I now believe the saying “an ex is an ex for a reason”. I did try and fought for a second chance before. Got my ex back after few months. True it was great at first. But the issues that was the problem at the start came resurfacing again, and unless you have dealt with it fully and agreed to work it out, those issues and problems will keep coming back and taunt you why you needed to break up in the first place. A second chance is a good thing when both parties tries their best to work things out. If not, then its not worth it. Cherish the memories and just move on. Experience new things, environment and new people, while upgrading yourself for the better.
So true! Exactly what happened to me when me and my ex got back together 3 years ago. I did tonnes of work, he had started to do some but lots of his issues still remained. Glad it’s over now but I do I hope he’s doing well as I think he’s a good person still.
Its been 6 months and I was feeling pretty good already, but a simple dream takes me back to a bit of sadness. Still no way near the sadness of the first months. Thanks for the videos!
It’s a journey! I’m at 6 months too and still occasionally get a pang of sadness - I just try to turn it into a feeling of gratitude for what they brought into my life but now it’s time for the next chapter. Hope it goes well for you.
@@cloup1592 While im awake im more aware of reality so triggers dont usually get me. The dreams where you cant tell is not real is was gets me when I wake up
Journaling is an absolute must. I’d even say if you’re not journaling you’re not doing everything needed. I wasn’t journaling the first 3 months but doing everything else - essentially not giving myself *any* time to grieve. I literally did not think about him at all - so at 3 months it but me and I fell into a depression. Journaling helped me to actually deal with the breakup and work through the grief instead of ignoring or burying it.
3 years no contact since breakup.. no sign of him ever again.. Been dating many people since but no one like him..i am ok now, did so much self work and are now a successful businesswoman.. thanks to you Rory! However, a part of me remains heartbroken though cause he still is my „one that got away“ . The thought of him never revisiting the idea of reconciliation cause he is most likely happily taken now just hurts Nothing I can change..NC is indefinite
I feel you, Julia. My ex is gone for over two years now. I actually broke the no contact rule three times. Two times when I bumped into her some months ago and had some fun conversations but nothing more. And once I wrote her on Instagram right after our conversation in real life. Well, guess what, she never replied despite the conversations being normal. She does not care anymore. This is 100% game over. And yeah, that hurts. It truely does feel like "the one who got away". Anyway, life goes on.
Hey guys ... Rory has been a pilar of wisdom since my break up a year and half ago .... Listen to what he say DO THE WORK ... AND keep.it up I am now dating someone that is just awesome... we fit amazingly .. You realise your ex is not as perfect as you thought ... LEAVE THEM BE .. they'll eventually see your worth ... andbit will be too late Thank you Rory .. 🤗
You’re awesome man. I have been doing limited contact simply because we have children together. I am starting to see that I can be happy with myself. I’m sure I would have came to this conclusion on my own but your recommendations have most definitely worked much faster. Thank you again for helping us through this process.
Hi Rory, are you going to upload more episodes on Spotify? I love and enjoy listening to your podcasts whenever i’m alone thinking about my ex while walking/driving. It helps me to not break no contact and to remind myself that i deserve better.
So proud of myself. I am doing all these you have mentioned. Being an outdoor person I love to walk run anything to keep my mind in a good place. No he won't be contacting me. Good. Love your advice. Thank you.🎵🎶🤠💞
Rory, once again you make so much sense. I was contacted by my ex saying that something that happened in her life made her think of me. I responded and said thanks for sharing that with me, however, I didn’t set up anything or gauge her interest. I honestly didn’t know what to say or do. I didn’t mention the relationship or say anything about it. Did I blow it? I had a call with you on June 30th and it was totally what I needed. I guess I will see if she will reach out again, but I wish I had heard this sooner. I know that I won’t reach out, so the next time if she does, I will gauge her interest and ask her out. Thanks for what you do and any advice you can give me. Take care, my friend.
They never loved you enough if they fell out of love……never forget that. My advice……take them back but never take them seriously cheat on them etc go on dates then do them the same way they did you.🤫
Sometimes it doesn’t have anything with you… maybe they’re aren’t used to non-toxic person… some people function and go right to what they know… anything outside there environment can be scary… is it fair no, however who said life was fair. Be the best version of you.
Hey Rory , last time we saw each other 2 days ago , I left a nice impression she said she wasn’t expecting me to change and she was proud but for the moment she’s happy and she doesn’t think we will be back
Hi Rory hope you doing good Just wanted to ask a quick question So my ex and I broke up like 1,5 years back and the last chat we had was way back in nov 2021 and now she texted me all of the sudden asking how am I and my family so I didn’t wanted to be rude and I replied with am good how are you she said am good too so I just left it there I was just wondering why would she text me for nothing like what was this for if you not gonna something important or substantial 👀👀
Keep the conversation going if you want her back. She initiated it. Ask her what she’s been up to and if she’d like to grab some coffee or dinner….pretty simple
@@jeffmullins7260 true fam but that’s the thing right am not sure I want her back anymore and with this little effort how are you nah hell no or maybe it’s just ego speaking 😂 but mate been working on myself and raising my standards
@@Otthewolf The way I see it, this is an indirect way of directly contacting you. It seems low effort, because in a sense it is, but you may want to understand that she isn’t in a place of power and control like she used to be. She can’t just snap her fingers and be back with you anymore, so imagine how that can make her feel worried/anxious when reaching out. In the end, if getting back together is an option for you, texting will just be a way to initiate a meetup.
I was not nice to you. I am sorry. Doesn't mean I want to get back or whatever. Just apologizing because I could have tried to be nicer and resolved things. My ex msgd me this after no contact for one month What to do??
Should i tell my long distance ex that i have moved back to her city? We broke up 3 weeks ago and i will move back once i can work again after a broken leg. We had been together long distance for 2 years.
Hi Rory, I’ve been listening to you for quite a long time. If no contact worked once before can it work again? We broke up again and i instantly went no contact.
It been about a month she wanted space and I couldn’t respect and she pushed away she ended up blocking me and my friend recently contacted her and let her about me because I’m having health issues and she said that she is waiting for a perfect time to reach I said fuck it and let it be I don’t stalk her socials nun that but she still watches me once in while but sometimes I find myself posting things to get her jealous and make her feel bad but I realize that’s kinda bad and decreases my chance to get back with her and I just logged out that account and went to the account that she has me blocked basically gonna disappear I plan on reaching out but I need to fix myself first before that but yeah what do u think ????
A month has past. Doing NC. Never begged, never reached out besides some texts about my things, going to the gym, eating healthier, going on walks, went to holidays and i feel like shit. I want her back so fucking much...
I felt the same 1 year ago. I don't know about you or your hobbies but I was playing computer game and meanwhile talking with my virtual friends. It helps. If you are a 'gamer', play the games you played more years ago, I mean Offline games, maybe Red Alert, Sims, Flatout, NFS or whatever... It actually brings memory ang better feeling onside yourself. Im not saying it will save you from everythong but helps to skip the time a little bit until you'll be better. Also a tip: Do not read texts with your partner, if you feel like you wants to, don't. It will caise pain. :D
Dude, you're literaly eating, breathing, living without her. Grow some masculinity ffs. That depending behavior will only push you downwards in the long run. Its not attractive for other people. What if some girl near you secretly likes you but you're always focus on a person who isnt part of your life anymore and feel like shit 24/7. It will drive people away because you cant get your emotions in order.
Question ! Should i write her a honest letter about the things i did wrong and say sorry for Them? Ive been wanting, to say sorry about the things i did wrong for 3 Months now. We last texted 1.5 weeks ago, her answers take several days. But I didn't ask anymore questions after her last one even though she asked me how my vacation was, I just told her how it was and she replied she was happy for me and to enjoy the rest of my vacation, and then I did not reply. But i miss her so bad, but I am able to be happy again now and do things alone myself again. Still have moments though, but i try to stay strong 💪I broke up over idiot reasons. But was my first relationship I had a lot to learn.
If you broke up with her then you need to be the one to reach out and apologize and say you miss her. If she broke up with you, then you need to leave her alone and let her experience life without you. If your relationship was even decent, there will be things that she misses doing with you. She will eventually talk to you again and THAT is when you show her the different person you have become. Don’t tell her, show her. But you are not to talk to her unless she reaches out to you first.
@@nyeonii I broke up, I was super stressed at the time, and I went out with an online ex I never was with after. And then I realised what I wanted. But then when I told her I was sorry and I was committing 100% she told me she no longer had feelings for me... we texted a bit before i went no contact
Hey you were also on the dating site.. Forget about her relationship with other people (because it’s inevitable). If you want her back, just focus on the things you can improve and be the best version of yourself.
Rory, would it be a mistake to text my ex who dumped me “your wish came true, I acknowledged your birthday 😏” on her birthday? I have a very playful flirty personality and I have sent that to other women in the past.
Thank you Rory… I have been watching your videos, doing work on myself…it’s 7 mths since break up and 5 months since no contact( initially I did the pleading) before seeing ur videos….it was a long distance situationship, for 4 months…I have 2 questions:1. I ain’t still over him( miss him a lot) when and how will I completely be over this?…there are days which are very painful 2. He has breadcrumbed me on 2-3 occasions like likes on Insta and asking 1 like irrelevant question …is there ever a possibility of him being back?
Coach with Rory: www.TheLoveChat.net/Coaching
Get professional therapy (ad): www.BetterHelp.com/Rory
I now believe the saying “an ex is an ex for a reason”. I did try and fought for a second chance before. Got my ex back after few months. True it was great at first. But the issues that was the problem at the start came resurfacing again, and unless you have dealt with it fully and agreed to work it out, those issues and problems will keep coming back and taunt you why you needed to break up in the first place. A second chance is a good thing when both parties tries their best to work things out. If not, then its not worth it. Cherish the memories and just move on. Experience new things, environment and new people, while upgrading yourself for the better.
So true! Exactly what happened to me when me and my ex got back together 3 years ago. I did tonnes of work, he had started to do some but lots of his issues still remained. Glad it’s over now but I do I hope he’s doing well as I think he’s a good person still.
That's why we always needed time
Its been 6 months and I was feeling pretty good already, but a simple dream takes me back to a bit of sadness. Still no way near the sadness of the first months. Thanks for the videos!
It’s a journey! I’m at 6 months too and still occasionally get a pang of sadness - I just try to turn it into a feeling of gratitude for what they brought into my life but now it’s time for the next chapter. Hope it goes well for you.
It's not the dreams for me, it's the random triggers. Like walking up the stairs to my flat, or a certain word!!
@@jasonjarred5198 I hope the same for you!
@@cloup1592 While im awake im more aware of reality so triggers dont usually get me. The dreams where you cant tell is not real is was gets me when I wake up
@@abrahamv.7714 yeah, subconscious thoughts and wishes come up 🥺
What to do:
Journaling
Meditation
Cold showers (dopamine release)
Exercise
Learn your attachment style and heal
Socialise
Take up new hobbies
Journaling is an absolute must. I’d even say if you’re not journaling you’re not doing everything needed. I wasn’t journaling the first 3 months but doing everything else - essentially not giving myself *any* time to grieve. I literally did not think about him at all - so at 3 months it but me and I fell into a depression. Journaling helped me to actually deal with the breakup and work through the grief instead of ignoring or burying it.
Strategy To Focus on Oneself and staying in NO CONTACT
P - physical
E - emotional
R - recreational
M - monetary
I - intellectual
T - travel
S - social
3 years no contact since breakup.. no sign of him ever again..
Been dating many people since but no one like him..i am ok now, did so much self work and are now a successful businesswoman.. thanks to you Rory!
However, a part of me remains heartbroken though cause he still is my „one that got away“ . The thought of him never revisiting the idea of reconciliation cause he is most likely happily taken now just hurts
Nothing I can change..NC is indefinite
I feel you, Julia. My ex is gone for over two years now. I actually broke the no contact rule three times. Two times when I bumped into her some months ago and had some fun conversations but nothing more. And once I wrote her on Instagram right after our conversation in real life. Well, guess what, she never replied despite the conversations being normal. She does not care anymore. This is 100% game over. And yeah, that hurts. It truely does feel like "the one who got away". Anyway, life goes on.
Hey guys ... Rory has been a pilar of wisdom since my break up a year and half ago ....
Listen to what he say DO THE WORK ...
AND keep.it up
I am now dating someone that is just awesome... we fit amazingly ..
You realise your ex is not as perfect as you thought ... LEAVE THEM BE .. they'll eventually see your worth ... andbit will be too late
Thank you Rory .. 🤗
You’re awesome man. I have been doing limited contact simply because we have children together. I am starting to see that I can be happy with myself. I’m sure I would have came to this conclusion on my own but your recommendations have most definitely worked much faster. Thank you again for helping us through this process.
Hi Rory, are you going to upload more episodes on Spotify? I love and enjoy listening to your podcasts whenever i’m alone thinking about my ex while walking/driving. It helps me to not break no contact and to remind myself that i deserve better.
Yes, all of these get uploaded to Spotify as well
Liked before watching ;)
So proud of myself. I am doing all these you have mentioned. Being an outdoor person I love to walk run anything to keep my mind in a good place. No he won't be contacting me. Good. Love your advice. Thank you.🎵🎶🤠💞
I'm proud of you, Lila!
Ready A Book
Take A walk
Make yourself Laugh
Hello Friends - our Discord Community is free and available to everyone: discord.gg/DVarwYvJF2
Rory, once again you make so much sense. I was contacted by my ex saying that something that happened in her life made her think of me. I responded and said thanks for sharing that with me, however, I didn’t set up anything or gauge her interest. I honestly didn’t know what to say or do. I didn’t mention the relationship or say anything about it. Did I blow it? I had a call with you on June 30th and it was totally what I needed. I guess I will see if she will reach out again, but I wish I had heard this sooner. I know that I won’t reach out, so the next time if she does, I will gauge her interest and ask her out. Thanks for what you do and any advice you can give me. Take care, my friend.
Nah - you didn't blow it. It's easy to get anxious over those types of situations but I promise you didn't ruin anything.
@@TheLoveChat thanks Rory!!
looking forward to the impulsive breakup video
They never loved you enough if they fell out of love……never forget that. My advice……take them back but never take them seriously cheat on them etc go on dates then do them the same way they did you.🤫
Sometimes it doesn’t have anything with you… maybe they’re aren’t used to non-toxic person… some people function and go right to what they know… anything outside there environment can be scary… is it fair no, however who said life was fair. Be the best version of you.
Hey Rory , last time we saw each other 2 days ago , I left a nice impression she said she wasn’t expecting me to change and she was proud but for the moment she’s happy and she doesn’t think we will be back
Hello rory thank you for your content been a fan for years
Can you do a video about ghosting
This helped a lot thank you
Rory!
Good Job
But what if your ex gets into a rebound relationship during no contact? Would they still be thing about you?
Hi Rory hope you doing good
Just wanted to ask a quick question
So my ex and I broke up like 1,5 years back and the last chat we had was way back in nov 2021 and now she texted me all of the sudden asking how am I and my family so I didn’t wanted to be rude and I replied with am good how are you she said am good too so I just left it there
I was just wondering why would she text me for nothing like what was this for if you not gonna something important or substantial 👀👀
Keep the conversation going if you want her back. She initiated it. Ask her what she’s been up to and if she’d like to grab some coffee or dinner….pretty simple
@@jeffmullins7260 true fam but that’s the thing right am not sure I want her back anymore and with this little effort how are you nah hell no or maybe it’s just ego speaking 😂 but mate been working on myself and raising my standards
@@Otthewolf The way I see it, this is an indirect way of directly contacting you. It seems low effort, because in a sense it is, but you may want to understand that she isn’t in a place of power and control like she used to be. She can’t just snap her fingers and be back with you anymore, so imagine how that can make her feel worried/anxious when reaching out. In the end, if getting back together is an option for you, texting will just be a way to initiate a meetup.
I was not nice to you. I am sorry. Doesn't
mean I want to get back or whatever.
Just apologizing because I could have
tried to be nicer and resolved things.
My ex msgd me this after no contact for one month
What to do??
Should i tell my long distance ex that i have moved back to her city? We broke up 3 weeks ago and i will move back once i can work again after a broken leg. We had been together long distance for 2 years.
Hi Rory, I’ve been listening to you for quite a long time. If no contact worked once before can it work again? We broke up again and i instantly went no contact.
Id say it always works as long as you're doing it for you.
It been about a month she wanted space and I couldn’t respect and she pushed away she ended up blocking me and my friend recently contacted her and let her about me because I’m having health issues and she said that she is waiting for a perfect time to reach I said fuck it and let it be I don’t stalk her socials nun that but she still watches me once in while but sometimes I find myself posting things to get her jealous and make her feel bad but I realize that’s kinda bad and decreases my chance to get back with her and I just logged out that account and went to the account that she has me blocked basically gonna disappear I plan on reaching out but I need to fix myself first before that but yeah what do u think ????
A month has past. Doing NC. Never begged, never reached out besides some texts about my things, going to the gym, eating healthier, going on walks, went to holidays and i feel like shit. I want her back so fucking much...
I felt the same 1 year ago. I don't know about you or your hobbies but I was playing computer game and meanwhile talking with my virtual friends. It helps. If you are a 'gamer', play the games you played more years ago, I mean Offline games, maybe Red Alert, Sims, Flatout, NFS or whatever... It actually brings memory ang better feeling onside yourself. Im not saying it will save you from everythong but helps to skip the time a little bit until you'll be better.
Also a tip: Do not read texts with your partner, if you feel like you wants to, don't. It will caise pain. :D
Dude, you're literaly eating, breathing, living without her. Grow some masculinity ffs. That depending behavior will only push you downwards in the long run. Its not attractive for other people. What if some girl near you secretly likes you but you're always focus on a person who isnt part of your life anymore and feel like shit 24/7. It will drive people away because you cant get your emotions in order.
Did she ever come back? How are you now?
Wish this could be my case but my ex got married 6 weeks after the break up so I dont think this is applicable but nice vid tho
That's insane
Hit the fucking like button
Question !
Should i write her a honest letter about the things i did wrong and say sorry for Them? Ive been wanting, to say sorry about the things i did wrong for 3 Months now. We last texted 1.5 weeks ago, her answers take several days. But I didn't ask anymore questions after her last one even though she asked me how my vacation was, I just told her how it was and she replied she was happy for me and to enjoy the rest of my vacation, and then I did not reply. But i miss her so bad, but I am able to be happy again now and do things alone myself again. Still have moments though, but i try to stay strong 💪I broke up over idiot reasons. But was my first relationship I had a lot to learn.
If you broke up with her then you need to be the one to reach out and apologize and say you miss her. If she broke up with you, then you need to leave her alone and let her experience life without you. If your relationship was even decent, there will be things that she misses doing with you. She will eventually talk to you again and THAT is when you show her the different person you have become. Don’t tell her, show her. But you are not to talk to her unless she reaches out to you first.
@@nyeonii I broke up, I was super stressed at the time, and I went out with an online ex I never was with after. And then I realised what I wanted. But then when I told her I was sorry and I was committing 100% she told me she no longer had feelings for me... we texted a bit before i went no contact
Broke up 10 weeks ago… just saw her on dating site… 😭
Hey you were also on the dating site.. Forget about her relationship with other people (because it’s inevitable). If you want her back, just focus on the things you can improve and be the best version of yourself.
@@novaparadoxx9043 your right of course!
Hey rory, is the discord link still available
discord.gg/mTWAVGcM
thanks 😊
@@TheLoveChat this link doesn’t work :(
I need help. Maybe when I have money lol
Rory, would it be a mistake to text my ex who dumped me “your wish came true, I acknowledged your birthday 😏” on her birthday?
I have a very playful flirty personality and I have sent that to other women in the past.
Yes, don't do this
Dude no don't do that. Also maybe evaluate your flirty personality if that's what you're coming up with. Good luck man, this shit sucks
Why the hell will you text that LMAO
@TheLoveChat
What If I agreed to Being Friends but she also Said that we need a time of no contact ?
Thank you Rory… I have been watching your videos, doing work on myself…it’s 7 mths since break up and 5 months since no contact( initially I did the pleading) before seeing ur videos….it was a long distance situationship, for 4 months…I have 2 questions:1. I ain’t still over him( miss him a lot) when and how will I completely be over this?…there are days which are very painful 2. He has breadcrumbed me on 2-3 occasions like likes on Insta and asking 1 like irrelevant question …is there ever a possibility of him being back?
tbh i would suggest another channel. i recommend: the compassion channel by fenna van den berg and the videos about limerence
basically you can’t tell when you are ‚over this‘, you maybe have to grieve this, and it goes in waves (comes sometimes back also after a long time).