Carlos Castanada wrote a lot of books. Are you talking about the teachings of Don Juan, Journey to Ixtlan, or a Separate reality? I only seperated from my body once, but that was a different circumstance and I wasn't able to reproduce that experience. Thank you for sharing.
@@TEA-fj3ut yes indeed, the Don Juan books. Interstingly enough, I would turn out to excel more quickly then C.Costanada in the lessons and achieve purposeful out of body before even completing the reading of the book. NOW I no longer have the ability as readily as I did then if at all. I cant seem to do it anymore. Tried during my 8 months in prison to no avail. I thought it would make a fine escape from imprisonment but no such luck anymore. I am too stressed depressed and broken now. But i can wait till dead to do that and far more.
Sometimes these thumb downs were just accidents.. It happened to me before that I had pressed thumb down with no intention of doing so.. It just accidents im sure of that.
@@doggiestylepetresort It's not cruel to provide feedback. It doesn't come from hatred. Rayzer rambles a bit, and some people just want to get to the point.
I disagree. Though it does take bravery for some to continue living. Others have it very easy here. Facing the unknown and possibly a Hellish afterlife takes far more fortitude then just living a poor ,uncertain , or mundane life that will end anyway. Life is a preparation for the after life. Live in such a way that you shape a good after life with the life you lead. God bless you.
When ever I get depressed I seek counsel from the animals...they don't have any generational gaps, social justice hangups or rules of fashion, social behavior...We humans love to overcomplicate ourselves into oblivion.
You said it. So true. Especially worse with every new further indoctrinated generation. So many pitfalls in life today. Animals and nature are God's gift to us that way among others.
I agree with you. People who don't know how strong bonds are between human and animals have never owned a pet. They are God's gift to us, they love unconditionally, they are always there to comfort you in times of distress, and they will be with you long after they have passed. We will see them again, those that say animals don't have souls never owned a dog, cat, bird, or otherwise. God bless you!
My daddy killed himself in 2019, he shot himself in the temple. He died 24 hrs later. He was in Mexico at a ranch, alone. By the time I got to where he was (at a hospital) he was gone. I wanted to say goodbye. My big brother was there with him, i heard him cry like never in my life and it hurt my soul not being able to hug him. So hard to know he was there and alone. My dad thought about suicide from a younger age ( found out after he passed away) what hurt me was the way he died, the pain he must have felt, the loneliness, what he must have felt in his heart ...all that but not death because i understand that its part of life. He was away most of my life but i adored my dad and he knew it and i told him many times how much i loved him, kissed him so much the last time i saw him alive. I miss him, miss knowing that i cant physically see him again. He had this planned, he literally dug his own grave next to his sister, he had his funeral paid for, oh this hurt beyond words, just to imagine what kind of pain he must have felt, i know he cried alone and that is what hurts. After his death i cried and yelled at God why? Why my Daddy? I heard this “ dont look for God in the outside He is within” that has changed my life. Shortly after My Dad came to me in a dream and he literally walked me out of the house i was living in at that time, while i walked behind him there were crocodiles and snakes coming from under the walls and trying to get me and he kicked them all and walked me outside to safety, a few months later i had alot of problems in that house and had to sell it but not before going through hell literally, legal and money issues but at the end i sold the house and made a huge profit, i know my Daddy helped me and now i know that he is okay. He is not in hell like the christians told me, i actually saw him again and he said he was not in the cemetery that he was in my heart. I am now at peace with his death because i know he is ok. I have alot of dreams before things happen, even my daughters death i dreamt too. God is real, he is within us all🙏🏼❤️
You are correct ,Gala. I hope that sharing your story here helped in some small way. Giving it away to the world helps take it off your back a bit. I hope you continue to heal. Christians and Catholics are wrong about suicide. Only healing and comfort waits for them on the other side. But their spirit may feel compelled to live this life again because in many cases they didn't fulfill their lifes mission by cutting it short. But its all in the bigger plan. Gods plan. God bless you and yours. Be well out there.
Sorry I'm back again you say you never had no time to say goodbye that's why it isn't no goodbye just say to him that you love him he can hear you you cannot see that world
@@rayzerwrecker70 rayzer - Catholics are CHRISTIAN!!!! And there is only ONE LIFE, Thank-God!!!! You don't come back as a "Lady Bug" or a Famous Pianist, you go to Heaven, Hell or Purgatory. MOST go to Purgatory!!!!
@@barrysoetoro7835 I am at the moment. In fact I have just emerged from a bout of (not sure what, I get every spring)- nostalgic depression and feel euphoric and peaceful right now. Hope you and everyone else on here feel peace as well x
I appreciate the kind words ,Chun. Thanks for taking the time. I am glad it came of interest to you all the way out there in China. Brutal honesty is a character trait of mine. For better or worse. Be well.
Yes, you are a wonderfull person I think and God saved you for a reason. My daughter was killed 1,5 years ago, so videos like your are some pain relief for me. Thank you so much. 🙏🏻
You are so kind for saying this, Belina. I thank you. I also send you blessings for healing and peace. May the dear Lord Jesus bless you richly. You will be reunited with your loved ones to be certain.
Hello Susie, Thank you kindly for the loving words and kindness. I am so glad now that i shared this knowing how it helps others in their similar struggles. May God bless you richly.
Blimey, I thought I'd had it rough! Major kudos for getting through all that, and serious props for making the video, bro. You got Big J in your corner now so everything's cool. Sweet!
Glad to have you on my side somewhere out there ,Bro. You and those sweet souls like you are in my prayers. Be well here in Hell till we reach Heaven again.
The NDE is short for "near death experience". So that would not have started for you unless you pulled the trigger ,died ,and was revived somehow. But i hope you find peace and love instead.
@@rayzerwrecker70 i dont get one thing, after the gunshot you walked to your car, did things or two, and later in the ambulance you get 2 flat lines and you experience nothing......my guess is you got a schrapnel in your head and you got a obe rather than a nde, i was really shocked and amazed that you didnt recall anything from those 2 flat lines, i believe your words but my guess is that you hallucinated after the shot or did have a out of body experience
@@commendatore2516 Hello C, I took the experience as the spirit world intending not to communicate with me in that way. I was sooo removed from God at the time ,that I dont think I would have interacted with good spirits but evil instead. So I believe i was spared that way. The kind of experience i had during the brief time on the other side immediately after the shot , I later confirmed was part of many other NDE experiences by others. I just didnt travel any further then the black place that many start at. I have had more time on the other side through my intentional outer body experiences through meditation practices. There was no need to return to the other side during my next two flatlines. Or i did and the memory was wiped. Often we cross over during healthy dream time and chalk it up to being only a dream. God bless you.
I am glad you are still alive, you are beautiful and nice and friendly. You have light and love in your eyes. I am sorry for all the pain you went through. Glad you still live and you have learned so much. God loves you and bless you. I hug you with my heart and thank you for sharing your story with us. May you be blessed every day . Ciao from Italy 💖💖from Elisabetta
Greetings to you Ciao , Sei una bella persona. How very sweet you are. I am deeply touched with your heart felt words. So glad and encouraged by your comment and visit. Our Lord Jesus still has much work to do on me by improving my heart and soul but i know he is still with me and we are both working hard to get me where i need to be. With him in Heaven. I know you will be there. May God bless you and yours richly and often.
@@rayzerwrecker70 dear, I am sure Jesus has a lot to do with all of us! But he loves us so much and He is patient! Never give up please ! You are blessed. Hugs hugs hugs!! Life is beautiful and worthy. 🤗🤗👌❤💖💖💖💖💖🍀ciao! Elisabetta
My daughter took her life at 24 . She shot herself in the temple. She was so good at hiding her pain. I would love to hear more from you about how one could do what we are so programmed not to? I think maybe god kept you here to help understand this? Maybe it is your mission to help surviving family and friends? Thank you for this video.
Hello Dorothy. It pains me to know of your suffering and so many like us in these broken times. I am glad my story may have helped in some small way. I do wish to serve humanity in support of this specific kind if and where i can. You can ask me here if you like or find me on FaceBook as Raynard Hannah and private message me there. I pray you find the healing you need in this life time.
God bless you for your sincere kindness ,my friend. It is needed. I am trapped in a dark space yet again and hoping God provides real soon before hopelessness sets in this winter. Pray for me. Much Love to you.
I'm glad you're still here to tell this story! Life is much too precious to end it like that. Even though things may seem terrible at the moment one considers suicide, those things will ALWAYS turn around with time. I like to think of life as a rotisserie. There will be moments where you are directly over the fire and moments where you are able to get a break from the heat while those around you cook. However, it never stops rotating because everybody has to go over the fire eventually.
@@rayzerwrecker70 Thank you, you too! I saw your second video and I sure hope you are doing much better since these videos were made. I'm sure it felt therapeutic to get all of that out in the open! I am a nurse and I always commend my patients when they open up about past traumas. It takes a lot of courage for one to do.
@@NurseNick420 You serve a great purpose here and you seem well suited for it. God's angels are surely smiling on you. This surely has been beneficial for my piece of mind. Hopefully for other as well.
Your story is so wonderful, you will help so many with your experience. You are a great guy I love your personality and appreciate you taking the time to relive the darkness so that we can witness your light!
Wow, and thanks so much for your kindness, Diane! I wish the people who directly surround me felt the same way for me. Feeling little more then coldness since i moved to Maine. But i love the land so. May God bless you deeply always. 😘
I was hugely into DSBM music. As soon as I started watching I felt like you and I had some similarities. I'm only 13 minutes in to your video and I love it. God bless you brother.
Thanks my friend. I may be filming something special tmrw morning and posting soon after. I have slowed down a bit with the Maine weather slowing me down. Thank you much for you support and God bless you ,my friend.
Unfortunately we have to live through life we can't take our life , I suffer with some bad depression myself brother , thx for your testimony it takes courage , God bless you.
Wild story. Great music in the background by the way. Those dark figures from your early years could been from sleep paralysis or hypnagogia. You’re a creative and probably more connected to your unconscious mind and shadow self. The unconscious holds psychic/spirit phenomena not easy to deal with if it bleeds through. All light comes from dark. Glad you’re alive with the rest of us weirdos. Bless
Oh you are so funny and right on the mark. So blessed to discover colorful people in God's favor 🙏 here online through this msg. . Anyone who would like to be friends can find me as Raynard Hannah on f.b..God bless the wierdo's!
My former fiance shot himself in the head soon after we broke up. He said to me that he would kill himself if I left him. He shot himself with a shotgun 2 months later. It was a life altering experience. He struggled with depression all his life. I think of him and pray that he's in a good place, that he's happy, and at peace. This was in 2007.
No one should have to die with Gary Nueman as their exit music. Thats why I was saved. Lol. Kidding. Thanks for your kind support. May God bless 🙏 you.
@@rayzerwrecker70 you are hilarious my friend 😂 I was kinda wondering why you picked that 😅 May the Force be with you AND may you always KNOW IT 😀. I’m going thru a huge deal right now myself. I have a channel on YT I just started. I have been experiencing a lot of unexplained phenomena, stuff no one really believes is possible but this shit is really happening to me. I’m chronicling on my channel. I would love the opportunity to talk to you about it if you’re interested
@@iloveyou.thankyou.895 thnx bro, sorry ur going through some shit. Definitely get that shit on camera if yah can. Find me ax Raynard Hannah on F.B. to protect msg me there.
Hah, thanks for saying ,Howard. I feel those who have truly known suffering tend to be the funniest people. Maybe we appreciate light hearted comedy more because we have seen the extreme opposite of it. Odd how you picked up on that in this video because I thought i was being serious and leaving out and comic relief this time. God bless you ,Sir.
You're still here brother. That only means that you have work to do before you get to go home. Then again that applies to all of us. I can somewhat relate to your suicide experience although I failed. Anyhow my learned lesson is that suicide is and should never be an option. Glad that you're still with us brother. God bless.
When I’ve died in deep sleep....there is an absolutely brilliant flash of light and then an cornerless white landscape with a severe ringing in my ears (like when you shoot with no earplugs)....it freaks me out and then I awake....this has happened many times!
My nephew shot himself in the head and died. I miss him so much. I didn't get to know him till he was 20. We became very close. He killed himself at 24, on father's day.
So sorry to hear it. Suicides are on the rise in todays dark social climate. We as those left behind must come to terms with it and try to make this a better place worth living in. God bless you.
How nice of you to say such a thing ,Ravin. Many thanks and may Gods rich blessing's be upon you. We all shine brightest in the light of GOD son Jesus.
Help kids, Charity and you'll give Christ no option but to prove to you he's in charge. You'll feel it as the kids smile. You easily have an eye to see God.
This is like a tutorial on good suicide guns. “Yeaaaah, I kind’a like a good 32 ought bolt rack jib. I feel like that would take the head right off. No fuss, no muss.”
21:52 If you mean the British singer who did 'Cars', that was Gary Numan. He came out of the punk era way back in the day. Mind you, I don't know a thing about the goth/death metal scene of the 2000s.
Thank you, Kali! Thank you so much. It is so therapeutic for me to tell what i know of it to others who want to know. I too love watching vids of other people NDE's. It seems most are better stories than my own. Mine is more a warning against dabbling in evil. God bless you and stay well.
My other worldly Christian Horror Metal band have just released our new EP for all to purchase on the link below. This music acts as a short concept album that speaks of the horrors i suffered around the making of earlier godless metal albums with earlier bands i fronted. Including the song "CREST FALLEN" lyrically based on my actual suicide experience. My metal band is GraveSideService based out of Rhode Island. Please support and thank you dearly. anpentaprod.bandcamp.com/album/beings-born-of-night-black-horror
Hello Jonathan, Thanks so much for visiting and sharing your kind words of love. Yes, I love this about Jesus. As for the depressing music, yes it speaks to my depression. Dark depressive music sooths the depression rather then attempting to treat it like it does not exist as we do through happy silly music. I do enjoy uplifting music as well though. God bless you richly and may you be well in all your days.
With all due respect I hope in your story you'll get straight to the point and tell the story without cutting off and on and going all in circles. I keep believing post because people constantly do this and I don't have the patience I lose track of the story when they do this. Your story sounds wonderful and I'm really interested so I'm ready to listen thank you so much for sharing
Sorry , you can skip around i dont mind. My resulting brain damage naturally effected my mental means to form recollections and coherent dialogue to express them at times. Its a struggle 😪. But still so very blessed for it. As you are somehow
May God be with you. I confess: I do not understand these feelings: better to seek happiness and process rationally through these things. There’s a better way.
More to be learned about the specific suicide epidemic i am a demographic part of. Much more to learn about my death of despair and others like me. czcams.com/video/Rw1dNtDEA00/video.html
You go through so many details that don't need to be said that I was getting extremely bored.. but I wanted to hear your nde so I stayed with it. I am fascinated by the other side I know it's real and I know it's there. I have absolutely no doubts that there is a God and Jesus and our guardian angels and everything else there I know it for a fact. I don't know how I do but I have no doubts. You are a pretty good storyteller except the details of north south east or west the color of your pug and just details you take a long time to tell anything you might want to work on that mister hahaha we are what we are right and we can't change it!
Yes, well thank you for taking the time and i hope it filled the moment with a worthy take away of some sort. I can only say i must be blessed to communicate as well as i do considering a 32 caliber bullet did a Ricochet in my brain and remains lodged in their for life. Sp thank you though, that was pretty funny to read. lol. God bless and be well in all you do ,Leesa.
Ive lost my Best friend like a brother to me, and 2 of my cousins who again were like my brothers to suicide by gun.... Smh.... And I was there for obe of them when it took place.. The aftermath and pain left for those behind is worse than the death itself... Selfish..
Thank Doug, I tried making such a video yesterday. Instead the video went missing unexplainably. I will try to share it all as i go. God bless you kindly.
I discovered death and black metal when I was high on heroin. I don’t use drugs anymore but I still have the songs in my library. There was 3 songs in particular that I used to listen to on repeat. It was Lucifer by Behemoth, From the Cradle to Enslave by Cradle of Filth and Feasting on the Blood of the Insane by Six Feet Under. I get a sinking feeling of dread when these songs come on shuffle. Best believe these songs aren’t just bullshit or for entertainment purposes. Other worldly beings communicate through music. The music was my life at the time.
I hear you ,my fiend. It is an addiction i still struggle with Christian dark metal doesn't make a good substitute for me either. I am in a Christian Black Metal band. GraveSideService. I made sure we do it right. We sound scary as hell but we are actually safe to listen to. I just bought the new SixFeetUnder! lol! Behemoth are sell outs and so are Cradle.O.F. but i can stand them as i have a history with them. Nostalgia is strong in me too. God bless and keep up the fight!
for all of those having these same issues here is a great prayer : IN THE NAME OF GOD , I ORDER satin and his kingdome OUT OF MY HEAD , I ALSO ORDER satin OUT OF MY BODY AND OUT OF MY HOME, BE GONE NOW AND FOREVER , NEVER TO RETURN , I SAY THIS IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST . OH HEAVENLY FATHER PLEASE COVER ME IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS AND PROTECT ME AND PLEASE FILL MY HOUSE WITH YOUR JOYFUL HEAVENLY ANGELS .GLORY BE TO GOD AND THANK YOU . God gave you the authority over satin and his kingdom so use it and ORDER HIM OUT. You can also do this for addiction or pain and illness.
Thank you, my friend. For caring. I struggle with the urge more and more lately. It's this war and all the evil in power in our government and across the world. I feel it must be the end times. So much is pointing to it. I do not want to be here for that kind of destruction. I am now the proud owner of a nitrogen tank. Looks like that may be the way I leave this troubled world. But little old ladies went out the same way. Alone. So why should I have it any better. At least its painless. I am sorry for your suffering as well ,P,Ranger. Raynard Hannah on FaceBook.
@@rayzerwrecker70 thanks for the reply my man. I heard that you grew up Catholic and then found Christ after your whole scenario. I am a practicing Muslim myself, and we too believe in Jesus, I bring this all up because we also believe in the end of times. Without a doubt we live in crazy times, but the beautiful thing about America is we can do our own thing, go about our own lives, even with all the chaos going on. We have to think and stay positive. Thanks for the honesty about the nitrogen tank man, but but let’s not use that, unless we’re doing some sort of science experiment haha. Rather tell me your interests and hobbies. I know you’re an artist and enjoy music. Sadly I’m not on Facebook but I’m looking forward to your message on here. Sorry for the long winded reply, hope to hear from you soon!
SUICIDE IS NOT COWARDLY!!!! IT TAKES BALLS! MY DAD DID IT IN 2005. He hung himself, but could have stood up at any time to save his life and did not. That takes GUTS!
Thanks for watching. I hope you could gleam some thing positive from it. I have not found happiness yet but I trust its guaranteed in the after life through my guidance by Jesus's promise. So I find peace in that for now. God bless.
So glad Jesus found you. If certain thoughts still affect you there may be some soul ties, alters, agreements or demons that still exist and operate spiritually in your life/mind. It's your right to be free totally and completely. It will never hurt you to ask God specifically for freedom from these too.
@@rayzerwrecker70 freedom is yours to walk in through the blood of Jesus and the victory he got for us. You actually need to pray to break those strongholds. There are people you can contact to pray with you that have specific ministries and annointing to send these things out of your life because it's not everyone that has the right armour to do so. The devil and his helpers seem big and scary but they are absolutely afraid if Jesus and you as his coheir walking in the truth of salvation. THIS IS FACT. Satan works on deception to keep control and that's all he has until we make it our reality. He has perfected the art of deception so much that he makes us believe in the lie that there is no escape from him and his demonic servants until heaven. There is a CZcams channel called The Supernatural Life - Daniel Adams, this man and his team go around using the power of God and the holy spirit to rid people of these spiritual tormentors, the demons even confess when commanded to speak. Check out some deliverance videos. It's so real and people are being freed in Jesus name. Daniel and his team also do one to one's so you can contact them. As much as I'm saved I still am identifying and cutting some things that attached them selves to my life (either by agreement or otherwise). They are clearly at work so the walk/ work really begins after you are saved and have accepted Jesus as your Lord and saviour it does not end with it as some may have us believe. Godly things are done in the spirit but we need to make sure what happens on earth agrees with it and that is through us. Both God and the enemy actually need us to achieve anything here on earth. Those are the rules which is why Jesus had to made flesh to accomplish what he did in this realm. You know this already, I just want you to know freedom can be yours and just because you may have dabbled in some things it's not now your life sentence to be afflicted or punished for it. We are ALL sinners. Sorry to go on and on but you must know that absolute freedom is your right. It's a practical walk. I hope to read of your new found levels of freedom here soon to the testimony of God's power. God bless you.
@@sylviasworld9397 so true. All of what you say. I am still tormented. I will seek them out. Thank you so much ,my friend. Much love and blessings to you and yours.
Once upon a cross is a good song lol.yea your here for a reason I think prop was you on a spiritual level missing the otherside that carried over with you in this life.
Thank you, my loving friend in life and spirit. I am not sure how well I am doing here in this life. My struggle is still with me. But it's tough all around here in what may be the END TIMES. I can only be sure I am saved and have a place prepared and reserved for me in God's house here after. See yah there, my friend! Much Love to you. Write anytime.
@@rayzerwrecker70 if you don't mind me saying, when my mind starts to think too much about sad things, I remember the scripture that says to think on things that are good and holy and uplifting. It really helps me, trying to think about the deputy around me and that I am loved by the creator of the universe. Not because I deserve it but because that is who He is. Yesterday I read psalm 50:23, he who sacrifices thankfulness honors Me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God. - so I am just trying to make that sacrifice thanking Him for all things I have and see. Today is the day the Lord has made let us be glad and rejoice in it. Ray, it does get easier when you practice it. I hate dark depression. I fight the good fight of sacrifice of worship and thankfulness. Be blessed my friend. The days are dark but we don't have to be. I'm in nh if you ever want to pray!
You seem to have a very difficult life story that would be interesting to read as a biography. I am happy that Christian life has helped you. Did you feel the love of God during your near death experience?
Greetings to you ,Ruth. Thanks for commenting. I do have enough odd ball tales to tell in an autobiography of sorts ,to be sure. But the demand is not there as of yet. Maybe there is more yet to add to the tale. To answer your question, No. I did not feel the love of God there. Where i went was devoid of all feeling. Had i gone further i am sure i would have experienced that or more likely a hellish experience, as i was a very dark and somewhat evil man at the time. I am not wasting this second chance to be the best man i can be though. In Jesus's dear sweet name. God bless you in your journey.
I agree. It is not cowardly to kill yourself. It takes one to the brink of anguish to act against that natural instinct of self preservation. Good you made it....It is scary how many suicides are happening.
Thnx for sharing your thoughts, Kitty. We are in dark times. I tend to think the end times by the look of it all. Just time to up the prayers and faith. God bless you.
I pray i can enjoy life again some day soon. At 50 now and not wanting to get too much older (ten yrs tops) , I dont have much more time. But i have Jesus's promise of a splendid after life. I want all the best for you and i send blessings of God's endless love your way. God bless you and yours ,Susan.
When I was 13, I was lying on my bed and I suddenly had a out of body experience. When it was through I said Wow! Suddenly God pulled the veil and I was allowed to see the demon behind it. Read the book, The Beautiful Side of Evil. I highly recommend it!
@@rayzerwrecker70 No, demons can deceive even with beauty. I was allowed to see the demon who had been behind my vision. I am a born again Christian now. The book I recommend is true written by a woman who was heavily involved in the occult. She is now a Christian.
Very nice. I am living in Maine now and love it so much. I would love to speak with you. Find me on Facebook as Raynard Hannah. Hope to see you there, my friend
I was pronounced DOA ( NOT a NDE.) at a medical center in 1973... No further attempt was made to resuscitate me... More than half an hour passed, and then my Heart started to beat again... During that half hour, I discovered the DIFFERENCE, between the human body, and "LIFE The Real Self"... I found that this universe including the human body, to be just a 'STORY', presented in the form of a 'Holographic Simulation', in a Display Register, of "The Processing System of LIFE", where "LIFE The Real Self", ( An Offspring of The LIGHT ) is the OBSERVER.
Thank you for sharing i feel realy bad right now got some bad thoughts dont want to go in to details pray for me so jesus shows me the way much love to each and every one of you
God bless you,E.Z.. I am sorry for your suffering. Far too many of us are suffering this way these days. Its the way of the world today. I just prayed for you but you need to do the work to live too. May you find the strength and reason to live on and fulfill your souls goals in life. Be well as best you can.
@@rayzerwrecker70 thanks for the prayer rayzer i will need all i can get hope jesus can help me and ahow me the way on my path since at this moment i truly feel lost and so empty guess its a very hard road ahead of me may god give you everthing you ask of him rayzer you are realy good human being which is rare this days may jesus blles you.
Hello ,my friend. It is best for you to exhaust every other possible option before considering the gun. The spiritual cost can be great if it is not meant to be. Most often suicide is not the proper way to go. I am glad to speak with you if you simply need a friend who truly understands. E-mail me if you care to talk about your troubles. You are not alone. ISITMYBODY@HOTMAIL.COM Sending love and prayer.
@@rayzerwrecker70 trust me I know. I’m out of every other option. My situation is bc permanently unavoidable and horrible. I’m much better off going back. I hope My consciousness can remember to never come back to this hellhole. I’m unsaveable. Nobody here for me. Not even allowed to have a bathroom break at work. Bladder disease and pain. 100k debt. Anxiety. Depression. Bipolar. Anxiety. Can’t get meds bc went to jail for a panic attack in June and b lost teaching career of 2 decades. Want me to go on ? I don’t want to bc it’s depressing for you at this point. I’m working with Hecate rn and she’s putting me through the spiritual ringer. We’ll see how I come out. Worst case-I go back and reunite with my dead parents! It’s so lonely here. My soul tribe seems to be hidden. I put out beacons but they r still hidden. So lonely.
@@rayzerwrecker70 it is a bit comical that I found ur vid looking up the angle for a .32. My .45 is too heavy bc I have been unable to eat much for a year bc I lost mom to cancer and my family hid it from me until it was too late. No hug. No kiss. No goodbye. They all got the chance but I did not. The .45 kicks too hard and a flinch would make one more thing another failure. I only have a sweet .44 with a hunting scope on it and a beautiful.45. I had to use the .32. I did not want to flinch so I looked and found you. I’m not dead yet, so-Maybe just another mindfuck by spirit?! I’m so confused at this point. Ordered a 106 shotgun with my last $250. Pickup Monday. I’m not sticking around for another holiday with no family no friends no money no joy no food no sleep no meds nothing except my tears. Right before my dad hung hi self in 05, I gave him the green light bc I know how mental illness feels and b loved b him enough to kiss him goodbye and let him go. I need everyone else to please give me that ya Know. I would like to hear about the spiritual attacks/cool shit that has happened to u. I live for spiritual stuff. “Goog or bad”
@@Bornless666 My friend. I hate to agree with you. But I may have to. I would end it all prior to my destiny death over less reason to grieve than what you face. I do believe a rare amount of spiritual paths actually have suicide written into it. Making it destiny. But very rare. I hope it was meant for you if you go through with it. But not encouraging you. I believe these are the very END TIMES anyway. I doubt this winter will go by without millions dying anyway. Just accept Jesus Christ into your life beforehand. Apologies, forgive, and hope for the best outcome thereafter. Write anytime. God bless you.
MAY I SAY THO WITH MUCH RESPECT!!!?! BUT YOU SHOULD FIND A MORE BRIGHTER PLACE TO HANG OUT ,ID BR AFRAID IT MIGHT BRING ON THE DEPRESSION AGAIN .CEMETERIES ARE NOT FUN,NOR A "BRIGHT" PLACE TO BE,ITS FOR THE DEAD (no disrespect at all!!!!!!) Maybe TRY HANGING OUT AT beach ,and ,listening to that music might put you back in that state of mine, I'm just so glad your here my friend!!!!!!! Thankyou for your testimony!!!!!!!!!
Part two is here for those still interested. czcams.com/video/RzstPwK2AIs/video.html
Carlos Castanada wrote a lot of books. Are you talking about the teachings of Don Juan, Journey to Ixtlan, or a Separate reality? I only seperated from my body once, but that was a different circumstance and I wasn't able to reproduce that experience. Thank you for sharing.
@@TEA-fj3ut yes indeed, the Don Juan books. Interstingly enough, I would turn out to excel more quickly then C.Costanada in the lessons and achieve purposeful out of body before even completing the reading of the book. NOW I no longer have the ability as readily as I did then if at all. I cant seem to do it anymore. Tried during my 8 months in prison to no avail. I thought it would make a fine escape from imprisonment but no such luck anymore. I am too stressed depressed and broken now. But i can wait till dead to do that and far more.
@@TEA-fj3ut k😋📽
SOOOO GLAD YOU ARE STILL HERE WITH US!!!
"YOU. " ARE WORTHY MY BROTHER!!!!!
AND "YOU ARE SPECIAL AND LOVED!!!!!!""
GOD BLESS TO YOU!!!!!!!
czcams.com/video/ctnzcLK_7Ko/video.html
This guy lays his soul bare and gets thumbs down. Whats wrong with people? Love you brother, thanks for sharing.
Thank you dearly ,Orbit80y. Haters gonna hate ,right? lol. I pray they find their way back to God as well. Be well ,Brother.
People are cruel and judgmental as hell. It’s sad and sickening. I thank him a lot for sharing his life and story with us. Raising awareness.
Sometimes these thumb downs were just accidents.. It happened to me before that I had pressed thumb down with no intention of doing so.. It just accidents im sure of that.
Godless. I was myself until 1988.
@@doggiestylepetresort It's not cruel to provide feedback. It doesn't come from hatred. Rayzer rambles a bit, and some people just want to get to the point.
It takes real guts to keep living in this world.
I disagree. Though it does take bravery for some to continue living. Others have it very easy here. Facing the unknown and possibly a Hellish afterlife takes far more fortitude then just living a poor ,uncertain , or mundane life that will end anyway. Life is a preparation for the after life. Live in such a way that you shape a good after life with the life you lead. God bless you.
When ever I get depressed I seek counsel from the animals...they don't have any generational gaps, social justice hangups or rules of fashion, social behavior...We humans love to overcomplicate ourselves into oblivion.
You said it. So true. Especially worse with every new further indoctrinated generation. So many pitfalls in life today. Animals and nature are God's gift to us that way among others.
Stay strong I agree with you I went through a divorce a year ago and I got a bit depressed over it I have a cat named Peaches that help me through it
I agree with you. People who don't know how strong bonds are between human and animals have never owned a pet. They are God's gift to us, they love unconditionally, they are always there to comfort you in times of distress, and they will be with you long after they have passed. We will see them again, those that say animals don't have souls never owned a dog, cat, bird, or otherwise. God bless you!
yep
My daddy killed himself in 2019, he shot himself in the temple. He died 24 hrs later. He was in Mexico at a ranch, alone. By the time I got to where he was (at a hospital) he was gone. I wanted to say goodbye. My big brother was there with him, i heard him cry like never in my life and it hurt my soul not being able to hug him. So hard to know he was there and alone. My dad thought about suicide from a younger age ( found out after he passed away) what hurt me was the way he died, the pain he must have felt, the loneliness, what he must have felt in his heart ...all that but not death because i understand that its part of life. He was away most of my life but i adored my dad and he knew it and i told him many times how much i loved him, kissed him so much the last time i saw him alive. I miss him, miss knowing that i cant physically see him again. He had this planned, he literally dug his own grave next to his sister, he had his funeral paid for, oh this hurt beyond words, just to imagine what kind of pain he must have felt, i know he cried alone and that is what hurts. After his death i cried and yelled at God why? Why my Daddy? I heard this “ dont look for God in the outside He is within” that has changed my life. Shortly after My Dad came to me in a dream and he literally walked me out of the house i was living in at that time, while i walked behind him there were crocodiles and snakes coming from under the walls and trying to get me and he kicked them all and walked me outside to safety, a few months later i had alot of problems in that house and had to sell it but not before going through hell literally, legal and money issues but at the end i sold the house and made a huge profit, i know my Daddy helped me and now i know that he is okay. He is not in hell like the christians told me, i actually saw him again and he said he was not in the cemetery that he was in my heart. I am now at peace with his death because i know he is ok. I have alot of dreams before things happen, even my daughters death i dreamt too. God is real, he is within us all🙏🏼❤️
You are correct ,Gala. I hope that sharing your story here helped in some small way. Giving it away to the world helps take it off your back a bit. I hope you continue to heal. Christians and Catholics are wrong about suicide. Only healing and comfort waits for them on the other side. But their spirit may feel compelled to live this life again because in many cases they didn't fulfill their lifes mission by cutting it short. But its all in the bigger plan. Gods plan. God bless you and yours. Be well out there.
@@rayzerwrecker70 it does thank you, I try not to think about it.. hurts to..
My dear friend your father is ok he is alive find yourself a spiritualist church from Steve clairvoyant medium
Sorry I'm back again you say you never had no time to say goodbye that's why it isn't no goodbye just say to him that you love him he can hear you you cannot see that world
@@rayzerwrecker70 rayzer - Catholics are CHRISTIAN!!!! And there is only ONE LIFE, Thank-God!!!! You don't come back as a "Lady Bug" or a Famous Pianist, you go to Heaven, Hell or Purgatory. MOST go to Purgatory!!!!
I sympathise with you. I have suffered from depression for as long as I csn remember. God bless xx
I hope you are doing okay, sister.
@@barrysoetoro7835 I am at the moment. In fact I have just emerged from a bout of (not sure what, I get every spring)- nostalgic depression and feel euphoric and peaceful right now. Hope you and everyone else on here feel peace as well x
@@lynnomara601 That makes me happy. Hope you are well.
Admire your brutal honesty and courage to show your vulnerability! Daniel from China
I appreciate the kind words ,Chun. Thanks for taking the time. I am glad it came of interest to you all the way out there in China. Brutal honesty is a character trait of mine. For better or worse.
Be well.
I don’t know you but I wanted to tell you I love you. And that your life has tremendous value.
Thanks for that. We all have tremendous value if we use it for God's message. Sending much LOVE.
I feel your pain brother i struggle with depression too.
Yes, you are a wonderfull person I think and God saved you for a reason. My daughter was killed 1,5 years ago, so videos like your are some pain relief for me. Thank you so much. 🙏🏻
You are so kind for saying this, Belina. I thank you. I also send you blessings for healing and peace. May the dear Lord Jesus bless you richly. You will be reunited with your loved ones to be certain.
Hope you feel how deeply grateful I am for this. Thank you dear, yes, our Lord showed me in a unmistakable way, that she is with Him. God bless you.
So much gratitude for you sharing your story. What an evolved soul and strong spirit you are. What a privilege to encounter your video. 🙏💜
Hello Susie, Thank you kindly for the loving words and kindness. I am so glad now that i shared this knowing how it helps others in their similar struggles. May God bless you richly.
So honest time he took in his car to tell his story in detail should b commended for that God bless him 💖
Blimey, I thought I'd had it rough! Major kudos for getting through all that, and serious props for making the video, bro. You got Big J in your corner now so everything's cool. Sweet!
Glad to have you on my side somewhere out there ,Bro. You and those sweet souls like you are in my prayers. Be well here in Hell till we reach Heaven again.
Glad you’re still experiencing the light in life !! ♥️
I was struggling not to put my pistol to my head waiting for the NDE part to start, which I don't believe it ever did. Glad your ok though bro.
The NDE is short for "near death experience". So that would not have started for you unless you pulled the trigger ,died ,and was revived somehow. But i hope you find peace and love instead.
@@rayzerwrecker70 i dont get one thing, after the gunshot you walked to your car, did things or two, and later in the ambulance you get 2 flat lines and you experience nothing......my guess is you got a schrapnel in your head and you got a obe rather than a nde, i was really shocked and amazed that you didnt recall anything from those 2 flat lines, i believe your words but my guess is that you hallucinated after the shot or did have a out of body experience
@@commendatore2516 Hello C, I took the experience as the spirit world intending not to communicate with me in that way. I was sooo removed from God at the time ,that I dont think I would have interacted with good spirits but evil instead. So I believe i was spared that way. The kind of experience i had during the brief time on the other side immediately after the shot , I later confirmed was part of many other NDE experiences by others. I just didnt travel any further then the black place that many start at. I have had more time on the other side through my intentional outer body experiences through meditation practices. There was no need to return to the other side during my next two flatlines. Or i did and the memory was wiped. Often we cross over during healthy dream time and chalk it up to being only a dream. God bless you.
lol
Yeah I hsd to go too. Yaw have a great day. What a wonderful world. Lol
I am glad you are still alive, you are beautiful and nice and friendly. You have light and love in your eyes. I am sorry for all the pain you went through. Glad you still live and you have learned so much. God loves you and bless you. I hug you with my heart and thank you for sharing your story with us. May you be blessed every day . Ciao from Italy 💖💖from Elisabetta
Greetings to you Ciao , Sei una bella persona. How very sweet you are. I am deeply touched with your heart felt words. So glad and encouraged by your comment and visit. Our Lord Jesus still has much work to do on me by improving my heart and soul but i know he is still with me and we are both working hard to get me where i need to be. With him in Heaven. I know you will be there. May God bless you and yours richly and often.
@@rayzerwrecker70 dear, I am sure Jesus has a lot to do with all of us! But he loves us so much and He is patient! Never give up please ! You are blessed. Hugs hugs hugs!! Life is beautiful and worthy. 🤗🤗👌❤💖💖💖💖💖🍀ciao! Elisabetta
My daughter took her life at 24 . She shot herself in the temple. She was so good at hiding her pain. I would love to hear more from you about how one could do what we are so programmed not to? I think maybe god kept you here to help understand this? Maybe it is your mission to help surviving family and friends? Thank you for this video.
Hello Dorothy. It pains me to know of your suffering and so many like us in these broken times. I am glad my story may have helped in some small way. I do wish to serve humanity in support of this specific kind if and where i can. You can ask me here if you like or find me on FaceBook as Raynard Hannah and private message me there. I pray you find the healing you need in this life time.
Very emotionally sensitive person, just need more love and understanding. Definitely prayer too
No offense but after all of that I still haven't really heard the NDE.
I'm certainly glad you're alright though and obviously healing as a person
Thank you ,Ms.. The NDE starts at the next video PART TWO.
@@rayzerwrecker70 oh ok I'm sorry my bad. I didn't notice that AT the time I wrote the comment
I was thinking the same
What does nde mean?
@Mark White ok ...got it.
We need more people like you in this world. ALIVE❤️
God bless you for your sincere kindness ,my friend. It is needed. I am trapped in a dark space yet again and hoping God provides real soon before hopelessness sets in this winter. Pray for me. Much Love to you.
Praying 🙏 ❤ peace and joy is found in Christ
I'm glad you're still here to tell this story! Life is much too precious to end it like that. Even though things may seem terrible at the moment one considers suicide, those things will ALWAYS turn around with time. I like to think of life as a rotisserie. There will be moments where you are directly over the fire and moments where you are able to get a break from the heat while those around you cook. However, it never stops rotating because everybody has to go over the fire eventually.
Interesting analogy. Thanks for sharing and may the Lord our God bless you richly in this life and here after. Be well.
@@rayzerwrecker70 Thank you, you too! I saw your second video and I sure hope you are doing much better since these videos were made. I'm sure it felt therapeutic to get all of that out in the open! I am a nurse and I always commend my patients when they open up about past traumas. It takes a lot of courage for one to do.
@@NurseNick420 You serve a great purpose here and you seem well suited for it. God's angels are surely smiling on you. This surely has been beneficial for my piece of mind. Hopefully for other as well.
Thankyou for sharing yr experience 🥰 glad your here!
Your story is so wonderful, you will help so many with your experience. You are a great guy I love your personality and appreciate you taking the time to relive the darkness so that we can witness your light!
you are just the greatest guy in my opinion and there aren't a lot of them out there and may GOD BLESS YOU AND PROTECT YOU ALWAYS
Wow, and thanks so much for your kindness, Diane! I wish the people who directly surround me felt the same way for me. Feeling little more then coldness since i moved to Maine. But i love the land so. May God bless you deeply always. 😘
I was hugely into DSBM music. As soon as I started watching I felt like you and I had some similarities. I'm only 13 minutes in to your video and I love it. God bless you brother.
Thank you and God bless you as well ,Bro. I still like the music and even write my own. Seek GraveSideService on here. My band. Metal brothers unite!
This is the video I was looking for!I want to hear more of your paranormal stories!
Thanks my friend. I may be filming something special tmrw morning and posting soon after. I have slowed down a bit with the Maine weather slowing me down. Thank you much for you support and God bless you ,my friend.
@@rayzerwrecker70 God bless.Yeah I wanna hear more about the hauntings and stuff.
Thank you for sharing ❤ I needed to hear this
Unfortunately we have to live through life we can't take our life , I suffer with some bad depression myself brother , thx for your testimony it takes courage , God bless you.
Wild story. Great music in the background by the way. Those dark figures from your early years could been from sleep paralysis or hypnagogia. You’re a creative and probably more connected to your unconscious mind and shadow self. The unconscious holds psychic/spirit phenomena not easy to deal with if it bleeds through.
All light comes from dark. Glad you’re alive with the rest of us weirdos. Bless
Oh you are so funny and right on the mark. So blessed to discover colorful people in God's favor 🙏 here online through this msg. . Anyone who would like to be friends can find me as Raynard Hannah on f.b..God bless the wierdo's!
I appreciate you so much thanks for being you and telling your story
Thanks for sharing it helps us to learn a lot of what we don't know so thank you
You are very welcome. Thanks for the kind words and God bless you.
First thoughts of this was at 9, seemed like a relief to know we can check out whenever we want.
I see the sadness in your eyes but your soul is beautiful 🙌🏻 🕊♥️
For you to see this, you must be such a lovely soul aswell. Be blessed 🙌 ✨ 🙏 💖
@@rayzerwrecker70 looking for the good is the only way through our darkness, and every speck of light no matter how small is hope 🕊 stay blessed 🙏🏻♥️🥰
My former fiance shot himself in the head soon after we broke up. He said to me that he would kill himself if I left him. He shot himself with a shotgun 2 months later. It was a life altering experience. He struggled with depression all his life. I think of him and pray that he's in a good place, that he's happy, and at peace. This was in 2007.
Thank you so much for recording this video🤗
No one should have to die with Gary Nueman as their exit music. Thats why I was saved. Lol. Kidding. Thanks for your kind support. May God bless 🙏 you.
@@rayzerwrecker70 you are hilarious my friend 😂 I was kinda wondering why you picked that 😅 May the Force be with you AND may you always KNOW IT 😀. I’m going thru a huge deal right now myself. I have a channel on YT I just started. I have been experiencing a lot of unexplained phenomena, stuff no one really believes is possible but this shit is really happening to me. I’m chronicling on my channel. I would love the opportunity to talk to you about it if you’re interested
@@iloveyou.thankyou.895 thnx bro, sorry ur going through some shit. Definitely get that shit on camera if yah can. Find me ax Raynard Hannah on F.B. to protect msg me there.
@@rayzerwrecker70 perfect thx. Just tried to friend you. My name starts with an M, and I’m female. You’ll see a lion and a cat
@@iloveyou.thankyou.895 I will look for you ,friend.
Thank you for your courage to share your life/ending and new beginning.
You have an excellent sense of humor!! Howard
Hah, thanks for saying ,Howard. I feel those who have truly known suffering tend to be the funniest people. Maybe we appreciate light hearted comedy more because we have seen the extreme opposite of it. Odd how you picked up on that in this video because I thought i was being serious and leaving out and comic relief this time. God bless you ,Sir.
You're still here brother. That only means that you have work to do before you get to go home. Then again that applies to all of us. I can somewhat relate to your suicide experience although I failed. Anyhow my learned lesson is that suicide is and should never be an option. Glad that you're still with us brother. God bless.
As I am glad you failed too ,Brother. You are a merit to many. So on shining in the light of the Lord. Many blessings to you.
This was amazing.. hope you are doing well brother...
Thank you for sharing your story.
When I’ve died in deep sleep....there is an absolutely brilliant flash of light and then an cornerless white landscape with a severe ringing in my ears (like when you shoot with no earplugs)....it freaks me out and then I awake....this has happened many times!
Keep praying to Jesus or consider him as your guide and savior and he and his angels will protect you from dark forces outside the body.
My nephew shot himself in the head and died. I miss him so much. I didn't get to know him till he was 20. We became very close. He killed himself at 24, on father's day.
So sorry to hear it. Suicides are on the rise in todays dark social climate. We as those left behind must come to terms with it and try to make this a better place worth living in. God bless you.
Sounds like what I've experienced. But you're making it interesting the way you're telling your experience. You're amazing!
How nice of you to say such a thing ,Ravin. Many thanks and may Gods rich blessing's be upon you. We all shine brightest in the light of GOD son Jesus.
Help kids, Charity and you'll give Christ no option but to prove to you he's in charge. You'll feel it as the kids smile. You easily have an eye to see God.
I am ready to contribute my services where ever they seem needed and make themselves known to me. Thank you for your kind comment. God bless you.
You ballzzzzz dude!! Glad your here God kicks ass too!!
Peace....thx for sharing....peace....
This is like a tutorial on good suicide guns. “Yeaaaah, I kind’a like a good 32 ought bolt rack jib. I feel like that would take the head right off. No fuss, no muss.”
21:52 If you mean the British singer who did 'Cars', that was Gary Numan. He came out of the punk era way back in the day. Mind you, I don't know a thing about the goth/death metal scene of the 2000s.
Yes it was G.Numan's 2013 album. He was more goth at that stage and still is.
Jeff mara brought me here! I love hearing your story
Thank you, Kali! Thank you so much. It is so therapeutic for me to tell what i know of it to others who want to know. I too love watching vids of other people NDE's. It seems most are better stories than my own. Mine is more a warning against dabbling in evil. God bless you and stay well.
My other worldly Christian Horror Metal band have just released our new EP for all to purchase on the link below. This music acts as a short concept album that speaks of the horrors i suffered around the making of earlier godless metal albums with earlier bands i fronted. Including the song "CREST FALLEN" lyrically based on my actual suicide experience. My metal band is GraveSideService based out of Rhode Island. Please support and thank you dearly. anpentaprod.bandcamp.com/album/beings-born-of-night-black-horror
I am so glad that you are with us brother. You are the lost sheep that Jesus spoke about when he left the 99. Stay strong in Christ.
Hello Jonathan, Thanks so much for visiting and sharing your kind words of love. Yes, I love this about Jesus. As for the depressing music, yes it speaks to my depression. Dark depressive music sooths the depression rather then attempting to treat it like it does not exist as we do through happy silly music. I do enjoy uplifting music as well though. God bless you richly and may you be well in all your days.
" Meet John Doe " is a good film about suicide. It was directed by Frank Capra and starred Barbara Stanwyck and Gary Cooper.
With all due respect I hope in your story you'll get straight to the point and tell the story without cutting off and on and going all in circles. I keep believing post because people constantly do this and I don't have the patience I lose track of the story when they do this. Your story sounds wonderful and I'm really interested so I'm ready to listen thank you so much for sharing
Sorry , you can skip around i dont mind. My resulting brain damage naturally effected my mental means to form recollections and coherent dialogue to express them at times. Its a struggle 😪. But still so very blessed for it. As you are somehow
.
@@rayzerwrecker70 that sounds tough. Thank you for telling experience
This man is real, God bless his heart for sharing!
Thank you, my friend and fellow journeyman in life. God bless you in your journey as well.
Bless you glad you are ok But blimmey I'm yelling at the screen please get to the nde
Is there part 2 to this i realy would like to hear it but i can not find it
Here you are. Thanks for your interest in my story. I do hope my lesson in life serves you well in some way.
czcams.com/video/RzstPwK2AIs/video.html
May God be with you. I confess: I do not understand these feelings: better to seek happiness and process rationally through these things. There’s a better way.
More to be learned about the specific suicide epidemic i am a demographic part of. Much more to learn about my death of despair and others like me. czcams.com/video/Rw1dNtDEA00/video.html
Much love
You go through so many details that don't need to be said that I was getting extremely bored.. but I wanted to hear your nde so I stayed with it. I am fascinated by the other side I know it's real and I know it's there. I have absolutely no doubts that there is a God and Jesus and our guardian angels and everything else there I know it for a fact. I don't know how I do but I have no doubts. You are a pretty good storyteller except the details of north south east or west the color of your pug and just details you take a long time to tell anything you might want to work on that mister hahaha we are what we are right and we can't change it!
Yes, well thank you for taking the time and i hope it filled the moment with a worthy take away of some sort. I can only say i must be blessed to communicate as well as i do considering a 32 caliber bullet did a Ricochet in my brain and remains lodged in their for life. Sp thank you though, that was pretty funny to read. lol. God bless and be well in all you do ,Leesa.
Ive lost my Best friend like a brother to me, and 2 of my cousins who again were like my brothers to suicide by gun.... Smh.... And I was there for obe of them when it took place.. The aftermath and pain left for those behind is worse than the death itself... Selfish..
I'm sorry for your loss, but its selfish to expect them to keep living for you despite their pain.
@@Jesamisus if you think a 15 yr old kid should blow his brains out you are the problem.
i hope you tell all of your stories. glad you have God in your heart.
Thank Doug, I tried making such a video yesterday. Instead the video went missing unexplainably. I will try to share it all as i go. God bless you kindly.
ALSO,
***CONGRATULATIONS ****
ON YOUR SALVATION!!!!!
Jesus Christ is the answer.
Yes indeed.
Yes he is!
You mean that fake God that the sheep follow?
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 the answer to a joke he ain't fixed Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit yet only cause more division
@@martymcfly6223because you don't believe , doesn't make it so. ✌❤
I discovered death and black metal when I was high on heroin. I don’t use drugs anymore but I still have the songs in my library. There was 3 songs in particular that I used to listen to on repeat. It was Lucifer by Behemoth, From the Cradle to Enslave by Cradle of Filth and Feasting on the Blood of the Insane by Six Feet Under. I get a sinking feeling of dread when these songs come on shuffle. Best believe these songs aren’t just bullshit or for entertainment purposes. Other worldly beings communicate through music. The music was my life at the time.
I hear you ,my fiend. It is an addiction i still struggle with Christian dark metal doesn't make a good substitute for me either. I am in a Christian Black Metal band. GraveSideService. I made sure we do it right. We sound scary as hell but we are actually safe to listen to. I just bought the new SixFeetUnder! lol! Behemoth are sell outs and so are Cradle.O.F. but i can stand them as i have a history with them. Nostalgia is strong in me too. God bless and keep up the fight!
Praise God!
for all of those having these same issues here is a great prayer : IN THE NAME OF GOD , I ORDER satin and his kingdome OUT OF MY HEAD , I ALSO ORDER satin OUT OF MY BODY AND OUT OF MY HOME, BE GONE NOW AND FOREVER , NEVER TO RETURN , I SAY THIS IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST . OH HEAVENLY FATHER PLEASE COVER ME IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS AND PROTECT ME AND PLEASE FILL MY HOUSE WITH YOUR JOYFUL HEAVENLY ANGELS .GLORY BE TO GOD AND THANK YOU . God gave you the authority over satin and his kingdom so use it and ORDER HIM OUT. You can also do this for addiction or pain and illness.
Peace
I’ll check on you Rayzer. I have some experience with depression myself. How are you feeling right now? Hopefully you see this comment.
Thank you, my friend. For caring. I struggle with the urge more and more lately. It's this war and all the evil in power in our government and across the world. I feel it must be the end times. So much is pointing to it. I do not want to be here for that kind of destruction. I am now the proud owner of a nitrogen tank. Looks like that may be the way I leave this troubled world. But little old ladies went out the same way. Alone. So why should I have it any better. At least its painless. I am sorry for your suffering as well ,P,Ranger. Raynard Hannah on FaceBook.
@@rayzerwrecker70 thanks for the reply my man. I heard that you grew up Catholic and then found Christ after your whole scenario. I am a practicing Muslim myself, and we too believe in Jesus, I bring this all up because we also believe in the end of times. Without a doubt we live in crazy times, but the beautiful thing about America is we can do our own thing, go about our own lives, even with all the chaos going on. We have to think and stay positive. Thanks for the honesty about the nitrogen tank man, but but let’s not use that, unless we’re doing some sort of science experiment haha. Rather tell me your interests and hobbies. I know you’re an artist and enjoy music. Sadly I’m not on Facebook but I’m looking forward to your message on here. Sorry for the long winded reply, hope to hear from you soon!
SUICIDE IS NOT COWARDLY!!!! IT TAKES BALLS! MY DAD DID IT IN 2005. He hung himself, but could have stood up at any time to save his life and did not. That takes GUTS!
OMG!!! I USED TO LISTEN TO
NINE INCH NAILS, VERY VERY LONG TIME AGO!!!!!!
so hard to peel away the heaviness.been there.
🙏
I hope you are. Better and happy
Thanks for watching. I hope you could gleam some thing positive from it. I have not found happiness yet but I trust its guaranteed in the after life through my guidance by Jesus's promise. So I find peace in that for now. God bless.
So glad Jesus found you. If certain thoughts still affect you there may be some soul ties, alters, agreements or demons that still exist and operate spiritually in your life/mind. It's your right to be free totally and completely. It will never hurt you to ask God specifically for freedom from these too.
True. I am inexplicably tied to darkness. Its a constant battle. But I keep fighting. More strength to you ,my friend
@@rayzerwrecker70 freedom is yours to walk in through the blood of Jesus and the victory he got for us. You actually need to pray to break those strongholds. There are people you can contact to pray with you that have specific ministries and annointing to send these things out of your life because it's not everyone that has the right armour to do so. The devil and his helpers seem big and scary but they are absolutely afraid if Jesus and you as his coheir walking in the truth of salvation. THIS IS FACT. Satan works on deception to keep control and that's all he has until we make it our reality. He has perfected the art of deception so much that he makes us believe in the lie that there is no escape from him and his demonic servants until heaven. There is a CZcams channel called The Supernatural Life - Daniel Adams, this man and his team go around using the power of God and the holy spirit to rid people of these spiritual tormentors, the demons even confess when commanded to speak. Check out some deliverance videos. It's so real and people are being freed in Jesus name. Daniel and his team also do one to one's so you can contact them. As much as I'm saved I still am identifying and cutting some things that attached them selves to my life (either by agreement or otherwise). They are clearly at work so the walk/ work really begins after you are saved and have accepted Jesus as your Lord and saviour it does not end with it as some may have us believe. Godly things are done in the spirit but we need to make sure what happens on earth agrees with it and that is through us. Both God and the enemy actually need us to achieve anything here on earth. Those are the rules which is why Jesus had to made flesh to accomplish what he did in this realm. You know this already, I just want you to know freedom can be yours and just because you may have dabbled in some things it's not now your life sentence to be afflicted or punished for it. We are ALL sinners. Sorry to go on and on but you must know that absolute freedom is your right. It's a practical walk. I hope to read of your new found levels of freedom here soon to the testimony of God's power.
God bless you.
@@sylviasworld9397 so true. All of what you say. I am still tormented. I will seek them out. Thank you so much ,my friend. Much love and blessings to you and yours.
@@rayzerwrecker70 Many thanks for your kind words of blessing. Your torments are the last kicks of a dying horse.
Is that surry, NH cemetery?
No ,it is Hopkinton down town cemetery.
Take care bless, from uk x
Once upon a cross is a good song lol.yea your here for a reason I think prop was you on a spiritual level missing the otherside that carried over with you in this life.
Godblessed you always 🙏🙏🙏🙏😘🤗😊❤❤❤❤❤
And God bless you richly in return ,my friend. Thank you much. May the Lord set this world right and soon.
Such a nice smile
Bless you Ray. Are you ok?
Thank you, my loving friend in life and spirit. I am not sure how well I am doing here in this life. My struggle is still with me. But it's tough all around here in what may be the END TIMES. I can only be sure I am saved and have a place prepared and reserved for me in God's house here after. See yah there, my friend! Much Love to you. Write anytime.
@@rayzerwrecker70 if you don't mind me saying, when my mind starts to think too much about sad things, I remember the scripture that says to think on things that are good and holy and uplifting. It really helps me, trying to think about the deputy around me and that I am loved by the creator of the universe. Not because I deserve it but because that is who He is. Yesterday I read psalm 50:23, he who sacrifices thankfulness honors Me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God. - so I am just trying to make that sacrifice thanking Him for all things I have and see. Today is the day the Lord has made let us be glad and rejoice in it. Ray, it does get easier when you practice it. I hate dark depression. I fight the good fight of sacrifice of worship and thankfulness. Be blessed my friend. The days are dark but we don't have to be. I'm in nh if you ever want to pray!
You seem to have a very difficult life story that would be interesting to read as a biography. I am happy that Christian life has helped you. Did you feel the love of God during your near death experience?
Greetings to you ,Ruth. Thanks for commenting. I do have enough odd ball tales to tell in an autobiography of sorts ,to be sure. But the demand is not there as of yet. Maybe there is more yet to add to the tale. To answer your question, No. I did not feel the love of God there. Where i went was devoid of all feeling. Had i gone further i am sure i would have experienced that or more likely a hellish experience, as i was a very dark and somewhat evil man at the time. I am not wasting this second chance to be the best man i can be though. In Jesus's dear sweet name. God bless you in your journey.
Thanks for responding, all the best to you.
I sure would like you to make a video about your guardian angels experiences.
@@ruthhingston6939 Great idea ,Ruth! I will do that! I have some amazing such experiences that need to be shared. That is next. Thnx! ;)
I agree. It is not cowardly to kill yourself. It takes one to the brink of anguish to act against that natural instinct of self preservation. Good you made it....It is scary how many suicides are happening.
Thnx for sharing your thoughts, Kitty. We are in dark times. I tend to think the end times by the look of it all. Just time to up the prayers and faith. God bless you.
My exiting song would be Extol's song Aperture
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s very courageous. Take care💖💖💖💖 Enjoy your life🥰🥰🥰🥰
I pray i can enjoy life again some day soon. At 50 now and not wanting to get too much older (ten yrs tops) , I dont have much more time. But i have Jesus's promise of a splendid after life. I want all the best for you and i send blessings of God's endless love your way. God bless you and yours ,Susan.
Magic mushrooms and Testoaterone replacement therapy can help with depression
That back ground music is sooo disturbing 😰🤯
They would find that a compliment. That is AMBER ASYLUM. That is the cd i shot myself while listening to it. Very sad music.
@@rayzerwrecker70 yes, I know ... because of the music I had to stop watching your film.. 😬 but I saw the beginning..
The power of God is amazing!
❤️
When I was 13, I was lying on my bed and I suddenly had a out of body experience. When it was through I said Wow! Suddenly God pulled the veil and I was allowed to see the demon behind it. Read the book, The Beautiful Side of Evil. I highly recommend it!
Not sure what you are saying here. Are you encouraging people to accept demons as something that can be a good thing? There is no way.
@@rayzerwrecker70 No, demons can deceive even with beauty. I was allowed to see the demon who had been behind my vision. I am a born again Christian now. The book I recommend is true written by a woman who was heavily involved in the occult. She is now a Christian.
Very good. Now i know what the point is that you are making. I am fully in agreement with you. Sounds like a good book. God bless you.
Not far from Nashua. I’d be interested in talking to you about your abilities
I have them
Very nice. I am living in Maine now and love it so much. I would love to speak with you. Find me on Facebook as Raynard Hannah. Hope to see you there, my friend
great story, hate the music though.
I love ya Ray
I was pronounced DOA ( NOT a NDE.) at a medical center in 1973... No further attempt was made to resuscitate me... More than half an hour passed, and then my Heart started to beat again... During that half hour, I discovered the DIFFERENCE, between the human body, and "LIFE The Real Self"... I found that this universe including the human body, to be just a 'STORY', presented in the form of a 'Holographic Simulation', in a Display Register, of "The Processing System of LIFE", where "LIFE The Real Self", ( An Offspring of The LIGHT ) is the OBSERVER.
Ayyy I see you know Glenn Benon! I jokingly say "Blame it on Glenn" instead of blame it on God
Thank you for sharing i feel realy bad right now got some bad thoughts dont want to go in to details pray for me so jesus shows me the way much love to each and every one of you
God bless you,E.Z.. I am sorry for your suffering. Far too many of us are suffering this way these days. Its the way of the world today. I just prayed for you but you need to do the work to live too. May you find the strength and reason to live on and fulfill your souls goals in life. Be well as best you can.
@@rayzerwrecker70 thanks for the prayer rayzer i will need all i can get hope jesus can help me and ahow me the way on my path since at this moment i truly feel lost and so empty guess its a very hard road ahead of me may god give you everthing you ask of him rayzer you are realy good human being which is rare this days may jesus blles you.
I’ve got mine ready to go!
Hello ,my friend. It is best for you to exhaust every other possible option before considering the gun. The spiritual cost can be great if it is not meant to be. Most often suicide is not the proper way to go. I am glad to speak with you if you simply need a friend who truly understands. E-mail me if you care to talk about your troubles. You are not alone.
ISITMYBODY@HOTMAIL.COM Sending love and prayer.
@@rayzerwrecker70 trust me I know. I’m out of every other option. My situation is bc permanently unavoidable and horrible. I’m much better off going back. I hope My consciousness can remember to never come back to this hellhole. I’m unsaveable. Nobody here for me. Not even allowed to have a bathroom break at work. Bladder disease and pain. 100k debt. Anxiety. Depression. Bipolar. Anxiety. Can’t get meds bc went to jail for a panic attack in June and b lost teaching career of 2 decades. Want me to go on ? I don’t want to bc it’s depressing for you at this point. I’m working with Hecate rn and she’s putting me through the spiritual ringer. We’ll see how I come out. Worst case-I go back and reunite with my dead parents! It’s so lonely here. My soul tribe seems to be hidden. I put out beacons but they r still hidden. So lonely.
@@rayzerwrecker70 it is a bit comical that I found ur vid looking up the angle for a .32. My .45 is too heavy bc I have been unable to eat much for a year bc I lost mom to cancer and my family hid it from me until it was too late. No hug. No kiss. No goodbye. They all got the chance but I did not. The .45 kicks too hard and a flinch would make one more thing another failure. I only have a sweet .44 with a hunting scope on it and a beautiful.45. I had to use the .32. I did not want to flinch so I looked and found you. I’m not dead yet, so-Maybe just another mindfuck by spirit?! I’m so confused at this point. Ordered a 106 shotgun with my last $250. Pickup Monday. I’m not sticking around for another holiday with no family no friends no money no joy no food no sleep no meds nothing except my tears. Right before my dad hung hi self in 05, I gave him the green light bc I know how mental illness feels and b loved b him enough to kiss him goodbye and let him go. I need everyone else to please give me that ya Know. I would like to hear about the spiritual attacks/cool shit that has happened to u. I live for spiritual stuff. “Goog or bad”
@@Bornless666 My friend. I hate to agree with you. But I may have to. I would end it all prior to my destiny death over less reason to grieve than what you face. I do believe a rare amount of spiritual paths actually have suicide written into it. Making it destiny. But very rare. I hope it was meant for you if you go through with it. But not encouraging you. I believe these are the very END TIMES anyway. I doubt this winter will go by without millions dying anyway. Just accept Jesus Christ into your life beforehand. Apologies, forgive, and hope for the best outcome thereafter. Write anytime. God bless you.
MAY I SAY THO WITH MUCH RESPECT!!!?!
BUT YOU SHOULD FIND A MORE BRIGHTER PLACE TO HANG OUT ,ID BR AFRAID IT MIGHT BRING ON THE DEPRESSION AGAIN .CEMETERIES ARE NOT FUN,NOR A "BRIGHT" PLACE TO BE,ITS FOR THE DEAD (no disrespect at all!!!!!!)
Maybe TRY HANGING OUT AT beach ,and ,listening to that music might put you back in that state of mine,
I'm just so glad your here my friend!!!!!!!
Thankyou for your testimony!!!!!!!!!
My soul prefers dark moody music and environments. Just not evil ones. The difference is there.
You should speak out more giving the world your testimony, I believe perhaps you can save a lot of lives and lost souls.
Where is the nde ?
Part two. Its a long story. There is a link on the video and pg..
@@rayzerwrecker70 Thanks. I'll check it out. czcams.com/video/pN01qZCIFOM/video.html Please watch at 54:25
@@innerstar6569 Thanks I.L. Thats a great informative video that i agree with much.
hey inner light, we were taken for a ride on this one friend 🤦 Hope you are well. 🙏💙