Autism ended our relationship
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- čas přidán 26. 10. 2019
- In this week's video, we talk about how Dylan's diagnosis of Autism affected our relationship and the many things we learned about ourselves and each other through this journey. Also, how we finally got back together!
We hope that this can help families out there in some way xx
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Social media:
Instagram - / taraleniston
Facebook - / cominghometoautism
Website - cominghometoautism.com/
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Video Producer:
Tiara Westlake www.kamukami.com/
Music by
Simon Cade
SOLO ACOUSTIC GUITAR by
Jason Shaw goo.gl/HiccEi
Promoted by MrSnooze • Acoustic Guitar Instru...
Creative Commons - CC BY 3.0 goo.gl/A7jRXA
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high functioning autism, autism and marriage breakdown, Aspergers marriage therapy, Aspergers spouse anxiety, codependency and autism, Aspergers feeling empty, Asperger partner, neurotypical and Aspergers, Asperger partner support group, dating a man with mild Aspergers, Aspergers attachment to mother, success stories Asperger's syndrome, parenting adults with autism, autism effects on relationships, autistic adults friendships, autism and marriage patterns,
My son has autism and he was nonverbal until about 4 yrs old and didn't get fully potty trained until 5yrs old.I sent him to therapy for speech and occupational therapy and it helped I cried and I prayed alot and now he is almost 8 and I cant get him to stop taking,its a all day long thing but I love it.Dont give up hope God works miracles and my son is living proof of that. He functions good with kids now but at first he wouldn't pay them any mind and wouldn't make eye contact but he is doing it now to God be the Glory.hang in there things will get better,take baby steps and enjoy the small moments.
This comment brought me to tears. God bless u
Thank you
You give me hope
@@donttrip2599 yes there is always hope. I developed a closer relationship with God in that time and spent many days crying and praying and asking for help and God showed up and showed out. Hang in there.
❤️🙇🏻♀️ Amén
My son was diagnosed at age 3. He is an Aspect and high functioning. The older my son became, the less the symptoms became due to early intervention. He is now 25 years old. He is living at home. He went to college for 2 years . He had a 3.4 average but could not handle the social aspect of college. He is currently learning to drive, we found a company that works with individuals that need extra help. He hopes to find a job. It has been a long hard journey. Blessings to all who have children that have different needs.❤
Hope he loves to drive !!
Beautiful 😍 gives me hope my son high function he is 5
Thank you for the hope you gave me. My husband and I just adopted my daughters son , now mine and we are just finding out that he has autism. He will be 3 in April, and I'm terrified. So thank you again.
@@tenanichols8021 interesting story, wish you the best
whatchumean he a aspect?
My son is now 24. He is severely autistic and is about 2 years old mentally. He will never be independent. He will never have a partner or children. His quality of life is practically nonexistent. He can't be alone for a minute. He has no interests or hobbies...no attention span. It us a nightmare to try to spend time with him because he has mania in addition to autism, so he can become aggressive. He spreads poop at night. What I'm trying to say is that it is incredibly hard. People without a child affected with severe autism can understand how hard this is.
My ex husband and I did divorce. He now has full custody of my son because I cannot physically manage him. Autism affects the ENTIRE family and most families don't survive it. I'm so impressed by this beautiful family. They are just so loving and dedicated. God bless you!
Heart breaking, there needs to be support for families. I don’t think most people are equipped to handle this. I’m so sorry your going through this.
Donna: My heart goes out to you! Your situation is so unique and people need to know the consequences of this level of autism.
Your story is important to know and while you might be sensitive about what happened, parents of autistic children need to know your story to be able to understand the possible dimensions of extreme autism.
God bless you and your family and know that understanding your story is important to know if you have an autistic child.
Unfortunately a lot of the wider society, even autistic people themselves, don’t often talk about or relate to or even recognise that there are severely autistic children or adults. All the best to you and your family
24 is a good age to do a relinquishment if your hubby needs to. I've worked in disabs all my life and was a coordinator so i used to manage people moving from home to care. Many people leave their child at a respite and disappear for a couple of months so the govt has to listen and get them a room. sad but true. (Australia) I have known one Mum to come back and get her child years later and they are happy at home now. You really need the help of proffs who have round the clock shifts. You need to go home at the end of the shift, not just keep going. Sorry for your ongoing grief. People who shot down how hard it is are very disappointing.
I'm sorry, I also suffer from autism and it stopped me being independent or having any kind of fulfilling life. Worst is that there are parents out there claiming that autism is "positive" and needs to be celebrated. Bull fucking shit.
My ASD son is almost 29 years old and I still struggle with the situation, I'm still grieving the son that I dreamed of having. Don't get me wrong, I love my son and I'm very protective of him, I have given up on my own dreams and goals just to fully dedicate my life to him. But in some situations such as mine (with absolutely no support from anyone), a grieving heart will never, never heal. We learn to accept and embrace what has been given to us, but still, we are living a life we did not expect to live.
My boy is a bit younger but I can so relate and feel every word you wrote! Sad😢
I completely understand. I am autistic myself and hate it. I would be endlessly dissapointed, if my child was heavily autistic too.
I completely understand. I was like her. My wife was like him. I took it out on her because I saw it as unfit care to not address the autism and therapy. I made the mistake of putting my son above my wife. It's still a journey but we're together and love one another. My wife is now my priority and as she became more capable, my son received the benefits. I came to realize that my wife is my son's biggest supporter, caretaker, and champion and I have to be hers in order for her to fulfill those roles.
love this thank you for sharing x
That is a beautiful realization!
Keep up the good work both of you
Oh your comment made me cry , beautiful person you are.
God bless . Never give up
My 11 year old son is nonverbal. Haven't seen or heard from his father is 7 years. When my son was 4, his father told me that he wasn't going to come around or "help" anymore until my son was potty trained and talking. Better that he is gone. No one needs that shittines around them.
You are a brave woman gbu
@@peaceseeker3907 ❤️
what an amazing mum you are, your right no one needs negativity around them.big love to you x
@@ComingHometoAutism Thank you. You too ❤️☺️
My question to you, did he get vaccinated or a shot after born???
I started crying 10 seconds before Andrew started crying. I can't imagine what he was going through. I started teaching children with autism this year, and I have learned so much from your channel.
Amanda Ramaesela Thulisile Oh thank you for your sweet comment as I was so motional and hard to talk about x
What have you learned??
Autism parents here. We can feel every single word you guys said. We still disagree with each other on things but we are getting better on listening and understanding. The best thing we can give to our kids is “mommy and daddy love each other”.
My son was diagnosed with autism when he was 2.5 y.o., at the time 1995/96 there were no internet, so little resources. We made friends with the occupational therapist, psychologist, physiotherapist etc, got some photocopied reading materials, and got to work. We worked very hard everyday with earning a living and giving him all the support he needed. In short, he was able "recover" from a lot of the traits and long story short he graduated with a 2nd class honours degree in International Affairs and is working as a writer today. He is 27 this year. Everyday I keep my fingers crossed but so far we have allowed a lot of his own space. Today I have switched my own job from engineering to working with the special needs. The journey is very fulfilling.
KEPLER go easy - don’t judge - we’re all parents and we’re all learning together. Peace out ✌🏽
thank you for your reply. i have removed the last comment i dont want any judgemnt here its all about support and understanding here. x
Autism isn't a disease. Your child dosen' have to recover from anything.
@@shabnamrafique3638 Yea, they don't need to recover when they are level 2 or 3 ASD, meaning they need to live in a living facility for the rest of their lives so they don't die.
I used to wish so desperately to never get a child with a disability. Everyone around me acted like it is the worst thing that could ever happen to you. Today I know quite a lot of people with a disability. They certainly struggle with some things, but they can do other things, or do it in a different way. And most of them are happy. We tend to measure happiness with success, with wether or not you find a partner but my autistic aunt is very happy with making candles every day. Now I wish to have a happy child.
you are so sweet. I'm an Autistic aunt, I hope there are more loving and understanding people like you:)
Myself and my wife as of today are about to spend the weekdays apart and swap at the weekends. By watching this video, this is exactly the same in our life. I have just recently been diagnosed with ADHD and have struggled the whole time with my boy who is an ASD. We have grown apart and I am struggling with this and then came Covid-19 , being in Melbourne/Au with all the lockdowns has broken me. I hopefully can pull through like you have and get my family back together. Really great video.
Struggling dad
Please hang in there 🙏🏽
🫂
I hope you managed well ❤
How did everything wind up?
So raw, open and honest. What great parents!
thank you so much , wasnt easy to film . Andrew was not comfortable at all but i am pleased he did it so others can relate x
Coming Home to Autism
Wow he did remarkably well in this video for not being comfortable! Thank you guys for making this video. My 2 year old is autistic and it has been rough on our marriage at times. We're both still getting used to this new reality.
@@isabellehaythorne1426 BAM! There it is
@@isabellehaythorne1426 did you watch the video? The whole thing? It says autism didn’t break us up and in fact the video is titled that to show people this is not the case. It’s to try to educate that it’s not a diagnosis it’s the people . In fact dylan kept us together he made us better people .
@@JAPelicano1 you obviously didn’t watch the whole video did you? How we say categorically it was not the autism it was nothing in fact dylan, kept us together he has made us better people.
Thank you so much for putting this out there! I needed this...your situation was my situation and our relationship was not able to be saved so thank you for understanding that not all can be saved but this gave me that finally someone else understands what my life was like...is like. For a small moment I was not alone.
I just got this on my feed and what a wonderful blessing. Grateful for this realness in their journey as parents . This is so common struggle for many parents with ASD.
Bless you for your story and raw honesty and bless every parent who gets up every single day to love and get through the next day.
You guys made me cry. Thank you thank you for being so honest and teach us about the power of love. Now I understand more my cousin who is a single mom with an Autistic child. Hugs and blessings for your family 🙏🙏❤️
I cried so hard watching this. What wonderful people these two are. Each so valid in their feelings. What a difficult situation. I have to admit this is why I have decided to not have children. I’m aware of my own weaknesses…I don’t think I could handle it. I’m so impressed by her ability to be strong for her family and see her own areas of growth. God bless this family ❤️🙏🏽
I respect this family more than words can say! I wish more people could be more honest and selfless like these folks! I pray that they will be able to minister to many who aren’t able to process their feelings and struggles in detail they way these two have.
Thank you for being so honest and open. You two are fantastic parents and ALL your kids seem very happy and amazing. You see them. You see their true spirits. I am learning so much from the channel, and BOTH of you. I'm glad your relationship made it through all the stress after all.xoxo
I'm a single mom of a 3 year old and I have no support and people don't understand how hard it is going it alone but I'm absolutely so proud of my child for how far he's come. Having someone, even if its a complete stranger, means a lot, thank you for understanding! Its wonderful to see such great co parenting.
I wish you had support. I note you wrote this 6 months ago, hope all is well.🧚♂️☘🇮🇪
@@finolaomurchu8217 no i dont have support. Thank you for your concern.
I can’t express how much I appreciate the rawness and full transparency of this video, I could imagine it wasn’t easy. It seems both my husband and I mirror your EXACT experiences which reminds us we are not alone. I am so happy to see you both growing strong and continuing to help each other through the hardships. I have now subscribed to your channel as you are the first CZcamsrs I have related to so deeply, so thank you both! 🙏🏾🧡
Being an ASD mom myself you have truly spoken to me and how I am feeling. Thank you for being so open and being so strong. Autism is hard but we consider our sons autism his super power. Takes soooo much work to quit being negative and blaming yourselves. We are still in the early stages but trying to stay happy and positive. Your videos are such a huge support for me. Thank you!!!
How the human life can be so harsh, painful and difficult, but yet also so fragile, joyful and beautiful.
Thank you so much for sharing, being real and honest, it is such a blessing and so very very helpful.
You are both admirable in your self-awareness, honesty, and humility. I think you provide a really valuable video for any couple facing big challenges. Thank you for posting and for sharing some of your hard work. This is beautifully done.
My heart is with you. Thank you both for sharing such a private moment. It truly shows what amazing Parents you are again at raw your emotions are!
You can't know how happy it made me to hear that you got back together and that it worked out for you! I am always deeply saddened when I hear that a couple has split for whatever reason when they have kids together and seeing you both in love again and being willing to work on yourselves and your relationship, knowing that your children will grow up in a home where they are loved and have stability in their relationship with their family, is so incredibly beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Incredible vulnerability. These stories need to be heard. Thank you!
You both have evolved so much, and you both seem so understanding of each other, that I hope you 2 can get back together at some point.
Thank you for being so candid. Much of what you both have said I see in our life and relationship.
sending you a big hug x
Beautiful. Heartfelt. Honest raw footage of your private family life. This will help all families with many different parenting challenges- not exclusively Autism. Hats off to you for sharing this. So delighted you found each other again. It made me smile with joy.
Thank you for being so honest and transparent. 🙏🏽
Thank you, your story gives me hope in the midst of my heartbreak. Thank you for your beautiful message. It’ll all be okay God willing.
This was incredible. Thank you so much for sharing. Praying that you continue to love and lean on each other above all else🙏🏾
Ndidi1st ✨ thank you so much
Ohhh you two are just so beautiful! So young with so much knowledge and learning and growing. Keep up the love, all of your kids are so lucky to have you as their parents. xx.
I was so emotional watching this video. Honestly, I cried. You are both inspirations. You are both amazing parents, especially you, the mother.
This is so honest. The rawness and vulnerability is so real and heavy but at the same time feels like huge weight lifted. Thank you all for doing this and being one hundred percent real and open. 🙏🙌💙
You're so welcome!
I cried several times throughout the telling of this story. I'm so soooo happy that their story has a happy ending. I really like the raw honesty about the status of their relationship and that the 2 were able to recognize that time apart would be good for them and hopefully moving forward they would have the tools to prevent the path to resentment. I don't have a child with autism but this retelling of their family's story helped me get a better understanding and I can completely relate to particular issues discussed for example the constant bickering about who's life is harder and how it's easy to get stuck in that cycle. It's a good reminder to break that cycle by recognizing your spouses equally important role in the family.
Thank you so much x
Heart felt thought on everything, it is nice to come to terms with your partner. I have been lucky to know someone who made it and won't give up. Great job, you are good parents.
Your story reminders me how my husband was badly treated but I was healed with my anger and my husband is most loved, valued and cherished now.
Really great video. I admire your honesty and openness to sharing your struggle with others. I am glad the relationship has survived and appreciate the fact that you are still supporting those parents who don’t have that partner support.
thank you so much xox
What a lovely episode as is all of the others.....Thank you both for sharing your stories, I can understand how hard and challenging it has been for you both and am so happy you came through it and are now married ! You have a beautiful happy family and sharing your journey will most certainly help others .X
thank you so much lisa xix
Balling!!Thankyou for sharing that very intimate conversation, I'm very sure it will inspire many parents to look at themselves and reevaluate there relationships, we should all be treating our spouses as our best friends,and team work makes the dream work when it comes to raising our children, especially with additional needs,we cant do it alone x
thank you , poor andrew felt very uncomfortable but we felt it was important also. oxox
I love how honest and raw this is. You guys are amazing parents. Dylan is so very lucky.
thank you so much
Thank you so much for this no filter, say it like it is! I had tears streaming down my face as I watched this. I am a primary caregiver to a 3 year old non-verbal autistic granddaughter and I am struggling. I am so angry she has it, questioning how she got it(as no one in the family has ASD), questioning did we do something wrong, angry with my daughter who had her at 18 years old. I’m in the thick of it right now and everything you guys went through in the early years I’m in right now. Saying all that, what I can say with every frustration, every tear shed at the end of the day she is a precious soul and I love her more than life it’s self. Thank you for making me feel not alone with my feelings as I walk through this journey. So happy your family is whole again. ❤️
oh love wish i could give you a big hug. .it will get easier x
Coming Home to Autism awww thank you. ❤️.
Thank you for your true honesty. It’s what I needed to hear and that the feelings I have inside are normal and that I’m not alone Xxoo
Thank you for doing this video. It’s is just what our family needed to hear right now. 🙏
Wow. I fell upon your channel yesterday then hesitated before I watched this video because I didn't know there was a happy ending. Thank you! My husband and I have a 6 year old daughter with autism who was diagnosed about 18 months ago. We are in survival mode and have seriously been going through exactly what you both were talking about. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I get so frustrated with him and what I think is his denial. I'm in an autism bubble desperately clawing at anything to give my daughter a calm secure environment.
Watching this video helped me see my husbands side. I do need to let him in and to stop telling him what he's doing wrong (from my point of view). We also have a younger child to give our daughter a close sibling and yes, it was the best thing we ever did as well.
I'm so glad to have found your channel. I'm looking forward to watching more to find encouragement in this somewhat lonely journey.
thank you so much for sharing. i am so pleased that my video has helped even just a little x
So happy for you. Great parents you will get through ❤️
Yes it can happen....my husband and I broken up twice.... he's 17 yrs now.... our son....has taught us.... to be humble......our family still together.....
Thank you so much for sharing. I too can relate with your story. My son has Autism & is turning 5 very soon. About two months ago my wife & I were even considering seperation as well, but with communication & lot's of praying we are still together. Some day's harder than other's but we try to understand one another. Communication is key. May GOD keep on Blessing you & your beautiful family.
Guys thank you for this , i seeeriously needed this video, seeing your beautiful family learn and understand and grow has helped clear my head and make room for changes ... I wish your family all the best and thank you !!!!!
So great to hear parents opening up about this! I am in the process of earning my BCBA and it is so wonderful to hear your perspective. I want to understand what the parents are going through. Thinking of you both today
thank you for taking the time to comment
Thank you for taking interest to help other children and families. ❤
Oh my goodness!! I can relate with your story because I have felt exactly the way you both felt. I rejected the fact that my daughter had autism, I felt I was the only one that could look after her, I was ashamed to let people know I have a special needs child and that sent me to being depressed and actually felt like taking my life. Until I accepted my inadequacy and sought help, it was difficult to cope. It affected my relationship too and my husband left. I was called a witch that I was the one that put a spell on my child. It’s more difficult accepting autism withIn the black African community. I am now sharing my journey on CZcams channel just like you guys but trying to help remove the stigma within the African community and trying to help BAME members. Thank you guys.
Lady EstHer Jay thank you for sharing your story . I have heard it’s so hard if I can help in anyway please do let me know x
Coming Home to Autism I am just happy you’re sharing your experiences with us all and it feels to me we are all in it together. Thank you guys.
Bless you sister. I would like to follow you on CZcams because I support anyone who tries to remove the stigma
@@ladyestherjay may Gods favor always be upon you and your family.
@jennifer Auld amen. Thank you so much!
Praying for your success in maintaining this beautiful friendship, can only imagine the love you both have for your children.
Thank you for sharing your story! My son was diagnosed August 23 2018. I can relate to you Tara....I feel as if I am putting me and my son in a bubble. Your video was extremely encouraging and I just sent my husband your CZcams channel so he can also listen in himself. Great insight and I am so thankful for people like you and your husband who are vulnerable enough to share your story to help others! I can guarantee you these videos will.
thank you so much. it helps when you realize that your not the only one doing this or husband isnt the only one not dealing with it. by being open and honest and having a community it helps us all feel connected x
Thank you so much for your candidness. This is so difficult but also helpful to watch. I was married to an undiagnosed individual. I raised my son who is on the spectrum. Now independent and living on his own. Very proud of him.
I truly feel your struggles.
I also divorced and can relate to what you have described relationally.
God Bless and keep you both and your children always.
Anita Chakravorty thank you so much my friend x
We were so close to separating, but we didn't. I thought my autistic twins did get us closer to each other as much as they drove us apart. We are Muslims and I was also angry even though i would hide it, It could have been easier if everyone was aware but i was judged alot and heard a lot as what I have to do to make thier autism go away. If my husband wasn't stronger than me in dealing with this and even protecting me from verbal attacks from people who wasn't autism aware i don't know what would i have done. I can say we are together because after God my husband kept us together at a time I was giving up. We are in a good place now.
I have three autistic kids. All of them are totally poles apart, youngest is non verbal. It has strained our marriage and lack of family support almost got us separated. Asian culture needs a great understanding to include special needs children/individuals within the society. I am so glad that many of us has stayed together and toggled along the beautiful challenge.
Autism isn't understood in our community due to lack of knowledge. We definitely need to educate those who dont know of or understand that autism exists
Alhamdulillah, keep going the more love and patience you show the more rewards you will get Insha ALLAH. Ignore these so called professionals and ignorant people; they don't have a clue. They've actually contributed to the ignorance and stigma around Autism.
So beautiful raw honest and extremely helpful to me thank you for sharing it’s helping me make sense of the last 11 years. My love and laughter to you all such a wonderful wee family xx
Omg yessss!!! Watching this makes me cry because this is what I’m recently going through but this video gives me hope that things will get better 🙏🏻 my husband was in disbelief when I would tell him I felt something was wrong with my baby, I was called crazy and even though it took me a while to get my son help I’m glad I followed my instincts❤️ thank you for sharing!
3 Years on and still getting comments. You guys have done a fantastic job bringing so much to light,. I am a father of a beautiful 3 year old girl with autism. Loving her quirkiness has never been an issue for me. The reason for that is because of my older brother who sadly passed 6 years ago. He had severe ADHD among many many other troubles in life. However, because I grew up with his quirkiness I was given the blessing of not feeling the need to fit in. He taught me so much about how to see past social pressures by being himself entirely. I took so much of that to heart and when my daughter came I knew my brother's sacrifice of having a tough life would not go to waste. I was able to put aside judgements with ease. I know it can be hard, but I truly think as soon as you can get rid of that box that we "should" all fit in, things get a lot easier and even enjoyable. Autism is simply another way to live. And in the words of Temple Grandin's mother, Eustacia Cutler, "different, not less".
My daughter was diagnosed with high-functioning autism (Asperger’s) when she was 8 years old. I always knew she was quirky, but it didn’t occur to me that anything was “off” because she’s really intelligent, artistic, and a straight A student. She struggles socially, though.
It’s very common that girls get left behind with the diagnosis because they can mask it! They struggle though and need support too. So I’m happy that you got your diagnosis that can help her understand also x
Same with my daughter.
She is now self diagnosed at age 45.
I am sad that I was not educated about autism when she was young.
I really struggle trying to figure out how to help her with social skills because she tells me she doesn’t want friends. I don’t want to force her to be someone she isn’t and I don’t want her to miss out on the joys of friendship and to spend her life in loneliness.
@@ComingHometoAutism Not to dismiss the female autism issue that is highly topical, and very important, but as a very late diagnosis male, I am an example how males who do not fit the stereotype, can also go under the radar. The issue is that the late issue of female diagnosis (usually late), isn't considered as a possible indicator of missed diagnosis at large.
I got diagnosed at age 2.
I love this so much. So real and honest . I think a lot of us can relate to so much of your story. 💙
New generations often challenge the older generations. I love that. It makes for bigger love. More unconditional. Great journey you are on together as a family. It's a journey of the heart for sure :)
I love that mum understood early on that communication is not necessarily about words. Communicating through feeling is such a wonderful way.
As a mother of a 9 year old with autism I am thankful for this video. 🙏🏽 at this point we are working with our son and trying help him to make friends.
You all are doing it… REAL. Most couples don’t. Thank you and Bless you.
Do you know how beautiful and special you both are?
Your honesty and willingness to look at yourselves under your circumstances for not only your marriage but your family is beyond huge. I am humbled and fortified by your story. Thank you from the bottom of my soul.
Thank you so much for your beautiful message it really means a lot
Brilliant work friends! I came across your "page" while seeking current information on traveling with an autistic person. My wife and I are the parents of 2 children, our son Max who today is 33 years old, is a Lawyer (JD/MBA) and a significant overachiever, and our autistic daughter Katie who is 31 and who lives with us. After watching a few of your episodes I have no fewer than a million things I would like to share, but suffice it to say I think you all are doing great work yourselves, with your children, and are very brave for sharing all of this here. My wife and I navigated the autism diagnosis of Katie with relative ease, and I say that as we had the incredible resource of the Mayo Clinic where Sue treated patients for the last 42 years. We live in a neighborhood with many of the leadership of the Mayo organization, and our friends, and neighbors, participated in our 31 year journey with Katie. I was involved in a family business, and once Katie was diagnosed I stepped away from the family enterprise and stayed home with Katie full time. We navigated school and then life after school, and today I can say that we have been met with incredible great success. Katie is a well adjusted person, a delightful young person, a great dinner guest, and is happy and healthy. We have been just about everywhere your videos go, and I have a strong feeling that you will ultimately have significant success as well. We have had all the ups and downs that come with "normal" family life, and even more so when a child in the mix has "special needs". I would love to write you privately and share some of the specifics of our journey, and also to wish you well and our help (if you might be interested in older parents who have been down the road you are currently on). All the Best! Keep these wonderful videos coming - you are on a great ride, and from this side of the screen it seems you are doing very well!
Been married 31 years 3 kids on spectrum. Our oldest son diagnosed 4 yrs old then our 4th child at 5 years old then our baby boy at 3 years old. Hubby and I haven't always seen eye to eye on handling meltdowns. But I know because of our strong faith and trust in God it makes our relationship work. I thank God for my husband he's amazing and it took me to learn to listen to him and understand he's hurt also. He would always assure me and say your not in this alone. I'm here in this fight with you. I had to learn to let him be dad. Let him get his experience let him see that I appreciate his advice. Just like I was learning he has to also. I can't do this alone.
This both terrified and enlightened me, but its the honest reality of what may be in store for me. Your pain is valuable, and I appreciate you recognizing that and sharing with the world.
Thank you my friend x
Thankyou from a childcare worker who sees this denial up close and personal. I'm done in as a result of feeling used and dismissed but have a new perspective. Keep trying everyone.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. We can relate with much of what you’ve experienced in how one of our children’s unique needs have impacted our relationship and the ways we’ve both experienced and viewed their needs. Even just hearing that other couples have dealt with the same and come through to the other side is so uplifting. Thank you.
This is so honest. My respect for both of you.
Thank you so much for opening up about your history and how you have overcome these struggles! It deifnitely hits close to home and I need to actively communicate more with my partner
Otterly in Love thanks for commenting . Honestly communication and taking the time to listen really listen helped us massively x
So impressed with how honest both of you are, sharing the hard feelings and truth. Shows how loving you are. ❤️
thank you xox
I appreciate your time and honesty and love so much. Just getting started with our own journey. My son is two. And I truly aspire to be ❤️
Wow, absolutely amazing story and highly insightful! Much respect and thank you so much for sharing
Kent VanderVelden thank you so much x
This was my inaugural video into your story and autism journey. My wife shared it days after we received our son's initial assessment (the second, and thus confirmatory one, came a week later). It was timely -- that could have been part of our story. It was also a turning point in our marriage -- it help us tell each other, we want to help our son together.
This makes me so happy x
Wow so much respect for you both, such a inspirational video, thanks for sharing xx Dylan is so adorable.
Your honesty touches my heart.
I was also told I was a terrible parent. I actually got told to use a sticker chart, as if I had t tried everything before we got a diagnosis for our daughter. I am very blessed that my husband and I have survived this journey together. It is such a difficult road that there is no map for that I will never judge another situation. I applaud you for showing us your tears! I feel you in a deep way! God bless you all!
sending you a big hug x your amazing dont forget it x
Beautiful, wow. Thank you, was well worth watching. Honest, transparent, articulate.
isolde Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and for leaving such a lovely comment at that x
Thanks a lot for sharing your story , absorbed some valuable suggestions to implement, loads of love and wishes to your family.
Well done, Team!...Hats off to you both for becoming adults together thru some pretty tough times!!...👏👏💓
Thank you both for such a raw and real look into what a marriage goes through when dealing with autism. My son is 2 and in early intervention. This has definitely put a strain our marriage. Much like yourself I tend to push my husband away and take on everything myself. I finally had to let my husband take on some responsibility and help more. I have him be involved more with sessions so he can feel like he has a role in helping our son. Thank you for sharing your experiences and helping spread awareness to so many families going through similar situtions.
Ashleigh Huerta hey there that’s great your letting your husband take on more responsibility as it will also take some of the pressure of you hugs x
Thank you for sharing your story with us. The autism journey could be quite difficult and it can affect relationships. Our son is 12 now and has ASD and we both for the most part do really good team work and support and encourage each other during difficult parenting situations with him. I’m glad you and your husband worked it out. 😄❤️
thank you xox
So happy you are together as a family! You have done a wonderful job and may you always keep loving each other!
Thank you
This was so perfect really helped me understand what my sons father felt and why things went the way they went this is powerful of both of you I appreciate your videos alot being a autism mom is so overwhelming i cant stop trying to understand more 😞
Thankyou.Im great Grandma .It was a beautiful video,and it made me cry .My great granddaughter has autism. What a shock to us all.Will I ever be able to understand. I'm an old lady,had life very very hard ,but to tell you the truth is don't think I will ever ever ever understand. I read books,I have a very open mind.but to see my grandsons face and how he deals with it is amazing when he is with his child.This is the sad part for me even though my mind is open,I am embarrassed angry and think I'm too old to fully accept the situation. Thankyou for this lovely video ,and I hope it helps many people.
3
I had 3 children with no disabilities but have experience working with autistic kids, and witnessed the high divorce rate within those families. So happy to see this happy ending. This couple is just beautiful, deserve each other and I hope can help others in the same situation. It’s the loss of a dream with the birth of a disabled child but life can get better like this family has learned.
I love that you are being so real. I did the bubble thing with our daughter who is not on the spectrum as far as I know. But, my husband worked away from home. He began working from home, and soon after, I got pregnant with the twins. He got to be there for all of that craziness (bed rest and more) and was always home and could pause his work as needed. I feel very lucky to have a partner who is equally involved in the progress of our twins who have nonverbal autism. We don't fight over who has it worse because it is exhausting being hypervigilant all of the time for both of us. I think the major thing that keeps us from falling apart as a couple is our unspoken sleep agreement. If one of us comes to the other and asks for a nap, we do our best to make it possible. We also look for signs in each other that show fatigue and recommend sleep for each other. It makes a huge difference talking to someone who is rested vs. not. Neither of us get enough sleep in general, but having someone who sees that you can't function on empty is heartwarming and it helps. But, sometimes I wonder what would have happened to us if my husband was gone most of the day. I don't think I could do this alone. Hats off to all the parents who do. You are my heroes.
This made me cry so much 😭😭😭this channel has help me tremendously in my journeywith my daughter thank you so much for being so real❤
I'm glad you found your way back to each other. 😁
thank you xox
A marriage is a special bond. Growing old together is a blessing. This blessing shows on your faces, in your words, through your voice : Heartwarming ❣️ (from a divorced mom with a bipolar son and two other grownups) I turn 60 in 2020 and looking back I feel enriched by my lifeexperiences. Life is Wonder-ful ✨.
Oh dear, such a gracious couple and their honesty is heartwarming. God love and bless y’all.
Thank you so much xox
Good for you for accepting there was a problem - but still staying connected. And then the two of you were able to find yourselves back to each other again - NOT as you once were - but as the NEW you as individuals that you evolved to. And as you evolved as an individual - then found each other again as a couple - but NEVER abandoning the fact that you will forever be that child's parent. I hope people are able to come by your wisdom and actually HEAR your message.
THANK YOU!
Thank you for taking the time to comment and such a lovely comment to x
This is the best video of what is like for a family with a child with autism. Recently, my husband and I been dealing with problems similar to yours, it is only a few weeks ago that we got an official diagnosis that he has changed his attitude towards our son. Thank you so much for sharing your story💖
thank you for your comment and i am hope your doing ok? x
We have been working more in communicating what we feel. It gets tough at time but we try not to hurt each other and to actually bring the good in both but we must talk about the things that need improvement. He doesn't like or believe in therapy but at least we are communicating more often. Real talks have to happen at least once a week so we don't let it buildup to an unhealthy level of energy.
God bless you.May God bless you with courage and good relationship that make you better parents than you used to be.
Denial is definitely where we all go, i am blessed that the diagnosis only made us stronger. My husband and i have been together for 13 years. I pray families stay together for times like these. 80% is a huge number, i never knew that. But its So nice to know you got back together.
❤️
Great idea to share with other families facing this same issuesyou guy's are awesome. It is hard work. Together makes things better!
What an honest and touching video, thank you for being so open...you are both great parents.
thank you so much