Random Number Generator Reviews! - The Carmudgeon Show Jason Cammisa & Derek Hyphen of ISSIMI Ep 87
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- čas přidán 12. 03. 2023
- In this episode, Jason digs into his storied spreadsheet of reviews of every car he's ever driven. And we learn that Derek has a spreadsheet, too.
With the help of a Random Number Generator that calls up cells in their spreadsheet, Jason and Derek take a trip down memory lane, reading aloud their sometimes embarrassing commentary on cars they've driven in the past.
One entry of Jason's was so... NSFW... that he initially couldn't read it out loud. When he finally did, Derek was so shocked he shot water out of his noise, misswallowed, and threw up in his mouth.
All in the name of fun, of course. Speaking of which, do you remember the Suzuki Equator? Neither did Jason, even though he drove one.
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The Carmudgeon Show is part of the Hagerty Broadcast Network. - Auta a dopravní prostředky
DTS taking a drink while asking for more details was such an epic set up. "Why was I drinking water???"
Can't read DTS without immediately thinking of Drive To Survive
He always drowned 😂😂
"so its like being at a sportsball stadium" -DTS, god that made me laugh LOL
You should sell t shirts saying “I hate every car on sale” or “why is there a water pump on this 911”
47:21 I’m actually crying with laughter at work, my coworkers are looking at me funny 😂😂😂
Ok call me dense but why is that funny?
Sorry for clarification, the joke not Derek, Derek almost dying doesn’t need any explanation 😂
@@griffins750 Trump eats mcdonalds and kfc every day
@@griffins750 Trump tried to tear up and flush a fuckton of White House documents down the toilet
Biden also, he likes it when his secretary buys him junior mcflurry
Cannot believe that both of you made spreadsheets of your car experiences. Crazy nerdy! And thanks for sharing them. Excellent treasure of info and experience! 👍More please
Glad you enjoyed our nerdness.
Some people have their experiences in life in order to post them on social media. Other people have their experiences in life in order to track them in spreadsheets. Make friends with the other people!
@@TheCarmudgeonShow And also, Congrats to Derek on his latest toy! Looks great. I'd like to get a wagon for myself, as well.
I haven’t heard that Hyphen laugh since The Pontiac Endurance Test!!! He’s got one of the best laughs when he can’t stop himself lol
Congrats Derek on the manual wagon!!!!
Such a rare chance to hear Derek's high-pitch laughter. Adorable.
I’m trying not to get yelled at for bursting out laughing at work. More of this please. Maybe every other month.
The Suzuki Equator is just a rebadged second-generation Nissan Frontier. It's not a bad truck, but not exciting either. The "SPIN" light on the dash comes on with the VDC (at least what's it called for Nissan) is coming on - it could be wheel slip or it's freaking out and thinks it's going to roll over because you lifted it and put on bigger tires after deleting the anti-sway bars for limiting travel.... hypothetically.
Spreadsheet-related timestamps! (this comment is spoiler-free, first reply below has spreadsheet numbers and car models)
20:06 Topic? No! Backup plan is Jason's spreadsheet
21:02 Turns out Hyphen has a spreadsheet
21:32 Paolo has a random number generator
22:20 Hyphen 1st entry
23:40 Jason 1st entry
27:05 Hyphen 2nd entry
29:02 Jason 2nd entry
31:28 Hyphen 3rd entry
32:42 Jason 3rd entry
36:43 Hyphen 4th entry
38:56 Jason 4th entry
40:19 Hyphen 5th entry
41:33 Jason 5th entry
44:32 Hyphen 6th entry
46:09 Jason 6th entry
54:24 Hyphen 7th entry
56:36 Jason 7th entry
22:20 Hyphen entry 850 - 1989 Peugeot 405 MI16
23:40 Jason entry 1851 - 2015 Audi A3 Cabriolet 1.8T FWD
27:05 Hyphen entry 1061 - 2015 Porsche 918 Weissach
27:32 Hyphen compares C-GT and 918
27:50 Jason looks up his 918 entry
29:02 Jason entry 734 - 2009 Dodge Nitro 3.0 R/T
30:38 The next day after the Nitro…Suzuki Equator!
31:28 Hyphen entry 385 - 1986 Ferrari 328 GTS
32:42 Jason entry 2383 - 2019 new Stratos
36:43 Hyphen entry 892 - 1964 Porsche 356C Coupe
37:58 Jason’s one 356 (replica) experience
38:56 Jason entry 406 - 2008 Honda Accord V6
39:02 Hyphen and Jason’s spreadsheets are sorted differently!
40:19 Hyphen entry 284 - Ducati Diavel (incl. old Pagoda Mercedes story)
41:33 Jason entry 1751 - 2014 Ford Fiesta ST
44:32 Hyphen entry 549 - 1961 Jaguar E-Type Roadster
46:09 Jason entry 2660 - 2021 Chrysler Pacifica (that Jason wrecked)
47:17 “…you can’t not share it…”
48:12 getting the Pacifica entry back on track
54:24 Hyphen entry 1045 - 2007 Porsche 911 GT3
55:39 Jason’s first ever GT3 entry
56:36 Jason entry 400 - 2008 Chevrolet Malibu LTZ V6
Cammisa with the Yacht Rock reference! My MX-5's vanity plate is MIYAHTA in honor of the genre. Also, his name is George Mica because he is Soul Red Crystal and I love Wham!. :)
58:20 Is it bad that I knew the title of the PET episode before DTS even mentioned it? I've literally watched it 100 times, truly the funniest story I"ve ever heard and Jason's impressions are top notch.
Also Derek isn't a copier for having a spreadsheet, I am. Although admittedly mine has far fewer entries ( I can't believe DTS is over 1000, wow!)
I just recently bought a “blue by you” 2003 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution that had 245,000 miles. I owned one of these when they were brand new that is the same year, color and options as my original one.
I ended up replacing the motor because the timing belt snapped on my way home from buying it but my plan is to rebuild the original motor and put it back in the car, along with fully restore the rest of the car.
I knew that if I didn’t buy this Evo, most likely someone else would probably have just parted this one out as soon as the timing belt snapped so I’m really glad I was the one who bought this car. I don’t care about what this car is worth or how much money I will need to put into the car to get it fixed up because I don’t plan on ever selling it.
Unless you live in a few select cities in the USA, where purchasing a residence is monetarily prohibitive (NYC, San Fran, etc...), Jason is 100% correct: always own your residence, as long as your taxes and other necessary payments are paid, NO ONE can ever kick you out.
We need more of these, please! Could keep hearing your stories for days
17:34 I’m so happy you understand how modern lighting works. I’ve been explaining to my tech coworkers, who had no idea, how DRLs function and how fogs turn off when high beams come on, etc.
It pisses me off because lots of cars use throttled down high beams OR FULL BRIGHTNESS LOW BEAMS as their daytime running lights which means you get blithering idiots at night with no taillights because they can see anyway!
American lighting laws are trash.
As for disabling DRLs, it’s all in the BCM. If a Chrysler is anything like an older Honda, there is no disabling DRLs unless you just unplug the bulb. In my Toyota, it uses full voltage low beams as the DRL and there’s a singular wire in the fuse box connecting to the headlight relay, which is a DRL signal. Unplug that single wire and DRL mode on the headlight switch does nothing. I still get low beams when the lights are full on.
Best of luck. I don’t think a dealer would do it if they could anyway, probably against some BS safety regulation
If it makes you feel any better, those blithering idiots are a common sight over here in Europe as well.
Or a common not in sight depending whether you´re looking at them from the front or the back i guess. 😅
And you wanna know where it´s by far and beyond the absolute most fun to encounter them?
On an empty, not illuminated Autobahn doing 150 mph while they happily creep on the middle lane with 60.
I tell you, afterwards you definitely will not have the slightest problems with feeling tired for at least like the next 30 mins!
Love these random reviews of cars driven and tested.
Thanks to Derek, "sportsball" is my new favourite sport word.
One of the greatest carmudgeod episodes of all time!
In Excel, you can Ctrl - G to go to row #.
12:54 Hyphen sounding like a child: "FOR A CLUTCH KIT???"
Congrats on the W124 purchase. I’m loving my 124.034 car. The M104 is a great engine especially with a dogleg.
Great episode
I have those same water glasses 🤌🏽
Was waiting for this one!
I like this format where you guys talk about some of the cars you drove in the past. If you do this format again it would be cool if you both talk about a car you drove with that same number so you can compare who had the cooler car with that number
one of the funniest episodes! the trump comparison was hilarious haha glad you made a second ep of this. gotta go watch it!
Welcome back 👏🏽
NOT THE SEPTIC TANK COMMENT 💀💀💀💀
It has been a long 2 week wait, welcome back
I saw this Merc wagon online and thought about buying it...sounded like a great price for such a good car...nice that you got it!
The 405 Mi16 has 160 CV DIN if I don't remember wrong. Great car! I love it.
The non-cat euro 1.9 liter was 160 cv, the cat version was 147 cv. Phase 2 2.0 liter cat was 155 cv if I remember correctly...
Welcome back!
Really enjoyed this setup of random reviews and hope to see more of it in future. Derek could work on his gag reflex though 🤣
The story with enterprise van is fucking amazing 😂
Jason, there were also factory HIDs on the Town and Country that could be added to the Caravan.
Ha Jason, I remember the Fiesta ST :D I did spot the Water pouring out of the Hatch. Was in bright orange, very pretty :D
Please do a part 2!
30:40 - The Suzuki Equator Crew-cab pick-up / ute was a badge-engineered Nissan Navara light commercial. (Pic looks to show a 2wd variant.)
Jason, the Grand Caravan had optional Nivomat Autoleveling suspension by Sachs. It’s self contained with no external pumps. I don’t think there’s electrical controls and could be retrofitted. It was also available with the R/T sport suspension.
The nivomats were part of the towing package, and they work well, but they are much stiffer than they have to be. They would be good for dealing with passengers and equipment.
I enjoy Jason feigning ignorance about having to pay $20k in sales tax on the Stratos when he has the Beat registered in Montana. It’s like Matt Farrah being fine with California’s draconian emissions laws while having his Countach registered at his parents house.
Jason said “124” and I was thinking “Hyphen bought a Fiat?”
Jason! Maurice is my friend too! Small world! Maybe he’ll get you on a bike one day.
Jason, I know you can't really do anything about the load leveling, but please don't put extremely bright LED bulbs into reflector housings. The beam control is far too poor to properly control the light output and you just end up pissing off other people like us that drive in normal, low cars. Retrofit some projectors in there!
Love the show, always makes my day!
To add: I think the similar Chrysler Town and Country of the same generation came with projector lights, may be a bolt-on place to start.
Breaking news- Suzuki has revived the Equator model name solely based on the web searches from this episode.
Do a part 2/3/5/6/etc! Love it
Jason
Try unplugging the DRL relay. I had a 2002 Jeep without this feature. There was an empty spot for the relay if the vehicle was sold in Canada.
Jason, since your ducts collapsed - you should look at replacing your system with a heat pump ductless system...they make inside units now that can be hidden better than before and some they look better than the old splits....way more efficient and helps you off set your cars (not really but if that convinces you, lol)
You will never hear your crawlspace or attic ever again, 😆
9 minutes ago? I can only come so fast! Wait, I mean...
Have either of you driven an E53 X5 5 or 6spd manual?
Yes, great fun. Just some things to keep in mind. The gears are really short in the 5 and 6 speed. 1st gear is just to get the beast moving. I would recommend getting a 6 speed version as the 5 speed revs insanely high at highway speeds. The 6 speed lowers the revs a little bit at highway speeds, but still revs really high. Typical E53 characteristics remain where the gas mileage is mediocre at best, but the rest of it is awesome. Very fun to drive with great steering and it’s the perfect size. As with any E53, it feels really well built. Love them.
I watched this yesterday and of course that night an Equator wen past me on the road. Because of course it did!
"Holds more shit than Trump's septic tank," (47:17) a car review (2021 Chrysler Pacifica) to make us all choke with laughter....
26:24 Yey, Zingerman's delicatessen in Ann Arbor!
LEDs in reflectors are tricky. Depends on the housing if it works out or not. They all need to be aimed down after install anyway
Not if the LED chips mimic the exact placement and size of the halogen filament. Which is tough to find, but the morimoto 2-stroke kit that Jason used is one of those really good kits. They just need to be aimed properly because errors before will be more obvious now with the brighter light.
Unless the reflector housing was a s***** design anyways and didn't have a clear line where the low beam cut off
@@MaFTB my 06 civic has a terrible reflector design. There’s no beam cutoff from the factory with halogens. LEDs certainly didn’t help
Greetings from Germany, working in Duisburg :-D
The Fiesta ST Recaro seats were a nice addition for a $20k hot hatch
Guys, Honda sadly got rid of the SOHC V6 with VTEC that was port fuel injected. They now have a DOHC Direct Injection engine with cylinder deactivation but no VTEC. Peak torque arrives higher and mpg and power are both only slightly improved.
I have a J35 bastard engine in a RX8. J32 Ported Heads, J37 intake manifold and throttle body, and some RWD conversion stuff.
It only made 310whp but sounds great in VTEC which is tuned to come on sooner. The timing belt is also stupid easy to do now.
It's a 180k mile block that now has 20 track events on it.
Really this is what Mazda needs to make
came to watch Jason being embarrassed, DTS response did not disappoint 😂😂
Jason, if you liked that A3, why not then MK6 Golf Cabriolet GTI manual with tartan interior?
You could get a cloth 2 tone interior in the base model 2008 Malibu too. My folks bought one new when GM went bankrupt for $16,000. My sister still drives it. It needed an exhaust manifold once but other than that has been a dead reliable car for 15 years. The v6 DI cars were worse for sure
"buy your house first" bro, Cammisa, even if i did nothing but saved for 5 years id just about to be able to afford a rotting house with no garage
Gents, I’m coming here from the future episode. Derek and Jason will be talking about white diesel W124 300d which went for 100,000+$ on Bringatrailer. Don’t thank me!
Weird I was expecting more cool information from this episode
Ok goofballs... it's time to projectile your vast knowledge... 👂 I'm listening 🙌🏁🍾
I think y’all forgot to add the insert at 15:50
I love my 206cc convertible. Metal top. Perhaps the best automatic hard roof convertible for what it costs... drives... and looks. Dare you for you to think of another one better.
NC miata top is better imo
@@danielthomas8507 imo? It's an international comment. Explain yourself.
@@danielthomas8507 you didn't inclued cost ir your ecuation. But if not. I'm 100% with you.
twin turbo that wagon, make it a swagon 😎
17:17 retrofit source rules. Expensive as fuck though
It's similar to buying something from crutchfield. You buy from them for the help and the expertise where they've already tried it for you.
But yeah, if you know what you're looking for, Amazon is WAAAY cheaper.
You owe me a new keyboard!! 😂😂😂😂
why is the v6 accord insert picture so pixelated lol
Suzuki Equator AKA Nissan Frontier
Shoutout to cammisa and -
If the car has a petal for the e-brake click it one click and the drl goes off
Agree porsche 997. ❤
Having driven my Wife's 2013 Town and Country, I second the criticism of the headlights. They are abysmal. I offered to put in some brighter lamps, but was told to stand down.
I'm a simple man: if I hear anything about old VWs or CIS - I hit a like button
Can’t you just un plug the photo sensor on the dash to disable the DRL?
I get the impression that Hyphen spends to much time drunk on Bring a Trailor.
Sucks about your duct work. Might as well get them to treat/seal the crawl space while doing the ductwork.
10:19 yes I’d love to buy a house IF I CAN FUCKING AFFORD ONE.
That was basically my comment above.
I feel like Jason treats Paolo like his personal serf. I feel bad for him that he has to sit there quietly and take it. Can we have an episode where the roles are reversed or is staying quiet too much of a punishment for camisa ?
Replacing shit bulbs in these shit enclosures with LED bulbs is going to make everyone miserable basically no matter what you do. Those reflectors just aren't made to handle the output of those LEDs. I just looked for a better solution, but it doesn't appear ANYONE makes a full LED-based headlight assembly for 2011-2019 Grand Caravan.
Suuuuuucks.
fun fact: a random number generator will never pick the first or the last number in the series.
Can't you just pull the DRL fuse on the camera van? Or am I too used to old-ish crappy cars.
I'm pretty sure it's controlled by the ECU if it's doing PWM nonsense. I have a 2010 Volvo where that is the case. The older stuff used to have its own module that was added on for vehicles and areas that needed it and had its own separate fuse
It’s usually a relay, not a fuse, which typically disables the headlights entirely. Sometimes you can get away with pulling a single wire from the relay, you’ll have to check wiring diagrams. Depends on how it’s designed. Not all DRLs are the same. Some use full low beams, some use half voltage high beams, others use a dedicated LED strip that dims when you turn on the headlights.
@@MaFTB Ah makes sense. I hated how the DRL''s made my Integra look cross-eyed, but thankfully changing that was as simple as pulling the fuse.
CIS is great I disagree. Just you yanks apart from Pierre (if you know, you know) can't maintain it 😂
Tam hyphen scott is pregnant??
Not first :-(
Amateur mistake of drinking while listening to offensive line
Chevy Maliable?.....lol.
Most of you audience throws up during your show....