Non binary pronouns and they / them

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  • čas přidán 19. 06. 2024
  • What are pronouns? Why are they important? How can you be respectful and inclusive when you're using them? What do gender neutral pronouns have to do with it?
    All of these questions answered and more as I talk about the use of they/them/theirs pronouns, honoring the pronouns of others, and creating educational moments from slip ups in conversation about gender.
    Links to more info:
    What You're Actually Saying When You Ignore Someone's Gender Pronouns:
    letsqueerthingsup.com/2014/09/...
    They're here, get used to them: why gender neutral pronouns are not "radical":
    www.hopesandfears.com/hopes/ci...
    Gender Pronouns:
    uwm.edu/lgbtrc/support/gender...
    Sexuality and Gender Activism:
    apps.carleton.edu/student/org...
    Gender-specific and Gender Neutral Pronouns:
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender-...
    Gender Neutral Pronouns:
    web.mit.edu/trans/GenderNeutra...
    For educational videos about discovering and working through your own gender identity, check out the Gender Resources playlist:
    • Gender Resources
    To learn more about gender, hear from folks whose experience is different from your own, and expand your understanding of how humans interact with gender, check out The Gender Tag Project playlist:
    • The Gender Tag Project
    --
    Become a patron on Patreon:
    / awylde
    --
    A. Wylde is a queer and gender nonbinary writer, activist, and travel enthusiast. Wylde publishes CZcams videos weekly on her channel Ashley’s Wylde Life, and is the creator of The Gender Tag Project, a project exploring the complex ideas of sex, gender roles, gender identity, and gender expression, which has inspired over 1,000 individual videos responses.
    Her work on The Gender Tag Project also sparked an invitation to speak at TEDxCSU 2016, and she continues to give speeches and facilitate workshops on the subject to university audiences.
    For professional and booking inquiries:
    Contact@awylde.com
    --
    Find me here:
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Komentáře • 1,7K

  • @randelaoveer2395
    @randelaoveer2395 Před 8 lety +697

    Honest question- Do you actually ask people their pronouns every time you meet someone new?

    • @samuelbealer608
      @samuelbealer608 Před 8 lety +121

      I do or I use they/them/theirs until told otherwise (by the person themselves usually).

    • @DebbieJacksonArtist
      @DebbieJacksonArtist Před 6 lety +55

      No, but I do when their presentation isn't immediately clear, and I try to do so more, lately.

    • @mell5428
      @mell5428 Před 4 lety +68

      I do I use it/thing/that.

    • @sugas_canoe_flippers
      @sugas_canoe_flippers Před 4 lety +2

      I do

    • @fewfaf4214
      @fewfaf4214 Před 4 lety +25

      @@samuelbealer608 weirdo

  • @ZombieChan84
    @ZombieChan84 Před 7 lety +293

    Hello I identify as bi-gender, and I'm sorry but I disagree. Its one thing if someone knows what your gender identity is, and they are purposely being hurtful. Its something else entirely if the person is just unaware, and uses pronouns that reflect how you look. Politely correct them, and move on. Is it a good idea to use gender neutral pronouns when they aren't sure...yes!. However you can't expect someone to change their daily interactions with other people because of less then 1% of the population. Also some people might be offended that you even ask for their pronouns.
    To be fair though I don't have any preferred pronouns. Call me whatever you want as long as you call me ;)

    • @delilahstella3017
      @delilahstella3017 Před 4 lety +2

      Europa H2O Alien wait r u joking or not

    • @pherwhite
      @pherwhite Před 4 lety +17

      i agree 420.
      too many assumptions of disrespect seem to be occurring, rather than "this is the convention i am used to - no offense." i will try to use "they" when asked out of respect, but when it comes down to laws and other coercive methods to push this 1% agenda, well i can't agree with that.
      my appeal to the radical left: if you want the rest of the population to accept your gifts of nuance and increased sensitivity (which are gifts to stiff traditionalists and support developmental and cultural progress for most of us), chill out with the demands and victimhood presentations. not every convention is tyrannical.
      and many of us are still trying to understand, so be patient with us please.

    • @gumdropthedutchie9012
      @gumdropthedutchie9012 Před 4 lety +9

      Does anyone know if you can use they/them pronouns if you’re cis but feel more comfortable using they/them instead of your gender’s “normal” pronouns?

    • @fewfaf4214
      @fewfaf4214 Před 4 lety +2

      I sure don't care about people getting offended because I called them the correct pronoun. "It" or the pronoun you look like.

    • @fewfaf4214
      @fewfaf4214 Před 4 lety +1

      @@gumdropthedutchie9012 Who gives a shit

  • @bilvotel3119
    @bilvotel3119 Před 5 lety +167

    "She" in german is "Sie". The formal version of "you" is also "Sie". And "They" is also "sie". I think we got a problem.

    • @fewfaf4214
      @fewfaf4214 Před 4 lety +6

      This isnt German

    • @bilvotel3119
      @bilvotel3119 Před 4 lety +21

      @@fewfaf4214 yeah but my mother tongue is so german speakers have a problem because we can't refer to people who don't identify with a traditional gender with they/them in german

    • @fewfaf4214
      @fewfaf4214 Před 4 lety +1

      @@bilvotel3119 You dont have the right to enforce your German rules on English speakers (because it is incorrect in English and we do not want to speak that way)

    • @bilvotel3119
      @bilvotel3119 Před 4 lety +18

      @@fewfaf4214 Well I don't mean to enforce any german rules on the english language . I am saying that people who speak german can't use pronouns like they or them because our language doesn't make it possible for us. So we (people who speak german) have to find another solution for gender non defining pronouns

    • @fewfaf4214
      @fewfaf4214 Před 4 lety

      @@bilvotel3119 I see....But you really dont.

  • @DanielGreen0
    @DanielGreen0 Před 3 lety +160

    I don't care how you choose to identify yourself. You can be a pigeon for all I care and I'll call you birdy. But I won't rewire my self linguistically to accommodate one person. There's a language, and while it's ever evolving, there are basic rules. If you're so confident in yourself, no person can invalidate you. Respecting someone is far beyond these things.

    • @gqaso
      @gqaso Před 3 lety +10

      It can be used as a singular pronoun, it's grammatically correct.
      someone can also use "them" when they don't know the gender of the person they're talking about, or if it's not specified (like this sentence)
      i've done that before knowing what a non-binary person is, people disregard the meaning of they/them when it comes to respecting an nb :|

    • @Thegaoat
      @Thegaoat Před rokem +3

      True that faux conversation in this video was so frustrating to listen to. I could never talk about someone and call that person they, them or theirs etc. I

    • @musiclifegage7370
      @musiclifegage7370 Před rokem

      Well said. Respect and understanding goes both ways.

    • @sainticidal
      @sainticidal Před rokem +1

      they/them has been used for years. literal centuries, it’s older than she/her.

    • @michaeladelarge534
      @michaeladelarge534 Před rokem +1

      To screw with mind even more just use "Siya" when talking to these ppl, if they're mad it's not valid, it's the philiphines he/she/it, the same for all. The way I use Spanish "pero" occasionally to replace "but". If not they're not validating others earthling language, it's totally valid to mix english in Asia too. Lmao

  • @HuManl0g
    @HuManl0g Před 3 lety +9

    She acts like I don’t know what a pronoun is

    • @Cami-dc9iu
      @Cami-dc9iu Před 2 lety +1

      MOOD 😂

    • @wallissmithson2098
      @wallissmithson2098 Před 3 měsíci

      I have no idea what a pronoun is, i met some one who identifies as they them, i didn't want to cause offence, conversation was strained..

  • @retrohorror5418
    @retrohorror5418 Před 3 lety +49

    just keep it simple. "it" covers all the bases

    • @Ic.roseee
      @Ic.roseee Před 2 lety +6

      😭😭😭😂😂😂

    • @botersause3627
      @botersause3627 Před 2 lety +2

      I thought it was used for animals, but this is going far. I don't mind using them but I'm not gonna ask them for their pronounce every time I meet someone. Although they could tell me. OMG i used they them pronounce how difficult.

    • @bluewhale2600
      @bluewhale2600 Před 2 lety +1

      Might as well.

    • @joemcchad6064
      @joemcchad6064 Před 2 lety

      Holy crap

    • @bgggsht
      @bgggsht Před 2 lety

      This.......thing

  • @2023Mermaid
    @2023Mermaid Před 5 lety +43

    A: How's he doing?
    B: He???
    A: Yes, he
    B: It's it
    A: What's it?
    B: The pronoun is it!
    A: Oh, how's it? doing?
    B: It's doing better, thank you.
    A: What were we talking about again?
    B: My son, remember?
    A: Oh yes, im glad to hear he's feeling better.
    B: Ugh
    A: What..

    • @othello4689
      @othello4689 Před 4 lety +5

      Hey mate no one actually uses the pronoun "it" it just kinda dehumanizes someone if you use that pronoun

    • @Day-lp5tr
      @Day-lp5tr Před 3 lety +3

      @@othello4689 that’s incorrect, I have a friend that uses it/its pronouns and I’ve seen many other people use it/its pronouns

  • @KathRob1994
    @KathRob1994 Před 8 lety +146

    I think what would hold me back from just simply asking, is the fear that they may be offended that their gender isn't obvious. For some ppl it may feel like being misgendered.

    • @Damon9
      @Damon9 Před 3 lety +4

      You don’t have to ask everyone you meet only the people you see every day

    • @PhilipposACosta
      @PhilipposACosta Před 3 lety +6

      I might feel offended by someone asking my gender, or at least confused.

    • @BromoProductions
      @BromoProductions Před 3 lety +2

      But who cares? Use their name..

    • @David-fw4ly
      @David-fw4ly Před 2 lety +3

      @@PhilipposACosta Exactly, I’m a cis-man and I would feel bad if somebody didn’t know I was a male.

    • @warhammer2779
      @warhammer2779 Před 2 lety +3

      Getting offended is a personal choice.

  • @peaceablegirl
    @peaceablegirl Před 7 lety +51

    I'm so confused.

    • @thewritingsonmyheart
      @thewritingsonmyheart Před 3 lety +9

      Me too! How about I just say your name the whole time.

    • @stqrrghoul
      @stqrrghoul Před 3 lety +5

      So basically they them means that a person would prefer to be know as they “they are almost done” and “it’s theirs right now” so like they them is like they don’t have a spefcificgender comment if u have any more questions

    • @annasxfa
      @annasxfa Před 3 lety +1

      @@stqrrghoul hi sorry i’m a little bit confused about neopronouns, can you please teach me how to use it? thank you so much!

    • @stqrrghoul
      @stqrrghoul Před 3 lety +1

      @@annasxfa so basically they/them means that a a person thinks that their not girl or boy so they are non binary so they prefer the pronouns they/them so if someone doesn’t have a specific gender when using them ina sentence use the words “they” and “them”

    • @Ella_bellacoconut
      @Ella_bellacoconut Před 3 lety

      @@stqrrghoul you just helped me tons 😭👍🏾. I am so confused and I’m scared to ask my friends cuz then they’ll be like “HoW Do YoU NoT KnOW?” And be all judgmental about me not knowing.

  • @OrionsRepresentative
    @OrionsRepresentative Před 8 lety +121

    I find it so interesting how different languages treat this stuff. Like in Farsi there is no gender, the same word is used for he/she/singular they, its just 'u'. Whereas in Arabic and Hebrew there's not only a distinction between he and she, but when there are different forms of the word for 'you' dependent on the person's gender. It must be awkward to ask someone's pronouns in languages where your forced to use gendered language no matter what!

    • @johannesschutz780
      @johannesschutz780 Před 6 lety +28

      Never in history until nowadays has anybody ever asked the question "what are your pronouns" because they knew this questions doesn't make any sense at all.

    • @tysfalsehood
      @tysfalsehood Před 3 lety +12

      Jole Schütz Never in History had anyone sent an email until the 20th century - Obviously Emails make no sense at all!

    • @august1837
      @august1837 Před 3 lety +6

      I’m Arab and want to go by they/them but I can’t. As you said, it’s not only a pronoun problem. Almost every word indicates my birth sex in some way

    • @dereksmith6693
      @dereksmith6693 Před 2 lety +1

      @@tysfalsehood it does make sense. Before email there was and is still "mail" you people begging other people to call you as they/them he/her she/him whatever tf it is, IS weird and does not make any sense at all

    • @tysfalsehood
      @tysfalsehood Před 2 lety +3

      @@dereksmith6693 Yes, but my point being that there are going to be changes in culture that feel foreign and uncomfortable to us as the world changes. Just because something is new and weird to you and your culture doesn’t automatically mean it makes no sense.

  • @idkiris7147
    @idkiris7147 Před 8 lety +3

    Let me get this straight. 1- The person in the video is not saying you have a pronoun problem. 2- You are not the victim. 3- You are not the one being bullied. 4- The person in the video says these things about pronouns as a SUGGESTION not a DEMAND. That is all. Have a good day.

  • @sstills951
    @sstills951 Před 5 lety +33

    They, them and they’re pertains to more than one tho.

    • @aixavalerio7884
      @aixavalerio7884 Před 3 lety +1

      @Ty Pranger I usually use he... 👀👀👀

    • @aixavalerio7884
      @aixavalerio7884 Před 3 lety

      @-Avery- It would be difficult.

    • @JosephJohnson-gu5fw
      @JosephJohnson-gu5fw Před 3 lety +2

      It's not difficult. You're making excuses to avoid learning

    • @aixavalerio7884
      @aixavalerio7884 Před 3 lety

      @@JosephJohnson-gu5fw nope. I'm a spasnish speaker and They is plural➡ellos/ellas. But, well.....😔😔😔

    • @aixavalerio7884
      @aixavalerio7884 Před 3 lety

      @@JosephJohnson-gu5fw but there are cases that "THEY" is singular. But, let's say I'm in a room talking with someone and my spanish cousin calls, then how can i refer to that person if in spanish is (he/el, she/ella)???

  • @kasunovinfinity
    @kasunovinfinity Před rokem +4

    This is 100% the lowest priority problem of modern times.

  • @arisejeff
    @arisejeff Před rokem +16

    I often feel disrespect and offended when I tell others to refer to me as my preferred pronoun "Daddy" but they look and me with judgemental eyes. So disrespectful

  • @isaacesturt
    @isaacesturt Před 4 lety +8

    I guarantee you that it's "she" when there's one lifeboat remaining.

  • @choncedarabbit4472
    @choncedarabbit4472 Před 3 lety +8

    I don't completely understand why someone would want to be called they or them by default, it's so confusing because that's super hard to remember and even then it's really hard to maneuver around and use sometimes

    • @wallissmithson2098
      @wallissmithson2098 Před 3 měsíci

      So true, today I had to do mental gymnastics, i couldn't speak

  • @ericacm9035
    @ericacm9035 Před 8 lety +66

    I am hesitant to ask people what their pronouns are because what if they think it should be obvious and I offend them by asking?

    • @drcarlsjr5646
      @drcarlsjr5646 Před 8 lety +16

      Never offend anyone ever. People have the right to not be offended and if you do offend someone then the world will end.

    • @DebbieJacksonArtist
      @DebbieJacksonArtist Před 6 lety +1

      A fair concern. A lot of cis people and people who aren't used to or clued in to the idea of non-binary gender get really upset if you act like their gender isn't obvious - especially if they have appearance-related insecurities already. Something that massively helps certain people can be dysmorphic for others.
      I'd love to see pronoun questions become commonplace and casual like this and honestly the best way for that to happen is to keep working to normalise them by asking those you meet what their pronouns are. But, personally, I have a rule of thumb to avoid asking about gender when someone presents extremely knife-edged masc or femme to the point of no confusion and/or has already indicated social conservatism in their mannerisms or conversation so far. Sadly these are the people who probably could most do with encountering the idea of pronoun requests but it's a difficult matter to judge whether that chance is worth putting them off the idea entirely via offence taken. I also recommend using non-gender-specific greetings and honorifics with strangers with whom you're not likely to become more familiar, for example greeting customers as part of your role in a retail job.

    • @luvisacigarette8
      @luvisacigarette8 Před 6 lety +1

      Like they say, offense can't be given, only taken.

    • @1flybyguy
      @1flybyguy Před 4 lety

      Just use the most neutral pronouns that exist if gender isn't apparent: it, thing.... thing, it! Easy peasy.

  • @Kingconquest89
    @Kingconquest89 Před 6 lety +39

    one question i have is, where is the line when it comes to deconstructing language and culture to suit a minority group of people? like, who sets the rules when it comes to imposing new social practices such as asking people what their pronouns are? do we now have to ask everyone what their pronouns are as if it is a perfectly reasonable thing to do? is it only reasonable because it suits the non-binary condition? what if i take offense to someone asking me if I'm a boy or a girl? what if my stance is that you should know based on how i present myself, and i consider it disrespectful if you have to ask me? like, i dress and act a certain way because that is how i wish to be perceived. me personally, i would rather correct someone than have someone ask me what i am. thats insulting to me. however, i also do not have the right to demand anyone's respect. im just wondering, if the purpose is to blindly "respect" everyone regardless of their association (or lack thereof) with an individual, then couldn't it be considered non-inclusive and disrespectful to impose that members of society operate under rules defined by a group of people who self identify as suffering from "gender dysphoria," a psychological disorder? would that be comparable to people suffering from depression imposing that everyone be nice to them because their life is so unbearable as it is? who are you to impose that i respect your condition? who am i to impose that you respect mine? respect is earned, not demanded.
    i completely understand the purpose of your channel as an educational glimpse into what it means to be non-binary. however, i find that we start to tread on shaky ground when we say people have a "problem," because of how they use language and see the world. its a different story if you correct someone and they purposely call you by the wrong pronoun.. that's disrespectful. however, i can't see how its DISRESPECTFUL to assume based on how someone presents themselves. we are a dimorphic species.. its only natural that we assume based on the two sexes prevalent in nature.
    i'm sorry, but im not going to go around asking people what pronoun they want me to use on them as if to assume everyone suffers from gender dysphoria. however, if i call you HE, and you correct me, i will use the pronoun you want me to use.. that's respect.

    • @altadustin7774
      @altadustin7774 Před 2 lety +2

      We have always used the "proper" use of language to identify someone's education level. You see how people are always acting like the "Grammar Police" on Social media to determine a person's intellect. Who decided that curse words were "curse" words. Like the person who continues to use the "N" word and refuses to be educated, you can continue to use whatever language you want to use. Just be aware, some may judge you for your lack of education and you may not care but that is your prerogative.

    • @kennard6882
      @kennard6882 Před 2 lety +1

      @@altadustin7774I know you said just be aware but …. Depending on the individual not all knowledge is important, useful or significant. So one’s judgmental opinion is a sense of entitlement because the knowledge they assume or wish to be universal is none essential and useless to others. That knowledge can still be widely known and disregarded. So the one deciding to judge another for their lack of knowledge wastes effort, time, and attention categorizing people as uneducated instead of swaying them toward their social norm through action and results. Just be aware Eventually Judgmental people with a sense of entitlement lose respect if theres hardly any meaning to their words.

    • @cheopys
      @cheopys Před rokem

      Genuinely dysphoric people are one in 65,000 births. The other 99.9% are fakes looking for attention.

  • @somedude772
    @somedude772 Před 3 lety +26

    Making life more complicating than it has to be

  • @danielsarmiento1604
    @danielsarmiento1604 Před 3 lety +15

    If you need someone else's validation in order to identify what YOU believe, why bother believing it.
    If you need ME to call you something you're not in order for you to feel like you're that, it means you're not it
    If YOU strongly believe that you're something else, why does it matter what other people say, haters gonna hate, if you depend on people believing what YOU are, then you're nothing.

    • @tommyrex6648
      @tommyrex6648 Před 3 lety +3

      I love this comment.

    • @pr1nce22a9
      @pr1nce22a9 Před 3 lety +3

      whoa, I can understand this point of view because if someone called me male pronouns I wouldn’t care, I know I’m a female. I think they just want to be respected since we get called by pronouns we are okay with being called

  • @jcfigueroa8624
    @jcfigueroa8624 Před 4 lety +79

    Talking about been detached from reality.

    • @ItsMikky
      @ItsMikky Před 3 lety +1

      🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

  • @lollipopcorndog
    @lollipopcorndog Před 4 lety +73

    Then I feel like I’m talking about more than one person.

    • @thechimichanga6914
      @thechimichanga6914 Před 4 lety +14

      Then call the person "it".

    • @viniciusmarques9964
      @viniciusmarques9964 Před 4 lety +26

      @@thechimichanga6914 lol. It sounds offensive since "It" is for animals and things.

    • @thechimichanga6914
      @thechimichanga6914 Před 4 lety +13

      @@viniciusmarques9964 Hey, humans are animals. And if the person doesn't wanna have a gender (which is one of the main factors (though not the only one) that makes a human), it might as well be a thing. 🤪

    • @alumilynn
      @alumilynn Před 4 lety +10

      There are multiple uses for "they" and "them". One is used when you don't know the gender of someone. Example: You call papa John's and order a pizza, "they" asked if you wanted it with sauce or not. And the second one is used for crowds and stuff.

    • @thechimichanga6914
      @thechimichanga6914 Před 4 lety +5

      @@alumilynn Correct, though Papa John's is more of an organization, so I would say a better example for the first use would be, "We needed another construction worker here 10 minutes ago, but *they* haven't showed up yet."
      Another way to use "they" is when talking about people/objects in general, or whose identity doesn't need to be stated. For example, "A sponge is a hermaphrodite, meaning *they* are both male and female."

  • @Brett33
    @Brett33 Před 5 lety +6

    I will never refer to an individual as a they or them or some idiotic thing like ze or zippity doo da.

    • @acousticangel4403
      @acousticangel4403 Před 3 lety

      they
      [T͟Hā]
      PRONOUN
      used to refer to two or more people or things previously mentioned or easily identified.
      "the two men could get life sentences if they are convicted"
      people in general.
      "the rest, as they say, is history"
      informal
      a group of people in authority regarded collectively.
      "they cut my water off"
      𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗮 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿.
      "ask someone if they could help"
      Right there in the dictionary.

  • @demiurge78
    @demiurge78 Před 3 lety +28

    What if they get insulted that you ask them the pronouns? What if they feel they are feminine or masculine enough to be determined by appearance?

    • @imjustlucy_29
      @imjustlucy_29 Před 2 lety +2

      Then don’t talk to the person. They’re not worthy of your words.

    • @bassbabs6500
      @bassbabs6500 Před 2 lety +4

      @@imjustlucy_29 thats like 99% of the population. most people are not open to 'what are your pronouns, becuase i want to confirm if you are really male/female or other', it can be offensive. but ok bestie you live in isolation i guess...

    • @imjustlucy_29
      @imjustlucy_29 Před 2 lety +2

      @@bassbabs6500 I was quoting a line from a show, “You are not qualified to speak to me” from The Untamed? I didn’t thought it would bother you.

    • @rm13bm
      @rm13bm Před rokem +1

      @@imjustlucy_29 that is what is offensive not taking to someone just because they think differently

    • @cheopys
      @cheopys Před rokem +1

      They're going to find some phony reason to be insulted no matter what you say or don't say.

  • @MrUnstoppableHeart
    @MrUnstoppableHeart Před 3 lety +6

    Vast vast majority of people don't go by or want to go by they/them. If you want to be called that, you can let someone know after they misgender you and it should not be seen as disrespectful because it is a very rare trait. Its too rare of an occasion to spend the time to ask everyone this before I say words.
    That's like asking someone if their deaf everytime before talking to someone new. Its not rude to talk to a deaf person without asking if they were deaf for the first time. Deafness is a rare trait and it is not practical to preface a giant list of if else possibilities before passing casual conversation in life.

  • @tomg5187
    @tomg5187 Před rokem +29

    Thank you for explaining but I’m okay with using normal speech 🙏

  • @thatduderayy
    @thatduderayy Před rokem +2

    “ what are your pronouns id like to respect you maybe” 💀 this shit is getting out of hand..

  • @giorgosgalanos9888
    @giorgosgalanos9888 Před 3 lety +9

    The conclusion... this period is great and favorable for people who do not know how to speak English properly...

  • @elsiitaxoxo89
    @elsiitaxoxo89 Před 8 lety +113

    Hi I just met you and this is crazy what are your pronouns? 👌😂

  • @edmeds1336
    @edmeds1336 Před 3 lety +18

    Wait so everytime i interact with a new person, i should start with "hey whats your pronouns"? Think about that. Im pretty sure that won't work

    • @ven4762
      @ven4762 Před 3 lety +1

      She lives in a woke world

    • @acousticangel4403
      @acousticangel4403 Před 3 lety +1

      No, trans will tell you their pronouns while introducing themselves if it isn't immediatley obvious. You're creating your oppresors.

  • @victoriapowell6318
    @victoriapowell6318 Před 10 měsíci +1

    I am not spending the moments of my life worrying about how "included" everyone else feels, and I am putting zero effort into changing how I use pronouns to suit other people. That's just the way it is.

  • @silverdamascus2023
    @silverdamascus2023 Před rokem +1

    They/them pronouns can be used in the singular, it's like this for centuries, but it works when the person is unspecified, either unknown or hypothetical, when the person is literally neither male or female, conversation becomes confusing, without proper context, you don't know if they/them refers to one person or a group.
    Use a new word, use "it/its" even though people claim it's disrespectful, "queer" was an insult but was taken.
    And the real problem is gendered languages like spanish, portuguese and french, where it's not just changing the pronouns, it's also changing the nouns, the articles, the adjectives and the numerals, even things that aren't alive like a car or a chair are called he or she, South America already struggles to teach millions of illiterate kids and adults the regular language, and France is a country that gave a lot of rights to LGBT people, and they still said no to gender-neutral french language.

  • @Paul54WH
    @Paul54WH Před 6 lety +22

    I'm "invalidating your identity and dishonoring the way you show up in the world?" With pronouns? Try to imagine the depths of my shame and horror.

  • @freyamacrae1011
    @freyamacrae1011 Před 6 lety +3

    I've only now realised, but I always tend to use they and them pronouns for people who I do not know/know the gender identity of. I always used to think this was just an act of equality for genders as gender wasn't really a known subject of mine, I was only aware of being born with the gender that matches your genitalia but I have recently discovered gender and sexuality (I'm pansexual and non-binary). I noticed that I really hate my vagina mad my boobs make me uncomfortable but not in a way that I want to be a male. And just a tip: if your non-binary or gender fluid, use the ladies rooms or changing rooms because they are so much nicer (sometimes, not being sexist)

  • @TwinklemySoul
    @TwinklemySoul Před rokem +2

    If you use 'they' or 'them' while referring to one individual it will cause serious misunderstanding.......and 'they', 'them' pronouns are gender neutral but they are used traditionally to refer to a group of people not one single individual

  • @shelbychuday6063
    @shelbychuday6063 Před 4 lety +2

    I’m sorry if this is an ignorant question. I get using they/them/their aka gender neutral pronouns for non-binary, but what about gender fluid/bu-gender? Are gender neutral pronouns still appropriate? I know some gender fluid people who feel more feminine some days and masculine other days but I don’t know if I should be switching the pronouns based on how they feel that day? Confused

    • @user-up5di8ln7g
      @user-up5di8ln7g Před 3 lety

      Ask them their pronouns ! :)

    • @gqaso
      @gqaso Před 3 lety

      i don't know much about the topic, but don't they go by any pronouns or something..? sorry i'm not entirely sure!

  • @drbirtles
    @drbirtles Před 8 lety +32

    I'm new to this topic and trying to find my values, so forgive me if I make a mistake, but I'm often torn on this issue.
    Due to the vast majority of folks globally (inductively speaking) being categorised as CIS, I don't see is as a necessarily malicious act when one assumes a gender pronoun, especially if the reference is towards someone who may hold attributes often associated with gender (Female features e.g. breasts, lack of adams apple etc etc)
    So I tend to operate on a once-corrected basis. I will inductively presume gender (as asking pronouns all the time does cause inconvenience and sanctimonious connotations in day to day discourse) but once corrected e.g. "Sorry I actually identify as (blank)" I will out of respect continue forth using their preferred pronouns.
    Do you think this is an acceptable balance for valuing their identity whilst keeping pragmatic day-to-day social interactions less cumbersome?
    I have tried asking pronouns before each and every new conversation and I often find it leads me into a discussion I don't necessarily want to have all the time (hence cumbersome), and perhaps makes me appear like I feel my subjective values are something that should be a standard, which doesn't tie into my ethical views. Not a good way to start a new conversation :(
    I'd really like your opinion on this. Thank you :)

    • @othello4689
      @othello4689 Před 4 lety +2

      this is completely fine dude. if they correct you, and you use their preferred pronouns, then you're all good

    • @fewfaf4214
      @fewfaf4214 Před 4 lety +5

      you are thinking WAY too hard about this issue. weirdly hard

    • @drbirtles
      @drbirtles Před 4 lety

      @@fewfaf4214 yeah this was FOUR years ago.

    • @fewfaf4214
      @fewfaf4214 Před 4 lety +4

      @@drbirtles Your point is

    • @ReverbCanvas
      @ReverbCanvas Před 3 lety

      @@fewfaf4214 now he’s fully woke I guess lmao

  • @vicoyeyemarz6508
    @vicoyeyemarz6508 Před 5 lety +3

    I got the pronoun mix up all the time in English and with cis people. Like " he is a photographer and her brother is a cameraman"
    And also when I was introduced to gender neutral pronouns , I feel ashame. I thought the" they them their " mean like I can use the two gender pronouns 🤦🤦🤦🤦 wish I have saw this video in that time 😭

  • @susanradzilowski5648
    @susanradzilowski5648 Před 3 lety

    Hi, Can I have permission to use this video clip in a presentation for Social Work students at Michigan State University? Thanks for your consideration.

  • @luxord2654
    @luxord2654 Před 2 lety +2

    When it comes to pronouns, I personally wouldn't say you need to ask what they are ALL the time to literally every new person that you meet, but if it were me I would just ask if it doesn't feel totally obvious. We have a new co-worker at my job that's been here for about a month or so and she presents pretty androgynously. Just looking at her appearance made it seem like she really could be non-binary for all I know. She asked for a ride home and we were in the same area so I said sure. We talked for a bit on the way over and then I figured I'd just ask. She just paused for a moment before answering. I guess it just caught her off guard, but said she goes by she, and then we just kept on talking all the way back. It was nice.

  • @juliahannigan7100
    @juliahannigan7100 Před 8 lety +11

    Hey, Ashley, how do you feel about pronouns such as xir/xirs and hir/hirs and how can someone gain a better understanding of them?

    • @44excalibur
      @44excalibur Před 5 lety +18

      You can't gain a better understanding of made up words that mean nothing and are useless.

    • @Blacksoul444
      @Blacksoul444 Před 4 lety +3

      Never heard of that. Did you import that from sweden?

    • @44excalibur
      @44excalibur Před 4 lety +2

      @@humandefinitely Yes, they mean nothing. They might as well be Klingon.

    • @44excalibur
      @44excalibur Před 4 lety +6

      @human No, they're not. Those are made up phony words to accommodate 0.6% of the population that seems to think they are entitled to have 99.4% of the human population that has no need for gender neutral language to alter all of society to accommodate them. Sorry, but the universe has been built on asymmetry for 13 billion years now, and it really doesn't care. 99.4% of the human population has no need for made-up Klingon words, nor do we need to refer to individuals by confusing and non-specific plural pronouns. If an individual group in society is this offended by simple pronouns then the problem is with them, not us.

    • @44excalibur
      @44excalibur Před 4 lety +3

      @human Words, speech, and dialect were created from necessity, for humans to communicate with each other with greater detail and specificity. Neopronouns are not created for any reason other than political correctness, to accommodate a segment of the population that chooses to ignore billions of years of evolutionary biology and are no different than flat-Earthers who deny that the Earth is round. It's understandable that those who possess the neurological anomaly of gender dysphoria that causes them to dissociate from their biological gender that is predetermined at conception by their chromosomes wish to be treated with respect. But we do not upend or rewrite centuries of science, culture, and language belonging to 99.4% of the human population to accommodate the 0.6% of the population that has his neurological anomaly.

  • @farqueueman
    @farqueueman Před rokem +3

    Just so you know, your pronouns don't make you any less boring lol.

  • @beevx
    @beevx Před 3 lety +2

    I have a question like how do you talk/address someone with
    they/them pronouns

    • @ethandalton6480
      @ethandalton6480 Před 2 lety

      You'd probably use their name when speaking to them directly, as you would with anyone. When talking about them to someone else, you'd use they, as you could do with anyone.

  • @katisalec2927
    @katisalec2927 Před 2 lety

    Im a little confused. I'm wanting to try using they/her pronouns but I don't know if I'm going through diaspora or not is it disrespectful if I see how I feel about it and decide that it might not be what fits me? Please let me know i would never want to be rude about it

  • @scotthulsey8763
    @scotthulsey8763 Před 2 lety +4

    I will use the one I want to use .The one that scientifically is accurate!

  • @K-Choi
    @K-Choi Před 2 lety +3

    16 years of studying English, and I’ve been doing it wrong the whole time.

  • @kular01
    @kular01 Před 3 lety +1

    These pronouns are confusing in many cases when referring to a single individual and it just messes with the language. Would one say "they was walking down the street"? or "they were walking down the street"?... and it raises the question of "was they more than one person?" I am all for non-binary pronouns to identify individuals. However they/them already has its place in the English language. This evolution in peoples' understanding that people aren't confined to boy or girl deserves a new word. Using "they/them" just seems like an afterthought to address a growing number of people who identify themselves as non-binary.

    • @AWylde
      @AWylde  Před 3 lety +1

      Thank you for your comment! Many nonbinary people DO use new pronouns, some examples are ei/em, and fae/faer. It’s important that folks have options, and it’s okay that a lot of nonbinary people just like they/them! For reference, I would say “Atlas went to the store, they were walking down the street.” And it wouldn’t be confusing because the antecedent clarifies the subject :)

  • @everythingeverywhereentert2957

    I have a question since I usually use they then their when talking about someone in the past tense or talking about a group of people. Is the they/them singular pronouns mean they identify both as a male/female or is it something else. If they don’t identify as male/female are they just non-binary. The whole concept is kinda confusing even if you ask someone what their pronouns are and they don’t understand how would you explain what the definition of the pronouns for each of the pronouns out there which there is over 10 different pronouns being created. Does some pronouns overlap each other like when someone say they are both a she/her or a he/him and a they/them pronoun. It’s all kinda confusing how can someone be a they/them and at the same time be a she/her or he/him pronouns

  • @warhammer2779
    @warhammer2779 Před 2 lety +9

    Thanks ma'am for educating me! I've had a revelation!
    I can now safely and securely identify as an Chrome Toaster and expect everyone to automatically know my pronouns are toaster, toast, toasted. Whew! If not, I will throw a 2 year old hissy fit and shame them not knowing. Brilliant!
    Expecting others to ask everyone what their pronouns are is idiotic. Getting bent over someone not automatically knowing or using your preferred pronouns is a personal choice.

  • @alineminor9069
    @alineminor9069 Před 3 lety +3

    Very good explained, thanks for the education. I would have been confused if someone told me "i met a beautiful photographer, but didnt talk to them. I would have thought it was several people. But I get it now and thats thanks to you. Unfortunately my native tongue (german) seems a bit more difficult in that matter. We only have he she it and obviously no-one wants to be referred to as "it". Hope they come up with something!

  • @1026JMS
    @1026JMS Před rokem +1

    I do not want to ask anyone if they want me to use any special pronouns for that person. It would be tiresome, and unnecessary. Also, "they"/"them" are plural pronouns, not for referring to a singular person; using those for one single person will be confusing. Finally, I do not agree with twisting language for ideological purposes, especially when that will go against truth and reality.

  • @YouFeudTV
    @YouFeudTV Před rokem +1

    It’s crazy to think strangers have a right to enforce their ideology.
    To be honest.. if someone came at me with this pronoun jargon, I would walk away..
    Because I can gauge straight off the bat that they feel entitled and have a difficult personality

  • @glennanderson4554
    @glennanderson4554 Před 4 lety +3

    I have come to the defense both verbally and physically for friends of mine who are gay and or in transition, and I just don't understand this. I respect people for who they are and how they care about others. I accidentally asked a kid whom I knew as a male how "he" was doing and got an earful to the point that I got angry. I put the burden on the people who have come out and publicly changed how they want to be referred as, not on the rest of us who have known you as one way for years. I love the kid and I would come to his defense if anyone was picking on them but I just want the respect I deserve too.

    • @theharshtruthoutthere
      @theharshtruthoutthere Před rokem

      They/them = the pronounces of the evil spirits. For they are many.
      Humans can only have
      HE/HIM for male
      SHE/HER for female
      Can you define a WOMAN? - human, created from the rib bone of a man.
      If the BIBLE is too hard to read, may i help:
      Genesis 2:21
      “And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;”
      Genesis 2:22
      “And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.”
      Genesis 2:23
      “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
      Lets divide the WORD OF TRUTH as bible teaches us to do: 2 Timothy 2:15
      Both words: ADAM and WOMEN are nouns:
      Adam = mankind. Both, males and females carrie the name; ADAM.
      Woman = female humans. WOMEN, name given by male human.
      We could also state that WOMEN = origin from a MAN. Which also the BIBLE says: "she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”".

  • @rhyth7214
    @rhyth7214 Před 4 lety +27

    as a black enby, i can't be the only one who's noticed that it's always the most boring white females (afab) who have such intense gender crises because that's the only thing that can be potentially "interesting" about their identity? it's like they think they're even slightly gender nonconforming and that becomes their ENTIRE identity. i know so many lgbt white afabs whose entire identity is centered around being lgbt. i personally don't go around parading about my gender or sexuality because it doesn't matter all that much and there's much more for me to worry about than someone calling me by the wrong pronoun.

    • @noasteinberger5415
      @noasteinberger5415 Před 3 lety +6

      I mean it doesn't harm you if they do that... and being misgendered can suck so extreme reactions are understandable

    • @pennyw00se
      @pennyw00se Před 3 lety +1

      @@noasteinberger5415 dude just correct them and go about your day

    • @noasteinberger5415
      @noasteinberger5415 Před 3 lety +1

      @@pennyw00se did i not? 👁👄👁 lmao aight

    • @ReverbCanvas
      @ReverbCanvas Před 3 lety

      Wtf is an enby and afab?

    • @noasteinberger5415
      @noasteinberger5415 Před 3 lety +3

      @@ReverbCanvas enby is non-binary, AFAB is assigned female at birth

  • @lucifursanarchy5202
    @lucifursanarchy5202 Před 8 lety

    What about other ones? I think I've seen zir before? I have NO IDEA what these other ones are or mean! Please help?

    • @AshleysWyldeLife
      @AshleysWyldeLife Před 8 lety +2

      +Ahmandah Anarchy They all mean the same thing :] They are words that people sue to describe themselves and others, used in the same way that he/him/his and she/her/hers are used. Other people have different preferences for what pronouns they like used to refer to them, and sometimes you have to ask to find out what they are!

  • @nayam8959
    @nayam8959 Před 8 lety +2

    so basically if I saw a duck it's putting an identity on them and they're not and it's damn right rude.
    Ok dude you need a Pheropist ASAP

  • @johannesschutz780
    @johannesschutz780 Před 6 lety +4

    Since when are pronouns about identity? I think I fully missed that point. I thought gendered pronouns have always been about percieved sex, that's why transgender people eventually get to pass. Identities are so different from each other that you would have to have as many pronouns as names but there is no language that has that many pronouns. Pronouns are always a small and non expandable category of words.

    • @marwahaddag986
      @marwahaddag986 Před 4 lety

      nah pronouns are associated with gender, you're not gonna say "she" for an ftm person

  • @alessandraferrara240
    @alessandraferrara240 Před 7 lety +5

    respect is so much more than that.

    • @phwanta2290
      @phwanta2290 Před 2 lety

      Just tell them, they can fuck off,, they'll feel honored. Question is, who am i talking about right now.

    • @alessandraferrara240
      @alessandraferrara240 Před 2 lety +1

      @@phwanta2290 ?

  • @joshrauch9744
    @joshrauch9744 Před 5 lety +1

    the issue is about INTENT. if I intentionally mis-pronoun someone that is shitty. if i do it accidentally, its something that i can improve on with forgiveness about my mistakes

  • @xenomorph6599
    @xenomorph6599 Před 2 lety +1

    I speak English, in which the pronouns she/her are assigned to people with the female body, he/him to those with the male body, and they/them to multiple people, or those whose sex couldn't be deduced yet, e.g. someone seen from a very far distance where the features could not be made out.

    • @AWylde
      @AWylde  Před 2 lety

      As you readily acknowledge, they/them pronouns are used in English for someone whose gender “cannot be determined yet.” When the only two options are “man” and “woman,” nonbinary people basically exist in a perpetual state of gender “cannot be determined” because the two available options (according to society) are both wrong. So congrats, you nailed it!

    • @ethandalton6480
      @ethandalton6480 Před 2 lety

      "My friend will be here soon, they're running late"

  • @ginismoja2459
    @ginismoja2459 Před rokem +4

    I'll stick to reason, thanks.

  • @KE3Mchannel
    @KE3Mchannel Před 2 lety +3

    this is really confusing and hard to adjust since ive been taught differently when I started school.

  • @chesterwilberforce9832
    @chesterwilberforce9832 Před 2 lety +1

    The book "Let the Right One In" had this problem going from Swedish to English. (Spoiler alert) in one paragraph on one page you suddenly learn that "she" used to be a "he". Swedish apparently doesn't identify gender by pronoun, so reading it in English gives you this jarring sudden switch of pronouns, announcing the reveal, which kills that actually reveal in the text.

  • @thegameoftheplaygaming8654

    Why do I have to make new words to be be in my daily vocabulary ? I already used them but do I have to increase it by 80 percent??and how would I know they are non binaries?

    • @gqaso
      @gqaso Před 3 lety

      It can be used as a singular pronoun, it's grammatically correct.
      someone can also use "them" when they don't know the gender of the person they're talking about, or if it's not specified (like this sentence)
      i've done that before knowing what a non-binary person is, people disregard the meaning of they/them when it comes to respecting an nb :|
      istg this is getting tiring

  • @SunnySingh-kn2pn
    @SunnySingh-kn2pn Před 5 lety +9

    “Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men (this where we at :P) And, weak men create hard times.”
    ― G. Michael Hopf, Those Who Remain

  • @unapersona._.1896
    @unapersona._.1896 Před 3 lety +3

    I dont think its a good idea using the pronouns they them to non binary people because the clear objective of that word is reffering to plural or more people, it would be a little more specific if they use it or he or invented a new pronoum instead.
    Its really consufing calling A SINGLE PERSON they or them.

  • @6thCircleTattoos
    @6thCircleTattoos Před 3 lety +2

    I just dont get it honestly. If some one said "I didnt talk to them" I would think they were referring to multiple people. They or them registers as plural to me. Or multiple personalities. I'm trying to understand this concept and educate myself but...its just not making sense

    • @AWylde
      @AWylde  Před 3 lety

      I definitely understand how it can be a little bit confusing at first. Like all new things, it takes some time to get used to. I use they/them pronouns now, but when I first learned about them, I got it wrong A LOT! Even now I still mess up sometimes. The important thing is that you’re trying to educate yourself, and that you care. You’re doing a good job. Keep it up.

  • @ozziecomedian1786
    @ozziecomedian1786 Před rokem +2

    I Identify As A Chocolate Bar
    My Pronouns are Her/She

  • @keitenmuszynski9245
    @keitenmuszynski9245 Před 8 lety +3

    hey i just met you, and this is crazy, but what are your pronouns? I wanna respect you maybe

  • @erickvillarreal3094
    @erickvillarreal3094 Před 6 lety +26

    I’m so trying to understand. It’s getting pretty weird out there. Lol. People are going to be offended and that’s just life. But I will personally do my best to try and respect people wishes.

  • @Defcon6
    @Defcon6 Před rokem +1

    I identify with someone that does not recognize pronouns or your identity. Please celebrate my diversity that I’m not like you.

  • @alicesbeloved
    @alicesbeloved Před 3 lety +1

    So 'Wassup' with the pronoun thing? Personally I think its silly to start this with everyone because most folk identify as they appear on the outside. However...many people *do not* and to acknowledge so when that is known (and what pronoun a person wishes to be identified as) shows *respect* for a person whom has self-identified themselves differently then outward appearances. In other words it's loving all including our transgender/non binary neighbors by demonstrating inclusivity. It's akin to the fact that *family* is whomever we say they are...and *Not* what others project onto us *!* That's the reason I updated my profile to share: They/Them on my Instagram page in an act of. love (❤) and solidarity with the transgender, non-binary, etc right to self-identify.
    ✌🏽

    • @AWylde
      @AWylde  Před 3 lety +1

      That’s a great analogy. Really cool, thank you for being kind, accepting, and supportive.

    • @alicesbeloved
      @alicesbeloved Před 3 lety +1

      @@AWylde As an African American & even Christian...trust me I empathize with being ostracized sometimes for being different. And...love is love.

  • @madeinkonada
    @madeinkonada Před 4 lety +40

    I just started dating a non-binary person for the first time. Luckily I had already studied this topic and knew to bring up the pronoun subject first. Great start. But shit, my no filter stream of conciousness kind of communication is becoming a liability to me. Our language is so gendered!!!! I am a work in progress but definitely committed to doing the work. Not just for this person but for everyone out there.

    • @user-up5di8ln7g
      @user-up5di8ln7g Před 3 lety +1

      @Son Goku fuck you. Don’t use ‘retards’ as an insult, it’s highly offensive, for one thing. And the rest, I’m pretty sure you already know is untrue and offensive.

    • @thedarksideofthemoon9612
      @thedarksideofthemoon9612 Před 3 lety +4

      Lmao u had to study

    • @madeinkonada
      @madeinkonada Před 3 lety

      @@thedarksideofthemoon9612 If our society was already built for this, no one would have to deliberately learn about it. But it's not. Frankly it's not very funny. It's sad.

    • @thedarksideofthemoon9612
      @thedarksideofthemoon9612 Před 3 lety

      @@madeinkonada waa waa I wanna be call she

    • @ReverbCanvas
      @ReverbCanvas Před 3 lety +1

      @@user-up5di8ln7g fuck you, no one is forced to respect anyone, that’s something you earn

  • @CrittingOut
    @CrittingOut Před 8 lety +61

    I identify as an attack helicopter, my pronoun are woosh, swoosh and swoo
    WHAT ABOUT ME! I AM OFFENDED BY THIS SHIT

    • @michealrosen9332
      @michealrosen9332 Před 8 lety +5

      You poor soul.

    • @MatheAmpelLP
      @MatheAmpelLP Před 8 lety +3

      +San Fierro Police Officer How dare you disrespect swoo gender? #triggered

    • @CrittingOut
      @CrittingOut Před 8 lety

      San Fierro Police Officer #twiggerzd

    • @kdmscarlett2012
      @kdmscarlett2012 Před 7 lety +1

      Destiny Price you can't create a pronoun you dipshit

  • @sicktoaster
    @sicktoaster Před 8 lety +1

    So if I tell you my pronouns are master, master's, and masterself do you have to use those pronouns or else you're disrespecting me?
    Personally if I know someone wants to be called certain pronouns I'll do it, I don't care. But I'm not going to stop and ask everyone I know just in case it turns out they want to be called by certain pronouns. And besides it's ridiculous to care about it. It's like reverting to adolescence where what other people call you defines you and people have to be recognized as "Goth" or "jock" or "emos".
    If someone ever asks me what my pronouns are I'll say "he him and his, although I honestly don't really care."
    And why is the plural pronoun being recommended as the gender neutral pronoun? Why not the pronoun "one"? It's still slightly incorrect since "one" is supposed to refer to a general rather than a specific person, but it's closer to being correct than using "they". At least "one" is only rarely used for its actual purpose as a pronoun anymore, so repurposing it doesn't introduce nearly as much ambiguity into the english language as using "they" as a gender neutral pronoun.

  • @sorol79
    @sorol79 Před 3 lety +4

    Thanks Ashley! I'm going to share this with my family members who know me to be "female" and don't get the big deal about the importance of using the pronouns that I want to use, not what they think I should use. You make great, easy to understand videos. Thx!

  • @jtober82
    @jtober82 Před 2 lety +7

    I always find it amusing when people think they have a right to dictate how other people speak and what words they choose to use.

    • @ethandalton6480
      @ethandalton6480 Před 2 lety

      It's called being polite and respectful to others and being a decent person.

  • @frankvizen5480
    @frankvizen5480 Před 2 lety +1

    I can't help but feel sorry for this population.

  • @alanosmarceballosfranco7205

    Question: isnt it confusing to use they/them (a plural pronoun) when refering to a singular person? Im new in the usa so i wanna get myself educated, i see this is rather important in this context, thank you

    • @AWylde
      @AWylde  Před 3 lety +1

      Sometimes it might seem a little confusing at first, but it is okay to clarify by using a persons name. So if “they already left” is confusing, it’s fine to say “Atlas already left.” But usually it’s not very confusing. “What did they want?” We say that even for people who use she/her and he/him pronouns.

    • @chrisleigh485
      @chrisleigh485 Před 2 lety

      It’s ok. Most of us have been in the U.S. our whole lives and we don’t understand it either. But really…..when are you ever going to address someone with their pronouns? You wouldn’t ever say, “Hi! How are he/she?” We speak to people in 2nd person.

  • @curtisking5138
    @curtisking5138 Před 6 lety +16

    Pronouns do not belong to people, pronouns belong to grammar. Grammar belongs to language!
    You are free to determine which pronouns you use when you speak!
    You cannot dictate to me which pronouns to use when I speak!

    • @curtisking5639
      @curtisking5639 Před 4 lety

      Ty Pranger :Thanks and please are prepositions which are universally used to denote manners.
      Pronouns are substitutes for nouns to denote :
      -the person speaking (1st person)
      -the person speaking to (2nd person)
      -the person speaking about (3rd person)
      They also come in singular and plural
      If I’m speaking about you to someone, you are not participating in the conversation, and to butt in with requests to use particular pronouns is disrespectful and impolite.
      If I ask someone with ‘preferred pronouns’: ‘What are they doing with them?’
      1/To whom am I speaking?
      2/About whom am I speaking?

  • @Jp-re5ln
    @Jp-re5ln Před 4 lety +3

    can someone refer as they/she or they/him?

  • @wegder
    @wegder Před rokem +1

    I refuse to be forced.

  • @hawghawg381
    @hawghawg381 Před 3 lety +2

    I'm not asking. I call it as I see it! I'm not going to let a young kid like you reprogram me what to say to a man and woman! Its only 2!

  • @MadreMaven
    @MadreMaven Před 8 lety +5

    love this! love the talk of respect and opening conversation. I default to they/them so much so, I do struggle some when folks say she/her or he/him. It has become less and MORE important to me not to use descriptive pronouns in general, but also use chosen pronouns not to make anyone feel invisible like I have.

    • @pavvey1605
      @pavvey1605 Před 5 lety

      Respect is earn not giving

    • @tommyrex6648
      @tommyrex6648 Před 3 lety

      @Ty Pranger even people who are criminals or commit crimes?

    • @tysfalsehood
      @tysfalsehood Před 3 lety

      Tommy Rex An interesting idea, I suppose they don’t deserve respect, however, using non-preferred pronouns would be a strange way to disrespect a criminal if that’s what you’ve set out to do. I’m sure there’s plenty of other ways you could disrespect them in more explicit ways. That being said, most people you talk about aren’t criminals, unless you’re in prison yourself.

  • @jr9049
    @jr9049 Před 6 lety +4

    Im too scared to ask anyones pronouns bc i feel like im automatically outing myself as part of the lgbt+ community >_

    • @ArthurProMax5G
      @ArthurProMax5G Před 4 lety +3

      Soo, there's a plus version?

    • @jackmunch6978
      @jackmunch6978 Před 3 lety

      Yeah, there is no need to ask that.

    • @oof2073
      @oof2073 Před 2 lety

      @@ArthurProMax5G lmao no, it's just faster and easier this way. the + is meant to represent the left out letters of the acronym. like, here they said "LGBT+" and they add the plus to acknowledge that there are more letters - which means identities of course - within the acronym/community. i know that it goes LGBTQIA but i'm idk ^^"

  • @TheBtptube
    @TheBtptube Před 6 lety +2

    Personally I would call you what you prefer to be called but not everyone is willing to do so. Please, don’t use other people’s perception of you as validation of your existence. By doing so you are essentially living on their terms rather than your own. It would be better that you validate yourself through your own self confidence.

    • @DebbieJacksonArtist
      @DebbieJacksonArtist Před 5 lety

      Would be fair except that self-confidence is not an inviolable force. A build-up of several thousand repeated misperceptions can shatter anybody's self-confidence and self-image.

    • @xz740
      @xz740 Před 5 lety

      @@DebbieJacksonArtist It is time to grow a thicker skin. People have been calling women “sir’ or “ma’am” for decades e.g.in shops. There’s nothing wrong with it.

  • @pangapunga3693
    @pangapunga3693 Před 2 lety +1

    2021 will have flying cars
    Meanwhile in 2021:

  • @MelissaFmelimcmonkey
    @MelissaFmelimcmonkey Před 8 lety +10

    I get so excited whenever I see you have a new video, they are always so interesting :)

  • @thefinesofthetime2
    @thefinesofthetime2 Před 7 lety +6

    Many of the languages around the world do not have gender based pronouns because they do not have grammatical genders. English, however, used to have grammatical genders for nouns (As in Romance languages, Latin, and German) as it is an Indo-European language. It had lost this grammatical feature for all of its nouns except pronouns.

  • @skarootz
    @skarootz Před rokem

    If someones appearance is not clear enough indication of their gender identity I just ask that person: "How should I call you?". Isn't that enough? I'm comfortable with that and I would expect anyone else to be comfortable with that as well.

  • @pastor1689
    @pastor1689 Před 4 lety +8

    I was waiting for the punchline..............................it never came.

  • @zachnelson2624
    @zachnelson2624 Před 6 lety +22

    Ooh! You said "*man*, they're attractive!" I'm telling on you!

  • @jasfer3855
    @jasfer3855 Před 7 lety +1

    I don't think we should have to ask people what pronouns they want to be referred to as. However I do think we should respect what they want to be called. So I will continue calling people thier assigned sex as 99 percent of the population prefers to be gendered, until someone tells me themselves they specifically rather be called a different pronoun, then I will respect that decision and call them what they prefer. But I'm not going to go up to everyone and ask them what they want to be called. Sorry! I'm perfectly okay with calling someone a they though.

  • @jenileighb
    @jenileighb Před 3 lety +9

    I get confused by they them because it’s hard to say when you are talking about one.

  • @katsudone_withyou6039
    @katsudone_withyou6039 Před 7 lety +10

    I just say when i doubt use they/them pronouns until you find a good time to find out the pronouns they like

  • @thomasfleming7606
    @thomasfleming7606 Před 2 lety +1

    Making the assumption I know you better than you do? No….I just don’t care about your identity because it’s yours and your life and not really my problem if I’m honest, plus I have my own personal stuff to handle. It is an extremely personal thing and I would think not bringing it up at all would be the way to respect someone’s privacy. My issue is being forced to adhere to everyone’s individual feelings that they can change at any time. True facts don’t change, emotions and feelings do. Only you should care about your identity.

  • @navydad8916
    @navydad8916 Před rokem +1

    And this folks is how the Roman Empire fell! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @dirtyrydn
    @dirtyrydn Před 4 lety +9

    So in order to not offend someone I’m supposed to use improper grammar and refer to a single person, in the plural form?

    • @marwahaddag986
      @marwahaddag986 Před 4 lety

      yes

    • @marwahaddag986
      @marwahaddag986 Před 4 lety +3

      I mean your priorities are to deny someone's identity or to "improper grammar"

    • @marwahaddag986
      @marwahaddag986 Před 4 lety +2

      if you have a better idea for neutral pronouns then tell me

    • @dirtyrydn
      @dirtyrydn Před 4 lety +3

      I Need Coffee No. The thing is most people don’t get it, it’s dysfunctional and confusing.

    • @gqaso
      @gqaso Před 3 lety

      It can be used as a singular pronoun, it's grammatically correct.
      someone can also use "them" when they don't know the gender of the person they're talking about, or if it's not specified (like this sentence)
      i've done that before knowing what a non-binary person is, people disregard the meaning of they/them when it comes to respecting an nb :|

  • @kynathsedits
    @kynathsedits Před 8 lety +13

    I love how your videos are always something different to other youtubers. You speak from a different perspective. I like that

    • @AshleysWyldeLife
      @AshleysWyldeLife Před 8 lety +4

      +Kynath Ishtaq This is a really cool compliment, thank you very much :]

  • @alial-qasim2453
    @alial-qasim2453 Před rokem

    I am type one diabetic since a year and half ago and some people make assumptions that my diabetes was caused by sugar. It is surprising to see people complain about what pronoun are they being called! I don’t disagree nor agree with it, however I treat everyone with respect cheers.