First Time Hearing Fade to Black by Metallica | Suicide Survivor Reacts
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- čas přidán 1. 07. 2021
- #metallica #fadetoblack #firsttimehearing #reaction
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At least a dozen times a day, I'm asked how I went from being ready to end my life after two decades of clinical depression, addiction, self-harm and suicide attempts. How I was decertified (in the middle of a global pandemic mind you) as having a Serious Mental Illness by the very professional who told me that it wasn't possible and that I'd never be happy.
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Today I reacted to Fade to Black by Metallica from the Ride the Lightning album. There was a lyric that absolutely broke me. I am so appreciative for this community and for all the love and support as I navigate through some emotional waters.
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Have you seen the video for Fire Away by Chris Stapleton?
Very much a similar theme.
Very different style of music.
Something to Remind You by Staind is another one that gets me everytime.
It's a tough one if you have ever dealt with suicide or suicidal thoughts.
I'm not sure the song is necessarily about suicide but it's definitely dealing with mortality.
@Eric Beltran The Family Courts all over have a lot to answer for. Australia is no different to Utah after reading your comments. The ex was literally psychopathic, from her abusive upbringing, and the courts automatically gave her custody of our two kids - as she was "released" on day leave to be with them that day. Her psychologist had released another woman with similar story who went home and killed her son but that incident was "inadmissable" in my case...... My ex finally took her own life but left our kids alone.... It was a long time between court and seeing my kids again. They are adults now and realise what I went through was almost enough to make me as "psycho" as my ex. They are and always have been more like me than they realised at the time. I guess I made a lasting impression in a short time. Someone tried to detonate a bomb in the Family Court in the city where I lived and I totally understood them.
Please react to love hate love of Alice and Chains live.
@Eric Beltran What a cruel human to gain your trust then use your deepest secrets against you. I'm so sorry such a misdirected person took so much from you. I hope that you know that you can open up here any time and I will fight to the death to defend you and everyone else here from toxicity, hate and judgment. Thank you for sharing your story, I know it's hard to open up, but I hope knowing that not all humans are awful and some of us will have your back will bring you even the tiniest amount of comfort. I also hope you get to see your son soon and he still sees how much you love him.
This song has saved so many people's lives simply by informing them that they are not alone in how they feel.
Even if this song would have saved just one life, it would still mean more than 100 mio sold records.
@@kazuhiramiller1996 Can you explain please? I don't know what you meant by that.
@@bezdaknebomizera he means the value of a single life saved exceeds the value of millions of records sold
@@torbenmoholt3031 Oh. My bad, I see it now. I misread it as that even though only 1 live was saved, there would still be millions sold... Which didn't make much sense.
Thank you for explaining.
@@bezdaknebomizera no problem good sir
The line that always gets me is "I was me, but now he's gone." So much meaning and emotion from 7 words
Yeah, that's a tough one!
Hes a fucking poet thats for sure
That is me. I don't recognize my face in the mirror anymore. Prayers for all of us going through this
Yup. That line gives me chills everytime
I've felt exactly like this several times in my life, I've contemplated it before and never told anyone, I've hit absolute bottoms and couldn't take the despair, I'm so glad I reached out and I'm so glad you're still here to, my girlfriend and I just recently had a friend end their life and it devestated everyone and he never said a word, no signs and no warnings.
I was nineteen
In the midst of drug addiction
Losing the one I love to addiction
Sitting in my apartment with the gun to my head
Waiting for this song to end
And my roommate came home
And stop me
Don't know what would happen if he didn't come home
It's thirty five years later
And this song still brings chills to me
God bless your roommate for helping you and I’m glad you’re still here my friend! This song is so emotional yet speaks so clearly to all of us!
As a veteran who has survived 4 suicide attempts,this song hits me especially hard
First of all, thank you for your sacrifice. Second, I'm happy that you're still here. I hope that you find the peace that you deserve.
Man, I dont know you. I hope you keep hanging on. There is another bright morning. Greets from the other side of the world !
hang in there, friend. fellow vet, OIF III. It's worth it, it gets better. it's worth it to endure.
Yo, snuffie…whether you can see it or not, hear it or not…your six is got. Know it, Brother. Forever.
Whether you were Corps or not…Semper fucking Fi.
You ain’t alone.
Just wake up tomorrow. Please.
I’m glad you’re still with us!
From a 1991 GuitarWorld interview with James Hetfield of Metallica. "That song was a big step for us. It was pretty much our first ballad, so we knew it would freak people out... Recording that song, I learned how frustrating acoustic guitar can be. You could hear every squeak, so I had to be careful. I wrote the song at a friend's house in New Jersey. I was pretty depressed at the time because our gear had just been stolen, and we had been thrown out of our manager's house for breaking shit and drinking his liquor cabinet dry. It's a suicide song, and we got a lot of flak for it, as if kids were killing themselves because of the song. But we also got hundreds of letters from kids telling us how they related to the song and that it made them feel better."
I hate that people blame suicide on media or songs. Nobody hears a song and says "Oh wow! Suicide sounds fun!" If the song pushed them, they were already there to begin with. Far more people are helped by lyrics they can relate to. We feel less alone.
@@MentalAmanda This song has saved many lives including my fellow veterans . Keep the faith and be strong !
You really need to react to Kix- Don't close your eyes. That song has saved so many kids. You really need to hear that song.
I'll probably be thinking about songs that fit your mental health platform. But I'll just give you two more that speaks so powerfully, Queensrysche, I know I butchered the name but their song silent lucidity, such an awesome song.
The other band you could spend years on their songs, but the one song that always gets me, from the album The Final Cut, the song The Final Cut. The song builds up to why people are afraid to open up to suicide until the last line. Tears always fall listening to that song.
He’s also said in later interviews that the song gives all kinds of different new feelings it also reminds him of cliff a lot and there times together writing this song. Cliff wrote the harmony to fade to black and put most of the song together
My mom used to say to me "youre so angry, this angry music" and I had to explain to her I was already angry and lost, the music taught me I wasn't alone, I could talk about it, and it can get better. A lot of metal songs deal with tough emotions like this, it helped a lot of people like me get through the tough times. To this day I find most metal soothing yet empowering for that reason
you are not alone, something hat that is hard to quantify. your a good person.
Sleepy dragon, I'm still here because some...what others may call dark lyrics...got me through some of my darkest days. We metalheads speak truth and try to help one another...and if someone tells you different...they aren't a metalhead or don't completely comprehend the bond we all have. Stranger or friend, you have my helping hand if in need...if you are truly genuine in your asking hand of need for help, I will help, but if if you're playing games to get a reaction...you don't need my help and aren't really metal. Just my stance and opinion!
Yep. It's annoying how non-metal fans think it's just screaming about the devil into a microphone and inspires people to become serial killers.
If anything, it's the exact opposite. It's cathartic. Devin Townsend is a perfect example of this. He's bipolar and struggled with substance abuse. Making extreme metal albums with Strapping Young Lad as well as solo releases played a role in building his way towards sobriety (which he still is to this day).
I can relate man, for me metal music helps me whenever I'm going through tough times as well, the lyrics just touch me every time in a way that I can't really explain, it makes me feel I can do anything, and just I find what I wanna say to the world at those times in the lyrics
Been dealing with the same since about 1985. Some people just don't understand catharsis.
Lost my dad in December of 2021. He was 91. Mom had passed away in April 2018. They had been married 67 years. When she died, dad took it real hard. Our last conversations before he passed would always include how he wished God would take him in his sleep. This song helped me understand why.
Listen to the original studio version, there’s 2 stories being told. The lyrics are depression but the music hope and striving to survive. Absolutely my favorite Metallica song for the struggle.
Yeah you described that well. That’s is dead on what it is , like question and answer in music theory - good observation
Metallica sang about mental illness long before it was talked about. As kids, we could relate to the words and the metal guitar riffs and drums made us feel that we were not alone because there was no asking for help, no one to check if we were doing OK, we had to deal with it or check out. This music spoke to us, it was our therapy. It got me through some hard ass times and I'm forever grateful for them. Parents thought it was garbage but it was our therapy. Headbanger forever! ❤🤘❤🤘
True. I didn't need therapy - I had music.
Couldn't agree more
Mary Anne's place by volbeat triggers sometimes. Listen to voice of the soul by death. Instrument that has feelings
Black Sabbath….late 60s
To be fair, this song is about them losing all their equipment because it got stolen. I understand what you mean though😅
I suffer from depression but metal gives me so much joy.
I am 62 but feel 20 again at a concert.
Saw Metallica three times during a hard time in my life and the music pulled me through.
One thing I learned, perhaps with age is the dark times don’t last forever. Suicide is not the answer, good times may seem far away but they are just over the horizon.
Absolutely love your comment. Respect.
im 51 Never had depression, BUT when i am Sad or depressed I Listen to Metal & BAM Sadness GONE.
It suck so hard to hear from someone older that they still suffer from depression makes the small hope feel just..
Hey do Not go through that path! We all need love in r hearts. May I suggest 2 u a song from PRINCE!? The song is called THE "LADDER".
hell yeah metal head for life. i love how we could love this music together, even though im 26 and you are 62 metal will always be metal and thats metal.
You're strong to listen to this. The lyrics must hit you like a sledgehammer. I'm weeping just posting this.
"I wasn't expecting this" --- the words uttered by virtually all of us the first time we really listen to Metallica. thank you for sharing. Hope you are doing OK.
This is why we love metal. Because it's pure emotion and it gives us an outlet and something to relate to
Beautifully put together sir!🤟
@A A your mom
yeah and not getting our minds to work will lead us to no thing but hill
emotions are stupid
and as my dad says, "I listen to metal because sometimes you get so frustrated you just wanna scream, but in metal they scream for you". its good music, and it releases pain in an energetic way
That's why I love GWAR.
Metallica was hitting the nail on the head with subjects like depression, suicide, addiction, PTSD, etc... at a time when most of the world's musicians were doing the same old tired, generic love songs. Sending all the strength in the world from a fellow struggler.
I'm agree with you.
". at a time when most of the world's musicians were doing the same old tired, generic love songs" So you mean pop music for like ever? These subjects were not uncommon outside pop.
That's one of the reasons I listen to metal actually. While other genres of music rarely touch on these darker kinds of topics, metal touches them on the regular. Makes you reflect on these things and acts as an energy release (as I like to call it) and, at least in my case, brings calm to a place that was previoulsy dominated by tension. That's why I always tell people that havinng some metal music in you life is good for you and I will hold that till the day I die.
@@elvistek2062 Yes, that's why i only listen rock and metal music. In 90's the grunge bands touch darkness and sadness. I like music with some meaning, in fact i listen Lana del Rey too because in some of her lyrics you can feel the pain deep inside you. That's the power of metal and rock, not only powerful music but the lyrics.
Metallica was...past time... now they are Miley Cyrus' openers 🤮
This track is 40 years old and stood for everything to me as a teenager lost. In that time mental health awareness was not available and the only way to relate and talk was through music. This album is one of those tracks I am truly grateful for as it saved my life xx
Legendary music like this has a power that we don't fully understand. Glad to hear it helped you through rough times, as it did for me as well. 👍
This one does that 👍🏻 Stay up
100% with you on that.
Amen Brother
I always think “saying goodbye” from James and to the listener is just saying goodbye to those thoughts of suicide and choosing to live , not implying the opposite of saying goodbye to loved ones in a suicide note. A real message of hope to hold on and you’ll get through this ❤️
It seems like this song has had it's moment for all of us. Evidenced by: the entire crowd singing along every single word with heart
I recently saw Metallica, live, and they played this. I cried. My mom committed suicide last yr. And I found out on Thanksgiving Day
This band saved me from darkness, death and sorrow. I owe my life, my personality and all good things in my life to Metallica and definitely metal/rock genre.
"Master of Puppets" helped me to stop using. Every time I would start feeling weak I would listen to it and remember that I will never come crawling for a hit again. They're awesome. 14 years sober :)
@@kristinahull2434 Same feelings right? Givin you power to keep it up. Stay with peace Kristina. Wish you good life... 🤘🤘
Wokers
@@constantine5457 *dies from cringe*
Metallica become the way of life of many people. They give us happyness
As someone who struggled with suicide and depression, this is one of the greatest songs of all time. I dont know how the fuck they wrote this tbh, its miraculous.
five finger death punch stopped me from killing myself when my brother got shipped out to war i was soos scared
If I recall correctly, James wrote this song after someone robbed all of their instruments, their livelihood, and they had to start all over again. from what I know, it was a really dark time to Metallica and the band almost ended there.
they wrote this age 22/23 by that age many people would still be in college and its even more impressive when you think about all the other songs they had made at that point which had heavy hitting meaning. creeping death (the story of exodus), ride the lightning (man sentenced to death by electric chair but was innocent), for whom the bell tolls (horrors of war) there's probably more I need to look into, this stuff is addictive
@@empty3293 Yes, I'm an extreme metal guy, but I always come back to Metallica. The universality and relatability of their music is 2nd to none.
@@empty3293 Actually James wrote this when he was 20 shortly after their gear was stolen in January of 1984. Their album Ride The Lightning was released in July of 84 just before his 21st birthday. I still agree with everything else you said... but it's even more impressive that he was even younger than you had said.
I have heard this song upteen times but have never seen a survivor react to it I actually cried watching her now I can never listen to this song without thinking of her God bless you girl hope you’re doing great and to anyone who is depressed or suicidal it’s never to late!
Metallica got me through some of the toughest times in my life. I wish you all the best, Amanda and when things are dark, I will say to you what James often says at the end of concerts: "The Metallica Family loves you and you are NOT alone!"
Jame Hetfield constantly wrote about the fear of loss...of losing himself, of losing control. Too many people can't get past the "angry" tone to actually listen to the message, and their music is SO powerful. Nothing Else Matters and One are both really great songs along this same line.
Nothing else matters is defenetly a great song. But -and this might be desresprectfull to James- it‘s not a good Metallica song.
When I think of Metallica, I think of HIT THE LIGHTS and Cliff Burton playing the intro of For Whom The Bell Tolls like he wrote it before living on earth.
The Message of Kill ‘Em All was We‘re Metallica and there is no life ‘till leather! That‘s already at least as good as writing about things on Ride The Lightning.
@Der Duuude Take that for what..Someone who can't spell "Definitely" is worth! Lol. Pulling teeth' anesthesia"
@@akatripclaymore.9679 Oh, yes! I‘m so sorry for cannot spelling “definitely“ as a German in year nine because I use this word so often. My feelings of guilt are indescribable. At least I don‘t reduce the opinions of people based on their spelling skills.
@@derduuude4695 not everything has to be hard guy.
One is about the book "Johnny got his gun"
As someone who tried to overdose myself in 2019 of April, I am glad you’re here. I’m glad you’re alive. You’re a very kind soul, this world needs you.
I'm glad you're here too!
This isn't a bad version...similar to when I saw them in Vegas back in 2004. The two best live performances I have seen from them were both from 1991. One was in Seattle with the other being in Moscow shortly after the Soviet Union crumbled with hundreds of thousands in the crowd at any given time. The studio version from the Ride The Lightning album is epic. I am a surv;vor as well (July 2015). Two songs that I turn to when trying to avoid the suicidal thoughts and regain inspiration are Lateralus from Tool and The Impossible Dream from the movie Don Quixote.
The world need you too, remember that.
@@markhanson7035 if it is the music video or a live version this song is a shit kicking legendary rock classic!
Glad YOU'RE here too Nick!
It is brave and respectful to have to put up with this song until the end, knowing that it awakens emotions that you no longer want to feel. I really admire your determination
James wrote this stuff in his early 20’s. He is a true guitar riff legend, so people forget that he is one of the best song writers in the world
Not just his stuff but gear his other gave him close to before she passed away when he was 16.
@@TheKartoffel101 he's talking about the song, not the meaning behind it
Metallica took a lot from Mercyful Fate in the early days . Listen to the album Melissa and you will recognize a lot.
@@JWilks-lk7th Most of metallica discography is higly influenced by a lot of bands to the point that many songs have literally copied riffs xD James is good at lyrics at playing the guitar but he was not too Original with the riff writting sometimes, lets be honest
Lars too write alots of stuff in metallica stop fanboying james….
The thing that makes James Hetfield a great vocalist is his ability to convey so much emotion through every word he sings.
What emotion is "ah" cause he adds that to every word lol
He's very underrated as a lyricist
@@christinabierod7317 loool this had me dying hahahahaha
@@christinabierod7317 OOOOO YEAahhhh!!!
In my opinion James Hetfield is a musical genius, the music he writes, the lyrics he writes, are just perfect.
I realize this reaction video is 2 years old. But your message is timeless. I hope you know how much you touch our hearts with your reactions. I was not able to keep up with you because I could not clearly hear the lyrics as he was singing. But I looked up the lyrics, and now I understand. I feel it. I can connect with this. Back in college I hit what for me was my lowest point. I was facing such a depression, I climbed up on the guardrail of a bridge over the highway, and I was ready to jump. Sure not a large fall, but the traffic speeding by surely would have finished me off. I have not shared this much detail with many folks, but I feel like you are listening to me.....I don't know if this is the right place to share but I will keep going anyway. I felt a large hand reaching out and landing on my chest, and I swear to this day that I heard a voice telling me, "don't do this, I have better things in store for you." That was nearly 40 years ago now, and I can confidently say that was God, and He has been doing many better things in my life since. But, yes, I say all that to say, I get it. I'm right there with you. Thank you, Amanda, for using your platform to not only share the music and entertain us, but to share your story with us and let us all know that we are not alone. I know now that I was not alone back then, and I am not alone now working thru my grief over losing my wife of over 26 years just 5 months ago. God is still taking care of me. God bless you.
This is the perfect place to share! Thank you for opening up 💖 I'm happy that you had something save you that day!
God, through your angel guide. Some addicted guy told me exactly the same situation, with a hand holding him from killing himself, months ago. Now he left drugs behind and works to help others get rid of their addictions. I highly recommend you to read some books from Alan Kardec to know a bit more about spiritism and how we're not alone. Hope your soul is fine.
I first saw this video a while ago when i was not in a good place mentally, and you're honesty helped me deal with my own stuff. I'm grateful that you shared this, and I'm happy you're still here. Thank you.
This isn't only heavy metal, its pure art. Metallica perfected this art form. There is a reason they are the best selling metal band ever and one of the biggest selling artists in history. They are more than just music.
Yes your so right, I just can't imagine this world without METALLICA. 😎
The Metallica song that always gets to me is "Mama Said". My mom died 23 years ago and I recently moved back to my home town where she is buried. The lyrics "I need your arms to welcome me, but a cold stone's all I see" just hits me so hard.
My mom passed in 07 and sometimes I sit by her ashes and just fall apart.
@@MentalAmanda My mum passed in 2015, my dad in 2017. They used to love traveling around Europe, so their ashes were both given to the sea thanks to a local lifeboat crew, and we like to imagine them traveling the world together in the currents, finding places they never had the chance to visit in life.
Mine died last year... can't hear this song anymore... cry fest just starts
@@Skraeling1000 That is beautiful!
@@LuisRdzG10 My dad died on May 16 last year.
Metallica and Video games help with my depression and social anxiety. This song is an absolute masterpiece
addiction always helps
The great thing about Metallica is that they specialize in making songs that really are deep and hit hard in the emotional quadrant. They don't advocate things like suicide but help people understand the pain that those of us who have gone through or are going through these things feel.
Look at this song from a positive perspective. This is a person sharing his inner turmoil and agony, the worst thoughts in their head, and being able to walk away from it by sharing it with millions of others in the world. By doing so, they also likely saved thousands of others from themselves by giving them somebody they could relate to, and not feel so alone.
I love that the song ends with "death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye" -- which sounds like it ends offering no hope, yet that lyric has resonated with so many and literally saved countless lives. I'm now 40 and I can truly say Metallica and a few other bands were the THERAPY THAT KEPT ME ALIVE throughout my teens when I felt entirely alone, hopeless, and didn't want to live.
Alan I know exactly what you mean.
I myself am almost 40 and when I was around 16 on a very dark and lonely night a Metallica song came on my CD player a song I listened to hundreds of times but I guess never really heard before that night.
That song was The Unforgivin and it literally took my finger off the trigger so I truly believe I owe my life to Metallica.
@@mcasto83 Dude, that brought tears to my eyes. To think, we were both going through hopelessness around the same time. I'm so thankful you're still here. I'm so thankful we're BOTH still here. Music is medicine! Yes, I see myself in The Unforgiven quite a bit, too. Incredible to hear how that great song saved your life. As James says to the crowd at the end of the song whenever they play it live: "Forgive yourself!" I've had to learn that over and over myself through times of deep self-loathing. Be well, friend.
@@AlanRaviAtchison Yea man crazy the coincidence I'm glad your still here too my friend music I'd definitely therapy.
I got to see Metallica live for the first time here about 5 years ago and when they played The Unforgivin I was teary-eyed the hole time and that was the first time I heard James say forgive yourself and I broke ugly cried in front of 80+ thousand "family members". I try to use my experience to help others going through hard things especially people that haven't tried music therapy.
I wish you all the best my friend
Hi Alan
🙋🏼♀️ I was a teenager in the 80s! I was so fortunate to see Metallica in person in The late 80s! I love music from the 60s all the way through to the 90s the Best! I also lost a father who was killed in the Vietnam war! Sad metal songs are the best, painful at times also! So glad to hear you’re into it! 💜 Shawndra VH
@@mcasto83 🙋🏼♀️ hi Mike, your message to Alan, was so heartfelt! How are you feeling nowadays?
💜 Shawndra VH
Fade to Black is a song I wish I couldn’t relate to. I’m almost 19 and when I was 15 I went through the worst time of my life. So much happened to me mentally from 15 to 16. I thankfully never had the urge to take my life but I always felt like there was this dark cloud surrounding me and just kept getting bigger. It got to a point where I was just existing and wasn’t living, I literally never felt happy. The biggest factor in that was being off of my medications for half a year because my insurance got screwed with. I do believe because of that I have long term psychological issues since I have been on medication my entire life and was taken off of them for so long. I am so greatful I am now mostly healed from that period of time but it was pure hell. I truly hope other people don’t have to experience that because it does feel like impending doom.
Words cannot describe how brave you are, my friend. Your story is one that will surely capture the hearts of many, and what you're doing right now for those who suffer from mental health is absolutely amazing. Sending much love and many hugs from Australia. Stay strong. We're in it together. All of us.
As a suicide survivor myself I just want to THANK YOU and say that I AM GLAD YOU ARE STILL HERE and that I am glad you have this channel on here. I really love your reactions to songs and I love that you still being here gives you a chance to react to these things. You may or may not think you are making a difference, but I want you to KOWN that you are truly and deeply making a difference. Reacting to these kinds of songs is just as important as the song itself because people that are suffering need to understand that others have been in similar situations and made it through to the other side and that there is hope for all of us.
I'm proud of you too and happy you are still here!
Metalheads everywhere who grew up on this song, hearing exactly what you are now, are offering you a hug when we see your face in the middle of the 2nd verse.
Yes,he's right,we are.
Couldn't put it any better, brother.
Yes we are .......
Absolutely! 🎸
Absolutely 🤘❤️
I tried to commit suicide as an early teen. I had a terrible childhood. Although the torture stopped at 11 yrs old, at 15 it was still continuing mentally. Queensryche came along and their second album "The Warning" saved me. It spoke to me positively telling me there was hope through out the whole album. The next 3 albums did the same but I was hooked and saved at the warning. I thank God for putting them in my life.
One of the deepest and most gut punching songs ever, next to One. It pains me that I'm not able to be around someone to give a hug or something. :(
It's amazing how James can transition so smoothly between acoustic and electric.
"I cannot stand, this hell I feel", Fade To Black completely changed my life. Thanks Metallica
In Metallica’s recent performance at Lalapalooza James Hetfield (The singer) made a really powerful statement about suicide right before they entered the Part II of the song. It’s really nice seeing Metallica speak out about mental health and letting people know that they’re not alone and to seek help or to direct someone to help. We need more of this from celebrities and people with a following.
They do that every time now, I saw them a few times recently and it's a wonderful thing
i came here to say the same thing. Saw them in Buffalo and it made me cry.. \m/ \m/
Yep, last summer in Madrid, Spain, He gave an emotional and powerful speech in which he said, among other things, that we are not alone and that we are all one family.
I am a suicide survivor. My brother took his life a month ago
The music was quite often all we had. That’s why Hetfield, Dio, Halford, Tate and SO many others were important to us. This song was written during the time when far too many teens were checking out permanently. To a lot of us, they were the only ones who heard us.
Hey. I want you to know. I went through depression twice. Metallica is the band that made me discover guitar and their music saved my life. You are not alone! You’re strong, you’re beautiful, loved and cared for! Peace and love to you!!❤❤❤❤
Amanda thank you so much for this reaction. I am glad you are here and I am so happy that I got to see this video. Metal music and especially Metallica helped me get through some tough times with depression and being alone. There are a ton of bands that actually helped at different times and it just felt like it came along at the right time for me. Megadeth was another big one for me.
I applaud you for being able to talk about your experiences and share them so intimately. Bravery comes in many forms and being strong is more than just physical strength. I’m a recovering addict, sober for 7 years now, but I can relate to nothing else mattering and feeling alone at my lowest point. We all possess the power to pick ourselves up and I truly appreciate you shining a light on mental health. You are a warrior.
Proud of you for your recovery! Three years for me as of last month!
That’s awesome!!! Great work!
“Emptiness is filling me, to the point of agony” sheesh that one hit ridiculously hard every time back when I was down bad
i was severly bullied in my friend group in middle school, and I felt trapped. piled on top of all that was the loss of my grandfather, I went spiraling into depression and I had suicidal thoughts. i found this song and it helped me climb out of that hell and I owe my life to this masterpiece and to metallica
Amanda. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. You are one of the (much too) few genuinely sincere reactors on CZcams.
As someone who has had several suicide attempts over my life, Metallica talked about mental illness before it was “cool” to do so I remember this song as a kid, it spoke to me and I didn’t feel so alone, and that was a feeling of warmth and safety. To know that your not alone in your journey is such a huge thing.
While I have grown to hate the social media world, it has done some good. With Amanda and others being able to reach out, we can more easily see that we truly are not alone.
You suck and dying so life the life you are worthy of living!! Suicide is not worth taking lightly but every person has a beautiful meaning to another in life. Everyone needs another to move on. Suicide is a not the answer but a thought in the mind. Let a warm hand hold your soul. We are here for each other. I promise!!!
*cries for attention
sad how by doing this, as well as using acoustic guitars, they considered sellouts
Who ever called mental health “cool” tho
Gosh! I'm 43 y/o teacher, father of two pretty girls, a heavy metal fan since 1992 and this, oh, God, this made me cry. Even today I still argue with some guys who still says that heavy metal is only noise and yells, specially living in a non english speaking country. Heavy Metal helped me a lot when I was an ultra shy teenager, afraid of the world. I live in the middle of Pantanal, in Brazil. But today I'm there with you, by your side. Be Strong! And thank you for one of the most beatiful vídeos I've EVER seen.
I was 12 In 2001 i got the iowa cd for Slipknot, And played it on my cd players, my mom was like a country fan he she caught be and yeah same i argue with friends because i listen to metal. It’s annoying
You are a Wonderful Human Being. I too cry when I listen to this song as well. Also, "Cemetery Gates" by Pantera.
RIP Dime and my late fiance Moni.
Peace and Brightest Blessings Always 🙏
Please Be Safe Everybody 😷💉
One of my favourite heavy metal bands was from Brazil called Sepultura. Peace from New Zealand irmão :)
May The Aryans be healed.
Wandir, I feel as though the mold used to make you made me as well. we share so many characteristics. may the rest of your journey though life be a great one.
Glad you found METALLICA! They've helped me get thru some serious shit. Been listening to them and been a huge fan for almost 30 years! You're adorable and I'm sure you're a wonderful person. You have a LOT to offer even tho it may seem at times that you don't and that your life is pointless. You will find your purpose one day. I believe in you!
First and foremost, glad your still with us !! This song hits me hard too, and teared up watching your reaction. Stay strong 💪🏽✌🏽
Amanda, good for you bringing to light that this is real and there is a way to overcome darkness. I've had my own struggles and being in community with others that have had the brightness shine through is a beautiful way to reach those in need!
I remember being at the lowest point in my life back in my youth, struggling & alone trying to make ends meet. For real, this song saved my life.
Same ❤️ if you look James Hetfield’s story , it will inspire you and bring you to tears at the same time
Yep same here, my best friend was suicidal and loved this song. Accidentally paused it while he was... well into it... he almost killed me for pressing the pause button. We are still friends to this day.
Oh, you found the legendary depression's anthem. This was written when the lead singer and frontman James Hetfield lost his guitar amp that her late mom bought to him, actually it was stolen... so yeah... heavy stuff lyrically
His late Mom who James thought died needlessly. Her faith prevented her from seeking any treatment from her illness, chronicled in the song "The God that Failed".
@@Gunderson105,
when a hurricane hit an area, and the area flooded, a man went on his roof and prayed for help.
A boat came and he refused help. He said god would save him.
2 more boats came, yet he refused to go.
Eventually he died. When he went to heaven he asked god why he wasn't saved.
God replied, "I sent 3 boats, you fool."
Every time I am feeling down, I have to back and watch this.
It picks me up to have followed you for a while and seen you climb up through things.
Thank you for living better.
This is one of the deepest and most compelling videos I’ve ever watched. This is the first of your videos I’ve seen. Love Metallica and I know some people hate this song because of the lyrics. It’s true no one but you can save yourself but as long as you breathe it’s never too late. Will watch more of your videos. Keep on going. No fading only getting brighter.😊
Back in the 80's when this came out it ment a lot to a lot of kids that someone they look up to had the same feelings they did. It ment a lot.
To live is to die dedicated to there lost friend Cliff Burton
It's also an instrumental
"When a man lies, he murders some part of the world
These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives
All this I cannot bear to witness any longer
Cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home?"
great song. that one riff (y’all know the one) gives me chills every damn time
It was bands and music like this which helped me know I wasn't alone and gave me hope. Embracing and accepting these emotions are what wins the fight!❤
I applaud and admire your bravery. The fact that you are sharing your experiences on the cesspool that CZcams can be shows how courageous and even heroic you are. (And I hope commenters respect you for it if nothing else.) That song meant a lot to me during some of my own darkest days and (like Black Sabbath before them) actually kept me *in* the game because it showed me that I wasn't alone! It became one of my anthems during college and beyond.
The power of music in general (and metal in particular) can be life-affirming and life-changing. I wish you nothing but health, happiness and superlative success in your continuing beautiful journey!!
Not gonna lie, I tear up at this song knowing that its helped so many people and saved them from killing themselves. My brother, who is also a suicide survivor, introduced me to this song a few days ago- I can tell this song has helped him too
I'm a 23yr survivor. This song saved me. There's no hidden message, no ambiguity, no meaning really at all to the song. It's simply one thing. A pure and unadulterated description of the darkness I lived in. Which left me with a single undeniable fact. Someone else out there truly understood that darkness, I was not alone. Shrinks, psychologists, family, friends, lovers they don't understand. They can't. James did. And if he could understand, there were others who understood, I was far from alone. Simply knowing I had so many brothers and sisters in the darkness, that I was so far from being alone was the straw that broke the hold the darkness had on me. The message is simple, it's clear, it's undeniable, no matter how dark, no matter how alone a person may feel, there ARE ppl out there who truly understand. Been there, done that, got a closet full of t-shirts from it.
I'm glad you're still here!
I came to the same conclusion 30 years ago when TBA dropped and the roam tour hit my city, and to this day i haven't found anything that hits the nail on the head like this.
that was so beautifully written and youre so right i love the last line youre so right
In the darkness, it's hard to see the others there with you. 😶🌫
But sometimes, you can hear them. 🎸
And when their song gathers us all together, we form a crowd big enough to shatter that darkness. 🤘
I work in an adolescent psych unit. I wonder if this song would help them, since I know most have never heard it. This song constantly saves me, too. It’s a song that reflects my pain.
I never been deeply concerned but watching your video has affected me so much I'm with all my heart with you and yes fade to black is nothing less of who we are, nothing but memories and pain
Omg I hope you're OK. such a beautiful person . The world needs more people like you ❤️
The album version is much more intense, especially at the end when it fades out. Cliff's bass had chorus for that section and would bring me into another world. Still moves me to this day. RIP Cliff 🙏
Which section of the song are you talking about?
@@stackertheeod7566 basically the last solo, when Lars starts double bassing
Cliff is the best bassist and dime is best guitarist. change my mind.
@@henryr.schrader7520 why would I want to change your mind when it's right?
"Cannot stand this hell I feel......." is what I went thru in High School being bullied very badly. I was one day away from suicide myself, but I kept telling myself that I need to get thru these few years and things will get better....... METALLICA also saved me because I could just sit back and let them take me away from reality!!! STAY STRONG even thru the darkest of times Amanda!!!
Same here. Bullied. Thoughts of ending it. This song and this band let me know I wasn't alone. Life has been a struggle, but I am glad that I have seen my children grown, and working daily to be the person I want to see my kids grow up to be.
Learn to fight. If you stand up for yourself, the bullies will fear you
well, i was bullied for maybe months in elementary until this kid broke my pencil. i swiped that pencil (john wick?) over that pricks face. lucky for me it only hit the bridge of his nose. then this bigger classmate of mine annoyed me so i waited downstairs and clocked that sob in the face. i'm a small skin and bones kid at the time.
i went through something similar and i graduated 26 years ago...
First time visiting one of your uploads.
Thank you for sharing such a raw and heartbreaking moment with us.
Sometimes hearing another's trouble can help pull you out of what you are feeling.
Empathy is so important.
You are a beautiful soul and we are all better because you are here. Don't stop sharing your message.
Kirk Hammett actually said he had a lot of emotions while writing so he put all of that into his solos and that’s why it sounds like there so much emotion behind the solos
I personally feel that the outro solo is not the same live, as the original on the record. You can truly feel the agony and the emotional presence in the recorded version. Due to the amount of emotion you can feel in every note, that is my favorite solo of all time
@@JohnSmith-so4qg fr I feel like you can hear the emotion in that Outro so deep in live versions you can hear it has no we’re near as heart into it as the studio recording
The lyrics of Metallica's song "One" and the backstory of it is absolutely heartbreaking. The mental anguish of that man is the worst I can imagine. I served overseas and knew people who lost parts of themselves physically and mentally. To lose it all and still live within a prison of yourself is unimaginable.
Thank you for your service. And yes, the prison of the mind is the worst Hell imaginable.
The backstory that One is based on a book by Dalton Trumbo?
The very same, albeit in different style, is Death's "Pull the Plug" (I freaking love that song (and band) to bits!). Every time I listen to that song it just reminds me that I would never want to end up in that situation. Euthanasia is not legal in my country and it's a thing that drives me nuts!
Metallica is the reason that my father wouldn't have me go to war. One, and Disposable Heroes were the nails in the coffin.
To all those who served serving us now, a big thankyou for looking out for us while looking after yourself your family and friends gone or still with us in my mind your auwsome my dad was in tje RAF and because he was a jehovas witness he was bullied for his religion but he was doing is bit from 47 to 53 i think but he told before he passed don't let it show but i could'nt but i know what he means now and to hear your comment on metallica song it fetvhed it all back. But from me i will stand were ever i am i stand with pride and love for the men before and after who looked after all of us THANKYOU SKYLER SMALL thankyou from uk kev im only on my phone new to all this .
To go through what you have and still sit through this song, I have no words to describe how brave that is.
I know James has had at least one breakdown after singing this song. Like many rock stars he suffers from substance abuse and this song means allot to him. The lyrics hit me very hard, as I know how that feels. I suffer extreme anxiety witch caused extreme depression, so I'm with you all the way! You are young and smart and beautiful so HOLD ON!
James went sober over a decade ago he knew is was sobriety of lose his family he chose family he has my respect for it
James' childhood is really, really sad. It continued to haunt him even when he made it as a big name in the music industry, he bought his estranged father a mansion in the hope of reconciling only to die on him shortly after. His alcohol addiction worsened and never left him to this day with the latest breakdown being his divorce.
He relapsed sometime before S&M2 and they cancelled a huge leg of their world tour because he re-entered rehab.
He's looking and sounding the best he has in a long time though. Stay strong brother
Her reaction when James says “goodbye.” She says “oh no!” I think she was hoping it wouldn’t be a sad ending to the song and it really gutted her by the looks of it. Her emotion looked very real. BUT, like others on here are saying, James writing those lyrics perfectly summing up how a lot of us felt as teenagers made us feel that we weren’t alone. Metallica got me through high school. No doubt about it. Couldn’t have made it through alive without them.
I am sorry you feel so hurt. I feel like like that most of the time. Please be safe in knowing that you are loved by the people you are helping with your thoughts of caring and talking through these videos. I feel a little better when I watch your videos and listen to your words of wisdom, no matter how small they seem to you. I am wishing you good thoughts and prayers in your journey.
You are loved too!
I understand how hard it Can be, I'm so glad your here, your a good person, with a heart of gold, hope your well, know this review was done awhile ago but still wanted to leave a comment. ❤ thank you
Ironically, this song, back in the day, PREVENTED many youths from following through on their plan to end their lives. I guess it made them think twice, made them really fathom the magnitude of death and the decision they're about to make, and/or just made them feel a little less alone, like "wow, someone else GETS it (what I'm feeling/going through"...
Whatever the reason, it's a great redeemer of metal, which got so much vitriol from parents and teachers who deemed metal music as a "cause/reason" kids be killing themselves. The irony there is that if anything drove those kids to suicide, it was all those overbearing, micromanaging, controlling adults in their lives, suffocating them with rules and "values" and conformity and compliance and impossible expectations.
Which brings to mind another song : Who's To Blame by Sacred Reich
I can completely understand how it did that. When we are in that darkness, we just need to feel less alone.
@@MentalAmanda
That's what music in general did for me, regardless of subject matter. Music was my perfect escape. It inspired my drawing, gave me the strength to get through really bad/dark experiences... I've never turned to drugs or booze or any other vices like that... but I did develop a music addiction in that it results in a massive CD collection, lol. One of the better "addicitions", though., I would say. No less expensive, but much healthier. :-)
@@BlackieNuff It's an addiction for me too!
agreed - it helped so many of us metal heads with our depression as it reminded us we were not alone.
no one but me can save myself
This song has saved my life so many times in 30+ years - by the time you get to that beautiful closing solo you want to live forever.
❤
It always gives me a strong feeling of being alive too, it's cathartic.
Thank you for your channel, couple year back I lost my bru from another ma, he is greatly loved & missed. This channel help’s to appreciate music but more importantly the lyrics talk for those like myself whom is a suicide survivor but thise lost what they must have been thinking planning & doing bless you all here but bless fly high those we’ve lost to this tragedy’s
Love you sweet keep up the amazing work stay strong we all love you Mental Amanda x
I was introduced to metallica a lot of years ago thanks to my cousin, who is like a brother to me. But my first time hearing FTB was last year, and my first reaction was just like Amanda's. Like if I was being confronted by my own thoughts and felt how bitter and dark they were. Since then, this song was by my side in the darkness moments, and in the ones I was feeling relieved too. Now, after finally entering college and being able to live alone in another city, I feel better and more strong. Whenever I feel dark I run back to this song, and when I'm happy too. It's good to see from above the pit I put myself into now that I lifted me up by myself, guess I can be proud. I feel that I'm day by day closer to being free from depression and social anxiety, and now I feel like I'm myself again. Better than that, I'm able to discover who I am without being judged and hurt. It's a long path, but we can achieve this.
James Hetfield was 21 when they released this song. Cliff Burton was 22 when he wrote it - or turning 22. Crazy to think someone so young could understand these feelings so well as to write a song like this. Unfortunately, Burton died 2 years later in a car crash.
Actually, it was a bus accident while the band was on tour Sweden that Cliff Burton died in
@@karlsmith2570 I'm aware, but I was trying to avoid details... Apparently they had an agreement that on some basis, someone would get a bed or something on the bus and Kirk won that so Cliff offered his bed... Weird how that works out.
@@ortundgaming967 Yeah Cliff won Kirk's bunk in a card game earlier that day according to an interview
James wrote it cliff wrote the outro harmony
@@jamespell1138 oh... Wikipedia page said Cliff wrote it... or did I read wrong?
I am totally blessed to have stumbled across this video. We all have tough struggles in this life. I am no different than anyone else. Mine was addiction, drugs & alcohol. You are an AMAZING person for what you are doing here. I have been sober for 27 years now and still deal with that struggle of loss. I noticed when you were experiencing you're anxiety attack, and you saw his purple guitar. I LOVE LOVE LOVE how you just said nice color of purple and almost instantly you're mouth started to form a smile like you got to see the sunshine again. You are part of the solution. Keep up the good fight. May God bless you and keep you. He has chosen you!!!
Its interesting to see someone react to this song in this way. I've heard this song 200 000 times, played through it just as much, and it means nothing to me. I can't relate to anything in the song since I never really havent struggled with depression or suicidal thoughts. But seeing you react in this way made me cry as well. Not because of the song, but because of what you are going through/have gone through. We all live in our own microcosms and microuniverses. We are all protagonists of our own stories. You made me leave my own bubble for a while to take part in yours, and it was a very humanizing experience. Thanks for sharing.
As someone who tried to hang by the neck back in 2016, i really wish you're doing much better and healing back, you're a beautiful person, you definetely deserve joy.
I am doing much better, thanks. Just got hit by the lyrics. I explained why in a recent vlog. You are a beautiful soul too worthy of love and joy! Glad you're still here!
I tried from age 5 until age 14. Then i heard this song. Señor Saturno, I'm glad you're still here. I'm even sort of glad that I'm still here.
@@suchendelokidottir5673
Well i'm glad YOU are still here too, i've understood that there is a lot of good things in life and i decided to give it a try and it's going pretty good, we'll have problems, disappointments, sad moments and stuff, but the best thing to do is to bear with it and be strong, lots of good things are waiting for everybody, so yeah, i hope everything's going well, and may this new year 2022 is full of nice things for us
'00 for me. I'm glad to see you are still here. Love to you.
@@MentalAmanda brother told me today that a homeless man took his life this morning in moorhead Minnesota. He doesn't know too many details. Brother is tells me the guy hung himself from a tree
Lost my son 10 months ago to accidental fetnyal… I feel this song. Appreciate your comments on it. James is deep in a lot of his writing.
Nothing Else Matters is also touching
That stuff is no joke! I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you are finding SOME kind of healing and continuing to share his love with the world. Here if you need to talk 💖
@@MentalAmanda thank you… I can’t it’s too fresh still. So many emotions and feelings to work through. I know there is a purpose for my life, but I don’t see the path yet. Just surviving and providing for the loved ones that I have.
I’m sorry for your loss, addiction is no joke. I’m recovering from heroin and I know to many people who have died because of it. Stay strong buddy.
@@iamradical u to stay strong.
@likeable antagonist I think they mean that his/her son was doing fentanyl and accidentally did to much and overdosed.
I admire your honesty and bravery of soul, keep on keeping on. I'm no stranger to mental health problems and breaking the stigma is a very positive thing to push for. Loss feels like forever, I wept with you.
Thank you for your bravery!!! We all thank that you are with us ❤
This isn't even the songs full power. They were playing pretty flashy here. The album version is much more emotional & put together.
However, I'm happy to know that depsite your battles in life that you are still here. You deserve every breath you take!!!
It's much safer to react to a live version because studio versions of songs keep getting copyright claimed and they take down the videos.
@@joranmoore5663 But you can cut trough the song to avoid copyright, since its a reaction ans everyone just knows the song, just putting the highlights on the video could solve that.
@@joranmoore5663 Yeah, I get that however, pausing the song every so often tends to help or even playing the video on screen & putitng watermarks over it.
I agree. This is a poor rendition of the song. One word, butchered!
The album versus is better.
This particular song helped me in many ways. 1. Knowing what I felt and I wasn’t the only one. 2. Feeling anger towards the emotions when I needed it. 3. They wrote it and still alive, so could I survive it. 4. They not only survived, but succeeded. Just turning the emptiness into something else was a big help.
You're so precious. I wish there were many more gentle souls such as yourself in this world. Every time I think about offing myself, I consider how life is relatively short enough in its natural course. Just a little more suffering until it ends for good.
Wow. Powerful video of this young lady putting her raw reaction to the lyrics. It strikes me hard, too. It takes me back to that foolish moment on a back country road, way back when I was a teenager. I had spent the day with my best friend, went to see a movie and eat something afterwards. He did not know it was my farewell to him. I dropped him off and drove out to a country road that overlooked a nice view. I calmly connected the vacuum hose to the tailpipe and fed it into the window. Turned up the radio and waited for the end. Luckily, something snapped in my head and I said to myself "she ain't worth it". Almost 40 yrs later and so happy I didn't miss out on the true love of my life and beautiful daughter.
I'm so glad that you're still here and that you've found happiness!
My question is this: how can so many people claim to never heard of Metallica? I'm in my 50's and grew up with them. I also know youngsters and people pushing 80 who are fans. Guess it's never to late or early to appreciate greatness
I heard OF Metallica (as I mentioned), just not this song.
I'm 14 and their fan
16 and this year was my first time actually diving into their music! Like sure, I knew they existed but never heard a song of them in public or mentioned until I went and searched and went down the rabbit hole... Zero regrets.
Because they were born yesterday !
the world really is divided between rock(metal) and pop and or country
Amanda, you are not alone. This song has saved countless lives. Music heals the soul.
This song got me through some tough times....it still does....this world is a much more beautiful place with you in it ❤
I'm glad you're still here and got to experience this song that I must say that to see you break down like I did brought me to tears and I feel for you
You are loved for your honesty
"I kept thinking it was over but it kept going!"
Welcome to Metallica.
Metallica - To Live is To Die, it's a song dedicated to their bassist Cliff Burton who died by a bus drive accident on 1986... the song has two guitar solos, the first is to show their angry feeling about lost a lovely brother, and the second is a very very sad feeling solo with radio effect, because when Cliff died it was noticed on radios... they not only lost a brother, they also lost the will to live on that day. The lyrics are the last sentence written by Cliff and it's also written on his grave.
Just feel like giving you a hug. Knowing I probably could need that hug myself. This song is powerful on so many levels, and it helps put on words to what so many of us/people struggle within every day ❤️ Wish you all the best!
I became a Metallica fan (by way of this song) when I was in a deep depression. At that point I had never seen a Psychiatrist, or even a therapist, and I had never even heard of clinical depression. But this song spoke to me. It put words to the thoughts and emotions that I couldn't articulate, or even comprehend myself. At the time, I was this peace and love hippie guy. Metallica allowed me to get in touch with the anger and hurt that I had been stuffing down for so long with alcohol, drugs, and other destructive behaviors. Therapy allowed me to start processing these feelings. Here I am now, and I haven't had a drink or a drug in 22 years. Thanks to James and the boys for being part of journey to mental health! 🤘🤘
Well, this song is Metallica talking about suicide in first person. If you enjoy sad songs, remember that their bass guitar player, Cliff Burton, died on an accident in 1986 and they released a song with his last work called "To Live is to Die" in his memory. That song is mostly instrumental, but they say a quote from Paul Gerhardt in the end, which makes it a rather touching song to hear. My point being that Fade to Black is mostly Metallica approaching the theme of death as a subject of study, while To Live is to Die is more of a manifestation of their real experience with death, which is slightly more.. solemn, perhaps? It's good either way.
When a man lies he murders a part of the world, these are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives, all this i cannot bear to witness any longer, cannot the kingdom of salvation TAKE ME HOME.
I have to live is to die tattooed inside my arm, because of this quote.
The first part is a quote and the second part is Cliff's lyrics.
No, it's about their gear getting stolen and James didn't know where to go on from there. Although music can be interpreted in different ways. I know that and I attach my own meanings to songs too!
Wrong
@@XXLRebel fade to black was about this, to live is to die is about cliff