I had a meltdown today🥺❤️

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  • čas přidán 5. 07. 2024
  • I believe it is important to share raw moments, so once I calmed down, my mom helped me get some of my thoughts out.❤️❤️❤️
    What do you do to help with meltdowns?❤️❤️❤️
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    #autism #adhd #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurodivergent
    #autism #adhd #meltdown #actuallyautistic

Komentáře • 591

  • @susanb2171
    @susanb2171 Před 24 dny +231

    Seems like kitty knows how to make it better afterwards.

    • @86PKG
      @86PKG Před 15 dny +5

      They do. I have a cat as well. Cats react and mirror our emotions. Sometimes I don't even know how stressed I am until it's too late, but with my cat around, he lets me know because he gets stressed as well. So when I pet him, it calms and regulates both of us. Cats are wonderful for us. 😢❤

  • @countessdelancret2447
    @countessdelancret2447 Před 24 dny +298

    Thank you for sharing your journey. I get this, people normally don’t understand that I need to be left alone when I’m having a meltdown too.

    • @susa5846
      @susa5846 Před 24 dny +19

      I feel this so hard. I know it from myself so this was the first thing I learned my child when she was quiet little: it is okay to be alone if you want. But if you want to be with me I'm there.
      It's very hard for her father to understand and act like this. But he's getting used to it. In kindergarden one person with a neurodivergent kid herself understood. The others learned my child needs time alone after such situations over time.
      I guess the hardest thing for others is feeling helpless. I personally don't feel so because I know giving her space and time is the best I can do for her in this situations.

    • @QuasiiiNominall
      @QuasiiiNominall Před 24 dny +15

      ⁠@@susa5846My father didn’t believe my autism diagnosis, and didn’t believe in mental illness either. So I was raised to shut up and stay quiet, never having anyone stop and explain to me what was “wrong” with me. Nobody told me till I was a teenager and already suffered through mockery and bulling that the school was just fine with.
      Ended up really harming how I go about life. To this day I cut off relationships because I feel ashamed in myself or think I’d somehow be a burden on them. To me, not being in anyone’s life was like a gift to them, so I pretty much had nobody my whole life.
      People gotta understand that how we’re treated as children sticks with us our whole lives. Just being autistic is already traumatic, let alone the emotional neglect that loves to come with it.

    • @cicicave1279
      @cicicave1279 Před 9 dny +1

      @@QuasiiiNominall Honestly, I feel this to some level, but not necessarily from childhood. More-so in and throughout my adulthood. I'm not saying I've never once experienced kindness in my adulthood, but I was def. put down and criticized a lot for what I chose to do w/my life as an adult later on (and this was by my most of my own family)-but as an adult or not, how does 1 tell their parents something like that? I didn't realize it until recently, but all that put me in a major whirlwind of negativity and not necessarily that, but so many different thing happened throughout my life, that it caused me to hate myself for diff. reasons.
      I do understand no one is responsible for anyone's happiness and we're only responsible for our own happiness, but having friends is what helps us feel happy esp. if/when they're long-term friends (sadly, most of mine have left my friendship)-I only left 1 of my friends due to long-story short: a toxic situation they got themselves into & refused to listen to me, my gut & my advice despite being right abt. everything I told them abt. a certain someone. Given, I did attempt to reach out to them wanting to be friends w/them again due to Jules LeBlanc saying in 1 of her videos: "Besties don't leave each other,"-I can't find it, but she did say that in 1 of them. Given, I do agree w/that, but it also depends on the situation/circumstances at hand too. Also, I hope the 1st half makes sense.

    • @user-bb1kq9hl4n
      @user-bb1kq9hl4n Před 5 dny

      I had this also…
      Anxiety with the world’s problems…but we can take every thing to God in prayer.We have dreams and desires but God!….
      He wants all of our hearts and to hear the cares of the people around us.As we pray for the individuals around us you’ll find their problems start to get answers.And you we’re privileged to help be a part in the answers to their anxieties!Wow,to know God hears your prayers and is also concerned about the circumstances that surround you!What a relationship,now you will find your dreams will start to unravel and come to life!Never give up your pourpose is about to take flight!😊

    • @countessdelancret2447
      @countessdelancret2447 Před 5 dny

      @@QuasiiiNominall I always had an issue with cutting off contact because I felt like I was too complicated inside and I felt like I was a burden as a friend. But one friend showed me how wrong I was. He was respectful, kind, but also tenacious. He didn’t give up on me and when I saw after a month that he was worried about my safety and well being and he wasn’t just sending me angry messages I understood I was hurting him by leaving. On my side of things I loved him as a friend, I was going through a hard time and I felt guilty about showing it. But he showed me that you can’t always run from problems and that there are real genuine friends out there who can care and love others unselfishly.
      If you care a burden to someone let them tell you that and know that they are not worth your friendship. Try to hold onto the good friends you find. Be brave, don’t be afraid of emotion, your life will be better for it.

  • @kgreene460
    @kgreene460 Před 24 dny +251

    Your sweet kitty come to comfort you at the end was so great!

    • @LaurenOliviArt
      @LaurenOliviArt Před 24 dny +10

      Big hugs ❤

    • @jemoeder5347
      @jemoeder5347 Před 14 dny +5

      That moment was sooo sweet. The entire video is so vulnerable and honest and then the cat coming to comfort you... I don't see myself as very neurodivergent but as a 100% cat person I know those moments.

  • @nub1vagant
    @nub1vagant Před 24 dny +245

    I can really relate to you as another autistic teen. Meltdowns are so hard that they all just blur together into a monotonous feeling of pain and fear when you try to look back on them. The few memories that remain are all jumbled up, and I can't remember which meltdown was which, and sometimes I even forget why I had a meltdown in the first place. I think this must happen to a lot of people. Thank you for spreading awareness and making people feel less alone

    • @whitepouch0904
      @whitepouch0904 Před 24 dny +5

      I remember all my meltdowns it usually caused by pent up anger, frustration and rejection. Then after that I’ll feel ashamed 😢

    • @heywhatupgames6257
      @heywhatupgames6257 Před 23 dny +5

      I'm not a teenager, but the same thing happens to me. Sometimes I remember my meltdowns and sometimes I don't. It can be really frustrating....😢😔

    • @marryannc7691
      @marryannc7691 Před 22 dny +2

      @@nub1vagant I asked my son who is a teen too & it’s the same answer. His meltdowns jumble together.

  • @Shanti565
    @Shanti565 Před 24 dny +144

    I hate my meltdowns. The slightest thing can set me off. Its like there is more input than I can handle.😔😢

    • @heathertxuk
      @heathertxuk Před 24 dny +6

      Same with me, and my son too. 😔

    • @Bubble0seven
      @Bubble0seven Před 7 dny

      @@heathertxuk feels with social media it is hard to believe people anymore since "everybody" seems to have this

  • @MarieJ333
    @MarieJ333 Před 24 dny +86

    I’m a high functioning autistic female adult and it’s extremely difficult even for myself. I have a high masking ability but I have the tendency to shut down and shut everyone out of my life for an extended period of time. It helps but I don’t think it’s a sound solution to my problem. Wishing you well in these circumstances 🥺

    • @dorisoneal1323
      @dorisoneal1323 Před 14 dny +2

      You just described how my daughter handles her difficulties! She's also high functioning & has a strong masking ability. I hate when she shuts us out. But at the same time I understand that is how she's best able to cope. So, I just wait for her to open up to us again.

  • @elibell5098
    @elibell5098 Před 24 dny +40

    "hot static" is a fabulous way of describing a feeling or experience that others may not have ever had. I have experienced "hot static" during/after a meltdown.

    • @Hayden-rc1ru
      @Hayden-rc1ru Před 2 dny

      As someone who is not autistic, I've experienced ''hot static'' in other types of overwhelming situations, so it was probably a helpful description for a lot of us.

  • @auntieducky1492
    @auntieducky1492 Před 24 dny +78

    ❤ I am a 38yo autistic/adhder
    I have 2 kids with the same diagnosis. You were so strong. You were able to describe what I watched when my kids meltdown; what I feel when I have a meltdown. Thank you so much. I am so glad you have your momma to guide you.
    Keep making the videos you can. It helps people like me.

  • @mahh154
    @mahh154 Před 24 dny +111

    The hardest part of mine is being scared of hurting others. I don't. Just raising my voice is enough for me to feel I could be a detriment to who's trying to help me. So leaving me alone is indeed the best course of action because I can just feel my feelings and not worry about anyone else.

    • @shaae_26
      @shaae_26 Před 7 dny

      it’s the same for me. i say stuff i don’t mean and i scream at people i love if they try to get involved and it just makes it worse cuz then i had myself for it

    • @HelloHamburger
      @HelloHamburger Před 7 dny

      There's been a lot of times with my parents that I don't care if I hurt their feelings because they'll keep pushing me into a bad place until I explode and won't leave me alone.

  • @marryannc7691
    @marryannc7691 Před 24 dny +87

    Meltdowns suck. I can see you’re still coming down from it in this video. The comedown is worse than the Meltdown itself. Or that’s the way it is with my boy. Sending you big good vibrations. ❤️

  • @TeriHargraveartist
    @TeriHargraveartist Před 23 dny +17

    Meltdowns can be physically painful can't they. So many people don't realise.

    • @HonestlyHolistic
      @HonestlyHolistic Před 18 dny +3

      Questioning now if my mental breakdowns are actually meltdowns… how can I tell the difference?

  • @BarryWaterlow
    @BarryWaterlow Před 24 dny +25

    Toren’s emotional honesty is wonderful.

  • @CricketGirrl
    @CricketGirrl Před 24 dny +45

    I hate meltdowns. I tend not to remember them either, but loved ones have had no issue telling me in great, glorious, guilt-ridden detail. I agree you shouldn't try to interact with someone in a meltdown. I think of it as the emotional equivalent of an epileptic seizure. We have zero control over what we say and do. ❤❤❤

  • @checkmate9756
    @checkmate9756 Před 24 dny +35

    I had many meltdowns as a young child and teen, and I wasn’t diagnosed with autism at the time… so my meltdowns were seen as anger issues, and I was often reprimanded. Afterwards I’d feel so embarrassed and then would have to deal with the aftermath… and with family members thinking I’m just misbehaved and a bad person… it’s really hard, and I know how it feels. Afterwards, the comedown is really hard to deal with also…

  • @kathybond4202
    @kathybond4202 Před 24 dny +45

    I’m an mother, g-mother and aunt of neurodivergents. The more I watch your mom and you , the more I understand my exciting family members and most importantly myself. You are the first person I have ever related to as for a my “break downs”. I recognize when I need alone time, however if I must “give my time” to other tasks I become very frustrated. I can never process heated conversations and cannot even remember what I just said. I’ve never been able to remember conversations, written transcripts or video I can recall. Thank you for sharing.

  • @Sweetlyfe
    @Sweetlyfe Před 24 dny +46

    Hey Toren, thank you I know that was difficult for you to talk about and you are very courageous in doing so, because it helps me a Man who was only diagnosed as a 55yr old man, and I recognise myself so much at the same age. I’m glad that you have an understanding Mum, and your beautiful cat to come and help you through those emotionally difficult times. Until you verbalised( British English sp) the memory loss it reminded me of all the times I couldn’t remember an argument, or a meltdown and what I said. Thanks mate I really appreciate you being vulnerable like that.

  • @videosofhubris
    @videosofhubris Před 24 dny +28

    Youre not alone. It's extremely upsetting to feel, and you're not alone on your feelings.

  • @its3amandilostmypassword
    @its3amandilostmypassword Před 24 dny +20

    The loosing memory is so real

  • @H.Michele
    @H.Michele Před 24 dny +12

    And having a cat who knows is such a gift. Getting cats has helped us so much.

  • @stairwaygoddess
    @stairwaygoddess Před 24 dny +20

    Hot static is a good description, I think. I've been told by my therapist to feel where in my body I'm experiencing discomfort during intense emotions, and what kind of physical feeling it is. Maybe that can help, it does help me a lot.

    • @susa5846
      @susa5846 Před 24 dny +3

      Thank you, I'll try this. ❤

  • @jessicaoppegaard2244
    @jessicaoppegaard2244 Před 24 dny +24

    Aww it's exhausting. Suppressing feels worse for me

  • @superdrwholock
    @superdrwholock Před 23 dny +4

    I hate having public meltdowns it's so embarrassing and like you said not remembering what you did makes it hard, I seem to create what I might've done in my head and then panic over what I might have done

  • @ChyarasKiss
    @ChyarasKiss Před 24 dny +14

    Thank you for voicing this.
    My son is Non-Verbal.
    When he has a meltdown his presents with hitting his forehead, check, chin.
    We got a helmet for when he does this. But he sometimes takes it off. (He’s fast)
    We got it because he was causing lumps and bruises.
    It’s heartbreaking to watch.

    • @bumblebee5990
      @bumblebee5990 Před 24 dny +3

      Hugs to you Mom. You are amazing!

    • @daisyjo88
      @daisyjo88 Před 24 dny +2

      As a mum, this is the worst part for me. We didn’t know what autism was until our child was seventeen. Just learning the term “meltdown” helped us be less anxious and more supportive. Thinking of you and wishing you well.

  • @messinalyle4030
    @messinalyle4030 Před 24 dny +4

    Sending comforting vibes. Feel better soon.
    I'm a middle-aged autistic woman. I seldom have meltdowns, but when I do, I still remember them. Most of the time I just cry. Generally I can control everything except the crying. Even on those occasions when I want to scream and/or smash things, I can refrain. It's mostly an explosive internal reaction.

  • @commander.saavik
    @commander.saavik Před 24 dny +22

    Thanks for posting this. It's really helpful to see how I'm not alone. I hope others find it helpful too.

  • @emmapalya1682
    @emmapalya1682 Před 24 dny +21

    I'm late diagnosed and I struggle with shame after meltdowns. They're also extremely physically draining to me. I often forget why a meltdown occurred and will sometimes not realize they're coming on until it's too late to prevent them. Wishing you easier moment and so much support!

  • @karav8133
    @karav8133 Před 24 dny +8

    I love how your cat comes over to help. Thanks for sharing, you are really a gift to this world Toren, and I so appreciate your mother, also ❤️

  • @grannyappleseed
    @grannyappleseed Před 23 dny +4

    Melt downs are so hard on both child and mom. My daughter used to bite my body. Arms legs, all over. She would kick holes in every wall in my house over and over and bash her head off the floor.
    I knew it wasn't easy on her but boy, I never thought I'd make it through those years of meltdowns...
    Happy to say meltdowns are rare now that shes a teen

  • @jill6979
    @jill6979 Před 24 dny +5

    I am so proud of you young man. I am a 43 year old female who had ADHD impulsive/hyperactivity type since 3rd grade. We never treated it, so I am a grown woman who still has meltdowns. Somehow it's less understandable to see an adult go through it - I highlight the help and knowledge available today. You got this, and you are NOT alone ❤

  • @trisham7986
    @trisham7986 Před 24 dny +20

    aw I can relate (ptsd) when I have an episode or panic attack I forget most of it after and get tired after. But my Brain is protecting me from something when I can't remember what ever it was that upset me. When you are ready and calmer maybe you might remember and than you can analyze it more logically. But it upsets me too when there is information mixed in the memory that I really need to remember and can't.

  • @elwood393
    @elwood393 Před 24 dny +11

    Awwww, Toren! 😢 I can so relate! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this aspect of your life. I’m sure that’s not easy to do, but it sure does make others (like me) feel seen and understood. I’m so sorry you hit a rough patch today. Hang in there, dude.

  • @benjohnsen1608
    @benjohnsen1608 Před 24 dny +15

    Thinking about you all and hoping for a better day tomorrow.

  • @lenorekoch6494
    @lenorekoch6494 Před 24 dny +36

    Dude, we all meltdown at some point or another-
    I can see how it would be frustrating not to know the triggers as it's wiped from memory, but maybe you don't get stuck in an endless loop of replaying that 'old tape' trying to figure it out...
    I dearly love you and your mom- I'm autistic like her, and have a son much like you!

  • @dawnhughes9942
    @dawnhughes9942 Před 24 dny +4

    I'm an autistic adult. We are not safe in society because of meltdowns. I have been handcuffed and taken away for weeks because I made people uncomfortable. I have developed PTSD and great fear of law enforcement and EMS. I hope someday it becomes safe for us to exist. Compassion for you my friends.

  • @juliamcqueen6305
    @juliamcqueen6305 Před 24 dny +14

    Meltdown are hard to describe when someone is having one. And when someone wants to help it’s gets harder to understand what they are going through. I’ve been on both sides, specially when my anxiety is getting worse on some days. You are right when you are having a meltdown sometimes your mind will wipe it out, but there are people who are there for you and will help with your meltdown after you calm down. Everyone goes through these meltdowns and we still care and love you no matter what happens. Hope you have better day soon.

  • @phoenix_rising1375
    @phoenix_rising1375 Před 24 dny +7

    It does happen so fast and even though I've started to recognize the signs I need to just go lay on the floor in a quiet room and stare at the ceiling, sometimes I can't or I try to suppress because I have other things to do which I inevitably regret. For me the feelings of shame and guilt afterwards are the worst. Self-forgiveness and compassion are so important for after meltdowns. ❤

  • @imaddi
    @imaddi Před 24 dny +8

    I have never been diagnosed with autism but when I was younger, and even now I have meltdowns. It took me a long time to realise why they happen and still don't know the words to describe it. As soon as it's over, I forget what happened, why it happened, and those around me believe it to be a flaw in me.

  • @breekc6783
    @breekc6783 Před 24 dny +2

    Meltdowns suck, I never know what’s going to set me off. my cat also comforts me after I’ve had a meltdown too. Thank you for posting these videos; they’re really informative and they make me feel like I’m not alone in this world that is made for neurotypicals.

  • @anxen
    @anxen Před 24 dny +8

    It helps me to think about how our neurology works, so I just think of synapses being overloaded and flushing out (includes short term memory). It's maybe worth thinking of it like very very bad vertigo. Or having a really awful flu for a very short period of time. Don't feel bad about yourself because there is no way to fully control what is basically autonomous nervous system response.

  • @Loveoneanother2023
    @Loveoneanother2023 Před 24 dny +5

    I explain it as my brain is a computer and it has to force a restart to save itself. Hang in there it gets better with age.

  • @threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat8863

    I'm sure yall have already thought of this but on the off chance you haven't, do you have a self care plan in place for after?
    Like if a hot bath is soothing with whatever sounds you like hearing that could be good to have that plan for after every meltdown.
    Or if you just want to sit in a room in the dark with silence?
    I don't think I'm autistic but I do have something kin to meltdowns that happens to me sometimes and going outside with my headphones in with my favorite music playing helps me after.
    For my son he just likes to be left alone and walk. When he is done walking he feels much better.

  • @Jakeharris2001
    @Jakeharris2001 Před 24 dny +5

    I grew up with autism myself and I had ADHD… so I understand. I’ve been through this exact thing myself…
    Your not alone keep pushing through you got this.

  • @FORGOTTENMINDFREAK23
    @FORGOTTENMINDFREAK23 Před 23 dny +4

    Undiagnosed ADHD here, possibly autism too. Absolutely drowning here and had the meltdown on the phone with my team leader because the workload they're giving me just isn't possible. I'm stressed, I'm overloaded, and I'm not receiving any accommodation whatsoever bc I'm not diagnosed but I can't afford to be.
    I see you, I feel you and I'm crying with you.

    • @njrom2975
      @njrom2975 Před 4 dny

      Do you think u need accommodation just cause you got Adhd ? I don’t think it’s fair for everyone . I think your boss is an asshole but don’t use your adhd or whatever to get accommodations from a neurotypical job, neurotypical have problems and hardships and sometimes the boss is just a bad leader , instead of asking for accommodations why not complain and report HIS behavior and treatment to everyone, not just u .

    • @FORGOTTENMINDFREAK23
      @FORGOTTENMINDFREAK23 Před 4 dny

      @njrom2975 I'm not asking for unreasonable things, and some other people also have similar accommodations. Adhd can be disabling, and someone with it has every right to ask for things that will help them do their job. No different to people asking for a desk setup, etc.

  • @sarahlencioni607
    @sarahlencioni607 Před 24 dny +5

    I understand where your coming from I have a little bit of austism and ADHD.
    When I was a kid I Was hyper sensitive to anything and everyone which made me a target to bullying.

  • @ering7530
    @ering7530 Před 24 dny +4

    thank you for being brave and sharing.
    you help so many people,

  • @jaymieturner9976
    @jaymieturner9976 Před 24 dny +2

    Such a gift to have such suport and awareness so early in life. I am almost 40 and only understanding myself now.

  • @MrsLeBlanc14
    @MrsLeBlanc14 Před 24 dny +2

    This broke my heart. Thank you for being vulnerable and brave to share this.

  • @DebB-s1i
    @DebB-s1i Před 24 dny +3

    ❤Thank you for your courage in showing such raw footage It helped me understand someone I love who can’t always find the words to share such raw feelings❤️much love to Toren and family what you do matters and you make a difference in the lives of everyone whether autistic or those of us who love them❤

  • @C_J_882
    @C_J_882 Před 24 dny +4

    I actually had a meltdown earlier today. I got extremely overwhelmed because my dad did something that completely chnaged my routine for the day and I shut down. I dont usually remember what happens either, and its so frustrating when you can't remember. Thank you so much for posting this, because it makes me feel less alone. Thank you ❤

    • @daisyjo88
      @daisyjo88 Před 24 dny +3

      I’m so glad you have shared this example! Abrupt changes in routine (or even non abrupt) are such a challenge! Especially if those close to you don’t understand. I hate to think of all the times a meltdown has been labeled an “overreaction” and the person shamed for it. Hoping you are having a good day.

  • @chantelchapman4875
    @chantelchapman4875 Před 24 dny +3

    ❤I love how authentic you are and how you share with people to help them learn and support people like you.❤️

  • @ctlo4403
    @ctlo4403 Před 24 dny +2

    How lovely to have caring family to discuss and support through. ❤

  • @Hermitthecog
    @Hermitthecog Před 24 dny +6

    It's challenging to witness as one can't help but empathize (incidentally my cats also show up for comfort during the post-meltdown cooling period); growing up undiagnosed I often worried that I might hurt someone if I lost control while upset. It's not easy to learn how to manage a behaviour that one has no clear memory of, particularly given that men were (traditionally) taught to suppress our emotions anyway.

  • @kl9635
    @kl9635 Před 24 dny +3

    Toren you and your mom are amazing ❤your helping so many people understand what happens to us and what it’s like to be this way . thank you

  • @Sashaiordanov
    @Sashaiordanov Před 24 dny +5

    ❤❤❤ I'm so sorry Toren! Wishing you a safe and happy day!

  • @recoverykonie407
    @recoverykonie407 Před 24 dny +3

    Thank you for sharing. Thank you Mom for your gentle, thoughtful model. I love the safety of your relationship. You put in the work to be safe.

  • @Sketch-n-doodlez
    @Sketch-n-doodlez Před 24 dny +3

    Awh, I’m sorry you had a meltdown ❤ i can 100% relate to this, i can’t usually remember stuff after meltdowns, and as a very moody person: i have a lot of them- almost daily, lol. I love how you express yourself and be completely vulnerable with your audience, it’s beautiful. ❤

  • @InterstellarDreams
    @InterstellarDreams Před 24 dny +7

    New-ish subscriber, here! And I wanted to say, I think you’re really cool! And unique! And sincere! And entertaining! And weird, in the best way! And also..? Increasingly more and more eloquent in these! Plus still growing and learning! I think you’re going to go on to do GREAT things in life. And in fact, you are ALREADY doing great things, with this channel! Sorry you had such a rough day today. Love and hugs. From me, 35-year-old woman, also on the spectrum, (milder severity than you, though, I think), who used to have lots of meltdowns as a kid. But who rarely has them now. Hopefully it gets better for you, too, as you age.

  • @MarsTV_Cartoons
    @MarsTV_Cartoons Před 15 dny +3

    "Hot static" is so brilliantly descriptive. We feel you.

  • @heathertxuk
    @heathertxuk Před 24 dny +3

    My son has autism too, and as a mom I can understand how intense and draining meltdowns are. Thank you for sharing this moment with us, and for bringing awareness to so many people. You're an amazing young man. I wish you a better tomorrow. 😊🫶

  • @Me-hf4ii
    @Me-hf4ii Před 24 dny +4

    I am so sorry you are going through this. I still remember all the meltdowns I don’t remember - especially bad during teen years. Once I really got a handle on my stress, and really keeping a grip on my emotions, they got better. I pray you experience the same thing as you get older. I have a very low stress life now and I haven’t had a true, amnesia level meltdown in over 10 years. I have had shutdowns that I knew meant I needed to withdrawal and recoup or my family would see a side of me I couldn’t take back (and probably wouldn’t remember) but we can manage those and I am ok with those… I pray in time you find some sort of similar solace and control… and amount of environmental control I need to not have meltdowns is very high… so it’s not like I’m “better” - but I found a system that works to keep me safe and healthy, and keep my family safe and healthy too.

  • @maplekeepsakes
    @maplekeepsakes Před 24 dny +2

    Take your time!, and hug that sweet kitty ❤️

  • @jraymond8238
    @jraymond8238 Před 12 dny +1

    Praying for everyone in pain, mental or physical, to be healed.
    Hang in there, and don't stop believing in the power of prayer!!

  • @ProdigyAngel33_Nagichan
    @ProdigyAngel33_Nagichan Před 24 dny +3

    Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable moment and your insight. It helps others to know some strategies to help and when just to step back and come back later to support, though it is always a bit heartbreaking to watch people go through something and feel helpless too. Be gentle with yourself and know that you touch many people's lives. Feel better and I hope the rest of your day is full of sunshine.

  • @JF-kv1gm
    @JF-kv1gm Před 24 dny +2

    Thank you, Toren. You're eloquence and willingness to share your vulnerability is a gift to so many people. Your beautiful cat is very sensitive to your emotional state.😊

  • @banyantree
    @banyantree Před 13 dny +1

    The love of a mother for her child is the BEST MEDICINE. My mom has gone to Heaven but your mom reminds me of her (having cared, with joy in heart, for my sister with cerebral palsy) - thank you! Hug your mom AND I wish for you peace and serenity!

  • @vikkifox
    @vikkifox Před 24 dny +1

    You’re not alone . It’s ok

  • @charlesjackson6015
    @charlesjackson6015 Před 13 dny +2

    So heart wrenching that anyone has to suffer like this. Sending love your way, buddy.

  • @Lucyyyjaneee
    @Lucyyyjaneee Před 24 dny +1

    I have autism, I love how you help people feel understood and supported

  • @Visitor2Earth
    @Visitor2Earth Před 5 dny +1

    I have a 17yr old autistic Grandson who has meltdowns...it's hard and it's heartbreaking. I'm crying now for this young man.

  • @elaineross9365
    @elaineross9365 Před 24 dny +1

    the thing that struck me most about this is.... what a wonderfully supportive Mom you are ❤

  • @FFOGHORN
    @FFOGHORN Před 14 dny +1

    What a sweet guy. Thanks for a glimpse into your world.

  • @GraiXS
    @GraiXS Před 23 dny +2

    It's really validating to hear that other people get these memory wipes from during a meltdown. I always hate that after such an emotional time, I just don't remember anything.
    Also such a sweet kitty ❤

  • @mamasquatch
    @mamasquatch Před 24 dny +2

    That was incredibly brave of you, to so openly share your emotions. You really are helping others in bigger ways than you can imagine. You are an amazing person. ❤

  • @onfirefoley2792
    @onfirefoley2792 Před 24 dny +2

    Thank you, helps me understand my lil Mr. Hes got such a huge heart an totally falls apart after "meltdowns" ❤

  • @rinkincaid5470
    @rinkincaid5470 Před 24 dny +2

    I'm 24 and I could never put this feeling into words; I still can't, but you described it perfectly. I still have my meltdowns but they're better now that I'm living alone ❤
    Edit: I don't want Toren to feel like moving out is what he needs or anything, but it was for me. My parents were/still are my triggers for alot of things. Having my own space gives me a little sense of control

  • @tomvoyles5101
    @tomvoyles5101 Před 8 dny +1

    So glad you took this public, ppl need to know this. You are so brave for doing this. I wish you all the best.

  • @siljeto86
    @siljeto86 Před 23 dny +2

    Thank you so much for sharing

  • @Lazy_Fish_Keeper
    @Lazy_Fish_Keeper Před 24 dny +2

    You have the best mom, and I am so glad you are able to share your experiences as well as you do, so you both can help others.
    As an undiagnosed AuDHD parent, I did my best to help support my kids during their meltdowns.... unfortunately we didn't have nearly as many resources then, and I had to advocate in the courts, at schools, to family members....
    It was exhausting, for my kids and for me.
    Videos like this are a fantastic resource for parents trying to explain why the ABA a judge orders is making things worse, not better. Or for explaining why school resource officers are escalating situations, and that giving kids the space they are asking for is the best de-escalation technique.

  • @taniarudolph4348
    @taniarudolph4348 Před 24 dny +3

    You explained that perfectly for my neurotypical brain buddy thankyou

  • @Fiawordweaver
    @Fiawordweaver Před 14 dny +1

    I thank this young man all the brave people sharing their stories on this channel. I send warm loving thoughts to all of you.

  • @kaylaports4449
    @kaylaports4449 Před 24 dny +2

    My meltdowns feel like a whole body headache and feels very tight. I can’t hear because my ears feel so plugged see because I’m crying and all I see is red. or breathe because I’m crying so deeply it hurts. These last for 5-6 hours and as you said the come down period is worse because your body is so exhausted and you can’t relax and you just want to sleep but you can’t. Toren you are not alone I’m 20 and have experienced 100’s of meltdowns. Just know there are others like you it’s not only you there of millions of autistic people this is the negative side of autism the positive side is our rapid recall of our special interest facts. Then once the meltdown is over I like to be in my room alone with my headphones on and rock or script and repeat songs from my childhood. I like to be under my weighted blanket and that really helps me.

    • @bumblebee5990
      @bumblebee5990 Před 24 dny +1

      I love your self care, it’s beautiful!

  • @arighttoknow5839
    @arighttoknow5839 Před 23 dny +2

    Thank you so much for helping us understand better and to not interfere. My grandson has autism and I need your wisdom and courage to cope. 🙏🏼 Bless you, kind soul….

  • @bettydamnboop3030
    @bettydamnboop3030 Před 16 dny +1

    It’s exhausting and takes days to recover but you got this 🙏🏼🌹🙏🏼

  • @jeaniedelaney4711
    @jeaniedelaney4711 Před 24 dny +2

    You are helping so many people with your videos. Thank you! ❤

  • @Celestria91
    @Celestria91 Před 24 dny +4

    Hope you feel better soon and thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. It's really courageous and I hope that you can be proud of yourself. Also lots of love to your mom for her great compassion and all the care she's giving.
    Sorry if this sounds weird, I'm not a native speaker. But I wanted to share my thoughts for your very helpful, insightful videos and your courage to put yourself and your journey out there

    • @ralphlyda4545
      @ralphlyda4545 Před 10 dny

      Celestria, I have worked as a language interpreter; I can’t think of anything in your paragraphs that a native speaker could have said any better! You have made a lovely comment, & a lovely contribution!

  • @Daniiiiikay
    @Daniiiiikay Před 17 dny +1

    Yup I get this. When I have a meltdown I just want to be away from everyone. Usually crying alone with no one looking at me. Usually outside in the fresh air. The stupidest things set me off, and unfortunately can't really be made better, just have to ride the wave.

  • @kellyf.653
    @kellyf.653 Před 24 dny +2

    Thank you for sharing.

  • @mamadab2563
    @mamadab2563 Před 24 dny

    Aww, sweetheart. Big hugs to you and anyone who goes through this, and their loved ones xxx

  • @karenorgan6203
    @karenorgan6203 Před 24 dny +2

    I had a meltdown in front of my step daughter, she was snapping the threads on a wool blanket I wove in college. No one gave me grace, and I was really good, I internalized, caused lots of harm to my internal self, but didn’t yell, or act out. My wife made me feel really guilty, and even though the girl apologized the next morning and I forgave them they never felt comfortable with me again, they had guilt I’m told. It makes me just want to isolate and not inflect my presence on anyone

    • @bumblebee5990
      @bumblebee5990 Před 24 dny +2

      You are not responsible for their, or anyone else’s feelings. You did the best you could and the world might not be good enough for you, but we very much want you here and present. These are just feelings, they are not you. I feel confident that time and continued connection can transform all things, relationships change and grow. We all have moments, they are not what defines us. For the record, I would not like to see my efforts harmed, but chances are it was just some stimming (also a human thing… plenty of variations). All this seems very human, your great, kind heart is what they love, like the meltdowns the memories fade for everyone when we are met with loving kindness.

  • @meisapieceapie
    @meisapieceapie Před 24 dny +1

    Thank you for sharing. It's very helpful in letting others know that they are not alone. You and your family are doing wonderful work!

  • @thom6647
    @thom6647 Před 23 dny

    You are a beautiful young man. Be kind to yourself! I’m sending lots of healing energy and prayers.

  • @donnaa9581
    @donnaa9581 Před 22 dny

    I love the sweet relationship you and your mom have. I’m so sorry that you have struggles at times. You are such a bright, articulate, and kind young man. Keep being perfectly you. ❤

  • @karensimon876
    @karensimon876 Před 24 dny

    You are doing such a great service. Thank you Toren. You speak for so many

  • @Renee-b2y
    @Renee-b2y Před 11 dny +1

    Your beautiful cat feels what you can't express so just wants to be with you and give you love❤❤❤ you are such a brave young man. Thank you for sharing this. I hope you are doing ok

  • @richardstlouis9944
    @richardstlouis9944 Před 24 dny +1

    Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. Very courageous and good advice. Blessings to you.

  • @missyann2641
    @missyann2641 Před 23 dny

    Thank you for having the strength to share this. I'm so sorry you have to go through that. We all love you! ❤

  • @care2crochet
    @care2crochet Před 24 dny +1

    Bless you, you're so courageous to share your inner world x

  • @CourtneyS24
    @CourtneyS24 Před 24 dny +1

    Thank you so much for sharing this, we are just at the start of our journey with my son ASD testing, already ADHD diagnosed. This helps so much!

  • @evangelicful
    @evangelicful Před 24 dny +1

    Praying for you!! Thank you for sharing this!! You're a strong person!!!

  • @kimberlycox6334
    @kimberlycox6334 Před 24 dny

    Toren, thank you 100% for sharing all that you do. The fun times along with the really vulnerable ones. You are so brave and so beautiful. You are making a difference. Hugs.