As someone who did get married in Italy will tell you....They are hoping people won't come and are off the hook from having to invite everyone under the sun back in the US
My wife and I had a destination wedding. We used our wedding as a gift to our parents. Her parents never had a honeymoon, and my parents hadn't gone on vacation in over 10 years at that time. We paid for their lodging and travel. Food and drinks were covered with the lodging. We even purchased activity packets for them so they wouldn't have to come out of pocket for certain things. We didn't invite anyone else to the wedding. Instead, we hosted a dinner party at our home after we returned. Invited friends and family to celebrate with us, which was a lot of fun.
Is that total for 2 people? Cause if you divide it by half it feels more reasonable. Friend got married in Hawaii and it cost more than that per person even tho it was in the US.
If you're travelling and spending 💰 in a different currency, I'd say it's reasonable. They could've chosen not to go but they did and it doesn't seem like they're complaining. Just sharing what their expenses were @@sashimster3243
I’m sorry but l think your addition is a lil wrong because the prices shown were per individual so you’re supposed to multiply the total by 3. 1,624.69* 3=
This is around what I got, but I think it's CAD. In euros it's about 2500 euro and 2800 USD based on today's exchange rates. The flights were reasonable but I think the hotels ended up being the most costly.
Got invited to a destination wedding for my cousin and I had to decline. We were saving up for a house and were not even spending money on ourselves to go on vacation. My uncle called my mother and it caused this huge issue. We were not the only ones who declined the invitation. The cost to us to attend this wedding not even including the gift would have been over 5k in travel and lodging expenses. To this day half my extended family does not talk to me.
@@WildtingzThats the thing. It was all just to show off. When my grandparents moved to this country they opened a bakery and lived in an apartment. When they were able to buy a house they purchased a two family house so the three kids could have a nice start to save up for their own houses. My uncle being the oldest got married first and moved in and stayed never moving out. He never paid a dime of rent and never turned down an opportunity to flaunt money in everybody’s face.
Sounds like something the family from my dad would do 100% the same. And let me tell you as a parent myself that has a responsibility they just needed a reason to hate on you and finally you have them. Enjoy your life savings with your loved ones not for other people 👏🏽🙏🤲🏽🫶
this is such an interesting perspective! at most Indian destination weddings, the bride & groom/their families cover the stay. this usually includes transport to and from the airport, food and certain services like laundry. the guests only pay for their flights & any other personal expense like clothing for the wedding!
The only issue is (atleast in North Indian weddings) the brides family is expected to foot 100% of the bill of the wedding because she’s marrying into the grooms family. I feel like Indian weddings need to start normalising a 50/50 split for the wedding
@@catharticmemefairy2088 I am from north India and all the weddings I know about were split 50-50. I don't know what part of the country you are from, but maybe this is a norm in your area not all of North India.
@@catharticmemefairy2088 I can't speak for the whole of India, but I think things are changing. there's been quite a few weddings in my circle recently, and all of them have been 50/50, or, each side pays for their respective guests. I've also seen the bride & groom foot the bill without any familial support. but we definitely have a long way to go seeing as the mindset hasn't changed. and don't even get me started on dowry :(
Such interesting comments. My brother married abroad (his wife and her family lived in Northern Ireland). We all (family and friends, about 40 people) went. We got to see an amazing country we would have probably never visited, and also went to a couple places in Europe. We are not rich, and it was a sacrifice for sure. But one I will NEVER regret!! We saw a beautiful wedding, travelled, and made lifelong memories!!!
That's what I'd do, turn it into an extended vacay. From the US, the flights over there are one of the biggest, if not the biggest cost. So if you're already there, might as well stay longer, and see a few more things! Especially if it's a cool country (which I know is really subjective, but still).
Exactly!! It gives you an "excuse" to actually go to Europe (if it's in Europe), and honestly, I loved every single place we went to, and we did it on the cheap and didn't stay in fancy places, or eat any fancy foods, but we still loved it!! Also, internal flights in Europe can be found for as low as $10 each way if you buy them about 6 months in advance!! So, you really can see lots of places for cheap! @@elise85391
I am italian and i live 2 hours away from Como, also half of my family lives there, but I never went on my own because it's too expensive. I cannot imagine going there from the States. This would have easily financially wrecked me. I hope you had a great time though. 💜
@@jessicahunter2976 you're right, and from Canada is even more expensive due to higher priced plane tickets and smaller salaries overall. Canada somehow has bigger taxes and pricier housing, so literally the effort to fly from Canada is even bigger than from the US. They must have been really close to the bride and groom.
@@alexandrapritchard4901 if it is someone really close to you of course you feel like you should go, even if you know you can't afford it. I know some parents who have had to miss their kids wedding because they didn't have the means to go . Some of us have a choice to go or not, some people simply can't.
The only way I’d do this is if my bestie met their spouse abroad. No way I’m dishing out money like that for people who just wanna be fancy for fancy sake. Save that for the honeymoon
Weirdly enough destination weddings can cost the same abroad as they can local if you’re in the US. Everything for weddings is so much more expensive (cake makers charge double for a wedding vs the exact same cake for something like a birthday party) and the venue in the US can easily exceed 20-40k. Prices in Europe for that kinda stuff can be so much cheaper that for the bride and groom, prices may not actually be different.
I think I am forced to have a destination wedding because me and my partner are from different countries, we've met in another one and now live in a different country. If we organised the wedding in either of these four countries, it would be a destination wedding for some of the guests anyway!
@@laxmitty21 yes! My NYC wedding is cheaper for my family to attempt than having it in Honolulu. I'm literally getting married there so that the majority of both of our families can attend for a reasonable cost
@@laxmitty21my husband and I dodged the wedding cake thing by doing a non-processed celebration. Frankly we both have a lot of family members better off not eating cake 😂
Destination weddings are so imposing. Thinking you are so important that most Americans would sacrifice their vacation on your life choices is wild. I am German living in America and when I got married here 10 years ago I invited my German folks and I used one golden rule: would I do the same thing for the people I invited. Trust me, my list of wedding guests got really small real quick.
It’s a personal choice for those who can afford it, some people like destination wedding because they feel obligated to invite all their family but know they can’t attend if it’s out of country or they just want to!
Not at all imposing unless the person expects you to come despite any financial burden. In my experience, people that throw destination weddings understand that they will have far fewer RSVP’s and they’re fine with that trade off.
We got married in our own church in the town we both lived in. We served cake nuts, mints and non alcoholic punch at the reception which was also held at our church. It was simpler than many weddings, but the marriage has lasted 31 years and is still going strong.
I had to honestly check and see if this is a post I had written. Heh. Same with me, and I have been married 35 years. That said, my sister got married a few years ago and had a somewhat local (drivable) destination wedding and she and my brother-in-law paid for everything for every single guest. Hotel, food, everything. It was elegant and beautiful and the memory of that weekend, even with our mother who has since passed, remains forever. It was one of the happiest weekends of my life. So I can see each side.
Pretty sure even some churches these days would charge an arm and a leg to let you use that space. Unless, maybe, it's a church that you both actively attend and tithe to and such. Which is less and less common for young people these days. But that, and opinions on that, are an entirely separate topic.
Here me out: people have destination weddings when they want to have a small wedding. They invite everyone assuming most won’t come. They do this on purpose and it saves them from having to cut people out of their guest list in fear of having too many people. If I were to plan my wedding again I would consider doing a destination wedding just because there would probably be less drama.
I agree. I just got an invite for my second cousin's wedding. She and the groom are from different countries. I live in a 3rd country as does most of her family. And they are getting married in a 4th one lol. My first thought was she must not want a lot of people to attend.
This is why you never be so rude as to ask people to travel the world for your day. You go. You come home. You have your reception Stateside. It’s a lovely idea to have those you love surround you on your day. But it’s just as lovely as to consider what hurdles they have to leap to get there. Be fair to everyone’s checkbook.
@cortezconquistadorit's rude BECAUSE most people are broke. Unless you hang out with wealthy people it's rude to assume your friends have thousands of dollars lying around for a shitty trip to someone else's "special day".
I could never do a destination wedding. The fact I could potentially put people who care about me in debt just to see me walk the aisle is pretty crazy
I had a relative who did a "destination wedding" that permanently injured relations within the family. They wanted to pay for all their guests' accommodation (nice), so they only invited a tiny number (less than 20) of people to their wedding (bad). The relatives who were left out permanently wondered whether they were really welcome to have a relationship with the couple.
@@MyFiddlePlayer dang that's insane. The other members should have asked if they could go if they pay their part but at the same time it's just such an awkward situation
You must really really like the couple getting married to spend that much money. If it's a sibling I can see doing it (maybe😉) but not just for anyone. Glad you had a good time though and were able to go and make some memories with everyone.💕 Loved the outfits you both wore. 👍🏻👍🏻
This video seems more like a brag than anything else. Hubby and I spent ten days in Italy, two in Rome, three in Napoli and five on Capri for less than three grand. That included Amtrak tickets to and from JFK, hotel in NYC, airfare, food, tours, transportation and momentos.
@@samsmom1491a brag? you were not doing the same thing as them? took a different route, possibly different airlines, a different time of year (yes it does make a major difference) with different activities. as a guest of a wedding you don’t exactly have the option of staying in a different major city unless you’re planning a stay outside of the wedding itself.
It’s more self serving than it seems: 1) they got to go on an extravagant vacation and “blame” on a wedding they had to attend 2) they get to look like a really great friend every time they tell someone how they spent $10k to go to a destination wedding 3) they made an IG vid on it If someone went to a destination wedding and didn’t tell anyone (only the bride/groom and attendees know) then I would say it’s a sincere act of friendship
This looks like it was fun. Y’all It’s ok if you can’t afford or don’t feel comfortable going to or having a destination wedding, but it is also ok for others to go. No big deal either way.
Unless I have the money to help everyone attending with the costs I'll keep my wedding close to home. I don't want to force people to pay a lot of money just to attend my wedding.
Maybe legally you can't force anyone to attend but socially, some of us are "forced". If you can't really afford it/would have to sacrifice you holidays for that year or maybe you don't even like weddings, there are often situations when you are required to come and not doing that could break a friendship or cause some tension in the family.
@katd7716 yeah but as the host, its your duty to know the financial standing on the surface. Like based on how your friend lives and the car they drive. Also for destination weddings it would be best if the host picks up the slack and tried their best to minimize costs to guest. Like bulk renting hotel rooms at a better price. Covering meals, etc. In my culture the costs for guests at a wedding are very low. Most out of town guests get free accommodation, food and return fare. I know not everyone can afford that, but we try and make it easier on guests
Couples should do a small intimate destination wedding of just the married couple, and maybe immediate family members, best friends. Where the couple actually gets officially married. The bigger wedding reception could be local, so the majority of people can afford to go, after the couple is married.
I’m from the states and had my wedding in Europe because my husband is from there. No one was pressured to attend and if anything my immediate family was thrilled to have an excuse to travel to Europe. I didn’t hold it against anyone who didn’t want to attend 🤷🏻♀️ So if you’re invited to a destination wedding and don’t want to go just check that little box, the bride and groom will be just fine 😉
Our oldest son was getting married and his fiancé texted me that they were going to get married in Hawaii and I politely declined because we couldn’t afford it(turned out her mom couldn’t afford it either) so they changed it to Vegas and again I politely had to decline because we couldn’t afford it plus my husband wasn’t physically able to do it due to health issues and a recent surgery. I also reminded her that my mother who was suffering from severe dementia wouldn’t be able to attend and that was another reason why I couldn’t go because I had to help take care of my mother and my brother couldn’t attend either. She became livid at me and accused me of not wanting them to get married and for her to have the wedding she wanted. It was definitely not the case, I wanted to be at my first child’s wedding but finances and life circumstances would not allow me to travel for the event and of course his dad wanted to be there too but a week in Vegas wasn’t in the cards for us and I couldn’t leave my brother holding the full responsibility of our mother and working full time for a week like that. I apologized and tried to just leave it at that. She had asked my daughter to be a bridesmaid and she had picked a $200 dress for her(not in our budget either). I am not 100% sure what transpired but they ended up getting married locally in a park and she snubbed my daughter being a bridesmaid at it, her maid of honor wasn’t wearing anything near the dress she had sent me. 🤷🏻♀️ so checking the box didn’t work out well for me.
@@desertfamilyhomestead3127 obviously each situation is different. I was mostly responding to the comments where people were invited to a friends destination wedding or weren’t immediate family members. Since I knew my siblings, grandma, and mom would for sure be able to make it I had no issue having the wedding in Europe, anyone else who was able to come was an added bonus but those who weren’t I held no ill feelings towards (my best friend at the time couldn’t attend). It was also far less expensive than if I were to have it back in California but if my mom wouldn’t be able to make it I’m sure would have reconsidered the destination.
@@desertfamilyhomestead3127 how long ago did that happen I wonder if they’re still married. Looks like your sons bride was either very young and naive in general or very demanding financially against. Was your son able to provide for her at her requirement or is she making a lot of money on her own? so many questions and so few answers
In most of the Indian weddings, the accommodation cost is usually covered by the host if it's a destination wedding. Even in case of local weddings, the hosts usually book some sort of accommodation for the guests coming from outside the state near the hosts' house or the wedding venue.
I have been to 2 destination weddings. Both were in my late 20s as a young couple. There was no pressure to attend, but it was an absolute pleasure to attend, and it was fun to travel in a group. We basically only paid for flights and the bride and groom gave us accomodation and took care of transports and most meals. They were very generous. It was also a case of them living overseas but getting married in their homeland with family there, so def not a surprise or about showing off. However 10 years later, we have 2 kids and a close friend got married and his wife insisted on a destination wedding. They were not subsidising anything and it would have cost us minimum $10k just for flights and accom, then extra for food, transport and ent. We also needed to take 1 week off in our prof jobs plus pull our kids out of school/daycare. 2 other friends and their fams were in similar situations and also didnt have enough leave to get time off work in the mid of the year. But we asked each other, do we want to collectively spend min $30k just to attend his show-off wedding? The answer was a big fat no. None of us actually wanted to go, but felt terrible for declining and the groom was disappointed... but thats what you get if you want a fancy wedding with guests paying $$$ and rearranging their lives to try to attend, and I dont think there would have even been any appreciation! So I dont think all people who have destination weddings are spoiled selfish brats, but if you dont take care of your guests and have expectations for them to come with no appreciation for the sacrifices they have to make, then you are pretty selfish.
Honestly, some people don’t take into consideration the accommodations you have to make to go to a wedding in the middle of the year especially when you have children! Two of my cousins wanted to make their weddings child-free then were kind of offended when a lot of family ended up missing out on their ceremonies. Like if all the adults in the family are going, who’s watching the kids?!
@@morrisahj Yeah the child free thing is kind of obnoxious. I get if space is limited but what happened to the days when people were actually supportive of families and viewed kids as blessings at weddings. It's not like the bride and groom are expected to babysit the children. People like this give me the ick. It's like all about their egoic "love".
@@morrisahj Totally understandable for destination weddings. If it was a day event, you can have someone babysit your kids. But for a few days is too big of a Challenge for any parent
Yeah I think destination weddings should be “hey would you like to come on vacation with us, and also we are getting married during the vacation.” Kind of like when you take a trip coinciding with someone’s birthday. The entire trip is for everyone’s fun, but we’ll do a dinner or something focused on the one person. But in both cases if you have the expectation that the entire thing is about you (as the birthday baby, as the bride/groom, etc), no. I didn’t spend thousands so that I can spend the whole time helping to run the wedding or constantly celebrating you. We had a friend do a destination vow renewal recently. 90% of the trip was just a vacation. On one of the days, they had a late afternoon ceremony and evening dinner, then we went bar hopping after. That’s a good ratio. People would even go off and do their own thing and just sync up for dinner on most days.
I used to make decent money and had some left to play with after bills, savings, and retirement contributions. I grew up poor and have always been incredibly frugal as a result. It felt like most of the people I knew somehow sensed I actually had money, because suddenly, they wanted to do unnecessarily costly crap all the time. Rent a beach house for a weekend. Go to Vegas and stay at the nicest hotel. Pay for VIP service at a nightclub. Have a destination wedding (sorry, but yes, I think destination weddings are a waste of money). I said "No" so much that these people finally stopped inviting me to things. I refuse to spend money unnecessarily just to keep up with everyone else. Now, I have three REAL friends who see the value in simply spending time together. That makes me feel pretty damn rich.
I learned my lesson very early. I was just out of college with a very low income. My best friend ask me to be her maid of honor, but the wedding was in a different country. That trip cost me so much money that I end up hating every part of the trip because of that. Since then I never EVER said yes to going to a wedding that will require me to travel. Thankfully my friends are like me and all of them had very affordable weeding to the point that for one was outside their patio with a food truck. Love that weeding
I’m 73 yo but when I had a destination wedding I paid for all guests flights and accommodation - I would never expect them to pay Still what a beautiful destination and I hope you loved Italy ❤🇦🇺
@@carolynthompson6518 would you mind sharing what kind of profession and position did you have at that time? And where the wedding was. Just curious since life was probably slightly different back then
I agree with you. I am not wealthy enough myself and I would only do a destination wedding if I could afford to cover my guests invitation-related expenses in an honest fair mutually beneficial agreement.
I am all for destination wedding. As long as there's no pressure to attend and the guests are being told early on, i don't see any problem. They can attend, or they can just give their congratulations
Yes. The couple really needs to create a no pressure or expectation environment before extending an invitation and be clear when making the invite about the freedom to say no as well.
We had a “destination wedding”, but the destination is within a short drive of where my wife and I live, along with most of her family and friends. So it was my family that mostly had to travel, but people would be traveling no matter what since our families don’t live near each other. We covered accommodations for the wedding party, along with their dresses and suits, and had three dinners and a brunch as part of the wedding activities.
It's traditional in my country for the couple to cover accomodation! So there's the cost of travel, outfits and a gift left to the people attending. It can still be expensive, but I can't imagine my guests paying 2/3 thousands simply not to be excluded from the celebrations
Most of us will also need to factor in any lost wages for taking days off on either end of the wedding weekend, or burning some of our personal vacation time, if we’re lucky enough to have any. Additionally, it’s still expected to bring a gift of some sort, which is generally expected to be at least moderately nice. We usually spend $100 - $200 for friends, or more for family. Destination weddings are a burden. I know that you want a princess moment to look back on, but that’s what the honeymoon is for. The wedding shouldn’t be a $5000+ expense for the people around you. That feels greedy and self centered, or at the very least, insensitive to the position of everyone you invite. Sure, some guests won’t even bay an eye to do it, but some will feel pressured to be there, to the great detriment of their current financial situation.
So you guys basically went on vacation lol 😂 looks like a great time! Hope you guys celebrated your union while you were there too! Mine as well lmao 🤷♀️
I'm from Europe and in my country, guests would expect the young couple to organize (!) and cover the travel costs and accommodation. So, for me, it is unusual for guests to raise such costs. Perhaps this will change in our country and people will make an effort to ensure that their friends get married in an unique place. However, guests are expected to give gifts appropriate to the occasion. The more grand the wedding, the more expensive the gifts are expected.. A wedding is a huge expense, so generation Z prefers more modest events.
I'm currently in the same situation and I'm the maid of honor. Which puts immense pressure on me, financial and mental. My friend decided to have 3 weddings and I have to attend all three and make girls' night. I wish people would be more compassionate towards others and their possibilities. My wedding will be small and I'll cover all expenses for my guests. They are coming to enjoy and bless us in our marriage, not to break the bank.
Three weddings??? Wow, I’ve heard of having two if the bridge and groom are from different cultures (like one is a typical western / American wedding and the other is a typical Chinese wedding, for instance) but three is a lot
I relate so much to this. My friend asked me to be a bridesmaid and she expects so much. The financial commitment is insane. I could never ask my friends to put there life on hold for a year and spend thousands of dollars on my wedding. I don’t know how this has become a normal thing.
@@cottontailcrossing4613 I'm sorry 😞 we'll get through this, and in the future choose carefully whether we want this commitment or not. If I could go back in time, I would just say no. But hey, we got this.
You know just bc someone asks, you don't HAVE to accept that role. It's literally event planning and organizing and making sure they're happy and having fun for free. I'd do it for my best friend for a small wedding. Destination? Hire someone lol
I went to a destination wedding once. 2500 dollars later, i swore to never go to another one again. Aside from the wedding itself, i didn't even really enjoy the trip. Drove around Oahu with no parking anywhere on July 4th week by myself. Plane got delayed and i had to use an extra day of PTO while stressing about getting back to mainland. After ten hours of waiting in Kaui (Island Air), i was stuck in the airport into 2 AM when they got us a hotel. Crashed in bed at 3 AM and then had to wait for the next flight which is once a day at the same time). This was my best friend in high school and i wasn't even a groomsman. We're still close, but that was a waste of four days and so much money
I probably wouldn't attend a destination wedding alone. It probably wouldn't have been as bad if you had other friends there with you. Besides the groom of course. Or if it was a family members weddings and you had parents, siblings, cousins, etc there. The flight getting delayed isn't his fault of course, but it makes sense that it would turn you off of future destination weddings.
@@elise85391 can't get delayed on a flight out of nowhere if you're not going to a destination wedding. None of it is "his fault". But the choice of a destination wedding has these ramifications
@@Shadowboost I mean you could have had to travel to a wedding that’s local for the bride and groom but not for you (in which case it’s not really a destination wedding) and that could’ve happened. Or you could’ve been there on a completely non-wedding related vacation and that could’ve happened, or even on a business trip.
@@elise85391 I would have had a "destination" wedding if he had it at home. But I'm out 150 dollars for a plane ticket, with free housing, car, food, etc. and plenty of other friends to hang out with. I don't mind a delay because that's just more time in a place where I actually enjoy. I fly back to that area five times a year regardless. Business trip, I'm compensated for that. I literally get paid while flying. I'm also not paying 2500 dollars of my own money. I have traveled to over twenty other countries. I have never had as bad of a time as that trip. Him choosing the busiest time in one of the most traveled destinations in the United States has a lot to do with that. It even has a lot to do with the delay. I will never do a destination wedding again. I don't consider going home a destination, btw. I politely declined going to my cousin's wedding in Mexico
Nope-I would never do this to my guests. This is obviously a couple, or a bride, that's more interested in the photos and the telling of the wedding story than the actual marriage. Asking their guests to put out this kind of money and adding this much stress to everyone is ridiculous. Those that can't afford all of this just don't get to be at the wedding? That's not how it should be. Of course everyone, usually the bride lol, wants a beautiful wedding with a great story and awesome photos but- I'm willing to bet they could have found an amazing place that didn't require their guests to spend thousands of dollars.
I could never but I hope you two had a great experience. it looked like you had fun and if you haven't traveled together before it would be great "rehearsal trip".
We are germans and didn't have a destination wedding. We still had more than a few guests that had to travel several hours, which meant they needed to stay overnight. We booked and paid for needed rooms.
This is the beautiful thing about destination weddings. You can invite as many as you want, but you know they won’t all come. So you don’t have to sweat over who to leave out of the invite so no one is offended about that. And you are totally not offended when they can’t afford to come. And when someone does decide to fork out the money to come, it makes it more special because you know they jumped through hoops to get there.
What great friends. I hope the bride and groom appreciate all the effort and expense everyone put in to help celebrate their love. Hope you all made amazing memories ❤️
Also factor in the fact that you had to take a week off of work x 2 people. And you flew coach. That’s difficult for me at 6’3”, 245. And then do they still expect a gift? I’m guessing do if they are the type that have a destination wedding in lake como. And I’m sure it’s not $20 slipped into a card
My son an his fiancée tried to have a destination wedding. I told him that was fine but I would not be there. I told him there were too many people in our families and it was not fair for them to ask people to pay to attend his wedding. There will always be some out of town guests but it’s different going to a wedding in the states than it is going to a wedding out of the country. So they changed their mind and had a beautiful wedding here. In this day & time it is very selfish to ask people to fork out thousands of $ to attend a wedding. If you, your family and friends have it like that then go ahead.
why is it customary for family to pay shouldnt the host cover accom and food even transport for family? can anyone explain why people have to pay for their own hotels and food and travel while going to someones wedding?
If you really want to have a destination wedding, take only your very closest family and friends and pay for them. Budget that into the wedding cost. Pay for a photographer and videographer and show everyone else the photos and videos when you return. Or, get married in the states, save your hard earned $, and go to the destination for your honeymoon.
I think it's selfish for the mother of the bride to impose her ideas on her son's wanting. It's their wedding they can do what they want. If you don't want to attend don't attend.
This is how it works in the states, so what's the difference? I went to an out of state wedding. I had to pay for transportation & gas; & accomodations. The bridal party arranged for blocks of rooms at different properties as a discounted rates; and a gift. Other than a Welcome Reception on one night AND Wedding Reception on another night, still had to pay for other meals. SO, you had a vacation with friends.
Having attended about a dozen out of state weddings over the years, this is pretty much how it works. Don't know why everyone is so up in arms about it.
Destination wedding: -20,000pts 3 mandatory formal events: -5,000 Required boat travel: - 8,000 Not putting in for hotel: -10,000 The groom and bride are definitely going to the bad place!
Absolutely. I have heard that a fair number of South Asian couples who get married in New Zealand do so to avoid the ruinously expensive celebrations they would be expected to lay on at home - serious debt.
For destination weddings, why don't the hosts arrange for cheap or free accommodations on site. Like they can rent a whole floor or several floors. Yeah im sure i know people im close with but none of us would force the other to spend so much money.
Let’s be honest, destination weddings might be nice for the bride and groom but they are a financial burden on the guests (unless it’s all expenses paid by the bride/groom, which is rare). Why don’t the bride and groom have a small get together with the guests in their home location and the splurge on a destination just for themselves?
If it turns out to be a nice vacation in a beautiful place with people you truly care about, it’s worth it. You approached it cost effectively and I’m sure the couple really appreciates you being there. Cheers!
I always assumed that if it was a destination wedding, its the responsibility of the groom and bride to borne some of the expenses such as special rates at an allocated hotel
My current dilemma. Friend is from Brazil, wedding is in Brazil 🤯 I didn’t go on holiday last year because I was saving to buy a house! But I caved in a I’m going. I’ll have to do some extra shifts to not eat in to my savings. Yes I know I’m the stupid one!😬
That's crazy! Hell no! If people want that, the family should be footing the whole bill! Since when do people have to pay for everything instead of the families? Terrible, and low class! Plus a nice gift is expected from the guests. Ridiculous!
It reminds me of those folks that want to have month long birthday celebrations. Okay good luck to you. I’ll go to the actual bday event and peace be onto you from there.
This is why i will never understand why people choose destination weddings and why i would decline to attend one. For me when i got married i felt so guilty because we got married in the state my husband and his family lived in and ALL ny family and friends had to travel the 1000kms interstate to attend, i told each of them that could come that their attendance was wedding gift enough.
Destination weddings are expensive! We went to a wedding in Santorini, Greece a nutritiously expensive island, and we went as a 5, my parents with me and my siblings. But the benefits of a destination wedding is you can have a smaller wedding and have a few but specific amount of people at your wedding instead of just everyone your support to invite. It was nice, might do my future wedding as a destination wedding we’ll see.
I can't see myself having a destination wedding and not paying for my guest lodging etc. It's my wedding, I should accommodate and scale the wedding accordingly to my budget
To have a destination wedding is one thing, to have it in one of the most expensive spots on another continent is a whole new level of selfishness! I feel those who have destination weddings and actually expect people to attend at their own expense lack awareness and are frankly quite self-centered.
I hate destination weddings, either elope on your own, or have a wedding, not both. I spent $5000 on my whole wedding, im not paying that to attend someone elses
I’m German and my husband is Spanish. We married in Barcelona because most of his family members live there, so it was easier for everyone to come. We invited just the closest friends and family members from Germany and paid the night at the hotel when we married in Barcelona. I think that’s the fairest way to give everyone the chance to attend to the wedding.
destination weddings are beautiful and im sure lots of fun, but also so inconvenient for guests. go on the honeymoon to a beautiful destination spot instead.
Destination wedding attendees are for people who were planning to take a vacation anyway and just did it around the wedding invite . Or if you just have the time and money for it . I don’t know why people are so mad at the bride and groom when attending is always optional.
Yeah, I think it's okay as long as you won't be upset about anybody not wanting to/not being able to attend. And if you want a specific person there that badly, that you'd be upset if they didn't come, you should be able to/willing to cover their costs.
Yeah, that's the only way I'd attend. Sure, I like to travel, but if I've already shelled out enough on other travel for the year, or otherwise wouldn't be able to have my own vacation in conjunction with the wedding (for any reason), I wouldn't go.
Even as a Filipino we have a consideration that if we invited you to the wedding we atleast provide accommodations and carry the expenses of your stay … that’s why I always check before going to a wedding
Haha why do you say ‘even as a Filipino’? Don’t get me wrong I would say the same, I’m Dutch so no one would spend this much money to go to someone’s wedding 😂 probably not even on their own wedding. I don’t know anyone who has had a destination wedding 😅
Someone in my extended family did a destination wedding to Italy. They reduced the guest list from 200 to only 20. I didn’t make the second cut, but I saw the photos. Absolutely amazing! The catch is, I know for sure they paid for the flight tickets and hotel accommodations of all their 20 guests. Other than clothes, got to enjoy the 3-day wedding in Italy cost free.
Goodness me 😅 I’ve always wanted to be invited to a wedding but I think attending a destination wedding would be financially devastating 😯 and you can’t even do all the holiday things you might usually that justify the investment because you are occupied with the wedding 😅😅
Some people can’t even afford to take vacations and then you got people with these destination weddings and then they act like you don’t care about them if you don’t spend 10k on flights and hotels and buying them an expensive gift on top of it. If you are gonna have a wedding in Italy you’re paying for my plane ticket or I ain’t coming period point blank
I had a „destination party“ for my 25th birthday a few weeks ago and it was only natural to me to pay for accommodation of my guests, I only invited my best friends so we were like 5 people but if I’m gonna celebrate my birthday in Sicily it’s my decision and I can’t expect you to pay for that 😂
I think I'd would have a destination elopement, basically a wedding honeymoon 2 in 1. I don't have a lot people close to me so I think saving a little more money so I could pay for my mom and sister to come to the wedding.
That’s what we’re doing!! We’re thinking Zion or Joshua Tree and it’ll be small enough and exonomkcal enough (1 location for ceremony, reception, lodging, and honeymoon, we’re renting out an airbnb compound and housing everyone and doing everything in that one spot then they leave and we stay and honeymoon) that we can gift the travel and stay to our few close family and friends we want there. It’s going to be perfect!! Can’t imagine forcing people to pay or not come! 😮
My parents' friend also had a wedding in Italy (they live in Switzerland and most of their families is around there as well), so the cost were a bit smaller, but still, they paid for all the trnsportations on the wedding days, the private tours to visit the city and the hotel rooms of their guests. And I think, everyone who decides to have their wesding in another country, should do the same!
OK, so if you're a guest who cannot afford the travel expenses for your family, you should have everything paid by the newlyweds. But if you're the newlyweds (with a low or normal income) and have already to pay lots of money for your wedding and starting a life together, you have to pay ALSO for travel and accommodation for at least 20-40 guests? This doesn't make sense to me.
@@paole9729 I mean, if you can't afford it, just celebrate it with very close people (5-10 peeps) and do the big party somewhere near everyone. I don't understand why the guests have to pay just because the newlyweds decided to go somewhere expensive
@alyn.s Because it's important to tell people that you would like them to be there. People might also get offended if they haven't been invited and feel a 'category B' person in your life. Of course they can choose if they want to attend or not. I attended a few weddings abroad and paid my part, even when the hotel was paid for. Being a financial burden for the newlyweds seems rude to me.
@@paole9729 if they get envious, then they aren't the right people to be in your life. I totally understand if the newlyweds want to have only close ones like parents, siblings and best friends to their abroad wedding. That does not mean it won't be celebrated at all at a restaurant or so with the others. If the newlyweds don't have enough money to pay a trip for their guests at their wedding, I believe they shouldn't have it abroad. Mostly because the guests can't even really visit or do what they wish to in the country they had to pay to reach, but have to follow a plan made by the groom and bride and may not want to have to spend Idk how much on a boat like here just to attend one event. If they can't afford it for everyone, they shouldn't plan to have it abroad, nothing can really change my mind there. (Also, if the guest decided they want to pay for their stay themselves, that is something else)
@alyn.s Hi Alyn, thanks for your response. I understand your point of view and think it makes sense in a normal situation where the newlyweds come from the same area and where both families and groups of friends live. In my previous comments I should have added this element that was already in my thoughts: if you're an expat (e.g. a woman who met her husband in the country where they currently reside) you still would like all your families and groups of friends at your wedding. So what would you do in this case, Alyn? Two weddings in two different countries? Or even in 3-4 countries if you've got family/ friends in various parts of the world? 🤔
There are lots of accommodation in the area at a 30 min drive. It’s not like you have to book a lake view room. Btw destination wedding are something that should be avoided.
We wanted to stay in the area that was closest to all three wedding events (and we didn’t have a car with us) - there are definitely other options, though 😊
Honestly for the location and type of hotel $300/night isn’t terrible. It’s not cheap persay but you could be in less exotic locations and pay a lot more!
💯😁 our family had our first destination wedding experience last fall for my brother's wedding. So, we went to Mexico City, MX and it was amazing but costly. We are blessed we had the best time with our family❤ 👍🎉
Sweet baby Jesus! I truly hope it was worth it for both of you and you had a fantastic time. I don't love anyone that much that it would cost me my first born child to attend their destination wedding. If someone really wanted me to attend they would be footing the bill for that much travel, airfare and accomidations. You two are really loyal friend's or family to the couple getting married. I commend you on that. Here's hoping it was a trip you'll never forget and you made a lot of memories. Cheers!🍾
Thank you so much! We didn't stay too much longer as we'd already done some travelling earlier this year, but we added an extra day before and after the wedding event days! We also had a lot of time to explore the area each morning - it was a beautiful location 😊
They want to save money having a wedding ceremony overseas by others paying for it. I would be ashamed to even offer it. How do they know if others can even afford it?
It’s crazy how much people expect guests to pay to attend their wedding! Of course, you have the option to not go, but again, that puts people in an awkward and potentially embarrassing situation. For my daughter’s recent wedding we rented a beautiful Manor House for 3 days and nights. Most of the attendees lived within a half hour drive of the venue and the remainder were accommodated in the bedrooms in the house. All food and drink provided by us. No gifts were requested, although many people did bring something. No dress code, so as long as you felt appropriate and comfortable no need to buy fancy outfits. It was a great wedding and nobody had to go broke ( except us 🤣🤣🤣, but our decision to make 😊).
If you wanna get married, please get married, but I ain't spending thousands to attend 😂
Those of us who plan destination weddings know this
For real!!
I would joined virtually 😂
Same
No one u know would invite u to a destination wedding don’t worry 😂
Friend: We’re getting married in Italy!
Me: That sounds nice! Have fun!
😂😂😂
😂
Oh darn! I really wanted to be there, but…ahhh, I can’t afford to do that right now. Bummer, I really wanted to go 😊
Same 🙋🏻♀️🤣
As someone who did get married in Italy will tell you....They are hoping people won't come and are off the hook from having to invite everyone under the sun back in the US
Destination weddings sound like a financial nightmare 😅
Only for those people who make it one
Regular wedding are already a financial burden.
That’s prob weddings in general.
And they are lol
@@fluffytail6355or those who cannot afford to throw over 2k on someone else’s party smh
My wife and I had a destination wedding. We used our wedding as a gift to our parents. Her parents never had a honeymoon, and my parents hadn't gone on vacation in over 10 years at that time. We paid for their lodging and travel. Food and drinks were covered with the lodging. We even purchased activity packets for them so they wouldn't have to come out of pocket for certain things. We didn't invite anyone else to the wedding. Instead, we hosted a dinner party at our home after we returned. Invited friends and family to celebrate with us, which was a lot of fun.
Absolutely brilliant! Smart of you and your wife.
I love this!🥹❤
That sounds more like it.
Very considerate and such a smart way to plan 🤞
This is a destination wedding done right. Sounds awesome.
For anyone wondering, the total was 3,624.69. This doesn't include the outfits.
Is that total for 2 people? Cause if you divide it by half it feels more reasonable. Friend got married in Hawaii and it cost more than that per person even tho it was in the US.
@@Littlestephy29 that isn't reasonable in any world. My sister probably spent less than that total for the whole wedding and it was lovely.
If you're travelling and spending 💰 in a different currency, I'd say it's reasonable. They could've chosen not to go but they did and it doesn't seem like they're complaining. Just sharing what their expenses were @@sashimster3243
I’m sorry but l think your addition is a lil wrong because the prices shown were per individual so you’re supposed to multiply the total by 3. 1,624.69* 3=
This is around what I got, but I think it's CAD. In euros it's about 2500 euro and 2800 USD based on today's exchange rates. The flights were reasonable but I think the hotels ended up being the most costly.
Got invited to a destination wedding for my cousin and I had to decline. We were saving up for a house and were not even spending money on ourselves to go on vacation.
My uncle called my mother and it caused this huge issue.
We were not the only ones who declined the invitation.
The cost to us to attend this wedding not even including the gift would have been over 5k in travel and lodging expenses.
To this day half my extended family does not talk to me.
I’d have asked how many of them were willing to sponsor the trip since they wanted you there so bad. Smh.
@@WildtingzThats the thing.
It was all just to show off.
When my grandparents moved to this country they opened a bakery and lived in an apartment.
When they were able to buy a house they purchased a two family house so the three kids could have a nice start to save up for their own houses.
My uncle being the oldest got married first and moved in and stayed never moving out. He never paid a dime of rent and never turned down an opportunity to flaunt money in everybody’s face.
It looks like you got ride of people that you shouldn’t have in you life, that’s a win for you
@@mangos007 True.
It’s just difficult when it’s family.
Sounds like something the family from my dad would do 100% the same. And let me tell you as a parent myself that has a responsibility they just needed a reason to hate on you and finally you have them. Enjoy your life savings with your loved ones not for other people 👏🏽🙏🤲🏽🫶
this is such an interesting perspective!
at most Indian destination weddings, the bride & groom/their families cover the stay. this usually includes transport to and from the airport, food and certain services like laundry.
the guests only pay for their flights & any other personal expense like clothing for the wedding!
I'm not Indian but I would say that's the only way to go...
The only issue is (atleast in North Indian weddings) the brides family is expected to foot 100% of the bill of the wedding because she’s marrying into the grooms family. I feel like Indian weddings need to start normalising a 50/50 split for the wedding
even some time flight are paid
@@catharticmemefairy2088 I am from north India and all the weddings I know about were split 50-50. I don't know what part of the country you are from, but maybe this is a norm in your area not all of North India.
@@catharticmemefairy2088 I can't speak for the whole of India, but I think things are changing. there's been quite a few weddings in my circle recently, and all of them have been 50/50, or, each side pays for their respective guests. I've also seen the bride & groom foot the bill without any familial support.
but we definitely have a long way to go seeing as the mindset hasn't changed. and don't even get me started on dowry :(
This is why we got married at the courthouse and spent it all on the honeymoon. Still ended up just as married as everyone else.
Lol, “just as married.”
That's a really smart financial decision
@@Ninaloasanasometimes ain’t all about finances
Lmao that's amazing. "Still ended up just as married as everyone else." SO true. We had a church wedding and a backyard bbq.
My husband and I did the same!
Such interesting comments. My brother married abroad (his wife and her family lived in Northern Ireland). We all (family and friends, about 40 people) went. We got to see an amazing country we would have probably never visited, and also went to a couple places in Europe. We are not rich, and it was a sacrifice for sure. But one I will NEVER regret!! We saw a beautiful wedding, travelled, and made lifelong memories!!!
Thank God there’s still one positive person still on CZcams. When did everyone get so selfish! Have a great day
Thank you. Have a great day as well@@benglishman !!!
That's what I'd do, turn it into an extended vacay. From the US, the flights over there are one of the biggest, if not the biggest cost. So if you're already there, might as well stay longer, and see a few more things! Especially if it's a cool country (which I know is really subjective, but still).
Exactly!! It gives you an "excuse" to actually go to Europe (if it's in Europe), and honestly, I loved every single place we went to, and we did it on the cheap and didn't stay in fancy places, or eat any fancy foods, but we still loved it!! Also, internal flights in Europe can be found for as low as $10 each way if you buy them about 6 months in advance!! So, you really can see lots of places for cheap! @@elise85391
Not everyone has time or the money to go abroad. And that's okay, but don't get angry at people who don't attend a wedding abroad. It works two ways.
I am italian and i live 2 hours away from Como, also half of my family lives there, but I never went on my own because it's too expensive. I cannot imagine going there from the States. This would have easily financially wrecked me. I hope you had a great time though. 💜
From Canada
@@jessicahunter2976 you're right, and from Canada is even more expensive due to higher priced plane tickets and smaller salaries overall. Canada somehow has bigger taxes and pricier housing, so literally the effort to fly from Canada is even bigger than from the US. They must have been really close to the bride and groom.
this is exactly why I would never have a destination wedding, it puts a lot of stress and expense on your guest.
It definitely is much more of a financial commitment than a local wedding!
I don’t agree! There’s no pressure for the guests to go. They should only do it if they can afford it!
@@alexandrapritchard4901 if it is someone really close to you of course you feel like you should go, even if you know you can't afford it. I know some parents who have had to miss their kids wedding because they didn't have the means to go . Some of us have a choice to go or not, some people simply can't.
In India if we have a destination wedding, the hosts put up the guests. The guests only pay for the travel.
This is how you have a good wedding
The only way I’d do this is if my bestie met their spouse abroad. No way I’m dishing out money like that for people who just wanna be fancy for fancy sake. Save that for the honeymoon
well said!
Weirdly enough destination weddings can cost the same abroad as they can local if you’re in the US. Everything for weddings is so much more expensive (cake makers charge double for a wedding vs the exact same cake for something like a birthday party) and the venue in the US can easily exceed 20-40k. Prices in Europe for that kinda stuff can be so much cheaper that for the bride and groom, prices may not actually be different.
I think I am forced to have a destination wedding because me and my partner are from different countries, we've met in another one and now live in a different country. If we organised the wedding in either of these four countries, it would be a destination wedding for some of the guests anyway!
@@laxmitty21 yes! My NYC wedding is cheaper for my family to attempt than having it in Honolulu. I'm literally getting married there so that the majority of both of our families can attend for a reasonable cost
@@laxmitty21my husband and I dodged the wedding cake thing by doing a non-processed celebration. Frankly we both have a lot of family members better off not eating cake 😂
Destination weddings are so imposing. Thinking you are so important that most Americans would sacrifice their vacation on your life choices is wild. I am German living in America and when I got married here 10 years ago I invited my German folks and I used one golden rule: would I do the same thing for the people I invited. Trust me, my list of wedding guests got really small real quick.
Smart
Imposing and inconsiderate
It’s a personal choice for those who can afford it, some people like destination wedding because they feel obligated to invite all their family but know they can’t attend if it’s out of country or they just want to!
@@farahaleman6185 that’s a very passive aggressive way of dealing with your family but that’s none of my business ☕️
Not at all imposing unless the person expects you to come despite any financial burden. In my experience, people that throw destination weddings understand that they will have far fewer RSVP’s and they’re fine with that trade off.
We got married in our own church in the town we both lived in. We served cake nuts, mints and non alcoholic punch at the reception which was also held at our church. It was simpler than many weddings, but the marriage has lasted 31 years and is still going strong.
I had to honestly check and see if this is a post I had written. Heh. Same with me, and I have been married 35 years. That said, my sister got married a few years ago and had a somewhat local (drivable) destination wedding and she and my brother-in-law paid for everything for every single guest. Hotel, food, everything. It was elegant and beautiful and the memory of that weekend, even with our mother who has since passed, remains forever. It was one of the happiest weekends of my life. So I can see each side.
Pretty sure even some churches these days would charge an arm and a leg to let you use that space. Unless, maybe, it's a church that you both actively attend and tithe to and such. Which is less and less common for young people these days. But that, and opinions on that, are an entirely separate topic.
Best wedding I ever went to had Chick fil A nugget platters.
you aint have an entree? just some snacks??
Cake nuts?
Here me out: people have destination weddings when they want to have a small wedding. They invite everyone assuming most won’t come. They do this on purpose and it saves them from having to cut people out of their guest list in fear of having too many people. If I were to plan my wedding again I would consider doing a destination wedding just because there would probably be less drama.
Then just be honest and have a small wedding. If you invite people it's gives them a false sense that you actually care about having them there.
You invite someone hoping they don’t go. Why even bother?
That's not the way to handle conflict.
I agree. I just got an invite for my second cousin's wedding. She and the groom are from different countries. I live in a 3rd country as does most of her family. And they are getting married in a 4th one lol. My first thought was she must not want a lot of people to attend.
This is why you never be so rude as to ask people to travel the world for your day. You go. You come home. You have your reception Stateside. It’s a lovely idea to have those you love surround you on your day. But it’s just as lovely as to consider what hurdles they have to leap to get there. Be fair to everyone’s checkbook.
not just the money but time, who wants to spend days on someone else's occasion
@cortezconquistadorit's rude BECAUSE most people are broke. Unless you hang out with wealthy people it's rude to assume your friends have thousands of dollars lying around for a shitty trip to someone else's "special day".
Guest need to be fair to the people getting married. It’s their day. Not the other way around.
@cortezconquistador wow. You’re special.
Or you could just invite them to the destination that you want for your wedding, and they can politely decline.
I could never do a destination wedding. The fact I could potentially put people who care about me in debt just to see me walk the aisle is pretty crazy
Or you could invite a handful of people and save up to pay their way. Idk 🤷🏾♀️
I wouldn't do a wedding period.
I had a relative who did a "destination wedding" that permanently injured relations within the family. They wanted to pay for all their guests' accommodation (nice), so they only invited a tiny number (less than 20) of people to their wedding (bad). The relatives who were left out permanently wondered whether they were really welcome to have a relationship with the couple.
@@MyFiddlePlayer dang that's insane. The other members should have asked if they could go if they pay their part but at the same time it's just such an awkward situation
@@JuancoPRoFlowWrong answer!
You must really really like the couple getting married to spend that much money. If it's a sibling I can see doing it (maybe😉) but not just for anyone. Glad you had a good time though and were able to go and make some memories with everyone.💕 Loved the outfits you both wore. 👍🏻👍🏻
You must have been able to afford those airline tickets, three outfits, motel costs, ferry, etc. etc. etc.
This video seems more like a brag than anything else. Hubby and I spent ten days in Italy, two in Rome, three in Napoli and five on Capri for less than three grand. That included Amtrak tickets to and from JFK, hotel in NYC, airfare, food, tours, transportation and momentos.
@@samsmom1491a brag? you were not doing the same thing as them? took a different route, possibly different airlines, a different time of year (yes it does make a major difference) with different activities. as a guest of a wedding you don’t exactly have the option of staying in a different major city unless you’re planning a stay outside of the wedding itself.
They like the attention they get online and being able to say they went to a destination wedding.
It’s more self serving than it seems:
1) they got to go on an extravagant vacation and “blame” on a wedding they had to attend
2) they get to look like a really great friend every time they tell someone how they spent $10k to go to a destination wedding
3) they made an IG vid on it
If someone went to a destination wedding and didn’t tell anyone (only the bride/groom and attendees know) then I would say it’s a sincere act of friendship
This looks like it was fun. Y’all It’s ok if you can’t afford or don’t feel comfortable going to or having a destination wedding, but it is also ok for others to go. No big deal either way.
Thanks for the transparency in costs!
Of course! 😊
Unless I have the money to help everyone attending with the costs I'll keep my wedding close to home. I don't want to force people to pay a lot of money just to attend my wedding.
No one is ever forced to attend a wedding
@fluffytail6355 its about being a decent person
@@asadb1990
100 % agree
Maybe legally you can't force anyone to attend but socially, some of us are "forced". If you can't really afford it/would have to sacrifice you holidays for that year or maybe you don't even like weddings, there are often situations when you are required to come and not doing that could break a friendship or cause some tension in the family.
@katd7716 yeah but as the host, its your duty to know the financial standing on the surface. Like based on how your friend lives and the car they drive. Also for destination weddings it would be best if the host picks up the slack and tried their best to minimize costs to guest. Like bulk renting hotel rooms at a better price. Covering meals, etc. In my culture the costs for guests at a wedding are very low. Most out of town guests get free accommodation, food and return fare. I know not everyone can afford that, but we try and make it easier on guests
So all together about $4,000 for the both of you, not including the outfits 😳
I know it does sound expensive but for a vacation to Lake Como, your overall costs for two were pretty good. It helps some of your meals were covered.
And the wedding gifts.
Yeah, great deal, top class. You two looked great.
@@thelovedheirit doesn't matter if it's relatively cheap for that destination if it's not relatively cheap for your wallet.
Sounds good for Lake Como for 2 people. Even the hotel price is good compared what I’ve seen for lackluster places. 😂😂
Couples should do a small intimate destination wedding of just the married couple, and maybe immediate family members, best friends. Where the couple actually gets officially married.
The bigger wedding reception could be local, so the majority of people can afford to go, after the couple is married.
I’m from the states and had my wedding in Europe because my husband is from there. No one was pressured to attend and if anything my immediate family was thrilled to have an excuse to travel to Europe. I didn’t hold it against anyone who didn’t want to attend 🤷🏻♀️ So if you’re invited to a destination wedding and don’t want to go just check that little box, the bride and groom will be just fine 😉
Our oldest son was getting married and his fiancé texted me that they were going to get married in Hawaii and I politely declined because we couldn’t afford it(turned out her mom couldn’t afford it either) so they changed it to Vegas and again I politely had to decline because we couldn’t afford it plus my husband wasn’t physically able to do it due to health issues and a recent surgery. I also reminded her that my mother who was suffering from severe dementia wouldn’t be able to attend and that was another reason why I couldn’t go because I had to help take care of my mother and my brother couldn’t attend either. She became livid at me and accused me of not wanting them to get married and for her to have the wedding she wanted. It was definitely not the case, I wanted to be at my first child’s wedding but finances and life circumstances would not allow me to travel for the event and of course his dad wanted to be there too but a week in Vegas wasn’t in the cards for us and I couldn’t leave my brother holding the full responsibility of our mother and working full time for a week like that. I apologized and tried to just leave it at that. She had asked my daughter to be a bridesmaid and she had picked a $200 dress for her(not in our budget either). I am not 100% sure what transpired but they ended up getting married locally in a park and she snubbed my daughter being a bridesmaid at it, her maid of honor wasn’t wearing anything near the dress she had sent me. 🤷🏻♀️ so checking the box didn’t work out well for me.
@@desertfamilyhomestead3127 obviously each situation is different. I was mostly responding to the comments where people were invited to a friends destination wedding or weren’t immediate family members. Since I knew my siblings, grandma, and mom would for sure be able to make it I had no issue having the wedding in Europe, anyone else who was able to come was an added bonus but those who weren’t I held no ill feelings towards (my best friend at the time couldn’t attend). It was also far less expensive than if I were to have it back in California but if my mom wouldn’t be able to make it I’m sure would have reconsidered the destination.
@@desertfamilyhomestead3127 how long ago did that happen I wonder if they’re still married. Looks like your sons bride was either very young and naive in general or very demanding financially against. Was your son able to provide for her at her requirement or is she making a lot of money on her own? so many questions and so few answers
@@Swan.princess 4 years ago. Yes they are still married and she does make good money. They are in their 30’s so not so young and naïve.
In most of the Indian weddings, the accommodation cost is usually covered by the host if it's a destination wedding. Even in case of local weddings, the hosts usually book some sort of accommodation for the guests coming from outside the state near the hosts' house or the wedding venue.
Which makes the wedding even more expensive.
Same here when it comes to African weddings!
I have been to 2 destination weddings. Both were in my late 20s as a young couple. There was no pressure to attend, but it was an absolute pleasure to attend, and it was fun to travel in a group. We basically only paid for flights and the bride and groom gave us accomodation and took care of transports and most meals. They were very generous. It was also a case of them living overseas but getting married in their homeland with family there, so def not a surprise or about showing off.
However 10 years later, we have 2 kids and a close friend got married and his wife insisted on a destination wedding. They were not subsidising anything and it would have cost us minimum $10k just for flights and accom, then extra for food, transport and ent. We also needed to take 1 week off in our prof jobs plus pull our kids out of school/daycare. 2 other friends and their fams were in similar situations and also didnt have enough leave to get time off work in the mid of the year. But we asked each other, do we want to collectively spend min $30k just to attend his show-off wedding? The answer was a big fat no. None of us actually wanted to go, but felt terrible for declining and the groom was disappointed... but thats what you get if you want a fancy wedding with guests paying $$$ and rearranging their lives to try to attend, and I dont think there would have even been any appreciation!
So I dont think all people who have destination weddings are spoiled selfish brats, but if you dont take care of your guests and have expectations for them to come with no appreciation for the sacrifices they have to make, then you are pretty selfish.
"we would have loved to attend but between the 4 of us we decided to get a boat instead"
Honestly, some people don’t take into consideration the accommodations you have to make to go to a wedding in the middle of the year especially when you have children! Two of my cousins wanted to make their weddings child-free then were kind of offended when a lot of family ended up missing out on their ceremonies. Like if all the adults in the family are going, who’s watching the kids?!
@@morrisahj Yeah the child free thing is kind of obnoxious. I get if space is limited but what happened to the days when people were actually supportive of families and viewed kids as blessings at weddings. It's not like the bride and groom are expected to babysit the children. People like this give me the ick. It's like all about their egoic "love".
@@morrisahj Totally understandable for destination weddings. If it was a day event, you can have someone babysit your kids. But for a few days is too big of a Challenge for any parent
Yeah I think destination weddings should be “hey would you like to come on vacation with us, and also we are getting married during the vacation.”
Kind of like when you take a trip coinciding with someone’s birthday. The entire trip is for everyone’s fun, but we’ll do a dinner or something focused on the one person.
But in both cases if you have the expectation that the entire thing is about you (as the birthday baby, as the bride/groom, etc), no. I didn’t spend thousands so that I can spend the whole time helping to run the wedding or constantly celebrating you.
We had a friend do a destination vow renewal recently. 90% of the trip was just a vacation. On one of the days, they had a late afternoon ceremony and evening dinner, then we went bar hopping after. That’s a good ratio. People would even go off and do their own thing and just sync up for dinner on most days.
I used to make decent money and had some left to play with after bills, savings, and retirement contributions. I grew up poor and have always been incredibly frugal as a result. It felt like most of the people I knew somehow sensed I actually had money, because suddenly, they wanted to do unnecessarily costly crap all the time. Rent a beach house for a weekend. Go to Vegas and stay at the nicest hotel. Pay for VIP service at a nightclub. Have a destination wedding (sorry, but yes, I think destination weddings are a waste of money). I said "No" so much that these people finally stopped inviting me to things. I refuse to spend money unnecessarily just to keep up with everyone else. Now, I have three REAL friends who see the value in simply spending time together. That makes me feel pretty damn rich.
I learned my lesson very early. I was just out of college with a very low income. My best friend ask me to be her maid of honor, but the wedding was in a different country.
That trip cost me so much money that I end up hating every part of the trip because of that. Since then I never EVER said yes to going to a wedding that will require me to travel. Thankfully my friends are like me and all of them had very affordable weeding to the point that for one was outside their patio with a food truck. Love that weeding
Ir read maid of horror...must be a freudian mistake. 😄
That tracks: I've been pressured to go on vacation, and ended up silently angry the whole trip. Everything 'fun' felt like a waste of yet more money.
I’m 73 yo but when I had a destination wedding I paid for all guests flights and accommodation - I would never expect them to pay Still what a beautiful destination and I hope you loved Italy ❤🇦🇺
How did you afford it?
@@SapphireRain777 I only had 36 guests but I had a well paying career.
@@carolynthompson6518 would you mind sharing what kind of profession and position did you have at that time? And where the wedding was. Just curious since life was probably slightly different back then
Exactly. You're absolutely right.
I agree with you. I am not wealthy enough myself and I would only do a destination wedding if I could afford to cover my guests invitation-related expenses in an honest fair mutually beneficial agreement.
I am all for destination wedding. As long as there's no pressure to attend and the guests are being told early on, i don't see any problem. They can attend, or they can just give their congratulations
Yes. The couple really needs to create a no pressure or expectation environment before extending an invitation and be clear when making the invite about the freedom to say no as well.
We had a “destination wedding”, but the destination is within a short drive of where my wife and I live, along with most of her family and friends. So it was my family that mostly had to travel, but people would be traveling no matter what since our families don’t live near each other.
We covered accommodations for the wedding party, along with their dresses and suits, and had three dinners and a brunch as part of the wedding activities.
Our destination wedding was in front of a judge in South Carolina. We'll have been married 36 years in a few months.
That's not a destination wedding... you did well
Why would you call it a destination wedding when it is where you live
It's traditional in my country for the couple to cover accomodation! So there's the cost of travel, outfits and a gift left to the people attending. It can still be expensive, but I can't imagine my guests paying 2/3 thousands simply not to be excluded from the celebrations
What are they celebrating, there future divorce 😅😅😅
Most of us will also need to factor in any lost wages for taking days off on either end of the wedding weekend, or burning some of our personal vacation time, if we’re lucky enough to have any. Additionally, it’s still expected to bring a gift of some sort, which is generally expected to be at least moderately nice. We usually spend $100 - $200 for friends, or more for family.
Destination weddings are a burden. I know that you want a princess moment to look back on, but that’s what the honeymoon is for. The wedding shouldn’t be a $5000+ expense for the people around you. That feels greedy and self centered, or at the very least, insensitive to the position of everyone you invite. Sure, some guests won’t even bay an eye to do it, but some will feel pressured to be there, to the great detriment of their current financial situation.
So you guys basically went on vacation lol 😂 looks like a great time! Hope you guys celebrated your union while you were there too! Mine as well lmao 🤷♀️
Sounds like a wonderful time!!
I'm from Europe and in my country, guests would expect the young couple to organize (!) and cover the travel costs and accommodation. So, for me, it is unusual for guests to raise such costs. Perhaps this will change in our country and people will make an effort to ensure that their friends get married in an unique place. However, guests are expected to give gifts appropriate to the occasion. The more grand the wedding, the more expensive the gifts are expected.. A wedding is a huge expense, so generation Z prefers more modest events.
I'm currently in the same situation and I'm the maid of honor. Which puts immense pressure on me, financial and mental. My friend decided to have 3 weddings and I have to attend all three and make girls' night.
I wish people would be more compassionate towards others and their possibilities. My wedding will be small and I'll cover all expenses for my guests. They are coming to enjoy and bless us in our marriage, not to break the bank.
Three weddings??? Wow, I’ve heard of having two if the bridge and groom are from different cultures (like one is a typical western / American wedding and the other is a typical Chinese wedding, for instance) but three is a lot
I relate so much to this. My friend asked me to be a bridesmaid and she expects so much. The financial commitment is insane. I could never ask my friends to put there life on hold for a year and spend thousands of dollars on my wedding. I don’t know how this has become a normal thing.
She sounds like a bridezilla. Just say no.
@@cottontailcrossing4613 I'm sorry 😞 we'll get through this, and in the future choose carefully whether we want this commitment or not. If I could go back in time, I would just say no. But hey, we got this.
You know just bc someone asks, you don't HAVE to accept that role. It's literally event planning and organizing and making sure they're happy and having fun for free. I'd do it for my best friend for a small wedding. Destination? Hire someone lol
I went to a destination wedding once. 2500 dollars later, i swore to never go to another one again. Aside from the wedding itself, i didn't even really enjoy the trip. Drove around Oahu with no parking anywhere on July 4th week by myself. Plane got delayed and i had to use an extra day of PTO while stressing about getting back to mainland. After ten hours of waiting in Kaui (Island Air), i was stuck in the airport into 2 AM when they got us a hotel. Crashed in bed at 3 AM and then had to wait for the next flight which is once a day at the same time). This was my best friend in high school and i wasn't even a groomsman. We're still close, but that was a waste of four days and so much money
I probably wouldn't attend a destination wedding alone. It probably wouldn't have been as bad if you had other friends there with you. Besides the groom of course. Or if it was a family members weddings and you had parents, siblings, cousins, etc there.
The flight getting delayed isn't his fault of course, but it makes sense that it would turn you off of future destination weddings.
@@elise85391 can't get delayed on a flight out of nowhere if you're not going to a destination wedding. None of it is "his fault". But the choice of a destination wedding has these ramifications
@@Shadowboost I mean you could have had to travel to a wedding that’s local for the bride and groom but not for you (in which case it’s not really a destination wedding) and that could’ve happened. Or you could’ve been there on a completely non-wedding related vacation and that could’ve happened, or even on a business trip.
@@elise85391 I would have had a "destination" wedding if he had it at home. But I'm out 150 dollars for a plane ticket, with free housing, car, food, etc. and plenty of other friends to hang out with. I don't mind a delay because that's just more time in a place where I actually enjoy. I fly back to that area five times a year regardless.
Business trip, I'm compensated for that. I literally get paid while flying. I'm also not paying 2500 dollars of my own money.
I have traveled to over twenty other countries. I have never had as bad of a time as that trip. Him choosing the busiest time in one of the most traveled destinations in the United States has a lot to do with that. It even has a lot to do with the delay.
I will never do a destination wedding again. I don't consider going home a destination, btw. I politely declined going to my cousin's wedding in Mexico
I feel like this is what the honeymoon is for
Good to be here ❤ I really enjoyed this quick clip. I am here making my own calculations for a family of 5. It's a lot of $$$. Thanks again.
Nope-I would never do this to my guests. This is obviously a couple, or a bride, that's more interested in the photos and the telling of the wedding story than the actual marriage.
Asking their guests to put out this kind of money and adding this much stress to everyone is ridiculous. Those that can't afford all of this just don't get to be at the wedding? That's not how it should be.
Of course everyone, usually the bride lol, wants a beautiful wedding with a great story and awesome photos but- I'm willing to bet they could have found an amazing place that didn't require their guests to spend thousands of dollars.
I could never but I hope you two had a great experience. it looked like you had fun and if you haven't traveled together before it would be great "rehearsal trip".
We are germans and didn't have a destination wedding. We still had more than a few guests that had to travel several hours, which meant they needed to stay overnight. We booked and paid for needed rooms.
This is the beautiful thing about destination weddings. You can invite as many as you want, but you know they won’t all come. So you don’t have to sweat over who to leave out of the invite so no one is offended about that. And you are totally not offended when they can’t afford to come. And when someone does decide to fork out the money to come, it makes it more special because you know they jumped through hoops to get there.
What great friends. I hope the bride and groom appreciate all the effort and expense everyone put in to help celebrate their love. Hope you all made amazing memories ❤️
Also factor in the fact that you had to take a week off of work x 2 people. And you flew coach. That’s difficult for me at 6’3”, 245. And then do they still expect a gift? I’m guessing do if they are the type that have a destination wedding in lake como. And I’m sure it’s not $20 slipped into a card
My son an his fiancée tried to have a destination wedding. I told him that was fine but I would not be there. I told him there were too many people in our families and it was not fair for them to ask people to pay to attend his wedding. There will always be some out of town guests but it’s different going to a wedding in the states than it is going to a wedding out of the country. So they changed their mind and had a beautiful wedding here. In this day & time it is very selfish to ask people to fork out thousands of $ to attend a wedding. If you, your family and friends have it like that then go ahead.
I agree- it’s selfish to think your day is so important to everyone else that they will fork over their vacation time and thousands to be there.
why is it customary for family to pay shouldnt the host cover accom and food even transport for family? can anyone explain why people have to pay for their own hotels and food and travel while going to someones wedding?
If you really want to have a destination wedding, take only your very closest family and friends and pay for them. Budget that into the wedding cost. Pay for a photographer and videographer and show everyone else the photos and videos when you return. Or, get married in the states, save your hard earned $, and go to the destination for your honeymoon.
I don’t think it’s selfish AS LONG AS you have no negative reactions to someone who chooses not to attend
I think it's selfish for the mother of the bride to impose her ideas on her son's wanting. It's their wedding they can do what they want. If you don't want to attend don't attend.
Insane to me that people expect their guests to pay for all of this just to watch them get married lmao
Insane to me that people complain on the internet about something that doesn’t even affect them
@@fluffytail6355 Isn't that what the internet is for??
Luckily we are not obligated to fulfill other peoples expectations. I would overthink my relationships. 😄
😂😂😂 look who is talking, you let a comment at every person who has something to say about this situation@@fluffytail6355
@@fluffytail6355you must have had a destination wedding 😂
This is how it works in the states, so what's the difference? I went to an out of state wedding. I had to pay for transportation & gas; & accomodations. The bridal party arranged for blocks of rooms at different properties as a discounted rates; and a gift. Other than a Welcome Reception on one night AND Wedding Reception on another night, still had to pay for other meals. SO, you had a vacation with friends.
Having attended about a dozen out of state weddings over the years, this is pretty much how it works. Don't know why everyone is so up in arms about it.
Destination wedding: -20,000pts
3 mandatory formal events: -5,000
Required boat travel: - 8,000
Not putting in for hotel: -10,000
The groom and bride are definitely going to the bad place!
That’s more like y’all planned a vacation and went to a wedding/party. Glad it was fun & beautiful. And I’m sure you’re grateful you could go!
Thank you! Definitely 😊
And this is how you can cut your guest list!! Lmaooo weaponize destination weddings😂
Absolutely. I have heard that a fair number of South Asian couples who get married in New Zealand do so to avoid the ruinously expensive celebrations they would be expected to lay on at home - serious debt.
But I’d be afraid a bunch of random people would come that you care less about instead of people closest to you.
@@andreas_adventureskey words, youre afraid, I, am not 🤣
Although we could afford it, we would never spend that much as a wedding guest. Never.
Nice Looking Couple! I hope you had FUN!!🎉
You come feel the love you both have for each other....❤❤❤❤ love to see it...
For destination weddings, why don't the hosts arrange for cheap or free accommodations on site. Like they can rent a whole floor or several floors. Yeah im sure i know people im close with but none of us would force the other to spend so much money.
Let’s be honest, destination weddings might be nice for the bride and groom but they are a financial burden on the guests (unless it’s all expenses paid by the bride/groom, which is rare). Why don’t the bride and groom have a small get together with the guests in their home location and the splurge on a destination just for themselves?
I don't know if I like anyone that much
If it turns out to be a nice vacation in a beautiful place with people you truly care about, it’s worth it. You approached it cost effectively and I’m sure the couple really appreciates you being there. Cheers!
I always assumed that if it was a destination wedding, its the responsibility of the groom and bride to borne some of the expenses such as special rates at an allocated hotel
My current dilemma. Friend is from Brazil, wedding is in Brazil 🤯 I didn’t go on holiday last year because I was saving to buy a house! But I caved in a I’m going. I’ll have to do some extra shifts to not eat in to my savings. Yes I know I’m the stupid one!😬
That's crazy! Hell no! If people want that, the family should be footing the whole bill! Since when do people have to pay for everything instead of the families? Terrible, and low class! Plus a nice gift is expected from the guests. Ridiculous!
It reminds me of those folks that want to have month long birthday celebrations. Okay good luck to you. I’ll go to the actual bday event and peace be onto you from there.
😂 @ peace be on to you 😂😂😂😂😂
This is why i will never understand why people choose destination weddings and why i would decline to attend one.
For me when i got married i felt so guilty because we got married in the state my husband and his family lived in and ALL ny family and friends had to travel the 1000kms interstate to attend, i told each of them that could come that their attendance was wedding gift enough.
Destination weddings are expensive! We went to a wedding in Santorini, Greece a nutritiously expensive island, and we went as a 5, my parents with me and my siblings.
But the benefits of a destination wedding is you can have a smaller wedding and have a few but specific amount of people at your wedding instead of just everyone your support to invite. It was nice, might do my future wedding as a destination wedding we’ll see.
I can't see myself having a destination wedding and not paying for my guest lodging etc. It's my wedding, I should accommodate and scale the wedding accordingly to my budget
To have a destination wedding is one thing, to have it in one of the most expensive spots on another continent is a whole new level of selfishness! I feel those who have destination weddings and actually expect people to attend at their own expense lack awareness and are frankly quite self-centered.
I hate destination weddings, either elope on your own, or have a wedding, not both. I spent $5000 on my whole wedding, im not paying that to attend someone elses
Also yes, please outfit more often!!! Love this❤
you guys are so cute!!💕
I’m German and my husband is Spanish. We married in Barcelona because most of his family members live there, so it was easier for everyone to come. We invited just the closest friends and family members from Germany and paid the night at the hotel when we married in Barcelona. I think that’s the fairest way to give everyone the chance to attend to the wedding.
Barcelona is a good international airport to fly into price wise, especially from the US.
What if you couldn't afford paying for your guests?
destination weddings are beautiful and im sure lots of fun, but also so inconvenient for guests. go on the honeymoon to a beautiful destination spot instead.
or just don't go to someone's destination wedding. both parties have a choice
Ill pay a tenner to watch the live stream of it if thats an option 😂
What a lovely couple U2 are!! I hope you had fun and thought of it as vacation❤ seems worth it to me😊
super interesting! more vids like this please!
Destination wedding attendees are for people who were planning to take a vacation anyway and just did it around the wedding invite . Or if you just have the time and money for it . I don’t know why people are so mad at the bride and groom when attending is always optional.
Yeah, I think it's okay as long as you won't be upset about anybody not wanting to/not being able to attend. And if you want a specific person there that badly, that you'd be upset if they didn't come, you should be able to/willing to cover their costs.
Yeah, that's the only way I'd attend. Sure, I like to travel, but if I've already shelled out enough on other travel for the year, or otherwise wouldn't be able to have my own vacation in conjunction with the wedding (for any reason), I wouldn't go.
Even as a Filipino we have a consideration that if we invited you to the wedding we atleast provide accommodations and carry the expenses of your stay … that’s why I always check before going to a wedding
Haha why do you say ‘even as a Filipino’?
Don’t get me wrong I would say the same, I’m Dutch so no one would spend this much money to go to someone’s wedding 😂 probably not even on their own wedding. I don’t know anyone who has had a destination wedding 😅
If that was my wedding with so much experiences, I would consider it as a gift.
You‘d be expecting some pricy gifts than.
Cannot make mandatory 2k gift wtf
Someone in my extended family did a destination wedding to Italy. They reduced the guest list from 200 to only 20. I didn’t make the second cut, but I saw the photos. Absolutely amazing! The catch is, I know for sure they paid for the flight tickets and hotel accommodations of all their 20 guests. Other than clothes, got to enjoy the 3-day wedding in Italy cost free.
Wow!!! I hope you had a wonderful trip. 295 for a two-star hotel is outrageous, but you both looked gorgeous.
Goodness me 😅 I’ve always wanted to be invited to a wedding but I think attending a destination wedding would be financially devastating 😯 and you can’t even do all the holiday things you might usually that justify the investment because you are occupied with the wedding 😅😅
Some people can’t even afford to take vacations and then you got people with these destination weddings and then they act like you don’t care about them if you don’t spend 10k on flights and hotels and buying them an expensive gift on top of it. If you are gonna have a wedding in Italy you’re paying for my plane ticket or I ain’t coming period point blank
I had a „destination party“ for my 25th birthday a few weeks ago and it was only natural to me to pay for accommodation of my guests, I only invited my best friends so we were like 5 people but if I’m gonna celebrate my birthday in Sicily it’s my decision and I can’t expect you to pay for that 😂
To be fair, this is where they filmed the wedding at the end of Star Wars episode 2
I am so GLAD people agree with me!
So its a good idea to look at destination weddings as a mini vaca and the wedding would be like a party that was included?
Hoping you guys had a blast 😊
Thank you so much! 😊
I think I'd would have a destination elopement, basically a wedding honeymoon 2 in 1. I don't have a lot people close to me so I think saving a little more money so I could pay for my mom and sister to come to the wedding.
This is my dream.
That’s what we’re doing!! We’re thinking Zion or Joshua Tree and it’ll be small enough and exonomkcal enough (1 location for ceremony, reception, lodging, and honeymoon, we’re renting out an airbnb compound and housing everyone and doing everything in that one spot then they leave and we stay and honeymoon) that we can gift the travel and stay to our few close family and friends we want there. It’s going to be perfect!! Can’t imagine forcing people to pay or not come! 😮
Looks gorgeous.
Hope it was amazing!!!
My parents' friend also had a wedding in Italy (they live in Switzerland and most of their families is around there as well), so the cost were a bit smaller, but still, they paid for all the trnsportations on the wedding days, the private tours to visit the city and the hotel rooms of their guests. And I think, everyone who decides to have their wesding in another country, should do the same!
OK, so if you're a guest who cannot afford the travel expenses for your family, you should have everything paid by the newlyweds.
But if you're the newlyweds (with a low or normal income) and have already to pay lots of money for your wedding and starting a life together, you have to pay ALSO for travel and accommodation for at least 20-40 guests?
This doesn't make sense to me.
@@paole9729 I mean, if you can't afford it, just celebrate it with very close people (5-10 peeps) and do the big party somewhere near everyone. I don't understand why the guests have to pay just because the newlyweds decided to go somewhere expensive
@alyn.s Because it's important to tell people that you would like them to be there. People might also get offended if they haven't been invited and feel a 'category B' person in your life. Of course they can choose if they want to attend or not.
I attended a few weddings abroad and paid my part, even when the hotel was paid for. Being a financial burden for the newlyweds seems rude to me.
@@paole9729 if they get envious, then they aren't the right people to be in your life. I totally understand if the newlyweds want to have only close ones like parents, siblings and best friends to their abroad wedding. That does not mean it won't be celebrated at all at a restaurant or so with the others.
If the newlyweds don't have enough money to pay a trip for their guests at their wedding, I believe they shouldn't have it abroad. Mostly because the guests can't even really visit or do what they wish to in the country they had to pay to reach, but have to follow a plan made by the groom and bride and may not want to have to spend Idk how much on a boat like here just to attend one event.
If they can't afford it for everyone, they shouldn't plan to have it abroad, nothing can really change my mind there.
(Also, if the guest decided they want to pay for their stay themselves, that is something else)
@alyn.s Hi Alyn, thanks for your response. I understand your point of view and think it makes sense in a normal situation where the newlyweds come from the same area and where both families and groups of friends live.
In my previous comments I should have added this element that was already in my thoughts: if you're an expat (e.g. a woman who met her husband in the country where they currently reside) you still would like all your families and groups of friends at your wedding.
So what would you do in this case, Alyn? Two weddings in two different countries? Or even in 3-4 countries if you've got family/ friends in various parts of the world? 🤔
I would hate my friend of familymember for putting me through this!
There are lots of accommodation in the area at a 30 min drive. It’s not like you have to book a lake view room. Btw destination wedding are something that should be avoided.
We wanted to stay in the area that was closest to all three wedding events (and we didn’t have a car with us) - there are definitely other options, though 😊
Honestly for the location and type of hotel $300/night isn’t terrible. It’s not cheap persay but you could be in less exotic locations and pay a lot more!
it’s definitely not terrible it’s just not cheap but it’s not expensive either. there are way pricier hotel s than this
💯😁 our family had our first destination wedding experience last fall for my brother's wedding. So, we went to Mexico City, MX and it was amazing but costly. We are blessed we had the best time with our family❤ 👍🎉
Sweet baby Jesus! I truly hope it was worth it for both of you and you had a fantastic time. I don't love anyone that much that it would cost me my first born child to attend their destination wedding. If someone really wanted me to attend they would be footing the bill for that much travel, airfare and accomidations. You two are really loyal friend's or family to the couple getting married. I commend you on that. Here's hoping it was a trip you'll never forget and you made a lot of memories. Cheers!🍾
You both looked great! How long were you in Italy for the wedding/did you turn the trip into a vacation since you already paid for flights?
Thank you so much! We didn't stay too much longer as we'd already done some travelling earlier this year, but we added an extra day before and after the wedding event days! We also had a lot of time to explore the area each morning - it was a beautiful location 😊
They want to save money having a wedding ceremony overseas by others paying for it. I would be ashamed to even offer it.
How do they know if others can even afford it?
My brother and his wife booked for a destination wedding invite.
One week before Wedding the Groom cancelled.
$5,000 each.
damn ...sorry to hear that ..
Maybe they should still go an have a vacation????
It’s crazy how much people expect guests to pay to attend their wedding! Of course, you have the option to not go, but again, that puts people in an awkward and potentially embarrassing situation. For my daughter’s recent wedding we rented a beautiful Manor House for 3 days and nights. Most of the attendees lived within a half hour drive of the venue and the remainder were accommodated in the bedrooms in the house. All food and drink provided by us. No gifts were requested, although many people did bring something. No dress code, so as long as you felt appropriate and comfortable no need to buy fancy outfits. It was a great wedding and nobody had to go broke ( except us 🤣🤣🤣, but our decision to make 😊).
Destination weddings are the best way to tell family and friends this will be an intimate union