grieving my own health
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- čas přidán 2. 03. 2024
- i was never going to upload this video but i feel so alone. if even person who sees this can relate, who is feeling the same as me, and this video makes them realise they're not alone, then it's worth it. i recognise this video is just 8 minutes of me crying lol, but this shit is hard. being chronically ill is so personally taxing, both on your body and on your mind, your social life, your family life, everything changes. i'll make a video soon talking about my health properly once i get my head together and am in a better place mentally. i know my thoughts and feelings in this video are not articulated properly, they're just raw and real. my thoughts and feeling spat out and on display. i'm being vulnerable and that's scary. who knows this video might be taken down by tomorrow but for now i'm just gonna be real.
I've never wanted to hug someone so badly. I am so sorry Alicia 😭
Do u want to be boyfriend and girlfriend y or n Alicia
@@user-zs8mf6sw8hweirdo
This is not an overreaction. This is raw, vulnerable, and real -god, it makes you such a beautiful person. I know the feeling of wanting to be medically believed. That’s a very real and common feeling, unfortunately. Just know that it gives you the opportunity to dive further into the world of possibilities on your end and you end up learning so much about self healing. You were born at a time where technology is growing exponentially. It will be okay 🤍 I’m so glad you made this because it’s something for you to look back at. It’s just part of your journey. Also, I know it feels everyone around you is hitting milestones, but just know, everyone hits a wall somewhere in life. Just at different times. Yours happening at a younger age contributed to the beautiful journey you’re on now. You’re strong, Alicia.
Love, A stranger who sees you, hears you, and acknowledges all your value.
I was diagnosed with epilepsy in 2021 at 21 out of nowhere, and it really does freaking suck. I’ve missed things, and there has been so much fear about having seizures in public as well as the guilt about others experiencing the seizures - but it really does get better. In November I hit 1 year seizure free, so I could drive again! (It’s a full year in my country) I have also started drinking again, as it doesn’t affect my seizures. I hope it gives some hope for you, in case it does turn out to be epilepsy. While it does get better, give yourself grace because it is really shitty to suddenly have your life change (and again for you, I can’t even imagine). I grieved my health as well. But it does get better, and you can have normal life ❤️ Sending lots of love and hugs from Denmark
Also, if you need advice I would love to help as much as I can. There are tips to make, for example, going out easier. 💕
I was also diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of 5... know I'm 12 and I still have the disorder I went to Gauhati appolo hospital
Hey! Jesus loves you and is with you! He cares for you and wants to help you through your pain! He died on a cross for our sins and rose again three days later. If you believe in Him, He will save you from hell and make you His child. He is the only way! Have a blessed day! 😊🌸
this was so sad to watch alicia😭 i have been watching you for a year now and i love ur videos. im 15 and was diagnosed with diabetes at 9, it was the most life changing experience ive ever been through and it completely how i viewed life, my friends, how my family felt, my everyday life and so much more. i COMPLETELY understand how you feel when you say that you wish u were normal. i have felt so incredibly insecure about my diabetes and always having this thing on my arm and a pump and i was a burden on my family and friends. im so glad i have someone who i can watch who is going through a similar thing. i get diabetes burnout so much and often its hard to take care of myself. UR NOT ALONE❤❤❤❤ i hope u see this comment
Gurl you are describing me 😭🫶🏻
I am so glad im not the only one who feels like this and has so much Diabetes burnout
I was diagnosed at 10 and I'm 29 soon! You're so much stronger than you think! Burnout is real, we deal with a lot. I love our little support community. Take care kid.
❤🙏🏻❤️
take care of yourself 🤎 you’re such a gorgeous soul, you’ll get through this and come out so much stronger and happier :)
I’ve never commented on any video before
I’m a bit younger than you. this made me cry the entire video. I was diagnosed around 5 years ago with a chronic illness that has caused both disabilities and pain, im so sorry you’re going through this. I currently have no friends and CZcams is my comfort place. I come here for people like you who feel like my friends. I found you 3 or 4 months ago probably, but your cozy vibe is so comforting. I’ve been binging your concert vlogs lately and honestly I’m always to happy for you that you get to go to them! I recently got Melanie Martinez tickets for the trilogy tour in June, and it’s probably people like you who made me want to go! please try to look at the brighter things more then the darker things, I promise life is worth living and I wish you good things to come. 💕
You're the sweetest Willow💗 I hope life turns out good for you and your kindness will definetly get you a friend very soon💓💓
I'm crying with you right now .
You are such a good person at least on the internet you are so inspiring and maybe I can't really relate to it but this video just shows that people you think have a perfect live have really got their own problems. I think posting this helps many people including me so stay strong ok you'll be OK and even if you don't pleas don't give up ❤
I had the same thoughts!
hey it's so heartbreaking to see you like this :(( 💗 we love you so so much. We might not be able to help you as much as we want but just know that you are so so strong for this.
hey alicia i am also turning 18 in three weeks (on the 25th) and in the past year have been diagnosed with chronic illnesses. i completely sympathise with and understand the grief that comes along with that - watching your friends move on with their lives and feeling left behind. and it sucks, i won't pretend it doesn't. bc of a medication i have to be on i also can't drink and (at least for now) i'm not allowed to drive so yeah its difficult to have that sense of adulthood and freedom. i want to believe that its gonna get easier, but i'm also struggling with it all rn. so i guess i just wanted you to know you're not alone in these feelings!! but we'll be alright ❤️ much love
oh my gosh my bday is on the 24th! i’m so sorry to hear your also dealing with the physical, emotional, mental and social toll that comes with being chronically ill. hopefully the future gets a whole lot better for the both of us real soon ❤️❤️
@@aliciajade happy early bday girly. keep fighting ❤❤ u too tasmin :)
okay what- I turn 18 march 21 and also am chronically ill!! much love to you both
I'm turning 18 on march 25th too, and i was diagnosed with T1D for about a year now
@@aliciajade🔘2 Peter 3🔘
The Day of the Lord
Dear friends, this is now my second letter to you. I have written both of them as reminders to stimulate you to wholesome thinking. 2 I want you to recall the words spoken in the past by the holy prophets and the command given by our Lord and Savior through your apostles.
3 Above all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. 4 They will say, “Where is this ‘coming’ he promised? Ever since our ancestors died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation.” 5 But they deliberately forget that long ago by God’s word the heavens came into being and the earth was formed out of water and by water. 6 By these waters also the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. 7 By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of the ungodly.
8 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. 9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare.[a]
11 Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives 12 as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming.[b] That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. 13 But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.
14 So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. 15 Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. 16 He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.
17 Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. 18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.
alicia, i feel your pain when you said “why me?” i don’t have a chronic illness but i have really bad anxiety that affects my everyday life to this point where it’s hard to just get through a day. i’m constantly drained and exhausted from dealing with it all the time. i have, in the past just started searching for a different diagnosis and even got misdiagnosed with another illness only because it felt like i was actually sick and i wanted it to stop. but i just want to say you are so strong and i absolutely adore your channel, seeing you cry makes my heart break. i love you ❤ sending you love and hugs.
I rarely comment but I just want to say thank you for being vulnerable and as you said everything is going to be fine and I know that right now it's terrible and awful but you'll be fine, we all believe you and you're loved so so much. You are so much stronger than you could even imagine and love you immensely Alicia!!
god, trust me, it's not an over-reaction, i cried right along with you. my heart is breaking for you, i know what it feels like to watch your life fall apart right in front of you after it took you years to build it up. i just hope you know like you said, it'll get better, i will pray that you never ever get a seizure again and that in six months you can drive. i will pray for strength for you to get through this. i love you so much, we all love you so very much and it SUCKS that you have to go through this. if i could, trust me, i would share your pain to lessen the burden on you.
Im so sorry Alicia...we love you and we'll always be there for you ❤❤ youre beautiful and kind and just perfect....we love you ❤❤please dont cryy you're an angel💗💕
hey hey hey, i know I'm just a stranger on the internet and i also don't have a chronic illness, so i might not be able to understand completely your situation, but i wanted to jump in and try to bring a little bit of comfort. i believe (and hope) people have told you this before, but please remember that ALL of your feelings and concerns are valid. you have every right to miss the person you were before and be worried about what's going to happen. i understand that it sucks to be "left behind" by all of your friends who are already older and experiencing life while you feel you're stuck behind, i'm also turning 18 this year and all of my friends already have their license and are graduating this june (while i'm starting my last year in september).
we all know you're a strong person, you might be struggling from time to time but it's normal, we all have our ups and downs. i can't imagine how it feels to live with t1d, and i really wish i could understand better, but from what we can all see you're handling it like a pro, you're still here and thriving and even if it doesn't feel like it right now, you're going to be fine. you've probably heard these words a million of times before, and you might sometimes not believe them, but everything is going to be fine. you have the support of your family, your friends and also your little virtual community who loves and appreciates you so so so so much.
please remember that we are here for you, lots of love
This is the absolute loveliest comment I have ever read 🤍
@@Henri-cinnamon thank you! i appreciate the effort in reading it all haha
you have such a kind soul! i agree with everything you said
@@aswyvee hehe yeah I always feel as if people never read any of my long comments, yours was truly worth reading!
That a true phrase about the fact that you literally miss that time before the illness.
I'm 21 now, and I was diagnosed with diabetes at 18. And I still miss the time when I could drink a whole bottle of Coke and not worry.
I'm sending you the strongest hugs, honey, you will definitely cope with everything, you are very strong❤❤
i’ve had diabetes for nearly 3 years and have been struggling with my mental health a lot because of it and seeing this has made me feel so validated and like i’m not alone, so thank you for sharing this and im so sorry that you have to put up with all of this stuff ❤❤❤
lo siento muchísimo Alicia, no puedo ni imaginar el dolor y enojo por el que estas pasando, sos demasiado fuerte, no es una exageración, en tu situación se que muchos no podríamos soportar ni la mitad de las cosa que vos si, me parece perfecto que llores y te desahogues porque no creo que sea algo menor por lo que estas pasando, espero que pronto puedas superarlo, volver a tu rutina e intentar ser lo más feliz que puedas, debe ser muy difícil afrontar este tipo de situaciones pero por favor segui luchando, no te rindas.
te mando un beso y un fuerte abrazo desde Argentina 🇦🇷, te deseo todo lo bueno del mundo reina, espero que pronto puedas ver esto como un tropiezo y no como una caída, cuídate mucho y recorda que siempre vamos a estar acá para lo que necesites
❤❤❤
I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease last year. (a chronic autoimmune disease) I had to push back my college graduation and move home. It uprooted my life. I understand you so well. Currently in my 2nd flare, missed my best friends 23rd birthday and now I’m worried I’ll miss my birthday next month as well. I missed out on so much last year and I find myself getting jealous of my friends and my sister because they are healthy. You’re not alone. Keep fighting🤜🏼 you’ve got this💕
Eat carnivore diet. Healing miracle for people with Crohn and other digestive problems.
U are the best youtuder ever and u are so strong for telling that we ❤❤
I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at 14. Im 15 now and i hate it so much, im so jealous of other people my age who are able to do things i cannot.
One if the things i hate the most judgement. I hate how kids stare in horror when i do my bloods, my classmates making fun of me and people assuming things about me. Ive been crying so much lately because i overheard my classmates say i have 'special privilege' because i have to eat food in class and leave when i need to do insulin. It hurts so much to live in a world where people dont understand and don't even try to. Even my friends dont fully understand. I dont really know anyone else with diabetes in my life either so it feels increadibly lonely.
The strain it puts of my mental and physical health feels like a massive burden. I feel ill all the time. It just hurts so much all time to see others enjoying their teens whilst i have to sit at the side sipping a carton of apple juice. My mum says i should be thankful im alive at least, but the burden, the prejudice, often it feels like too much to bear. This video already has a ton of comments, so i doubt youll read mine but i want to say a massive thank you for your videos, it feels horrible to have this condition, and i feel so sad for others who have to deal with it too, but having know others feel the same as you is comforting in a way. I hope medicine improves and one day it can be reversed. I can run a race and eat a giant slice cake on its own then go on a rollercoaster and a party and drink a can of cider without going into a deep hypo afterwards. ❤
I feel the same. Used a disabled bathroom to do insulin and some lady told me off and said it was for disabled people and I tried to explain but she wouldn't listen 😭😭😭
@1nfl0r3sc3nc3 that sounds horrible sorry that happened :(
I can't stand how ignorant people are about it, kinda just makes it feel more lonely :(
don't listen to what those kids say or let it get to you, okay? it's just not worth it. you can't help how your body is, and theres no use letting your rude classmates control your feelings even more than your diabetes already does. you're just living life with extra steps! i'm so sorry you have to deal with all that, and reading all these comments of other people who experience similar things make me deeply saddened but truely grateful that i don't have to deal with the same issues. i wish you nothing but the best, stay strong forever!
oh hon i’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through all of that. i promise that it does get easier as someone whose had it for 9 years. it fricking sucks all the time and is so tiring. please know that there are good people out there too who will love and support you. they may not be in your class, but i promise that there are those who do care and won’t judge you 💖
I promise that I would always try to understand even if I didn't ❤
Hi Alicia, i have a similar story. When i was 14 i was diagnosed with a chronic illness and i sympathise with you i understand so much. I’ve had to learn how to live with it, i haven’t been able to get my licence along with my friends. I know how much it sucks. I turn 18 this year. I hope you can find some sort of peace that there are others struggling and grieving too. It’s not at all your fault it’s just stupid life. We will all get through it. Sending you all the love and joy ❤
we all love you alicia we are always here for you, for all your good, your bad and ugly. You've got this we love you💞
i can feel what you're feeling honestly through the screen so strongly. I got diagnosed a few years ago and its just been getting worse, especially with the burnout. I've been ready to give up so many times. Its my 21st birthday in two days(march 12th) and usually people go out to drink and have fun, but i cant drink, which it took me a while to just accept what i cant do, honeslty some days it does feel like im doomed and what did i do to deserve this, but other days i feel ok with it. Not even to go into how we physically feel sometimes which can be the worst and a hindrance in life. Were all on this together through the good and the bad. sending so so so much love and support
Ive only just found your channel and I want to say everything youve said is so relatable... you're not alone. I'm disabled too and I've been through those feelings so often. My mantra is often "Life is shit!"
Yeah, dont tell me it'll get better. I know that. Let yourself feel all the feels. Greive. Your feelings are so real. You seem so strong and wonderful despite everything you've said. 💞
Oh my gosh!!! I have never ever wanted to hug someone so badly. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I don't have a chronic illness fortunately, but I have had severe depression and anxiety for about three years now and I totally understand how it feels to go through this, let me tell you this you didn't do anything to deserve this. You are such a nice person and I love watching your videos. You are like my inspiration to go through with life and honestly, I have grown to love you like a big sister I never had. I love you so much ❤❤. I have faith in God and he will help you go through this and make your life lovely!!
I’m very sorry that you feel this way, I completely understand you. I was diagnosed with T1D when I was 2 years old so I don’t remember what it was like to switch over, so I can’t imagine what you felt like during high school. It gets hard to face the fact that I’ll never be exactly like my friends and do what they can do without having to take extra care of yourself.
Stay safe❤
alicia it was so brave of you to post this and i completely understand what you are going through i went through something very similar last year where lots of people were making fun of me last year and i was struggling with body issues and not being able to eat stuff because of this horrible disease and i wanted to be normal and i wanted to
say that i haven’t been through seizures so i feel so te terribly sorry for you ❤ and i want to say that this is not an overreaction and you don’t have to act like your fine you can talk to family members because trust me they will understand and if they don’t then talk to someone else and i just want you to know that you are amazing and we all love you and you are going to be okay ❤❤❤❤❤❤ ily
I’m so sorry dear heart, things WILL get better! In life sometimes it seems so hard and unfair, and it kind of us. But we are to learn from our difficult times and hopefully use our pain, experiences to help others! So many young adults with diabetes, seizures, cancer etc! My granddaughter just got through treatment of lymphoma, at 16. It’s taken allot out of her, it was months of being sick, losing all hair, almost dying 3 times due to infection. But praise God she is doing good after all that trauma. You might be the example of strength and endurance some children younger than you, that are going through the same challenges as you might need to hear
Praying you find peace and comfort in this temporary trial 💕🙏🏻
This hit close. You're NOT ALONE.
I'm diagnosed last April when I was 27. I'm so sorry for what you're dealing with and totally amazed at your resilience and endurance at dealing with it in your teens. There's a lot to diabetes that doesn't get covered and noone without it will ever understand. I'm so sorry you're going though this hard time. Some months are good and some are awful. You are doing amazing for the circumstances. In life there is always going to be things that get in the way of what you want to do , whether it's money, health , family, etc, we all have our limitations but all you can do is push through. It's okay to grieve what we lose to this illness but we can live in the loss or we can make the most of it. Take time to be angry and then make sure to focus on what you can do xxx
Stay strong for forever ❤❤❤❤
Alica please don't cry😢❤
I’ve never related to something more. I may not have diabetes or seizures but I have my own struggles and I constantly grieve the “normal life” I envisioned and I see my fiends going though. You’re not alone ❤
I’m so sorry Alicia! I absolutely understand what you’re going through. I’ve never shared any of this on the internet, but I was diagnosed with a Chronic Illness at 13 years old. This is completely relatable and I’m so sorry you have to go through this! You can do this 💗
you bring me so much joy and it's awful to see you being this sad... you're such a beautiful person and don't deserve this at all. I truly hope that you'll be able to gain that freedom. Sending lots of love
I send you lots virtual hugs. Cry all you need and always remember there is a big community supporting you here, that love and appreciate you ❤. At the end everything will be ok, and if it not, it's not the end yet. I'm 18 since February and i'm so lost and scared, there are happening a lot of changes and responsabilities are growing, but there is nothing more than accept it and... Keep living throut it. We love u ❤❤❤
This so heartbreaking Like watching you is like watching one of my best friends making videos, and I really really love and appreciate you and ur content and i hope ur healing and i hope u get better to the state where u can do whatever u wish to . Btw i just want to say that i love you sm and please take good care of yourself and just remember that i appreciate and love you and u always would have our support! 💌
Its perfectly okay, especially on bad days to be frustrated with your health and well being, especially if it controls your like SO fr*cken much 🥺 when it all comes flooding back to you, & you need to break down like this, and vent its okay, you are human. And this truly is perfectly understandable in hearing what you are saying, to have these wants and wishes, but then to have health problems controlling your life constantly. Its got to be hard. But you are still so strong 🙏
I seriously cannot convey how thankful I am that you posted this. As someone with a chronic illness I feel your sorrow and anger so much, sending you so much happiness and hope
Im sorry for what you're going through! We love you and care about you❤❤ everything will get better
I feel so awful for you girl you are actually so strong and I’m praying it will get better for you ❤❤
Awww Alicia ❤️ it is just so sad that seeing you cry like this :( i wish i could hug you and tell you that everything is gonna be okay. As you said in the last minutes of the video, you're gonna be alright i really do believe that and i love you so much.
today is actually my three-year diaversary and this was needed today. grieving what you were before and your health is the hardest part. being chronically ill is one of the hardest things someone can do. thank you for this alicia
Thank you so much for sharing such a personal and hard information with us, that’s really hard, and I’m really proud of you for that. It was so heartbreaking but so inspiring in a way to watch, I’m so so sorry you feel so so broken, but you aren’t, you aren’t Alicia, you are a human being that just has to have some adjustments in life and that’s okay! It’s okay! I’m so sorry, but we are here to love and support you, and I’m sure your friends love and support you as well. You don’t have to pretend to be fine, it’s okay to express your feelings to others, they are so valid. I love you so much, and I’m so proud of you
I’m so sorry Alicia it will get better, things happen that you can’t control but it will get better. I’ve felt different my entire life because of mental and physical health issues and I completely understand what you’re feeling as another teen girl. I’m so so sorry, sending love 💗
You don't need to get overr it, you need to get through it. It sucks and it hurts and it's bloody rage-inducing, but you can (and will) come out the other side. I feel for the things you are grieving but I promise that none of them will matter in the long run. Unless you really wanted a story of how you got blathered on your 18th and then puked in your lap at an all-night diner, that is. Stay strong!
I never related to the “why me” more I’ve broke both my ankles multiple times and had other injuries and the “why me” is so true and real and please take the time to appreciate yourself and feel your feelings and I really hope that you’ll feel happier soon ❤❤
I’m glad this video will now bring awareness to these types of things especially since I’ve been in such a state like this (not the same thing but for not being able to get diagnosed with ADD and or autism until late teens and not being believed and being told that it’s all in my head, really sucked until someone believed me and now I’m finally diagnosed with ADD and just waiting for the results for autism ❤)but just know we’re here for you and your feelings are so valid and we hear you and see you and we love you 🫶
I was diagnosed with something similar so I can sort of understand the pain of what your going through and I’m not great at consoling people but you just need to know that ther are people who are gonna be there for you and that future you has it covered, if there was anyway I could hug you I would girl I love you so much and you’ve got this I know you do and I believe In you
I'm so sorry to see you like this, Alicia 😢 it breaks my heart to see such a good, nice, pure and beautiful person suffer like this. I'm sending you strength and a huge comforting hug. It plainly sucks. You have people supporting you here from all around the world ❤
I love your videos so much and it hurts me to see you have to go through such a tough time like this. My brother recently had a awful seizure and it was hard to see him fade away after he woke after being asleep for 24 hours and he didn’t seem like him self. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you and I hope it only up from here.
Im so so so proud of you Alicia I love you so much and I almost cried while watching this. Ilysm and I hope and I now that you are gonna be fine. You’re so strong ily
Heyy Alicia i understand your rage and sadness but girl pls stay positive 💗 good things need time to happen okay?? During these six months just take care of yourself and be here for yourself. take it as a new beginning. Im praying for you. Things are gonna get better have faith💗 we all love you a lot you are an amazing person💗💗
Oh, I'm so sorry you're going through this, Alicia. This video is raw and relatable, and it's going to resonate with so many people. It's going to make so many people feel less alone. Thank you for being brave enough to share your unfiltered story with the world. You also show so much maturity and self-awareness in this video - it's seriously impressive, especially for someone your age. I hope these comments give you some comfort and remind you that you're not alone in struggling with your health. Discovering conditions as you get older is actually super common - I'm in my late twenties, and most of my friends have either discovered that they have some sort of permanent health challenge or have been through challenging periods (sometimes years) health-wise. It's very normal, and it doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. I've also seen many people go through periods of health hardship and then come out the other side better than before - better than they ever could have imagined. Or uncover conditions that raged for a few months and then became easily manageable/went into remission. I hope all of that for you or even better. Sending you tons of positive vibes and wishing you lots of comfort, safety, and the absolute most vibrant health ✨
I've been watching you for so long now, and it makes me so sad to see you like this. Trust me, you WILL be ok, everything will work out!! You are a strong person and thats why I loved watching you! I hope you see that you will get better!!
Alicia, you ARE normal! I can't really feel what you're dealing with, but I understand how hard it must be to see everyone doing things you want to do, but you can't. It really sucks and I hope you get through it because I know you can. You're strong. We believe in you! ❤
I relate to you so much, thank you for posting this. You don’t know how much it helps ❤
I am so so sorry that youve had to go through so much,and youve felt that you've had to go through all of this alone,with no one to believe you.just remember that no matter what we are here for you,to trust you even when no one will.You are not overreacting in any way, instead you are handling with this shit the way any adult would.Its okay not to be okay sometimes.We are all here for you forever! Love you alicia!
I feel like that's sometimes the worst feeling - knowing that in the long run it'll be fine but now in the present not allowing yourself to grieve or feel bad
I'm so sorry alicia, sending you massive hugs ❤❤
You are such an amazing person and have inspired me and I love watching your videos. I could never imagine what it's like to be in your position but I understand what it's like to want freedom. Don't you ever give up! ❤❤❤
Girl, you're so strong! There's a lot of things that we don't understand but you're so special, look at so many good things you've already done! So many people telling that feel happy watching your videos, people that are blessed to have you!! I was in that place asking "why me?" but the one who helped me was God. I still have problems, there are still things that I can't do but with Him everything's better. He loves you, and we love you. You are amazing! We can walk, we can breath, we can speak, see, etc; sometimes everything's so hard that we can't see the other things we already have. I know you gonna be better soon, you've got this. Don't give up. Through your story many people will feel better. May God be with you❤
Thank you so much for making this video. I've been going through some similar stuff at the moment and it feels nice to know I'm not alone.
I so sorry this happened, I have felt some of these things before, so your not alone, like you said everything will get better eventually, but i wanted to say your not overreacting at all, and I so glad you could talk to us about this. Get better soon! You know you can always talk to us! ❤❤
Hi! I randomly came upon your video. I am about 10 years older than you are now, so I feel a tad bit like a boomer making this comment here, but for what it's worth: I also have a chronic illness that was diagnosed in my late 20s. It's been a very rough journey. Everything you said is valid and describes what you, me, and many others who are chronically ill go through. There is a silver lining in all of this: you will find it. I found mine. Hang in there, you are so much more than your diagnosis and people will remember you for your courage and strength through it all. Sending a warm hug. Be gentle with yourself and never, ever give up fighting--you are worth the fight.
Alicia, this is amazing, you are so brave and I cannot express how much you are strong, you have given me so much motivation in the past, you got this love❤
Hi Alicia, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I can't imagine the mental and physical pain you are facing. I really hope you get better super soon and you get to do all the things you want to. We all are rooting for you and we know you will come out of this stronger than ever. We all love and and are praying for your speedy recovery. Sending all the love, hugs and strength to you🤍🌟
You’re not alone, know this. When I was 37 I started getting really sick and didn’t know why. It took almost 9 years for them to diagnose me and I went through so much in that nine years so much pain. It turns out I have a yeast allergy of all things in the world. And also a connective tissue disorder. I literally was crying yesterday because I wish that I was normal too. My body doesn’t do what everybody else’s does and I haven’t seen reactions to normal things like food. My diet is limited. It’s very difficult and I know what exactly what you’re going through but you’ll get through this. And if you ever feel like giving up, please reach out to me.
I am really sorry that you are having all these health issues at such a young age! I totally understand because I have been dealing with my own chronic health conditions since I was in my 20s and am now 51. I couldn't live a normal life and still can't and because of it sometimes I get angry and wonder why me! What have I done to deserve this! But life goes on and you just have to be as positive as you can to be able to get through life, I mean what else can you do? I pray that you will overcome all your health challenges and lead a relatively normal and happy life despite your illnesses. I am sending you lots of love, strength and prayers! Please stay strong and positive.❤
Alicia it hurts to know ur hurting, ur such a beautiful soul, and I cannot personally understand what you are going through, I am struggling in life but I’m a different way, but I wanna give u advice that maybe u won’t wanna hear but is true to me, life has a plan, and everything is gonna be ok. Ily and you got this❤
I was diagnosed with type 1 at the age of 12, now I am 19. In the beginning it was something that stepped in my way that made things a lot harder, but now it's like peace of cake I mean...sometimes I struggle with it but in the majority of the time I have good glucose levels because of all the experience I've been gadering through all these years.
I hope you can overcome this and have a happy life ❤❤❤
i was hesitant to comment but i understand so so much.
This makes me feel like im not alone. The things you said like “i want to be normal” “why me” “i just want to sleep all day” i’ve said those exact things about my chronic illness which is crazy and also heartwarming that someone feels the same and im not alone. I’ve been in a good spot for awhile with my chronic illness but recently it’s been having side effects and things that bring back memories of when i got diagnosed. i have cyclic vomiting syndrome. I always feel alone because no one else knows or has this illness but it’s impacted and changed my whole life. i take 10 pills a day and it’s crazy that this ever happened to me. If someone is reading this out there I would love if you took time to research about it. I want to make it more known and aware to others. Anyways just know your not alone with anything your going through :)
I am so sorry for you . I hope you will get better soon. I don’t have diabetes but I have other illness that I also have been bullied for and I feel like you feel . I hope you can go through this and I hope it all will go to end in the good .That you were always a person who has inspired me after every video I watched much love🤍
I totally understand you,I’ve been diagnosed with chronic depression and anxiety and it sucks,you’re not alone
I have single sided hearing loss and I understand because I have always wanted to be normal and I didn’t want people to treat me differently because I am I understand what you’re going through I hope you feel better soon
I’m so glad you posted this. Last year I was diagnosed with coeliac disease and ever since then a variety of ongoing health issues that can feel never-ending at times. I hope we both get through this xx
i can't even explain how sorry i am Alicia and i know it doesn't really help much to hear that i support you because I'm a total stranger but you're not a stranger to me - in 2020 i was diagnosed with an acid reflux and other health complications and even tho it's not an illness as serious and dangerous as anything like diabetes or epilepsy your story and what you shared on this chanel has helped me get trough the hardest moments when i was griefing the live I've never got to life. Watching you suffer breaks my heart - i hope soon you'll feel a bit more hopeful and in control even though i know it sucks now, sending all the love and support, and loads of virtual hugs ❤
This isn’t an overreaction. I wish I could give you a hug. I’m glad you are letting yourself grieve the fact that life just sucks. Thanks for being vulnerable and helping others going through something similar remember that they are not alone, and that it’s okay to grieve.
ive had type one diabeates for 3 years now, my diaversary coming up in the next couple weeks. I have never felt so realtable through a video. Type one diabeates is hard. its not fair at all, the amount of times ive felt like i was never going to be normal again and live a normal life. to be completely honesty though...when I found your page, I no longer felt alone. You helped give me the strength to keep going and the strength to stay positive while dealing with a cronic illness. the amount of happiness and understanding youve brought into my life is truly sureal.
But everyone has setbacks, everyone has days where things just arent working out for them..and thats okay!!! us diabeatics just get stronger and stronger by the day! we are all here together!!!
so much hugs to you Alicia, thank you so much for all you do
It’s not the same but I was diagnosed with adhd and autism in the past couple of years, and I know how you feel on just wanting to be normal teenager. people always say how great it must be because I get special provisions and like miss assignments and stuff but it sucks. I want to be able to go out with my friends and be a teenager but Ik as soon as I do I will panic and breakdown and then I can’t leave the house for days. My formals coming up and I’m so excited, yet I’m so nervous that I will break down infront of everyone. but it’s okay, we will get through this. you’ve got this Alicia, I promise. There are so many people who are here for you!
I wanna hug you so badly, I was diagnosed at 5 and have had it for 9 years and I understand about the seizures, I have seizures due to bad hypos and I feel you but I'm still young I feel really bad because you're almost 18 and you deserve that life that you want, you deserve that freedom and fun with friends and family and type 1 diabetes feels like running yourself up against a brick wall sometimes and its a life changing experience and not being able to remember what life was like before diabetes but your content makes me feel not so alone ❤
You are the most inspirational person❤️ your not alone please don’t cry.. I love you.. you got this
Girl your not alone. I completely understand how you feel. I feel so heart broken about my own illness and i also have a hard time feeling like i dont fit in. Thank you for sharing your struggle. ❤
Your not over reacting at all. ❤❤❤
So sorry for what you are going through, I felt the same when I was first diagnosed with POTS, stay strong and I’ll be praying for you ❤️🙏
I am so sorry for you Alicia, you're so brave, strong and such a sweet person. You deserve to pull through all of this, we've all got your back - even from the other side of the world (I'm from the UK haha). I also went through a breakdown about life the week before I turned 18, and whilst I know everyone's situations are different, it really does suck. But just know this, there are so many wonderful people in your life who will help you get over anything, and you are the best person ever. I wish you so so much luck, I'm so happy that someone believed you! You deserve all the happiness in the world. You can do this, WE LOVE YOU 🤍🤍🤍
I completely understand. You are not alone! I’ve had a chronic illness all my life and a lot of my symptoms are quite similar to diabetes so I can relate with the sugar levels dropping. As you go through the motions you have bad days where you feel like your chronic illness was consumes you. But some days you feel empowered and you embrace that you’re thankful your body is accepting the treatment you’re given. At times you do feel lonely because you can’t do other things normal 18 year olds do ( I’m 18) and it’s frustrating. But maybe there’s a better purpose for you out there and that’s what I keep trying to tell myself. Keep going, I hope you feel better soon ❤❤
What an incredibly inspiring and courageous lady you are.
Having to act like you’re fine and feeling like you have to pretend sounds far worse than diabetes or seizures. It is a big deal because it’s a big deal to you and it’s right where you’re living now. I know so many people who don’t even have the capacity to feel emotion as deeply as you have here. It may not seem that way right now, but that is a real gift to be so connected between your body and your emotions- cherish it.
It will sound really odd, but you enjoy a depth of friendship and feel richness in the personalities of others who you meet throughout life and you’re even feel a twinge of sadness for others because of how shallow they are.
I remember feeling sad when I was going to have my left eye removed. I had to laugh at the share ridiculousness of grieving the loss of something that had never worked in the first place, and only a couple of years before started becoming a source of pain. I felt like the appropriate response should’ve been gratitude for finally moving towards stabilizing life in a positive direction, but that’s not how humans are wired for a visceral response.
My eyes developed such a sensitivity to light coupled with perpetual dizziness that I had to live face down in a dark room or bent over trying to shield my eyes for a little over two years. Because I wasn’t telling doctors the typical things they expect to hear when dispensing pain medication: like my back or neck hurts, but I kept telling everyone that I wanted to scoop out my eyes if it would just make the pain go away. Since doctors thought I was crazy, I was put on several flavors of psychotropics.
After I was able to have right eye, laser, glaucoma, surgery, left eye removed, and the right eye cataract removal with lens implantation, I thought everything was over. Before I could find my footing in life again, nine months later after the last surgery, a work truck creamed my mother’s giant SUV and I had no clue where I was for six days. It was then I was told that no one would know the extent of the brain damage until far into the future. All I knew was that it was difficult to formulate sentences and find optimal vocabulary items, which was a real bummer, considering I was supposed to be the language person having majored in German, minored in Spanish/psychology and done tutoring for blind Spanish speakers who wanted to learn English.
Because of all that ordeal, I’ve been able to be the health and wellness/rehabilitation coach for for others who are overwhelmed. I managed to pick up networking and cyber security Certifications, in troubleshooting comes naturally since I had to troubleshoot myself for so long. I’ve been at Brazilian jiu-jitsu for 6 1/2 years and just got my brown belt. Because things are harder to learn now combined with the fact that I was a lifelong musician, not athlete, everyone says I have a real gift for teaching.
Only a couple of weeks ago, I faced my fears and started trying to study the foreign languages. I know best. To my shock, pieces are falling into place at an incredibly rapid rate like I never thought would be possible.
That tome is to tell that you will come out of this an even more glorious creature than the one you remember previously And that you will find lots of other people who are ostensibly left behind, who will appreciate your enhancements to their lives in ways that the so-called normal people won’t even be able to understand as you will.
I was diagnosed with T1D when I was 17 almost 18 the day after I graduated high school. I never even got to experience what “real life” should’ve looked like and it has taken me a long while to adjust. My life was put on pause and now at 19 almost 20 I am still trying to get my license and work and live my life without the constant fear it gives us. Take the time to grieve love, be sad and angry you have every right to be. From a girl on the other side of the world who might possibly understand, your life will be everything you dreamed of with a couple extra steps along the way. Give yourself gentleness, there is nothing wrong with you because our bodies forget how to act. Sending you a little dust of the things that make you happiest ❤️
I am so sorry for your pain and suffering I clearly see your pain. As hard as it is right now i pray you see the positives in this dark time. Remember all you have to be thankful for. I understand pain i lost my mom and have been going through grief in a different way but we must focus on the positive and write down lists of what we have to be thankful and not focus on what we dont have, cant do, or have lost. Im praying for you sweet girl.
Alicia you are so brave, your vulnerability is your strength. Not many people can do what you are doing with your platform, and I hope you know everyone in your little corner of the internet is rooting for you and wishing you a big hug. I'm only 16 but I can imagine how you are feeling. Like you, I'm also behind a lot of my friends but to hear that I'm not alone makes me feel so seen. I don't have a chronic illness but I know that a lot of people here can massively relate to you. You are not alone. xx
yo girl i feel the same way you do it happened to me but your gonna be fine i and everyone else supports you you did nothing rong ever you are you the person that loves art turns 18 in a couple of weeks but still you got this you are gonna pull through these years and days 😊
Girl, i feel for you and i am so so sorry. i also have type one and got diagnosed when i was 16, im 21 now just had my five year anniversary, and trust me i get you when you say 'what did i do to deserve this' or 'why me' and these are questions we will never know the answer to and nobody else can truly understand the mental toll that something like diabetes takes on young women. greiving for my childhood and life before diabetes is so so difficult to think about because its mind-boggling to me that there were 16 years off my life not defined by carb counting, dexcom alarms, and making sure ive packed 132532 supplies before i leave for the day. Thank you for posting this and for being real, i am sending you luck that you will figure out whats causing these seizures. Never ever think that you are overreacting because trust me the average person does not have to deal with the bs of healthcare institutions and you are so so so strong xx
hey alicia i just wanna say that i love you so much you have helped me alot with my mental healt the last months of my life and im so sorry that this hapend to you❤❤ i hope you feel beter soon and you will eventualy get better sometime and you will be fine just like me and everyone else❤ i hope you know we all love you and that you mean a lot to some of us. I wish you health alicia❤
Hope you get well soon and hope you doesn't struggle anymore and your seizure stopped soon 😓
I cried with you throughout the entire video. Believe me, your feelings do not seem exaggerated, I can imagine how painful it is. I don't have diabetes, I have another problem that I don't even want to talk about. But the feeling that you are not like everyone else simply tears you apart from the inside. Honey, your videos have always supported me. Please don't give up, you will definitely get through this. You are truly a wonderful person💔
Everything is gonna be fine ❤
aw bby, ive been through the same thing (different health issues but same thing mentally) its so so hard and i never thought it would get better but it does! i never thought i would be anything but my illness and issues, but now im really living life to the fullest and i hope the same for you soon! ill be praying
Im crying watching this my mum has diabetes as well and i hate that you bothe struggel with this stupid illness but to motivate you you will get through this because you are sooo strong dealing with this illness at your young age proves this even when you have down moments
I hope you get better and we all love you ❤❤
Alicia, your feelings are ALWAYS valid, and I’m so proud of you for sharing them. I can’t even imagine having to deal with a chronic illness, and at such a young age. You are so strong, and I promise you did nothing wrong to deserve this. Sometimes life is just so unfair. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. We wish absolutely nothing but the best for you. We believe in you, and I pray that you are able to get your license and experience the freedom you deserve as soon as possible💗
My angel please don’t cry, I’m sure everything gonna be okay again, you are an angel but life is doesn’t fair, you are right it’s sucks but you are so strong baby, nobody can judge you about what you feel about it, you are doing your best, You spend your time more productively and better than most people I've seen in my life. I’m sure everything gonna be alright I’m really sure, nobody have to be happy and okay everytime, that’s so normal that you are thinking why me, but life is really isn’t fair for asking that, you are doing great and I’m sure you’ll have the best life, I love you soooo much Angel, don’t forget that❤️❤️❤️♾️
alicia, you did absolutely nothing to deserve this. you are a perfect soul and you have changed lives! like mine, you changed my life and now i'm eternally grateful for you. i'm only 15 years old and i have all the confidence in the world to tell you this: you are perfect, and beautiful, an amazing, and wonderful soul. i don't have the right to say i understand what you're going through because i don't. i can only imagine how tough it is and i wish i could take that pain away. i'm sending all my prayers your way and i i hope you feel better ❤ i love you