r/Relationships: Fiancee broke up with me because he wasn't my first choice
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- čas přidán 7. 09. 2024
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Original story:
Fiance (28M) wants to end our relationship because I (27F) didn't choose him first.
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if only OP had made Ryan her first choice, and Ryan would have gone to therapy from the beginning, this really wouldn't have escalated the way it did.
this is such a heartbreaking story, but this is OP's damn friend that started all this shit. This re relationship is going to go to shit. Good on OP for getting the fuck out of the relationship. Andy should just go back to his toys LOL
lol
Looks like Andy had a friend in a piece of shit. Good Thing OP dumped him.
Dude. *Face Palm* He Left Her, Because He Lived In a Lie For Seven Years.
Honestly, I think Ryan sounds more like an r/niceguy, considering the fact that he was upset that OP chose Andy, a person that OP at the time didn't know well over him, a guy shes know for years. He sounds like OP should be obligated to date him from the beginning, even tho no one should be.
He sounds like a walking red flag, and I hope OP did leave him.
Ryan having concerns over being her "second choice" were perfectly understandable, then he took it way too far; I'd go so far as to say blowing his own feelings about their past relationship way out of proportion. If it is the case, she is lucky to no longer be with someone who won't even try to make themselves better to save a perfect relationship.
Have a good one Victor, and take as long as you need with Stories of Sodor. They are more than worth the wait!
I'm Mad at Ellie For Not Keeping Her Mouth Shut. She Ruined It All.
8:27 Victor and me: No you won’t!
If that comment's real, then it's maybe for the best. Hearing this makes me feel uneasy. Really; all I can think is...best of luck to everyone, indeed!
I have to agree with Victor here. Ryan sounds like an insecure and fragile person. What happened 7 8 or even 9 years ago doesn’t matter because these 2 were getting along well and were having high hopes about their future. I won’t say that the friend ruined the relationship by bringing Andy up. It happens and she didn’t intend to ruin her friend’s relationship and refusing to go to therapy will only make things worse. I’m not sure how to feel about Ryan. She SAYS he’s a “good” person but good people don’t ruin relationships with their wives all because she dated some guy 7 years ago. At first he sounded good but near the end he sounds very insecure. If Ryan is reading this comment AFTER watching this video I just have 1 thing to say to you: GO TO THERAPY! I went to it for months and it did me wonders. You won’t believe how relaxed and calm you feel when talking about these things to someone who cares about others mental health and has get advice on how to improve yourself and your relationship with others.
Ryan is very secure is knowing he was the second choice.
It sounded like both of them are at fault, i 🤔 💭
To my interpretation this story seems like more of an AITA where both are in the wrong, OP far more than Ryan. I know distance can be a deal breaker for some people but OP did him dirty by dating Andy simply because they went to the same school and thought Ryan would’ve been boring to date, yet went crawling back as soon as Andy dumped her. I empathize with Ryan for feeling like OP’s Plan B, that would tear anyone up; however, his short fuse, refusal of therapy, and relationship do-over idea were not wise. As for OP, I noticed she never outright apologized to Ryan but resorted to bargaining and I can’t help be feel like she wasn’t been 100% truthful… she did hide the fact that she thought Ryan would’ve been too boring to date from him for over 7 years and went back to him simply because she was single again.
In short, they’re better off without each other in their lives and both need serious therapy.
The guy sounds like an imposter. He was too nice and kept on going on with basically "break it off because you didn't pick me 7 FUCKING years ago" sounds untrustworthy
So I'll be frank here, she accepted Ryan's proposal and they were about to get married. That tells me all I need to know about how op felt about Ryan. Mate was just being insecure about the fact he wasn't the first choice of boyfriend, I can understand it but that's just plain dumb how he took it. Maybe instead on focusing on why he wasn't first maybe focus on the fact that op wanted to marry Ryan.
He is focused on why she wants to marry him; because Andy didn't want her..
8:27
No! You won't!😠
she should have left ryan lol
OP: My Fianće broke up with me because he found out he was my second choice?
Me: well no sh*t, Sherlock. How would would lije it if you found out hou were his second choice??? You wouldnt like that now would u?
Personally, I wouldn't give a flying fuck. I know I'm not always going to be the first pick people have for a partner, but I'm not insecure enough to really care about someone's life before they met me.
@@johnathanedwards9054 Well, she did have a relationship with Ryan first, so there's that.
Man I'm torn. I totally understand why Ryan would feel this way, but I feel he got too invested in his emotions to acknowledge that the strong 7-year relationship they had basically nullified and made up for it. I totally understand what it's like to deal with minor upsetting things in relationships. I too have been unable to let them go in the past. That said, Ryan's major mistake was declining therapy above all. That would have seriously helped all of this, but he decided not to. Coming from someone who's been in a similar position, I don't think Ryan only wanted a do-over, I think he wanted to also make his partner feel some of his grief. I think he wanted a resolution, but also wanted to hurt his partner in some way so she could also feel some of the heart break he was feeling. I do think it's bad of her to do have chosen someone she hardly knew over someone she knew well, but at the same time, that is within her right. They definitely need to separate if Ryan won't get therapy. He has a very patient and loving partner and if he isn't willing to resolve this peacefully and loving, he doesn't deserve her. In the end, if something like this is bothering you and you feel like you need to make it right, make it right the right way, don't make it worse, because that's exactly what Ryan did, and I'm sure he's regretting how he acted. Don't take what you have for granted over smaller things. If you feel you need your partner to make up for something they did, work with them on it, don't push them away. Pushing them away and stressing them out like this makes everything worse and eventually, you'll have less than what you started with, with or without whatever frustrating decision was made by whomever.
In my experience, most therapists pick sides and try to invalidate what you are feeling to convince you to feel the way they think you should feel.
That story was messy and gave me a headache.
What Do You Think Of Tale Of The Brave
A great movie!
Gater is an underrated character, I wish he had been given more episodes....
I love the song Monsters Everywhere, it reminds me of Heffalumps and Woozles from Winnie the Pooh!
Though, there is one thing that does confuse me watch when I rewatch this film. The Clay Pits are shown here, despite it being destroyed in the Season 3 episode Heroes. So, did they have the place rebuild during the events of TATMR, S6, S7, the HiT-Era and the Nitrogen-Era?
Plus, I kinda wished that Duck had shared the main role with Thomas, Percy and James.
But, those are only minor things and that doesn't spoil my views on the film.
Underrated af
Underrated movie if I'm being honest.
Ok
@@johnathanedwards9054 ok
you given up on stories of sodor?
No, he hasn’t! Victor is currently working on it…it takes time to create an entire season. Plus, he had some writers block and asked for help…which he got. He’s back to writing and the Stories of Sodor will be back when Victor is fully finished with all of the episodes. It’ll be worth the wait.
@@WilliamCLAnderson A new season? Mate I don't think he has ended the one he's currently doing. he just left it on a note that still leaving us to wonder that's now annoying us
@@MidlandProductions valid point but think about what goes into video making.
Writing a cohesive story, character interactions, characters themselves, voices for said characters, which he does by himself, then filming, editing and posting, which all has to be done in a week due to his schedule, and he has other ones like the Reddit railway, shorts and now “Sodor retold”
@@ezugen mate ik how much time it is to make a series like this, no need to tell me.