Why Are Grumpy Old Men Grumpy?

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  • čas přidán 5. 09. 2024
  • Patrick Bet-David explains why people become “angry old men”. Subscribe for weekly videos bit.ly/2aPEwD4
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Komentáře • 1,2K

  • @freem4nn129
    @freem4nn129 Před 4 lety +221

    I really started liking Patrick over the years, in the beginning i thought he was some kind of bully type of person because of his demeanor , but watching and listening to him he's the type of guy who helps people find the answers they don't know they are looking for.
    Stay blessed sir

    • @os6552
      @os6552 Před 4 lety +7

      @Magic11 The way he talks might seem that way to some people. He sounds confident/ assertive to me personally.

    • @yorkshireway150
      @yorkshireway150 Před 4 lety +5

      Me too felt the same way but nw he is inspiration❤

    • @BMDecipher
      @BMDecipher Před 4 lety +2

      1st time I saw a vid of him, he was mad about a sock he was wearing that had a hole in it, threw it out and had some comment about it...the manner in which it was done though is what rubbed me off. But here I am years later, still watching, grumpy af. Relatively young but time waits for no one.

    • @keelsmac01
      @keelsmac01 Před 4 lety +7

      Harry Smith He’s worth millions, has 2 Popular podcasts, a thriving business....goes to show you don’t need a woman’s studies degree to make it 😳😳😳😳

    • @AllHandlesRTaken
      @AllHandlesRTaken Před 4 lety +2

      I get the same thing. Sadly we live in superficial world of fake smokers (think the movie the purge), where applying a fake face saving strategy falsely convinced people you are kind.
      Your words are correct, many misconstrue demeanor based on prejudice. Bravo to you for looking beyond the cover of a book.

  • @menumlor9432
    @menumlor9432 Před 4 lety +335

    Quote by Socrates
    What a disgrace for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.

    • @yonisali3879
      @yonisali3879 Před 4 lety +4

      Maybe all the stunning chicks were Rome.
      I personally see no
      no beauty in the male body but it is practical as fuck tho if person wants to test themselves there are many ways to do that without skimping on the sweet fruits of life .

    • @menumlor9432
      @menumlor9432 Před 4 lety +5

      @manolo manolo so am I.
      You got a problem with that?

    • @horserose17
      @horserose17 Před 4 lety +1

      WHAT? the LORD SAYS A MAN WITH GRAY HAIRS GROWS WISDOM (suppose to)YOU HAVE A MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL BODY AFTER THIS 2 CORINTHAINS 5:8 !

    • @Random-rt5ec
      @Random-rt5ec Před 4 lety +1

      100% of all the USA’s problems are the result of TEACHER UNIONS. These problems include growing up to be old & grumpy. Teacher unions have been dumbing down the USA for several generations.

    • @blakealtonen9858
      @blakealtonen9858 Před 4 lety +2

      Mans greatest burden is unfulfilled potential.

  • @rosesperfumelace
    @rosesperfumelace Před 4 lety +155

    Great advice. I sat down with my husband we had 2 kids at the time. I told him I wanted to write novels. I loved writing and it came easy to me. I figured it was doeable because I could do this at home while taking care of our kids. His response, he laughed at me. I remember how hurt I was because I fully supported his dream of owning his own mechanic shop. Which I supported financially and emotionally. Needless to say years down the road we got divorced. For many other reasons too. But I remember I was really mad at myself for not doing it anyway. I haven't done it yet but I put myself through school working a full-time job and taking care of my kids and became a licensed massage therapist. I felt accomplished. Now the kids are grown and I have the urge to write again. This time it will happen. ✌

    • @greenpickle9606
      @greenpickle9606 Před 4 lety +9

      Marlena D good for you... My wife has done the same thing in supporting my business which is finally doing well after 6 years. I’ll make sure down the road when she needs the same thing... I’ll give it back. It’s only the right thing to do. Even though we both enjoy the fruits of the company I started, it would have never happened without her emotional and financial support.

    • @linmal2242
      @linmal2242 Před 4 lety +4

      Good on you both Marlena and Green Pickle. common sense people prepared to have a go with support from sensible partners.

    • @Genxrgonemad
      @Genxrgonemad Před 4 lety +2

      Best select I know you'll do it!

    • @rosesperfumelace
      @rosesperfumelace Před 4 lety +2

      @@Qrayon yeah, I realized I made a typo after the fact. No one is perfect. I imagine you are friends with my ex lol.

    • @Qrayon
      @Qrayon Před 4 lety

      @@rosesperfumelace Oh, o.k. I'll delete my comment. You know you can always edit your comment by clicking on the 3 dots to the upper right of your comment.

  • @ChristianMCarroll
    @ChristianMCarroll Před 4 lety +51

    I had this conversation with my wife when we started dating. I’m a dreamer and I have big aspirations and it’s important to my mental health. She values a man that goes and gets it and leads. We had this conversation and she was on board. It’s been stressful but God has provided amazingly and we are 2 years into marriage and it’s the backbone of my life (other than Jesus) because we are on the same page.

    • @amberdelivered6054
      @amberdelivered6054 Před 4 lety +3

      Loved hearing this. God bless you and your wife. A Christian man who can lead and a wonderful wife who lifted you up and allowed you to do the leading. What a team.!

    • @ra444vlz
      @ra444vlz Před 4 lety +1

      That is one powerful image you gave me. It seems to me you're "walking with God", which for me means that you are living in accordance on how God wants a man to live. I also have big ambitions, and want to build a successful career, and want to marry later in life. Would you mind giving me any tips ?
      I'm 26, I just graduated from a physics major and I'm looking to find a job right now and do a masters degree in a year from now. I have a girlfriend but, I wanted to ask how you knew you found the right partner ? Perhaps, should I be focusing more on my career and mind the girlfriend/partner stuff later ? Or on what should I be focusing on right now ?
      Thank you in advance.

    • @zaynumar0
      @zaynumar0 Před 4 lety +1

      amazing doc ! How old are you?

  • @mkbcoolman
    @mkbcoolman Před 4 lety +4

    I couldn't agree more, Pat. I've been married for 26 years, and the challenges we've overcome in that time are a testament to proper communication. My kids have asked me several times how to make a marriage work, and my answer is always the same: Pursue your own goals with determination, dedication, and single-minded focus. After some time, you will look around and see that there are a small number of people running in the same direction. These people are your tribe...they will become your friends, challengers, and perhaps one of them will become your life partner.

  • @TheNewSchoolGamer
    @TheNewSchoolGamer Před 4 lety +14

    Even as a single guy in his 20's, I'm glad you posted this.

  • @christysmith2807
    @christysmith2807 Před 4 lety +20

    Over 30 years ago my husband had this conversation with me. I was scared big time but I knew he had to have his shot. Best thing we ever did👍

    • @boomerhgt
      @boomerhgt Před 4 lety +1

      He opened a newsagents shop

    • @rasul407
      @rasul407 Před 4 lety

      You got a channel but how comes I have more subscribers than you do?

  • @corylatimer
    @corylatimer Před 4 lety +6

    This is such a timely video. I’m 32 and I need to have this serious conversation else I end up being bitter at 70.
    A big THANK YOU!

  • @lifeofcus9991
    @lifeofcus9991 Před 4 lety +144

    Patrick is my therapist, needed to hear this

    • @P.Jlive2024
      @P.Jlive2024 Před 4 lety +1

      I'll 2nd that...

    • @magogo5905
      @magogo5905 Před 4 lety +1

      Me too, guys. 🤚

    • @boomerhgt
      @boomerhgt Před 4 lety

      Not sure about this big life thing what exactly does that mean ...more wealth I assume that's not a proper goal to aspire too

    • @lifeofcus9991
      @lifeofcus9991 Před 4 lety +3

      boomerhgt most people have aspirations for some people it’s something as small as owning a restaurant as a small business or finishing their preferred subject at university. I think for most people who are following valuetainment aspire to create something big. It doesn’t only bring you monetary satisfaction but it also free’s you up to be able to do things you want, spend time with family and not be caught up in something that doesn’t make you happy. That’s just my understanding though !

  • @CaseyBurnsInvesting
    @CaseyBurnsInvesting Před 4 lety +532

    Marry yourself and your aspirations first and you’ll attract your mirror image.

    • @BboyKeny
      @BboyKeny Před 4 lety +19

      My girlfriend and I want to grow and improve together. I'm 26 year old programmer she's 23 year old graphic designer and we are together almost 6 years
      She wants to write books and I support her. I want to make responsibilities easier and more fun for everyone. So I'm starting a software development company. I like helping people and making games so why not combine it?
      I guess we brought out our aspirations by encouraging each other. We both want to improve ourselves no matter how hard it is, because we both love each other.
      So in our case we did the inverse of what you suggest. I do agree with your strategy more though.

    • @alejandromontuffar6194
      @alejandromontuffar6194 Před 4 lety +2

      @@BboyKeny such wise words!

    • @P.Jlive2024
      @P.Jlive2024 Před 4 lety

      Finally some real Inspiration!

    • @genericsomething
      @genericsomething Před 4 lety +8

      Become what a good husband is, and your wife will find you.

    • @Alazoom76
      @Alazoom76 Před 4 lety

      Words to live by. Thanks.

  • @jackcomber1087
    @jackcomber1087 Před 4 lety +6

    Been working on my dream situation for over 10 years and 10,000 hours. Quit a high position job, got divorced and now I'm living life on my own terms with amazing success. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner in life.

  • @mayisaythatsasmashingblous5876

    I'm 22. I needed to hear this. I've been assuming I'll have my shit together in the next five years, next year, next few months. Never did. I may be young but I won't be forever and I need to take advantage of my youth while I still have it. Thank you, as always.

    • @alexanderx3554
      @alexanderx3554 Před 4 lety +4

      I had to laugh at your comment, because I thought very similar when I was 18 to 21. I'm like by 25 I'll be a millionaire, have my shit together and sip margaritas on a Beach (JBP reference). Needless to say at 25 I broke my depression finally, by 26 moved back out of mom basement, and just having turned 27 I'm now starting to develop a company crafting hemp products. I saw this art when I was in my 20s and it gave a good preview of what life was to come: i.pinimg.com/originals/eb/09/50/eb09504f67c2cb09307c27fd8bf8fb05.jpg
      Also check out selfauthoring.com for a awesome and straightforward approach to getting your past, present and future organized.

    • @boomerhgt
      @boomerhgt Před 4 lety +1

      Ibrahim Adam Elhari No your not there's 7.5 billion of us

    • @Pinchshot39
      @Pinchshot39 Před 4 lety +3

      Stay single

    • @LM-nu3em
      @LM-nu3em Před 4 lety +1

      Your shit together at 22? bud live your 22 years old life,. No one has his shit together not even at 70, with every decade comes its own challenges, don’t skip your decade....social media is extremely dangerous for young folks

    • @Curtoonstv
      @Curtoonstv Před 4 lety +1

      Pinchshot you can date around but I wouldn’t be looking for anyone serious until your late 20s. I’d say 27 to 29 cuz that’s how my dad did it. Both still married til this day.

  • @KyleInOklahoma
    @KyleInOklahoma Před 4 lety +57

    *_I have gone through so many phases in life. I'm married 21 years, I'm 1 month older than Pat. As Catholics we married for life, we dont believe in divorce. [dont get on my case, these are OUR belief's]. My amazing wife moved to America with me, moved back to Spain, to Crete, back to Ireland, to France. I bought property in France as a young man & the area has become the most popular part of the city to live. My kids are teens at school in Ireland. Their starting their phase's now. To top it all off, i couldn't marry someone with different foundational beliefs as me cause it wouldn't be fair on us. But we had so much fun in those 21 year's. We did so much. And neither of us ever gave up on anything we had on our bucket list, we helped each other._*

    • @lauravanbuskirk
      @lauravanbuskirk Před 4 lety +1

      Love this ♡

    • @ihavetubes
      @ihavetubes Před 4 lety +1

      👍

    • @KaRiNa-pj9sb
      @KaRiNa-pj9sb Před 4 lety +5

      Your so lucky! Some of us are still hoping to meet someone, who we can do things together and complement each other.

  • @scottandersen5013
    @scottandersen5013 Před 4 lety +1

    Nice Pat, My wife and I have raced through life for over forty years.3 kids 4 grand kids.. Still racing trying for more. Never stop till you drop, All we've got is our time. Never take it for granted.

  • @justmyopinion9883
    @justmyopinion9883 Před 4 lety +20

    Rules for a successful marriage:
    1) Make your spouse the most important person in your life.
    2) Maintain the trust. Once trust is gone it's hard to get back.
    3) Keep the lines of communication open. Don't ever be too busy to listen to your spouse.
    4) Never, ever subject your spouse to physical, verbal or emotional abuse.
    5) Tell your spouse "I love you" every day.
    6) Never stop dating each other.
    7) Make love as often as possible. 😉

  • @badasscop4459
    @badasscop4459 Před 4 lety +5

    I am 41, and I know what I want 2 years ago. Working hard to get ahead in life. My wife also has problems with it, I rather have guilt than regret, because in the end it will all be about regret. If you do or dont, difference is having something and have regret or have nothing and have more regret. I rather have something.
    And I did have this excact conversation 2 days ago with my wife. She brushed it off a bit, but now she nows. I am going for it regardless what happends.

    • @tool3142
      @tool3142 Před 3 lety

      Hell yeah buddy, I hope you're still going for it and going strong

  • @june-mariemorgan2579
    @june-mariemorgan2579 Před 4 lety +5

    It's perspective.
    Sometimes the big life is the small life and
    Sometimes the small life is actually the big life.
    It's not always about the money, but it is always about the value.
    You have to value yourself and value your life.

  • @willh69
    @willh69 Před 4 lety +9

    I really like Pat's approach. He's the most relatable mentor for me right now

  • @munhassan7840
    @munhassan7840 Před 4 lety +3

    This is so good I’m 40 years old and devoted myself for my family. I’ve made a decision to pursue my dreams it’s never too late. Be the best version of yourself and it’s important to be honest and speak up to your partner. I know I’m more than just a mum and a wife. God bless you fantastic video.

  • @jdstarek
    @jdstarek Před 4 lety +16

    This is a great vid
    I’m in a 16-year relationship, never married, no kids, happy AF.
    How? Why?
    Because I started having this conversation with every woman I dated after age 25. I found one that lined up...and we’re fu@king crushing it. We continue to crush it because we have this conversation every 6 months...and every year has been better than the last.
    Also (and this is probably the biggest key to it all), shared philosophy and values. Shared core values of what is right, what is wrong, what success looks like, what responsibility looks like and what happiness looks like. And yes...this 100% extends to political ideology.
    A good relationship is like a solid portfolio. Know what your intentions are, know your risk aversion, know what your goals are, know your stop loss...then reassess regularly to maintain proper alignment.

  • @ebrelus7687
    @ebrelus7687 Před 4 lety +5

    33 want to start programming, 10 years being simply scared of trying. Toughest conversation is with yourself. Courage is being scared and doing despite it, not doing is easy but it also has a cost of making you even more scared and weaker.

  • @oskyswork
    @oskyswork Před 4 lety +40

    I’m only 15 but I still learnt a lot for my future.
    Thank you.

    • @jimmyzhao2673
      @jimmyzhao2673 Před 4 lety +2

      Your future self will thank you

    • @oskyswork
      @oskyswork Před 4 lety +1

      @Jewell Weedman I think learned is US and Canadian whilst other places like the UK (where I'm from) and Australia use learnt.

  • @jamespn
    @jamespn Před 4 lety +183

    I’m old and grumpy but couldn’t be happier.

    • @review-report
      @review-report Před 4 lety +8

      Salute!! Live Long!!!

    • @Daniel-jc1wd
      @Daniel-jc1wd Před 4 lety +5

      :) I met "the oldest guy on the block" yesterday (ps...6 miles around the block)--he's 75--said he was first one here...I said me at 40 don't think to make 60, he said when he was 40 he thought if he made 55 he would be happy..."and now I'm 75 and still not happy":) Nice guy

    • @_Wai_Wai_
      @_Wai_Wai_ Před 4 lety +1

      @@Daniel-jc1wd why would people think they can't make it to 55 or 60? This is the USA, even the Average life expectancy, is around 79.

    • @Daniel-jc1wd
      @Daniel-jc1wd Před 4 lety +4

      @@_Wai_Wai_ I've been very sick 4 a long time...that's my reason...doctors have mostly been most unhelpful...not complaining, just saying

    • @TheEnd-sv8qr
      @TheEnd-sv8qr Před 4 lety +9

      James Nasto Awesome point! The grumpier I am, the less people screw with me and leave me the hell alone! Works like a charm everytime.

  • @rogerlewis6488
    @rogerlewis6488 Před 4 lety +1

    I'm old and grumpy and happy about it. I no longer compromise with the BS that is happening around us. Thanks for the video Pat and I agree with everything you said.

  • @missnthrop5763
    @missnthrop5763 Před 4 lety +29

    This is why I let my ex go.
    I knew he had goals that didn't allow for a woman who just wants to live the good life out in the country. He couldn't pull the plug so I did and since he stayed abroad living his corporate dreamlife, I know I did the right thing.

    • @MsTuliplady
      @MsTuliplady Před 4 lety +1

      To thine own self be true...

    • @joshuadarrington.
      @joshuadarrington. Před 4 lety +1

      @Mike McKay lmao bro your the man mike. Drop your nuts and let her know what you want to do. She needs to respect that you are the man and you run the house. God put you in charge for a reason. Dont let your wife run your household bro it never ends well

    • @missnthrop5763
      @missnthrop5763 Před 4 lety

      @Teressa Dy Not entirely impossible. I was always adamant that if we had kids they should be raised with both our faiths (he's Muslim, I'm Christian) & he could never fully agree on that with a clear answer. Everything happens for a reason!

    • @missnthrop5763
      @missnthrop5763 Před 4 lety

      @Mike McKay I wouldn't think a divorce would be required over that! Put some cute cows on it and how could she not roll with the idea?!

  • @mikepeters5931
    @mikepeters5931 Před 4 lety +1

    Taking the time to talk from your heart rather than provide a snipet for views is greatly appreciated. Toronto Canada 🇨🇦

  • @raquelrodriguez865
    @raquelrodriguez865 Před 4 lety +11

    When he said “ I need SIX HOURS of your time because we need to have a serious conversation.” 😳

  • @LOUDMOUTHFLAVORS
    @LOUDMOUTHFLAVORS Před 4 lety +9

    Just saw you at the mall yesterday! It was a surreal moment. It was great to meet you sir!

  • @viscirina
    @viscirina Před 4 lety +41

    If you can’t convince your life partner of your aspirations, then how will you ever convince the public?

    • @sishrac
      @sishrac Před 4 lety

      @Green Mills
      "Elon Musk women haven’t been loyal to his dreams."
      Maybe they saw that something was wrong with his dreams...

    • @Anthonydu01630
      @Anthonydu01630 Před 3 lety

      sishrac then they were wrong, not him

  • @jordanaubrey-realestateinv334

    Become the person you want to meet. Everything else will take care of its self.

  • @joeythechin8870
    @joeythechin8870 Před 4 lety +4

    I’m 50. Thank God I had this very conversation with my wife when I was 30.!! I can’t and never could blame anyone for my success and or my failures in life!!

  • @msbethmildhyperbaricoxygen6392

    Thank you. My husband said to me when we first got married that he was jealous that I love my career. I asked him what do you want to be (he was 41 years old at the time) he said I’ve always wanted to be a cop. I then said let’s go be a cop then and he started applying to police jobs. He had 18 years in the military at the time but hated his job. He was a cop in 6 months after our conversation and he has never regretted his decision. I will always support him in his desires and have the hard conversations.
    Thank you for this inspiration.

    • @sunnystiver2897
      @sunnystiver2897 Před 4 lety

      Way to ho chickaroo 💪💯 thank you both for your service 💖💥💖💖

  • @Bud_Studly
    @Bud_Studly Před 4 lety +100

    Regret about not starting a business, is not the reason most grumpy old men develop this attitude. Men turn grumpy, and cynical, and resentful, when they come to the realization that they are nothing more than a plow horse and checkbook to their wife.

    • @pulanala1421
      @pulanala1421 Před 4 lety +10

      The only relevant comment

    • @williamjarvis2241
      @williamjarvis2241 Před 4 lety +13

      Men lead a life of quiet desperation

    • @Bud_Studly
      @Bud_Studly Před 4 lety +20

      @@pulanala1421 I've seen it happen over and over. Bust your hump for decades to provide the lifestyle she demanded, and in the end you get something like: "Your job was more important than me - or - You never listened - or - We've grown apart - or - I love you, but I'm not in love with you". Most guys will suffer in silence. I've know men who spent years in sexless marriages, and never said a word about it, until she dropped the divorce papers on his desk.

    • @Bud_Studly
      @Bud_Studly Před 4 lety +5

      @@williamjarvis2241 Truth brother. Most of the older guys I've known do exactly that.

    • @Bud_Studly
      @Bud_Studly Před 4 lety +4

      @wanderer Cash and prizes! And the odds at the Casino of Family Court are stacked against the guy.

  • @Drewtazy
    @Drewtazy Před 4 lety

    I am a 71 years old Grandmother and this is a timely video for everyone no matter where you’re at on this journey called life.

  • @branalexboyd
    @branalexboyd Před 4 lety +6

    This conversation is tough to have. When my wife and I had this conversation (Me the entrepreneur). She threatened to leave me and take the kid, we went to marriage counseling, and didn't really talk until 3 weeks later. This exact conversation with questions.
    Eventually she came around and we have been moving forward ever since.

    • @rrrrrrny
      @rrrrrrny Před 4 lety

      Are you Entrepreneur now ?

    • @branalexboyd
      @branalexboyd Před 4 lety +1

      @@rrrrrrny Yes I am and it is the best decision for me and by proxy my family.

  • @Florida_Joe27
    @Florida_Joe27 Před 4 lety +1

    EXCELLENT video!! Great advice for all.

  • @seipher_8334
    @seipher_8334 Před 4 lety +7

    This is exactly why I didn't get married or have children until my late 30's! I wanted to make sure I tried and did everything I wanted to do with my life. Now everyday I wake up with my wife and kids I'm absolutely grateful and will do everything for them. I don't have regret in my heart and that is exactly why I'm not a grumpy old man lol

  • @BradBlackburnDesign
    @BradBlackburnDesign Před 4 lety +2

    Great challenge today Pat. We are the same age, and honestly this hit me square in the face. I owned a business for almost 10 years before it failed and since I’ve been struggling to be ambitious and dream again. Confirming is fine if you are not going to regret it later. Nothing wrong with having a simple life. Like you said though, have the guts to have that tough conversation with yourself first and then your partner. #challengeaccepted 👍🏻

  • @gmilitaru
    @gmilitaru Před 4 lety +10

    It was scary and extremely painful when, after seven years of blissful marriage, my second wife finally let it out - in a moment of more or less justified anger - that us being madly in love until the end of our life was not the way she imagined our relationship. In the meantime, she had gotten more and more frustrated with my lack of support, and I with not being able to share emotions, doubts, insecurities with her. It took me/us one and a half years to overcome this. But she was too good a human being to let her go. It is no longer the same arrangement, the happiness is still there - for both of us I hope - but we are still able to look at our future happily rather than grumpily look back at missed opportunities.
    As long as we feel ourselves powerful and immortal, it is easy to kick our dissatisfaction and missed aspiration down the road. But there comes a moment in our lives when we feel immortality leaving us. When this moment comes, if the bottom line is in red ink for whatever reason, it is very hard not to flip out. Usually, this is when men, in their very late forties, start acting like moody, irresponsible teenagers only to crash down and burn in a few years' time and become grumpy old men. When women realise there will be no Prince Charming to come and love and protect them from an empty, hollow nest, usually in their early fifties, they stop struggling to find a way out and start looking to get revenge for having been scorned by life. They want to shape a phantom of their ideal lives at the cost of bending others' lives like ruthless Miss Havishams. Of course, not all disappointed men end up grumpy old men, and not all disillusioned women and up old, bitter, malicious crones. But again, it is very difficult to completely avoid going down that path if you failed to follow your potential and your dreams by the end of your immortality.

    • @c.s1393
      @c.s1393 Před 4 lety

      Brilliant analysis

  • @tman5634
    @tman5634 Před 2 lety +1

    I had the conversation & conversations with my spouse. Unfortunately she didn't listen or understand.
    I realised we weren't singing from the same home sheet & so we split up.
    Being single I could follow my dreams without being held back, I was my own boss without restrictions.
    Years on & I've accomplished my dreams, but at the expense of an equal & supportive spouse in my life...but now I can build on that dream & go for my next.
    Great vlog, thank you.

  • @OmarDelawar
    @OmarDelawar Před 3 lety +7

    Why are old men grumpy? Several reasons:
    1. Body is falling apart and everything hurts
    2. Nobody cares nor respects them
    3. They want a hot young wife not an old potato sack
    4. Their Social Security check isn't enough to live on
    5. They probably didn't save enough to make ends meet
    6. Their own children have disowned them and see them as liabilities
    7. Nursing home living sucks!
    8. They are trapped in a body that doesn't even work anymore like it used to
    9. They can't even take care of themselves and need people to dress them up
    10. They miss their youth when they were able to do everything they wanted...oh the regrets!

  • @jmrealestate6215
    @jmrealestate6215 Před 4 lety

    Your new book "Your next five moves" is a game changer. i received it yesterday and i cant even put it down. I encourage every business owner and or entrepreneur to get it and take it SERIOUS. peace and love to ALL

  • @brian81877
    @brian81877 Před 4 lety +22

    35 year old stay at home wife: babe I decided I want to be an astronaut.

  • @Mrmel64
    @Mrmel64 Před 4 lety

    Outstanding. At 36 had "The Talk". Her response was nothing but supportive. It was the right choice and propelled my career and our family in a very good direction.

  • @razenhell6514
    @razenhell6514 Před 4 lety +44

    Happiness is everything 1996 and before.

  • @LeonardoHaut
    @LeonardoHaut Před 4 lety +1

    Probably one of the best vídeos by PBD. misalignment and miscommunication brings so many problem along the way. We have 2 choices, pay the price with discipline or regret, I personally think regret is the worst one.

  • @jorgefigueroa2231
    @jorgefigueroa2231 Před 4 lety +8

    I'm single but I'm glad to hear this. One day this will come up with my future wife.

    • @alandbs329
      @alandbs329 Před 4 lety

      .....I’m pretty sure you’re gonna die alone. 💁

  • @talentshow7652
    @talentshow7652 Před 4 lety

    Excellent Pat! I became self employed over ten years ago.We have experience some major set backs, BUT I will NOT be GRUMPY. Remember the conversations will be often failure or success.

  • @chrysoulano-name4033
    @chrysoulano-name4033 Před 4 lety +4

    Uh-O, had this convo, but I said let’s divorce, but 7 years of fighting later. Good point, I should tell my kids why daddy calls me crazy. “I just want to be with you.” He said THAT!!! Oh my GOD! Compromising! He said yes AND DIDNT GO WITH IT! We had all of these conversations!!!! Having this convo DOESNT HELP WITH SOME PEOPLE

  • @alexanderka1956
    @alexanderka1956 Před 4 lety

    I'm afraid this speech is gonna snap the last string in my mind about doing what I always wanted for myself.

  • @mariaasimon3117
    @mariaasimon3117 Před 4 lety +32

    Being successful is different for a everyone.

    • @TheTread123
      @TheTread123 Před 4 lety

      @Joeys48 edit what you wrote, missing the word "Free"

    • @piisgi
      @piisgi Před 4 lety

      Yes. That's what unsuccessful people says.

    • @mariaasimon3117
      @mariaasimon3117 Před 4 lety

      @Joeys48 congratulations, on your financial success, excellent, America is the land of opportunity, we are free to choose our individual success..
      Nd

    • @boomerhgt
      @boomerhgt Před 4 lety

      mariaa simon Yeah great just before the mob burn down your house America ha ha

  • @yorkshireway150
    @yorkshireway150 Před 4 lety

    Same thing happened with my Dad. He was forced to make compromises. But he eventually managed to follow he is passion after fulling all responsbilities towards family. Now he is 68 Happy and healthy. His passion actually brought him money and status in society. He is very reputable in my town. One thing for he had made that convesation with him self. And followed it. One advice he always gives just do it. If you really believe it just do it ❤❤❤

  • @keenanbaldree6888
    @keenanbaldree6888 Před 4 lety +11

    “I don’t know why you’re asking these pity paty questions!!” Lmaooo

  • @busterhoodstar4447
    @busterhoodstar4447 Před 4 lety +1

    This is a great explanation. This is why potential couples should have this conversation BEFORE they commit to a relationship.
    Count yourself LUCKY if you had this conversation and your wife or husband keeps to the plan.

  • @YoungGoc
    @YoungGoc Před 4 lety +61

    "Maybe you're crazy and have 3 kids."
    *has 3 kids*

    • @ClassicCarCustodians
      @ClassicCarCustodians Před 4 lety

      😂

    • @arsend6951
      @arsend6951 Před 4 lety +4

      Same here, 3 years in marriage, each year new child. And now ive started own business, without show off extremely successful, and want to fuck my accountant, ive hired 4 days ago. Man, I have problem right?

    • @Iurydance1
      @Iurydance1 Před 3 lety

      @@arsend6951 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @vkngwmn6636
      @vkngwmn6636 Před 3 lety

      @@arsend6951 vulgar

    • @arsend6951
      @arsend6951 Před 3 lety

      @@vkngwmn6636 how? At least im honest. If you are interested I did not made any effort in that direction so far. Its not like im fighting with that desire, I simply refused to do that.

  • @efrainleguizamo5542
    @efrainleguizamo5542 Před 4 lety +1

    Patrick I swear this message was god sent if I get to meet you one day I have to tell you my story particularly pertaining to this video.
    Thanks Pat hope you have a blessed life

  • @jeffcousineau2933
    @jeffcousineau2933 Před 4 lety +3

    I guess my wife and I have a blessed relationship. Everytime we have a conversation that starts with "what do you want to do?" It usually ends with "then do it!".

  • @sslivestogiesandsports9166

    Best thing I ever watched! Pat, you're the man. Point blank!

  • @luxurybuzz3681
    @luxurybuzz3681 Před 4 lety +26

    "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" - The Notebook

    • @mahfeww
      @mahfeww Před 4 lety +1

      Most women I believe are programmed by society to need men to tell them what they want

    • @crem9607
      @crem9607 Před 4 lety +3

      People who do not know what they want = People who should not be in romantic relationships.
      You see it all - the -time. People get into romantic relationships and expect it to fulfill them. This becomes impossible because of 4 main reasons:
      1) When you don't know what you're missing/what makes you happy (or lack the ability to articulate it) then you'll never be able to ask for it. When you can't ask for it, the chances your partner will be able to give it to you are ZERO.
      2) Even if it was possible for your partner to give you what you were lacking, it's not your partner's responsibility to fulfill you. That's your job.
      3) If you don't know what you want, then you may choose to date someone who isn't capable of giving it to you in the first place.
      4) It paints an easy, cowardly target on the partner's back (as described in this video). It gives the incomplete person someone to blame when their partner doesn't change their life in all the right ways & make all their dreams come true (as if that was even their responsibility in the first place).

    • @AeternaQueen
      @AeternaQueen Před 4 lety

      People are programmed to behave in certain ways according to society. And many just conform because society can be psychotic and abusive when you don't. So out of fear and the need for self-preservation many settle and conform. The world should give people some time to figure out who they are and what they want without constantly trying to shove their own ideologies down people's throats. And let people go do what they want with themselves. I strongly believe the world would be much happier. But I think god-complexes and the need to control others is so overwhelmingly huge that many just can't find their own business and focus on themselves alone. They need to interfere with others.

  • @joashurban4506
    @joashurban4506 Před 4 lety

    Pat ive been watching you ever since i saw your first video... your wisdom is very rare and amazing... im 32 this year... i'm taking the risk to chase my dreams... living a normal life and having a normal 9-5 job isnt for me.. no one else in my life has given the straight forward good wisdom your have... keep it up your helping millions! Thankyou!

  • @Babett_B
    @Babett_B Před 4 lety +3

    For most people it's much easier to have somebody else make choices for them, then point fingers and not take responsibility for their inability to make a decision.
    And those people will never watch this video. It's too painful.
    Just as painful as for you to realise that you can't help them. Only they can help themselves.

    • @mr.l8527
      @mr.l8527 Před 4 lety

      It's called, "Personal Responsibility" and most people don't seem to fully grasp what that is (these days).

  • @sellmorehomesnow
    @sellmorehomesnow Před 4 lety +1

    This was literally one of your best videos... and it’s absolutely true. I’m 50.. and have made most of those mistakes you mentioned.. but it’s solid advice that you are giving that I wish I had known years ago.

  • @davidwright7606
    @davidwright7606 Před 4 lety +7

    "The vast majority of men live lives of quiet desperation". -- Ross Perot..

    • @maxdoubt7680
      @maxdoubt7680 Před 3 lety +2

      gee, i thought that was Henry David Thoreau - RP might've lifted it.

  • @Genxrgonemad
    @Genxrgonemad Před 4 lety

    This is profound advice. I always thought as a husband that you had to always compromise to have a great marriage. That may be true of some things but not of your dreams. Never ever let somebody stand in your way.

  • @jeffreyd508
    @jeffreyd508 Před 4 lety +9

    Dreams, goals, expectations all cause suffering in life. It will cause a constant state of discontentment, anxiety and dissatisfaction. Once you real a goal, you will quickly adapt and feel normal and not satisfied again. Then the next goal...then the next etc. I have none of those, and I'm very happy. Buddhism has helped me to not chase anything, but be here now, and be happy, NOW

    • @nuclearshinigami7743
      @nuclearshinigami7743 Před 4 lety

      Nice, but interesting to see you here on such an aspirations focused channel then.
      Still, the value of being grateful for whatever you already have or are is an important one.
      But still going forward so that our goals give meaning and not an unquenchable addiction seems way more fulfilling to me. So team Stoicism here but good on you for that fulfillment :)

    • @zaynumar0
      @zaynumar0 Před 4 lety

      I'm 21 and all I want is cash so I never have to work for another mere mortal. Them I can be satisfied with Buddhism agendas ;)

  • @nuclearshinigami7743
    @nuclearshinigami7743 Před 4 lety

    Daaamn Patrick, I'm not even religious in the traditional sense but you are a God sent gift if I've ever seen one.
    Been falling of from your content in the last month or so, now middle of a breakup. She is the sweetest of souls but couldn't save her from her own insecurities. Was in the middle of this talk 2 days ago when she couldn't handle it.
    Now this will help tremendously to put my thoughts together in an effective manner, to give her proper closure and maybe a training outline to love herself and get her life on track... slim but existent last chance for us. Still pushing on
    Greatest of days to anyone reading this!

  • @Je.rone_
    @Je.rone_ Před 4 lety +80

    Probably the aches and pains of old age, that'd prolly make anyone a little more grumpy

    • @uknasa007
      @uknasa007 Před 4 lety +2

      lol

    • @Daniel-jc1wd
      @Daniel-jc1wd Před 4 lety +3

      amen

    • @navithegoat65
      @navithegoat65 Před 4 lety +3

      Amen

    • @gmilitaru
      @gmilitaru Před 4 lety +5

      If you put it like this, the greatest pain-killer is to have a passion you follow in your life.

    • @TheAgentAssassin
      @TheAgentAssassin Před 4 lety +7

      Yeah my body has weird aches and pains I never knew existed. It does make me grumpy and moody sometimes.
      I long to leap like a gazelle in their youth.

  • @jeetenglish
    @jeetenglish Před 4 lety +1

    Hi sir. Thank you so much for making this content/ thought available to me. It has cleared up my mind in many things. I have been your regular student. I love to learn and grow through your ideas. I’m a teacher with a big language institute. I wish you all the best for everything and just want to let you know that you are making great difference in many people’s lives just like mine. Praying for your good health and happiness!

  • @KevinM88TR11
    @KevinM88TR11 Před 4 lety +25

    This is why I'd never get married again. Only date women that already have money.

    • @truckerj8717
      @truckerj8717 Před 4 lety +1

      Yep. I feel like they have to have the same to lose for me to be with them

    • @gmilitaru
      @gmilitaru Před 4 lety

      Or women who can stand on their two feet and only need the reassurance and the protection of a helping hand, of a reliable partner in conducting the tricky business of life. Of course, as I am not from the U.S., take my advice with a grain of salt

    • @herban_jungle
      @herban_jungle Před 4 lety +1

      Yeah for sure they should be financially independent.

    • @Curtoonstv
      @Curtoonstv Před 4 lety

      G Militaru hell nah, she gotta have some money, PERIOD. Especially, when we are in our 20s, she better be grinding with all of that youth we got.

    • @KevinM88TR11
      @KevinM88TR11 Před 4 lety

      @@Curtoonstv he just said he wasn't in the U.S. people and customs are different. I agree w you both, but in the U.S women need to be grinding

  • @KnowInsanity
    @KnowInsanity Před 3 lety

    Still going back and watching old videos because I only found you about 5 months ago. Absolutely loved every video I have watched. Thank You Pat!

  • @specna6467
    @specna6467 Před 4 lety +12

    Sometimes I wonder how am I getting this content for free....

    • @tonyscofield3103
      @tonyscofield3103 Před 4 lety +1

      CZcams is the best that ever happened to mankind. Better than universities

    • @AdventureElliot
      @AdventureElliot Před 4 lety +1

      He’s still making a lot of supplementary income off these videos from the millions of views.. so you’re helping him by watching.

  • @pr5pr
    @pr5pr Před 4 lety +1

    Patrick, u are one of the realest out there! Today was my first day at a new job and on the way I listened to your podcast. Somehow it gave me power. It was a great day.
    Now to this video: You've probably went through a lot and you are a really strong person. Women sometimes don't really know what they want. But believe things will unfold the right way. Much respect for you and best wishes.

  • @deepwaterjohnrask6980
    @deepwaterjohnrask6980 Před 4 lety +3

    I am a grumpy old Man because I look back over the generations of my family that fought for this Country only to watch it burn... Patrick, if
    Women listened to there Husbands and followed there direction we would not be looking at the end of this Nation. God help us all.

    • @michelep7017
      @michelep7017 Před 4 lety

      Can't blame it on the women

    • @sunnystiver2897
      @sunnystiver2897 Před 4 lety

      🤔🤔🤔 so, the down fall of our nation is by women who were raised with no fathers? 🤔🤔 bit narrow minded 🤷‍♀️ i absolutely agree that at the core of ugly is a bunch of women, but. . They were taught not just by other women, but men. Dads, teachers etc. Right? Just thinking out loud really, but interesting. Not looking for a CZcams war, just thinking. 🤷‍♀️ #StayLegendary my CZcams friend 💯💪💖💖🇺🇲

    • @deepwaterjohnrask6980
      @deepwaterjohnrask6980 Před 4 lety

      I should have stopped at "watch it burn". I blame cabin fever. Sorry.

  • @natalyadelvalle
    @natalyadelvalle Před 4 lety

    The way you tell stories really allows people to paint the picture of what life could be like if certain decisions the made!

  • @xraymao5405
    @xraymao5405 Před 4 lety +5

    Hey Pat, I would love you to give some book recomendation related to the subject in every video of yours.

  • @hildamailian3737
    @hildamailian3737 Před 4 lety +2

    I wish I had the confidence that I have now when I was 25 years old, I could of done a lot better. Still I’m not complaining.
    This video is the best advice you can give to married couple but don’t wait for too long.
    Thanks Patrick for another amazing video

  • @gokulnath3165
    @gokulnath3165 Před 4 lety +6

    Thats why im single, i want to be an entrepreneur and form an billion usd worth company and to create value in society

    • @gokulnath3165
      @gokulnath3165 Před 4 lety

      @Ladiekadie if i create jobs thats itself is an value

  • @ALee-ArmedVeteran
    @ALee-ArmedVeteran Před 4 lety +1

    Before I started my family, I told my fiancé.. Having children will not stop my pursuit of my goals... And my goals are bigger than anything you can imagine. . . She understands and she’s loving it... Women love ambitious men

  • @stone420
    @stone420 Před 4 lety +16

    Cos they haven't found.. wait for it...
    Weed. 😂😂 💚

  • @iordannikolov1373
    @iordannikolov1373 Před 4 lety +2

    Exactly with that conversation, I and my ex decided that we are not for each other! We had different visions for the future..... we've been 4years together.

  • @thomashenshallhydraxis
    @thomashenshallhydraxis Před 4 lety +7

    Getting married is not the safe bet.
    Getting married is how a man loses everything after working for ten years.

    • @LaDeeDah
      @LaDeeDah Před 4 lety

      And women lose everything during the ten years

    • @alantinoalantonio
      @alantinoalantonio Před 4 lety +3

      @@LaDeeDah actually, they don't. Courts favor them and they can latch on to another man easily.

    • @missnthrop5763
      @missnthrop5763 Před 4 lety

      @@alantinoalantonio 🤣🤣🤣Not if they have standards!

    • @LaDeeDah
      @LaDeeDah Před 4 lety

      @Ladiekadie 👏👏👏

    • @thomashenshallhydraxis
      @thomashenshallhydraxis Před 4 lety

      @Ladiekadie Behind every successful man is a line of young girls trying to slob on knobs.

  • @sophiarose9782
    @sophiarose9782 Před 4 lety

    Priceless! If in doubt, take the risk and have that conversation. You and your family are worth it. 🙌🏼

  • @fernandomart5414
    @fernandomart5414 Před 4 lety +4

    Yeah it's exactly what happened with my mother and father I remember my mom fighting with my father because of you I could have been to college I could have got my degree I could do this and that and then the other yeah you're right hundred percent right

  • @brettjones8567
    @brettjones8567 Před 4 lety

    I was 28 with 2 kids and a wife living in a single wide trailer going no where... i didnt have the talk, i just went for it and luckily my wife supported me and now we are 33 and own a half a million dollar house and 2 new cars and we are just getting started. Love these videos

  • @bkcellularking6772
    @bkcellularking6772 Před 4 lety +3

    God blessed me a 1000% over, i am as simple as it gets and wouldn’t change it for anything. Hobbies and hand me downs, with the company of good friends and family is cool with me. My parents bought me a brand new car when i was 19, i gave it back and bought a used lower brand. I loved that used car.

  • @Foygjkg
    @Foygjkg Před 4 lety +1

    Patrick good point but I have seen so many successful old men who are so grumpy and I try to avoid driving next to a Mercedes driven by an old man. I think it is usually impatience, entitlement and pain.

  • @AlphaMale_1
    @AlphaMale_1 Před 4 lety +6

    You have the conversation, wife typically does not support you.

    • @Curtoonstv
      @Curtoonstv Před 4 lety

      😂😂😂

    • @gu3sswh075
      @gu3sswh075 Před 4 lety

      Tom 9:46
      Most men have no reason for anyone to respect them. Sad but true. If you are a man who should get respect, trust me, there will be no shortage of it in your life

    • @Curtoonstv
      @Curtoonstv Před 4 lety

      Daniel Grutta Whatever you strive for, you’ll get it. But I wouldn’t strive for respect, personally, because I’m running a brand. Haters are welcome. If I was trying to be a thug, respect is what I’ll get but it won’t last. Never strive for something that won’t last.

  • @demonsix2406
    @demonsix2406 Před 4 lety

    Man. Thanks for sharing that vid. I hope people around you tell you in person all the time how grateful they are for the information and wisdom you share to help people. You’re a f-ing saviour man.

  • @Follow.Jesus.Christ
    @Follow.Jesus.Christ Před 4 lety +4

    Both partners need to follow their dreams in a smart, reasonable way.

  • @bjoldic
    @bjoldic Před 4 lety

    Wow your story telling is insane Pat. That intro was something else

  • @deuxpomme9777
    @deuxpomme9777 Před 4 lety +4

    Seems like ur talking about that Old grumpy man Thomas Jeffersons descendant u interviewed x)

    • @smartypants4571
      @smartypants4571 Před 4 lety

      Must be with this perfect timing !

    • @Bob-fz7pd
      @Bob-fz7pd Před 4 lety

      Cranky old man is being kind to that hateful old fart. I bet he was adopted and no one told him.

  • @USFOLLOWME
    @USFOLLOWME Před 4 lety +1

    THANK YOU, Pat. I have had that conversation and when my business could not grow and I had to go back to a regular job, I have missed being self-employed. I am going to do it this time. I am having this conversation and appreciate that I am working the correct way. You motivated me to keep talking and move forward.

  • @thewhirllwindmusic8245
    @thewhirllwindmusic8245 Před 4 lety +5

    My only dreams are to be able to walk in the store without having to block my respiratory system with a mask

  • @Kevin-he8ec
    @Kevin-he8ec Před 4 lety

    Great video Pat, very down to earth. A slap in the face by reality some of us really need.

  • @howardgstrecke
    @howardgstrecke Před 4 lety +12

    You know the hammer is coming when they say "we need to talk"

    • @michelep7017
      @michelep7017 Před 4 lety +1

      Oh yeah!😞

    • @JoanneJaworski
      @JoanneJaworski Před 4 lety

      Or maybe a wake up call? Just a different perspective!

    • @RatFink-nr5td
      @RatFink-nr5td Před 4 lety +1

      Yup ... Exact words .... TWICE!

    • @phyllismaness2332
      @phyllismaness2332 Před 4 lety +2

      It doesn’t mean the end of your life. I realized I did for everyone, my husband, his parents,his family but not for myself. After 26 years of marriage, I chose to separate and do what was best for me. I managed to graduate which Led me to obtaining an an
      MSW degree and find a totally new life for myself. It was a great experience and a totally rewarding second chance a life!

  • @JRS2248
    @JRS2248 Před 4 lety

    This was so RIGHT ON! Thank You from a old grumpy old man.

  • @TheEnd-sv8qr
    @TheEnd-sv8qr Před 4 lety +6

    Young man, people have been beat up all their lives with troubles, betrayals, problems, failures, deaths, financial losses and you havent even lived half the time that they have. See your point, but make your plans and many times God has a different agenda for you! Just sayin. Life is hard enough when you do everything right, screw up, just once, makes it that much more difficult, and it doesnt need to be you that did the screw up. Life can change in an instant. But good vid, thx

    • @thebigpicture2032
      @thebigpicture2032 Před 4 lety +1

      True! I was the victim in several accidents caused by other people. Injuries accumulate over a lifetime and can make you very grumpy due to writhing in pain.

  • @lifeisateacherfindthetrue5884

    Help People. That's the best thing ever. Give is the best feeling.

  • @untouchable360x
    @untouchable360x Před 4 lety +47

    That is why Tom Leykis calls women "Dream Killers."

    • @BuffaloBilly69
      @BuffaloBilly69 Před 4 lety +5

      Dream crushers

    • @mahfeww
      @mahfeww Před 4 lety +18

      The right woman, though they are few, are dream-makers

    • @untouchable360x
      @untouchable360x Před 4 lety +3

      @@mahfeww Outliers do not count. It's like winning the lotto. Not a good decision.

    • @vutEwa
      @vutEwa Před 4 lety +1

      @Stephon Stewart amen. "say it again"

    • @mahfeww
      @mahfeww Před 4 lety +4

      @@untouchable360x yep, and that's why I remain single. I know they're out there. I also know that men snatch them up quick. They're in very short supply.

  • @sunnypatil1716
    @sunnypatil1716 Před 4 lety

    Patrick Spoke from his Heart!! I can feel it. He knows what bitterness and regret looks like. THANKYOU PAT!