Battle of the Sexes: Who pays for the first date? || STEVE HARVEY
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- čas přidán 12. 09. 2024
- When it comes to first dates, does finance equal romance? Steve Harvey and his "Battle of the Sexes" panel find out.
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Woman: "I was raised to be independent!" *crowd applauds*
Man: "I was raised to be independent!" *crowd laughs*
+Art by Atlas Woman: A man should pay on the first date *crown applauds*
Man: Cant we just go dutch *gets knocked out with baseball bat*
:(
They laughed because men are never raised to be dependent.
Man: We created women to be a independent
For the only thing a man or a woman need each other is to have a baby, even if using In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) you always need sperms and ova/eggs, but nothing else... Don´t be illogical ...
This is why the divorce rate is so high
Wait the divorce rate is high because someone can't afford to feed the woman they asked to join them for dinner? If that's the case then that says something serious about people that are harassing women to date them when they can't afford a date.
No the divorce rate is high because of this mindset. 70 percent of divorce is filed by the wife and that says a lot
+Ricy Bob-
70 percent of divorce is filed by the wife but have you looked into why?
You're seeing a percentage and making up your own conclusion but studies paint a different picture.
70-80 percent of women don't consistently get off through penetrative sex either.
Studies have shown that
Married women reported lower levels of relationship quality than married men, he found. In contrast, unmarried women and men reported equal levels of relationship quality.
So what is it about marriage that leaves women less satisfied and more likely to walk away?
"Meaning that as much as women’s roles in society have changed, women’s roles within the families have changed very slowly,” he said, citing husband’s expectation for wives to do the bulk of the housework and childcare, even when both spouses work.-" Huffpost
The life expectancy of women shortens when they're married but men's life last longer. I know that seems odd but it's a fact.
Even sex in marriage. Sure married men may complain about not having as much sex as they'd like in marriage but married women complain that the sex that happens is often not fulfilling for them or their male partner is only interested in getting himself off.
Look at casual sex reports that talk about pleasure between men and women. Women always report unsatisfactory experiences where men tend to state that sex was great.
Other reports on sex quality:
Divorced or separated men are twice as likely to have been unfaithful in their marriage.
Women's stats on cheating has only increased but that has in part to do with the economic options women have now and also has to do with sex quality and the brunt of responsibility for childcare and cleaning up after the entire house being on their shoulders.
It's not entirely fair to just throw a stat out there without following it up with the supporting facts.
Divorce rate's actually going down, and is higher among baby boomers than Gen X and Millennials.
I agree
If a man must always pay for dates and "be the provider", doesn't that pretty much justify the wage gap?
I've never thought of that
if there was a wage gap
it does not justify by wage Gap because wages are based on work and not dating we should get paid according to our works it has nothing to do with dating
There isn't a wage gap by the way the reason man technically get paid more is because they tend to put their career first while women put family first, men are also more ambitious and seek out promotions, they work longer hours averagely and put in more effort and they also seek out higher paying jobs like lawyers, engineers while women go for lower paying jobs like teachers, etc. The reason many feminist think there is a wage gap is because they like to twist statistics and information in their favour and they will reject and ignore facts that do not go well with them.
food for thought u need a whole newsletter on that
Gender equality still has a long way to go. Has it ever occurred to women that us men want to feel appreciated as well.
Nobody cares about men's problems. Why do you think 78% of suicides are men? Something like 95% of work-related deaths are men.
Blue Finally Gets A Clue wow the generalization and sexism.
Blue Finally Gets A Clue I hope you realize that not all men are like that, and some of us realize that women of men alike shouldn’t be objectified.
This is so on point.
I think that's something women need to realize more but on the other hand we have to be aware that money isn't the only way to make someone feel appreciated. A lot of men that I know Express their Love by spending money and buying a gift or getting something nice to show their love for their partner a lot of women show their love by being affectionate or dressing up for their partner to make them feel nice. That doesn't mean that the other partner in the relationship can't take on those other roles every now and then which I think is healthy and would be very nice but we also have to keep in mind how the majority of men and women communicate when showing love and how different those languages often are.
The stay-at-home girl in red is amazing! Keep it up, help girls maintain their value.
Of all of the women on that panel she is the only one that is married.
Wtf she was arrogant af
@@gaby5546Nope. She’s the only lady on the panel. She’s the best.
Humans are too damn complicated.
We're quite simple but we make it complicated
+JLifeAdvice yea right
+JLifeAdvice Absolutely right.
so true. thats why we look to animals for comfort/friends/love.
No, they system has brainwashed us to be difficult. Marriage and family is about 'mutual sacrifice'.
I thought we want to get rid of gender bias? Or is it only gender bias against females
+chris Brown Can't help the genetics.
Yes, only against females. The world already hands men everything.
Sosmcs See Like rape convictions and jail sentences even when in reality nothing happened, the girl just dislikes said guy.
men and women are equal, unless its time to pay the bills
+chris Brown that is what I am saying..but you can't say that on tv..you know that.
"A man needs to be the provider" but if a man still has old school views on what a woman should be (a stay at home house wife who prepares his meals) then suddenly hes a misogynist lol i swear its women like that makes me feel glad i'm single. The level of double standards is mind boggling. A woman does'nt want to be viewed as stay at home wife anymore then why should men still be the providers? it works both ways
yep they don't want to be june clever but wants men to be don drapper
Joseph LeForte lool exactly
Machismo lol no the girl who wants to be provided for is the one who dosent work and stays at home
some women do wannt to be house wives
Some opinions from people makes me wanna kill myself because they so stupid. I dont mean you btw :) if this was bad english im sorry im german
I feel like people should have the kind of life that works for them. You want extreme equality in your relationship? Cool. You want each other to take on traditional gender roles? Cool. Everybody doesn't have to be the same.
If you pay the bill are you expecting sex afterwards.
“No finance, no romance” She thought everybody was gone clap for her 😂 1:30
She did! LOL
@@missythefabulous3857 , She wasn't going to receive applause from an all male audience.
Relationships are complimentary. If a woman expects me to do everything than what is she adding? Men like to be the provider but we also like to feel appreciated by our women. A woman who expects you to do everything and doesn't even offer, is not a woman but rather a child.
And it just goes to show how the woman isn't independent. If you're an adult you should always be prepared to take care of yourself, not always expect your partner to take care of you. Inequity leads to an unhealthy relationship; the woman should at least offer to help out with the bill. That being said, if the man wants to pay for it then that's fine, but if he thinks that the woman should pay for her meal if she can definitely afford it AND if its a mutual dinner (not the guy asking the girl out). It's just a way of showing appreciation and sympathy for each other really, not using each other.
Yes! Thank you, beautifully put. It blows my mind that some women have this delusion that men should contribute everything to a relationship while they don't have to do jack.
Marcus Hooks I fee the same!!! If woman want equality then we should treat them equality!!!
i completely agree. you explained my feelings so perfectly.
You are right that relationships are complimentary which is the same thing as "asking someone out". If you're not offering a complimentary meal then the person can enjoy their time with someone that is offering that complimentary meal.
It all comes down to the most positive outcome for both parties involved but if she didn't even notice you and wasn't asking for you approach you really shouldn't offer dates that you can't afford.
If these women are as independent as they claim to be then paying their half wouldn't be no problem. These women want equal rights but don't want equal responsibility
Dating is not responsibility. It's courtship.
Jo Montanee have fun being single.
... and deserve equal lefts.
Cherry Blossom Happiness because the mother’s don’t let them be fathers...they tell him his role as a father isn’t valuable and she doesn’t need him, that their children doesn’t need him...in the courts the women gets custody most of the time...etc.
Cherry Blossom Happiness what crowd are you messing with? I’m sorry you’ve had bad experiences, but that’s to be expected when you hang around low hanging fruit
Historically, the reason men pay for the dates is because it is their way of showing a woman that he can and will support you if you are to have a future together which historically, would lead to marriage and more importantly procreation - when the woman would undoubtedly need to be able to count on him.
You make some interesting points, though equal pay for equal work on its face is a no brainer I think. Beyond that, context, as usual, is everything. The clearest example would be a man and woman, who both aspire to have a family someday and date prospectively toward that. When the man pays the check, thus performing the provider role, he signals to the woman that she would be cared for with him. Even if she herself is an earner, when pregnant, she, as most women, will be earning much less, if at all, for several months at least. Remember, paid maternity leave is fairly rare in this country, occurring mostly in higher paying jobs. Even unpaid maternity leave still isn't guaranteed lower waged women. She will therefore, inevitably, have to rely on her husband, thus, a number of women are mindful of this when dating a potential partner.
I get your frustration, I think. No one likes it when they perceive someone is eating their cake and having it too. The thing is, with women in the job market as much as they are, men are the ones actually having it both ways when they expect women to have their babies and raise their babies- an undertaking that overwhelmingly will be the hers- AND be an equal provider/earner AND maintain the home - again, still, another avalanche of work/expectation that will mostly fall on her. Given all of this it can be argued that men want/have it 3 ways.
You'll notice my initial reply spoke to how things mostly still are. You, I believe, are speaking to the way things are changing. I should acknowledge that - so I do. That said, to agree that things are changing does not mean that things have changed. It's a process that we're still in the beginnings of. As it stands, US employers overwhelmingly do not pay for maternity leave. Most men do make more than women holding equal positions. And most women are primarily responsible for child care and housekeeping irrespective of whether they work outside the home as well. To argue that it is possible for a man to take over those responsibilities or for a woman to earn more than a man is an obvious point. I'm not speaking to what is possible. I've been speaking to what is probable. While each of us knows of some others who have a more "modern" arrangement - in other words, anecdotal evidence- it is by definition, not the majority of the evidence. If there is any doubt, research divorce statistics. Conflict over money and household responsibilities top the list as to the causes. Moreover divorce is more so initiated by the wife, which given everything shouldn't surprise anyone.
And to answer your facetious question, historically women, while "courting" don't have to signal that they are earners/providers. They have to signal that they are loyal and nurturers. And, again, historically, that they are desirable and fertile. That's what all the make up women buy is about. The blush, lipstick, mascara and the foundation that hides imperfections mimic youth thus implying fertility.
The nurturer part, of course, signals that once mothers, they will be capable of getting the man's child to reproductive adulthood thereby enabling his genes to continue on.
Gender roles are modernizing indeed, but they're up against our DNA, both individual and social.
The best word, descriptively would be primal. Primal needs or expectations.
The woman in red thought she was gonna get claps for that “no finance, no romance” Lol
You can't expect a man to give you the world when you don't do a thing for him
-Santandave
Where in da world did Steve get this panel from??? The guys are ok but the women. .....EMBARRASSING
ikr lol
I'm just over here laughing because y'all didn't feed the troll! There is hope!
+tmntsuperhiros what troll, i think he is saying the truth although i don't agree about the black part., do you think these men are really truthful about always wanting to pay the bills? so when someone comment on CZcams, and you don't agree with it then its a troll? you are dumb.
+Jide Whesu it's 2015 women have rights and jobs , so women cannot keep telling men to always pay,
+Jide Whesu please speak for yourself.
Whoever asked for the date should pay. You can split in the following dates
I agree.
exactly, I have always said that.
+Mandy X'O-twod Absolutely not, how many women are ever asking guys out on dates, by saying that you may as well say men should pay for the first date.
Agreed. I've asked men on dates and I paid. Some of them refused to let me pay even when I asked them out. And some men do not like when a woman asks them out. Some women don't think they should ask a man out.
agree, if he asks you he pays if you ask him you pay. now in relationships it depends on who is more financially stable to pay more. and those men who want ask a girl out but not pay? say what , that is not attractive and says a lot about your character.
the latino woman just turned me off! her husband better never fall on hard times...smh
He'll get the treatment that my cousin got. His woman left him bcuz he fell on hard times, but, as soon as he got back on his feet she came back. Obviously, he didn't learn that she's all about the Benjamin's. Smdh.
right she gone jump ship
If she loses her job...it okay, If you lose yours, you will be on a timer. She will start looking elsewhere for a provider. Knowing that part of women's nature should tell us to NEVER depend on women in anything.
Javier Gonzalez sad to say it but o agree
it's female nature body. mgtow is the only way to go.
I offer to pay my portion of the bill because I never want to assume, however, I've never been on a date where the man didn't pay. Men are very kind, so ladies, don't forget to say "thank you."
If you’re inviting someone on a date then you should pay for that person.
She invited him out though.
No
It's interesting how "modern Independent Women" still want to be treated like it's the 1950s when it favors them.
That was the comment i was looking for :D
Traditional roles still apply to men but women got to be free from their traditional roles.
@@LGDarksteed traditional role must be applied to women too! They better be making a meal for their man in order to "provide" them with food. Just how men "provide" with paying for a date or whatnot
I do think that it's polite and gentleman like to offer to pay if you are the one to ask a girl out. Because you are the one asking her to accompany you. If it was the other way round the girl should offer. That's just how I see it. And in my experiences the guys that don't offer to pay often are quite selfish disrespectful individuals in general. If we would go to a quite pricey restaurant I would insist on splitting the bill because I wouldn't want to let him pay that much but if we are just getting a coffee somewhere like common...
@@MusicVEVOchannel The problem with that analogy is that women are almost never the ones to ask a man out. So it is pretty much a moot point. Like when you ask your friends "Hey, you want to get something to eat?" Do you buy all your invited friends their meals. Probably not. Even though you are the one that technically invited them out. Now for the coffee. Yes, I can agree with you that paying for someone else's coffee is just fine. Especially for a get to know you sort of date before an actual date.
This is why I don't take a woman out to dinner on the first date. Most of the time the woman is jus there for a free meal.
+Sura Amenra I agree, its best to go someplace social and get to know each other and then figure things out later
+Sura Amenra It shows that you attracted only cheap women. Self-respected women never treat men as free meals.
May be those women didn't give you a second date because they were not that into you.
If you are that low self- esteem to feel robbed, just don't date.
Jo Montanee WOW so if some one is not prepared to PAY FOR YOUR TIME it means they won't get a date? Um.... just look up the definition of prostitution real quick? yeah
On the first date you should be able to determine if a women really likes you or not. If you don't pick up that vibe then you just never see her again
@Josh_Kirbs love the comment!
Observation from this video: The heavier/unattractive women will usually take whatever they can get. The attractive women expect men to pay for dates.
That’s not the right way to look at this g
Also her being heavy doesn’t make her unattractive
@@nahova3167 yes it does
I had the same observation
I just dont like how entitled some women feel. The money aint the problem
he’s “cheap” if he doesn’t pay ?
yet what are you contributing ? exactly ? nothing
It's much cheaper to expect someone else to pay for you than to not pay for someone else.
Exactly what you expect
You ask her out, expect sex. Then say she's not contributing. Don't ask her out if you think you're the only one with something to offer. Date yourself since you're so amazing and women contribute 'nothing'
chantelle r He didn’t say he asked her out, he just criticized a statement she made. You did not debunk the criticism you just told him he shouldn’t date anybody because “women contribute nothing” but, he didn’t say women as a whole. What he said was referring to that specific person; making your argument(if it can even be called that)a strawman fallacy. In addition whenever men make the claim that they are owed sex for their financial contribution they are told that they are not entitled to the woman’s body.
Unless she’s trading sex for the meal bye bye I can do better maybe not hotter but a whole lot better.
A man pays. I asked you out, I pay. I was raised in the south & I'm just a nice guy who benefited from southern hospitality so I know to always be a gentleman with women. I go out with a girl (whether she's my date or just a friend) I'll pay. But when it comes to female friends make sure the actions are always reciprocated. You have to be really careful cause you could be saved in her phone as" free meal Freddie".
I'm born/raised in the south but learning/understanding(5th grade) women's rights changed my views. Everything equal.
@John Do, it sounds like you have a healthy attitude towards women! You understand the value of a good woman but are not a pushover.
zadose I agree.
marciloni12 Steve Harvey said a man should pay for EVERY!!! Date if you have to pay for every date how can you possibly know you aren’t being used?
As a woman, I think it is shocking for some of them to think it is funny to not be fiscally responsible. It's not the 1950's anymore. A man isn't in the relationship with himself. You need to chip in as well. God forbid your husband or fiance were to drop dead tomorrow. How would you take care of yourself and your children. It's not cute to be entitled. I've seen way too many complacent women be put out on the street because they were financially dependent on a man. If a woman doesn't at least offer to pay for half of her dinner then I would consider it a red flag. Both men and women need to be able to take care of themselves financially. You may be in a comfy place now but life happens and you need to know how to take care of yourself. This is a huge red flag.
strawberriesncandii
What you have written will be ignored by females who need to hear this the most. I agree with you that any adult should not be dependent upon another as life will ruthlessly show you. I asked a female about this issue. I was interested in getting to know her better before dating her.I asked her if males should always pay for dates . She said she should never have to pay for anything on a date. I asked her what do you offer in return. She looked at me with the blankets stare I ever saw in a human being. I asked her will he get something from this or should he expect to be exploited? She became visibly upset. She said being with me is enough. I asked her will he be getting sex if he pays for everything? She said he gets to be me and that's all he gets. I laughed at her and said you got to bring something to the table and being with you is not enough. I lost all interest in her and saw her for what she really was which is a parasite
strawberriesncandii will you marry me? 😂
LOL
@@strawberriesncandii am glad to know women with good hearts and fairness still exist
@Cherry Blossom Happiness dead beat dads aren't idolized or celebrated. single moms and financial vampires who exploit guys are.you see the difference?
Nick has a point. If women are truly equal to men in this day and age, then what's stopping them from footing the bill first?
It's because men keep asking women out. If you don't ask women out you don't pay. If you do and she pays then she'll be staring at the guy sitting behind you because you just put yourself in the "friendzone".
Men wouldn't have to ask women out if women played more of an active role in dating but they don't. Women are cheap! That's point blank and period! How many men have you ask out on a date in your life span?
@@StoicBehavioR don't generalise all woman you probably single cause you are every bitter
Idontknowausername Yea typical ass woman response. Gotta love when women play the NAWALT (not all women are like that) and "bitter single man" card, because it's a sin for a man to point out female behavior. I'll ask you the same question. How many men have you ask out on a date and paid for it? Is it counted on a single hand? Or are you just gonna to give me the women shame tactic and say "a real man" pays for the dates..
@@StoicBehavioR I actually have asked a guy out on a date and payed for his ticket aswell. But yeah for the rest it were guys who asked me out who where gentleman and insisted on paying. When dating a guy it's a balance sometimes he pays some times I get the check. I guess it's different per person. If I would be generalising man for example only using woman for sex. You could correct me to because you generalising all woman saying they are cheap makes you sound like disrespectful. And I think it's more the principle then about the money
"This is an investment in my future"
"I'm not a car!"
Yeah, no kidding. Children aren't objects either but they are still investments.
SteelandSouls15 how many first dates end in children? Less than 10%
Run, run far away from those dudes
The woman in red states “no finance, no romance” That sounds like a phase a prostitute would say.
No finance, no romance. She call herself a mother? What she teaching her kids?
Tell me about it. So women fight against gender bias but when it comes to things like these, gender inequality is accepted. Why are women so confused on the definition of the same values they are fighting for.
just like how woman are fighting ti be included into the draft of wait
Don't be cheap. You asked her
Nate Ejobson I agree !!
Nate Ejobson she is a escort lol
there goes the white knights :))
apparently the white knight was black in this one
booty call911 :)) no finance no romance are you kidding me? 70% of the women thought that and most of the men a few wanted to split the bill
+Codrin Vechiu wtf are you talking about? you said the white knight... I simply stated that the white knight was actually black in this video.. so I'll try to say it nicely... wtf are you on about?
watch the video
+Codrin Vechiu I did watch it, what you said has nothing to do with what I said
Honestly, I dont think the latino deserves all this backlash for her views. We have to keep in mind that she is pretty traditional, she is a stay at home mother and had expressed her views against women sleeping with multiple men. If she expected the man to pay, she also took up that traditional role of a housewife.
The same views would've been a problem coming out from the mouth of some feminist.
"No finance, No romance". Gold digger alert. Where's my shovel?
Lmao😂😂
The issue that most men have with, "If he asks me out then he should pay" is that many women will NEVER ask a guy out just so she doesn't have to pay, and if he's not doing it they'll never go out together. Men don't mind paying. It's more so a woman's sense of entitlement that irks us. Not all women do this of course, but more than many care to share!
I agree that women shouldn't feel ENTITLED to the man paying, yes. Just like the man shouldn't feel entitled to sex. Neither of us should feel entitled to anything. We'd all do a lot better to just have more humility and appreciation.
@@gaby5546 agreed
No finance, no romance! Wow! I don't know if I should laugh or not!
It's reminds me of "no glove no love" and I often think if a man asking a woman out can't even afford the meal then he probably can't afford condoms either which just guarantees sex is off the table. I mean what would happen if something went wrong? I would hate to be in a situation with "that guy".
ladya5 That's actually what prostitutes say.
This is why some men are separating from women altogether. Some women feel like they must be treated as a queen in order for the relationship to work, which is stupid. Personally, since this is how I was raised, I'll pay for the first meal and open doors for you, but I won't pay for every meal, and I think the car door thing is too excessive (unless it's a fancier date) because I understand that relationships are mutual.
Damn that.....I can cook, clean, do my own laundry, and EVERYTHING else. What I won't do is be a sucka who constantly tricking off.
"women provide in other ways..."
So you saying you'll sell yo ass for a meal? If that's tha case, I know 10 women who'll smash for a blunt and 20 women who'll do it for free.
If a dude gotta pay every time, he doing it wrong....step ya game up bro...
TommyTucker timeless comment.
I insisted on paying for a first dat I went on but the guy wont let go so I was like owkaay so next date is on me! (we had a great date obviously )
So how is that for being independent and nice. I think guys would like to be treated "nice " as well!
so few likes how sad . women like you are rare and romance will died within 10 years. look at all relationship magazines, psychologist and tv show. the idea i s only the womans happiness matters.the man is just a means to and end .
🥰 exactly
@That Guy that girl was giving a tutorial to men on how to stay away from women like her. But honestly it also makes me think she does meet men who are ready to pay her rent and meals and stuff . Its impossible not to know that this woman is using you and yet some men go along with it( for sex with a beautiful woman) what do you think?
@That Guy yeah I am from India so there is a long way to go before men step up as well. Now its more like so women are getting education and becoming independent but they still have to do all the household chores ALONE as well. So its like we are doing double the work. Anyways I agree with things getting better in terms of equality , market for such women will shrink. And they will have to work equally hard and be a good human being to earn any kind of respect. :)
Women should NEVER expect men to pay for their meal you BOTH decided to go on a date, so you BETTER pay your way!!!!
I agree.
Fully agree as well
@Cherry Blossom Happiness Still single huh?
@Blue Finally Gets A Clue You need Jesus friend :)
@Cherry Blossom Happiness Right! And women should never ask men out. They are supposed to be providers.
its ridiculous that where having these discussions while mens rights are being stripped away from them.
+chris codling Rights being stripped away from men? What rights have you lost?
vecelche take a look at custody laws and all your questions will be answered
+chris codling Chris do you also hear Crickets?
+chris codling a custody battle can go either way so you don't have a point
+Miya Edwards if that is the case than why so many women are getting the kids while the men are left to foot the bill? You know the laws are screwed in favor of the woman. What happens to a woman when she wants to abort her child? Is she off the hook in the eyes of the courts? of course she is but let that man express how he feels about not wanting a child. Of course he isn't off the hook in he eyes of the feminist family laws. Women have all the rights while men rights are being stripped aways concerning his kids or his right to right abandon his responsibility if a kids wasn't what he wanted in the first place.
At the age of 20 I learned if the lady likes you, it doesn't matter who pays. If she doesn't like you, then she'll expect you to pay each and every time. I once tested 3 ladies with this exact same line "Hey we should go to the movies tonight, but I don't have any money right now".
1st response was "Well you shouldn't ask people to go out if you don't have money".
2nd response was "I don't have any money either, let's do something else that doesn't involve money"
3rd response was "That's fine let's go, I'll pay, and we'll get food after too because I'm hungry".
Needless to say I knew the 1st broad wasn't for me lol. It's not to hard to figure out what a woman is about.
Nice, first you call them LADIES, but you refer to the one that didn’t fall for your tactics BROAD!
So are you announcing your upcoming wedding to the 3rd LADY? Well, Congratulations!? Lmao
I'm sorry but this isn't true. If you were 20 and broke most women know this and don't make a big deal out of it. That's ok when you're still living off of daddy's salary as you were probably living at home with your parents. If you had a job then yeah she's going to think something is off with you not being able to pay for a meal. Again it's the same with sex. Women don't typically enjoy sex with guys in their 18-early 20s. It's absolutely dreadful really but she will not tell you because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
5:29 'I was raised to be independent' he a fool for that 😂😂
I think he meant "independent" as in " alone".
When joe said split the bill every woman was shooting him daggers
Ladies, be aware of another trend that’s out there. If you’re out and about walking, grabbing coffee or shopping and some man approaches you, don’t give him your time. Men will approach you and pretend like it’s a DATE already, asking all kinds of questions and trying to have a conversation. A respectable man will simply say hello, I understand your time is important, may I give you my #, I’d really like to get to know you? If you’re not interested say no and don’t let him waste your time. Or just take his number and think about later. I know sometimes it’s a good way to meet men but we shouldn’t be giving our valuable time to complete strangers. Know your boundaries
As a man I'm ok with paying and I'm ok with her paying and I'm ok with splitting but I hate when a woman expects me to pay. If you want equality then you have as much responsibility to pay as men
I would rather pay tho
Same man, I'm fine with paying but if the woman doesn't even try to be helpful in a relationship and just takes it for granted then i'm not going to date that kind of person. Also, men tend to pay for the majority of the mortgage, bills etc so if I'm struggling with money and the woman is earning/has more money than me i do expect help to keep the relationship equal ya know. I feel as though once you've settled into a relationship it's completely fine for the partners spilt the bill into some kinda proportion, but I would still offer to pay if i could as it is gentlemen-like
Carlos Felix if you asked me out then you gotta pay.sorry,not that am stingy,I was only raised to recognize gentlemen and their ways
Sparks well ya if i ask you out then ill pay but if you ask me out and ask me to pay thats kinda not cool
Carlos Felix well of course.whoever asks gotta pay.on the first date at least
I can debunk this with a simple rule: Whoever asks the person on the date is paying.
Later in the relationship when the money is shared than it doesn't matter who pays.
When me and my boyfriend move in together we decided after going over finance that his money will go toward bills and stuff like that and my money will go towards pleasure things like going out to eat. So I will be paying the check and I have no problem with that and neither does he because it shows that we're each doing our part :)
I personally think it's best to go dutch.
on this first date ESPECIALLY if he asked YOU out, no... Dates after that i think thats ok
+Courtney U know the majority of the time a man is going to ask.
Jessi I applaud u.
Yes ma'am!
I personally go dutch when I eat ALONE as does anyone that is out having dinner by themselves.
Woman: "I'm a strong independent woman"
Woman: " the man needs to be the provider" well that's an oxymoron
NO it isn't. Everyone is is independent to a certain degree. That just means that you can survive on your own if NEED BE. Point is if you're approaching a woman you're telling her you want something from her. You're essentially trying to convince her that she doesn't NEED to be INDEPENDENT. If that's not what you're saying then why stop her at all?
GoddessBlueYozakura You are telling her she needs to be independent that’s you saying you are attracted to her and would like to see if you two are compatible. I can’t have kids because of a injury I got in combat so a woman that gets with me has no excuse to be at home because there are no kids to take care of.
but how much do u actually care about someone on the first date? most first dates dont work out regardless if i pay. so y am i stuck with the bigger bill for a failed date? if that's not a double standard then idk what is
@Blue Finally Gets A Clue Reading comment like this can convince beta men not to pay... If you want to escort it up, why would you leave a message like this? it hurts your cause
Blue Finally Gets A Clue That’s exactly why first dates should be free and second dates should be coffee that way a man can separate the women who are actually into him vs the woman who don’t give a rats ass about him and are just looking for a free meal. My goal is to find a significant other not to feed a bunch of random. You at least have to agree with that. But yeah once I see that it’s actually me she wants to spend time with and that she just isn’t out to use me then yes I have no problem paying for all the dates. Only AFTER I’ve had a chance to gage her interest level.
It’s funny how women’s advice for guys dating them is completely different than the advice they give their sons about women. 🤦🏽♂️
@@Jambuc829 No your problem is that you're being lazy and you're doing the numbers game with QUANTITY not QUALITY. If you're asking out a bunch of RANDOMS as you say then that's your fault. No I don't do coffee dates either. The minute a guy asks me that I think "eww" lame. See men that ask me out for coffee want FACE TO FACE ATTENTION. No one deserves that kind of time from me as a "random" especially being cheap. Any man that has ever asked me out for "coffee" has always been a creep. I decline the offer because I don't even drink coffee and he usually keeps contacting me where he can't hold a decent conversation to save his life. If it's not clear I enjoy a conversation and I'm up for a myriad of discussions. My point is a coffee place isn't the place. It feels bland, empty, unimaginative and COLD. You want to take a woman out to something fun and pleasant and bring up a good mood. I just told this guy that wanted to take his date out for "coffee" to burn that idea and throw it in the trash but maybe take her out to a new Gelato shop or maybe Froyo Spot! It's like the food you eat that makes you smile even when you don't want to! Coffee? I feel like I should start working on my taxes or something! Absolutely depressing!
those two black man tho #madRespect!
They been raise well.
yea right
+Deadpool Mrstealyourgirl umm...i am muslim girl so NO it doesn't benefit me in any way cause i don't date.
not tryna be racist but are you white man?
lol
+Deadpool Mrstealyourgirl i am not saying men and women are not equal, but based on old/classic culture men have always been the providers and protectors for women, so it also has to do with the respect and manners when it comes to paying the bill.
+Deadpool Mrstealyourgirl Don't try to validate the cheapness with equal rights. PLEASE.
+Deadpool Mrstealyourgirl U know. I was raised the same, but, when I learned about women's rights, 5th grade, the traditional roles went out the door.
The title of this video should be, "more reasons for men to go mgtow".
they threw literally LOADS of red pills in this video alone!
This is part of the reason the dinner first date should be abolished.
+Naturelle_D AGREED
My first date, either I cook a light but filling meal(I don't want the women to be too full not to have sex, lol) or we go dutch. Do u have to guess what the women chose?
T J lol
The first date I ever went on was to an ice skating rink. Cost 16 dollars for the two of us and it was way more memorable than a dinner date that might've cost more. Coffees good too for a first date. Just 6 or so dollars
@mavishill yes men always like to have a few gfs, if every date go dutch then guy can afford a few gfs. thank you for acknowledgement
I dress well, I put my makeup on, I got to the hairdresser, I do the the beutician for facial cleaning, waxing, nails and more... I arrive presentable and impeccable, because I respect him and myself .... and I also have to pay for the dinner? HELL NO!
Paying for a dinner or anything else in my opinion shows that a man is interest in you and he want to impress you.
As women we impress men with our presence, our beauty, our femininity (men are visual) and men instead impress with acts of kindness, good manners and surprises. Paying for a dinner or whatever is an act of kindness and respect for me.
My BF pays for our dates most of the time, but sometimes, I say to him babe it’s my treat this month and I pay . And it works for us :)
500thoughtsofmorgan that’s perfect... but there woman that want the guys to pay every time ...
That’s your BF we talking about strangers on a date.
I hope 100 % of that audience also think its fair that guys earn more money
Why? Are you planning on paying for first dates for the rest of your life??
zadose So a man is judged on how much money he makes and a woman is judged on her looks? Must be nice. It’s much easier to work out and have a sexy body than it is to have great earning potential in this dog eat dog world.
Also look what woman here is married.
Simple: whoever invites is expected to pay.
I don't invite if I don't have money for both of us. Period.
That's also dumb as sht tho. It's an invite, you're not forcing them to come. If you invite someone and they say "can't, I'm broke." -then- you can say "I got you." If you would rather spend time with them than have that $. But otherwise, a grown woman is going to pay for herself.
Split the bill on a first date! That guy is crazy I will pretend I want to go to the bathroom and get out of there so fast. lol
Delisa Orr I can pay for that date that’s fine I have a good job so it’s not big deal at all. But how do I know when I’m being used? My phone was saved in a woman’s number as “free food”
"You better pay that bill or you are cheap"
It's pretty cheap not paying anything haha!
Just randomly...."lets go out...dinner is on me..."that would make any guy happy
That's for husbands and long time boyfriends not random dudes.
i would take the bill but i hate how SOME women feel like they deserve this and that or we owe them something. like it would make us feel good too if you look out for us. Like this goes back as far as the playground why does the lil boy always has to say he likes the girl first or all the rest of the stages in life why do women feel like we have to ask them out or ask them to prom. I guarantee you if your a girl and you ask a man out if he's not just a jerk the fact that you actually asked him out will make his response a whole lot better
BigTwill0218 its because of how things were back then.
Him: "I think a split is fine"
Her: "Bye!"
Him: "That Single Mother title really makes sense now"
Ya they all say they’re raised to be independent but still expect you to pay and their excuse is that they’re worth it.. then what the hell does that make men worth. Let’s just say this is a truly equal world where men feel the bill should be split. If the woman has an issue with it stating you should pay for me and he decides to leave then whose paying for your entitled high horse riding ass then hmm? You don’t look at a random man and expect him to pay when you eat alone do you? Then why should you when both gave up their time to be there which should be enough to tell you hey I’m interested but not gullible
I like how the single mother said... Na na na when the guy said about spliting the bill. That's why her ass is a single mother 😂
No she learned as she probably struggled alone with that bastard child!
Such an interesting segment! 2015 is the year when all the traditional gender roles that we've been taught to abide by are being challenged.. and its always nice to gain different perspectives. Im only 19 but I still think the guy should pay on the first date, unless its a casual lunch or something.
Buying someone a meal that you asked out makes the woman a prostitute? Where does that make any sense?
Look if you're strapped for cash perhaps you shouldn't ask people to go out with you in the first place. Seriously?
GoddessBlueYozakura Even women who are strapped for cash shouldn't be going out in dates anyway then.
@GoddessBlueYozakura Someone saying you are not having sex with me unless you spend money. This is exactly what hookers say and it’s also exactly what the Latina was alluding to.
Lady in the yellow dress gunna be that crazy cat lady you see in here front yard yelling at the Elementary kids
I think the women are missing the point. There is an obligation placed on the woman, if a man pays. If you take a man's money, you are expected to provide value for money in the form of him enjoying himself.
That doesn't mean sex, but if he doesn't get value for his money, there isn't going to be a second date. What is more, all his friends are going to know that she doesn't provide value for money.
If he takes you to a 5-star restaurant, that means dressing up so that he isn't ashamed to be seen with you. Making him feel special, not minding if he looks at your body, making him feel good about himself, and making the conversation enjoyable for him are expected, at a minimum.
If you feel that is demeaning, or unbecoming in some way, then pick up the check. Don't agree to a social transaction, that you aren't willing to fulfill.
+TheToledoTrumpton THANK YOU exactly! That's why I insist on splitting the bill especially on the first date. I don't want to leave him with the impression that I OWE him anything, even if it's just my attention
This is what created the "split the check or pay your own way" but the problem with this is that many guys now are complaining about being "friend zoned" as in the woman paid for her meal but she's just not interested in him at all.
@GoddessBlueYozakura
The "friend zone" is petty excuse you're using to benefit your argument. To be put in the "friend zone" that would mean a woman accepts a mans calls and hangs out with him. If woman is not interested she wouldn't accept calls or texts from that said man further breaking all ties from them.
@Blue Finally Gets A Clue There is no such thing as a platonic male friendship.. Your "platonic male friends" wanted to sleep with you. So it's a one sided friendship.
When you want a man to be your friend, you view at him as your girlfriend. He's accepts it because he's a blue pilled man or a beta male orbiter in hopes to one day have his turn with you.. All that paragraph writing was worthless and I didn't read it all only a few sentence where it revealed that your were a female.. That's all I needed to know.
I'm not a prostitute. I enjoy it immensly when I get treated, but I for sure don't expect it. I see it as a very nice bonus. I don't have the greatest finances, but I'm prepared to pay for myself at least. But I won't object if he insists. I can't afford paying for both too much though.
I'd imagin _expecting_ the guy to pay to be a HUGE turn-off for a guy. Appreciating something nice done for you, and demanding it done for you, are two entirely different things.
On the first dates..
If the woman doesn't offer to split the bill.. she is tought wrong.
If the man doesn't pay the bill.. he is tought wrong.
The woman should always offer to atleast split the bill. If you don't, the man is gonna feel like he has to pay for your time.
That will make him lose interest, cause that tells us that you value your time more than ours.
What if the guy pay for his meal and drink and the girl pay foer hers and if they share anything (bottle of Wine) they split that 50/50.
That sounds like two friends getting together not a date but platonic friends are great too so that's always fun!
I live in Sweden.
Well must admit that does sound like a lot better than what gold diggers expect
so in your definition a date is a free meal voucher ?
@GoddessBlueYozakura
Why are you entitled to a free meal? Lets be real, the first date is basically the interview process of whether both parties are going to go further. So it would be a appropriate for both parties to pay for his and her meal.(separately)
It looks like men want to get to know women and women come along with expectations ALREADY. Expecting to eat. There is taking a woman out and there is asking someone you do not know to meet you. For the first friggin time. And yet you might not want to see her again. So she cost you, and how much does that add up to if you go out on 3 dates per month?
I feel whoever asks someone out should pay. Since we men initiate most of the time we're expected to pay, so I would only ask to go on a date when I'm physically & emotionally interested and have a feeling she is too. If the first date goes well & I'm still interested I offer to pay and if she offers to split back & means it she's a keeper.
Been with my current girlfriend for a year now after we met & it's been great to be honest. She did exactly what happened above. Very honest, never thought I'd find someone like that.
When it comes to men I’ve noticed there are two different types of daters.
1. Preselect daters. These are men like you who will go on dates with women that they have already invested interest in. They have already gone over questions that could be deal breakers and have build a rapport with a woman BEFORE the first date. They do all this because they hate to waste their time going out on a date just to find out they aren’t compatible. These type of daters fear wasting their time the most they don’t mind spending money because they already like the girl they are on a date with.
2. Mass daters. These are the guys who schedule several dates with several woman. They don’t like to get to know women over the phone and prefer face to face interactions only. They feel like you get to know someone more in person than over the phone. They prefer low or no cost first dates because paying for dinner would be a big waste of money as they are dating four or five other women in the same month. They fear wasting a bunch of money just to find out that all the dates they lined up didn’t work out.
These two type of daters both feel the way the other dater does things are weird. Mass daters scuff at the idea of paying for dates because that would get insanely expensive fast. Preselect daters say well do a better job of vetting your dates BEFOREHAND so you aren’t wasting your time with a random woman.
I say these two types of daters shouldn’t worry about how the other types date and should just focus on what works for them and the women they are out with.
I consider myself a mass dater. I’m the same when it comes to car shopping I want to test drive a few options before I start investigating my money.
Edit: you must understand also for us mass daters spending a bunch of money on a date is like spending money to test drive a vehicle. Maybe I loved the way a certain car looks but hate the way it handles I love that I can find that out for free.
I am independent, raised by an independent single mother. But, that does not mean I'm a machine and don't appreciate a man's doting or support. We ask men to be gentlemen and when they try, some of us bash them over the head with I'm independent, I got this! Let him be the man unless you want a son or a project. You won't know what kind of man you have and if you really like him as such if you don't let him step up.
On a first date, I would pay no problem so I don't make it awkward( I won't invite her if I can't pay) but I will remember that she didn't offer to contribute and I would just say bye after dinner. When a woman makes a move to pay or split the bill, what she is telling you is " I don't need your money, I'm here because I want to and I am interested in your personality ", in other words, she is giving you something to respect and that creates trust. When she doesn't. what she is saying is " I am better than you, my time is more important than yours so you have to pay for it and be my servant if you want to be in a relationship with me".
Torp Torp That’s why first dates should be coffee.
"When she said she had 20 partners, he damn near stood up" I laughed until my sides hurt.
Also, Juanita- I'm afraid that you are more bounded as a trophy wife, someone who always looks good for her husband and is always the one watching the kids. She probably has a group of housewives that sit together and talk about how hard their husbands works while they sit on their ass. If her husband even shows one weak moment, or God forbid makes her pay for something, she might as well just dig her own grave! This woman is ridiculous😂
so when two lesbians go on a date who pays then? the waiter?
First date or couple of dates, Man pays. It's a given. Long term relationship it can go either way. If you got years invested then it doesn't matter at that point but it should never get to the point where the woman is paying on a regular basis. Still need to remain a Gentleman.
Edward Greene I am actually getting annoyed with comments like yours, WHY DO YOU EXPECT MEN TO PAY FOR WOMEN WHILE THE WOMEN JUST DOES NOTHING, MEN ARE NOT JUST FREE MEALS FOR WOMEN
crazy crazy crazy and then steve with the truth bomb!
To me the first date should be casual; coffee, park, county fair, somewhere that you can talk and do something fun. It should never feel like a job interview. Pay your way unless he insists. If you are not interested don't let him pay. I never want anyone to leave a date with me and think I am unkind, or entitled.
...Just do it like we do it in The Netherland: Dutch treat. Split the bill, and klaar is kees!
that bkack dude just trying to show off to the girls in there lol
I’m genuinely curious *Exactly* “what other ways” women take care of men in a relationship? 🤔
They don't
Complex Ez sex goes both ways, pal
4.21 She looks like... ''Emmm, what way ?'' hahahahah
Whoever asked who out on the date SHOULD BE PAYING THE BILL!!! Why is this even a damn discussion??!
yes. court me or we not talking. if we are in an relationship, thats different. now we have an understanding and i would love to organise fun things and pay for it. but he still has to take care of me or at least want to take care of me.
take care of you? Sounds like a child-like mentality.
It should be the other way around.
Dont spend money on a first date.......it takes money out of the equation and makes it about getting to KNOW the other person.....problem solved
Uh I hate that woman in the red dress. SMH!
What does race have to do with anything?? Just because she has that mind set, doesn't mean it's due to race....
zadose Standards? Those aren’t standards they are demands. Because a man who has a good job and matches her looks is standards.
All black men are real men 😍😍
If my future husband will take care of me then I'm ready to take care of him for sure
I really like to be treated as woman 😊
by take care of i hope you mean more than sex cause that isnt a benefit to the man but a bonus for both people .too few women contribute anything to a relationship lately besides sex
@@craigclermond8001 oh I saw your comment after one year 😂😂 yes for sure its not about sex only because I was raised in traditional family so if he is good to me I will do whatever he likes and wants ❤❤
the girl in the hot pink dress sound like cardi b😂
If the man must always pay and take care of the woman, that tells you right there that women or just overgrown kids because children are the only species who can't do for themselves and expect you to but a grown person and today's age, it can't always be on the man. I believe the man should pay for the first date or the first couple of dates but not every time
a girl actually paid the bill for me. :D i feel really good about that even 3-4 years later.
Feminist need “Betas”, Women need Alphas!! Short n’ sweet!
My mom always told me when a man asks me out on a date, he should pay. If it's a casual hang out of two friends then hey let's split the bill.
TVHaLL12 that’s what your mom told you but what will you tell your son?
Look for the men whom has no problem providing financially. Look for the women whom want to split bills 50/50. Why not ask these questions before both parties decides to date. Let us be honest on the 50/50 relationships usually one partner is giving 80.
Paying on the first date is symbolic. Man pays shows: manners, respect, altruism, selflessness, social consciousness & awareness
What do women show on their first date's then, also how is paying respect?
+ashbringer36. I am hoping the woman that accepted my date offer will: show her qualities, her interests, what makes her laugh, what she cares about, what she enjoys, etc. Every woman deserves a man respecting her: wishes, space, social status/position, honor, decisions
Blond Italiano, cucked into oblivion.
So what has women got to offer for the money he is spending on her. Free sex whenever he wants ?
If I pay for the dates, I expect to come home with the house clean, dinner ready, and you to sleep with me. If I pay then I own you. If we split the bills, then I expect nothing but equality. If we split the bill we are partners in this relationship.
I don't pay. If I have to pull out my wallet you won't get a second date.
But if the date didn’t go well and we don’t like each other there won’t be a second date anyway so pay for you food and get the hell out of my face.
That was how he was raised...
I was raised that A women that dont & wont go Dutch is not worth you time....
Steve Harvey is the best !!!