Patton Oswalt: “My Inner Child Doesn’t Feel Like Chopping Wood Today” - Full Special
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- čas přidán 17. 11. 2022
- Patton Oswalt gripes about watching old movies in L.A., remembers buying weed at a coffee shop in Amsterdam and reveals why he got thrown out of the Anne Frank House.
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Original airdate: August 14, 1999
About Comedy Central Presents:
These half-hour specials showcased some of the best up-and-coming comedians of the moment. The show was a pivotal stepping stone for many of today’s stand-up stars, including Dave Chappelle, Patton Oswalt, Amy Schumer, Jim Gaffigan, Kevin Hart, Zach Galifianakis, Dane Cook, Bill Burr, Wanda Sykes and Maria Bamford.
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In the sixth grade for some reason every day our math teacher would read the obituaries out loud to the class. I'll never know what the hell that was all about.
Hopeless romantic
Dude was a serial killer
That’s Werid
Reminding you that your time will run out. And you got to spend a lot of it sitting in class learning about how government works (and then growing up and finding out it just doesn’t)
Love that! To the kids:
Do the math, you will all die eventually, it's just simple math! Ha ha ha! Sweet Dreams!
The irony of his ‘phantom wife’ comment is heart breaking.
At least it's not a rhino
Also saying he was like Templeton the Rat was oddly prophetic. Ratatouille.
Young Patton is incredibly funny. It's bitter sweet when he talks to his imaginary wife.
This guy's mayonnaise delivery was so good. He's got such a talent.
he sounds exactly like Morty
There are some comedians where your like “Yeaa I can see him being funny in a social setting but as a stand-up comedian!?? Ehhh not so much.” Not Patton. He was created and BORN to be a stand-up comedian. He’s one of the greatest of all time.
Ah, gotta love old Patton, before the world was dark enough to actually appreciate his style of comedy.
Except for Robin Williams, all comics cease to be funny with age.
Patton Oswalt was hysterically funny when starting out.
"like templeton the rat from charlotte's web" - Ratatouille just got a whole lot darker
"He loves life, he won't let go"
ha ha ha!
19:24 i cannot stop weazing laughing at this
It made me remember the time I was in Amsterdam, 1981, when pot was just starting to move out of the bars and into the coffee shops. In the bars, patrons would roll their own "joints". They would mix a gram with a large amt of tobacco, and it was a thing to pass around. Ppl would hold on to it for a while before passing it on. Also, they would fashion a "filter" from the cardboard of a matchbook. It was held it your hand in a way that your mouth did not touch it.
When I rolled an American style joint, it got some funny looks.
Ah the sixth grade, the age when the prettiest girl in school was still your math teacher.
English teacher for me.
Reminds me, I need to give Miss Lawless a call..
Yeah Mr Loomis was hot. He clearly worked out
I like how the audio is so quiet on the official comedy Central channel lmao
I saw Patton back in 2019. He was so hilarious. It was unreal seeing Spence Olchin from the King of Queens show.
That show is underrated and still smacks
King of Queens was pretty good
I adore this guy.
I saw him about a year ago. It's amazing seeing him back when he was younger than I am now.
Hello everyone enjoy your day
u have a BETTER day casey 🫶🏽
One of my all time favorites. Patton
the fact that htis is from 1999 but most of the jokes are still completely relevant is bot hilarious and a bit unsettling.
I luv how he tells the cameraman to "GTFO" in the intro..!! xD
The joke and title of the special just shreds me everytime I think if it. The context of the narrative just adds to the line.
70s SF Bay Area kid here...I've prolly heard "inner child" yada yada yada a few thousand times at this point. I've even said it myself. Predictably, The Man came the very next day and tore up my man card. 👍
Bastids.
Now, what have we learned?
This guy is funny af in reno 911 as dungeons boy rofl True funny
The headling out to see him in Dallas tonight. I love this guy
Big Papa Patton general of peace and hope thru laughter. Thanks for the laugh medicine for eons
4:18 "They'll bring their bullsh--"
🫨🫨🫨 Patton Oswalt is my all-time favorite comedian in the world and I've never seen or heard him curse in all my life... until now! 🤣🤣🤣
And don't forget the screaming!
What? He curses like a sailor. Are you a new fan?
@@eamon2please Damn right, I am!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
15:48 "HAPPY EASTER AND BITE MY WRINKLY ****!!!!!!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Most knowledge is forbidden unless. All ready taken and given.
He's probably my favorite comedian....and you know he's good because I mainly disagree with his political beliefs, but you can't deny FUNNY.
Shows how much times have changed that he was bragging about weed that apparently had seeds in it. 😅
Apparently this was originally aired on my third birthday lol. It's crazy how well it holds up today.
"SKY CAKE..!!"
Wow, baby Patton
I don't Wanna Die 😂🎉 but you get Tired 😩
Home boy is on point.
he is so funny
Super funny
I used to love his material and cry and laughter. I don’t know ifs me or just him and this material. Anyone reading this know some things we don’t??
SLATHERED, Bernie.
Oh, Patton, if only you knew you could have the Amsterdam experience just down the street from your house in 20 years
4:05 This was around the time that inspired SILVER SCREEN FIEND.
I only know him because of ratatouille and Minecraft story mode😭
You know what character you should be? Cupid. Still in Amherst.
Patton's cancer joke is very similar to Norm McDonnel's cancer joke.
Well this was taped in 1999, so make if that what you will
@@clawabidingcitizen Norm's special came out in 2011. Although he could have been telling that joke for years. 2 of my favorite comedians but they are very close in the premise.
I’m sure if he copied Patton it was subconsciously and not intentional.
It was an Onion article first I think
The blade joke. Was it foreshadowing?
We've been too the Dolphin Coffeeshop!
good thing he got a tv gig
Wonder who plays bass on the outro theme. James Genus?
8:15 Had to pause to check out Supergras, am now down the rabbit hole. I bet the rest was funny tho
The OG Justin Roiland Morty voice
He was ahead of his time. The crowd just didn't get it. Over their heads.
January 10 is my birthday, that's hillarious
I finally figured it out! Patton is just a tall midget. He's so cute waving his short little arms around. Adorable!
I want to hear him talk about Star Wars.
If I looked like a Picasso painting, I might consider self-harm as well.
"Starbucks liberalism" is now a term I am going to use
I think God gave us laughter to remind us to not take life so seriously...chill out and relax....don't try to carry the world on your shoulders 😉❤️
Why do you think God gave us child cancer?
@@coletrickle1775 cause he's God 😂
17:00
My best friend was that person who hated to laugh.
I see Jesse is doing well in beacon town.
The sound mixing for this is incredibly low
Literally everything posted to CZcams by Comedy Central.
@@clawabidingcitizen unfortunately you're right. I'll still point it out though
Ooof the sound quality..
HEY IT'S JESSE!!! 🤩⭐
Oswalt the man child
😄💯👍
Hi Jesse (from mcsm)
Judging by the build, the clothes, and the haircut, I'd say it's a hobbit.
He just turned 30 here, wow
I'm now older than he was when he recorded this and I don't know how to feel about it lol
🎈
Ah, his spectral wife...
its jesse
Perhaps the doctors hoped that him having to grow a nose upside down on his forehead for an entire year ffs...
...would have inticed him to change his mind...because who would ever accept such a thing..!?
"Well, if you're gunna be dumb...you gotta be tough..!!"
Oh MyY gOsH ItS Guy frOm MinEcRAfT sTorY mODe11!!
Patton got away with murder
Damn Patton looks 12 in this vid.
I just want to know when this was originally released because norm macdonald had avery similar joke about cancer.
1999
Pat,
You gotta know that you can say no, you, (respectfully) a-sexual promoter you.
Love ya, yo boy
But it is tho
CNN..... 😄😄 Bernie, theyre wheeling the sandwiches in...there is no mayonaise...whew
Those comments about his wife …
I'm 6 feet tall and never been stoned.
It's odd how quaint this routine sounds now. TV somehow got a whole lot better AND a whole lot worse since then.
Dr Lesterman. I'm sorry to bother you but i think i'm close to a temper control incident.
All I can hear is Remy.
ᵖʳᵒᵐᵒˢᵐ 😑
The top story Anne Frank and her family lived in was gigantic. There's no way any person with eyes didn't see that full on apartment with big windows. She also died of the Typhus Plague as accounted by many witnesses in the camp she was in. Can anyone name that camp? 200 bonus points in it for you!!!!
Go touch grass
I see where Tom Segura got his stand up from.
Except Patton dosent hate the poors
I love Patton, generally, but he got a little dark in this one for my taste. Nobody cares, right?
He needs to Paus and rethink his life!,,,,,,,hee hee!
Yfu for that
Swing and a miss.
I will say he's absolutely spot on about liberals watching old movies and the type of person our ancestors had to be in order to conquer this country.
If you study forest succession, after a fire or other clearing, the first plants to move in are very different than the eventual much taller and more longer lived plants, such as the white oak trees used for bourbon barrels. Each has its purpose and time, and all are important for something. If things change so they are useless, it is extinction time.
@@jeffruebens8355 There is a lot to unpack in your very well worded comment my friend.
I think in reality there is a middle ground. You can't be wimpy to found a country, but you also don't have to be a sociopath, which is what a lot of conservatives believe.
@@waitselljones8068
There IS a middle ground.
Unfortunately greed, selfishness, racism, sexism, homophobia, fear of the unknown/different and the desire to be in control of everything and everyone is the problem.
And that's not a political statement, that's just my observation of how much simpler life could be for everyone if they all just chilled the heck out and treated each other with the same respect and love that they feel they're entitled to.
Personally, I think he bombed....or the audience wasn't feeling his vibe. Awkward set.
Vitano. Saint Michael is present now. In Jesus Christs name we pray amen.
Whatever you say, crazy pants.
Patton Oswalt was never 30 years old. Quit lying, Patton.
Wow. He ends with a suicide joke.
Here, today, Pat would probably not see this performance as his best.
Remember this guy apologized for a photograph with Dave Chappelle, his Supposed friend.
Remember you're a bigot though.
isnt Patton Oswalt a huge liberal?
He's probably more progressive than Starbucks liberal
Nope. Liberal is center right these days. He's left.
Doesn't mean he can't put stuff in a historical context. As he's saying, you can't apply late 20th/early 21st Century PC on an 1950s John Wayne movie set in the 1870s.
Is this comedy? Nobody is laughing.
I luaghed the whole time, Maybe your angry sad black heart lost what funny is?
@@edition-deluxe *laughed
@@jewbego5323 angry black sad heart, you know that was comedic gold, right bruh!?? Hahahahahhahhhhaahahhaa
@@edition-deluxe Patton Oswalt killed his spouse
@@jewbego5323 WHAT??
.... Hey look it's that short guy that Keven James carried around on his show. A second rate Shadow rider
I can't even imagine being as butthurt as you are. Yikes.
Patton was funny, but that crowd sucked.
Not funny.
I see why they only gave him 20 minutes. It was for OUR benefit.
LOL
Where's yours?
It's kinda weird to hear Patton talk about his distain for LA liberalism when he's kind of the embodiment of that now. He became the thing he hated.
Nah. He's just Patton. I don't think his bit about the Anne Frank was an endorsement of neonazis...
You've become what you hate.
@@jamescovan8853 damn, I became soggy fajitas?! This is a dark day 😔
He still rips on it plenty though.
But he literally said "if I had settled this country we'd all be dead by now"
Gotta eat buddy
Hack