One of the hardest things is to know when to let go, because I always feel like "maybe I'll just wait for a little bit longer and he might change his mind." And that rarely happens.
It hurts to like someone who doesn't like you back when you shared your time with them and become eluded. Im in so much pain right now.... I will get over it i have to get over it i need to..
Please start a small exercise regimen You don’t gotta kill it,but even a walk, or calisthenics, it was the only thing that helped me, didn’t cure me but helped a lot
@@fleadoggreen9062 Thank you, i might give some feedback and thanks for all the people who have shown support. Things ended eventually and i finally took the courage and moved on, better thing i could have done find someone who does love you back, if you chase someone who does not love you it's better to be alone in my opinion. When you find the right one you will know! I did start calisthenics and running left the gym due to the pandemic :)
It's the worst. It happened to me a few years back I fell in love with a friend who I knew didn't see me in that way but I let it go on until I became frustrated in an outburst which made my feelings clear and then she made things clear. I went through over a year of the deepest depression and heartbreak. Worse than anything or any breakup I had ever had. I am better now but still not 100 percent. It got a lot easier when I stopped trying to talk to her and got a new job and made a new start. I just look back at those dark days it was like my body was in shock. The worse thing of all is that I did it to myself. I was lonely and was so happy for a short time but it was a big mistake on my part.
similar, like suffocating at moments. The guy I love is hitting on another lady. I got anxious etc, now gave up, whatever happens, I cant change it. The worst is the unfulilled desire I have for him, which burns from inside and this topic is rarely touched upon in any self help videos:(
I am a guy and what this man describes as the worst pain from not being able to hold the woman I love is exactly what I am going through. I really want him to convince me away from those thoughts. I just want to forget the woman and move on with life.
I had this experience 13 years ago and got over it at that time. After that we were separated by life, work and location with little contact. The person disappeared few years ago. Now I found the person and it is all over again 😢
I have come back here to say thank you..To all people who are suffering due to unrequited love.. Believe me that It shall also pass and when you look back few months later and think.. what the heck was that all about.. The feeling is liberating.
What I wanna know is: Why do only some of us carry a torch for a long long time? Years in fact ! Is it something in our personality? Everything can be worked on. Because this is a waste of time and life !!!! I’m so mad about wasting time , and these people we are pining for ,they don’t even think of us, they are on to new horizons, laughing, planning , having nothing night romance, trying new things , vacations, sharing dinners, telling funny stories! Family get together, holidays, I wanna get back to living not walking around with my chest in my stomach!!! I don’t tell no one, I keep it to myself, I vent on you tube on the bad days,like today
@006pup thanks good luck I’m doing exercise right now, helps me feel like I’m not wasting time , and it’s a little boost. You may want to try a little exercise,if you want !peace
@006pup same i was in bad all the 2019 and even I didn’t remember anything from quarantine and the hardiest was November/December 2020 I kept listening to the same song over and over
I think it is a privilege to fall in love with another person. You see them in an intense light and it gives you a chance to notice certain qualities which you might choose to develop in yourself. Even a criminal may have a certain confidence that you could learn from. His confidence might only be based in a lack of intelligence because he can't see the consequences of foolish actions. However you could still choose to learn from that attitude, though you shouldn't waste your life trying to help someone who is quite happy to use everyone around him. A real relationship is much more complex and interesting but sometimes our hearts choose the simplicity of idolizing someone so we can notice a lack in our approach to life.
Its the most painful when u just saw someone has a casual thing and wasnt taking it seriously even... but then they trick u into thinking they want something more even marriage to use u for something...so u start to get feelings and then they cheat and leave u... mess with my head especially when you have a baby with them...some people so manipulative
I fell in love and professed my love to someone I really had strong feelings for. As the weeks went on, I realized that it was hurting too much to know he didn’t feel the same way for me back. Unfortunately, I can’t stay friends with someone whom I have strong emotional/romantic feelings with. It was hard, but I needed to move on.
I’m in love with a woman I’ve spent lots of time with on day trips, I work with her so know and love her character, she told me I’m her best friend on our last adventure and it was an arrow to my heart. I was having a romance and she just wants a friend. I’m going to take this advice as I’m in hell!
I am in unrequited love. It makes me hurt. These days I can't sleep well. I stay up night and miss him a lot. No words can discribe my feelings now. It hard to breath.
12:18 One thing I want to emphasize is if you are in love with a friend, don’t demonize them for not returning your affection and don’t elevate them on a pedestal. Be thankful for the good they brought into your life. If you need space, perhaps let them know you need some space.
You aren't pathetic. Life has given you the chance to notice certain qualities in another person, qualities that inspire and interest you. Ask yourself what you can learn from this person. Can you develop a side of yourself that needs improvement? Can you see life a little differently as a result of this experience? Maybe that's why you fell in love with them. The next person you adore will reveal something else for you to learn. I hope you can learn what's valuable in that person's personality and discard the foolish aspects so you are a more interesting person as a result of this rugged experience.
@@tracesprite6078 Thank you for the kind words and advice. They did inspire me like you said. Also, I did start seeing life from a more accepting pov after years since that experience. Only that, I could've done absolutely fine without that experience costing me 7 years. Still, life goes on.
There is something about the person that you love, something that inspires you. Allow yourself to learn something from them. Maybe they are lighthearted and laugh a lot. Can you find time to watch the occasional comedy? Maybe they are confident. Can you list your good points and choose to feel a little more confident? Allow the one you love to drift away but you keep the benefit of having glimpsed qualities you can learn from. Use the inspiration of having believed in an ideal to motivate you to study more and be your best self. You will never know how often your true love farts in the living room or removes large boogas from her nose and slowly eats them. She will remain an inspiration until she gently fades away.
@@etrebelle9812 I'm so sorry to think about what you've been through. Mark Tyrrell's ideas look good so maybe they will help you in your recovery phase.
@@tracesprite6078 see things like this sounds too Philosophical....it just doesn't work....I just need a pill that can make all my sadness go away and give me more energy and keep me focused or I need a pill to completely wipe me away from earth and give me eternal peace....limerence and unrequited love is killing me and I dont know what to do
It's been almost a year, and today foolishly I drove by his house - I don't know why, I just miss him. But i no longer have any excuses to see him nor talk to him and the thought of never seeing him again devastates me, and the fact that this is killing me so badly even though I never had the chance of properly dating him, it really wrecks havoc into my inner core. It hurts so, so, so much. I can't breathe. And it's been over a year. a damn year.
I knew most of this and still ended up in a depression for a couple of years. What I did was remove myself from the environment, start exercising, take psych courses (!), force myself to go to the theatre, etc. Studying psych helped because I realised that much of the pain / delusion is due to the way we are wired. So I didn't have to feel stupid on top of everything else. My "beloved" was a colleague who was exceptionally good at mind games. She had me convinced that we were an item -- and there were witnesses -- then she pretended I made the whole thing up after six months of very good acting and conditioning. Years after I removed myself, I still wasn't sure exactly what happened, but I decided to maintain my distance. Now it's crystal clear. I was manipulated at a very vulnerable time. One thing I did that was helpful was I promised myself not to demonise the person who did this. I decided that from the beginning and I think it helped curb the obsessive thoughts. The best take away from this is that intellectual activity can displace obsession. That's useful.
All moments felt like magic. All hour-long conversations felt like minutes. All emotions felt unbelievably pure. And that beautiful castle of fulfillment and happiness is now a cold, terrifying gulag in Siberia there is no escape from, with routine torture that kills you slowly. I made the capital mistake of painting a perfect picture that will never evolve into reality. I saw her more beautiful inside and out than anyone else. Way more than she really was and is. And still, for her, I was just a lousy gay-male-bestfriend. That didn’t break my heart, because broken hearts can heal. It shred it to a million pieces. And I honestly don’t think that such a bloody, broken mess is even able to heal. I’m on the verge of giving up on the concept of romantic love altogether, as it took my smile away. The spark in my eyes all my friends loved me for. And I don’t want to end up without them, alone, and depressed. I gave romantic love a chance because my parents, relatives, and friends mostly have compatible, loving relationships. But in my life, the concept of romantic love only left me feeling pathetic, lonely, and incapable of loving in general. My friends don’t deserve me like this. My family doesn’t deserve me like this. And I don’t deserve me like this. Should I just call it quits? Because all I really want, is peace.
No. You will move on. You must move on. You owe it to yourself. And you owe it to the person who is waiting for you to get over this fantasy. What you are holding on to is the appetizer, not the real 7 course meal. This experience has shown you that you are capable of love and that you need love but this person is not the one. Loving someone who does not love you back "till the day you die" is the most unloving thing you can do to yourself. Read the book "Attached" by Amir Levine. It will change your life.
I feel the main reason people hold on forever is the hope that the person will come back or the situation will one day change. Which rarely happens, except in movies! And so you have that perpetual hope which starts to give your life meaning almost! But if that person DID come back and want a relationship, suddenly you might no longer even want them! It really is the absence/fantasy/memory/projection that is being kept alive and the fact you want what you can't have...Whatever you can't have becomes more desirable. I think the key is to be as realistic as possible and focus on what they are truly like, not how you imagine them. I know what you are 'supposed' to do, but some thinking/desires/wishes are automatic. And I still think this person is a soulmate...even if we never speak again, they were some kind of soulmate.
Nothing is for ever. Even true love ❤️ we have to love our selves more than anything else then we will attract what’s meant for us or at least more suitable for us. We yearn for things that never were most of the time and our thoughts become our own worst enemy. Go and have fun with friends and spend time with people who really do love you and spend time doing activities that feed your soul 🙏💖🙏 your journey and your happiness is your responsibility And no one is put here to provide that for us. Hard pill but it’s the truth.
A very clear explanation of the topic and helpful ''tools'' to overcome the issue! Awesome video! I've experienced unrequited love a few times over the past few years and now it's especially harder due to the lockdown, we are more isolated and have more time than ever to think about the person we believe we love
When someone leaves for whatever reason, they have made that decision. They have thought and decided to let you go and continue with other options. You were an option amongst others and they decided on get it rid of you. You need to move on with your other options too its your decision to let them continue to waste your valuable time or to go out there and live your best life.
You're work is great, Mark. I've already purchased some of your hypnosis recordings and found them incredibly helpful. You speak so much sense, it's incredibly grounding.
This is an extraordinarily well done video-I thank you so much. I am sitting here with a knife in my heart, loving a woman that doesn’t seem to share my feelings. Well great…I bet you’ve never heard that before. All my best to you love-lorn souls out there-I KNOW how much it hurts 😢
I found this INCREDIBLY useful, or at least I suspect it will continue to be useful in the future going forward. Especially the advice about engaging the logical part of your brain. This also just helps me with depression in general, even outside of the unrequited love. I so often get stuck in my own head and feelings, without any other perspectives to compare with or anything. The emotions trap you and lock you in. But when you try and focus on 1) other things you enjoy and 2) logical things with accomplishable steps and 3) try to recognize that you deserve to do things you like and work on self-love, then it all comes together to really activists your brain and help you at the very least move on for a while from thinking about stuff, and motivates you to continue pushing forward even when those other thoughts start creeping (or yelling and running) back in.
"Love is romantic those moments of utter connection and transidential sympathy with another person almost as if nature wants us to experience a merging of two to one as a kind of universal blueprint in preparation for a more spiritual fulfillment" wow!
A 2 year casual relationship of mine recently escalated in intensity, and I fell in love with her. Problem is she "doesn't want anything serious right now" which I'm wise enough to know isn't a generalisation, that sentence could have been ended as "with you" It hurts a lot. Although I've just discovered this term Unrequited Love, and now that I know what I'm suffering from, I have a point from which I can start to rationalize it and try to move on.
Youre not alone, but instead of 2 years in my case its 12.5 years of intimate relationship. Shes now with someone else and wants to be 'just friends' and im like a dog just waiting for her to call me or send me a message every few weeks. I feel obsessed with her n completely worthless but Im so addicted to her I cant beak free bec after every phone call or message im back to square one n the suffering amplifies n tears mt heart to pieces. Yes im a mess and I seriously need help :(
@@jonnyjoker01 Oh I'm much better now, thanks for asking! I guess time does heal after all. I'm in a much better place than what I was before, psychologically and financially. Very nice of you to ask. I hope your days are full of health and joy.
It hurts.... a lot. I love this person so much even though he left me a year ago and began a new relationship. In my heart & soul, I feel like he was my forever person. Not only because we spent so many years together, i can't explain it but even though he's away, i can feel when something is wrong. There are days when I'm fine and they are days when I can't understand what I did wrong. I loved this man & accepted all of him (flaws, shortcomings, etc) yet I feel like I'm being punished whilst he's living his life freely.
i relate soso much...sometimes theres this big question like can he not reach out? or when will we meet again? does he really not care? why do i still care so much? its so much pain and confusion... so many what ifs. but we just gotta keep going. God will bring them back to us but only if it should be. pain always wants to teach something... i do believe that it can teach us much about our childhood. loving us as we are, and letting go of old thought patterns
At the moment I am desperately trying to get out of this viscous thing called unrequited love, and I must say that this video really helped me. Thank you so much.
Even to listen to this amazing advice, you need to be out of the fantasy business bubble. Unrequited love can be very stubborn. But when you have hit bottom, sanity starts to emerge and that's when you start searching for videos like this one because now you are ready to swallow the bitter pill or at least acknowledge that you might be on a wild goose chase or "swimming in a dry desert".
@@thea5364 Hey mate, I can tell you now that it is actually possible to deal with it. It takes a lot of time, but you need to be patient with yourself :) Take care!
Thank you for this video..I will watch over and over..I have been dealing w/ this for 3 very long years..It's a complicated relationship because we are also friends..good friends..But..he is unavailable..Soul mates, terrible timing..
I was in love several years ago with a not very nice man.This man made fun of me with others behind my back, and I was heartbrocken.3 Weeks after he left and walked away like nothing had happened. He did not care nor bother or have any consideration for my feelings.I wrote him.No response.I tried to write him no response. My relatives and friends told me to forget about him completely.I had then accepted and forgot about him.Now many years have passed.
I can tell you from personal experience unrequited love is Extremely unattractive and disconcerting to the one who dumped you, if they think you have it they're definitely never coming back
Wow!! That’s about as long as me.. are they still around, are you still friends? I’m not with mine.. they couldn’t care less if I was alive or dead 💁🏻♂️
@@areed2268 we text everyday. He is marrying someone else. I tried repeated to move on. I did fall for someone else but that was the same. I think reciprocated love is like childbirth. It's something I know happens but won't happen to me.
I numb myself after my previous relationship or "relationship" because the guy had no feelings for me. Now, I feel so unworthy of a new relationship & refuse to let anyone new into my life.
Hard to accept, but not too hard. Thank you for the helpful video. Sucks, because I feel very strongly about this woman, but the signs are there and I can't keep living in agony like this. Valuable lessons I needed to learn along the way make it a tough, but worthwhile experience I guess.
It helps to see them more objectively. To split the real person from the fake fantasy person living only in the mind. The object can of course feeed the fantasy to get attention which creates even more confusion.
This video helped so much, I am in love with my best friend and he apparently just like doesn't like me back in that way and it is literally one of the hardest things I've gone through, he ended up having crushes on almost all my best friends too and I constantly feel like I am not good enough, like maybe if I was this and that, maybe he'd like me, this video just put it in a different perspective, its hard being in love with some one that you see and hang out with all the time especially since he knows I like him and want to be with him and has seen me cry many times over it, but hopefully this pain will eventually go away
@@catalinadominguez9485 Hey!! Yes I was, I totally forgot about this comment! I am actually completely over him and I realized I was never in love with him, I was in love with the idea of being in love with someone. I currently don’t have a crush on anyone and I’m actually super happy! We are still friends but we definitely don’t talk as much and I’m actually okay with that! I realized we were not meant to be at all and that’s okay! It’s hard at the time but everything happens for a reason and in the end you’ll be okay!
@@SavanahPacheco YAAAY I AM PASSING THRO SAME SITUATION EXCEPT THAT IDK IF HE LIKES ME BACK. I AM SUFFERING SO MUCH TO MOVE ON. HOPE I CAN BECOME HAPPY LIKE U AND MOVE ON AS SOON AS POSSIBLE😭
@@ShiverZZZ666 You will definitely get through it, it’s going to be hard but time heals. And remember everything happens for a reason. I posted that update 6 months ago and now I have another update. We both had time to grow as people and we didn’t talk for a while. And about 2 months ago we got back in touch and now he is my boyfriend and realized we were in love with each other. Sometimes life has crazy ways to make things happen. And sometimes it’s the right person but the wrong time. And sometimes they all and all are not the right person for you. Remember if it’s meant to be it will be. And time heals all wounds, you got this!
@@SavanahPacheco OMGGG OMGGG THIS SOUNDS JUST LIKE A FAIRYTALEEEE. MAYBE I SHOULD RLLY RETHINK ALOT OF THINGS IN MY LIFE AS I AM GROWING UP🤗. TYSM FOR TELLING ME THAT^^
Thanks.. lots of good advice..was a "victim" of unrequited love myself not long ago..its all seems so stupid except for the intensity of the feelings..unbelievable!..I wonder why or how I became like that?..I would have taken bullet for her haha..course she didn't like me haha..it took months and chatting with friends to "recover"..kinda embarrassing but I've only had a "serious" case of this once in my life..its WEIRD!!..very hard for me to even believe it happened
I believe in highschool every guy wanted a nice looking girlfriend, every girl wanted a nice boyfriend, & I believe we all could of had one if everybody wasnt so damn picky. But we all had to be picky. So they was no doubt a lot of lonely hearts around. I was particular too. And the ones I liked turned me down. It hurt so damn bad. Its hard to accept that no matter how hard you work at it or better yourself you can't change their feelings towards you! We look for clarification we wanna be clear on what we did the wrong or where we went wrong. It'll drive you damn crazy trying to figure it out. Its hard to accept the facts. You want closure. An explanation, a statement. Why did you deny me?
Happened again after so many years, i thought i learnt something from my past experiences but life can have a funny way to remind me again. It's agonizing at time and while i am suffering like hell, i still need to go out to do my job as a member of society 😂 bad stuff
Ive done what you advise for years and years but it's still there, even stronger than before .. It has never passed and Ive not been able to form a family with another person.
Then sometimes it is better to have a good enough life by being with a good enough person. Don't let your life pass away and then have regrets when you are older. Over time you can learn to love someone who is good enough again. So focus on meeting someone who is good enough who appreciates you.
@@MeliMeli66 20 years have already passed in aloneness and without committing to anyone else ; not only do I have no regrets but I believe there's a chance I might reunite with 'the one', when the time is right, when all fears have been overcome. Doing what you're suggesting would feel like quitting the game, like self-abandonment. Not for me..
I loved her and I think she liked me too but she's religious and I'm not. She told me we were too different. Broke my heart completely. Then it didn't help that I acted "crazy" with anger
It really hurts right now, I've never fell in lover harder than this. Unfortunately I found that the girl I loved already have a boyfriend. I even haven't approach or talked with her but now there's no any chance with her. I must move on and focus on myself. Hope this advices work, cause I really need it. I hope it will pass soon
One of the hardest things is to know when to let go, because I always feel like "maybe I'll just wait for a little bit longer and he might change his mind." And that rarely happens.
more like Never
I’m sorry.
I'm in this situation he writes his texts in a way that make think that I might still have a chance.
I feel exactly the same way. 😢
Oh yes!! I know that feeling.
“Don’t confuse the intensity of agony with real love. You’ll know you’ve found the real thing bc it’ll flow in both directions” - so helpful ❤️
Yes.....
There's a real puzzler, bc why would anyone confuse the intensity of agony with real love? That just doesn't make any sense.
I dont know if love is less real just because it is onesided. Its obviously less fun but i dont know about it beeing less real.
@@mrfuzzer1 it's less real because one-sided is obsessive. Romantic love lives between two people.
@@CaptZdq1 sounds like you haven't experienced unrequited love. Agony and love are both very intense emotions that are unlike other emotions.
“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter, quite like unrequited love” - Charlie Brown
I’m so using this
It hurts to like someone who doesn't like you back when you shared your time with them and become eluded. Im in so much pain right now.... I will get over it i have to get over it i need to..
@Tyler Micale Thank you my friend
yes it's the worst torture
I'm really in pain for 5 years and I cant get over it
Please start a small exercise regimen
You don’t gotta kill it,but even a walk, or calisthenics, it was the only thing that helped me, didn’t cure me but helped a lot
@@fleadoggreen9062 Thank you, i might give some feedback and thanks for all the people who have shown support. Things ended eventually and i finally took the courage and moved on, better thing i could have done find someone who does love you back, if you chase someone who does not love you it's better to be alone in my opinion. When you find the right one you will know!
I did start calisthenics and running left the gym due to the pandemic :)
It's the worst. It happened to me a few years back I fell in love with a friend who I knew didn't see me in that way but I let it go on until I became frustrated in an outburst which made my feelings clear and then she made things clear. I went through over a year of the deepest depression and heartbreak. Worse than anything or any breakup I had ever had. I am better now but still not 100 percent. It got a lot easier when I stopped trying to talk to her and got a new job and made a new start. I just look back at those dark days it was like my body was in shock. The worse thing of all is that I did it to myself. I was lonely and was so happy for a short time but it was a big mistake on my part.
Been there
@@tjfSIM This is sooo true
The most important lesson is to learn to never step on a nail again.
Your not alone
You may have done the right thing. It could have gone on for years. At least you knew where you stood, and could go on to heal.
It hurts so much
I hear that.
I feel it.
Me too.
It sure does..it's torture..I wish all of us to get beyond it.
😥
Story of my life. The pain feels like I’m slowly strangling myself and I can’t breathe. Every time I think I know better it still happens
Im suffering like hell maybe even worse than you ;( I'm seriosly thinking of ending my life :(
@@Gentleman2019 have u confronted the person you love
similar, like suffocating at moments. The guy I love is hitting on another lady. I got anxious etc, now gave up, whatever happens, I cant change it. The worst is the unfulilled desire I have for him, which burns from inside and this topic is rarely touched upon in any self help videos:(
@@fantasiazplatkamiThe question is why do you want a man that's into another woman?
I am a guy and what this man describes as the worst pain from not being able to hold the woman I love is exactly what I am going through. I really want him to convince me away from those thoughts. I just want to forget the woman and move on with life.
This is the best video I found about unrequited love. I’m going through such a nightmare... and whenever I can’t take it anymore I watch it. Thank you
I'm have been in pain for 5 years and I can't get over it
I had this experience 13 years ago and got over it at that time. After that we were separated by life, work and location with little contact.
The person disappeared few years ago.
Now I found the person and it is all over again 😢
Same.
Im going through hell now ..im wondering how you feel now? since your comment is 1yr ago.
@@kamikaze6917 wow. You’re really stuck! I’m sorry…. Wanna move forward? And get beyond it?
I have come back here to say thank you..To all people who are suffering due to unrequited love.. Believe me that It shall also pass and when you look back few months later and think.. what the heck was that all about..
The feeling is liberating.
I hope this is true more than anything
I know it is difficult. I went through lots of pain..but i am liberated now. At times I feel ashamed that i let myself so down.
czcams.com/video/X2HJtjnDcZY/video.html
@@vinodtyagi7769 well her i am 1 month on and the pain has eased a little. thank you for your kind words
I'm looking forward to that liberation. 💔
What I wanna know is:
Why do only some of us carry a torch for a long long time? Years in fact ! Is it something in our personality? Everything can be worked on. Because this is a waste of time and life !!!! I’m so mad about wasting time , and these people we are pining for ,they don’t even think of us, they are on to new horizons, laughing, planning , having nothing night romance, trying new things , vacations, sharing dinners, telling funny stories! Family get together, holidays, I wanna get back to living not walking around with my chest in my stomach!!! I don’t tell no one, I keep it to myself, I vent on you tube on the bad days,like today
@006pup thanks good luck
I’m doing exercise right now, helps me feel like I’m not wasting time , and it’s a little boost. You may want to try a little exercise,if you want !peace
You can have that again 🙏 wish it and feel it and focus on your self 💖
@006pup same i was in bad all the 2019 and even I didn’t remember anything from quarantine and the hardiest was November/December 2020 I kept listening to the same song over and over
I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy ☹
"some people are just not very good at loving" damn that's deep.
I think it is a privilege to fall in love with another person. You see them in an intense light and it gives you a chance to notice certain qualities which you might choose to develop in yourself. Even a criminal may have a certain confidence that you could learn from. His confidence might only be based in a lack of intelligence because he can't see the consequences of foolish actions. However you could still choose to learn from that attitude, though you shouldn't waste your life trying to help someone who is quite happy to use everyone around him. A real relationship is much more complex and interesting but sometimes our hearts choose the simplicity of idolizing someone so we can notice a lack in our approach to life.
Its the most painful when u just saw someone has a casual thing and wasnt taking it seriously even... but then they trick u into thinking they want something more even marriage to use u for something...so u start to get feelings and then they cheat and leave u... mess with my head especially when you have a baby with them...some people so manipulative
I fell in love and professed my love to someone I really had strong feelings for. As the weeks went on, I realized that it was hurting too much to know he didn’t feel the same way for me back. Unfortunately, I can’t stay friends with someone whom I have strong emotional/romantic feelings with. It was hard, but I needed to move on.
I’m in love with a woman I’ve spent lots of time with on day trips, I work with her so know and love her character, she told me I’m her best friend on our last adventure and it was an arrow to my heart. I was having a romance and she just wants a friend.
I’m going to take this advice as I’m in hell!
When you think you healed doing lot of work on yourself and that person who rejected you just popped in your mind out of nowhere...😢
I am in unrequited love. It makes me hurt. These days I can't sleep well. I stay up night and miss him a lot. No words can discribe my feelings now. It hard to breath.
12:18 One thing I want to emphasize is if you are in love with a friend, don’t demonize them for not returning your affection and don’t elevate them on a pedestal. Be thankful for the good they brought into your life. If you need space, perhaps let them know you need some space.
This was more painful than helpful if I am being honest
Found that this is a thing, today. Glad to see people commenting whom i can relate with a lot. I feel somewhat less pathetic.
Same
Pathetic, all of us coming to this video. I hope you're better now.
You aren't pathetic. Life has given you the chance to notice certain qualities in another person, qualities that inspire and interest you. Ask yourself what you can learn from this person. Can you develop a side of yourself that needs improvement? Can you see life a little differently as a result of this experience? Maybe that's why you fell in love with them. The next person you adore will reveal something else for you to learn. I hope you can learn what's valuable in that person's personality and discard the foolish aspects so you are a more interesting person as a result of this rugged experience.
@@tracesprite6078 Thank you for the kind words and advice. They did inspire me like you said. Also, I did start seeing life from a more accepting pov after years since that experience. Only that, I could've done absolutely fine without that experience costing me 7 years. Still, life goes on.
@@SaminYasarwasbruello I hope that life will guide you towards a happier time.
Unrequited love ruined my academics earlier I used to get marks in 90s now I hardly make it to 80s and can't concentrate on my entrance exam ,
There is something about the person that you love, something that inspires you. Allow yourself to learn something from them. Maybe they are lighthearted and laugh a lot. Can you find time to watch the occasional comedy? Maybe they are confident. Can you list your good points and choose to feel a little more confident? Allow the one you love to drift away but you keep the benefit of having glimpsed qualities you can learn from. Use the inspiration of having believed in an ideal to motivate you to study more and be your best self. You will never know how often your true love farts in the living room or removes large boogas from her nose and slowly eats them. She will remain an inspiration until she gently fades away.
Relatable
@@etrebelle9812 I'm so sorry to think about what you've been through. Mark Tyrrell's ideas look good so maybe they will help you in your recovery phase.
@@tracesprite6078 see things like this sounds too Philosophical....it just doesn't work....I just need a pill that can make all my sadness go away and give me more energy and keep me focused or I need a pill to completely wipe me away from earth and give me eternal peace....limerence and unrequited love is killing me and I dont know what to do
It's been almost a year, and today foolishly I drove by his house - I don't know why, I just miss him. But i no longer have any excuses to see him nor talk to him and the thought of never seeing him again devastates me, and the fact that this is killing me so badly even though I never had the chance of properly dating him, it really wrecks havoc into my inner core. It hurts so, so, so much. I can't breathe. And it's been over a year. a damn year.
You don't know him. I don't know my crush very well either. They seem so fucking perfect but how likely is that, really? :((
I can understand😔
watch Alan Robarge on CZcams and research into developmental attachment Trauma
Took me five yearrs to move on. You can do it girl.
Took me 20 years
I knew most of this and still ended up in a depression for a couple of years. What I did was remove myself from the environment, start exercising, take psych courses (!), force myself to go to the theatre, etc. Studying psych helped because I realised that much of the pain / delusion is due to the way we are wired. So I didn't have to feel stupid on top of everything else. My "beloved" was a colleague who was exceptionally good at mind games. She had me convinced that we were an item -- and there were witnesses -- then she pretended I made the whole thing up after six months of very good acting and conditioning. Years after I removed myself, I still wasn't sure exactly what happened, but I decided to maintain my distance. Now it's crystal clear. I was manipulated at a very vulnerable time. One thing I did that was helpful was I promised myself not to demonise the person who did this. I decided that from the beginning and I think it helped curb the obsessive thoughts. The best take away from this is that intellectual activity can displace obsession. That's useful.
It hurt so much
I cried just to hear this
I was sober for four years, no smoking and no drinking until this happened now I relapsed
go to AA
Get back on the wagon, I am ,
Don't let someone do that to you & your health.
@@Dreamskater100 yeah I woke up and accepted it. Now I’m sober again
"some people really not good in loving" 100%
All moments felt like magic. All hour-long conversations felt like minutes. All emotions felt unbelievably pure.
And that beautiful castle of fulfillment and happiness is now a cold, terrifying gulag in Siberia there is no escape from, with routine torture that kills you slowly.
I made the capital mistake of painting a perfect picture that will never evolve into reality. I saw her more beautiful inside and out than anyone else. Way more than she really was and is.
And still, for her, I was just a lousy gay-male-bestfriend.
That didn’t break my heart, because broken hearts can heal. It shred it to a million pieces. And I honestly don’t think that such a bloody, broken mess is even able to heal.
I’m on the verge of giving up on the concept of romantic love altogether, as it took my smile away. The spark in my eyes all my friends loved me for. And I don’t want to end up without them, alone, and depressed.
I gave romantic love a chance because my parents, relatives, and friends mostly have compatible, loving relationships. But in my life, the concept of romantic love only left me feeling pathetic, lonely, and incapable of loving in general.
My friends don’t deserve me like this.
My family doesn’t deserve me like this.
And I don’t deserve me like this.
Should I just call it quits?
Because all I really want, is peace.
I'm very sorry. How are you now ?
This is the first video that has actually given me a sense of direction
It's like having a hot fudge sundae but you can't eat it.
Going on 7 years for me! Even though the person has blocked me everywhere, I can't seem to let go. I can see myself never moving on fully until death!
this scares me to death
No. You will move on. You must move on. You owe it to yourself. And you owe it to the person who is waiting for you to get over this fantasy. What you are holding on to is the appetizer, not the real 7 course meal. This experience has shown you that you are capable of love and that you need love but this person is not the one. Loving someone who does not love you back "till the day you die" is the most unloving thing you can do to yourself. Read the book "Attached" by Amir Levine. It will change your life.
How about 22 years. I don’t think about him consciously but he comes back in dreams.
I feel the main reason people hold on forever is the hope that the person will come back or the situation will one day change. Which rarely happens, except in movies! And so you have that perpetual hope which starts to give your life meaning almost! But if that person DID come back and want a relationship, suddenly you might no longer even want them! It really is the absence/fantasy/memory/projection that is being kept alive and the fact you want what you can't have...Whatever you can't have becomes more desirable. I think the key is to be as realistic as possible and focus on what they are truly like, not how you imagine them. I know what you are 'supposed' to do, but some thinking/desires/wishes are automatic. And I still think this person is a soulmate...even if we never speak again, they were some kind of soulmate.
I'm sorry
I feel so much better, thank you! Your message hits home and resonates within me!
I've watched a few of your video's on anxiety and this one, and they've helped me more than years of reflection and therapy. Thx for existing!
Nothing is for ever. Even true love ❤️ we have to love our selves more than anything else then we will attract what’s meant for us or at least more suitable for us. We yearn for things that never were most of the time and our thoughts become our own worst enemy. Go and have fun with friends and spend time with people who really do love you and spend time doing activities that feed your soul 🙏💖🙏 your journey and your happiness is your responsibility And no one is put here to provide that for us. Hard pill but it’s the truth.
if it's the truth that true love isn't eternal, can you prove it?
A very clear explanation of the topic and helpful ''tools'' to overcome the issue! Awesome video! I've experienced unrequited love a few times over the past few years and now it's especially harder due to the lockdown, we are more isolated and have more time than ever to think about the person we believe we love
When someone leaves for whatever reason, they have made that decision. They have thought and decided to let you go and continue with other options. You were an option amongst others and they decided on get it rid of you. You need to move on with your other options too its your decision to let them continue to waste your valuable time or to go out there and live your best life.
I found this really helpful and calming, thank you 👍
You're work is great, Mark. I've already purchased some of your hypnosis recordings and found them incredibly helpful. You speak so much sense, it's incredibly grounding.
Thanks for this. Videos like these are literally saving my life.
This is an extraordinarily well done video-I thank you so much. I am sitting here with a knife in my heart, loving a woman that doesn’t seem to share my feelings. Well great…I bet you’ve never heard that before.
All my best to you love-lorn souls out there-I KNOW how much it hurts 😢
Thank you I found this video while I’m healing and your words are true indeed.
Love the way you describe scenarios to prove your point. Insightful but also quite funny!😊
I’ve not been able to sleep or eat for a week over someone so this rings very true.
I found this INCREDIBLY useful, or at least I suspect it will continue to be useful in the future going forward. Especially the advice about engaging the logical part of your brain. This also just helps me with depression in general, even outside of the unrequited love. I so often get stuck in my own head and feelings, without any other perspectives to compare with or anything. The emotions trap you and lock you in. But when you try and focus on 1) other things you enjoy and 2) logical things with accomplishable steps and 3) try to recognize that you deserve to do things you like and work on self-love, then it all comes together to really activists your brain and help you at the very least move on for a while from thinking about stuff, and motivates you to continue pushing forward even when those other thoughts start creeping (or yelling and running) back in.
One of the best piece of advice I’ve ever heard in my entire 20 years of existence ❤️✨
czcams.com/video/X2HJtjnDcZY/video.html
This was one of the best videos I’ve seen on this topic. Thank you so much . 🙏
"Love is romantic those moments of utter connection and transidential sympathy with another person almost as if nature wants us to experience a merging of two to one as a kind of universal blueprint in preparation for a more spiritual fulfillment" wow!
Thank you so much! Very helpful and comforting.
I feel like my father is talking to me, you're video is so helpful.
This is a magnificent guide to help with healing. Thank you.
This is one of the best videos with advice that I've watched. Thanks alot!
czcams.com/video/X2HJtjnDcZY/video.html
I'm just going to face reality. I'm just not good enough, so I give up. I'll just focus on money. At least money can buy me temporary joy.
I’m with you, how you doing
A 2 year casual relationship of mine recently escalated in intensity, and I fell in love with her. Problem is she "doesn't want anything serious right now" which I'm wise enough to know isn't a generalisation, that sentence could have been ended as "with you"
It hurts a lot. Although I've just discovered this term Unrequited Love, and now that I know what I'm suffering from, I have a point from which I can start to rationalize it and try to move on.
Youre not alone, but instead of 2 years in my case its 12.5 years of intimate relationship. Shes now with someone else and wants to be 'just friends' and im like a dog just waiting for her to call me or send me a message every few weeks. I feel obsessed with her n completely worthless but Im so addicted to her I cant beak free bec after every phone call or message im back to square one n the suffering amplifies n tears mt heart to pieces. Yes im a mess and I seriously need help :(
@@Gentleman2019 hey bro how are you now?
@@jonnyjoker01 Oh I'm much better now, thanks for asking! I guess time does heal after all. I'm in a much better place than what I was before, psychologically and financially. Very nice of you to ask. I hope your days are full of health and joy.
@@Gentleman2019 nice for letting go
@@larishafaulkner9420 Thank you :)
Thank you Mark! Some really good points here...
I have to see them all the time.. fall in love each time. Driving me insane for 6 years
I am sorry
It hurts.... a lot.
I love this person so much even though he left me a year ago and began a new relationship. In my heart & soul, I feel like he was my forever person. Not only because we spent so many years together, i can't explain it but even though he's away, i can feel when something is wrong. There are days when I'm fine and they are days when I can't understand what I did wrong. I loved this man & accepted all of him (flaws, shortcomings, etc) yet I feel like I'm being punished whilst he's living his life freely.
i relate soso much...sometimes theres this big question like can he not reach out? or when will we meet again? does he really not care? why do i still care so much? its so much pain and confusion... so many what ifs. but we just gotta keep going. God will bring them back to us but only if it should be. pain always wants to teach something... i do believe that it can teach us much about our childhood. loving us as we are, and letting go of old thought patterns
At the moment I am desperately trying to get out of this viscous thing called unrequited love, and I must say that this video really helped me. Thank you so much.
Even to listen to this amazing advice, you need to be out of the fantasy business bubble. Unrequited love can be very stubborn. But when you have hit bottom, sanity starts to emerge and that's when you start searching for videos like this one because now you are ready to swallow the bitter pill or at least acknowledge that you might be on a wild goose chase or "swimming in a dry desert".
vicious*
Same here
@@thea5364 Hey mate, I can tell you now that it is actually possible to deal with it. It takes a lot of time, but you need to be patient with yourself :) Take care!
@@yinniferdurmyd thanks😊
Always excellent advice and helps me help my clients 🙏
Thank you for this video..I will watch over and over..I have been dealing w/ this for 3 very long years..It's a complicated relationship because we are also friends..good friends..But..he is unavailable..Soul mates, terrible timing..
Karen Wallo,I admire your lovely smile
I was in love several years ago with a not very nice man.This man made fun of me with others behind my back, and I was heartbrocken.3 Weeks after he left and walked away like nothing had happened.
He did not care nor bother or have any consideration for my feelings.I wrote him.No response.I tried to write him no response.
My relatives and friends told me to forget about him completely.I had then accepted and forgot about him.Now many years have passed.
Phir kya huwa the end
I can tell you from personal experience unrequited love is Extremely unattractive and disconcerting to the one who dumped you, if they think you have it they're definitely never coming back
This is really amazing...😍😍😍 Thank uh so muchhhh
A helpful set of tips, thank you.
This is a phenomenal video.
Thank you for this 🤗❤️
20 years.. .I think it's impossible. My life is hell.
Wow!! That’s about as long as me.. are they still around, are you still friends? I’m not with mine.. they couldn’t care less if I was alive or dead 💁🏻♂️
@@areed2268 we text everyday. He is marrying someone else. I tried repeated to move on. I did fall for someone else but that was the same. I think reciprocated love is like childbirth. It's something I know happens but won't happen to me.
What's wrong with unrequited love? It's actually my favourite, as I love to love and hate being loved back.
you might be lithromantic
You're probably only into casual flings
Great advices as always
I numb myself after my previous relationship or "relationship" because the guy had no feelings for me. Now, I feel so unworthy of a new relationship & refuse to let anyone new into my life.
I relate to this so much. Please hang in there, you are worthy and you are valuable.
This was a fantastic video. I think the best one of the subject I have ever seen. I will be rewatching for reminders
Thank you. Thank you so much
This is a great video. Youre voice is very soothing and could make someone fall in love :)
Hard to accept, but not too hard. Thank you for the helpful video. Sucks, because I feel very strongly about this woman, but the signs are there and I can't keep living in agony like this. Valuable lessons I needed to learn along the way make it a tough, but worthwhile experience I guess.
Prima Facie very helpful. Let's see what happens. Fingers crossed.
It helps to see them more objectively. To split the real person from the fake fantasy person living only in the mind. The object can of course feeed the fantasy to get attention which creates even more confusion.
My friend says he loves me but I know he doesn’t! He just wants me to be happy. I feel the energy and I know it is unrequited love.
excellent advice well-presented!
Thank you for this video..
I really love your work.
This video helped so much, I am in love with my best friend and he apparently just like doesn't like me back in that way and it is literally one of the hardest things I've gone through, he ended up having crushes on almost all my best friends too and I constantly feel like I am not good enough, like maybe if I was this and that, maybe he'd like me, this video just put it in a different perspective, its hard being in love with some one that you see and hang out with all the time especially since he knows I like him and want to be with him and has seen me cry many times over it, but hopefully this pain will eventually go away
Hey! I hope you were able to get over him
@@catalinadominguez9485 Hey!! Yes I was, I totally forgot about this comment! I am actually completely over him and I realized I was never in love with him, I was in love with the idea of being in love with someone. I currently don’t have a crush on anyone and I’m actually super happy! We are still friends but we definitely don’t talk as much and I’m actually okay with that! I realized we were not meant to be at all and that’s okay! It’s hard at the time but everything happens for a reason and in the end you’ll be okay!
@@SavanahPacheco YAAAY I AM PASSING THRO SAME SITUATION EXCEPT THAT IDK IF HE LIKES ME BACK. I AM SUFFERING SO MUCH TO MOVE ON. HOPE I CAN BECOME HAPPY LIKE U AND MOVE ON AS SOON AS POSSIBLE😭
@@ShiverZZZ666 You will definitely get through it, it’s going to be hard but time heals. And remember everything happens for a reason. I posted that update 6 months ago and now I have another update. We both had time to grow as people and we didn’t talk for a while. And about 2 months ago we got back in touch and now he is my boyfriend and realized we were in love with each other. Sometimes life has crazy ways to make things happen. And sometimes it’s the right person but the wrong time. And sometimes they all and all are not the right person for you. Remember if it’s meant to be it will be. And time heals all wounds, you got this!
@@SavanahPacheco OMGGG OMGGG THIS SOUNDS JUST LIKE A FAIRYTALEEEE. MAYBE I SHOULD RLLY RETHINK ALOT OF THINGS IN MY LIFE AS I AM GROWING UP🤗. TYSM FOR TELLING ME THAT^^
This is really powerful!!! Thank you for the wisdom!!!
Where is your name from? Is it Turkish? It's interesting!
It's Amharic(Ethiopian)
Thank you .. I needed this.
Excellent talk-thank you
Thanks.. lots of good advice..was a "victim" of unrequited love myself not long ago..its all seems so stupid except for the intensity of the feelings..unbelievable!..I wonder why or how I became like that?..I would have taken bullet for her haha..course she didn't like me haha..it took months and chatting with friends to "recover"..kinda embarrassing but I've only had a "serious" case of this once in my life..its WEIRD!!..very hard for me to even believe it happened
Same story for me!!
I have had it 3 times.
Thank you!
very helpful, thank you
Thank you sir!
Good info👍
you are very smart what u say is all true, i am subscribing
I dream many nights of this person since high school I’m now 61 and the dreams continue to take me back to him
God bless you, I pray & ask i Jesus name to release you from that unrequited love, amen.
I believe in highschool every guy wanted a nice looking girlfriend, every girl wanted a nice boyfriend, & I believe we all could of had one if everybody wasnt so damn picky. But we all had to be picky. So they was no doubt a lot of lonely hearts around. I was particular too. And the ones I liked turned me down. It hurt so damn bad. Its hard to accept that no matter how hard you work at it or better yourself you can't change their feelings towards you! We look for clarification we wanna be clear on what we did the wrong or where we went wrong. It'll drive you damn crazy trying to figure it out. Its hard to accept the facts. You want closure. An explanation, a statement. Why did you deny me?
I told him how I feel about him, he just wants to be friends.
I know this pain. He said that it made things awkward.
LOVE THIS
Happened again after so many years, i thought i learnt something from my past experiences but life can have a funny way to remind me again. It's agonizing at time and while i am suffering like hell, i still need to go out to do my job as a member of society 😂 bad stuff
Thank you! 🥲
Beautiful.
Ive done what you advise for years and years but it's still there, even stronger than before .. It has never passed and Ive not been able to form a family with another person.
Then sometimes it is better to have a good enough life by being with a good enough person. Don't let your life pass away and then have regrets when you are older. Over time you can learn to love someone who is good enough again. So focus on meeting someone who is good enough who appreciates you.
@@MeliMeli66 20 years have already passed in aloneness and without committing to anyone else ; not only do I have no regrets but I believe there's a chance I might reunite with 'the one', when the time is right, when all fears have been overcome. Doing what you're suggesting would feel like quitting the game, like self-abandonment. Not for me..
I haven't felt good in a long time but this really helped. Thank you.
I loved her and I think she liked me too but she's religious and I'm not. She told me we were too different. Broke my heart completely. Then it didn't help that I acted "crazy" with anger
It really hurts right now, I've never fell in lover harder than this. Unfortunately I found that the girl I loved already have a boyfriend. I even haven't approach or talked with her but now there's no any chance with her. I must move on and focus on myself. Hope this advices work, cause I really need it. I hope it will pass soon