Why You Keep Failing At Self-Discipline
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- čas přidán 2. 11. 2022
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ABOUT THE VIDEO
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In this video, I talk about self-discipline.
There's a widely-held belief that self-discipline means being able to do something when you don't actually want to do it. People who believe this think that self-discipline means going to the gym, reading books, or eating chicken and broccoli when you don't actually want to. For them, self-discipline means ignoring your authentic-self in favour of your ideal-self. But this view of self-discipline is completely deluded.
Forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do is not self-discipline. It's slavery, and every slave eventually becomes resentful, revengeful, and regretful. Sacrificing your authenticity for society’s ideal will make you miserable, not happy. And no matter how long you force it, you will always eventually fail in the long-run. And that’s a good thing too, because who wants to live their whole life as a slave?
If you force yourself to do things you don't want to do, if you follow society's ideal, your ideal-self will repress your authentic-self. You will become a slave in your own body, and your body will take its revenge.
But if you become a disciple of yourself, if you understand your own genuine feelings, desires, and nature, if you discover your own ideal, your ideal-self will work harmoniously with your authentic-self to promote growth.
So here’s the secret to self-discipline. Self-discipline is not about forcing yourself to meet society's ideal, but rather becoming a student of yourself. It's about discovering your own ideal and allowing your authentic-self to flourish.
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Self discipline is Not denying your authentic self in favor of your ideal self. It is denying your Lazy self in favor of a truer, stronger self.
Yeah, that seems right
I don't see discipline as always doing what's ideal, I think of it as doing something when its time to do it and not "not do" it. I let myself loose after the task.
I was just about to say this, in this case our "authentic" self is inherently lazy and that part of us should be suppressed if not destroyed completely. Doing things because of the pressure others put on you isn't discipline I agree but to be self disciplined is to identify the parts of you that are not good and denying them until they are destroyed. Being your true self is the best thing you could ever be but you have to be the good parts of yourself and not the bad parts.
@ Mario: Yes. You are correct. But it does so through hatred and rejection of your Lazy Self. Your Lazy Self is a part of you. You cannot deny or obliterate a part of yourself without causing severe trauma or even death. Hatred leads to resentment, and as Nietzsche so clearly puts it, resentment is the most destructive of all human emotions.
Better to aknowledge and accept your Lazy Self as neccessary for your Productive Self to thrive. Self directed hatred and anger might make you more productive for a time, but it's not sustainable without turning you into a gaping a*hole no one wants anything to do with.
Go ahead: Ask me how I know....
@@TheWilliamHoganExperience oh I 100% agree, I can tell you of my own experience. I was a very selfish and lazy person up until about 6 months ago when after 2 years of research I decided I needed to use mushrooms to try to look at myself more clearly and thru the experience I found that if you love that part of yourself it works with you to change. Hating that part of me was not working and in many ways making me worse and I didn't know how I could change until it was revealed to me that only by l9ving that side of me(even tho it's not the best parts of me) was the only way to truly change and grow. Those things are a part of us for better or worse and we must accept that but not let the negative parts of us control our behavior.
@@robertbailey3280 of course 'authenticity' doesn't include down sides like laziness for this video.Its just about questioning what really is normal and meaningful for you.'Even when you have something better or more rewarding in your mind,don't try to fit in general' this video means.
Self discipline is the ultimate form of self love.
I just commented the same thing .
self love is the result of self discipline
@@arjxnrk It's not "the result" but both things feed each other.
@@lako8368 agreed
Self acceptance is higher
I sacrificed making music to study Geology to make my family proud because I felt they knew what was best for me. I gave it everything I had, it was so hard. After the first semester of my second year, the lecturers bragged about failing us, I thought it was a joke till we saw all our hardwork reduced to nothing for their amusement. I clocked out, I sank into a depression, I was completely lost, it was a scary place but I learned it was necessary and it helped me get in touch with who I am not, it gave me the courage to follow my own path.
I started making music in April. I have never felt so whole
How did you find courage to do this , were you not scared that after that step what will be your future? What if your plan backfired?
Lol
Sacrificing your dream for someone else’s is so hard….I’m doing it right now trying to forget about music is breaking me, I have no motivation to do anything because….well….what’s the point. At this point I’ve already accepted my future and that I’ll be sad forever….sigh :/
Proud of u bro and keep on pushing
@@rataraton7119 I came here to write my own, seeing this, i dont think i need to.
People think it's depression, for me it's just hopelessness.
2 and a half years back had a hope that I will keep music a part of me every day i live, no matter what.
Eventually what happened, i now cannot dare to think the same, and that's how hope lost me on the way.
Àź
There are a lot of comments saying it's unadvisable to be your true self, because your true self doesn't want to go to work or exercise and just wants to lay around eating ice cream all day. I disagree. The part of you that wants to do nothing and be lazy all the time is not your authentic self; it is you trying to escape a life in which you are unfulfilled. We eat junk food and binge watch TV for comfort. For escape. To temporarily forget about what a jerk our boss is or that the mortgage is due and we're broke. Our authentic selves crave meaning and purpose. We want to leave our mark on this world. Our lazy selves that we rail against in the name of self discipline are the warnings our authentic selves are sending us to let us know our current lives are not satisfying us on some level. But rather than listen to that warning and take action, we stuff it down with more self discipline because maintaining the status quo is much easier than changing our entire lives.
No, I think our authentic self DOES want comfort and to be lazy because it feels good but it isn’t good in the long term. Our authentic self also wants the results that being disciplined in our goals can give us but our authentic self is in conflict because to achieve those results, we have to do monotonous things that don’t feel good to get them. So I don’t believe that we’re just here to “be authentic” and it’ll be smooth sailing just going through the motions of our desires.. I believe we’re here to learn and grow and we do have an authentic self but that self must be challenged so it can evolve to a greater and more ideal authentic self. I don’t think we just “be ourselves” and “follow that” and everything will just magically fall into place without building a relationship with discomfort, hardship and pain. Because hardship, discomfort and pain are really the only things that teach the best lessons and it’s the only thing that gives growth. Growth doesn’t come free.
@@user-qe7bt9dz1l I really agree with you
@@user-qe7bt9dz1l yes true. Also the thing that scares is, will that hardwork, discipline, monotonous work will finally or eventually give result or will it be futile? Like for eg. If say someone told you to run 1 km and you will get rewarded. You will easily achieve it and even feel motivated to do so. But take case 2, you are told to run, but till when no one knows, you will feel pain even by the thought of it.
@@user-qe7bt9dz1l No, the authentic self and the insufficient, inadequate 'not-good-enough' self are not the same thing. The mentality of chasing after conflict and hardship for arbitrary reasons is not magically going to lead to anything constructive or positive, it's actually opposite. You will trap yourself in a deadly cycle that will only lead to more conflict and hardship because your entire premise is your low self esteem, the idea that if you don't intentionally make yourself uncomfortable and miserable, you're not good enough because you can't otherwise brag about how hard your life is to others. I was a hardcore believer in this idea at one point in my life, so I speak from experience, and this is THE single biggest and by far the hardest lesson I will take from my 20's. My constant self growth and discomfort binging showed good results in the short term, but I eventually burnt myself out to the point of literal chronic disease, injuries, pain and both mental and physical suffering. Letting it all go and accepting the idea that any 'ideal self' is arbitrary and meaningless has allowed me to start the healing process. Take fitness for example, it doesn't mean getting ripped and doing HIIT and lifting like an ape and intentionally tearing your muscles or getting your heart rate above 190, because that's not going to make you fit, that's the kind of thing that's increasing the rate of heart attacks in people younger than 40. Sometimes it just means waking up and going for a relaxing walk, a stretch and then a hot shower (yes hot, not cold). It's still exercise, but it's not intentionally causing oneself pain, there's a difference. It's not about intentionally putting yourself through purgatory, only idiots and losers with low self esteem who succumb to social pressures do that, and their party doesn't last long. It's about finding a balance that works for you, and only you alone. That's the self-disciplined authentic self.
I kind of understand what you're saying, but it seems like concretely, they both lead to the same outcome: you doing stuff you don't want to do, most if not all the time. The only thing that changes is the story behind your actions, which in one case is , for example, working full time when you think you don't want to because that's what you think you need to do to achieve some distant goal you may or may not actually want, and in the other case telling yourself that what you think you want (doing nothing at all, at least for the foreseeable future) isn't ACTUALLY what you want, and since you don't know what you want you convince yourself that what you actually want is that distant goal that "forces" you to work full time. So really, the latter is the former, but more complicated; slavery with extra steps. The reasoning seems circular. We must not do what we don't want to do, but must not do what we think we want to do because that's not actually what we want to do and in the absence of any way of knowing what we actually want to do, we're just back to doing what we don't want to do, but we got a little more confused in the process
Self discipline is not about being a slave to another master’s desires but being resilient and consistent with your own. Self discipline limits the act of daydreaming and wishful thinking and supports the actions of achieving ur goals
Indeed 🎉
I can totally relate that daydreaming about our wishes literally sucks much more than pain of taking actions!! 😭
Couldn't be more right.
Misleading Analogy, If you think too deep you'll end up in a dark place. Self-discipline is simply doing what you don't want to do because it's hard, you can only achieve great things by overcoming difficult challenges, which will make you happy later.
This absolutely nails it. I'm autistic. Many of my difficulties in life stemed from trying to be something and someone I wasn't. I tried to fit in. It didn't work. So I kept trying. And failing. Eventually I learned I was autistic. It's when I realized and accepted this fact that things got better for me. Seek to understand your true nature. It's a lifelong journey for everyone, autistic or not - or should be.
100% me: Asperger's and my parents trying to turn me into their mini-me my whole life, which turned into self-resentment and depression until this year I finally started to be "me".
@@jonathanbassett3656 That's terrible. I really feel for you brother. I spent decades trying to conform to social norms and had two prestigeous careers go down in flames when I was no longer able to beat myself up enough to keep up the charade. I went through years of suicidal depression, anxiety, and hoplessness as a result. Now I'm unemployed, and living on a tiny pension from my teaching days.
The anxiety was the WORST part of it. I wouldn't wish it on ANYONE. I now understand it as a central part of the autistic experience. We are extremely sensitive to some things, and oblivious to others. This leads to extreme social difficulties like bullying and ostracization. The world becomes a living hell for us, and what's worse is that only we experience it like this.
In the end it was ketamine infusion theraphy that saved me from the constant state of dread and periodic terror I was trapped in for most of my life. I underwent the treatment in 2018, and it almost immediately stopped the anxiety. The depression lifted, and I was able to function again. I've been recovering ever since. The autism diagnosis was final piece of the puzzle.
All I can say is hang in there. Stubborness is often seen as an autistic deficit. I see it as a strength. Keep trying new things and strategies for managing your life and emotions. Consider ketamine infusion (not injection) theraphy if you're not getting better. There's increasing evidence now that it's especially effctive at mitigating the sort of suffering you and I and other autistic people deal with.
Never give up.
Good luck =)
@@TheWilliamHoganExperience I’m 23 and a few weeks ago I learned that I’m autistic. All my life I’ve struggled so much and now that I understand why I feel better but I’m at ground zero figuring out what to do and how to navigate this, would really like to connect and talk more about this if you’re open to it please
autism talks
I found this video to be really confusing. I think discipline regarding eating healthy, maintaining good sleep hygiene, working out, limiting screen time, etc. isn't somehow denying your authentic self. You are just resisting the urge to over engage in the unnatural stimuli of the modern world for your own good. I doubt anyone's authentic self is an overweight person with ill health who has no friends due to playing video games all the time. If anything, having no discipline and just blindly following your urges is an impediment to living an authentic life.
Indeed, self-discipline is simply a natural consequence of living an authentic life and doing what calls to you. Self-discipline isn't a chore and it happens naturally when one is sincerely pursuing their own path.
That’s bullshit. Do you think a samurai in old japan grew up wanting to spend his life fighting and killing? Self discipline was never about being authentic. In fact you don’t even know what you truly want. It could be that you want to become a music producer because you went on a concert and it was awesome. But a few months this could have changed entirely. It could be that you start to become a lawyer and hate it just love it after a few years. There is no „it comes naturally“ bullshit. If you always do what you feel like doing you will become a person who always chases the easiest way and are easily influenced by media/people/society.
Most of the time you start to derive joy from a task after you went through the painful path of mastering it. If you master a skill and people admire you for it, you will naturally feel happy and proud. Of course you shouldn’t force yourself to something you absolutely hate. But you should ask yourself: Do you hate it because it goes against your nature or do it hate it because it’s hard/boring/not fun? Most of the time it’s the latter.
@@WataruTakagii I am not you and I view the world differently.
@@WataruTakagii This is the only comment around here that makes sense. This video was WAY off the mark.
self-discipline is doing something you don't want now for something you want in the future.
that's delayed gratification. not the same thing as self discipline but it can sometimes be part of it.
You didn't pay much attention to the video did you?
@@Always.SmarterDisagree. There's no need for self discipline if it's something you want to do anyway. Delayed gratification is merely a delay whereas self discipline is intentional build up and action taken now for a better outcome in the future.
Life is supposed to be difficult and hard!! Once you Accept this, Life suddenly isn't so difficult and hard!! Once you Accept Life as it is, you feel a Deep Peace and Joy!!
Self discipline doesn’t make you a slave to yourself, it makes you master of yourself. That’s the opposite of slavery. That’s freedom.
We confuse comfort with freedom but freedom comes at a cost and it's worth it. How you know it's worth it. Remove the veil of ignorance. Be a seeker. Feel the pain and accept it. Don't hide it. Don't run away. Embrace life and death. Comfort and extreme pleasure does come at a cost but it's not worth it. What's painful is that we have trained ourselves to feel hyperpleasure that it's making us I'll and it's becoming the norm. We just tolerate bullshit and call it life. However life isn't that.
First lesson is to learn we have inherent weaknesses and insecurities and learn to accept it and learn to train and make a way with it.
Thank you.. i needed this man. It was uplifting
Allowing your authentic self to flourish don't get the grades up, lil bro.
The number one reason people fail with self-discipline is running from discomfort. When you don't want to do what “you're supposed to do”, it is time to rethink your goals and find ways to simplify their achievement. Working on your self-discipline helps.
Self control will be an issue, even when following your passion. There's always times where you have self doubt or don't want to do what you know will make you happy in the long run. Self discipline is learning to do it anyways.
I find a unique happiness from overcoming difficult challenges. Many times, I would make myself do challenging things despite not "feeling" like doing them - and the reward has been tolerance. When you can tolerate more things in life, you have more room to be happy. If someone annoys me, I now have the emotional intelligence to quickly brush it off since I've pushed myself to do way harder things than experiencing annoyance.
Some forms of doing things despite not wanting to do them can pay off greatly. It's a more straightforward path to health, well being, and security - than the ambiguous "path of the true self" that you are suggesting which requires a healthy perspective and immense clarity. In theory, it still would require one to do the painful work of understanding oneself - which many refuse to even get to the surface of doing.
Not everyone will be able to understand themselves perfectly... we are flawed creatures and also we tend to have foolish/childish desires. If one determines the path of their true self is to be a serial killer, are they right?
I agree that we should not make decisions based on societal expectations, however this is not directly linked to doing things despite not wanting to. A big support to what I'm saying would also be the "zone of proximal development". One has to put themselves in an adequate amount of discomfort to grow.
Really appreciate this input, i for one struggle a bit with doing things I don’t like and while this video certainly appealed to the “want to be better me” it felt a bit disconnected, no shade to @freedominthoght. Your comment puts structure to my messy mind, thank you again
Just in time for NNN.
For what?
@@khalilahd. No nut November. Men undertake the challenge overcome masturbation and pornography by abstaining the whole month from them
@@khalilahd. lol, you’re not aware of NNN?
@@khalilahd. It's just one of those things men have gotten too used to these days
@@khalilahd. No Nut November. It’s a month where men don’t masturbate, though, woman can participate as well. It’s a meme but can also be taken seriously.
Self discipline is not about following society's expectations and becoming its slave. It's about prioritizing delayed gratification over instant gratification, which is the exact opposite of what the majority of people is doing in this age of consumerism and comfort, lol.
Hmm,what he meant to say is different thing. Although i like it too
Every form of freedom has to have a discipline else it becomes autocracy
Yeah, this video is fucking terrible tbh. He's calling you a slave if you do all the things that are literally scientifically proven to make you happy. Plus if you're disciplined enough to do all those first, then you're free to actually explore your authentic self. A bit difficult to do that if you procrastinate alll of your responsibilities.
This video is a mess. Total confusion between the concept of self-discipline and the idea of doing what other people want us to do.
All right, we’re just waiting for your video that will solve this problem. Drop the link.
This one really hit close to home. I have GI issues as well due to stress from my job before I got laid off. Oddly I have less stress now than when I did when I was making 6 figures. That money didn't bring me any happiness, only stress and regret. I often couldn't sleep and had so much anxiety I couldn't notice textures on the wall. I kept pushing in the name of discipline and sacrifice for my family. I wish I would've found my way doing something with comedy instead. I love making people laugh, not money. I doubt you will read this, but thank you for your videos. They've really helped me through some very dark times.
"There is no greater privilege in life than being yourself." - Joseph Campbell
thank you so much. i’m now entering a point in my life that i need to change or else i’ll carry shit into my adulthood. i got this
Discipline is the highest form of self love .
I am literally doing the same - I am an aerospace engineer working with machine learning and I saw that no matter how much money I made I could not motivate myself to do the things I was supposed to do. Then I realized - I am no more the person I thought I was - I do not like engineering anymore, nor machine learning, and I would not even progress properly thinking like this. And I did the same - went on a journey to be a philosopher, going thru a psychology specialization. We have to embrace change, not fight it.
Thank you for this video, it was surely an alignment of what I was thinking for months.
A man without self discipline is just like a man without water in a desert.
I’m in my last year of college right now and this couldn’t be more accurate of myself. I wanted to look for work after high school, contemplating pursuing a trade school education, but I was vastly pressured into college because my family made it seem like there was no other path. I have a GPA of 3.917, but I couldn’t be more unhappy with knowing what’s expected of me after May 2023: finding an office job when I know I’m going to hate it.
I should add I’ve double majored in philosophy throughout my education, and it’s the only thing that’s kept me interested in continuing, having to deal with all the other classes I couldn’t care less about.
You're still so young, plenty of time to change path! Go to a trade school and learn a trade, find something you enjoy doing, you'll earn way more than sitting down all day in a comfy but lifeless office, both monetarily and emotionally!
Don't fall for the sunken cost fallacy: just because you didn't change path yesterday, you aren't forced not to change it today!
@@mrknarf4438 Agreed. Ancient wisdom and cliche, but if you enjoy what you do it doesn't feel like work. "The most difficult thing in life is to do things you don't like". Well, that was a quote from Murray Walker, F1-commentator.
Have you seen the Lock-picking lawyer ? Best of both worlds. 😊
Please. You’re young . Follow your dream. You'll be a happier and better person for it. And we need more tradespeople right now. 🤗
I loved the way he explained this. I've abided by this authenticity rule and never really put a name to it, but he basically sums it up perfectly
But I hate working out but I do it because I need to be physically fit and healthy… And believe me, there’s no way you can make me enjoy pushing my body to its limits or past it and somehow enjoy it.. I simply hate it. But I look so much better when I show up and get it done versus if I listen to my authentic self who wants to just chill, play games and sleep.. So what then? I believe as long as you know who you are, what you want, what you like and dislike, and what you feel, then you’re already authentic. AND THEN FROM THERE you make choices on what’s best for you and what you want and NEED to do. Not everyone has the same type of life where you just love a certain job and fit right in. Some people like me don’t love doing anything but relaxing and doing absolutely nothing. I’ve always been this way but I promise you, if I stopped doing what I need to do to BECOME MY BEST, I’ll become 400 pounds, disgusting, worthless and waste away. Sometimes you just gotta bite the bullet and do what you hate so long as it gives you the results you want. I’m actually very result oriented. Every time I think of why I’m doing something, I’ll remind myself of the end result considering I almost never enjoy the process. I suffer from a lot of personal issues that really detracts me from enjoying the process but I’m also just a very private person. Anyways, that’s my comment.
At the 2 minute mark of the video you said something that truly resonated with me. I’ve been studying engineering for about 3 years in college now but I’ve always wanted to change to psychology, and studying philosophy is one of my greatest passions. You’ve spoken my truth
Same 🥺
Eye opening video. We’re told that you gotta do what you don’t want to even if you don’t feel like it. But eventually you will break, your body will rebel, and you fall into depression. My moral from this video is to learn to connect with your heart, intuition, and learn to do what feels right.
Thank you for making this video! Your channel is life changing. I was also grinding through engineering for the money and suppressing my true passion of becoming a manga artist. Even though I got good gpa, good job, good money, everything I though I need to be happy, inside I never felt at peace. I developed various mental issues and eating disorders. Now that I got more aware of what I’m doing to myself, I’m starting to make real progress towards my dream. Thank you again!!
Great take, always thought the same that self discipline falls short when it's not coming from within, and the drive naturally falls short and we continuously let ourselves down
So, I feel like there is definitely some truth to this video. But ultimately, if you’re going to pursue something in life, you have to be disciplined. There are going to be days, regardless of how much you love what you do, where it gets hard. I don’t buy this idea that you just ‘feel like it all the time’ if you love it. It’s more that you’re ok with pushing through the difficult times as you know what it will lead to. However, I will agree if you’re pushing through something like a bad job and trying to have discipline for that, that can be truly soul crushing.
Our focus should be on wanting the right things, not on doing the right things. That's the difference between someone who does things out of discipline and out of passion. Our desires are caused by what beliefs we attend to. If you believe that you are in a life or death situation even if you aren't then you still feel fear, If you believe that something is achievable and valuable even when it isn't then you still feel motivation. Neurons work to find both reasons for something and reasons against something, we are simply just putting our attention on inaccurate beliefs rather than accurate ones. There is a big difference between believing that something is true and actually attending to the fact that something is true so that this truth can join and affect your cognitive decision making.
Could you give an analogy or anything that can help me understand your comment.
@@soumyadyutichakraborty7921 Your desires are caused by your beliefs. For example you feel fear if you believe you are in danger and you feel motivation when you believe that something is achievable and worth it. Our beliefs are caused by how we use our attention. Its our attention that generate the building blocks that cause our beliefs and its our attention that activates and deactivates certain beliefs in certain moments.
As someone who has absolutely lost my authentic self due to chasing other people's dreams I fully agree,I wanted to learn descipline inorder to learn to do what I don't want and I found this video,I have to go back inwards and rediscover myself, I've always been artistic from a young age,I used to draw all the time in school and loved it then I was bombarded with what the world wanted me to be..not who I wanted to be...time to learn who and what I am meant to be,not what the world wants me to be, thanks Alot for this one, very empowering
I love to read the comments and discussion, and perspectives!
If you are depressed and don't know why, this video might change your life forever! This shook my soul. I feel this is one of the most important videos out there which could potentially save many lives because if everyone saw this with undivided attention, the world might drastically change in a very short time period! I always wanted to do music but instead did sales and management for years, which resulted in a depressed, highly anxious, and suicidal alcoholic always wondering why I hated my life and myself. I recently started to do music again and I'm never looking back! I really needed to see this as I think this will forever change my life for the better and I am eternally grateful for that. I hope and pray as many people as possible see this.
*LIFE IS SHORT*
😭😭😭
It Means Not How Many Years You Are Alive, Life Is So Precious, How You Enjoy Your Every Moment In Life Is The Most Important And That’s Life.
Facing Every Difficult Situations In Your Life With Bravery And Make It With Patience And Positive Mind.
*Life Is Complex So Choose Your Journey Wisely* 😭🤟🏻🤔
"Suppressing your authenticity" - well, there's not much authenticity in binge watching series or BS videos for hours, or eating junk food every day, and many other things. Your "idea self" is more authentic in such cases, and your strong desires for junk food or procrastination is often caused by trauma, withdrawal, or just bad habbits and easy cop outs... That's not always the case, and when people "fail at self-discipline" it's for such cases more often, not for "failing at engineerin school because they want to become a psychologist instead" cases like in your example...
It is wonderful to hear a story like yours. It is great to learn your philosophy. It is brave of you to share it. Many of your videos sometimes make me cry a little - not because I'm sad or offended - I cry because sometimes some realisations are painful but necessary, and for that I want to thank you :)
Self-discipline is basically doing the things you actually want regardless if you feel like not doing them. If your passion is bodybuilding but let's say someday you wake up and say ''I don't feel like going to the gym today, maybe tomorrow'' that's when you should force yourself into doing it because you're actually passionate about it. Now, if you have to do something you don't even care about at all and you force yourself to do it (like the robber example in this video) it will only make you a slave.
Top G
Such an interesting take on self discipline but I understand this view to an extent ❤
Whats your view im interested?
Never stop believing in yourself. You are strong and determined to reach all of your goals. Just keep at it!
Cheers from Improvement Today 🌈
The jittering animation around 2:25-2:35 is surprisingly fitting when you talk about not being authentic
I really loved this video, understanding yourself is the true form of discipline.
Sometimes it isn't that we aren't pushing ourselves hard enough...it's that we're pushing ourselves in the wrong direction!
I needed to hear this video! I haven’t been living to my fullest potential.
This made me realise, I am already self disciplined but was trying to be a slave to others.
I am already a student lf myself.
I am not forcing myself to be what society tells me.
While this video paints a beautiful picture, it completely misses the mark of self-dicipline from the very onset. First of all, one would need to ask oneself what self-dicipline is and what it opposes, and I think that's where this video makes an error. I would argue it has very little to do with "objective" measures of societal values VS one's subjective aspirations, and a lot more to do with subjective measures of laziness VS fulfilling one's goals. It's an internal process rather than an external one (although it's surely not 100% one way or the other). Everyone struggles with self-dicipline, even those who are on the very path of their lives they want to be on, no matter the authenticity.
It could be about working out, eating well, sleeping well, and abstaining from harmful habits just because you know it will do you a lot of good, especially in the long run. It doesn't matter how """authentic""" you view these things as. It's also about taking time to study for that one exam weeks ahead even though you would rather play video games, because you know how much it matters once you are sitting there trying to pass it. You can't just say "it's more authentic if I played video games and start studying for it the night before the exam," knowing very well you'll fail it and ultimately fail the course.
I'd like to add a simple thought experiment of applying what this video tries to say to more harmful situations; say the desire of extremely harmful behavior towards others. Let that play out and see what happens.
Schopenhauer got me covered.
Great content, honestly breath of fresh air on my mind
The reason I'm going to do things that I don't want to, it's because of money, so I can put them on the side or investing on my dreams and THEN I'll be able to actually follow what I want to do
Thank you for this Video. I have similar experiecence and I think this video nailed the message I'ven been looking many years ago.
"Imagine a criminal takes you as prisoner and starts making demands of you. 'Clean my house'" lol
The issue lies in not knowing what you want or why you want it. It's good to practice restraint, and it's good to give in sometimes and enjoy.
Sometimes an activity is good, sometimes the result is what is good. Think more about what you will have by doing something, and if it's worth it to you. It is true that if you're dedicating your life to what other people think you want, you're leading a hollow life. But to make this difference between your authentic self and ideal self is a bit inaccurate. You then go on to say you need to have your own ideals, and this is precisely what I mean. Your ideal self and authentic self are... kind of the same. It is crucial to you and everyone around you to develop your own ideals, indeed. This is your actual ideal self.
It sounds to me you struggled with having your ideal-self defined for you. When you realized your ideal self wasn't authentic, because it was someone else's ideals forced onto you, you had a crisis that resulted in you defining for yourself who you were, which is fantastic. Self discipline is more about acting in line with your values and ideals, once they have been authentically realized. You may value organization, for instance, but one day you feel too lazy to clean your desk. Self discipline is what makes you organize your desk anyway. But, maybe you also value rest, and if you really need it, it's okay to organize your desk another day. You may find the more you know what you value, the more authentic you are, the more ideal you are, and, like you mentioned, the easier it is to be self-disciplined.
If you wanted to go to the gym every day for the rest of your life and do a crazy workout, and got 5 days in and decided you are in so much pain you can barely work let alone workout, you might feel like lazy garbage and have a crisis about it. At the same time, would you force someone else to go to the gym and workout excessively every day? Isn't it funny we abuse ourselves like this and don't even realize? Isn't it clear a great deal of our struggle comes from this mistreatment we unknowingly subject ourselves to? If fitness is something you value, then taking a break to recover from workouts is just as important as going to the gym.
Anyway, who you are, and who you want to be are both valid parts of you. Even, the expectations others set for you can be a valid part of you, but only if you decide. If your parents told you to be a doctor and it seemed agreeable to you, it's lucky for your parents. But if your parents forced you to become a doctor when you had a clear calling for something else, that's misfortune for you and them.
I’ve been following you since you were a small CZcamsr im so proud of you ❤️ you inspire me your animations are getting better and better
Btw 0:50 that was me 30 mins ago
Thank You Admin❤️
This is very enlightening for what I'm overcoming
I like this kind understanding of self discipline. thank you
I don’t feel like going to the gym most of the time but that fact that discipline forces me is the fact I can say today that I look exactly how I want to. Not sure if I agree with you this time around.
Then you have dine the self discipline he meant. At least that what I get from this video. The method of what people said good for you doesn't always suit you, like sure gym is good but some people will have better time with way that they enjoy, maybe different gymr regimen or outdoor activities or group activity or actually they need more professional dietary guidance. All in pursuit to better ourselves there are a lot of learning to understand our authentic selves too.
@@zenzenitha Wrong. I think you missed my point. Why do you think there are fat or even obese people in this world? Is it because they didn’t find the right “activity” or is it they were being their “authentic selves”? Either way both to me would be doing more harm then good.
This video really tries to point out that by not doing what you want you end up regretting it, but it seems to lack the perspective that *sometimes what you want isn't always what you need.*
It's not being a slave as a parent when you say "No" to your child when they want something sweet, but you believe that they need something that will benefit their health. (even though you want them to be happy)
That is called Conscientious, to do the things that are necessary for you and your child to survive and benefit from it.
By the parent being able to say no, she was able to have her child become more healthy.
‘Self discipline is not about forcing yourself to become society’s ideal, but rather becoming a student of yourself. It’s about discovering your own ideal and allowing yourself to fluorish.’
It's making yourself doing the things you don't feel like doing like getting out of the bed when you don't feel like it like i do when I go to work
My authentic self is lazy
Self-discipline is a matter of pursuing any goal of your choosing.
Eating Cheetos
@@MeatCatCheesyBlaster do it
Track you. Helpful & great video...🙏🏻👏
Great month to post this in. Iykyk
Amazing, thank you.
Every man should follow his nature ..
I was brainwashed by the idea of following your passion, living according to your emotions etc. like this video preaches. And it was terrible.
Firstly, what you are talking about is not authentic self, it is a primal self. And if I live according to my primal self (which I lived when I was totally miserable) I become a hedonist, I live for pleasure and I run away from pain. And life is pain. So that means I should't live? With that kind of mindset you don't accept pain and not accepting your pain actually makes your pain unnecessarily bigger. And it makes you suicidal and depressed.
Instead of living according to my primal self I began live according to my will which is my authentic-self. After that I accept the pain in life, I deal with it easily, I don't ever feel depressed, desperate(this things have become a myth to me). I have goals in life, I discovered my life's meaning.
Living according to my primal self had always created a gap inside me. I do things that I get pleasure but at the same time I acknowledge that it is not what I want, THIS SHOULDN'T BE ME. So that means doing what you feel like doing, getting pleasure - my primal self - is not who I am, it is not my authentic self.
Now I do things that are hard and suffering. But it is great! Because I become fulfilled, I become proud about myself, I know that this is the real me.
That means my primal self(who wants pleasure and happiness) are the opposite of who I am. But my will(who wants to feel proud and fulfilled) is my authentic self.
So don't fall into that trap, guys. It's completely bullshit and it's gonna ruin your life. Don't chase happiness and pleasure. Chase fulfillment. (Ironically, when you chase fulfillment, you become happy. But if you chase happiness, you end up being miserable).
This is a great video. I love that it doesn't preach "pushing harder" and forcing oneself to become disciplined and action oriented. Instead, through deeper self introspection and discovery, one can be guided towards the right activities they can become disciplined at and understand existing resistances better. This optimizes how one uses their time and energy and the efforts they contribute towards. Thank you!
"Self-discipline means ignoring your authentic-self in favor of your ideal-self", that's the stupidest thing I've heard in a while.
So basically: Do what you really want without lazyness
Your wrong self discipline is doing something thing even if tou dont feel like doing it to avoid laziness. But if you see some ice cream you can have some dont deny your self the delicious treat but done over indulge, self discipline is knowing when to stop.
but the difficult part is without forcing your mind, you can get distracted very easily .
Almost nailed it.
Go back and read the Ch’an/Zen Canon and leave your final chain on the ground:
The capitalistic impulse for fame, profit and money.
You had it right until the monetized gamification of insight.
Thank you
Loved This Episode❤
Curently watching this video when im supposed to complete an assignment thats due tomorrow. Yep i needed this😭😭
Good luck with your assignment!
Thank you. I hope you know how much your messages mean. You must because its obvious that you have lived the same journey.
Thank you very much 💗💗
Thank you for everything….
Right on time
This sounds almost identical to what I’m currently feeling. I’m 17, almost 18 atm and I’ve always been set on studying engineering and pursuing this to build a buisness of my own and having an entrepreneurial lifestyle, however with every day that goes by, I learn more and more about my true self and my sincere desires, and am now looking to study physics instead as something more theoretical, but still similar. Although, I’m starting to realise that I too have strong developing interest in phycology and philosophy and maybe this will be something I will pursue in the future? Who knows, I’m just going to stick with physics for now because it has a lot of hidden transferable concepts to phycology and I will still be learning and expanding my brain in the end! Anyway, I love ur vids man, they’ve been a huge help 💜🤍
Sounds like you don't wanna study physics either, just psychology or philosophy, but are too scared to do it so you're compromising again and will feel unsatisfied in the near future. Hope that isn't the case or if it is you dare to decide and do what's right for you no matter how scary
I love this
What if someone’s authentic self is a murderer? Should they live out their authenticity?
I am self-disciplined with myself! ☺️☺️☺️
Having an intention is one thing, but executing that intention is another. When you authentically set an intention, you naturally desire to execute and apply a strategy for success. The problem is that we often get bogged down by boredom and other emotions.
Self-control is about overcoming these emotions. Even when facing these challenges, we remain true to ourselves.
Thanks a lot
So being an alcoholic drug addict who is addicted to every self destructive behavior in the world is "just being your authentic self" and you shouldn't change it in order to live a happier and healthier life?
No that's not what he's saying. What he's saying is do the things that genuinely make you who you are deep down. Those things that are truly fulfilling to ones natural self. A drug addict or alcoholic isn't even in a state to make a long term commitment to their well-being without "help". "Real Supportive Help". Your example is far too extreme for what this video is even discussing.
being someone else because society is different is not self-control. DOING WHAT YOU NEED TO DO BECAUSE YOU SEE WHAT NEEDS TO BE CHANGED FOR YOU TO BETTER IS SELF CONTROL. staying in the same addictions does not help you
Ohhhhh so that's why In not able to motivate myself to wash the dishes!! It's just not my true self now it makes sense...
I felt it 😢 4:40
Beautiful ❤
being disciplined by exercising and eating healthy has nothing to do with denying your true self. in agree with the rest of the video though
I'm trying to eat healthy and going to the gym regularly. I'm getting there
For me self discipline is like i dont tell my mind to not to do this or this will affect you but insted i gave my mind some time like ok we will do it but lets do it after some workouts session
I have a friend who says he should get in shape but in his heart doesn’t want to. I don’t respect that. It’s sad and gross.
I agree with the whole slave thing, But in order to achieve you own authentic ideal, (if you even think you know what it is) you really must sacrifice your present moment and do things that your current self does not like. I really think you overshadowed this concept.
amazing video
thanks...i failed all my exams
These videos really feel like advertising for Brillant wrapped in a self develop cover. Do we really need 2 minutes at the end of each video showcasing the app?
Thanks