Full Story: Kidney Stones | Jim Breuer Stand Up Comedy
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- čas přidán 30. 04. 2023
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#JimBreuer #Comedy #standupcomedy - Komedie
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Have your doc test for uric acid. If you've had gout then a kidney stone is not uncommon. High uric acid produces stones.
I'm already subscribed to you Jim .
Good medicine, this was! Listened in exam room while waiting for the dr, to try to help bring down some anxiety but we were laughing so hard we couldnt breathe most of the time! We are watching for a date you come to Pittsburgh! Blessings, Brother!
hell yeah ! ty so much .... more needed then you think
Yes sir!
My wife and I got to meet Jim backstage before his April 1st show in CT. We have never laughed so hard in our lives. I thought the woman next to me was going to pass out. If you get a chance to see his show, you won't be sorry.
Michael Jackson faint vibes from the 80s type shit huh? That's an awesome memory Steve
I'm from CT, how were the drivers?
Lol that's awesome! I would love to see Jim live he makes me laugh so hard. 😅😂
Went to the same show. I live in CT also. Jim is stupid funny. Like he make you laugh so hard your head feels like it’s going to explode
We saw him recently in San Antonio. It was incredible!
I gave birth to a 9lb 10oz baby boy...and I have passed kidney stones. I would deliver 10 more babies if I could never have another kidney stone!!! 🤔😜🤣
My mother in law said the same thing! The baby was about the same weight too. I had them once and it was awful. Took 5 days to pass . Worst pain I’ve experienced hands down.
Amen! I've delivered 3 children and over a dozen kidney stones. The immediate pain from kidney stones is so much worse. On a side note, the kidney stones go away... The kids, not so much.
Jim. Breuer is so underrated, his comedy is absolute gold.
He's not underrated, he suppressed for certain views he's expressed. It's BS but he's one of the GOATS. Look up what Chappell said to him on the set of Half Baked.
Thank you ⏫I was about to get on here and say the exact
Saw him live a few months ago, he about killed me from laughing so hard.
I've said this for years. The only explanation for him not being viral is the CZcams algorithm shutting him down. He should've exploded long ago.
I just pee'd a little
The fact that Jim can be this funny without being vulgar just shows how talented he truly is. I didn't think anyone could match Robin Williams story telling till I watched Jim. If ya get a chance watch his interview with Glen Beck, he has an amazing story to tell.
I agree. I have seen his interview with Glenn Back. I was fantastic.
You are so right! Have u seen him tell the story about working at the paint dept in sears, valley stream long Island? Lol 😂hilarious it was a "what happened was" episode from vh1 I believe
literally makes dick jokes...
If you can stand anymore than one minute of Beck that speaks chapters on your lack of character. That’s one rung down the ladder from Alex Jones in the crazy climb.
@@williambrandondavis6897, just your comment alone tells me all I need to know about you, your self imposed ignorance, and your lack of intelligence. The fact that you seem to think that I give a damn what you think tells me about your arrogance.
Bless you. I have a history of kidney stones. I was terrified the first time because I had no idea what was happening. I was terrified every time after because I knew EXACTLY what was happening.
I'm not sure if I should laugh my butt off out loud. Or stifle it so you can't hear me.
My son gets em and I'm in pain just watching him. If I showed him your comment, he would laugh his ass off.
My son said it's a feeling you'll never forget.
Love to you both. ❤❤❤
Brewer is still one of the top greatest and funniest story tellers IMO, right up there with Chappelle. Priceless and sooo true.
Im one of the greatest
Chappell, lol. I bet your favorite band is the Beetles. Fad’s are never the best. Fad’s are the equivalent to a mob with pitch forks and torches. They are pretty much always wrong. The product of followers.
Jim>Dave
@@williambrandondavis6897198 likes to your 3 lol
Kidney stones are the worst pain i ever had, so i can relate to this!
At 46 years old I was one of the sorry SOBS that got kidney stones. And I will say this, it was without a doubt the absolute worst pain I ever had. If you can imagine starting at your kidneys and working its way through your urethra and out your johnson peeing out red hot barbed wire you are halfway there. I have snapped bones clean, but kidney stones are the only thing that hurt bad enough to make me puke. And I don't mean that I have a tummy ache puking, I mean that I puked out pieces of candy I ate, and chunks of gum I swallowed when I was 10 years old.
Brewer is a National Treasure!
Yes, take care of him and all your other treasures. (With great greetings from the Donetsk People's Republic).
I think you mean Treazure
@@IukaOldFarts 😂
💯%!!!
@@IukaOldFarts yeuer correct 😆
I’m not often sick but I am today with fever. I was just laughing out loud uncontrollably. Thank you Jim for shining sunshine into my day. I hope to meet you one day. You’re an American hero and the funniest guy out there.
🙏🏻 Prayers for a speedy recovery SHIFTY.
Oh boy I already feel the pain from laughing 😂
I'm an army vet and the VA let me carry my kidney stone for a few weeks...let me tell you pain. They couldn't get me to hold still when they finally removed it. And man the flow max keeps you up at night as well.
My late friend that died from prostate cancer told me he always shaked hands with the doctor to see how big fingers he had so he would have time to abort inspection and run away if the fingers were thick.😂this made me laugh so much and remember my dear friend and his eternal humour until the very end. Thank you.
😂 I can relate. I had a hemorrhoid when I was in my late teens early 20s and I had to go to the butt doctor. This guy had fingers like sausages. He was fairly large and had these big thick fingers. And when he went in to "inspect" it did not feel good. That's all I'm gonna say
@@jbellflower83 🤣I think I feel for you because my buttocks are clenching
It seems like your friend had a sense of humor regardless of his predicament; My dad was the same - He too died of prostate cancer. He'd crack jokes and I could return a few to him - one being is that gold flakes were injected into his prostate so that the lazers used to kill the cells could target on the cancer cells. So, I joked with him saying he was "The man with the golden @$$hole! " He loved it. I miss him but his humor many times overpowers the grief of losting him.. My condolences for you and your friend. Cancer sucks!
@@johndenicola6173 thank you, and I am sorry that you had to go through this journey with your dad (one of the jokes were about that gold to be a gold member) and glad to know you can warm up to the good memories. It is important. That is how we keep their memories alive.
@@huldaherna3935 Thank you my friend! Yes, that was my dad. I have my moments of grief, but it is generally VERY short lived for I always remember something funny he said, did, his occasional klutzy moments, so being who he was and even how he left this world! He was still cracking jokes, even a "practical joke" with one of my nephews... and this was when he was so weak, anything he said was a very quiet whisper. He was mentally,spiritually and gradefully ready to leave this world, so he made his last moments that he could count! Thank you again for your kind words!
The fact Jim can play off the stoner look and be clean is phenomenal. Helps his goofy bit. Love it. IMO
He looks, sounds and acts more like a buzzed alcoholic than a pot smoker.
Jim is a comic legend!!! He’s been around for almost 30 years!! and is STILL as hilarious as he’s ever been!
I can’t remember the last time I cried and my face and chest hurt from laughing. To be at a place where you are that good at story telling and millions of people watch. So blessed. Jim that was drop dead stupid funny.
I pee sitting down. I had 3 women in the house and got sick of being yelled at for leaving the seat up and them falling in in the middle of the night.
I know exactly how he feels.
That was just as freakin hilarious as I thought it would be. Thank you for the laughs Jim. I needed this more than you know..
Jimmy Breuer has been making me
laugh my ssA off since I was 12 years old
and he was on MTV Spring Break
talking about "Taffy."
Back then, Jim used to literally
fist fight himself and I almost
didn't make it to 13... I was gonna
die laughing.
He's one HELL of a FUNNY Man,
and we're lucky to have him.
The guy is literally a part of the last years of my childhood memories,
during a time when music was incredible,
and there was comedy to match it.
Coming of age in the early 1990's.
I loved that show! Wish it was on CZcams. I used to have them all on VHS tapes. Taffy Man was my favorite! He also had a great bit he did about Rocky that I still repeat to this day!
My god Jim is the funniest, the faces, the voices, his storytelling skills, the physical comesy, he really gives you every single but of himself just to make us laugh. What a great human being! Much love Jim!! You never fail to make me laugh 😂😂😂
My father, one of my aunts, my grandmother and I all get kidney stones. My grandmother was one of those women who said they would rather go through childbirth again than have another stone.
I’ve had 27 stones, 2 children, and broke my hip and femur. I’d rather break a bone while having a baby than have another stone. Just sayin’.
37 years of stones. During that time, I was able to politely ask a bunch of women if they had ever had a kidney stone and given birth naturally.
I kept asking over the years.
Twenty out of twenty women have all said that they would rather give birth naturally than have another kidney stone.
1) You know the baby is coming out!! You never know when or if a stone is going to pass.
He deserves to be on a beer can for that. So brave.
Organic cranberry juice bottle...
His shitting on c 19 was the best thing I’ve ever seen! No other comedian would absolutely smash the whole shit show like he did. Best show I’ve ever seen!
AGREED!!
Anyone got a link, i've searched but they remove that from the search results
A few years ago, I thought I hurt my back because it started to ache, but in a strange way. After a few weeks, it seemed like my back pain was moving lower down my back which was strange. after a few more weeks, I noticed I was always out of breath basically all the time and my resting heart rate increased from ~60 to around ~90bpm, which was quite unsettling for not doing anything. one night, I even had to call an ambulance from bed because my guts/back were aching to such a degree I was worried I was going to pass out and my wife doesn’t drive and I couldn’t get up - pretty well thought I was dying of something terrible. Still remained undiagnosed after going to ER. They said I was having a panic attack! Went to see my doctor and he said probably kidney stones. By then the pain/ache was full on groin like someone was standing on my balls… eventually passed a miniature grain with a sharp how-do-you-do. I was lucky at the end it wasn’t bad really, no blood. I cannot imagine a large stone…
😊l
Stepping in the pee cracked me up so much because I just love getting up in the middle of the night and falling in the toilet as I sit down because my husband has left the seat up! Argh!
Ladies should always check the seat, and men should always put it back down. We all make mistakes from time to time, it's a team effort.
@@williambertels8257 agreed
I can't believe a human can be this funny. Jim Breuer is on another level. WOW!
Damn Breuer! That was the best ride I've been on in a LONG LONG while. Love every second of your comedy. Thank you so much
Been there, done that brother. Extremely painful. I wasn't passing stones (plural), I passed a stone a little smaller than a dime. Yeah, blood and all. Ended up being a calcium oxalate stone. Thank you for the laugh.
Natural stone maker here.
Since I was 21. It’s been a tough 37 years of continuous back cramps and ice picks.
Those who know, know.
A dime? How?
I don't care who you are if you're not laughing you don't have a pulse that was the funniest thing I've heard all year! Breuer is amazing
PLEASE JIM We want more Comedy Specials on CZcams......U are The Best Down to Earth Comedian Ever....👍😎
From personal experience he's correct on EVERYTHING 😂.
When ya know, ya KNOW!
Ya he is!!! Life is great!
Oh dear God. I haven’t hurt that hard in my ribs in a long time! God bless you man. God bless you Jim!
I didn't know I had a kidney stone until I was peeing blood.Went to E.R. and nurse looks at me and says welcome to the club,gives me a cup to pee in,bring it back she laughs and says I asked for a urine sample not a blood sample,would you like morphine yes please .And then a few years later my gallbladder said hold my beer😂
The title said kidney stone, and boy did we not expect that ending. Way to keep us in our seats for the good stuff my man.
Thanks Jim, I've watched this a few times and it's funnier every time ! My dad lived to the age of 86. He would say; "If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself!" Your intro warmly reminded of my father !
The man just described my past 2 kidney stones haha. Something so small and painful can be so funny in the right hands haha
I’m 55 and just had my first check engine light kidney stones. Oh my Lord I had no idea what I was in store for.
I had stones at 51. No piss would come out at all. The worst pain I ever had.
@@phil-1115 advice in preventative measures for an 80s kid would be appreciated 👍🏼
@@JaymanNVK, Get away from sodas. I thought it would be impossible, but it isn't. I use to drink Coke,, Big Red, Root Beer, or Mountain Dew at every meal. I strictly drink water and unsweet tea now. Drink as much water as possible. It helps to clean the toxins out.
Pure agony, and one of the worst parts was my body went freezing and I couldn’t warm up and stop shivering. I imagine that’s what it feels like when you’re bleeding out. 😑
Instant classic. I’ve been watching Breuer for a long time, and this is absolutely the funniest set I have seen from him. Probably because I related to the story so much.
I had a kidney stone two years ago at 28. I fought it for 6 months and it was the worst pain I’ve ever had. I had to go in twice to get it removed because it was so inflamed. My point is I should of listened to my wife.
I had mine come on suddenly. The worst pain I have ever had in my life.
Stop eating dairy
@@gme10955 Limit your dairy intake. Too much calcium also causes stones. Too much of anything is bad for you.
I legit thought I was dying lmao
With that stent.. I'd rather kill myself than do that again. At 38 I began keeping a couple depends in my work bag. A 15mm and an 8mm in my left, right was free for whatever reason. I am unfortunately highly allergic to that Azo and I had gotten the maximum strength version. So I'm in pain insides, my side and my asshole feeling like they're gonna blow up, and it always felt like I had to pee.. except when I actually had to pee! .. and then I wasn't making it all the way to the john, I'd barely be able to get there that I'd pinch the tip to quash the dribble I started dropping it into the sink. I had to hang on to that door jamb for dear life as I passed some of them "cranberries"! Nope nope nope, kill me. And after the extra corporeal shock wave lithotripsy and the shards pass, still, from kidney to bladder and I feel like I'm getting stabbed, well to take the stent out the donut with a topical numbing hell, I mean gel.. anyways imafflicted by mc1r and you can look that up.. yeah nope nope nope and nope.. kill me.
Jim, thank you for the laugh.. the being able to relate makes it all the funnier
"Elbows on the table"----------omg had me dying!!!!! Watched that part like 5 times. Classic. My abs actually hurt from laughing.
Tough crowd tho.
Listen to the audience laughing, you describe your experience so well that they can picture the entire story. Awesome job!
Thank you brother it’s nice to have a belly laugh and face that hurts from laughing again you were like therapy true therapy truthful therapy
Some people say the truth hurts the truth is also super funny thank you
Jim makes me laugh about one of the most painful experiences of my life. His didn't even sound as painful...mine lasted 2 weeks! Thanks for the laughs!
One day shy of 3 weeks for my most recent TWO f'n simultaneous stones!
10 months of bright red pee, soul crushing back cramps and a personality change later, I went to Mexico for treatment. That was an experience I will never forget!
The stone was 1.2 cm long, by .7 cm wide by .3 cm thick.
And it had the same basic shape as a pinto bean. Except that it was made from thousands of tiny arrowheads all cemented together in random directions.
After the Mexican Dr. pulled it out, I was able to do jumping jacks without pain for the first time in a year. Of course I bled pretty bad for a few days, but the Dr put a stent in to keep the urine flowing while it was healing.
That was some of my experience with the biggest stone I ever had.
After 37 years of chronic kidney stones, that one still stands out.
Oofda I can't imagine!
Poor Jim! Thanks for making this a really hilarious story!
Oh goodness, this brings back fond memories. It’s not kidney stones, but imagine you live in Japan, don’t seek Japanese very well, can’t and haven’t peed in 4 days, are in the emergency room with 4 nurses, 3 doctors and your wife all hovering over your junk like aliens at a probing party. Literally nothing in life has been that painful or that embarrassing or that strange ever in my life.
People pay good money for that!
That must have been one hell of a night! Glad you got through it.
Brewer is on another level, plain and simple!
Heard plenty of stories when I was a kid. Mom was a nurse. Had a few scares when I was in my 20's and 30's. The big examination when I was 40. Never had a kidney stone.
Me either thank God.
I don't think there is anyone that can top this guy. Everytime I see him it's hysterical laughter like constantly plus always new hilarious material. I respect the other big ones out there but this MAN is the PEAK of stand up comedy. What a LEGEND!!
Holy moly, he's the best story teller. He never fails to bring me to tears laughing 🤣
Thank you Jim for the years of laughter, you're one of the best! Im 60 and don't have much time and pretty frightened, however when i need some relief from grief i usually tune into your channel and it helps a great deal, even if its 5 minutes, its still a well needed break from my fear. This story, the African safari and Sears long live paint are my top three. Best shorts are "soccer suuuckkks" and " oh, i really must get a closer view" (english accent). Lets not forget the lion " you know we have to eat you".
I could go on for hours with your dialogue, but its bedtime. Be good and God bless your wife and family.
Guys, take it from me, don't be a weenie, get that prostate exam! Frank Zappa for example.
Much prayers
Amen!
This has to be one of the funniest stories Ive heard from you. I was laughing out loud the entire time.
I agree, but the Chinese Balloon had me near to fainting from laughter😂.
Just listening to the women laughing is more than enough to show you how incredibly accurate Jim is being right now! 😂😂😂😂❤❤❤
On of the funniest men ON EARTH!
Dude! That bit was flawless!!!🤣🤣🤣
Omg. I can't stop laughing. I needed this. Thank you. You have a gift.
The donkey bit had me in tears!!
You never disappoint, Jim. 😂 Seriously, God Bless & keep you. You are an amazing treasure to humanity. ❤
Your gift keeps us sane & I'm so grateful it keeps on giving! 💋
Beautiful sentiment.
Jim is frikkin hilarious.. I was in stitches.. lol
Sorry Jim, it can’t be worse than having 11 sets of eyes anxiously watching your cooter for hour waiting for a baby to arrive.
🤣🤣🤣
I had like 3 in a year. Reflexology is what finally cured me. I didn't know what it was the first time either. Thought I was dying lol.
Drink lemon juice, it’s tough the first sip but then gets almost sweet, and brush your teeth after. It melts stones & soooooo much better than passing a stone.
As a person who passed 9 stones I can attest to Jim's Experience 💯 percent 😂
I can't wait to play this for my husband at dinner and watch his expression as he remembers. Except he went septic and ended up in the ICU. We can laugh now...Edit. I played we laughed , now.
When do those start exactly? I'm curious and nervous...I'm not young
@@JaymanNVK Age doesn't matter, more often male. Causes not enough water intake, high protein diet, sodium,sugar, genetics Just do a quick read that way if It ever happens you can recognize the symptoms. An yes men can get a uti. They are deeper in the kidneys mostly elderly men.
Jay they start at any time mine started at age 40 then after that eesh
Mercy
Thank God I was in the tub when I watched this or I would have pissed all over the floor.
Jim is one of the greatest of all time.
Oh! Thanks, Jim! Thanks for bringing back some fond memories of my past. Geez! My palms are sweating from anxiety over that! Plus, it was hilarious, too! Another "fun thing from the backside" is getting an injection known as "the peanut butter shot." It is a penicillin shot that feels like you are being injected with peanut butter!! And yes, it leaves a bump!! Then there are the injections where you go to roll up your sleeve and you are told "Uh, no. Turn around and pull your pants down." That never ends up well! Thanks for the fine flashbacks, Jim! 😉👍👍
I watch this several times a week!! It makes me laugh out loud and I need that right now!! Watch his new video about him and his wife rescuing a little kitten!!
I haven't cried that hard in a loooong time. For all comedians...THAT'S how you story-tell without using foul language every other word.
The irony. I guess if you just use medical terms it won't offend prudes.
@@icecl0ud LOL, good find in your dictionary lil boy. When you grow up - had a child... you may catch on. MAY.
What a great storyteller. Long live paint.
Sorry you had to go through that, but your story is hilarious!
Freaking awesome and so true JB! You truly are getting even better as you age! Keep up the great work and thank you for giving us joy!
God bless you and your loved ones.
Jim Breuer is my spirit animal. Now as a husband i get it all. Thanks Jim.
The most underrated comic I'm my opinion.
He's not aligned with the pervasive narrtive
Inialating! Always a comedic assassin; bless you Jim, rock-on.....
Man, the doctor scene and the donkey noises, had me cryin! Funny as hell!
thanks for starting this Monday with good belly laughs!
Hands down the funniest human on the planet...PERIOD!! Love you, Jim!!
Where can we see this full routine?
We all laughed to keep from crying Jim....we promise😂
Been a long time since i laughed this hard dude ... Thanks !!
Thanks for watching!
I LOVE Jim…hes the best!!!❤️
We need videos of full shows, could setup a payment plan or something cuz I need more, I cant get enough! My face and belly hurt from laughing 😂
Love you Jim, you always make me laugh💖 your 1 of kind!! Godbless
Absolutely hilarious 😂
God I love Breuer, had me rollin!!!! The donkey impersonation had me crying!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Goat boy strikes!
I remember my husband's face the day I got my first kidney stone with him...I was fine and then suddenly I was sooooo not fine. I was begging for death and crying ugly tears.
Glad you made it through it!
Oh my goodness! I needed that laugh today 😂 Now I have to ask, how many of the ladies in your household have “fallen in” because you left the seat up? Grossest feeling ever! 🤪
Jim you are the best!!! I love your stories and how your life is your work of comedy which I find so rare in other comedians. I know you exaggerate and put your twists in the stories but your stories are what makes you engaging and how people can relate with you. Its even more rare for a comedian not to have a curse word every other word. I curse too but some comedians curse way too much and takes away from what they’re trying to say. I’m one of your biggest fans and I just love ya. I truly hope you never get kidney stones ever again!!!!!
Agreed! Amen!
Kidney Stones are no joke.....they suck sooooooooo bad
only Jim Breuer can make this freaking hilareous!!!!!
Best bit I've seen in years, and I'm a comedy fan. Props Jim, that was tits!
As someone who has had about 12 kidney stones, I can assure you this is only funny when it is about someone else. He never told one lie. If anything he under sold it. I saw a kidney stone put a 6-3 250 pound heavy machinery mechanic on the floor like a small child throwing a temper tantrum. Was not funny at the time, but he told that story for years as we nearly cried.😂😂😂He was a great man by the way.
I love you Jim.
Thanks for the laughs.
The funniest kidney stone story I've heard I'm😂🤣
This dude is a comedic genius
Holy crap! That's one of the funniest things I've watched in years!
"Elbows on the Table" has to be the title of your next Special.
You just almost killed me with the Donkey bit... I literally almost passed out!!! Good stuff!!!
Omg Jim you killed it 👍💯 I just cannot believe that you don't have waaay more views on this video 🙄😳
Dude, this is Richard Pryor grade comedy chops (minus the profanity). You've got GAME..
made me cry again Jim...tears of full 100% LAUGHTER!!
I haven't laughed that hard in years! Oh man, did I need that! Thanks, Jim.
I've had the worst year of my life, splitting up with my wife after 28 years of marriage.
Jim Breuer has had me crying for a totally different reason.....hysterical laughter.
Jim....just be glad you didn't need a cystoscopy.
I've had multiple kidney stones and did my own stand up on getting that done.
Horror show.