STORY TIME: HOW I FOUND OUT MY HUSBAND IS GAY *DOWN LOW MEN* | YVONNE QUEEN
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 26. 06. 2021
- HEY GUYS!! đ€
WELCOME BACK TO MY CHANNEL STORY TIME EDITION!! THIS STORY IS ABOUT HOW I FOUND MY HUSBAND IS ON THE DOWN LOW. THIS WAS DEFINITELY A SHOCKER AND SOMETHING I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH. THIS STORY ISN'T TO OFFEND ANYONE, ITS JUST SIMPLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES SO YOU PURPOSES AS WELL EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES. HOPEFULLY SOMEONE CAN LEARN FROM MY DECISIONS AND INSPIRE SOMEONE IN A SIMILAR SITUATION. LETS LAUGH AT THIS TOGETHER AND SHARE STORIES. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED LOVE AND SUPPORT.
DISCLAIMER: THIS STORY IS 100% TRUE. NO NAMES WERE USED TO PROTECT THE IDENTITY OF OTHERS.
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* Age: 28
* Race: Black
* Camera: Canon 90D + 18-35mm lens kit
* Editing: Final Cut Pro X - Jak na to + styl
The worst part isnât even him being gay, itâs him cheating and lying for so long :/
He could just be bisexual lol
Wonder why he felt like he needs t do that? Smh. He shouldnât have to hide himself
Thatâs literally not a reason to KILL someone tf
him being gay is still a part of it because usually closeted men treat the women use a certain way whether they're cheating or not
Thatâs definitely the worst part for a heterosexual woman
This is the thing, not many people care that you are gay. Itâs when you manipulate straight people to be with you for a cover up is when it becomes a problem. This will get you hurt or killed in the black community. Be who you are, just leave us out of it. Glad you are out of that mess, blessings to you!
Exactly
I donât think this is the truth. Iâve seen Black men be killed, jumped, beaten, abandoned by their entire family &/or lose their job/career potential by choosing to be openly gay. Straight people care very much, itâs why rappers never discuss the missing Black women but constantly discuss Lil Nas X & every post he makes.
@@MorganDanielleBeauty Some may care, but I also want to rephrase my initial response. Thereâs more of us who donât care. Iâm going to stick to the story she is telling in this video and double down on the manipulation of straight people is a NO NO!!!
This!!!! Donât use straight people as a cover up it ends up hurting both parties
@@MorganDanielleBeauty but sheis telling the truth this has to be said loid, why are gays using straight people to hide their sexuality? Straight people have feelings too, we can't always consider gay people's feelings while ignoring their manipulation and means to straight people.
When I was in high school my first âboyfriendâ was DL. He was the most manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive person on the planet. He would embarrass me in front of others, intentionally leave me out or ignore me or talk down to me. He acted like I annoyed him in every way and he was feminine but I just was in denial and made excuses. I finally dumped him bc I couldnât understand why I was being treated that way. Eventually he came out. Iâm glad I learned the lesson early on: if a man is feminine and showing red flags but also in a relationship with you and treating you like dirt for no reason, heâs probably repressed and taking it out on you. I never made that mistake again. Happily married for 16 years. I pray you find a man worth your time!
Amen.
I donât have a problem people being gay lesbian by or pansexual and transgender.
But Iâm sorry to hear about that, just because his sexuality. Doesnât excuse him to be treating you like that, he shouldnât take it out on other people like you. If he canât be happy, honest and true to himself.
He shouldnât be dating somebody, because heâs scared of his own sexuality. Iâm glad youâre happy and moving on.
đŻ
Gay men hate women because they wish they were us.
This is EXACTLY how my ex was.
Except heâs 45 and Iâm 40.
When I calmly asked him if he ever thought about sex with a man, he squeezed the air out of my lungs and I woke up in the hallway.
To this day, I honestly have no idea what the hell that man is battling with.
This is a character problem, not a gay problem, and I'm sick of people using their sexuality/struggles as an excuse to abuse another person, risk their health, and sanity..
It really is.
I am with a man who I have felt very insecure with. Something my gut tells me is not to trust him and I have caught him checking out other men. He is 45, no kids, never been married and was not very experienced if you know what I meanâŠeven his touch, itâs like heâs never touched a woman before. So I am paranoid and crazy for having these thoughts, according to him.
â@@nicolehageman5978Get rid of him before you get HIV.
Skirts, suspect friends, grinding....we gotta stop closing our eyes to the truth.
I was thinking this story was gone be one of those where the signs were so subtle that I was thinking he played her but DAMN the signs were THERE smacking her in the face. Love is blind and glad sheâs out of that situation.
@@rihrih2013 same here! I hate that women feel pressured to have a man that they overlook the obvious. Love isn't blind, shoot. Most women just put on shades.
I definitely donât want to place blame but all the textbook signs were there.
She was young,we all were there at some point.
Exactly đ
Sometimes a man hurts every women that enters his life because his true soulmate is a man
đđ
OKAY!
đđ
đŻ
That part
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Actions speak louder than words. He was giving you RED BANNERS.
Literally this video saved my life, today I felt the depression of this happening to me 2 years ago and being blamed for his ways and the mistreatment from it. Like I'm still broken spiritually, emotionally and physically ill from this. More than often I feel like I'm just existing and feel beyond hollow inside. No amount of therapy and meds is helping....feeling so alone and then watching this has helped me today. Thank you for sharing.
đđđđđ @ivory
Jesus loves you! Stay strong sister, it will get better đđŸ
Praying for you. So sorry you experienced that.
I Just prayed for you! Surrender everything to the Lord!!!
Thank y'all
Ladies NEVERâŠand I mean NEVER discredit what you feel!!!! The world calls it your intuition, believers call it the Holy Spirit. Call it what you will but ALWAYS TRUST IT!!!
PEOPLE OF GOD IF YOU ARE READING THIS THE LORD IS TRYING TO GET YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION HEâS GIVING YOU ANOTHER CHANCE TO REPENT AND SAVE YOUR SOUL!!!
Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and Savior.
đŻ đŻ đŻ
Pray and ask the Lord to give you the gift of DISCERNMENT this will help you distinguish the difference between what is GOOD for you and what is BAD for you. He will allow us to see what his EYES see behind CLOSED doors and once he REVEALS the TRUTH just embrace it for what it is and allow him to HEAL, DELIVER and SET you FREE so you can move FORWARDđ
@@chosenonpurpose489 Amen!!Amen!! Amen!! đŻ agree with your comment.
Amen ooh Lord
As a gay man I can tell you from the minute she started talking about this I saw the red flags instantly. I think women often times donât trust their intuition. I hope you got tested. I hate you had to experience this. Situations like these make women feel like they canât trust men.
it's true - I think women get gaslighted a lot more because of second-guessing themselves or maybe desperately wanting to believe in a fairy tale.
We do I think my son father is gay .. my intuition always told me I even asked him .. just live ya truth
Wowwwwww. This comment just me think of where are my gay guy friends at to analyze this situation I am overthinking, but it looks like from what youâre saying I should just stop questioning myself. My intuition knowsâŠ.
@@yellowonion2509 same
@@yellowonion2509 why do you think he's gay lol
Welp Iâm here for a reason and I hate that I am..6 years and found out he was DL today..my childâs father..beyond hurt and not sure where to go from hereâŠpraying God restores me and heals me
Iâm sorry to hear this. May you find peace, happiness again and the right man to love you unconditionally â€. Praying for your strength.
This happened to me I never looked at men the same since Iâm trying to get over it but itâs unreal that a man could love you and put your life at risk daily
THATS FUCKED UPP PERIOD FOR A MAN TO MESS AROUND WITH A DUDE AND PLAY WITH A REAL WOMAN FEELINGS
Idk whatâs more disturbingâŠthe video or the fact that you have 1.5K comments of women who have similar experiences đł
The comments .. definitely the comments
That part ââ
Indeed!
lol. the 2nd one. crazy!
Fareal
I dated a guy that I found suspect ...I told him about my suspicion and told him if he was I am not here to judge him ...I gently told him that he should live in his truth ...that man broke down and cried ...I could see the fear and confusion in him...but u know what my approach and support gave him the courage to admit to himself and family that he was gay ...to this day we are friends...sometime fear and shame cause people to hide and deceive
kudos to you for handling that situation with compassion. everybody is just trying to survive and get by in life. if people would be more accepting and compassionate, people would not have to lie and create facades.
This is how you do it. Be open and cool about it and they will just admit it to you freely
awww this is such a cute comment. i love how you gave him support
I understand to certain point but do not waste a woman's time marrying her or having a child with her.
Thanks for this comment.
I had this happen to me and I can tell you it hurt me to my soul. My heart broke in a million pieces. The deception was real..đą
I m sorry it happened to you and I hope you feel better now. Don't let him break your spirit on top of what he did, you deserve better
My BD was down low and is now with a cross dresser. Same cross dresser neighbor he claimed to hate. Whole time that was his man
đđđđđđ
He could have told you he was gay in the beginning and yâall could have been besties instead!
Heâd have to tell me in the beginning before I find myself wanting him though lol
@@MsJae-qk2tw lol right
đ Facts
He shouldn't try to be with a woman if he's gay. I wouldn't want to be his bestie if he sleeps with me knowing he's gay. I wish she had left sooner.
@@melissajohnson8696 Iâm talking bout before a relationship begin and before they catch feelings lol
You canât watch out for it because theyâre so crafty with it! You think they out playing basketball and they playing with each otherâs balls!
Bhahaha đ đđ€Łđ€Šđżââïž... No truer words were ever spoken ...
Lmaoo
đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
OMG the way I just hollered at this comment lol. Hilarious!
Oh may đđđ
100% this is the worst betrayal that a man can do to a woman.
No lie, I think this has happened to most women but a lot of us donât know. I felt in my bones that my ex was like this, he never admitted it but there were đ© all over the place. I wonât trust any man now.
The man was battling the demon within. He knew you were a beautiful woman made for him. He went with the demon that enticed his perversions.
Literally every animal on the planet part takes in homosexual activities, especially our closet relatives.
"Women's intuition" is real. It's a gift from God that we were born with. Never ever doubt yourself. Go with your gut. Ask questions. Be protected! When all else fails, get you a gay friend who can help you when your gaydar is off.
100% always đ
Not gaydar đ
What if it dont walk like a duck or talk like a duck? Then how would I know?
@@chantaychani4045 It always comes to the light. Always. Not overnight but it gets exposed some way
@@chantaychani4045 Whenever you take your time to get to know someone, the truth is always revealed. Ifsomething feels off, ask questions and take notes. If a person is lying or deceitful, inconsistencies show up if you keep your eyes open. As my dad always says "only fools rush in".
Your first sign was when he tried to commit self harm ever time you tried to break up with him. Anyone that does that is manipulative as fuck!
That's also an effeminate form of suicide.
TRUTH!
They know who to do it to. Cause someone like me won't feel bad. I have alway bn aware that its selfish and manipulative
Yep
Absolutely on point sis!
After reading theese comments I truly feel like we are rapidly nearing the days of Sodom and Gomorrah đą
Very soon!!!
â@@StephanieNiecey we have surpassed Sodom long ago. Long long ago. Jesus is coming repent and Believe the Gospel
Listen.. I dated a DL man. You can always tell. In some cases (Not all) theyâre very close to their sisters . Always in their business like a female.also the eyes and his mannerisms told me everything. I called him out on it when we got into a heated argument. I struck a nerve. He started messaging me from a fake Facebook account with an attractive man on it.. weird .also most DL men are child molestors or sexually attracted to little boys. Be careful ladies please. Do your homework
Honestly this isnât even a down low story. Wearing skirts, twerking on you, excitedly going to dinner with other men, up all night giggling over another manâs textâŠ.. he wasnât down-low you were naive. Thank goodness youâre out of that situation. Youâre beautiful
Definitely the signs were âV8ingâ her in the forehead
EXACTLY
But he never straight up told her: hey Iâm gay or bi. So yes still down low because even though thereâs signs heâs not out .
Yup!!! Same thoughts!! Like sheâs wonderful and no judge mental, but homie was clear as day!
Exactly
I wish more men can own up to being bisexual. As a gay man, it would be easier for ALL parties involved. Sorry you went through this.
Jesus Christ loves you more than you could ever know.
I swear just leave us out of that shit
@@egoagbo8574 The fuck does Jesus Gotta do with this
@@trinarenaye5202 who is us
Exactly, Ive dated bisexual men before, but they were honest and open. There is a difference between being gay and downlow and a closeted bisexual. She didnt go into their sex life but that would give more light into what the real situation was.
I lived with 2 gay men when I lived in San Diego, one of them was "homo thug", that was the term and the other was I guess you could call I regular guy, you would have no idea they were gay. I saw so many married men come through that house I lost count. I saw guys I was stationed with,I saw people's boyfriends, siblings, there are a lot of men on the down low, bi-curious and just bi-sexual. Ladies my besties are gay, if you think your man is gay he most likely is. You are not crazy, or imaging things, he just likes having sex with other men.
YES girl. My ex husband (a marine) told me when he went over sea after the 911. I'm home with his son. On the phone. He had got intimate with another guy before we got married đ mind you we knew each other since highschool. How the ff you don't tell me. I refuse to keep this secret. My kids will grow up and know EVERYTHING.
I almost dated a down low dude. But first before I got serious with himI let my pastor meet him. Well my pastor had a meeting with him. After the meeting my pastor told me to run he battling with his sexual identity. And I listen to my pastor I stopped talking to him. Years later I saw him in the store he was still single and feminine acting, I said to myself thank God for a spirit filled pastor. Iâm happily married 13yrs. Praise God.
Let the church say amen! Now this is a covering
Amen
I'm sure the pastor should knowđu leave him go fastđso the pastor can (counsel) him....you go on & let the pastor handle himđfor sure
Judgemental pastors in the church lol. And folks wonder why people turn away from religion.
@@freedfromsociety_7950 maybe people should come out of sin and get saved before itâs to late. Pastors preach for your benefit not their own. You will die one day and go somewhere heaven or hell there is no in between. I suggest you choose Jesus and go to heaven romans 10:9, you canât go without him.
My cousin married a man who was gay âdown lowâ and had a child. When I first met him I thought he was gay by his mannerisms and him styling womenâs hair as well. Even my grandma said she thought he was suspect. Before I could tell my cousin my suspicions they got married. They had a son but divorced once he came out. At this point I think itâs best for people to use our intuition about people. Our intuition is given to us to protect us. The more we listen to it the better we are at recognizing it. Iâm glad you got through the situation.
So true đ
That's messed up. If a man/woman likes the same sex. You shouldn't even try to be in a relationship with them.They like what they like and that's the same sex. I just don't see how anyone can live a life full of make belief and lies.
@@naturalcurlyhair8331 Exactly they out here deceiving ppl trying to cover up they true selves smh sum of these men are terrible
@@naturalcurlyhair8331 I totally agree with you. My cousins ex told her he didnât know for sure if he was gay⊠he was 26 yrs old when they married. Come on now. I knew I liked boys as a young child. I think they are scared to come out because of family and society treating them bad. I get that but donât marry a person if you are unsure or even know you are gay. Stay single.
A dear friend was deceived by a man who was gay but couldn't come out due to his religion so married her (as a cover). After being married for nearly 2 years, they apparently never consumed the marriage and she left him.
I'd never stay with someone for 2 years with no direction of where the relationship is going and would have outed him for being deceptive and in denial of his sexuality!
I had a boyfriend who when we first met he told me up front that he was with a guy prior to me and I told him what else is new ? The fact that he told me up front and let me make my decision as to whether I wanted to be with him is the thing that I respect
Did you stay with him?
@@blkafrocentricusa8429 She did say he was her boyfriend so Iâm guessing they dated for a while.
@@yaboylucas2371 easy way to get HIV
Damnnnnn !!!! Tanya
@@lmontreze lol
I married one too. Thank God I got through the divorce. He still denies it , but EVERYONE knows he's bisexual. As a matter of fact beforehand, it seems like the whole city knew but me and nobody said anything đ
The denial. Looking back I have all these holes I need filled and I canât get any answers. Itâs horribly frustrating. I donât care if heâs gay, I need MY answers to move on.
Um...my friend who was married to her husband of 17 years found out he was gay way too late! He was physically and verbally abusive to her and on top of that, he gave her AIDES! She just recently passed not too long ago and my heart feels for her! MAY SHE REST IN PEACE!đ„! PLEASE BE AWARE WHO YOU GET INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE THIS WORLD IS SO CRUEL!
Dammm these gay men need to be true to themself
This always happens to black women. So terrible. May she Rest In Peace
This is heartbreaking đ
So sad đ
Senting you hugs
PRAYER AND DISCERNMENT FROM GOD WILL KEEP YOU ON POINT FROM THESE UNTRUTHFUL TIME STEALERS
Amen! I agree with you.
This just happened to me. Donât think it doesnât happen to white women. You will look back and see red flags. If he doesnât pursue sex with you and wants a wardrobe that is more expensive than yourâs, there is an issue. I noticed how my common law husband walked and he strutted. I think my ex is trans but I donât know? Girl, itâs so scary and frustrating. My relationship lasted five years. I told my ex that it was ok for us to see other people, and he could live in our home. He still refused to tell me. Your exâs best friend will never believe your ex was gay. Itâs denial. This just happened to me and I donât get it. These men will bad mouth us and talk sh@t about us, when weâre the supportive partners. I ran into the same problem. Every time I would tell him that I was talking to a male friend, he would go crazy. It makes us feel stupid and weâre not.
Yeah my ex was white but definitely in the closet. I found messages in his phone with a gay guy. So it happens to all of us love. You are right
đđđ
White people are way more liberal, open minded and accepting of homosexuality so incidence of DL spouse is lower in terms of percentage but of course much higher in terms of numbers. Ironically, having stronger religious belief leads to more incidence of tragic outcomes from dl behaviors.
We want love, we want marriage, so it's hard to accept the signs. Not just the signs that a guy is gay, but also other signs of problems to come. The biggest one to me was when family and friends thought he might be suspect. The same thing happened to my best friend.
That being said, I'm divorced because my husband had completely different issues. There were signs with my husband also. So we all could do a better job of accepting reality and being good with being single.
I was married to a man who, whilst throwing old clothes out I found a love letter from his long term male lover of six years. He fell apart when I told him I found his love letter tucked in the back of a drawer.. he said he was bi. This was back in the early 90s when it wasn't as accepted to be gay. We ended our relationship a while after after I realised I was just a front. It took me ten years to fully get over the mistrust, and 17 years before we spoke again. It took him 3 failed hetero marriages to realise it wasn't for him and now is living his authentic life gay.
Interesting
Wow đŻ
Damn đŻ
It was accepted in the '90's. He just did not accept himself.
Lol he was ashamed of him self that's why he hid .
Also not all gay liars dress âdifferentâ. Men that are gay definitely dress like men.
Facts
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, dress sense has marginally anything to do with it
They the manliest ones some times đ€Ș
They be wearing street fashion and snap backs đŹ like you canât tell if someone is gay by their clothes
@@Mystixspiral nahhh not all the time, they are some that dress extremely manly like the manliest man you can think of, but they are very much gay but some of them donât bottom
There's a book about this coming out: Deception, Disease, & Desperation: A Man's Guide for Women to Identify and Avoid Closeted Gay Men
This is so textbook and incredibly accurate to what Iâm going through right now.. Iâm married with two kids though đ.. the gut feeling was unlike something I ever felt before and it never went away til I dug and dug.. he denied and denied and denied
Sis....those flags werent red, those flags were BURNING !!!! I'm just glad that you got out when you did. Always, ALWAYS trust your gut feeling. đŻ
I often wondered why most men who struggle with their sexuality are aggressive towards women... It's striking that you made that connection in your previous marriage.
Yea if a man disrespects me I assume he is gay
@@_prettybrownbrown7729 That's narcissistic asf đ€Ł
@@professorxslave1500 narcissistic is not the correct decription. Perhaps assumptive or ill informed are better decriptors, but you dont have enough information about the poster to call them narcissistic. It is a complete misuse of that disorder.
@@nquisitivt I'm going to need you to get familiar with a dictionary or utilize autocorrect to make sure your spelling skills are up to par before coming for me Miss. It's not that serious my dear.
@@professorxslave1500
Literally my exact story. I been dating my boyfriend for 6yrs Iâve literally found emails of him trying to sell his penis. Iâm too afraid to be serious about confronting him and if i try to leave itâs always i love you blah blah. I think Iâm in denial more than anything. I played this video aloud to see if he would say something and low and behold his question was â what are you watching girl â smh. My boyfriend is gay.
Get out please
đ đ đ nothing wrong with being gay but if heâs in prostitution girl leave! Heâs not financially grounded enough to secure a girlfriend and the worst part he can bring you a incurable disease
Just get rid,save yourself from more betrayal and lies. Meet up with your mom,sister, aunt,Nan for advice on what to do.
Your scared to leave but not scared to be told you have HIV. You are dumb. I guess you want to take a pill a day for the rest of your life. God blessed you that you found that email it is your sign to leave and you said your still in denial. Taking a pill everyday is exhausting and not easy not to mention the side effects but I guess thatâs easier than leaving. God forbid you catch anything I donât feel sorry for you.
How did your story unfold?
I partially believe my ex is gay or bi. He told me he kissed another guy a few years before me to try it out and said itâs normal to be curious. I told him I never had confusion on that front and I always liked men. He tried to shame me about not being bicurious like he was. I just had weird suspicions about him.. he still hasnât come out but I feel bad for any other woman he dated next. I feel like I dodged a bullet
Iâve been through this and itâs sad because not only were we married, but we have a child together. It sucks sis and honestly itâs a traumatic experience. To this day I question every man and first sign of anything Iâm outta thereâŠquick!
It's scary and traumatizing. She said he ALWAYS talked about guys at work. That was a sign. No straight man talks about other guys. When I said other guys.. I should've been more specific.. If he's mentioning gay guys at work or anywhere he goes frequently.
Ok I need more Information bc now Iâm scared
Me Tođ€Š..But Only Thing We Had No Children Toogether
đ©â€ïžâđ©čâ€ïžâđ©čâ€ïžâđ©čâ€ïžâđ©čâ€ïžâđ©č peace and healing to you Love so sorry this happened to you
Factsss, I question every man & they might be genuinely straight but I just donât know. Very traumatic.
There's so many men like this and it's very disturbing.
Not me calling up my bf and asking if heâs gayđđđđ girl this story is something else omfgđ€§
Narcissistic DL Men. I married one too. Whats even more embarrassing is he was my 2nd husband. 6 yrs of BS, close to NO sex, and financial abuse. Im so proud of myself for noy allowing shame to keep me there.
If you're husband starts wearing a skirt, that's your sign. If he had "suspect friends," that's also another sign. Us women take too much crap from men.
what type of skirt?
you can wear skirts without being gay lmfao?????
They don't know about Scottish men
Wearing a skirt is not a sign of being gay. Just like black women, gay men arenât a monolith
Whats wrong with having gay friends. You can have gay friends and not be gay yourself, the same way gay people have stright freinds but arent going to turn strigh.
There is a rule of thumb that both me and my friends live by as it pertains to gay or DL men, âif we as women have to ever DOUBT a manâs sexual orientation (meaning not str8) then there is no reason to pursue anything further.â Every time me and my girls have had doubts about âstr8â men who are gay or on the low we have been 100% right. This is simply off of DOUBT and DOUBT alone. Meaning we do not need to investigate or have evidence to substantiate that doubt. Our DOUBT alone will suffice and is more than enough!
đŻ
EXACTLY!!!
Sameeeee! If the smallest doubt comes
To mind, usually thereâs shit
Going on. Energy does not
Lie
Right because a heterosexual man donât give you doubts regardless of what type of guy he is.
I walked in on my ex with a transgender woman in my apartment đ©đ©đ©đ©these down low men really be playing a dangerous game
I've always known I was into men, I always told gfs , I never hid it, there's way more of us than people realize I'm sure
Thank you for being transparent and sharing your story. Women need to hear this.
You were his beard, sweetie. That is why he threatened to off himself if you left. He was a manipulator.
You donât have to belittle her!
@@tblk1860 I don't think she was insulting her. That's literally what it's called when a gay man has a girlfriend/wife.
@@indiashante1560 'a gay man that has a wife/girlfriend'??? i dont think thats called gay! its Bi, if im not mistaken... please correct me.
@@coolrunnings1936 they mean when down low guy has a wife/girlfriend before he comes out
@@kusuoken5687 so he was gay all along, but he still smashed the chick? I'm confused bro. Don't gay men dislike women?
Even though he showed signsđȘ§ ⊠Iâm not placing blame/ being judgemental, we all know what itâs like to be young and in love and dumb and look over shit⊠remember, she met this man at 20, an impressionable age⊠we as women need to show each other grace& understanding⊠lesson learned miss, you know what signs to look for in the future, be safe and peace and blessings on your journey đ
I love this comment. Iâm glad she saw it. Majority of things ppl are commenting she obviously knows now.
đ
So love this comment! Hit the nail on the head.đ
But it's older women doing the same
Yep
âHow do we watch out for that? I donât even knowâ! This resonated with me and I wasnât even married to the dude that did this to me. Also Iâm a white woman and he was 60 years old! You wouldâve thought he had it figured out by now. Truly devastating and still healing 9 mos. later. Hearing stories like yours remind me that itâs not about us.
Wow 60 is crazy
Yeah, being a white woman should've protected you..đź
Sorry this happened to you! Thank you for your courage and strength to share this story with the world, and for that, you are an amazing, beautiful, young woman inside and out!
"Keep not thinking anything of it"... That was your intuition.... Always follow it! You'll never go wrong!
There more black women with this story than you can ever imagine. The problem is that we donât share our stories because weâre too ashamed and traumatized by the reality. The sad part is that theyâre giving sistaâs HIV at an alarming rate. I ask men upfront, âare you gay or have you ever engaged in bisexual activities?â Yea, some may take offense but I DGAF because my health comes first! Sistaâs please protect your body and energy. BTW your hair looks beautiful Dollđ
My mother was 17 when she had me and 19 when she had my brother.. my dad was the same age as her.. his parents moved away to another state. My dad died when I was 15 years old and when I went to the funeral on the friends side there wasnât nothing but men.. I thought nothing of it but it was something that stayed in my mind. Come to find out later in my 30s the real reason behind my fatherâs death was AIDS and he was gay or bisexual idk because I never will be able to speak to him about it but I hurt so bad for my mom because she loved my dad so much she couldnât even make her marriage work because she was still in love with my dad, breaks my heart to not ever know if he loved her too or if he was just a gay man using her to cover up his real heart! She also contracted hiv.. thank God above she is living and the virus through her medication is undetectable!
@@thetravelgoods2760 Thanks for sharing your story đ
Even when you ask they wonât tell you the truth
Amen!!! Amen!! Amen!! Kari Lane đŻ agree with your comment sis.
A
I love your tone and vibe, it crazy how the down low guys be having the most patient and understanding women. Ainât no way in hell my ex wouldâve been that cool about the situation lol. Iâm feeling her a lot!!!
Appreciate your courage to share this!! I have heard stories like this b4 we gotta rebuke all the mess that breaks Copper woman..and their are simple tests that can help you see these sooner, and other gays can call em on the spot
I feel bad for her but that duck was walking, talking and quacking from the beginning of their relationship.
Exactly
He sounds like a terrible person. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too. I'm glad you are out of that toxic situation.
I don't think he wanted her cake,the problem was he wanted to eat his friends cake. Gay or straight,that's fucked up. Some would disagree,but being gay,i needed something concrete to prove to myself that girls weren't my thing. So my personal test was a "Make out" session. That's it. Black and white. Didn't go further. This was in college. I remember specifically the girl being pissed at me because i wouldn't go further,the ho,lol. But i knew then i wouldn't wanna hurt her or myself if we went further. It's alot... alot and complex.
@@beautoxxbeautoxx so was he gay or bi? I'm confused here. đ
@@coolrunnings1936 sexuality is interesting and hard to pinpoint exactly at times. But the way she's explained about how her friends comments before and during their relationship and then finding out it was going on since before they got married only points to him leaning more towards gay side. I believe he didn't want to face his reality by acknowledging and screwing up what he had as far as the " idea of normal" in his eyes. Either way, he was cheating, cheaters suck. Lucky for her she's still young,no kids, intelligent and gorgeous. I'm sure she'll be extra cautious and extra communicative with her next relationship that I'm sure she'll have no problem finding.â€ïž
Yep
I heard that expression this morning by psychic reader and I didn't know the meaning of it. But I've been suspecting him going the other way but didn't get confirmation from him claiming to be anti-gay and being offended by me. I think it was more implying him still dealing with his wife even they were not living together...
Literally going through the same thing right now đđđđ when I say I canât eat sleep get mad angry so many emotions in one lord Iâm just trying to take it one day at a time
Sis, your skin is so glowing and beautiful! You need to make a video about skincare tips, pretty please! đ
I'm struggling with breakouts and hyperpigmentation! đđż
This is why it's important to be honest with the person that you claim that you love.
Love in a friend way not necessarily intimate/emotional. But it's NICE to be be honest all was.
Yes, and the first person to be honest with is ourselves. Everything flows from there.
LONG BUT HOPEFULLY YOU READ IT. I hope my story also helps someone.
My ex (when I was in my mid 20s) the first thing I saw was a text message. It was a link to a gay porn site. He said it was probably spam or something. I ignored it. As time went on my mom told me that my cousin told my dad that she believes my boyfriend at the time was gay. I was like âhuhâ? Iâm like why didnât she communicate to me about it? Iâm the type of person if you tell me something I should watch out for, Iâm going to investigate, I wonât get upset bc you told me. That means youâre watching out for me. Then while we were at a family gathering, my aunt had the nerve to say in front of everyone, âYep so and so told me he was gayâ. Iâm like seriously? Wtf? You couldnât talk to me in private? You had to say this in front of the entire family? Honestly my aunt had some nerve bc her husband was doing a lot of women in town and gave her chlamydia!
Anyways, I did more searching, got into his Facebook. Then BAM! I saw messages between him and this guy who we actually went to high school with. Talking about âWhen are we going to meet again?â âYou might want to get an AIDS test.â âI know you want this duck again.â Thereâs so much more. I confronted him about it. Yes he denied it saying his cousin or someone was using his Facebook. Like seriously?! Child bye. I found out about all of this information the day before my birthday.
I will say this I always got checked for STDS/AIDS/HIV when I was with him, never caught anything. Let me tell you God watched out for me. Till this day (Iâm in my 30s) no diseases. Even though this was a long time ago Iâm still thankful Iâm disease free bc some things pop up later. Iâm highly blessed. He was cheating on me with men and women! To make it worse he was mentally and physically abusive and a stalker. God has completely covered me.
It baffles me how someone could hurt someone by not only cheating but damn on the down low! All these diseases going on out here? Hell no! Be smart ladies.
Iâm so glad youâre okay â€ïž
They are on the down low because of all the homophobia in our community.
@@plastichouselady That doesn't give them the right to use and waste peoples time. If they want to live that down low life, leave women alone.
I went thru the same exact thing. 3 years. Im glad you made it out. Fr fr
Me too! I was a straight spouse married to a down-low old man..smh. IT WAS HELL! Glad I got out of that jacked-up mess of a so-called marriage.
I'm so sorry you went through that! Obviously, he was trying to tell you what was up without actually telling you. There are good, honest men out here who want a beautiful young lady. Please take time to heal, pray and trust God to bring the right one to you. đ
I applaud you for talking about this.
Most people I know would rather forget than share. This is helpful information to know.
She ignored EVERY red flag. She talks about it like the signs WERE NOT COMMON SIGNS. This is why we have to allow others input. If you are in denial an outsider can definitely assure you of any doubts!
đŻđŻ
7 years of denial. All the signs were there.
I was about to type this. Definitely not trying to victim blame or anything but sis got several clues alluding to the dude being gay. Your friends, the way he dressed, his dance moves (as seemingly unserious as it might sound), his âfriendsâ⊠Like I donât get. What else shouldâve been done?
đđŸđđŸđđŸđđŸ
Exactly lol I am always observant and that's why I feel I always pick up on alot of men who are gay but claim their straight. There's always something that's going to give him away
We need to get back to judging righteously so these demons wonât be having field days with usâŠyou should judge someone by what they wear, how they talk, how they act, what kind of music they listen to, who they hang around, their beliefsâŠetc. Thatâll save you ALOT of time and pain moving forward! Thanks for sharing
Girl their were SOOOOOO many red flagsâŠ
Omg, I think you willingly turned a blind eye to say you had a man/ring. No way you could be that naive/unalert.
This is why rushing to get married by society standards can set you back.
That's for men and women
I think rushing to have sex is more of the issue, tbh. If we all could just control our sex drives a little better, we wouldn't feel the need to rush any type of romantic relationship.
I think it doesnât matter if you rush or not a person will come out when theyâre ready or get caught! A guy can disguise it soo well snd have a good enough reason for everything you suspect. It reminds me of straight men too in the sense that a man will disguise himself to be whatever you want him to be . Your âperfectâ man just long enough to get what he wants or tired of the relationship then his true colors come out when heâs ready to show you that he was a con artist.
@@stephenanderson1594 I agree!
@@TheRibofJESUS I agree. I've been celibate for 7 months.
At least y'all ain have no kids tied in this messs still very unfortunate tho
Please pray for me b/c I just found out my fiancĂ© of 3 years and recently 2 twin 4 month old girls father is gay/bisexual or at these curious and want to try things sexually within both gender. Iâm trying to b strong but Iâm thinking Iâm more in sick and in shocked that I was basically another cover( bc he does have another baby mama) for his denial of being D.L. But we literally was going to get married in 5 months, Iâm graduating college and we were buying our first home in august. I happy that Ik this now rather then not filling my gut bc I could have caught anything and have it for the rest of my life or have to be treated but I literally just over came post and pre nental depression after giving him kids he wanted but later didnât and now trying to be a better father/fiancĂ© and now Ik why he was going through a lot of emotional anger and changes and confusion bc he got more than he wanted and not truly wanting to be âthisâ stuck with me and two kids but Iâm leaving him rn as I type. Pray for me and my children (I even strongly know and feel my first childâs father gay or bi) he used to always try and do fight me pregnant with our kid and all for in and off and do drugs which I feel is a cover up. #dont date guys much older then u (who lie about their age major red flag) and #NEVER DATE IN ATL
Im so sorry u went thru this and never doubt ur intuition again! Being manipulated and lied to is never okay! I just also wanted to add that thereâs also plenty of straight men who put their hands on women as well, so I just feel like that went towards his character and not really towards the fact heâs gay
Just pay attention and don't second guess yourself. If it walks like a duck and it talks like a duck, it's a DUCK! If he does gay things, he's gay! If he's MIA, he's either with a woman or a man and either way you don't want him in your life. Pray and ask God to reveal to you who this person really is in a way that you can't deny what you saw and He will show you. Love yourself enough to not make excuses for someone else's BS. I'm a lot older than you are and I've seen a few things in my life.đ
đ
That part
100% agree with your comment Nora Smith.
fuck no. you canât assume someone is gay because they donât act stereotypical and just abandon them. thatâs messed up.
Thank you Nora
I always say this! If you suspect him of being gay he's gay. I've never met an man I think is gay and he turns out to be straight. My intuition is always right. My gaydar is strong!
You're not gonna always know when a man is on the down low because not all down low men are clockable . Meaning... Not all of them look, act, dress, talk, walk, move, etc. like they're gay or bisexual . You'll have to hear about it, see it, hear it, see pics, and/or videos of him with a gay, bisexual, or transgender person .
Exactly so be alone
Well that's different but it's much worst when you got all the signs still dive in. That reeks of desperation!!
@ venia , rather sad and true we wonât know. All you can do is pay attention to actions not words. The only thing we can do is protect self at all cost by wearing protection in intimate relationships even in marriage we wonât know just pray and pay attention to signs, listen to family members and watch.
They're all clockable
@@fallonrappaport5270 that's not true & you should know that . There's masculine, hardcore, thuggish, manly man, etc. Gay & bisexual men . You will never know they're gay or bisexual unless you find out about it .
You attract what you fear keep your mind elevated and level headed only think of what you want to manifest in your life or what youâre appreciative for
Trust me, There were definitely warnings. Often as women, we choose to ignore the signs. Be careful ladies!
You know, sometimes itâs the masculine men also who like sex with same sex. So we are just rolling the dice regardless of their mannerisms.
Ya my husband is like that by the way
Intuition is where it's at!
Your intuition is a God given gift. PERIOD!
Sis, please never lose sight of who you are and notes that your experience is not a reflection of you. I too, have walked in your shoes and even had a child with the man. I gained wisdom and strength from my experience with a down low man and most importantly discernment. Question everything that doesn't sit well your reasoning. I wish you peace and love! This too shall pass!
Makes me scared to date...Being single isn't bad at all!
That gut feeling is ALWAYS on point đ©
Always
A L W A Y S !!!!
Facts, mine was!!!!!!!!!
Yeap
Man I'm beginning to think that Most guys are downlow or at least bi-curious just from the stories I keep hearing. If there's 10 men in the room 7 of them have had some type of secret homosexual experience or at least thought about in their lifetime. If I could prove it I would put money on it. Not All men but I'm sticking to most. It's scary, glad you got out..
They are, just like a lot of women are, they just can't be open about it do to societal standards unfortunately.
Too scary
@@TarotGirlTah444 not true at all , whereâs your proof âa lot of men or women are bisexual I Wana see fr
@carly rhonda that's the stupidest shit I've ever heard. You sound scarred.
@carly rhonda so do you think this way about your father? What about Your grandpa? Yeah you sound like youâve been with a DL dude too many times. Not all men like other guys đ
My Lord, you are beautiful, your soul and your exterior! Saying this in the straightest way possible. đ€Ł blessing to you, thank you for sharing!
Iâm happy the truth came out for both of you. Now you can find someone more suited and compatibleâ€ïž
To all my sisters out there you gotta pray and fast to ask god to reveal to you who they truly are. Only god can save you from this bcuz the devil is behind most of these guys and the devil is the biggest deceiver. Words of wisdom
K.M.
Words of wisdom. SO TRUE!
Pretty much
Omg thank You đđŒ
Omg so true.When you pray to God he will deliver the righteous person.Only he can do that.
Fast
Here's a piece of loving advice from an OG especially to you millennials and gen z, y'all always say, "Don't judge me, " in which I find is counterintuitive because in real life we all need to be a good judge of one's character, and that will prevent you for placing yourselves in such deviant and deceptive situations.
Judgement is a necessary part of protection. If I see a drunk driver coming towards me, itâs not a bad thing to be judgmental and get my behind out of his path.
Ms. Dixon, I love and appreciate your comment.
This it right here đ
Very well said! Thank you for saying it! â€âđŸđđœ
Sometimes people won't listen to family, but the will listen to others. I will forward this to my daughters!
Yesss!!!đŻ
Thank you for sharing this with us, I know this had to be so traumatic to go through. Even though I don't know you, I give you my love and support and I hope you receive all of the good things headed your way.
Giiiirl, I can relate 1000%. I went through the same thing with my ex. A month into our relationship I found out he was cheating on me and had been sexting/ FaceTiming multiple men on a dating app. He completely denied being bi/gay and I forgave him for it. Our relationship was filled with arguments about it until it ended 10 months later. After we broke up I found out he was back on the app doing the same thing he did when we were together. Needless to say he was lying and so deeply in denial he got me to believe all of that. Such a fcked up situation. To play and manipulate the person you claim to love like thatâŠsmh. But thank God it ended when it did. If thereâs one thing I learned is always listen to your gut and intuition because itâs usually always right!!
One thing I learned is that you donât have to judge a person if they are your friend but you have to judge when your dating sadly
Sometimes a feminine man is attracted to your masculine qualities (confidence, strength, ambition, independence)
Those arenât masculine qualities, lmfaoooo
@@FlowerTower everyone has feminine and masculine energy. What I listed are masculine attributes backed by science.
@@lafemme5716 you can't argue with illogical people, she probably doesnt even subscribe to gender roles.
effeminate. I agree.
@@lafemme5716 strength is the only scientific thing you listed lolll
Iâm glad youâre safe girl bc sometimes these things end BAD!!! A disease hell even death for finding this out. These men are a trip
All I'm hearing is "I saw ALL the red flags and still choose to ignore it" I don't have anything in me to tell u type of ladies!! Because to me Lil Uzi is down low so for u to say he dressed like Lil Uzi and his mannerisms were 'cute' GIRL!!!!!!!!
âHe came in at 4 in the morning & I was like okayyy what is thisâ baby it would have never been that simple for him wtffff đđ you let him get by with too much shit
My daddy told me in my early 20's, "baby a man will only do what you ALLOW him to". and this is from a reformed cheater and womanizer. He and mom have been married over 56yrs.
Facts
rightttt club close @ 2
RIGHT!!!! How or why does you husband NEVER invite you to go out and have fun!!!!?????
My hubby plays soccer without me!!! And thatâs because I stopped going cause I didnât want to get up early onSaturdays to go! Plus he takes our kids!! So ya girl has mommy ALONE time!
Iâve never been in an intimate relationship where my man wanted to go out without me? I mean who does that EVERY TIME???? I can see a boyâs night or girls night out every now and again or in my husbandâs case soccer on Saturday mornings.
Iâm just happy you didnât contract any STDs from this mess. And my heart just goes out to you because how can you trust another man after this? If you gay you gay but to be in a relationship for so many years & then to get married like it was a complete unnecessary waste of time.
Lol straight ppl get stds too
@@courtneygooden9609 when did they say only gay/bisexual people get STDs?
@@ash-js2bv Iâm talking in general ppl often bring it up when talking about gay men. Theyâre not the only ones spreading it.
@@courtneygooden9609 overwhelming THEY ARE. Stop being slow. Check the statistics!
@@blueberryburg7513 baby bye
You are so strong and brave. Continue to keep moving and I pray your thoughts your heart and your mind be delivered from him and his shenanigans â€ïž
I would honestly be so heartbroken. You are so strong to be able to overcome something like this! I just canât understand why people canât just be honest. đ©
I really donât understand how someone can live a second life with no remorse at all. Even the straight men, this is another level though. Live in your truth because the truth is always revealed.
She knew he was gay but went with the flow. Her story tells much more about her thinking process than the gay guy.
@@multyz1 Many women who have lived this can't understand how he could want her and be gay
@@misslove7698 Do these women have to take any responsibilities for not being much more observant and cautious or it's all the gay guys fault?
@@multyz1 lol
@Tayonna's Turn the first thing black women need to realise and embed into their brain is that "not everyone thinks like you, has the same moral conduct as you and cares the way you do" once you Overstand that,
all that "I Don't understand how/I could never do that" rhetoric becomes irrelevant and you focus on the facts, your own intuition and what the person does. Not what they say and this goes beyond the topic of this video - this goes for LIFE