Loving others with a wounded heart | Chris Stefanick Show
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- čas přidán 2. 06. 2024
- This week my beautiful wife Natalie is with us again. The last time she was on, there was so much to unpack with her story of healing from abuse. So she said yes to coming back to talk about it some more.
Healing is a journey. God’s love and mercy work in our lives over time, especially when it comes to relationships with family and friends. We’re going to talk about those dynamics in this episode.
Watch Part 1: bit.ly/3eWs2MX
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I appreciate the courage to share this testimony but I want to caution others who have been traumatized. God is ABLE and willing to heal ALL wounds from all trauma, without therapy. Many do not have access to therapists but fear not, God can do all things. A prayer life (consisting of the Holy Rosary), frequent confession, and the Mass is a powerful antidote to past trauma. I have experienced this. Praise God.
Yes. All 15 mysteries of the Holy Rosary everyday! I can't agree more. Such peace and forgiveness. The Lord is so good. It's free. Meditating on Christ through the eyes of Mary our Mother. So powerful! Blessings to you.
Agree
Yes the more "startling," the therapy the more the placebo effect comes into play, however non neurotypical people who have eye tracking problems will struggle with EMDR, so if you try and "fail" any new therapy please don't be demoralised, (l tried and "failed" many when secular)
The Courage to Heal, was written decades ago and has had a a very mixed reception, worth investigating, as some readers can get "stuck" lts the "possible" self diagnosis, which can trigger "certainty" and does not provide a cure
My personal 2 penneth?
Abuse is demeaning, this de-meaning removes meaning from our identities and our lives, the earlier this spiritual, psychological, emotional and social trauma happens, on top of the physical, the more extreme "the impact"
A relationship with God, restores meaning, purpose, dignity,
and belonging.That was the core takaway of the trauma, isolation, fear of trust.
Starting as a young child, ideally our relationship with God should have been primary, and partly modelled on competent parents, then we could have better borne the devastating reality that "every human will let you down at some point" (wittingly or unwittingly).
Faith is, "l don't know the plan, but l'm all in", and "l'll never be tricked again as profoundly as what led me create the script, "nobody can be trusted, not even myself"
I’m seeing this 3/27/23 and i want to say AMEN! Jesus is the Grand Physician and I have experienced His healing and am still growing after discovering abuse from my brother when I was 5 or 6 years old and it’s blocked out but the true evidence is there. Another episode when I was about 17. Fast forward to a couple years ago after being helped by Jesus and Mom through a DEAR FRIEND who taught me so much about the faith and TRUE LOVE from Jesus. Another friend said “ you are different now. Have you seen a therapist?” We were at Church so I looked up and pointed to the Crucifix and said HE is my therapist! We must TRUST in Jesus and KNOW that He LOVES us MORE then we can ever imagine so we must strive to love Him with all our mind body and soul and love our neighbor as ourselves! And we MUST FORGIVE our assailants, persecutors etc! That is FREEING! Praise Jesus!
After so many therapies abd new age nonsense in some ways...I now am appreciating healing via our Lord..I've just been résistant to letting him in as I want to do it my crazy way...how dumb have I been!!! Thank you as I'm also interested in EMDR and not so much talk therapy..the brain is amazing
"My heart is my favorite thing about myself. And it grew because it broke."
wow
You have no idea how much this touched me. I had early sexual trauma and began acting out at 5 with girls. Graduated to weed, drink, and full sex (men) by 12. Extremely promiscuous. . 13 years of this and deeply in the occult. Meant my husband, told him I've got A LOT of issues, smh. We became part of God's family 8 years later. I was sexually and emotionally stunted for many years. I get it. It was soooooooo hard. Once becoming a Christian I knew that my husband deserved better and consciously worked on my healing. What most spoke to me is Natalie's dichotomy of apologizing to her husband for "not" being the wife he deserved and also the reality of apologizing for something that truly is a reaction to something that isn't her fault. It's a challenging reality. Without God's grace, we would be lost. It's discouraging to have "triggers and flashbacks" after so many years when I thought I was healed. It's better now, I understand it will happen at times, and am better equipped to "manage" my emotions and reactions. It's so delicate because my trauma now traumatized my husband🙁. By God's grace, it's been 23years and we're working it out. The Blessed Mother is key when I have triggers.
That is so good to hear! It is obvious God is with you and He will continue to be. May you continue to experience His many blessings, and healing.
The LITANY OF HUMILITY has helped me stay positive! It is in our Roman Catholic Daily Missal 1962 p. 1827
Chris Your love for your wife Natalie is genuinely precious and rare.
God bless you Natalie and Chris 👑✝️🕊️
What a beautiful story🙏 Your lady is quite a gem and I will find her book. Thanks
Chris and Natalie, you are a beautiful witness of holy matrimony.
Thank you for your honesty and the hope you personify!!
With this testimony makes me want to persevere in prayer for healing in my marriage. Thank you both. Viva Cristo Rey
If there is no abuse, compulsive and chronic infidelity, or addictions involved its worth it to stay and try. At some point in all marriages you realize that it is better than starting over or going it alone. At some point you begin to just take care of each other if you are both inclined to be that way. Its nice if you have a cold in bed and someone is there to bring you something to eat or cook for the kids if one of you is working late. Doing it all, alone is something you don't want to find out. Unless you realize either of you is incapable of forgiveness, you are just taken for granted and being together is a real mistake its worth it to stay. What is the hurry to go? What are you rushing to that can't wait. Someone i know recently said if she knew going it alone she would never have divorced. It wasn't as bad as it is now.
By repeating this phrase "It is not your fault!" in the movie Good Will Hunting (1997), Robin Williams opened up Matt Damon's well concealed childhood abuse from his memory and started the healing process from there. I never know that this is an actual VERY VITAL therapy process in the healing of past wounds. Thank you for pointing this out very clearly in your program. My sincere appreciation again. Amen 🙏😭
Boy that took guts from both of you. Beautiful love story. Thank you.
Thank you, Natalie, for being brave to share your story! The Lord led me to the Unbound Ministry a little over a year ago and I finally started counseling on Mama Mary's birthday this year to overcome my childhood trauma. My counselor is going to try the EMDR method on me when we get further into the PTSD overcoming plan she has in place. I found your words encouraging that I am on the right path to overcome my wounds from my past and hopefully be the best wife and mother God is calling me to be. I also loved that your husband tears up talking about you like my husband does with me! I think God blessed us both with great men to help us through our traumas. Thank you again for sharing your story and giving me hope for my future. God bless you, your family, and all that you do!
I pray that your healing journey continues to go well and that the Lord is healing all of your wounds. I also wanted to share with you a couple of other options that you may find helpful - both are Jesus-led. One is through Encounter Ministries in the US. You can look on their website for their Inner Healing sessions. Similarly, there is something called the Immanuel Method that is used by some therapists, and it is a much more gentle method that leaves you feeling more joyful coming out of the therapy sessions than raw. I have two friends who have used one or both of these methods for similar wounds and found them very helpful. I plan to check them out as well. I think you have to dig around to find a therapist near you using the Immanual method.
Severe wounds can and WILL be treated with the help of GOD. Thank you, Lot
Lord❤
Natalie, you are an incredibly strong and articulate person. God bless you and your family throughout your healing journey! ❤️
I have used EMDR with military clients suffering from PTSD. It works! The principle is that eye movement distracts the brain and desensitizes it to the trauma by rewiring the neurons (neuroplasticity). UNBOUND is also a great intervention for raising awareness of spiritual attacks.
Who is the author of Unbound?
Neal Lozano
Oh this so moved me..."My soul magnifies the Lord". This really got me and Chris your showing of emotion...Marriage is a journey for all couples and all about perspective. Love to see you do more together...much love and blessings to you both from Scotland. CK
My conversion story makes Mary Magdalene look like a Saint b4 she met Jesus.❤️🙏🏻
Praise Jesus that I found this!! God Bless You!!
This should be a series on EWTN FOR MOTHER MARY!!!
💖💐💖💐💖💐✝️🙏💯
I’m glad to hear (and not surprised) that she attacked these problems from both a medical and spiritual side.
He should stop constantly INTERRUPTING his wife. I want to hear her story, not his constant comments. She is very brave to talk about this and I know full well that too many girls have suffered from sexual abuse.
Turning to Our Lady has been a LIFE CHANGING experience. Completely different journey I’m on now and I couldn’t be more grateful
Amen 🙏
thank you Natalie and Nick. as someone who went through the similar thing and never know that acknowledging “I’m a survivor” is that important. You both have given me hope as a single woman to persevere with the healing and go back to therapy too. someday I wish I’ll be able to say to my family and spouse, that I do all this not only for me but for them too. thank you, thank you.
What Satan meant for evil God used for good, thanks be to God
Your wife’s testimony was beautiful. I believe it will shed light on many troubled souls.🙏
So beautiful. Thank you Lord, your timing for me seeing this is perfect, just as Your Love for us ❤🙏
I've been bringing my abuse to light to a select few for 6 years...Jesus is gentle in the time frame,of allowing me to remember and process...🙏
only God's love can conquer the impossible. Lord Jesus, I give praise and glory to You for YOUR almighty power. Thank you Jesus!
Well obviously good comes out of bad. Thanks be to God! You guys are blessed beyond belief. I hope someone sees this who needs it because it is a sensitive subject. You as a couple have worked through this beautifully. I am sure it will help others. God bless you both!
Amen 🙏
This is helping me a lot. Reminds me that I’m not the only one victimized. God Bless you all❤. Thank you Jesus, for going to the cross for sinners, among whom I am chief. Amen
Is there part 3? Covering how the family couldn’t believe? How did they come around? How does the family of origin heal?
It is wonderful how you each uphold and support the wellbeing of each other.
Omg you guys made me cry 😭😭😭 the message from that tattoo went straight to my heart . We are all connected . I love you guys thank you for sharing ❤
POWERFUL TESTIMONY🙏🔥
Wow I have learned how much pain Chris has went through also to continue to share his life with his wife also and also with with God's ppl.
How blessed they are to have such a deep & loving relationship.
Thank you both so much, I have been looking forward to part 2 and am so grateful that I was able to listen in. God Bless 🕊️🙏✝️❤️
Thank you so much to you two!! I so needed to hear this. 🌹
I cried, and cried and cried....
Absolutely beautiful. This is what love and marriage is all about. Trusting your hearts together in a Holy Marriage. Blessings on you both. Marguerite
God strengthen your bond and it's so beautiful. Nothing comes for free. God bless you both.
I came to realize that I had anxiety (from childhood trauma) for probably fifty years when I read " The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Vanderkolk. I did neurofeedback and I am a different person.
Wonderfull sharing. Thank you for your honesty and testimony
Thank you so much Chris..God bless you and Natalie.. beautiful testimony.
Available by CZcams searching this topic: Good Will Hunting: Overcoming Fear by Just an Observation if you haven't watch this 25+ years old movie. I was touched and cried many times watching this well beloved movie.
Being able to heal within a relationship is a is a grace all into its own. Another book is back from betrayal.
May God continue to bless your journey and thank you for sharing is sharing with us.
Once the unconscious becomes conscious then then we can have peace and deal with it. Like in The Bible nothing much can grow in the dark we must bring things to the light of day.
Wow your wife's knowledge on healing oneself is awesome. Thanks for the tip on EMDR it's all new to me. Thank you so much for your help. God bless you
14:55 *EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
I've been waiting for her side. Thanks so much for this Natalie 💕🙏 PS At the prayer 23:40, thank you Chris! Ill copy this
Wow! You're both awesome and your love for each other is so evident and beautiful.
So powerful..God bless you both.
What a powerful witness to faithfulness and God’s grace! Recovery can be hard, especially in a society that rewards male denial. Thank you both for being willing to be vulnerable.!
So sorry you went through this. I demand that GOD stop this abuse. GOD YOU PROMISE that nothing is impossible with you. No wonder so many turn their backs to yoy, because help is so slow in coming. GOD PLEASE HELP AND PROTECT THE INNOCENT.
I feel so frustrated about this. The father of my two young daughters (ex husband) sexually abused them at potty training age. It is despicable. I have been so angry at God at times. Why. How. So much injustice in this world. The military defended this pedophile bcs he served in Iraq. So did local police and he’s walking around a free man rn. I hurt so much as a mother and fear that there will be more victims at his hands.
Thank you both so much for sharing your experiences and the joy and peace you two have is very inspiring and hopeful.
My wife went through sexual abuse too. I Have made her my life's endeavor to never let her down, like EVERYBODY ELSE HAS DONE TO HER, EVEN HER OWN MOTHER; SINCE SHE COULD REMEMBER... I LOVE HER SO MUCH, I BEG THE LORD JESUS CHRIST TO FORGIVE ME FOR LOVING HER TOO, MUCH! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! JOHN 14:12-17.
My favorite couple. Thank you. ❤ 🙏
Thank you!
Praise God! Thank you both for your courage! Stay strong with God's and Momma Mary's help!
The life I have found with you in Christ I can never repay.
Gosh! That was hectic! So grateful for your vulnerability and honesty. Thanks so much!❤️🙏🏻❤️
God bless🌷
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!✝️❤
Just lovely..
Beautiful!!!
God bless you both 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you for sharing this with us. God bless you
I can attest that EMDR does work. It helped me a great deal though I didn't know what it was called.
Such a beautiful beautiful couple! You are so generous to share this.
What a beautiful woman!
This is a very difficult session to make it through. However, by trusting in God and willing to help others with similar predicaments, both of you made it through. Thanks for your selfless sharing that will help many others. Amen.
Beautiful testimony ❤️❤️
Amen 🙏
Woah😮
WOW
I wish links were provided for the interviews he references. Chris mentioned Jim someone who talked of his healing. Wish i could have made that out.
I understand. I took it upon myself for years as my sin and that I was the bad guy because family usually blames the girl or woman.
When I grow up I'd like to be more like you 👍🙏
Can you include a link to Part 1 of the interview with Natalie? Thank you.
czcams.com/video/MgsdU88lqns/video.html&ab_channel=AugustineInstitute-CatholicChurchExplained
I just came across this podcast. I've been struggling with why the suffering is allowed for her greater good. Other than a few stories that give us the other side in other words, the person who has caused the suffering, power redemptive is the suffering for those who have caused it? How many Nazis, how many druglords, how many children traffickers are redeemed by the suffering they have caused? What if they have never known the Lord Jesus. What if they aren't given the grace? What if they don't have anyone praying for them?
Can you provide me with readings or podcast on how I can understand the perpetrators role in the redemption if any?
Life has been such a heavy burden for me. It has made me hate God intensely for long periods of time. I have no desire to keep going for years and years. I would *welcome* being told I have a terminal disease and one year left of this life, which has brought me so much torment, despair, and so little joy, happiness, and contentment. If people reading wanted to pray for me, for God to shorten my life significantly. I feel that taking my own life would be the sign that God really cursed every single aspect of my life. Hopefully, God can come through. I'm fighting really hard the urge to lash out at God for decreeing so much adversity and for snatching me out of the peace of nonexistence.
I hope you will look for and find a good therapist to help you process this terrible trauma. You are loved by God and so precious to Him. It is the abusers who deserve your wrath and hatred, not God. A therapist and the EMDR at the right time could make all the difference for you. Your Life is worth living!! God bless you and lead you to healing.
I can relate BIG TIME so I believe I am qualified to say DO NOT give up. If you want details, willing to share.
Our priest told my husband that when he shakes his fist at God, that it is still a prayer - God knows your pain and anger and he hears you; he wants you to hang on to the hope, as elusive as it may seem, and not give up. Our Lady is the Star of the Sea, and will bring you safely through the storm to Him. Will be praying for you!
@@karecare2224 Thank you! I had a bit of a revelation last night about a personality disorder that I have. It seemed I was hearing someone describe me to a 't'. I have to run now, but will tell you more later on. Have a good one.
Are you on any medication? Before you claim those thoughts as your own please check if you are on any medications, exposed to any chemicals or health issues, etc…. I was put on birth control in the army and had suicidal thoughts and a weird detached misery for months that I thought was natural. It never even occurred to me that one simple change could take away so much suffering. Those thoughts were in my head but they didn’t belong to me. By the grace of God I did not kill myself. I was close. Go to a doctor and check for hormonal imbalances, med side effects, hypoglycemia, etc… if you can halve your anxiety by eating a bigger breakfast or reducing your carb intake so your blood sugar doesn’t tank, do it. If you can get a different prescription and remove your suicidal thoughts, do it. If you can take an iron supplement for your anemia and suddenly have energy for once, do it. Never forget that psychological effects can be symptoms of physical problems. Even if it only halves your pain, that will make a massive difference in your day to day life. You might even find it tolerable. Then get a therapist for the rest.
@@Emily-me No. I have to be extra careful with my food intake because my mood is adversely affected by my fluctuating bloodsugar levels. Apart from occasional asthma pumps, and regular baby aspirin (nostalgia+a bit of a health insurance), nothing. Very little alcohol, no drugs.
Much of it stems from childhood neglect and trauma (no biggie, just enough to break my spirit). I have quiet BPD 100%.
All my life, I've been extremely shy, fearful, anxious, intense fear of being humiliated and rejected. I managed to be functional by the skin of my teeth.
Anyhow, thank you for taking the time to read my story and respond. If I had plenty of money, I'd probably get tested for just about everything, and buy EVERYTHING that Flav City recommends buying! I'd also get my weight under control (10-12% bodyfat) with 12-15 pounds of additional lean tissue. money would have changed everything for me. I tried my best facing life with the constant war in my mind and the few gifts and talents I have. I watched Arnold on Netflix. What drove him to pursue success and a better life destroyed his more sensitive brother. Sorry, I'm all over the place!
If you are not at peace you are not free.
😊❤😊
I tried EMDR once and found it completely pleasant and totally distracting. They kept asking me if anything came to mind and I just couldn’t do anything but get lost in the rhythm.
Can you put a link to Part 1 in the description please?
Here's the link for anyone who couldn't find it. It took me a few min to find because it's almost 3 months back in the videos.
czcams.com/video/MgsdU88lqns/video.html
Click on the Augustine institute logo over on the left. Then click videos and look at the list. Otherwise I don’t know
czcams.com/video/MgsdU88lqns/video.html&ab_channel=AugustineInstitute-CatholicChurchExplained
I have been down that road too, my father was a pedophile, gangster, thief, murderer and athiest.
I grew up being told I was the one being disgusting, that was my father telling my mother and his family that he was blameless, Typical narcissistic behaviour.
I knew I was GOOD, I saw people I thought were ghosts, I now know they were Angels that told me they loved me and would always be with me.
Many times I have been told by spiritual people that they see I have a Powerful Archangel standing over me.
In my life I have been stalked by two men.
The first was killed by the second.
He was truly psychotic and tried to kill me three times, and failed because each time I was rescued by people who were there by accident or more likely design, the third time while I was on holiday, he followed and pushed me into a fast river, down river a Newfoundland Dog Rescue Team had the chance to show off their skills.
I always loved Dogs, and seems my Guardian Angel loves them too.
I am old now, I spend my time studying bible and related subjects, hence watching you.
Laughter is the best medicine along with a good dose of Love. God Bless you Both.
Chris I love your show but please don't interrupt your guest's as I loss my thought when listening to them spek
I would of liked that Natalie would of not been interrupted so much by her husband as she is the guest.
Unbound is problematic because it is protestant. Better to look into the Liber Christo program.
It’s actually Roman Catholic. They do offer a book geared towards protestants.
I think it's important that you don't cut each other off when one of you says I love you. When you welcomed her to the show and you said I love you, you didn't even allow her to respond when you begin to speak again and you spoke over her I love you. It's important that the I love yous receive the proper hearing and the proper reaction but that can't happen with continual talking. Just an oversight I'm sure.
I struggled through the first one. Could have been interesting but you kept interrupting her. I am not going to watch this one, Maybe one day she will tell her story on her own.
63 years JESUS perseverance a lot of pain if u only knew what I’ve experienced my married name is look at my handle….I am a victim soul.
Our purpose in life as human beings is to become a Victim Soul like Christ, in Christ, with His Mother’s help, guidance and consolations, in order to honour God and grow in holiness and save our soul and other souls.❤
Sorry I just can't listen to this at all because you keep interrupting her and I'd rather hear her story spoken from her heart.
This man is worth 1.2 million. Now there is someone who we should trust when it comes to following Christ.
1.2 million is nothing. lol
Chris may call it love, and her love for him is obvious. But his constant interruptions show no respect and no true love. He is just continuing her abuse. And since she has been abused since a child, she knows no difference. I am sickened for her. She has further to go in healing that Chris won't allow. Chris showing this side of himself says a lot. So very controlling. He would not do that to another person. He would ask leading questions, at times to facilitate the telling of her story. Instead he interrupts & tells HER story for parts that he wasn't present. Natalie tries to correct him, bless her heart. No respect, only control from her husband. What does he say about her to their children behind her back. He shows himself to be the a schmoozing, passive aggressive man.
not so
I think you're overstating the truth here but do make a point. He simply refuses to get the hell OUT OF THE WAY and allow her to speak her story. He needs to STOP MAKING IT ABOUT HIM. Ugh it's so incredibly frustrating!! Natalie is beyond tolerant. God bless her. Chris. Please. Stop.
I've learned a lot by the Conversation element of how they grew together while overcoming this issue that haunted their first ten years of marriage. It's a beautifully inspiring testimony that, as a whole, benefits from hearing how they individually saved their marriage, with God's grace. A 90% Natalie chat simply couldn't convey that message.
This guy is so overly polished that I am warning people to do their research. The way he speaks is contrived. Watch it closely.
What???
Are you serious? Chris has the most incredible love for Jesus and our Holy Mother the Church. Everyone has faults, sure. We’re all human. You may not like Chris but that doesn’t mean he’s speaking against the Church and our Faith.
You're being manipulated.
Someone I trust considers him a friend. I find Chris genuine and enjoy his channel.
We see stars in your eyes because you are cashing in on God. I think you meant dollar signs.
I don’t see him that way. I believe he his a godly man
MAY THE LORD JESUS CHRIST ALWAYS INTERVENE FOR YOUR MARRIGE TO SUCCEED! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! JOHN14:12-17.
LOVE YOUR WIFE AS YOUR BEST FRIEND, IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! IF NOT; YOU HAVE MARRIED THE WRONG WOMAN!
Nah. The woman you married is the One for you, until death do us part. One day at a time, with Christ.❤