Confronting the Past: Conquering Toxicity in Mother-Daughter Interactions | Dear Future Wifey E709
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- čas přidán 28. 05. 2024
- Are you a woman who has a toxic relationship with your mom or daughter? Throughout history, trauma has been passed down from one generation to the next. This is known as intergenerational transmission of trauma. Jessica Chinyelu brings her mom to the yellow couch to discuss years of unaddressed toxicity in their relationship. Today's episode is titled, "Confronting Toxicity".
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Mom did a lot over talking and cracking jokes while the daughter tried to share her experience. As a daughter, I know it can be difficult to share your experience with mom in the background always correcting or explaining. Sometimes daughters just want their perspective to be heard. It seems like they do have a great testimony to share but the delivery still needs a bit of work. Great episode nonetheless.
My observation exactly
Exactly!
I agree. Even though there may have been some underlying unknown information, what Jessica felt was still her reality at that time and she needed to be allowed to share
I thought it was just me. On top of the Waiting to Exhale, Color Purple, Usher songs references and Steve Harvey comparisons.
It’s getting very hard to follow & stay keyed in with all of the over talking.
I'm a social worker. I watch most episodes, but this one caught my attention. I've NEVER commented on any platfornm.
I thought this was a great episode. I heard much trauma from both. Roles were never established because mom was a child when she began having children. She only gave what she saw, which was basically nothing positive. I truly wish them the needed healing as they continue to journey together to create boundaries and understanding of each others needs. Thank you, ladies, for the laughs.
**Laughter and joking are sometimes used to deflect true emotions. It can be a coping skill for some.🙏🙏
Agree. This mother dtr dual deserve to return with a therapist in the middle. 🫶🏾
Yes that's why she can't communicate.
You are spot on, I 1000% agree
Hi can we exchange emails, I need you for my daughter and I. You have articulated the battle I’ve been in since she was 10.
Mothers hate when you tell your perspective of your story. They always feel attacked. Well, my mom does. Even though your perspective and what you went through during HER (mom’s) story -- also has effected you, too. They always compare their trauma to yours and because they feel what they went to was way worse - they feel no remorse for yours. Especially if mama has money and you didn’t experience poor. They feel your feelings are minor. My mom does that to me , too.
You literally hit all the nails on the head!!! From her feeling attacked and comparing your situation to hers! Whew Lord! I’m glad I’m not the only one!!!
I can cry tears because you got it 100% right that's how narcissistic parent are. Even put their children through the same trauma especially s*xually trauma
My son is 12. I’m a single mother that loves my child but I know I ain’t doing everything right; however, I try real hard to do right by him. I check in periodically with him at this age, we have real talks, and I adjust if needed. Some things he will understand when he gets older and has his own kids but some things I didn’t realize had an adverse effect on him so I listen, apologize, and try to adjust. I still won’t get it all the way right. There’s no manual and heck we all lack something so I just pray for God to stand in the gaps for things I lack.
@@angeleyes3396 that’s so admirable and the same exact thing I plan to do for my future children. All healthy relationships will require willingness and space for correction. Even businesses have to sometime check in with their audience for feedback. It’s the most considerate and responsible thing to do. I love that for you and your family!
Your comment honestly made me tear up a little bit because I was your mom. I’m still in my thirties but my daughter is 22. I had her as a teenager. I damaged her so bad because I was dealing with my own childhood trauma. You would never know that my daughter and I haven’t always gotten along if you see us now. God truly is able. Pray for God to reveal the entire truth to your mom. Pray for Him to open her heart, mind, and to convict her in her spirit. While you’re doing that ask God to change anything in you that may be interfering with your ability to extend grace to your mom. I’ll pray for you both. Seriously, because I never thought we’d have a healthy relationship. BUT GOD 💯🫶🏽🙏🏽💚
If I can change. Anyone can 💯
Mom and daughter are both very beautiful. However mom did a lot of deflecting whenever Jessica tried to explain how she felt. We need a part two to go beyond the surface. Mom shared her story,but didn’t allow Jessica to share hers.
I completely agree. May we have Jessica alone and maybe include her spouse to get his perspective on how he feels about her family history and how it affects them as a couple?
Her mom maybe is CONTROLLING? I am just saying
Why is everything about being beautiful??
jessica is still a child ... how she felt is not the entire truth...jessica is also spoilt..
@@veronicaglouster1713 Do you think Jessica was really able to elaborate on what the truth is/was from her perspective? I think Mom rudely interrupted most of the time. Please explain why you called her spoiled. I would like to understand. Thanks.
Hats off to you Laterras for remaining professional during this episode. Because of the playfulness and avoidance of questions it was hard to take them seriously some of the time. This episode shows why therapy is needed for generational hurt and I hope a strong therapist is able to resolve the multiple issues in this family. The daughter tried but the mother seemed to want to be the star of the episode more than staying focused and deal with her issues.
Yes!! They first need individual!! As a mental health provider I would not see them together at this point!!
I agree, but the mother was too much
African Americans have so much transgenerational trauma. These types of conversations are usually swept under the rug. But it’s the reason for a lot of the dysfunction that’s normalized.😔 Thanks Laterras for bringing light to these prevalent topics.
To God be te glory!
People of all races do.
I’m still shocked to see the normalization of abuse. As a culture, we have along way to go.
Thank you for taking my thoughts and writing them out! Wow! This is so true.
Any race of people have trauma. You Black Americans are so foolish, you think no one is without flaws or problematic history. .
This is very common between mothers and daughters. My story as a child is very similar. I'm now 52, my mom is 70 and our relationship is still not 100% but manageable. I wrote my mom an 8 page letter and mailed it at the beginning of the pandemic. This was easier because I didn't have to worry about her interrupting me nor taking the victim stance. My advice is to write a letter before therapy. 🙏🏾
This is what I suggested to a friend. So people express themselves best on paper & some may have a better understanding of written words ❤..
Laterras, you have several other episodes from this one family:
1. Jessica
2. Michelle
3. Jessica and her husband
4. Jessica and her father
5. In 6 months after counseling-Jessica/Michelle to discuss progress
We need a show with just Jessica so that we can actually HEAR her story. I would like to hear her father’s perspective, also.
Yes !!
I agree.
I have a Headache 😏😵💫 and I’m in school for Christian Counseling… they need separate individual counseling then come together… a lot of unresolved issues!!!! Wowww
Momma is still that 16 year old girl that needs healing from her Momma trauma. The daughter seems more of the grown up.
Facts!!
Exactly
The sad part that a lot of people don't recognize is when you're abused at such a young age your growth is stunted. She still has some young girl tendencies rightfully so. Look what she's been through. This was hard to watch. But relatable.
The mom is infuriating. Honestly. The justifications for EVERY single thing. I hate that she went through the things she went through, but let’s not use your trauma to overshadow your actions.. I love this show and it’s such a powerful force. I am so sorry for every mother or daughter who clicked and watched for tools and encouragement. This is a good laugh and lots of stories. I pray for this duo in their therapy and healing journey. Please, PLEASE revisit this issue with another mother daughter duo. ❤️❤️💜💜🙏🏾🙏🏾
I agree…. Please find another mother and daughter duo
Agree!!! Thought I would learn something that could be helpful….
Yeah please use another mother daughter duo
Agreed. The mom needs to learn to listen. She kept interrupting her daughter. Tough dynamic. Not very helpful. Just story telling not much healing or learning shared. And how they overcame the issues.
@@sweetilishous Yes..
I found the daughter to be very mature, intentional and want to grow to the right direction. I hope the mother will take it serious.
I’m only 37 minutes in and they actually needed their own episode, so that we could hear from both of them fully. I have issues with my mother, so our stories and points of view of the events are totally different, just like theirs. I would’ve love to hear from Jessica even moreso. But I Love this podcast & our wonderful host Laterras🙏🏽🫶🏽
I whole-heartedly agree. I wanted to hear Jessica finish her sentences.
They need them separately but recorded and posted at the same time so we hear the POV without it being a response to what the other said. I think that's what he did wrong with the Jackson's, if Derrick hadn't already viewed and seen months of comments on his wife's interview people would be more objective about their situation.
Exactly , I am the same way me and my mom have real issues this show really could have help a lot of people but they are not ready well the mom is not ready to address her issues really . She laugh to hide the pain .
This is seriously a trigger ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️
There is still so much more they need to acknowledge and heal from. She was a child, and her mother is holding her accountable for ideas and decisions she made out of instinct because she knew she was not safe. Momma was raised to chase a man to validate her worth and was following the assignment.
That's all she knew, so own that. That baby was a child, and because Momma didn't have a childhood, she projected it on her. Ugh💔
PRAYING for transparency, understanding, and healing!
Please have Jessica back on. Maybe she can talk about how the trauma affected her marriage and relationship with others.
Yes, please. Thank you.
I agree!
Yes, her mother took over. It was really sad.
Yessss
Yes. I agree and by herself
This started Sooooo great hearing Michelle’s POV and her story then when Jessica started it went downhill. I just wished mom would stop interrupting her trying to be petty. She could’ve inserted the details AFTER Jessica was finished she kept overtaking and butting in. Made the timeline VERY. All over the place . Laterrius we need you to bring a little order when this happens…
My thoughts as well..Laterras tried to reel Michelle in but to no avail.😊
Mom needs to go easy on the cosmetics 😢
Thank you LRW for these much needed conversations.
I was looking for this comment💀💄
😂😂😂😂
BeauTeeFul ❤Mommy Indeed
@@adaora1357Me too, because part of the reason I can't watch this episode is because of the creepy looking thumbnail.
I have so much grace for the Mom because she didn’t get what she needed as a child…
I love how her Mamma ensured that context was understood, all through.
At this point Laterras it's my pleasure to inform you that I've seen every episode on your podcast. Including those off the podcast, that's about 193+ hours of videos and I must say, that you deserve your flowers!
Thanks for being a blessing to me🙌
Ps. I'm Nigerian and we too get bugged out by the scammers 😂
Being a Nigerian living in America I see the influence of Jessica's Nigerian side in her maturity, drive, intelligence, being grounded, and the grace she is giving to her mum. She was even very protective of Dad while sharing the stories. It's a Daddy's girl thing lol. I hope your sister is doing much better these days, blessings to y'all on the journey, and I hope y'all find a good therapist. Thank you for apologizing to Nigerians on behalf of your mum, the great things Nigerian immigrants are doing in America speak for itself.
TO BE FAIR to Jessica's Mum....We can't deny the fact that "She was SCAMMED" into marriage for American Citizenship❗️. No-one with a female relative should overlook that and the signs were all there (35yr old marrying a teenager ? Hello). In todays world that raises a 🚩 flag. Kuddos to Jessica's Mum as she actually loves her daughter despite being scammed by her Dad, which I see as a good thing & helps out babysit and all.
I APPRECIATE and APPLAUD the many Nigerians doing well all over the world & not just USA. There is great excellence in many of you. Well-done to All of you, but Jessica's Mum stated a country statistical fact but 'are high in scamming not verbatim'- ( She didn't say Nigerians are bad people). All those terms "419rs , Yahoo Boys" etc mean something about a population with SOME Individuals capable of high level scamming. Of course there are other nations with high level scammers too but in Africa , Nigeria comes out top due to sheer largest population size (higher probability scale). Hope you don't take this with offence as I am not saying Nigerians are bad people at all. There are many amazing & wonderful Nigerians out there. It's like saying White people benefit from white privilege but not meaning all white people take advantage of their privilege on the whole world & certainly not that white people are bad.
Not sure that it's reasonable or accurate to attribute everything positive about the woman's personality to her father's ethnicity
I did, the same way her mum was able to attribute the undesirable parts to her dad's side which is where i'm from.@@utamu777
Mom hasn't gotten over her childhood trauma and I think she deals/cope with it by being a jokester...she is funny but when do you really get serious? Jessica couldn't really get her issues out because mom jokes about everything. They truly love each other so I hope that love drives them to therapy ASAP before real frustration of not being heard sets in.
As a first daughter of a nonchalant mother, I'm triggered but my mother don't have nothin on this lady.... I never would have made it. The daughter is completely unheard, the laughter feels like a muzzle.
I can't with the overtalking each other.😩
Be patient.... it gets better
Girl, me either…..🤦🏾♀️
This is so relatable. The mom did a lot of over talking. I wish she had allowed the daughter to tell how she saw things without all the interruptions.
They are hilarious but I’m glad the daughter knows to give her mom grace because mom was sharing about her own trauma of being molested and getting married at 16 to a man twice her age . That’s a lot to unpack as a child then having children young and not knowing how to love yourself explains a lot to why her mom is the way she is even with laughing it off . Every person deals with trauma differently , and it seems mom suppress through laughter . I pray they both get the healing they need and become even more healthy as mom and daughter
Just the intro was inteeeense omg mom let daughter speak!
Wow, can’t wait to watch this. I do mother-daughter coaching and finds it so courageous when a mother and daughter fight to save their relationship and break harmful patterns in the family.
Hi. What's your s.m. or website information?
How can I contact you?
@@R0yALtyS sure
He was cracking up but I really didn’t feel the humor. Mom used it as a way to control the interview and take the attention off herself.
Yes, this is what trauma can create. They both need counseling to continue to heal.
I'm glad, she mentioned mom was dancing around the issues. That is exactly what I was thinking. They have a great opportunity to heal this relationship. I pray they fimd the right person to help them through. I love Laterras' remarks about the power and manipulation, good clarity for mom.
I’m halfway through & I’m not sure if I can finish. Maybe in doses? I’m becoming increasingly irritated by the mother’s over talking her daughter & feeling the need to draw attention to her daughter’s mistakes & the choices she had to make AS A CHILD due to feeling unstable with either of her parents. The “how’d that work out for you?” & “if you going to tell the story you’ve got to tell it all” is really tapping on my nerves. Maybe because I’m still working through my mother issues is why it’s bothering me so much, but I don’t see a lot of maturity or empathy from mother to daughter here.
I was hoping this episode would offer me a perspective that challenged me to try to move toward having a relationship with my mother, but nope. Standing by my current boundaries.
I agree 100% with what you're saying. It's extremely annoying and she's not holding space for her daughter to share her perspective.
I’ve seen these dynamics play out when the mother and the child both have so much trauma. I feel sorry for both of them - a lot was taken from both of them and neither had a voice for many years.
Those who get it get those who don’t don’t!
Lesson: Listen longer! Generational trauma requires generational healing that’s only granted by the grace of God Himself
SO REAL & RELATABLE on every level! This conversation in itself is a reflection of what Jessica was getting to- there’s no resolve. A lot was said(applaudable) but a lot more was unsaid which is exhausting for the participants. Beautiful episode Laterras. Top five for sure 👏🏾
Thank you! You got it! Much respect 🙏🏾💐❤️
Laterras, please invite Jessica back solo. I couldn't receive much from this one but I'm here to support you.
Yeah I’m wore out just watching it
@@zazenglow349 Too much for me!
Years of compounded trauma!!! Sounds like me and my Mom's past. The good thing with them is that they still have a chance to talk and clear things up. I loved my Mom and was her caregiver for her final years, but because of dementia I didn't get the opportunity to talk with her about things. Loved her to life and still miss her today. I am spending the reminder of my life talking about what I went through so that other parents can not do some of the things done to me, and to show others that you can without closure God can heal the hurts. I broke many negative cycles in my family, and so grateful to God for showing me how. If you ever talk to bring me on the show I would be willing.
I can’t finish this… the mother keeps interrupting the daughter’s remembrance of the story..
I’ll just read the comments ✌🏾
Omg! She literally can't complete a sentence. This dynamic is a struggle for me.
@@luvthisway She didn't. Her mom was definitely for the cameras. I would love to hear Jessica. Mom was all about her looks and taking the spotlight.
Whewww yes! It's definitely exhausting to listen. And Lateras was constantly redirecting mom like a child. He was in his daycare worker bag for this episode 😂
I always like before I listen because this podcast is that good. God bless you Mr. Laterras
Me too!! 😂
Thanks for reminding me! 🥂
This one is difficult only because I am the mom thankfully not as many traumatic issues but I can understand my daughter’s perspective now even better. I think we’re getting counseling asap! Someone has to end the generational trauma
Honestly to be able to laugh authentically like this with your mother/daughter shows there is a LOT of love despite the past.
They’ll be just fine 😅
Weren't they hilarious!
I truly enjoyed them
I would Love for Jessica to come back I’m sure her story is one we need to hear ❤❤❤
They look like sisters… these ladies could literally write a NY Times best seller… generational trauma, generational toxic patterns, generational talents, generational abuse, generational strength, struggles and resiliency… Wow… I’m only 15 minutes in ❤❤. Thanks for sharing your story ladies and Thanks Leterras for the platform… still listening
Hello Laterras and DFW Family! Thank you for the new episode. I am only 16 mns in, and WOW, this conversation is heavy. Thank you for creating a safe space to have these conversations.
Have a great day everyone!
i can relate to the overtalking and a bit uncomfortable with reliving truth and accepting her perspective. it’s not easy hearing your child talk about the trauma they endured due to your decisions.
This episode was slightly annoying. I do like the topic, however I feel like because of the toxicity neither left space for the other to express a complete thought. What I did appreciate about both ladies is they absolutely know where they are in their relationship and are willing to work to get better and healthier. I do want to request a pod with maybe a mother/daughter duo who possibly have overcome their toxic behavior so that we can see what it looks like to be on the other side of the mountain. All in all I love the way Laterras is able to pivot with any type of guest to stay on topic and address the serious issues at hand! Difficult to watch but needed it was needed to identify behaviors in our own relationships.
This daughter :( wow : I DO SEE what you had to deal with. I really think your mother may just be bipolar and not know it. This episode was a LOT! I’m glad you’ve learned to find the joy in all this level of trauma . I literally moved away from a whole neighborhood due to a toxic home where a mother and daughter would fall out Every month OUTSIDE disturbing the peace. This is why maturity is Required Before having kids. Because when kids have kids the level of maturity isn’t developed enough to effectively parent due to the mom and dad lacking in so many areas. I’m thankful she’s moved on with her life and hopefully if grandkids are involved that the cycle doesn’t continue - whew I need to walk off all this drama - wow
This is one of the most powerful, enlightening, and hits home episodes that you had thus far. I really love their transparency and honesty, and we need more episodes like this.
Wow.
Sometimes we must discuss the tough topics!
I commend these women for their transparency and bravery❤
And the seed that was born to me was “chucky”, I can’t…too funny! 😂😂😂 This was a good balance to get through some challenging topics!
Trigger warning.... ⚠️ I am my mothers' only daughter... this hits home HARD
How so?
Wow! This episode was like a mirror reflection of my mom and I. We are 19 years apart as well and although I don’t like to bring zodiacs into things; I’m a Virgo like Jessica and the oldest of 2 girls. Having a young mom is a blessing and a struggle. Lots of fun and a friendship because you grow up together. People always think you’re sisters and they (the moms) love it. However, it can be lacking in the nurturing and structural aspect with a tiny bit of resentment mixed in there. The hurt I’ve experienced in my relationship with my mom came out in a mental breakdown several years ago that led to our healing. I pray that they can get paired with a wonderful therapist and begin their journey to healing. 🙏🏾💕
This one was a bit out of control but when she said "a cup of shut up" I almost fell off this chair!!!🤣🤣🤣
Michelle started out all sophisticated, then she came out with all that personality. 😂 Our kids will take us there. 😄
Her mom got married at 12?😮 Time has changed! God for them for being so transparent. This is Different. This season is getting better and better.
I love the grace that Laterras has for his guests. These type of relationships are real.
This family dynamic explains a lot of how black girlsand women have been treated. Glad the awareness is here and that we are at a turning point
Jessica should come back and speak her truth. To much interruptions.
The mom is a hot mess but they get along now just funny and fun🥰
Laterres truly has a gift for finding the perfect guests to interview and asking the best most thought provoking questions. I'm over hear crying laughing and really enjoying this whole interview!
I literally laughed out loud during this episode. However, I wish Jessica was able to speak more Michelle was ALOT but her humor was refreshing. I would love an episode with just Jessica i feel like everytime she wanted to either go deep or unpack certain things her mom swooped in with the jokes. All in all I so enjoyed this episode ❤❤❤
I enjoyed this because they both revealed a great deal. I thought the mom was hilarious. I appreciate the rawness and vulnerability from both. Its never easy to discuss family or childhood traumatic experiences and memories. So that was amazing they did it with humor and honesty. Respect Jessica's hustle will be looking into her sponsorship business. I hope they both will find their perfect therapist for them and will come back maybe 6 months from now for a part 2. They showed the layers to a mother-daughter relationship. You get a ride or die,a bestie, a friend, and so much more.😊❤❤❤❤#DearFutureWifey 💙💎💍🙏🏽👩🏾🦲
There's 2 types of emotions. I feel for them both but I also feel like Jessica doesn't have a voice. I understand Michelle wanting her to tell the whole story. There's so much pain here. They're laughing, but is there forgiveness in the laughter.
I am appreciative that they’re on. This is helping me too. I never realized how much my relationship with my mom (I don’t blame her for my upbringing. She did what she knew at her age) has caused trauma. I’m grateful to God for this platform because it’s helping me in every area of my life! Thanks for being a vessel King! You’re right where you need to be! ❤
This Mom is Hilarious!! I think because of the life she lived she learned how to laugh through things. Laughter and jokes have been a coping mechanism for her.
Man, I'm only a few minutes in and I'm almost in tears. Wow, the trauma her mother must have felt - smh! Her foundation was so unstable, no wonder Jessica and her have issues - whew!!
Yeah, and also I felt Jessica was really uncomfy wich Is understandable.
These two need a tv show. Absolutely hilarious!
I wish her mom would’ve allowed her to tell her story and not continued to ambush her. That bothered me.
Thanks for posting this. Mama trauma is real and nothing will ever get resolved if the hard conversations are never had. My mom shuts down and avoids confrontations. My voice and feelings are suppressed and I feel obsolete , like I don’t matter to my mom. I finally received counseling and I had to just go NO contact. I am focused on protecting my peace and going on with my life… without all of the toxicity and drama .🙏🏽❤️ My prayers are for healing for everyone.😊
OMG, those 2 were hilarious. It's great that they recognize their needs for Family Therapy.
I'm glad that they still are able to laugh past their rough patches. I'm praying for their entire family.
Celeste, in the A-T-L ☘️
This is probably my favorite episodes. I’ve seen other episodes that impacted my life incredibly. But this one here has me rolling! I love their dynamic and personalities. I pray for healing and blessings for their families!
This episode was overwhelming.. started off good and then went all over the place. ( my opinion)
As someone who got divorced a couple years ago with 2 kids. I realllllly wonder what their perspective will be when they grow up. I have been a child, but my children cannot even imagine what its like being an adult. I pray that I will be open and willing enough to own my ish and have these very complicated conversations when they get older. My kids are 9 and 10 and I try my best to be honest with them and let them know that they have room to express their feelings about decisions I have made without judgement.
What they both are wanting is to have their experiences ( their truth) validated. BUT, they want to hear from one another “I’m sorry for the decisions I made and the way I handled you “
Mom uses humor to cover her guilt and pain , not realizing .. the sooner she takes accountability for her decisions , the sooner she will be redeemed .
Listening to this makes me appreciative of my childhood. I have siblings that have created trauma stories about their childhood. One or two have even gotten angry with me because I think they forget that I was present (youngest sibling). So, there significant other would attempt to "fact check" by asking about stories they were told. When I asked, "when did that happen?" it created dissension because they lied to their significant other about situations. It was sort of a situation where I feel like they are trying to "one up" the person that had childhood trauma with creating stories. My response was and is always, "they should have done blah blah to you." My parents were great parents.
Mama was too worried about being judged. GIRL YOU ARE NOT YOUR PAST, IT WAS WHAT IT WAS
We desperatly need a part two with a therapist onboard so mom can listen as well.
Laughing is okay some of the time, but when used as deflection and projection it is not beneficial for either of them.
Sending prayers for you Jessica!!
Laterras you are really doing the Lords work … this trickles into siblings relationships, intimate relationships etc… unresolved disappointments & discussions just laughing or ignoring through trauma … I can so relate 😢
This conversation blessed me so much. I have come to realize especially in the black community that we have normalized transgenerational trauma that if we aren't exposed to healed whole people from all walks of life, we fuel and sew seeds of psychological and emotional poverty for future generations. We need them back on the podcast!
This episode is fun ... and ... I wish we could hear the daughter's stories without the distracting interruptions from the mom. Ironically, I have this same conversation pattern (deflecting serious topics with humor), and I've been actively working on it for years (I learned it from my father). It was definitely interesting to observe it playing out. Thanks for trying to get them back on track Laterras.
This was definitely a hard watch because this still seems a bit toxic. I hope that in the future you can do another video about mothers/daughters and how to truly overcome and work through toxic family issues etc.
I say leave your relationship as is!! Counseling may turn left!! You guys seem good together on the surface! We all have pass trauma, have grace with each other and continue bonding with what you have!
As a daughter that has had a difficult relationship with her mother it was hard watching this. Genuinely expressing yourself and feelings and to have them dismissed, minimized or to be questioned about you remembering your life correctly and the overall extraness of a mother that’s in silent competition with you. Praying for you Jessica.
For black women therapists checkout Therapy for Black Girls….there is a nationwide directory and it shows their areas of expertise. Hope this helps 💙
Loved this conversation. I have a very similar toxicity with my mother. Praying one day we can get counseling together.
The mom’s over talking and attention-seeking was so distracting. I stopped watching halfway through because it was so hard to follow.
This is a pot of spaghetti... i pray that Lady Jessica releases her voice. They say that with each generation the family becomes more evolved of family issues. Praying that Jessica gets beyond her mother's shadow
Great comment🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Mom's references to movies and celebrities is hilarious!
This was needed. I learned but I really appreciate the laughter. I would definitely like to see a second episode and with the Nigerian dad as well 😂
This is fun; these people really healed!
Mum is really a truth teller
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Love this episode. They both definitely need their own episode on the yellow couch and your right! They need a podcast.
Laterras, thanks again for your obedience. I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL WEDNESDAYS to hear and see your podcast. This was a good one. Mom has been through a lot, and needs grace. I had to keep reminding myself of that. I love that they have a close and open relationship and wish I had that in my own life.
As a mental health coach this is a great convo, but Michelle shows her avoidance and Jessica loves her mom but she still doesn’t have a voice or know how to set boundaries with her mother because she wants the relationship she missed and Michelle loves her daughter but some parts of her don’t want to be like her mom but she shows up in that negative space at times and it becomes a little like manipulation in order to create a relationship she wants with her daughter with her stipulations..God bless them both !! I am rooting and praying for them..
I had the same experience trying to find a black, female therapist in my local area. After 4 tries (emailing and leaving voicemails), I’ve finally found one, so we’ll see how it goes. After two visits, I’m hopeful.
Great episode. It’s good that they could share their story with respect and love. They still need to heal but can laugh. It’s always a different perspective once a daughter grows up and starts making her own choices. In my own healing process of processing my healing journey it was when I was able to identify with my mom as a woman, that brought the healing for us.
Lots of layers to peel back. I appreciate their transparency. I wonder how the other children's relationship is with the mom as well. I think considering the mom's trauma history things could have been much worse. I would be interested to hear the Grandmother's story as well. I wish them much success on their healing journey.
Great episode, much dysfunction here! I wish I could've heard more of Jessica's story and traumas and I wish mom would've just listened and allowed her to share her experiences and not continually tried to overshadow her experiences. Please bring Jessica and her husband back WITHOUT MOM. Jessica your mom is a peace of work and most of us listening understand your trauma. We see the hurt and pain all over your face. Your smiles look like they hurt in some instances. Praying for your healing Sis. Hopefully yall can get the counseling needed.
First thank you Michelle and Jessica for having the courage to sit on the yellow couch and talk about all your business. These ladies definitely have an interesting dynamic...they act more like sisters than mother and daughter. Nonetheless I can see how much Jessica would like to really communicate and discuss deep issues with her mom...I just don't think her mom is ready. She probably has a lot of layers to unpack. I hope they can get to do this with therapy. There is one thing I don't doubt...is their love for each other❤
This episode is so relevant to myself and daughters that have toxic mothers such as this one. There is so much here- the mom is very broken and controlling still and doesn’t even allow her daughter to speak, vent or be herself and her daughter continues to allow her mother to interrupt her and dictate her own narrative. This whole dynamic is toxic and I hope they both get the help and healing that is so apparently needed.
I would have also liked to see Laterras take more control of the episode and steer the conversation even with interjection so both parties could finish each other’s thought. Didn’t see this until the end and even when Laterras tried to check Michelle, he couldn’t get a grip on her. They need Iyanla Vanzant! This is not entertaining, it’s heartbreaking 💔
The thing is that there is a child’s point of view and the adult’s. She is speaking on how she felt at the time.
The dynamic of their relationship is literally exactly how me and my mom's relationship is!! A lot of things about Jessica's personality is just like me Because I'm also a fourth, possibly 5th Generation of women Virgos. I feel like this is everything my mom would say about me and everything I would say about my mom.I love the vulnerability of these 2 women.❤❤
Jessica hit the nail on the head when she said her mom dances around things...her mom also had a good point that they need a counselor. The problem is covered in jokes and laughs and it doesn't solve anything.
I really enjoyed this episode. I was able to listen to it with my mom and it opened the door to dialogue that I don’t think I could have had without their conversation about trauma. This was a blessing. Thank you ladies and Laterras!
Wow, this hits home hard it more ways then one. From knowing someone who's mother who forced her to marry at the age of 19 to a 50 year old man recently to the not being able to find a African American woman counselor to assist in dealing with the transgenerational trauma or just trauma in general. Great show as always Laterras thanks for covering the topic.
These two women (mom/daughter) are so funny. I love it.!!! But moreover, I love the story and their now friendship.