Ozzy Man Reviews: MAGPIES
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- čas přidán 9. 10. 2019
- Here's me commentary on Magpies as the swooping season in Australia starts to simmer down.
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Fair Dealing - satire, parody, review, commentary.
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“Wait, I hear something. C*nt-Bird, away!”
Thank you, I needed that phrase in my life!!
That was one of the things I may have called one today 😀
And I thought Aussie’s weren’t afraid of anything
just hoop snakes, drop bears and maggies.
I'm surprised those birds aren't somehow venomous.
@@vallov4188 only in personality.
@@vallov4188 they are
NOT AFRAID , just hate surprises spiders drop on yah ,Tickles & Drop bears🐨 that bungie down & steal your sandwiches etc 👍🐨😆🧡
"Staying inside for 2 to 3 months during spring"
Weirdly prophetic
It's fall in Oz, but yeah, weird for the rest of us.
@@2HRTS1LOVE no it's not lol
@@softbleach487 it's not now but it was when he commented
@@Sn3aKyK1LL3R still no. The season is the same around the world, how do you not know this?
@@softbleach487 😂
"Oddly placed pelicans"...ozzy man always finds the wierdest way of looking at things and says the best way of describing it. Just an absolute legend!
Magpie Vs Cassowary. Whoever wins, we lose.
You are right. But, IMO, cassowary makes Jurassic Park seem plausible - and, maybe, even tame.
Those things are terrifying face-to-face. Went to Parque das Aves in Foz do Iguaçu, Brazil. I am 6'4” and I am a strong 235 lbs. Hell no! Magpie is a TV dinner for those things.
Magpie distracts, Cassowary murders, all while kookaburra laughs hysterically
@@WSKRBSCT k. There are videos of people standing in front of them. They aren't vicious killing machines like how you described though I'm not doubting what kind of damage they can do with a swipe
@@tonyg5132 You may want to look into the epitome of hyperbole.
Still doesn't change the fact that: a) I prefer a 5’ fence between a cassowary and me; 2) No magpie or mockingbird has the potential to inflict anywhere near as much damage; 3) A cassowary still looks like a relic from millions of years ago, relative to the other birds (or pretty much just about any current bird) in the conversation.
Relax, man.
PS - I have stood in front of one as well without being killed. Pretty sure that's how I wrote this in the first place. ;)
Still doesn't change the fact that they don't look like they are from another time long ago in history and make emu and ostrich look kind by comparison.
2:15 Not gonna lie, that look of sheer terror on the face of twig lady cracked me up the most!
czcams.com/video/YGGTcYfrEZU/video.html
@@gazjones6496 Thank you! I was unsuccessfully looking for this in the video description. I wish Ozzy Man was more diligent with his sources...
Anyway, thanks again, man! :D
It's probably what she imagines war to be like and may well be at her the-rapists with ptsd, if her reaction is anything to go by. It was after all flying dangerously near.
Poor lady on a bike, living in fear
Lmao this is why I'm forever alone. If that happened to a significant other I wouldn't be able to help due to laughing my ass off.
People who don’t live in Australia will never know the true fear of being swooped by a magpie
they are a protected species in idaho, and jerks too
@@jimmyw7655 Wait, are the jerks a protected species? Because I for one think being a jerk should make it open season on them.
I always chase them away when it’s not spring just for some sweet revenge but when it becomes spring I avoid them as much as possible lol
@@jimmyw7655 the ones in the video are Australian magpies which are a throw of butcherbird. The magpies everywhere else aren’t related they are actually a type of crow
There's a whole lot of other birds around the world that does the same thing when they defend their eggs and their babies
“Oddly placed Pelican”
Hahaha
1:05 "Oddly placed pelican, screw you" 😂😂
1:48 -- Easily the most raw, primal reaction to a bird attack ever caught on camera. If Hollywood is thinking of remaking "The Birds," they should take a cue from this clip!
Don’t give them ideas film was perfect they would ruin it😂
Classic Aussie quote
*Magpie squawk*
@@samuraisoul1043 They would invent feminist birds or something today.
I would love a birds remake the original is ridiculously slow, understandable for the time but unbearable in today's standards for a good horror.
Edit: I miss good old monster movies
I feel like Ozzy changed his mind about cats because he probably was chased by a magpie before making this video.
how do we know that wasnt him at the 2:00 mark
Guaranteed
@@9321spiderman He has been chased his whole life.
We all have.
Mate. He is Australian. we ALL have been swooped multiple times daily every year. Even in the cities
czcams.com/video/mwZL4_1Xgjg/video.html
I own a magpie, it fell out the nest at two weeks old... I still have it 7months later, they are super intelligent. It goes out into the world daily and comes back home! 🍻
Because it's imprinted on you
Does it come home with blood and hair on its beak?
they come back after swooping innocent ppl 😂
Good luck, they live for 25 years!
You got that arse about face, they own you, not you them.
Aussies: not afraid of all the venomous, poisonous, carnivorous animals
Also Aussies: afraid of magpies, and emus
Mainly because the Box Jellyfish doesn't attack you for no reason when you go the the bus stop.
They did lose a war against emus back in the day. The painful memories.
Emus. . Nah. They run off and don’t attack. But fucking magpies. Everyone here has a story about magpies attacking. They’re not the worst though. But are the most common. Masked plovers. When nesting will get really viscous. They like open space like cleared fields and parks to lay eggs. They have hooks or spurs on their wings that they strike you with. Nasty as F.
Venomous Creatures don't go out of their way to fuck you up like magpies do.
Next to sharks magpies probably are the most dangerous by body count. They claim half a dozen eye balls each year and managed to kil a guy a few weeks ago.
"Cunt bird away" - Ozzy, 2019; i died laughing xd
Same, lost it so hard I had to pause the video for a minute.
Human: *minding their own buisness*
Magpie: *target acquired*
Well, at least they don't have guns, bombs or bullets!
@@lovetotruck78 or nukes
@ak15 1150 u being serious?
@ak15 1150 well no, people get swooped for just walking by, nowhere even near the nest. The males are just stupidly aggressive in mating season
*Giant spieder
Aussies: 🙂
*Some angry pidgeon
Aussies:😟
Just like Floridians, they'll wrestle alligators but fear for their lives if they see a black person at a store
"So you have a horror script for me?"
"Yes sir I do and it's all about birds."
"Wait what?"
"Yeah yeah yeah birds are super scary."
And birdemic was made...
@@redphantom0019 Also the Birds from Hitchcock lol
ah super scary birds are tight
@@TheRibottoStudios You are cute 😍😇
Ozzy is a Champion
And, the world is gonna take her name
Such a heart of fame
*She is fans dear Love* 😘
I'm a forever true fan no matter even when u grow old.
We all support you from heart 💓
@@hourglassartstudio51 well ok then
“Oddly placed pelican” this really tickled me I love this dude he’s awesome
_"It's like being in Command & Conquer Red Alert 2"_
*Ah, I see you're a man of culture as well!*
I was so impressed by that. Like, I thought Ozzy couldn't get any cooler
As an Australian I can confirm that this bird is probably the only animal in this country that I’m afraid of, I barely look at snakes... but if I see one of these bois best believe I’m not taking my eyes of him
So you're not afraid of cassowaries?
@@b-willforreal4764 cassowaries don't live in urban areas
Yeah but i was riding to school the other day and for some god damn reason not one not two not even 3 magpies but 5 MAGPIES SWOOPED ME
"Wait... I hear something. Cunt bird away"
Classic Ozzyman voiceover work. Absolutely amazing.
"A personality disorder is better than magpie attack"
Lol.
Agreed. I bet in the version of Joker released in Australian theatres, instead of being abused by his adopted mother's boyfriend, Arthur gets his psychoses from magpies and only from magpies.
Can confirm magpie season causes depression
Source: me and the magpie that tore my scalp open
Magpies in Europe: bootleg crows
Magpies in Australia: *literally demons*
I've been watching magpies for years. They are very family oriented. I've seen them help each other under attach by a hawk.
I feed the magpies leftovers throughout the year, they never attack me. They also follow me when I'm weeding to get the bugs. They will go for every other passer by and I can pont and laugh without fear.
It's funny and I've preached the same thing for many years... they remember kindness and people that show them a little love... bit of mince meat every now and again goes a long way with these gorgeous little souls... I love the ones that nest around my home... love the calls they make.. and how friendly they are... Lawn bugs they LOVE... I remember years ago having this lawn pest, white things... God they followed me around waiting for me to eject them out of my lawn and been friends ever since!!
They've infested NZ too. My local ones come up and peck on the sliding door at dawn when they're nesting for their daily tribute of soggy cat biscuits, and now they leave us alone - they smash the shit out of the ducks and other pest birds though, which is actually super helpful 'cause they always fuck with my garden. They're kind of like an avian mafia, but they're smarter than most dogs I've known, and I think we've reached an understanding.
You dumb f*ks who feed wild animals cause issues for others. It's no different than feeding stupid feral cats. Sure they will follow you it's called instinct and survival, they're not your friend you weirdos. I can do the say with Coyotes, feed them and they won't bother me, but then go next door and kill the neighbor's chickens. You people let emotions get in the way of logic and think wild animals are like humans.
They sound like a extortion gang now
@@BlazeCrow lol just got to pay them that “protection fee” and you’ll be fine
“Cunt Bird Away” should be the next best selling Ozzy Man t-shirt
Aaron Bowers idk I’m a fan of big fuck off octopus
1:58 "I stay inside for 2 to 3 months every spring. I develop mental health issues"
2020: We feel you Aussie, we feel you
"cUnt biRd AwaY!" I am dyingggg 🤣🤣🤣
"Cnt bird away"
Ozzy man 2019
Aser Geremew ...that killed me. My stomach's gonna be sore for a week.
"Red Alert 2" - my respect for you knows no bounds
Yesss RA2 is awesome
Yeap
Cnc tiberiam wars is the best
@@Rockstopmotion - in hindsight? it's fantastic - but I was an RA2 snob back then ;)
I was thinking the same thing lol
We feed a family of five Magpies each day, when I leave the front wire door open one even comes in through the door waiting to see what's up, when I return with their food he happily wanders out and I feed him by hand and throw the rest of the food to his family.
In my opinion Magpies are extremely sociable.
Judging by your American flag pic, I assume you're American.
American/Eurasian magpies are highly intelligent corvids who can come to accept you if you earn their trust.
Apparently, Australian magpies are sometimes capable of doing the same thing, but... they're not corvids. Which means there may be some differences in their behavior. Aussie magpies are instinctively more protective and territorial about guarding their nests, whereas a common magpie will react differently to humans, cats, dogs, and many other animals who come within a certain proximity to their nests (they anipe owls on sight, though).
So, yeah, the maggies you encounter behave so differently for a reason.
They snipe* owls
@@Major003 As an Australian, who lives in Australia I certainly must change my US avatar which I used due to my earlier blogging on the US Constitution.
i got magpies in my front yard and i feed them.
when my x comes to take my kids off me she hides in her car from them :p
that explains all the holes in the back of ya head!
You are a bloody legend! 🤣🤣🤣
Awesome strategy! Have the police put an AVO on the Magpies?
@@johndehaan2764 probably not they value there eyes
"Nothing a flame thrower couldn't solve" is a phrase surprisingly applicable on many situations including these.
Can't help my grades
My first thought when I see a Trump rally
@@katerh3198 Couldn't care less about American politics, no matter what senile old git you chose.
"quote from the video"
thousand plus likes incoming
"Laughing Emoji"
Fak u
Me: 2019
Nah yeah nah your a confirmed dickhead
ok but why you mad?
Ozzy man: I just stay inside two to three months in Spring
Me: *S A M E*
Me : all the time
We are right now
Ah hell. I clicked one short Ozzy video and now it's hours later again.
*"I'm gonna get you once,*
*I'm gonna get you twice,*
*and just when you think I'm done*
*I'm gonna get you the third* *time"*
Damn😂
They aren’t that bad, just feed a couple of them and they will tell all the rest that you are a good person, and none of them will attack you.
ya serious?
no name yes, I am. They are actually quite an intelligent bird, if you do the right thing by them you are all good.
Yeah, I feed mine, now the call in the morning at the back door for some cheese.
@@rsoul7282 Yeah i have a family of maggies that live in our backyard, u know when they have arrived as they whinge & carry on to let u know they're here & want food. They're quite tame now & come as close as under the patio to eat. I also have a huge flock of Galahs, Rosella's, Lorikeets & one cocky that have adopted us, i put seed & fruit out every morn & night for them, they eat better than me 😂
With puppy intestines?
I'd take a tennis racket with me everywhere I go
"Cunt bird" hahaha that one really made me laugh, cheers Ozzy 😂😃😅
“Struggling to reduce carbon emissions because no one wants to ride bikes.” I honestly can’t tell if that’s hyperbole or not.
its fact.
Come to Denmark here everyone rides Bikes
@@thisguyhd6591 Well you wouldn't if you had these Aussie fuckin' magpie cunts pecking at your eyes, haha!
@Gary Oak and homosexuals to you too.
My girl friend quit her morning bike ride for a month while these birds were raising a brood. We both feed the birds around in our respective back yards including magpies and those individuals would never attack us but it's the ones further from our homes who may. We have both been hit once. One came up behind me decades ago. Dead silent, it hit me in the back of the head while I was walking (really hard with its beak, you might think that would hurt the bird but they don't seem to care). I can confirm it hurts, a lot, but for us no long lasting affects.
Occasionally someone will lose an eye and I've heard of someone falling off their bike with fatal consequences from a magpie attack.
"I stay inside for two three months I definitely mental health issues but" this spoke to me on extremely personal level hahaha
How about now?
Australia: Declarede once war on emus. Still getting defeated by their allies ever after.
"myum this peg is tasty!" got me, best puppy impersonation of the year
"Worm flavored vaping juice"
Ozzyman- 2k19
Lol. Had to have a chuckle at that phrase.
"Oh and I also ordered a jar of Belle Delphine's bath water" 😂
1:29
Ive been working at a greyhound track for 8 years, and there's heaps of magpies around in the trees, never have they swooped anyone. They are in fact very friendly and carefree. They're Awesome.
Never have I screamed louder or ran faster in my life than when I ran away from a magpie, thinking I was safe until I turned and realised IT WAS STILL AFTER ME
I love seeing cats tackle kids. I don't know why but I rate it 10/10.
they’re about to lose another war to birds
A magpie used to wait for me after work when i lived in Sydney! It was like getting bullied after school!
I grew up with Magpies in northern CA, damn birds can open garbage cans and trash a yard on pick up day. They didnt swoop there, but the town was paying for collected heads, so I am sure that deterred them from being near people
North Americian magpies are completely different birds to Australian magpies.
@@anzaeria Of course, just like field mice and a number of same named animals.
“Looking for eye balls to poke out like Toby Green from GWS” that killed me
I thought he said like Draymond Green from GSW (Golden State Warriors) It appears as though I was tripping
Black mamba: I'm one of the most dangerous animals in the world
Magpie: Hold my freshly retrieved human eyeballs
i worked for the council, had to always carry medical supplies for park goers for magpies eye gouges
I have beef with this magpie who lives outside the shopping centre where I work and has been attacking me every spring since I was in high school. This spring I had enough and managed to chase it off with my umbrella lol. However the magpies who live near my grandma's house adore me, they never swoop me and I feed them breakfast nearly every morning. Usually if you were present during the magpie's nest-building (this was the case with my grandma's house) they will recognize you and will not attack you. But they really can be shitheads 😂😂
i remember the 'magpie scurge' when growing up in Scarborough (Perth WA). We sued to go everywhere on our bicyles and every now and then (nesting season) we had to avoid certain areas where the magpies were. I recall them making a 'clicking' noise as they flew very close - I presume that was their beaks. I think the only thing I feared worse was a pack of dogs.
I get swooped 5x a day, until one day I threw my fist into the air and hit one. Felt bad, but I haven’t been bothered by one for two whole weeks so I think it worked.
You do realise if you feed them they stop attacking you, no need to hurt them
Stupid
How is this possible? I see magpies all the time and only been swooped once in my whole life. You must be doing something to piss them off lol.
@@MrTripleXXXIt would occur along my 25 minute bike ride to high school when I used to live out of town. It's very common outside of urban areas.
They seem to absolutely HATE bikes, from what I've read. They could be why.
(I personally suggest laying out some magpie-friendly food like how I do with the crows in town located in the US. _I'm amassing a crow army.)_
Addendum: check the legality with your national, state, province, and city laws before you lay out ANY food for them. Also recommend against hand feeding them.
I had my right ear in blood in my first year living in Australia by this bloody bird. The "funny" things was that an elderly Aussie couple watching me inside their car were laughing their ass off while I was being attacked LOL
There's actually a way to stop magpies you have to get a sharp stick and wave it around your head and trust me the magpies won't come near
@@Mole_rats All you have to do is stare back at them and they won't come near you.
No they will try to peck your eyes out
@@Mole_rats Not if you return their stare. If you look directly at a perching magpie, they will usually not swoop. Works about 90% of the time. Generally, they will swoop you when you're looking elsewhere.
@@anzaeria Just encounter one today morning, Even when I was looking at it, it dived right into my face for more then a dozen times I shielded it off with my shoulder bag. your myth is busted.
I lived near a paddock growing up and when spring came it because a no go zone, but the BP was on the other side and the paddock was the quickest way so your options were to take the long road or grow some balls and bolt through the paddock with whatever you could hold to fight off the magpies ... good times lol
“like toby greene from GWS”
best line
The last time I was quick Magpies hadn't wiped out humanity yet
On Reddit I asked an Australian what he thinks about magpies. His response, “evil bastards”.
I accidentally paused at 2:22 and the horror on her face is absolutely killing me!! LMAO
@Sean Baytley jeez!
Magpies are very smart birds. I had a family nesting in a tree in my backyard. The male, which i named Swoop, would follow me to the end of the street on my way to school. The only people who had a problem being swooped by him, were a bunch of ferals who tried to take their babies from my tree. These lovely birds cop so much shit from little kids throwing stuff at them in fear, adults encouraging it etc. No wonder they're aggressive sometimes.
They are a pain.
Ozzy most likely knows this, being a local and all but...
A man died recently when he fell off his pushbike while attempting to avoid a magpie attack.
N b
Eurasian mapie : Chaotic neutral
Australian magpie : Chaotic evil
"Kunt bird away" lol
“C*nt bird away” 🤣🤣🤣
"DickHead helmet cam?"
Brilliant😆
Amazing maneuverability with pinpoint accuracy.
Never been swooped, but love to watch. Love Maggies.
I admire them. I'm lucky enough to have a roosting pair in my big tree in the yard. Third year. My maggies are super, super clever. They don't swoop me, because they know I'm far from a threat. They really like meaty leftovers. Such a plucky, pretty and clever bird.
“Oddly placed pelican” 😂😂
Hey you beautiful bastard, here's me comment!
I recently watched "WATCHMEN" and there's a character called "Ozymandias".
I only thought "Ozzy Man Dias" and couldn't stop laughing. Thank you for that!
I am Ozzy Man Dias king of kings... Look on my works ye mighty and despair...
🤣🤣🤣
@@sasbetasquadron873 ok mate calm yourself we all did GCSE english
@@tomlewis719 yeah or watched Alien Covenant
This is so true, Spring is especially bad when it comes to these guys, fellow Ozzy sub came in, looking forward to more vids lol!
Just when you thought it was only magpies I’ve been swooped by a common miner 🤣🤣
The magpies in Scotland are so chill, it’s crazy to see them act like this.
Australian Magpies are not the same as Europe and North American Magpies. Different types.
@@CB.5 Yeah, not even the same family.
These red eyed demons are nothing like Asian magpie either
@@CB.5 can confirm canadian magpies are just fine
@@Ty-vk5do everything in canada is friendly, even the bears
"I'm going to blame the victim here." Lol
'Looking for eyeballs to poke out, like Toby Green from GWS.' That had me cracking up! xD
I was going to ride my bike in an area I found to go downhill but then magpies just started trying to swoop me because there was trees around. But the thing is the area where I ride my downhill is also where I walk to the bus stop, mostly because I almost miss the bus and no magpies come charging at me. Even when I was probably 100 metres from them one was trying to swoop me and I stayed on the same spot and was scared to take of my helmet because he might get my head so I walk my bike home still swoops me. So then I rode my bike full speed to get away from them so I can just go home.
“Dickhead helmet cam” 😂😂
Was looking for someone noticed it XD that got me killed 😂😂😂😂
That bird is my spirit animal when my friends tries to steal my fries at McDonald's
We have a type of small blackbird and when it is nesting season look out. They like to nest in shrubby trees - exactly the kind that firms like to plant in the sidewalk to look nice. There was once a good nesting tree that was on a main pedestrian thoroughfare within view of a newspaper headquarters and every year someone's picture getting attacked would end up on the pages. lol. Then the managers cut down the tree and planted something else.
Two creatures one should shield their eyeballs from: magpies and the wild Toby Greene
Is this a quote of something or is the deja Vu strong today?
This was one of the hardest laughs I had to stifle
I'm glad I'm on the other side of the world where I'm not around this ferocious beast
0:23 poke your eyes out like Toby green from GWS . hahaha good one
It's a constant fear of wondering if you're gonna get swooped by them.
When Birdemic came out, people were laughing...
well no one's laughing now
when that movie came out all of us Australians were like "is this a movie or a documentary on Australia?"
@@soldiert0144 Was the same said of the movie "The Birds"?
as someone who has a personality disorder, I can confirm that i rather have this than get me head pecked in
Command and conquer bit made me laugh so hard 😂
"Wait! I hear something...
...C#$& bird away!"
Ozzy. That is some fair dinkum, hilarious commentary haha! I love it!
1:47 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lmfao I'm dying
Thanos: *you should've... You should've gone for the head*
Fly Magpie:
"Worm flavoured vaping juice." 😂😂
I lost it.
Command and Conquer reference killed me, Nice one maaaaaaaate ;)
"Looking for eyeballs to pokeout like Toby Greene from GWS"
Got me dead
Ah, just give em a bit of food. They'll remember you and like you.
Yep! Years ago in Perth when one took off half of my cat's ear and my toddler kids were being constantly attacked, I decided to make friends not only by offering tidbits of food but also by brushing my dogs outside. They LOVE dog fur for their nests, actually many birds do.
Hochspitz Leonbergers I thought you were going to say they like eating dog fur
It kinda sucks though that you have to give up some of your food just to live in peace. It's like paying a tithe to a feudal lord.
@@k-leb4671 aye aye, fine sir you appear to be way behind on your magpie tax. we don't want any trouble right?
0:19 looking for eyeballs to poke out just like Toby Greene from GWS.
Is arguably the best Australian joke in the video
This bloke is a bloody legend