Some more fun notes about Houston from a native Texan: 1. Houston has no zoning laws. So you can and will pass a horse ranch, a strip mall, an office block, a residential development, and a light industrial site, all in the same mile stretch of avenue. 2. Related to the traffic thing, 2a. Matt must have caught Houston traffic on a good day because there are parts that can make Atlanta blush, we're talking barely moving for over an hour. The 610 Loop is legendary for this, though on last experience the Sam Houston Tollway that was built to take congestion off the Loop ain't much better these days. 2b. Even when traffic is flowing, it's Mad Max out there on the Interstates; use of turn signals is considered a sign of weakness and it's often better to signal the opposite to the lane you want to change to to fake out the dude who is gonna cut you off. 3. Houston has a light rail system. And nobody knows where it goes. Heck, half the time Houstonians forget it exists until they're crashing into the trains. 4. Houston is not just Houston. There's dozens of smaller cities that have been absorbed into the Greater Houston Metroplex. A fun local joke involves what happens when a Houston cop, a South Houston cop, a Pasadena cop, and a Webster cop all end up at a 4-way stop and deciding who goes first. 5. If you find yourself anywhere near the Fifth Ward, keep your windows rolled up and keep moving, otherwise you will be murdered. Houston is a dangerous town, and that is its most dangerous neighborhood. 6. If you wanna move there... Well, don't. But if you gotta, be aware that the Houston housing market is kinda weird in that it kind of ignores the trends throughout the rest of the nation. Like in the real estate bubble of 2008, prices never went up before the bubble burst, but after the burst they never really went down either. That said, it's not completely immune, just less so than other parts of Texas. 7. Galveston. About an hour away depending on traffic on I-45, it's our very own little slice of Key West on the Gulf. Beaches, amusement parks, cruise ships, the historic Strand, tons of museums, tons of bars, and most recently the likely new home of the battleship USS Texas. Just keep an eye on the Gulf and hope that century-old seawall will still prevent a repeat of the 1900 Storm that wiped the whole city off the map.
An amendment to your info about Galveston: don't walk on the beach with bare feet. Really don't walk on the beach at all unless you want to see if the combination of hepatitis and industrial waste will give you super powers. Spoiler alert the super power it gives you is the ability to die slowly...and painfully.
This is true, except if you take a wrong turn and go down a street too far in Galveston, you might actually find something worse than the fifth ward. It’s anarchy out here
"3 miles from the sun". I about spit out my coffee. That is both the funniest AND most accurate description of Houston I've ever heard. Also, Pappas restaurants are Sysco dealerships.
For your respect shown to Mattress Mack, your love of Blue Bell, and the genius idea of a repeating Whataburger/Shipley’s cityscape, we recognize you as an honorary Houstonian.
@@Cynsham Houston is so big it's the point where most of those climate zones meet and just by crossing a Bayou you suddenly leave the Piney Woods region and enter the Coastal Plains region... or the Central Plains Region... or the Prarie
As a Texan, my takeaway is that we need to raise the speed limits. If you don't feel like you're driving on the Texas Motor Speedway every time you hit the road, we did something wrong.
@@Sun-gs6hq tell that to all the suped up trucks that haven't seen any real work in years going 45 in a 30 in the right lane, tailgating, and not using the left lane to the last nanosecond.
Born & raised Houstonian here, and I can vouch for all the info in this video. Also, I haven't laughed so hard at being made fun of in a long time! This, folks. THIS is the kind of teasing humor that the world should embrace...not a hint of meanness or untruth here. LOVE it, Matt!
Yeah, when getting back from a trip via plane you get that "whoosh" of hot and humid air as you exit the plane. Yep, we're home. Then you get in the airport at IAH and the food smells so good. (likely the same at Hobby) The only place I have been to that is worse is Key West, Florida. I was glad to get back to Houston to cool off. Showering was pointless in Key West.
I am a native Houstonian and I can verify all he says. Though I have to confess, I didn't know small Buc-ee's exist! Also, the No. 1 thing I love about Houston is that every ethnicity from all over the world has a community of people who live here. It is incredibly diverse! You can travel the world and never leave the city. Then again, the city is only slightly smaller than the whole world so, you're not really saving any time....
The guy who drives the MMP train is Bobby Dynamite! He is indeed a hero to all. Years ago, you would have included in the Houston Trinity Marvin Zindler, the "SLIME IN THE ICE MACHINE" guy, of Best Little Whorehouse in Texas fame. Sadly, he is no longer with us, and Dave Ward is retired, so we don't get to hear Dave say..."Thank you, Marvin", which was like knowing the Houston secret handshake.
Hubby was a corporate pilot flying a four-engine Jetstar out of Houston. He once took off from Intercontinental Airport to fly to Midland and pick up a passenger to bring him home. I left at the same time to pick up a rug on the other side of town. Hubby was back before I was.
I grew up in Houston and can testify that you got the fundamentals basically nailed. The only thing I’d mention is how international the city is. It’s been an entry point for a long time, which is demonstrated by its huge cultural diversity.
Houston is not really a tourist destination, so a lot of people don't know about the amazing food scene. The lack of tourists made it a great city to grow up in. Most people visiting are there for business. There really isn't much to do that distinguishes it from any other major city, and it takes forever to get anywhere. Main reason I moved to Austin. He's totally wrong about the traffic... 610 by the Galleria is literally an automobile parade. You're not going anywhere any time soon, and good luck trying to move lane-to-lane, cuz Texans don't know how to merge.
I'd like to revisit the traffic observations. I've lived in all of the big four cities in Texas (Dallas, Austin, Houston, San Antonio). Dallas drivers go WAY too fast; you can't move in Austin because there's not enough infrastructure to support all the Californians and hispters; and in San Antonio, everyone's either drunk or driving too slowly in the left lane. It's only in Houston where I'm convinced the drivers are actively trying to unalive you.
I've lived in San Antonio (now home,) Dallas, and Austin, and have spent a lot of time visiting and driving through Houston. You have it right. I've also lived in a dozen other cities around the country, and visited many more. In southern California, I've driven on the 405 at 4:05 PM, and the traffic was not nearly as bad or as slow as that in Austin at any time of the day or night. In Dallas, drivers slow down to 55 mph if they have to change a tire. San Antonio has lots of highways, because we have a lot of military bases, but so many Californians are moving here that it is hard to keep the roads big enough. I've had my windshield broken three times in Houston, by trucks throwing up rocks. But still, I wouldn't live anywhere but Texas.
I am terrified going through Dallas. Dallas drivers think that if you don’t have a car right next to you on both sides, you’re going to be lonely, so they pull up to keep you company. If you have a whole car length between you and the car ahead of you, you saved them a space. It feels like there’s always a car within 3 feet of you. In Houston, they’ll give you a car length. One.
I lived in Houston for 18 years. You nailed it. You did miss talking about the greatest donut ever made for mankind, Shipley's. We probably miss HEB more than anything now that we moved.
The Pappas Bros have been flying under the radar for awhile now, I'm surprised you noticed! They are everywhere because everything they do is GOOD. If it's Pappas it doesn't matter what kind of food it is or where it's located, it's gonna be good!
The 1st Bucees I ever visited was in Giddings. Just a normal sized store with Beaver Nuggets, warm cashews, beef jerky and immaculate bathrooms.What else do you really need?
Yes. The Buc-ees in Giddings was smaller and had rocking chairs (for sale?) on its porch. It got remodeled probably after all the bigger Buc-ees were being built, but it is still pretty small.
I think the first one is in Lake Jackson? It’s pretty small, so is the one in Alvin and also the one in Eagle Lake. There’s still a smaller one off 96 too, and last time I drove through Angleton, they had a smaller one off 35 & 288.
The problem with Houston traffic, 290 especially, isn’t that it’s slow. It’s that it’s filled with people who think the only way to get into Heaven is to die in a glorious car crash. Especially like the Ford F-150s, Chevy Silverados, Dodge Rams, etc. They hit the on ramp and are *immediately* possessed by the long dead spirits of WW2 kamikaze pilots.
Thank you for you kind review of our state and the City of Houston. Yes, "Matress Mac" has been around since my early childhood and is an honest and awesome businessman!
Mattress Mac saved the day when Joel Ostend did not. Jesusian here and don't wanna be anywhere near JO on the day of judgement as I don't like massive infernos!
I've been around the Houston area my entire life and you are correct on everything but the traffic. You came on a good day I guess. And also, Shipleys originated here and they have the absolute best glazed donuts ever created.
As a Houstonian, I can conform most of this is accurate, except for the traffic. I have no idea how you got so lucky with that, nobody even moves for ambulances here.
Depends which direction at what time, but it's still way better than Atlanta, LA, NYC, though I Dallas they drive much faster. When it's not rush hour Houston drivers go so so slow, way below the speed limit.
This Dallasite has always heard that Houston has such bad traffic because it lacks crosstown streets. If you want to get across town, you've got to get up on the highway. Dallas, on the other hand, has lots of crosstown streets because Dallas roads were designed by all the big retailers (Titche, Sanger Harris, etc.) and the roads are all designed to get you to a shopping center by the most efficient route. Dallas traffic sucks probably because of all those people trying to get to a store.
I was born and raised on the Northside of Houston (right outside of the 610 loop) and everything is pretty accurate, except for traffic, I can remember sitting on the Katy Freeway for an hour while waiting to exit! I now live in OK and it drives me crazy that people take so long to go when the light turns green and that they drive the speed limit instead of the 10 miles over they are supposed to! I tell my friends, when you go to Houston, get out of the way or get run over, speed up when there is a yellow light and go when the light turns green!
Yeah, the thing about the traffic was confusing. Its true traffic is a mix btwn rollerderby and Nascar but since I live in the inner loop I know traffic that crawls at less than 5 mph for miles is the rule not an anomoly. So all he needs to do next time is take 45 up to Woodlands or back from it all during rush hour and you will see a sea of cars for miles.
Yeah and when you make it through the 3 miles of 5 mph traffic.... it opens up and there's no one there. No cop, no wreck, no broken down car, just no REASON for everyone driving slow.
Yep, that’s accurate for OK. I’m from NC taught to drive by my NC/East Coast parents and for us yellow means hit the gas and burn rubber when the light turns green and God forbid, driving the speed limit is illegal 😂 Don’t know what it is but OK drivers are the absolute worst and most frustrating with how slow they go, especially when they get on the highway. Like why, Lord, why??!!! 😂😂😂
Moved to Houston 3 years ago and this is all 100% on point! HEB is a force to be reckoned with here! And Buc-ee's, boy oh boy, you have to respect the Beaver! FYI, those tortilla chips are in my pantry and yes, we all adore anything Texagon.
I remember I went to the Blue Bell Creamery once on vacation. The power ended up going out when a truck carrying a house hit the power line, so we couldn’t see the ice cream being made or anything. But, those $1 scoops were free because they had to get rid of it all before it melted
That is some Jeff Foxworthy stuff right there 🤣🤣🤣 If you ever lost power because of somebody towing a HOUSE, then... yea... there ain't no maybe LOL. But hey, life hack on how to get FREE ice cream. >>;=)
That sounds like the best vaca ever. You can always see icecream being made somewhere else but how often does the opportunity to stuff yourself with secret recipe, free, ice cream come along?
As a kid from the 'burbs of H-town. I love this, Matt. Always love your content. Houstonians typically call "service roads" "feeder roads" like they feed into the interstate.
Hey fellow '77er. It's a rarer thing when the feeders will be able to get you somewhere faster than the fwy, unless there's a wreck or it's not the 5-6 hrs/day of rush hour.
As a Houstonian I absolutely agree that not every HEB is the same HEB Clear Lake and HEB El Dorado look similar and yet HEB El Dorado has more stuff. Delightful video!
As a Houstonian…I loved this. You were spot on with all of it. My two favorites were the “feeders” (aka access, roads), and the fact you got Jim Adler in there 🤣😂 “The Texas Hammer”
If you get a chance (and it's here on CZcams, so you should do it), search "Jim Adler spanish." He does his own commercials on the Spanish-language stations, and he speaks Spanish with a thick Texas accent. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Native Nutmegger here! I moved to VA a few years ago and found you and those other people when I was learning more about the south and I’ve been watching you ever since.
Driving through Houston at 5 pm on a Friday pulling a trailer MIGHT change your opinion of how great traffic is in Houston. We'll follow you anywhere Matt.
With Houston it's not so much whether the traffic is good or bad, it's where you're driving. South Loop of Beltway 8? An Indy 500 practice track (at least until you get near 288). West Loop of 610 north of 59? Parking lot, 23 hours a day, and that one remaining hour from about 3:00-4:00 am is still pretty busy.
Matt's probably comparing to Atlanta, and may not be considering the distance traveled as a factor. Houston's traffic flow isn't as bad as some cities, but it's very spread out even compared to other US cities, so it typically ranks rather high on Longest Commute lists (but usually not in the top 3). For example, Houston and Atlanta tend to have similar ranks on total traffic delays aggregated over all drivers annually, but Houston's area is about 5 times that of Atlanta (135 square miles for Atlanta, 670 square miles for Houston). So a Houstonite may only experience a total delay similar to that of an Atlantan, but they experience it spread out over 2-3 times the distance.
I’m from Alabama. Been living in Houston since 1980. At my age (68), access to any kind of healthcare you need is what keeps me here and my kids don’t have to leave the state to find work like I had to back in the late 70s.
As a Mitchell who lives just outside of Houston, welcome! A few quick notes: --It's an ongoing joke that Houston is over an hour away from Houston. This is all true. Driving from my suburb on the southern side of town to my folk's house on the NW side takes more than 30 minutes on a Saturday morning with NO traffic. --The "service roads" in Houston are called "feeders." Also, every major highway in town has at least 2 names; it's how we distinguish who's local. --Dollar Generals are ALL OVER the suburbs. You just stayed in the fancy parts of town. --The various Buc-ee's sizes: There's regular (enormous) locations, the smaller versions that are still built originally as Buc-ee's (I call them "baby Buc-ee's") and then the locations where they took over other gas stations and retro-fitted the Buc-ee's brand ("fetal Buc-ee's"). --Come back sometime!
Houston born and raised! Love my hometown and loved your spot on analysis of it! Except for the HEB part. There are some real crap HEBs out there, built during the time when HEB was still trying to figure itself out and work its way into the Houston grocery store market. Also the guy who drives the train at Minute Maid is Bobby Dynamite. He has two World Series rings lol
Early concept stores of 90s (limited stores - pantry) were a way to stick with old noncompete agreement to get into market. Once Safeway bought out competition the floodgates opened for HEB to move in with real stores. Just thankful they finally made it to DFW
@@CG-gf7ce You and me both. Before the Plano store opened I only had Kroger and Walmart for options. Well, Tom Thumb too, but they're way too overpriced.
My favorite Texas shaped thing are waffles - so many hotel breakfasts have Texas shaped waffles. Got on a flight once and the flight attendant was showing everyone her Texas shaped waffle - not a picture - but an actual waffle.
I have lived most of my life in the Houston area and you were spot on! I was busting a gut watching this video. You made my day! Mattress Mack trumps all of the trinity though. He is an institution unto himself.
Number 11: Houston is the u-turn capitol of the world! In my first month here, I made more u-turns than I have made in my 56 years of driving! Also street signs suck in Houston. The big streets may be visibly marked, but smaller streets not so much. A lot has to do with the signs being swallowed up by overgrown trees and brush, and the city not keeping up. But I have to admit the beautiful houses and tree lined streets are wonderful.
@@eb4600 I ended up unsubscribing from IAST. They're just not funny anymore. I wouldn't say it's definitely because Matt left; they're just... not funny.
I am a native Texan and moved from DFW to Houston five years ago. I love Buc-ee’s. The Chopped Beef’s sandwiches so good. FYI: There is a small Buc-ee’s in Sugarland.
I live in the Texas Hill Country, in one of the 5 fastest growing counties in the COUNTRY, & we are being invaded by Houstonians fleeing the congestion of the big city (making the big cities of Austin & San Antonio even more congested)….. but I grew up in Houston, so I can hardly begrudge them…. My husband says that everybody should go to Houston at least once a year, preferably at Christmastime…. Houston’s Christmas decorations can easily be seen from outer space.
HA! Yes, I agree, although to be fair, I moved to Bandera from Houston and it's hard to tell others to stop the influx. Don't get me wrong, I wish they'd come here and spend their tourism money and go home. But since I did the same thing you did, well, it's hard to be too judgy, lol.
Fine job you did there; for a foreigner. The good news is that everyone in Houston seems to be a foreigner. The service roads are officially called frontage roads, but everyone in Houston, and only in Houston, calls them "feeders" because they feed the freeways. We do indeed drive farther to get to a "great" HEB. We're getting a new one out here in Katy and it looks like it's going to be huge. I went to a mini Buc-ee's once. I was shocked at how much food and such they had. I was expecting a normal convenience store, but no!. It's basically a scaled down version of a big Buc-ee's. We do have dollar stores, but they're tucked away in neighborhoods.
As a native Texan, frontage roads is correct, but 'access roads' feels more universal. Service roads is right out, though. I do admit I am from the parts of Texas without HEB and Buccee's (bazaar, I know) and have only recently gotten to experience them, so great HEBs and big buccee's are all I know. I guess I'm lucky ;)
@@candybearGaming I remember the first "Frontage Rd." sign I ever saw. (I lived out in Deer Park/Pasadena back then; decades ago.) It seemed to be an odd name to name a road. After a minute or so I had an "aha" moment and understood they were talking about the feeder.
Now THIS is an entertaining video! We take all these things for granted in Houston, and it was funny hearing Matt Mitchell opine on them from the outside, reminding us that it's not like this everywhere. For those of you watching this video who have never been to Houston, everything in this video is pretty much true. Well done!
Lived in Houston my entire life, glad you put some respect on Mack’s name. Lol You’re 100% spot on for each subject bro. Glad you enjoyed your visit but come back in January or February it’s tolerable then.
Mattress Mack is #1! Then the Astros. You mentioned the train driver, but no real mention of the Astros! 15 years ago, that would’ve been OK, but not after two World Series wins! Go ‘Stros! And the best thing about Houston is it’s only about an hour to an hour and a half from Galveston.
As a native Texan and Houston resident for the last 50 years... you are spot on... LOL!! Oh, and the reason there aren't that many Dollar Generals around is that they have a competitor here... Dollar Tree... 🤣🤣
Houston transplant from Dallas here, everything you said about Houston is true! The service roads or “feeder” roads as they call them here are terrifying. If your car has “sport” driving mode, I highly recommend you use it to pull out of Chilis with. 😂😂😂
As a Houstonian I agree with everything 😂 you basically nailed it 😂 most of the Dollar Generals are in the suburbs. Believe me when I tell you, they are everywhere. We have an HEB that is fairly close to us but I will drive 30 minutes in the opposite direction to get to the "good" HEB 😂
Most of the little Buc-ees are south of Houston where Buc-ees got its start in the Freeport/Lake Jackson area. For many years Buc-ees were just normal sized convenience stores noted for cheap gas, clean restrooms and cheerful checkers almost exclusively located in Brazoria county (Houston is Harris county).
I grew up in Houston and now live in the home of Texas A&M. You are absolutely correct about the heat. It is miserable in the summer. And right now it's still summer. I will never move back to Houston for one reason- traffic. I have no idea how you got off so lucky while you were there, but I'm thankful you had a very uncharacteristic experience. It used to take me an hour to an hour and a half to get to work in Houston, when it should have taken 20 minutes for the distance. Learning to drive in Houston turns you into a very aware defensive driver, though!
When we lived in the Houston area, we always parked where there was a tree...not the closest parking place to the store. We used potholders to open car doirs and pixk up seat belt buckles thar could double as branding irons. Leaving a shop when you go to open the door, you hold your breath and shut your eyes like you would for a hot oven.
This is also why people don't get leather interiors here. If you smell bacon after you get into your car, it's probably you cooking on the leather seats.
Happy you enjoyed your time in Brenham at the Blue Bell factory! If you ever go again, you need to go in March when the bluebonnets are blooming; it's a beautiful time of year!
As an expat Houstonian, I must share the amount of pride and commradery Houstonians share when we bump into each other outside of Houston. The further away from Houston you are when it happens, the more like family we treat each other. My Dad still nrags about how good race relations are in Houston. All throughout the civil rights era, every major city in the US had some form of race riots.. except Houston. Back in 1992, when Chicago won the NBA playoffs, they had riots for days. When Houston won in 1993, we had a parade! If I had to live in a big city again, I would pick Houston.
That is very true. I lived in Houston for 41 years, but I'm now retired in the Lake Chapala area of Mexico. We definitely have that pride and like-family-ness that you talked about with our fellow Houstonians here.
Tip for new drivers in Houston: Always drive in the middle lane when going through Houston. You never know which side your exit might be on. Also outer lanes tend to “peel off” and exit when you least expect it. It’s much easier to go across 3 lanes instead of 5. Plus you better be driving like a bat outa hell to keep from being run over, even at 2 in the morning.
My mom would always tell me that if the place I wanted to go to was on the Southside of Houston we couldn't go because it will be 2 hours there and 2 hours back .
Glad you visited and got a taste of the level of heat we live with. It’s scorching. I’m between Houston and Galveston and I must say, it’s the best. Close enough to both, but far away enough to avoid the crowds. 😊
As a Yankee born and raised in Connecticut, I was floored by that. So I looked it up Houston: 665 sq miles Connecticut: 5,028 sq miles Houston metro area: 10,062!
Honorable mention would be Houston's immense freeway loop system, with the recent inclusion of Grand Parkway aka Grand Raceway. We went from Loop 610 and Hwy 6 / FM1960 to also having the Beltway and now GP / 99, the amount of racetracks we have here is inconceivable! I also tell newcomers to not dip slower than 10 mph OVER the posted speed limit or you will get shot.
I tell my boys that in the Houston area, everyone drives like the Duke Brothers. When there is traffic, trucks (which most people have) and even cars, will make new paths off the interstate and try to speed off into the feeder road. Or vice versa. Houston is a super friendly and kind melting pot (literally melting) until you get everyone on the road. The fanciest HEB is Central Market. Houston only has one. If you have a Joe V's in your neighborhood (HEB's dented can store),.make sure you have good locks. ❤ I love H-town!
Fun facts: 1) If you ever have a reason to be in downtown Houston, you can get around without exposing yourself to the boiling rain and flaming air by using the most extensive urban pedestrian tunnel network in the USA. 2) All (only a slight exaggeration) Houston area restaurants not owned by Pappas Bros are owned by Landry's, which also owns the Kemah Boardwalk, Galveston Pleasure Pier, several hotels, and Mitchell's (!!!) Steakhouse.
I read an article about your tunnel system a couple of years ago but have never been there. Are there still time restrictions when you can go see them?
@@carolemerle9995 They aren't "my" tunnels -- I live near Austin. According to the Houston government website, they're open from 6:00 AM to 6:00 PM on weekdays. There are several parking garages connected to the system. I usually park in the one on Louisiana Street when I travel to downtown Houston for business. Alternatively, I park at the Fannin South Metrorail station and take the train downtown. I've also stayed at the Hyatt and taken the elevator to the tunnel level. It's similar to the network in Crystal City, Virginia, with retail and restaurants but much more spread out (about 6 miles of tunnels) and also connected to a downtown mall.
You made me laugh out loud. And I'm in school, as I'm teaching school. So thanks for that. My kids are like, 'What's Mr. Taylor chuckling about?' ME: Oh, just Matt. Keep up the good work, my friend. And y'all come back, you hear!
Those lanes of pavement next to the freeway are called the "feeder^. A nice idea of how big Houston is that one can travel the " Inner loop " 610 from point A back around the loop to the start point for an hour and half not be done, especially at peak hours. I-45 has been under construction since the 1960, and is not finished yet. By the time one stretch gets completed, it is time for other parts to be upgraded. By driving the "outer loop,"one can basically drive roughly 300 plus miles around the Houston metro area.
I have a love/hate relationship with the Houston metro area that I grew up in. Family, friends, Texans, Astros, Rockets, Buc-ees, Shipley's, BBQ, Tex-Mex, Seafood and Cajun...love. Traffic, heat, concrete and oh yeah more construction to destroy the few trees we have...hate. Don't forget about our Hurricanes either Matt. 😉
The constant destruction of the land just so more places can be built drives me nuts. You can literally drive right by an empty strip center and there is a new one being built.
@@daintycaked I am serious in that I want to hear why you think it is good. I will explain more why I think it is not. Home owners rights: because there is no zoning, the laws favor business owners. Home owners are forced to solely rely on HOAs to "keep the peace ". HOAs are unable to do so because they lack the authority and ability to police the rules. They can write letters and even issue fines but only if you, the home owner, can prove an infraction. On infractions, most are designed to protect home values and not keep the peace. Protecting home values is well and good but does nothing for your privacy and right to live peaceably. Even if you get into a neighborhood with an active HOA with restrictions that maximize peace, ten feet outside your neighborhood it's the wild, wild west. Of course the flipside of an active HOA is their tendency towards power trips. They can make your life hell simply out of spite and you have no recourse because they answer to no one. A well zoned and policed city does not have these problems.
Im one of the 3 from Connecticut, and thats NUTS. Also driving 5 hours to get to Florida. from Huntsville. In 5 hours you can drive to NOVA SCOTIA from CT.
Yes! The third person from Conn in the comments. And after 5 hours you'll only be in Maine. I was curious so googled it and it's 12 hours. You were probably thinking of Montreal.
Beginners guide to Houston traffic: 1. The speed limit is the minimum speed required to drive 2. The left lane is reserved for those going at least 10 mph over the speed limit. 3. Changing lanes is always changing multiple lanes at the same time. You have to do advanced calculations to time moving across 4 lanes from the left lane to the exit ramp in one movement.
Wish I'd known you were visiting. I'm a South Georgian living here via a couple stops. The mystery of the mini-Buc'ees is those were the original size until they decided you could make a gas station a destination more fun than a theme park by following one simple rule: Give people clean restrooms and they will come. When you go down the interstates you'll see signs for Buc'ees 80 miles away. I think they have zoned in on the distance a family will travel from one Buc'ees before needing to stop and build another store at that point. And here the service roads are called frontage roads and speed limit is slightly lower than the main lanes. As for speed limits on major roads you can pretty much multiply posted by 1.5 to get the real speed. On 290 out of Houston you'll be going 75 in a posted 65 and find yourself the "slow old guy."
Well said. As a lifelong Houstonian I can confirm being the slow grandpa (I’m 40ish) while still being more than 10 over the posted limit. And the cars passing aren’t moving past at a gentle rate - sometimes it’s so fast their air-wake gives your car a little kiss. Used to be speed traps everywhere (like 10+ years ago) but now I only see them on the Beltway.
There's a sign in Orange just as you cross Sabine Pass. It's for the Katy location (something like over 100 miles away). And what does it say on the billboard? "You can hold it."
There's a sign just east of Pensacola, FL i believe i know its in the far west part of Florida for the BUCCEES in Baytown just east of Houston and it's "you can hold it" then like 700 miles it's amazing
@@fearlessleader3489 Oh, that's funny. I can see someone around Biloxy Mississippi who is in visual pain and squirming in the passenger seat. Driver: "You know, I can pull up to this gas station up the road so you can go pee." Passenger: "Absolutely not. I'm going to go at Bucees in Baytown. I've been holding it since Tallahassee. I can hold it until Baytown."
As someone who grew up in the Brazoria County area (Where Buc-ees Originated), the first stores were smaller, like the Alvin, Pearland, Lake Jackson, League City Stores. I remember they first became popular because they were selling way cheaper gas than everyone, so naturally everybody was flocking to them. Word then got out about the bathrooms, and then they took off super fast to what they are now. I'm not really sure they do small stores anymore, but you'll find them mainly in the Brazoria/Galveston county area if I had to guess.
Note about point 2, it's only Houston that is like that. DFW, Austin etc. are still hot as hell, but Huston has freaking insane humidity that makes the rest of the states humidity feel mild.
As a former Houstonian......I concur...I lived in Pearland when was 7000 people. Now it has 120,000. But I still visit all the time. I love my hometown.
My sister lives in Houston and everything you said is true. She took us to the Buc-Cee’s with the longest drive-thru car wash in Texas, a 1/4 mile long. Only in Texas…
Subscribe or Houston gets a Dollar General
Yes yes yes another video
You do know that this counts as extortion right?
And we all know what happens once they get one........
when you go outside of Houston the dollar generals are on every corner. Houston land is to expensive for them
don't you put that evil on us
Houston is an hour and a half away from Houston.
I have never heard this in my life and I've been here for over 40 years. This is perfect!
I feel that way about Nashville. 🫠🤪😂🤣🤣🤣
😂😆
You are so right! 20 minutes away is down the street. 😂
Facts
Some more fun notes about Houston from a native Texan:
1. Houston has no zoning laws. So you can and will pass a horse ranch, a strip mall, an office block, a residential development, and a light industrial site, all in the same mile stretch of avenue.
2. Related to the traffic thing, 2a. Matt must have caught Houston traffic on a good day because there are parts that can make Atlanta blush, we're talking barely moving for over an hour. The 610 Loop is legendary for this, though on last experience the Sam Houston Tollway that was built to take congestion off the Loop ain't much better these days. 2b. Even when traffic is flowing, it's Mad Max out there on the Interstates; use of turn signals is considered a sign of weakness and it's often better to signal the opposite to the lane you want to change to to fake out the dude who is gonna cut you off.
3. Houston has a light rail system. And nobody knows where it goes. Heck, half the time Houstonians forget it exists until they're crashing into the trains.
4. Houston is not just Houston. There's dozens of smaller cities that have been absorbed into the Greater Houston Metroplex. A fun local joke involves what happens when a Houston cop, a South Houston cop, a Pasadena cop, and a Webster cop all end up at a 4-way stop and deciding who goes first.
5. If you find yourself anywhere near the Fifth Ward, keep your windows rolled up and keep moving, otherwise you will be murdered. Houston is a dangerous town, and that is its most dangerous neighborhood.
6. If you wanna move there... Well, don't. But if you gotta, be aware that the Houston housing market is kinda weird in that it kind of ignores the trends throughout the rest of the nation. Like in the real estate bubble of 2008, prices never went up before the bubble burst, but after the burst they never really went down either. That said, it's not completely immune, just less so than other parts of Texas.
7. Galveston. About an hour away depending on traffic on I-45, it's our very own little slice of Key West on the Gulf. Beaches, amusement parks, cruise ships, the historic Strand, tons of museums, tons of bars, and most recently the likely new home of the battleship USS Texas. Just keep an eye on the Gulf and hope that century-old seawall will still prevent a repeat of the 1900 Storm that wiped the whole city off the map.
An amendment to your info about Galveston: don't walk on the beach with bare feet. Really don't walk on the beach at all unless you want to see if the combination of hepatitis and industrial waste will give you super powers. Spoiler alert the super power it gives you is the ability to die slowly...and painfully.
" no zoning laws " ........ both a blessing and a curse (biblically)
This is true, except if you take a wrong turn and go down a street too far in Galveston, you might actually find something worse than the fifth ward. It’s anarchy out here
I like that Houston is not zoned. Zoning was invented for a specific purpose that I don't agree with.
@@t.texastimmy1022 okay i can agree with this one! 😂
"3 miles from the sun". I about spit out my coffee. That is both the funniest AND most accurate description of Houston I've ever heard.
Also, Pappas restaurants are Sysco dealerships.
Heat advisory on may 24th 🤣🤣🤣
For your respect shown to Mattress Mack, your love of Blue Bell, and the genius idea of a repeating Whataburger/Shipley’s cityscape, we recognize you as an honorary Houstonian.
Wow Matt, you've been inducted!
Houstonians: * crowns Matt with a hat in the shape of Texas *
@@user-qx1om2wj1h That has a smaller, but still large, hat in the shape of Texas on top
As a native Houstonian I second this notion.
@@bryank5932 ditto
When I lived in Houston I was in a long distance relationship with a gal who also happened to live in Houston 😳True story.
Nothing like living on the east side and dating a girl in Katy, eh?
I live in Crosby and once dated a girl that lived near Hwy 6 and Westheimer. sometimes took 90 minutes to get to her apartment
Yep I think Houston invented the phrase geographically desirable .
I used to visit my girlfriend in Humble from Missouri City.
Lol so was I
In my experience Texas is really not a southern state, it is actually a separate and sovereign nation that has an alliance with the south.
Sort of,
East Texas, specifically SE Texas is old south, we have very strong connections in both culture and family with Louisiana and Arkansas.
Texas is so big we basically have entirely separate climate zones within our own state 😂
Wooo!!! You are the WINNER! That is ABSOLUTELY the truth. And we want everyone to know it.
@@Cynsham Houston is so big it's the point where most of those climate zones meet and just by crossing a Bayou you suddenly leave the Piney Woods region and enter the Coastal Plains region... or the Central Plains Region... or the Prarie
@@Cynshamand time zones😂
As a Texan, my takeaway is that we need to raise the speed limits. If you don't feel like you're driving on the Texas Motor Speedway every time you hit the road, we did something wrong.
Agreed. Too many slow drivers and TRUCK drivers need their designated lane because they slow everyone down on top of slow drivers.
True
Left lane is the passing lane.
I45......
Drops mic
Walks away
@@Sun-gs6hq tell that to all the suped up trucks that haven't seen any real work in years going 45 in a 30 in the right lane, tailgating, and not using the left lane to the last nanosecond.
Born & raised Houstonian here, and I can vouch for all the info in this video. Also, I haven't laughed so hard at being made fun of in a long time! This, folks. THIS is the kind of teasing humor that the world should embrace...not a hint of meanness or untruth here.
LOVE it, Matt!
Why won’t anyone admit to trying to live in Houston when we just work there
We have Klein Spring Tomball Kingwood Woodlands and Kind to ya KATY
Born and raised there too and agree except for the traffic. Just when was Matt driving? There are two speeds " bat out of hell" or dead still.
I am a lifelong (mostly) Texan, and i have NEVER heard the word "Texagon." But now i will use it every day. Thanks!
I don't care what CGI Grey says. Texagons are the best-a-gons.
Yeah, that one's new to me and we've been here three generations (at least; that's as far back as my known ancestry goes).
Same
@@kevingray8616 heh, *CGP Grey
Born and raised in TX and first I heard of this word and now it will be apart of my regular vocabulary
As a Houstonian, I concur with most of what you learned about us, especially being 3 miles from the sun and on fire.
Yeah, when getting back from a trip via plane you get that "whoosh" of hot and humid air as you exit the plane. Yep, we're home. Then you get in the airport at IAH and the food smells so good. (likely the same at Hobby) The only place I have been to that is worse is Key West, Florida. I was glad to get back to Houston to cool off. Showering was pointless in Key West.
On fire while being under water at the same time
Imagine New Orleans with no breeze!
@@johnnyreb3542 no wind to blow away the scent of sun dried drunk'n vomit from bourbon street.... That sounds awful.
same!
I am a native Houstonian and I can verify all he says. Though I have to confess, I didn't know small Buc-ee's exist! Also, the No. 1 thing I love about Houston is that every ethnicity from all over the world has a community of people who live here. It is incredibly diverse! You can travel the world and never leave the city. Then again, the city is only slightly smaller than the whole world so, you're not really saving any time....
There are two small buccees in Pearland.
The next highway loop around Houston, now that the Grand Parkway is done, will include all of Texas. The one after that will circle the earth.
There's one on the grand parkway near 59S close to the Rosenburg/Richmond area. I know that much.
There is a small buckees in League City and also Alvin
The one in the video is Alvin on 35 . There’s little Buccees all over south and south east of Houston.
The guy who drives the MMP train is Bobby Dynamite! He is indeed a hero to all. Years ago, you would have included in the Houston Trinity Marvin Zindler, the "SLIME IN THE ICE MACHINE" guy, of Best Little Whorehouse in Texas fame. Sadly, he is no longer with us, and Dave Ward is retired, so we don't get to hear Dave say..."Thank you, Marvin", which was like knowing the Houston secret handshake.
Yes!
As a kid, I genuinely cried the night I found out Marvin Zindler had died. A true icon of Houston media.
Grew up watching Marvin Zindler. He was a treasure!
Those blue glasses
Marvin Zindler, EYEWITNESS NEWS!!!
As a current resident of a suburb just north oh Houston, I concur. I45 is a mix between NASCAR, a high speed police chase, and roller derby.
💯 accurate
I remember when Conroe was a 30 minute drive from Houston. ...now it's just a suburb north of Houston.
Not too sure about the police chases but NASCAR drivers know what they are doing. The NASCAR wannabe's here are a very dangerous bunch.
Agreed!
I drive on I59 almost every day. I45 is like I'm on a different planet. I have to pry my fingers from the steering wheel after a drive on I45.
Growing up in Houston, I learned the word "oppressive" from the weatherman, in describing the humidity.
wow. I forgot all about that guy. People made fun of him all the time!
🤣🤣🤣
Hubby was a corporate pilot flying a four-engine Jetstar out of Houston. He once took off from Intercontinental Airport to fly to Midland and pick up a passenger to bring him home. I left at the same time to pick up a rug on the other side of town. Hubby was back before I was.
I grew up in Houston and can testify that you got the fundamentals basically nailed. The only thing I’d mention is how international the city is. It’s been an entry point for a long time, which is demonstrated by its huge cultural diversity.
Houston is not really a tourist destination, so a lot of people don't know about the amazing food scene. The lack of tourists made it a great city to grow up in. Most people visiting are there for business. There really isn't much to do that distinguishes it from any other major city, and it takes forever to get anywhere. Main reason I moved to Austin.
He's totally wrong about the traffic... 610 by the Galleria is literally an automobile parade. You're not going anywhere any time soon, and good luck trying to move lane-to-lane, cuz Texans don't know how to merge.
Yea Diversity! Diversity is our Strength! Yea!
I'd like to revisit the traffic observations. I've lived in all of the big four cities in Texas (Dallas, Austin, Houston, San Antonio). Dallas drivers go WAY too fast; you can't move in Austin because there's not enough infrastructure to support all the Californians and hispters; and in San Antonio, everyone's either drunk or driving too slowly in the left lane. It's only in Houston where I'm convinced the drivers are actively trying to unalive you.
I've lived in San Antonio (now home,) Dallas, and Austin, and have spent a lot of time visiting and driving through Houston. You have it right. I've also lived in a dozen other cities around the country, and visited many more. In southern California, I've driven on the 405 at 4:05 PM, and the traffic was not nearly as bad or as slow as that in Austin at any time of the day or night. In Dallas, drivers slow down to 55 mph if they have to change a tire. San Antonio has lots of highways, because we have a lot of military bases, but so many Californians are moving here that it is hard to keep the roads big enough. I've had my windshield broken three times in Houston, by trucks throwing up rocks. But still, I wouldn't live anywhere but Texas.
I am terrified going through Dallas. Dallas drivers think that if you don’t have a car right next to you on both sides, you’re going to be lonely, so they pull up to keep you company. If you have a whole car length between you and the car ahead of you, you saved them a space. It feels like there’s always a car within 3 feet of you. In Houston, they’ll give you a car length. One.
@@cmarknI found that the best way to drive around Dallas was to aim my car, shut my eyes, and stomp on the accelerator.
@@texas2step266 😬😬😬🤣
That’s completely untrue about San Antonio
Please start doing these more often. A southerners need to know what we are not missing in other states.
Yes, send Matt to other crappy parts of the South so we don't have to go!
@@darthdadt 10 things i learned about Pasadena
@@jmit3491..Yeah, Yankees are weird..
Every Monday! But I wouldn’t complain if it was every day!
Lol. Every part of the north is a crappy part. I wouldn't send a dog to visit anywhere north of Tennessee.@@jmit3491
I lived in Houston for 18 years. You nailed it. You did miss talking about the greatest donut ever made for mankind, Shipley's. We probably miss HEB more than anything now that we moved.
I love Shipley's, best donut around.
A freshly made hot glazed donut from Shipley’s is indescribably good. It’s something that has to be tasted to be believed
Ive eat donuts around the world and Shipleys reigns supreme. Also he missed Kolaches.
The kolaches are legendary.
Best thing about HEB: parking lot hot pork tamales by the dozen.
The Pappas Bros have been flying under the radar for awhile now, I'm surprised you noticed! They are everywhere because everything they do is GOOD. If it's Pappas it doesn't matter what kind of food it is or where it's located, it's gonna be good!
💯
Some of the best food to be had….. if you can afford it.
@@daniellee3275 Yeah, their prices are getting silly
The original buccees were small. The big stores came later. They walked so beaver nuggets could run.
The 1st Bucees I ever visited was in Giddings. Just a normal sized store with Beaver Nuggets, warm cashews, beef jerky and immaculate bathrooms.What else do you really need?
Yes. The Buc-ees in Giddings was smaller and had rocking chairs (for sale?) on its porch. It got remodeled probably after all the bigger Buc-ees were being built, but it is still pretty small.
I think the first one is in Lake Jackson? It’s pretty small, so is the one in Alvin and also the one in Eagle Lake. There’s still a smaller one off 96 too, and last time I drove through Angleton, they had a smaller one off 35 & 288.
Baby Buc-ees sound like a good idea.
There used to be a small one in Gonzales. But it's some other gas station now 😢
The problem with Houston traffic, 290 especially, isn’t that it’s slow. It’s that it’s filled with people who think the only way to get into Heaven is to die in a glorious car crash. Especially like the Ford F-150s, Chevy Silverados, Dodge Rams, etc. They hit the on ramp and are *immediately* possessed by the long dead spirits of WW2 kamikaze pilots.
Yeah!
😂🤣💀
Thank you for you kind review of our state and the City of Houston. Yes, "Matress Mac" has been around since my early childhood and is an honest and awesome businessman!
Mattress Mac saved the day when Joel Ostend did not. Jesusian here and don't wanna be anywhere near JO on the day of judgement as I don't like massive infernos!
I've been around the Houston area my entire life and you are correct on everything but the traffic. You came on a good day I guess. And also, Shipleys originated here and they have the absolute best glazed donuts ever created.
It depends on the area, lots of traffic, but it moves a lot better than other metro areas. We have one of the better highway systems.
#4 Don't forget the Texas-shaped cast-iron cornbread skillet!
and hotel waffle makers!
And waffles.
@@Birdbike719 I love those! Had one when we were travelling through Texas at Easter. 😀
As a Houstonian, I can conform most of this is accurate, except for the traffic. I have no idea how you got so lucky with that, nobody even moves for ambulances here.
Yeah. I think they stopped doing that since the beginning of the 1990’s. 🤦🏻♀️
No one gets over because the cars in the next lane will not make a gap. It's been that way since Michigan & Ohio moved here in the 80's.
He Didn't Drive Until 9am In The Morning And Between 2pm And 3:30pm In The Afternoon!!! Any Other Time And Traffic Is A Nightmare!!!
Depends which direction at what time, but it's still way better than Atlanta, LA, NYC, though I Dallas they drive much faster. When it's not rush hour Houston drivers go so so slow, way below the speed limit.
This Dallasite has always heard that Houston has such bad traffic because it lacks crosstown streets. If you want to get across town, you've got to get up on the highway. Dallas, on the other hand, has lots of crosstown streets because Dallas roads were designed by all the big retailers (Titche, Sanger Harris, etc.) and the roads are all designed to get you to a shopping center by the most efficient route. Dallas traffic sucks probably because of all those people trying to get to a store.
I was born and raised on the Northside of Houston (right outside of the 610 loop) and everything is pretty accurate, except for traffic, I can remember sitting on the Katy Freeway for an hour while waiting to exit! I now live in OK and it drives me crazy that people take so long to go when the light turns green and that they drive the speed limit instead of the 10 miles over they are supposed to! I tell my friends, when you go to Houston, get out of the way or get run over, speed up when there is a yellow light and go when the light turns green!
Yeah, the thing about the traffic was confusing. Its true traffic is a mix btwn rollerderby and Nascar but since I live in the inner loop I know traffic that crawls at less than 5 mph for miles is the rule not an anomoly. So all he needs to do next time is take 45 up to Woodlands or back from it all during rush hour and you will see a sea of cars for miles.
Yeah and when you make it through the 3 miles of 5 mph traffic.... it opens up and there's no one there. No cop, no wreck, no broken down car, just no REASON for everyone driving slow.
Lol it's weird hearing 610 as the north being someone who's lived near the woodlands for awhile
Here in texas you drive like you've entered a race and have 20 grand on it
Yep, that’s accurate for OK. I’m from NC taught to drive by my NC/East Coast parents and for us yellow means hit the gas and burn rubber when the light turns green and God forbid, driving the speed limit is illegal 😂
Don’t know what it is but OK drivers are the absolute worst and most frustrating with how slow they go, especially when they get on the highway. Like why, Lord, why??!!! 😂😂😂
Moved to Houston 3 years ago and this is all 100% on point! HEB is a force to be reckoned with here! And Buc-ee's, boy oh boy, you have to respect the Beaver! FYI, those tortilla chips are in my pantry and yes, we all adore anything Texagon.
I remember I went to the Blue Bell Creamery once on vacation. The power ended up going out when a truck carrying a house hit the power line, so we couldn’t see the ice cream being made or anything. But, those $1 scoops were free because they had to get rid of it all before it melted
That is some Jeff Foxworthy stuff right there 🤣🤣🤣 If you ever lost power because of somebody towing a HOUSE, then... yea... there ain't no maybe LOL. But hey, life hack on how to get FREE ice cream. >>;=)
That sounds like the best vaca ever. You can always see icecream being made somewhere else but how often does the opportunity to stuff yourself with secret recipe, free, ice cream come along?
Blue Bell Ice Cream's slogan is "We eat all we can, and. we sell the rest" Ha !!
I would have been back in the car shitting on myself because I would have had scoop after scoop lol
As a kid from the 'burbs of H-town. I love this, Matt. Always love your content. Houstonians typically call "service roads" "feeder roads" like they feed into the interstate.
Yes!! This! I was hoping someone would say that! I never knew that it was just a local thing until I was very much into my 20s!
They're called frontage roads, too, but nobody actually calls them that.
@@queenb67What you said was a little bit of a paradox there 🤣🤣
Hey fellow '77er. It's a rarer thing when the feeders will be able to get you somewhere faster than the fwy, unless there's a wreck or it's not the 5-6 hrs/day of rush hour.
Yes! I just commented this....that is an exclusively Houston thing, too....NOT a Texas thing.
As a Houstonian I absolutely agree that not every HEB is the same HEB Clear Lake and HEB El Dorado look similar and yet HEB El Dorado has more stuff.
Delightful video!
As a Houstonian…I loved this. You were spot on with all of it.
My two favorites were the “feeders” (aka access, roads), and the fact you got Jim Adler in there 🤣😂 “The Texas Hammer”
If you get a chance (and it's here on CZcams, so you should do it), search "Jim Adler spanish."
He does his own commercials on the Spanish-language stations, and he speaks Spanish with a thick Texas accent.
It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
God bless the Texas hammer! And mattress Mack 😂
50 miles from the Gulf and 3 miles from the Sun 😂😂😂 That awesome Matt.
There is no city on earth that is more culturally diverse and yet so homogenized, as Houston.
thats fair, montrose is a great example of this, thats a cool very diverse part of houston
Facts!
Corollary: what kinda food ya want? IT’s available within 15 miles.
@@susantownsend8397 hell you could narrow it down to 5miles really
@@1jidiononly if you’re already uptown.
As a Houstonian, this was so accurate and hysterical! I laughed out loud several times!😂 Bravo!
Native Nutmegger here! I moved to VA a few years ago and found you and those other people when I was learning more about the south and I’ve been watching you ever since.
As a native Texan and former Houstonian, there were no lies or exaggerations in this video.
Thank God I got away from H town.
Driving through Houston at 5 pm on a Friday pulling a trailer MIGHT change your opinion of how great traffic is in Houston. We'll follow you anywhere Matt.
Yeah, there is usually an exodus from Houston as people head out to camp and such for the weekend.
With Houston it's not so much whether the traffic is good or bad, it's where you're driving. South Loop of Beltway 8? An Indy 500 practice track (at least until you get near 288). West Loop of 610 north of 59? Parking lot, 23 hours a day, and that one remaining hour from about 3:00-4:00 am is still pretty busy.
Still better than Austin
Matt's probably comparing to Atlanta, and may not be considering the distance traveled as a factor. Houston's traffic flow isn't as bad as some cities, but it's very spread out even compared to other US cities, so it typically ranks rather high on Longest Commute lists (but usually not in the top 3).
For example, Houston and Atlanta tend to have similar ranks on total traffic delays aggregated over all drivers annually, but Houston's area is about 5 times that of Atlanta (135 square miles for Atlanta, 670 square miles for Houston). So a Houstonite may only experience a total delay similar to that of an Atlantan, but they experience it spread out over 2-3 times the distance.
Literally my dad did this and traffic waaaaa yikes
I’m from Alabama. Been living in Houston since 1980. At my age (68), access to any kind of healthcare you need is what keeps me here and my kids don’t have to leave the state to find work like I had to back in the late 70s.
As a Mitchell who lives just outside of Houston, welcome! A few quick notes:
--It's an ongoing joke that Houston is over an hour away from Houston. This is all true. Driving from my suburb on the southern side of town to my folk's house on the NW side takes more than 30 minutes on a Saturday morning with NO traffic.
--The "service roads" in Houston are called "feeders." Also, every major highway in town has at least 2 names; it's how we distinguish who's local.
--Dollar Generals are ALL OVER the suburbs. You just stayed in the fancy parts of town.
--The various Buc-ee's sizes: There's regular (enormous) locations, the smaller versions that are still built originally as Buc-ee's (I call them "baby Buc-ee's") and then the locations where they took over other gas stations and retro-fitted the Buc-ee's brand ("fetal Buc-ee's").
--Come back sometime!
I think the best part about Houston is that no one knows where Houston ends.
If you thought the traffic wasn't bad, you never drove 610W southbound during rush hour.
Everything else is spot on!
He must have been here on a weekend with no big games or events going on. I'm shocked that road construction didn't hinder him.
BW8 is horrible as well, at least on the NW section
It's all about the timing.
They don't call it the Katy Crawlway for nothing.
You hit the nail on the head w/all of these. As an Arkansas transplant, this place is wild and I love living here.
Thank you for the kind review. I am 47. Born and raised in Houston. I still cannot get used to the weather.
Houston born and raised! Love my hometown and loved your spot on analysis of it! Except for the HEB part. There are some real crap HEBs out there, built during the time when HEB was still trying to figure itself out and work its way into the Houston grocery store market. Also the guy who drives the train at Minute Maid is Bobby Dynamite. He has two World Series rings lol
Also, some of the worst H-E-B's look like your average Kroger.
Wait until you move out of Texas. I would kill for even a mediocre HEB in Albuquerque. No comparison.
Early concept stores of 90s (limited stores - pantry) were a way to stick with old noncompete agreement to get into market. Once Safeway bought out competition the floodgates opened for HEB to move in with real stores. Just thankful they finally made it to DFW
@@CG-gf7ce You and me both. Before the Plano store opened I only had Kroger and Walmart for options. Well, Tom Thumb too, but they're way too overpriced.
remember when heb had a budget grocery store called heb pantry food?
My favorite Texas shaped thing are waffles - so many hotel breakfasts have Texas shaped waffles. Got on a flight once and the flight attendant was showing everyone her Texas shaped waffle - not a picture - but an actual waffle.
If we stay at a hotel with just a normal waffle shape, we are extremely disappointed. We ended up buying one for our home. Lol
I love the pools shaped like Texas! I bought a friend a cheese board shaped like Texas. And they’re in Washington. They love it!
I have lived most of my life in the Houston area and you were spot on! I was busting a gut watching this video. You made my day! Mattress Mack trumps all of the trinity though. He is an institution unto himself.
Yea, cause Marvin Zindler passed away already 🤷♂️
Number 11: Houston is the u-turn capitol of the world! In my first month here, I made more u-turns than I have made in my 56 years of driving! Also street signs suck in Houston. The big streets may be visibly marked, but smaller streets not so much. A lot has to do with the signs being swallowed up by overgrown trees and brush, and the city not keeping up.
But I have to admit the beautiful houses and tree lined streets are wonderful.
The baby Buc-ees are to help you survive the distance to the next full sized Buc-ees.
"Baby Buc-ee's" I like that.
My daughters calls a little Buc-ee’s a “Buc-aroo”. It’s delightful.
I wasn’t born in Houston, but I got there as fast as I could! You’re spot on! Thanks for the laughs!
As a native Houstonian, I can confirm this is 100% accurate.
The 3 people that have been to Connecticut. You rock Matt!
I'm so glad you're independent now. Your content is so free for us to consume and we owe you a debt of entertainment gratitude.
I miss the "gang"!
Applause 👏🏻 it’s very true.
(And I love the ppl on It’sAST, too)
@@eb4600 I ended up unsubscribing from IAST. They're just not funny anymore. I wouldn't say it's definitely because Matt left; they're just... not funny.
Awwwwww!!! Thank you for your kind words!
I am a native Texan and moved from DFW to Houston five years ago. I love Buc-ee’s. The Chopped Beef’s sandwiches so good. FYI: There is a small Buc-ee’s in Sugarland.
I live in the Texas Hill Country, in one of the 5 fastest growing counties in the COUNTRY, & we are being invaded by Houstonians fleeing the congestion of the big city (making the big cities of Austin & San Antonio even more congested)….. but I grew up in Houston, so I can hardly begrudge them….
My husband says that everybody should go to Houston at least once a year, preferably at Christmastime…. Houston’s Christmas decorations can easily be seen from outer space.
Yes, born & raised in H town. Now I live in Central TX and for the love of God I wish people stop coming here.
To be fair, the vast majority of people moving to the Austin area are from out west. California, Portland, etc.
HA! Yes, I agree, although to be fair, I moved to Bandera from Houston and it's hard to tell others to stop the influx.
Don't get me wrong, I wish they'd come here and spend their tourism money and go home. But since I did the same thing you did, well, it's hard to be too judgy, lol.
Fine job you did there; for a foreigner. The good news is that everyone in Houston seems to be a foreigner. The service roads are officially called frontage roads, but everyone in Houston, and only in Houston, calls them "feeders" because they feed the freeways. We do indeed drive farther to get to a "great" HEB. We're getting a new one out here in Katy and it looks like it's going to be huge. I went to a mini Buc-ee's once. I was shocked at how much food and such they had. I was expecting a normal convenience store, but no!. It's basically a scaled down version of a big Buc-ee's. We do have dollar stores, but they're tucked away in neighborhoods.
As a native Texan, frontage roads is correct, but 'access roads' feels more universal. Service roads is right out, though. I do admit I am from the parts of Texas without HEB and Buccee's (bazaar, I know) and have only recently gotten to experience them, so great HEBs and big buccee's are all I know. I guess I'm lucky ;)
@@candybearGaming I remember the first "Frontage Rd." sign I ever saw. (I lived out in Deer Park/Pasadena back then; decades ago.) It seemed to be an odd name to name a road. After a minute or so I had an "aha" moment and understood they were talking about the feeder.
Lufkin native here, we also call them feeders. Probably because the only interstates most Lufkinites have seen are in Houston.
Where in Katy is the new HEB going to be? I’m in Katy, too. Didn’t know they were building a new one!
@@laurasonnier At Morton and Katy-Hockley Cut-off
Now THIS is an entertaining video! We take all these things for granted in Houston, and it was funny hearing Matt Mitchell opine on them from the outside, reminding us that it's not like this everywhere. For those of you watching this video who have never been to Houston, everything in this video is pretty much true. Well done!
32 years I been here in Houston, Born & Raised 🤘🔥 shout out my city! HTX
Lived in Houston my entire life, glad you put some respect on Mack’s name. Lol
You’re 100% spot on for each subject bro. Glad you enjoyed your visit but come back in January or February it’s tolerable then.
Mattress Mack is #1! Then the Astros. You mentioned the train driver, but no real mention of the Astros! 15 years ago, that would’ve been OK, but not after two World Series wins! Go ‘Stros! And the best thing about Houston is it’s only about an hour to an hour and a half from Galveston.
Preach on about Blue Bell ice cream. Truly Texas’s biggest contribution to joy in the world.
As a native Texan and Houston resident for the last 50 years... you are spot on... LOL!! Oh, and the reason there aren't that many Dollar Generals around is that they have a competitor here... Dollar Tree... 🤣🤣
Houston transplant from Dallas here, everything you said about Houston is true! The service roads or “feeder” roads as they call them here are terrifying. If your car has “sport” driving mode, I highly recommend you use it to pull out of Chilis with. 😂😂😂
As a Houstonian I agree with everything 😂 you basically nailed it 😂 most of the Dollar Generals are in the suburbs. Believe me when I tell you, they are everywhere. We have an HEB that is fairly close to us but I will drive 30 minutes in the opposite direction to get to the "good" HEB 😂
For me the "good" HEB is the one with BBQ.
@@MsMaileMay yes! And that's why we make that drive. It's really good BBQ.
We have a dollar tree in Richmond about 5 mins from my house lol lol The HEB is 10mins
Most of the little Buc-ees are south of Houston where Buc-ees got its start in the Freeport/Lake Jackson area. For many years Buc-ees were just normal sized convenience stores noted for cheap gas, clean restrooms and cheerful checkers almost exclusively located in Brazoria county (Houston is Harris county).
I grew up in Houston and now live in the home of Texas A&M. You are absolutely correct about the heat. It is miserable in the summer. And right now it's still summer. I will never move back to Houston for one reason- traffic. I have no idea how you got off so lucky while you were there, but I'm thankful you had a very uncharacteristic experience. It used to take me an hour to an hour and a half to get to work in Houston, when it should have taken 20 minutes for the distance. Learning to drive in Houston turns you into a very aware defensive driver, though!
When we lived in the Houston area, we always parked where there was a tree...not the closest parking place to the store. We used potholders to open car doirs and pixk up seat belt buckles thar could double as branding irons. Leaving a shop when you go to open the door, you hold your breath and shut your eyes like you would for a hot oven.
My truck has remote start and heated and cooled seats. It makes life here so much bearable; especially this year.
😂 This reminds me of living in the Phoenix, AZ area! Man those seat buckles were HOT!
This is also why people don't get leather interiors here. If you smell bacon after you get into your car, it's probably you cooking on the leather seats.
Happy you enjoyed your time in Brenham at the Blue Bell factory! If you ever go again, you need to go in March when the bluebonnets are blooming; it's a beautiful time of year!
As an expat Houstonian, I must share the amount of pride and commradery Houstonians share when we bump into each other outside of Houston. The further away from Houston you are when it happens, the more like family we treat each other. My Dad still nrags about how good race relations are in Houston. All throughout the civil rights era, every major city in the US had some form of race riots..
except Houston. Back in 1992, when Chicago won the NBA playoffs, they had riots for days. When Houston won in 1993, we had a parade! If I had to live in a big city again, I would pick Houston.
That is very true. I lived in Houston for 41 years, but I'm now retired in the Lake Chapala area of Mexico. We definitely have that pride and like-family-ness that you talked about with our fellow Houstonians here.
Tip for new drivers in Houston: Always drive in the middle lane when going through Houston. You never know which side your exit might be on. Also outer lanes tend to “peel off” and exit when you least expect it. It’s much easier to go across 3 lanes instead of 5. Plus you better be driving like a bat outa hell to keep from being run over, even at 2 in the morning.
My mom would always tell me that if the place I wanted to go to was on the Southside of Houston we couldn't go because it will be 2 hours there and 2 hours back .
Born and raised in Houston and I can confirm everything he said is spot on! Thanks for visiting my home town Matt!
Glad you visited and got a taste of the level of heat we live with. It’s scorching. I’m between Houston and Galveston and I must say, it’s the best. Close enough to both, but far away enough to avoid the crowds. 😊
As a Yankee born and raised in Connecticut, I was floored by that. So I looked it up
Houston: 665 sq miles
Connecticut: 5,028 sq miles
Houston metro area: 10,062!
This has been a very hot summer. It has finely cooled down to a low of 95° for the month of September.
Houstonian here. Can confirm all these things.
Honorable mention would be Houston's immense freeway loop system, with the recent inclusion of Grand Parkway aka Grand Raceway. We went from Loop 610 and Hwy 6 / FM1960 to also having the Beltway and now GP / 99, the amount of racetracks we have here is inconceivable!
I also tell newcomers to not dip slower than 10 mph OVER the posted speed limit or you will get shot.
I tell my boys that in the Houston area, everyone drives like the Duke Brothers. When there is traffic, trucks (which most people have) and even cars, will make new paths off the interstate and try to speed off into the feeder road. Or vice versa. Houston is a super friendly and kind melting pot (literally melting) until you get everyone on the road.
The fanciest HEB is Central Market. Houston only has one. If you have a Joe V's in your neighborhood (HEB's dented can store),.make sure you have good locks. ❤
I love H-town!
Fun facts: 1) If you ever have a reason to be in downtown Houston, you can get around without exposing yourself to the boiling rain and flaming air by using the most extensive urban pedestrian tunnel network in the USA.
2) All (only a slight exaggeration) Houston area restaurants not owned by Pappas Bros are owned by Landry's, which also owns the Kemah Boardwalk, Galveston Pleasure Pier, several hotels, and Mitchell's (!!!) Steakhouse.
Very accurate on the Landry's.
houston is the only place ive been to that somehow water is both less wet feeling and more hot than the air.
I read an article about your tunnel system a couple of years ago but have never been there. Are there still time restrictions when you can go see them?
@@carolemerle9995 They aren't "my" tunnels -- I live near Austin. According to the Houston government website, they're open from 6:00 AM to 6:00 PM on weekdays. There are several parking garages connected to the system. I usually park in the one on Louisiana Street when I travel to downtown Houston for business. Alternatively, I park at the Fannin South Metrorail station and take the train downtown. I've also stayed at the Hyatt and taken the elevator to the tunnel level.
It's similar to the network in Crystal City, Virginia, with retail and restaurants but much more spread out (about 6 miles of tunnels) and also connected to a downtown mall.
And the Rockets
You made me laugh out loud. And I'm in school, as I'm teaching school. So thanks for that. My kids are like, 'What's Mr. Taylor chuckling about?' ME: Oh, just Matt. Keep up the good work, my friend. And y'all come back, you hear!
Well done!👍 My favorite thing about Houston is the food. The catfish at the Nickel Sandwich Grill is legendary!
Im from Houston and I approve of this message 😂 well done 😂
As a Houstonian, this is a million percent accurate. 10/10, no notes. 🤣🤣❤️❤️❤️
Bobby Vasquez aka Bobby Dynamite is the Astros Train Guy. Awesome dude!
I lived in Houston for 20yrs - there's a lot to love about that city and surrounding areas and.... some not so great things
Those lanes of pavement next to the freeway are called the "feeder^. A nice idea of how big Houston is that one can travel the " Inner loop " 610 from point A back around the loop to the start point for an hour and half not be done, especially at peak hours. I-45 has been under construction since the 1960, and is not finished yet. By the time one stretch gets completed, it is time for other parts to be upgraded. By driving the "outer loop,"one can basically drive roughly 300 plus miles around the Houston metro area.
I have a love/hate relationship with the Houston metro area that I grew up in. Family, friends, Texans, Astros, Rockets, Buc-ees, Shipley's, BBQ, Tex-Mex, Seafood and Cajun...love. Traffic, heat, concrete and oh yeah more construction to destroy the few trees we have...hate. Don't forget about our Hurricanes either Matt. 😉
Also don't forget that due to it being unincorporated and having no zoning laws, home owners have zero rights. It's the world's largest trailer park.
The constant destruction of the land just so more places can be built drives me nuts. You can literally drive right by an empty strip center and there is a new one being built.
@@dansaunders6761 no zoning is mostly a good thing, believe it or not.
@@daintycaked I live in it and 100% disagree.
Tell me why you think it is good.
@@daintycaked I am serious in that I want to hear why you think it is good. I will explain more why I think it is not.
Home owners rights: because there is no zoning, the laws favor business owners. Home owners are forced to solely rely on HOAs to "keep the peace ". HOAs are unable to do so because they lack the authority and ability to police the rules. They can write letters and even issue fines but only if you, the home owner, can prove an infraction. On infractions, most are designed to protect home values and not keep the peace. Protecting home values is well and good but does nothing for your privacy and right to live peaceably.
Even if you get into a neighborhood with an active HOA with restrictions that maximize peace, ten feet outside your neighborhood it's the wild, wild west. Of course the flipside of an active HOA is their tendency towards power trips. They can make your life hell simply out of spite and you have no recourse because they answer to no one.
A well zoned and policed city does not have these problems.
Im one of the 3 from Connecticut, and thats NUTS. Also driving 5 hours to get to Florida. from Huntsville. In 5 hours you can drive to NOVA SCOTIA from CT.
Yes! The third person from Conn in the comments.
And after 5 hours you'll only be in Maine. I was curious so googled it and it's 12 hours. You were probably thinking of Montreal.
58 year old native, lifelong Houstonian here… not one error detected in this video. 👏🏻👍🏻
Beginners guide to Houston traffic:
1. The speed limit is the minimum speed required to drive
2. The left lane is reserved for those going at least 10 mph over the speed limit.
3. Changing lanes is always changing multiple lanes at the same time. You have to do advanced calculations to time moving across 4 lanes from the left lane to the exit ramp in one movement.
Wish I'd known you were visiting. I'm a South Georgian living here via a couple stops. The mystery of the mini-Buc'ees is those were the original size until they decided you could make a gas station a destination more fun than a theme park by following one simple rule: Give people clean restrooms and they will come. When you go down the interstates you'll see signs for Buc'ees 80 miles away. I think they have zoned in on the distance a family will travel from one Buc'ees before needing to stop and build another store at that point. And here the service roads are called frontage roads and speed limit is slightly lower than the main lanes. As for speed limits on major roads you can pretty much multiply posted by 1.5 to get the real speed. On 290 out of Houston you'll be going 75 in a posted 65 and find yourself the "slow old guy."
There's a billboard somewhere on I-44 I believe in southern Missouri that tells you there's a Buc-ee's ~450 miles away in Tennessee
Well said. As a lifelong Houstonian I can confirm being the slow grandpa (I’m 40ish) while still being more than 10 over the posted limit. And the cars passing aren’t moving past at a gentle rate - sometimes it’s so fast their air-wake gives your car a little kiss. Used to be speed traps everywhere (like 10+ years ago) but now I only see them on the Beltway.
There's a sign in Orange just as you cross Sabine Pass. It's for the Katy location (something like over 100 miles away).
And what does it say on the billboard? "You can hold it."
There's a sign just east of Pensacola, FL i believe i know its in the far west part of Florida for the BUCCEES in Baytown just east of Houston and it's "you can hold it" then like 700 miles it's amazing
@@fearlessleader3489 Oh, that's funny. I can see someone around Biloxy Mississippi who is in visual pain and squirming in the passenger seat.
Driver: "You know, I can pull up to this gas station up the road so you can go pee."
Passenger: "Absolutely not. I'm going to go at Bucees in Baytown. I've been holding it since Tallahassee. I can hold it until Baytown."
Been to Houston two times. You know it is large when there are two main airports.
Also humid.
As someone who grew up in the Brazoria County area (Where Buc-ees Originated), the first stores were smaller, like the Alvin, Pearland, Lake Jackson, League City Stores. I remember they first became popular because they were selling way cheaper gas than everyone, so naturally everybody was flocking to them. Word then got out about the bathrooms, and then they took off super fast to what they are now. I'm not really sure they do small stores anymore, but you'll find them mainly in the Brazoria/Galveston county area if I had to guess.
I saw a smaller Buc-ees in Freeport recently on the way to the beach 🤔
Exactly, it's one of the First Buc-ees made. Freeport is literally like 5 minutes from the Original Buc-ees.@@oeakyea
Note about point 2, it's only Houston that is like that. DFW, Austin etc. are still hot as hell, but Huston has freaking insane humidity that makes the rest of the states humidity feel mild.
Everythings bigger in TEXAS Matt, it's not just something we made up 😂😂
I have lived in houston my whole life and I can say he got it exactly right.
As a former Houstonian......I concur...I lived in Pearland when was 7000 people. Now it has 120,000. But I still visit all the time. I love my hometown.
My sister lives in Houston and everything you said is true. She took us to the Buc-Cee’s with the longest drive-thru car wash in Texas, a 1/4 mile long. Only in Texas…