"3 miles from the sun". I about spit out my coffee. That is both the funniest AND most accurate description of Houston I've ever heard. Also, Pappas restaurants are Sysco dealerships.
For your respect shown to Mattress Mack, your love of Blue Bell, and the genius idea of a repeating Whataburger/Shipley’s cityscape, we recognize you as an honorary Houstonian.
Some more fun notes about Houston from a native Texan: 1. Houston has no zoning laws. So you can and will pass a horse ranch, a strip mall, an office block, a residential development, and a light industrial site, all in the same mile stretch of avenue. 2. Related to the traffic thing, 2a. Matt must have caught Houston traffic on a good day because there are parts that can make Atlanta blush, we're talking barely moving for over an hour. The 610 Loop is legendary for this, though on last experience the Sam Houston Tollway that was built to take congestion off the Loop ain't much better these days. 2b. Even when traffic is flowing, it's Mad Max out there on the Interstates; use of turn signals is considered a sign of weakness and it's often better to signal the opposite to the lane you want to change to to fake out the dude who is gonna cut you off. 3. Houston has a light rail system. And nobody knows where it goes. Heck, half the time Houstonians forget it exists until they're crashing into the trains. 4. Houston is not just Houston. There's dozens of smaller cities that have been absorbed into the Greater Houston Metroplex. A fun local joke involves what happens when a Houston cop, a South Houston cop, a Pasadena cop, and a Webster cop all end up at a 4-way stop and deciding who goes first. 5. If you find yourself anywhere near the Fifth Ward, keep your windows rolled up and keep moving, otherwise you will be murdered. Houston is a dangerous town, and that is its most dangerous neighborhood. 6. If you wanna move there... Well, don't. But if you gotta, be aware that the Houston housing market is kinda weird in that it kind of ignores the trends throughout the rest of the nation. Like in the real estate bubble of 2008, prices never went up before the bubble burst, but after the burst they never really went down either. That said, it's not completely immune, just less so than other parts of Texas. 7. Galveston. About an hour away depending on traffic on I-45, it's our very own little slice of Key West on the Gulf. Beaches, amusement parks, cruise ships, the historic Strand, tons of museums, tons of bars, and most recently the likely new home of the battleship USS Texas. Just keep an eye on the Gulf and hope that century-old seawall will still prevent a repeat of the 1900 Storm that wiped the whole city off the map.
An amendment to your info about Galveston: don't walk on the beach with bare feet. Really don't walk on the beach at all unless you want to see if the combination of hepatitis and industrial waste will give you super powers. Spoiler alert the super power it gives you is the ability to die slowly...and painfully.
This is true, except if you take a wrong turn and go down a street too far in Galveston, you might actually find something worse than the fifth ward. It’s anarchy out here
Yeah, when getting back from a trip via plane you get that "whoosh" of hot and humid air as you exit the plane. Yep, we're home. Then you get in the airport at IAH and the food smells so good. (likely the same at Hobby) The only place I have been to that is worse is Key West, Florida. I was glad to get back to Houston to cool off. Showering was pointless in Key West.
As a Texan, my takeaway is that we need to raise the speed limits. If you don't feel like you're driving on the Texas Motor Speedway every time you hit the road, we did something wrong.
@@Sun-gs6hq tell that to all the suped up trucks that haven't seen any real work in years going 45 in a 30 in the right lane, tailgating, and not using the left lane to the last nanosecond.
I am a native Houstonian and I can verify all he says. Though I have to confess, I didn't know small Buc-ee's exist! Also, the No. 1 thing I love about Houston is that every ethnicity from all over the world has a community of people who live here. It is incredibly diverse! You can travel the world and never leave the city. Then again, the city is only slightly smaller than the whole world so, you're not really saving any time....
The 1st Bucees I ever visited was in Giddings. Just a normal sized store with Beaver Nuggets, warm cashews, beef jerky and immaculate bathrooms.What else do you really need?
Yes. The Buc-ees in Giddings was smaller and had rocking chairs (for sale?) on its porch. It got remodeled probably after all the bigger Buc-ees were being built, but it is still pretty small.
I think the first one is in Lake Jackson? It’s pretty small, so is the one in Alvin and also the one in Eagle Lake. There’s still a smaller one off 96 too, and last time I drove through Angleton, they had a smaller one off 35 & 288.
The guy who drives the MMP train is Bobby Dynamite! He is indeed a hero to all. Years ago, you would have included in the Houston Trinity Marvin Zindler, the "SLIME IN THE ICE MACHINE" guy, of Best Little Whorehouse in Texas fame. Sadly, he is no longer with us, and Dave Ward is retired, so we don't get to hear Dave say..."Thank you, Marvin", which was like knowing the Houston secret handshake.
Born & raised Houstonian here, and I can vouch for all the info in this video. Also, I haven't laughed so hard at being made fun of in a long time! This, folks. THIS is the kind of teasing humor that the world should embrace...not a hint of meanness or untruth here. LOVE it, Matt!
I'd like to revisit the traffic observations. I've lived in all of the big four cities in Texas (Dallas, Austin, Houston, San Antonio). Dallas drivers go WAY too fast; you can't move in Austin because there's not enough infrastructure to support all the Californians and hispters; and in San Antonio, everyone's either drunk or driving too slowly in the left lane. It's only in Houston where I'm convinced the drivers are actively trying to unalive you.
I've lived in San Antonio (now home,) Dallas, and Austin, and have spent a lot of time visiting and driving through Houston. You have it right. I've also lived in a dozen other cities around the country, and visited many more. In southern California, I've driven on the 405 at 4:05 PM, and the traffic was not nearly as bad or as slow as that in Austin at any time of the day or night. In Dallas, drivers slow down to 55 mph if they have to change a tire. San Antonio has lots of highways, because we have a lot of military bases, but so many Californians are moving here that it is hard to keep the roads big enough. I've had my windshield broken three times in Houston, by trucks throwing up rocks. But still, I wouldn't live anywhere but Texas.
I am terrified going through Dallas. Dallas drivers think that if you don’t have a car right next to you on both sides, you’re going to be lonely, so they pull up to keep you company. If you have a whole car length between you and the car ahead of you, you saved them a space. It feels like there’s always a car within 3 feet of you. In Houston, they’ll give you a car length. One.
I lived in Houston for 18 years. You nailed it. You did miss talking about the greatest donut ever made for mankind, Shipley's. We probably miss HEB more than anything now that we moved.
I grew up in Houston and can testify that you got the fundamentals basically nailed. The only thing I’d mention is how international the city is. It’s been an entry point for a long time, which is demonstrated by its huge cultural diversity.
Houston is not really a tourist destination, so a lot of people don't know about the amazing food scene. The lack of tourists made it a great city to grow up in. Most people visiting are there for business. There really isn't much to do that distinguishes it from any other major city, and it takes forever to get anywhere. Main reason I moved to Austin. He's totally wrong about the traffic... 610 by the Galleria is literally an automobile parade. You're not going anywhere any time soon, and good luck trying to move lane-to-lane, cuz Texans don't know how to merge.
The Pappas Bros have been flying under the radar for awhile now, I'm surprised you noticed! They are everywhere because everything they do is GOOD. If it's Pappas it doesn't matter what kind of food it is or where it's located, it's gonna be good!
I was born and raised on the Northside of Houston (right outside of the 610 loop) and everything is pretty accurate, except for traffic, I can remember sitting on the Katy Freeway for an hour while waiting to exit! I now live in OK and it drives me crazy that people take so long to go when the light turns green and that they drive the speed limit instead of the 10 miles over they are supposed to! I tell my friends, when you go to Houston, get out of the way or get run over, speed up when there is a yellow light and go when the light turns green!
Yeah, the thing about the traffic was confusing. Its true traffic is a mix btwn rollerderby and Nascar but since I live in the inner loop I know traffic that crawls at less than 5 mph for miles is the rule not an anomoly. So all he needs to do next time is take 45 up to Woodlands or back from it all during rush hour and you will see a sea of cars for miles.
Yeah and when you make it through the 3 miles of 5 mph traffic.... it opens up and there's no one there. No cop, no wreck, no broken down car, just no REASON for everyone driving slow.
I've been around the Houston area my entire life and you are correct on everything but the traffic. You came on a good day I guess. And also, Shipleys originated here and they have the absolute best glazed donuts ever created.
Thank you for you kind review of our state and the City of Houston. Yes, "Matress Mac" has been around since my early childhood and is an honest and awesome businessman!
Mattress Mac saved the day when Joel Ostend did not. Jesusian here and don't wanna be anywhere near JO on the day of judgement as I don't like massive infernos!
I remember I went to the Blue Bell Creamery once on vacation. The power ended up going out when a truck carrying a house hit the power line, so we couldn’t see the ice cream being made or anything. But, those $1 scoops were free because they had to get rid of it all before it melted
That is some Jeff Foxworthy stuff right there 🤣🤣🤣 If you ever lost power because of somebody towing a HOUSE, then... yea... there ain't no maybe LOL. But hey, life hack on how to get FREE ice cream. >>;=)
That sounds like the best vaca ever. You can always see icecream being made somewhere else but how often does the opportunity to stuff yourself with secret recipe, free, ice cream come along?
As a kid from the 'burbs of H-town. I love this, Matt. Always love your content. Houstonians typically call "service roads" "feeder roads" like they feed into the interstate.
Hey fellow '77er. It's a rarer thing when the feeders will be able to get you somewhere faster than the fwy, unless there's a wreck or it's not the 5-6 hrs/day of rush hour.
As a Houstonian I absolutely agree that not every HEB is the same HEB Clear Lake and HEB El Dorado look similar and yet HEB El Dorado has more stuff. Delightful video!
Moved to Houston 3 years ago and this is all 100% on point! HEB is a force to be reckoned with here! And Buc-ee's, boy oh boy, you have to respect the Beaver! FYI, those tortilla chips are in my pantry and yes, we all adore anything Texagon.
@@Cynsham Houston is so big it's the point where most of those climate zones meet and just by crossing a Bayou you suddenly leave the Piney Woods region and enter the Coastal Plains region... or the Central Plains Region... or the Prarie
The problem with Houston traffic, 290 especially, isn’t that it’s slow. It’s that it’s filled with people who think the only way to get into Heaven is to die in a glorious car crash. Especially like the Ford F-150s, Chevy Silverados, Dodge Rams, etc. They hit the on ramp and are *immediately* possessed by the long dead spirits of WW2 kamikaze pilots.
As a Houstonian…I loved this. You were spot on with all of it. My two favorites were the “feeders” (aka access, roads), and the fact you got Jim Adler in there 🤣😂 “The Texas Hammer”
If you get a chance (and it's here on CZcams, so you should do it), search "Jim Adler spanish." He does his own commercials on the Spanish-language stations, and he speaks Spanish with a thick Texas accent. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Houston born and raised! Love my hometown and loved your spot on analysis of it! Except for the HEB part. There are some real crap HEBs out there, built during the time when HEB was still trying to figure itself out and work its way into the Houston grocery store market. Also the guy who drives the train at Minute Maid is Bobby Dynamite. He has two World Series rings lol
Early concept stores of 90s (limited stores - pantry) were a way to stick with old noncompete agreement to get into market. Once Safeway bought out competition the floodgates opened for HEB to move in with real stores. Just thankful they finally made it to DFW
@@CG-gf7ce You and me both. Before the Plano store opened I only had Kroger and Walmart for options. Well, Tom Thumb too, but they're way too overpriced.
Native Nutmegger here! I moved to VA a few years ago and found you and those other people when I was learning more about the south and I’ve been watching you ever since.
Hubby was a corporate pilot flying a four-engine Jetstar out of Houston. He once took off from Intercontinental Airport to fly to Midland and pick up a passenger to bring him home. I left at the same time to pick up a rug on the other side of town. Hubby was back before I was.
My favorite Texas shaped thing are waffles - so many hotel breakfasts have Texas shaped waffles. Got on a flight once and the flight attendant was showing everyone her Texas shaped waffle - not a picture - but an actual waffle.
I have lived most of my life in the Houston area and you were spot on! I was busting a gut watching this video. You made my day! Mattress Mack trumps all of the trinity though. He is an institution unto himself.
Driving through Houston at 5 pm on a Friday pulling a trailer MIGHT change your opinion of how great traffic is in Houston. We'll follow you anywhere Matt.
With Houston it's not so much whether the traffic is good or bad, it's where you're driving. South Loop of Beltway 8? An Indy 500 practice track (at least until you get near 288). West Loop of 610 north of 59? Parking lot, 23 hours a day, and that one remaining hour from about 3:00-4:00 am is still pretty busy.
Matt's probably comparing to Atlanta, and may not be considering the distance traveled as a factor. Houston's traffic flow isn't as bad as some cities, but it's very spread out even compared to other US cities, so it typically ranks rather high on Longest Commute lists (but usually not in the top 3). For example, Houston and Atlanta tend to have similar ranks on total traffic delays aggregated over all drivers annually, but Houston's area is about 5 times that of Atlanta (135 square miles for Atlanta, 670 square miles for Houston). So a Houstonite may only experience a total delay similar to that of an Atlantan, but they experience it spread out over 2-3 times the distance.
As a Houstonian, I can conform most of this is accurate, except for the traffic. I have no idea how you got so lucky with that, nobody even moves for ambulances here.
Depends which direction at what time, but it's still way better than Atlanta, LA, NYC, though I Dallas they drive much faster. When it's not rush hour Houston drivers go so so slow, way below the speed limit.
This Dallasite has always heard that Houston has such bad traffic because it lacks crosstown streets. If you want to get across town, you've got to get up on the highway. Dallas, on the other hand, has lots of crosstown streets because Dallas roads were designed by all the big retailers (Titche, Sanger Harris, etc.) and the roads are all designed to get you to a shopping center by the most efficient route. Dallas traffic sucks probably because of all those people trying to get to a store.
Number 11: Houston is the u-turn capitol of the world! In my first month here, I made more u-turns than I have made in my 56 years of driving! Also street signs suck in Houston. The big streets may be visibly marked, but smaller streets not so much. A lot has to do with the signs being swallowed up by overgrown trees and brush, and the city not keeping up. But I have to admit the beautiful houses and tree lined streets are wonderful.
Fine job you did there; for a foreigner. The good news is that everyone in Houston seems to be a foreigner. The service roads are officially called frontage roads, but everyone in Houston, and only in Houston, calls them "feeders" because they feed the freeways. We do indeed drive farther to get to a "great" HEB. We're getting a new one out here in Katy and it looks like it's going to be huge. I went to a mini Buc-ee's once. I was shocked at how much food and such they had. I was expecting a normal convenience store, but no!. It's basically a scaled down version of a big Buc-ee's. We do have dollar stores, but they're tucked away in neighborhoods.
As a native Texan, frontage roads is correct, but 'access roads' feels more universal. Service roads is right out, though. I do admit I am from the parts of Texas without HEB and Buccee's (bazaar, I know) and have only recently gotten to experience them, so great HEBs and big buccee's are all I know. I guess I'm lucky ;)
@@candybearGaming I remember the first "Frontage Rd." sign I ever saw. (I lived out in Deer Park/Pasadena back then; decades ago.) It seemed to be an odd name to name a road. After a minute or so I had an "aha" moment and understood they were talking about the feeder.
As a native Texan and Houston resident for the last 50 years... you are spot on... LOL!! Oh, and the reason there aren't that many Dollar Generals around is that they have a competitor here... Dollar Tree... 🤣🤣
I live in the Texas Hill Country, in one of the 5 fastest growing counties in the COUNTRY, & we are being invaded by Houstonians fleeing the congestion of the big city (making the big cities of Austin & San Antonio even more congested)….. but I grew up in Houston, so I can hardly begrudge them…. My husband says that everybody should go to Houston at least once a year, preferably at Christmastime…. Houston’s Christmas decorations can easily be seen from outer space.
HA! Yes, I agree, although to be fair, I moved to Bandera from Houston and it's hard to tell others to stop the influx. Don't get me wrong, I wish they'd come here and spend their tourism money and go home. But since I did the same thing you did, well, it's hard to be too judgy, lol.
Now THIS is an entertaining video! We take all these things for granted in Houston, and it was funny hearing Matt Mitchell opine on them from the outside, reminding us that it's not like this everywhere. For those of you watching this video who have never been to Houston, everything in this video is pretty much true. Well done!
As a Houstonian I agree with everything 😂 you basically nailed it 😂 most of the Dollar Generals are in the suburbs. Believe me when I tell you, they are everywhere. We have an HEB that is fairly close to us but I will drive 30 minutes in the opposite direction to get to the "good" HEB 😂
Glad you visited and got a taste of the level of heat we live with. It’s scorching. I’m between Houston and Galveston and I must say, it’s the best. Close enough to both, but far away enough to avoid the crowds. 😊
I grew up in Houston and now live in the home of Texas A&M. You are absolutely correct about the heat. It is miserable in the summer. And right now it's still summer. I will never move back to Houston for one reason- traffic. I have no idea how you got off so lucky while you were there, but I'm thankful you had a very uncharacteristic experience. It used to take me an hour to an hour and a half to get to work in Houston, when it should have taken 20 minutes for the distance. Learning to drive in Houston turns you into a very aware defensive driver, though!
@@eb4600 I ended up unsubscribing from IAST. They're just not funny anymore. I wouldn't say it's definitely because Matt left; they're just... not funny.
Lived in Houston my entire life, glad you put some respect on Mack’s name. Lol You’re 100% spot on for each subject bro. Glad you enjoyed your visit but come back in January or February it’s tolerable then.
Mattress Mack is #1! Then the Astros. You mentioned the train driver, but no real mention of the Astros! 15 years ago, that would’ve been OK, but not after two World Series wins! Go ‘Stros! And the best thing about Houston is it’s only about an hour to an hour and a half from Galveston.
When we lived in the Houston area, we always parked where there was a tree...not the closest parking place to the store. We used potholders to open car doirs and pixk up seat belt buckles thar could double as branding irons. Leaving a shop when you go to open the door, you hold your breath and shut your eyes like you would for a hot oven.
This is also why people don't get leather interiors here. If you smell bacon after you get into your car, it's probably you cooking on the leather seats.
I am a native Texan and moved from DFW to Houston five years ago. I love Buc-ee’s. The Chopped Beef’s sandwiches so good. FYI: There is a small Buc-ee’s in Sugarland.
Most of the little Buc-ees are south of Houston where Buc-ees got its start in the Freeport/Lake Jackson area. For many years Buc-ees were just normal sized convenience stores noted for cheap gas, clean restrooms and cheerful checkers almost exclusively located in Brazoria county (Houston is Harris county).
Houston transplant from Dallas here, everything you said about Houston is true! The service roads or “feeder” roads as they call them here are terrifying. If your car has “sport” driving mode, I highly recommend you use it to pull out of Chilis with. 😂😂😂
My mom would always tell me that if the place I wanted to go to was on the Southside of Houston we couldn't go because it will be 2 hours there and 2 hours back .
You made me laugh out loud. And I'm in school, as I'm teaching school. So thanks for that. My kids are like, 'What's Mr. Taylor chuckling about?' ME: Oh, just Matt. Keep up the good work, my friend. And y'all come back, you hear!
Wish I'd known you were visiting. I'm a South Georgian living here via a couple stops. The mystery of the mini-Buc'ees is those were the original size until they decided you could make a gas station a destination more fun than a theme park by following one simple rule: Give people clean restrooms and they will come. When you go down the interstates you'll see signs for Buc'ees 80 miles away. I think they have zoned in on the distance a family will travel from one Buc'ees before needing to stop and build another store at that point. And here the service roads are called frontage roads and speed limit is slightly lower than the main lanes. As for speed limits on major roads you can pretty much multiply posted by 1.5 to get the real speed. On 290 out of Houston you'll be going 75 in a posted 65 and find yourself the "slow old guy."
Well said. As a lifelong Houstonian I can confirm being the slow grandpa (I’m 40ish) while still being more than 10 over the posted limit. And the cars passing aren’t moving past at a gentle rate - sometimes it’s so fast their air-wake gives your car a little kiss. Used to be speed traps everywhere (like 10+ years ago) but now I only see them on the Beltway.
There's a sign in Orange just as you cross Sabine Pass. It's for the Katy location (something like over 100 miles away). And what does it say on the billboard? "You can hold it."
There's a sign just east of Pensacola, FL i believe i know its in the far west part of Florida for the BUCCEES in Baytown just east of Houston and it's "you can hold it" then like 700 miles it's amazing
@@fearlessleader3489 Oh, that's funny. I can see someone around Biloxy Mississippi who is in visual pain and squirming in the passenger seat. Driver: "You know, I can pull up to this gas station up the road so you can go pee." Passenger: "Absolutely not. I'm going to go at Bucees in Baytown. I've been holding it since Tallahassee. I can hold it until Baytown."
Fun facts: 1) If you ever have a reason to be in downtown Houston, you can get around without exposing yourself to the boiling rain and flaming air by using the most extensive urban pedestrian tunnel network in the USA. 2) All (only a slight exaggeration) Houston area restaurants not owned by Pappas Bros are owned by Landry's, which also owns the Kemah Boardwalk, Galveston Pleasure Pier, several hotels, and Mitchell's (!!!) Steakhouse.
I read an article about your tunnel system a couple of years ago but have never been there. Are there still time restrictions when you can go see them?
@@carolemerle9995 They aren't "my" tunnels -- I live near Austin. According to the Houston government website, they're open from 6:00 AM to 6:00 PM on weekdays. There are several parking garages connected to the system. I usually park in the one on Louisiana Street when I travel to downtown Houston for business. Alternatively, I park at the Fannin South Metrorail station and take the train downtown. I've also stayed at the Hyatt and taken the elevator to the tunnel level. It's similar to the network in Crystal City, Virginia, with retail and restaurants but much more spread out (about 6 miles of tunnels) and also connected to a downtown mall.
We lived there forn5 years- I'm shocked that you are so spot on after a single visit! Ima Hogg's mansion was my absolute favorite place to visit- you'll have to go back!
Happy you enjoyed your time in Brenham at the Blue Bell factory! If you ever go again, you need to go in March when the bluebonnets are blooming; it's a beautiful time of year!
Oh, the accuracy. Houston is an hour away from Houston. But the word you're looking for is "feeder." Not "service road." Not just Dollar General - we have a shocking shortage of Waffle Houses too. That's why we never know when to evacuate from a hurricane.
As someone who grew up in the Brazoria County area (Where Buc-ees Originated), the first stores were smaller, like the Alvin, Pearland, Lake Jackson, League City Stores. I remember they first became popular because they were selling way cheaper gas than everyone, so naturally everybody was flocking to them. Word then got out about the bathrooms, and then they took off super fast to what they are now. I'm not really sure they do small stores anymore, but you'll find them mainly in the Brazoria/Galveston county area if I had to guess.
But the difference is that you don't have to typically travel more than 15 minutes ON FOOT, to find what you need. Houston on the other hand is 15 minutes by car, and that's if you live within 5 miles of whatever it is you need. I also did not think Tokyo was any more humid than Houston, and was definitely not as hot while I was living there (usually only got to about 85 to 90 F on a "hot" day for the 4 years I was there), but I was also always outside during the Houston summers, so maybe I was just very acclimated to it.
As a Mitchell who lives just outside of Houston, welcome! A few quick notes: --It's an ongoing joke that Houston is over an hour away from Houston. This is all true. Driving from my suburb on the southern side of town to my folk's house on the NW side takes more than 30 minutes on a Saturday morning with NO traffic. --The "service roads" in Houston are called "feeders." Also, every major highway in town has at least 2 names; it's how we distinguish who's local. --Dollar Generals are ALL OVER the suburbs. You just stayed in the fancy parts of town. --The various Buc-ee's sizes: There's regular (enormous) locations, the smaller versions that are still built originally as Buc-ee's (I call them "baby Buc-ee's") and then the locations where they took over other gas stations and retro-fitted the Buc-ee's brand ("fetal Buc-ee's"). --Come back sometime!
"The three people who have been to Connecticut" 😂 Born and raised here. I cannot wrap my mind around a city being as big as my state especially because I don't consider Connecticut to be small.
When we lived in Shoreacres....between Houston and the gulf...we could drive 90 miles an hour for an hour and a half and just bearly be at the city limit on our way to San Antonio. Yeah, it was that fast.
People in other states think those in CT are goofy for complaining about how far it is to have to drive somewhere. You can cover the whole state in a couple of hours. Still, it's bigger than Rhode Island, where people pack a lunch to drive more than half an hour, if you can convince them to drive that far at all.
I have a love/hate relationship with the Houston metro area that I grew up in. Family, friends, Texans, Astros, Rockets, Buc-ees, Shipley's, BBQ, Tex-Mex, Seafood and Cajun...love. Traffic, heat, concrete and oh yeah more construction to destroy the few trees we have...hate. Don't forget about our Hurricanes either Matt. 😉
The constant destruction of the land just so more places can be built drives me nuts. You can literally drive right by an empty strip center and there is a new one being built.
@@daintycaked I am serious in that I want to hear why you think it is good. I will explain more why I think it is not. Home owners rights: because there is no zoning, the laws favor business owners. Home owners are forced to solely rely on HOAs to "keep the peace ". HOAs are unable to do so because they lack the authority and ability to police the rules. They can write letters and even issue fines but only if you, the home owner, can prove an infraction. On infractions, most are designed to protect home values and not keep the peace. Protecting home values is well and good but does nothing for your privacy and right to live peaceably. Even if you get into a neighborhood with an active HOA with restrictions that maximize peace, ten feet outside your neighborhood it's the wild, wild west. Of course the flipside of an active HOA is their tendency towards power trips. They can make your life hell simply out of spite and you have no recourse because they answer to no one. A well zoned and policed city does not have these problems.
Hey Matt! Native Houstonian here.....Loved this! You are so spot on after 64 consecutive 100° days this summer it did feel like we were only 3 miles from the sun! Just one correction, you can fit Rhode Island in Houston/Harris County. Connecticut would only fit if you Photoshop it😅 Keep the laughs coming!❤
Welcome to out little village on the bayou. We have folks from all over the world. Work never stops. You can get almost anything you can think of 24/7. Thanks for the great review
Great & funny, Matt. I hope you had a nice visit. Only additions I’d make is Johnson Space Center is here (we’re called space city) and we are soooooo diverse. Makes for interesting friendships and excellent restaurants!
Subscribe or Houston gets a Dollar General
Yes yes yes another video
You do know that this counts as extortion right?
And we all know what happens once they get one........
when you go outside of Houston the dollar generals are on every corner. Houston land is to expensive for them
don't you put that evil on us
Houston is an hour and a half away from Houston.
I have never heard this in my life and I've been here for over 40 years. This is perfect!
I feel that way about Nashville. 🫠🤪😂🤣🤣🤣
😂😆
You are so right! 20 minutes away is down the street. 😂
Facts
When I lived in Houston I was in a long distance relationship with a gal who also happened to live in Houston 😳True story.
Nothing like living on the east side and dating a girl in Katy, eh?
I live in Crosby and once dated a girl that lived near Hwy 6 and Westheimer. sometimes took 90 minutes to get to her apartment
Yep I think Houston invented the phrase geographically desirable .
I used to visit my girlfriend in Humble from Missouri City.
Lol so was I
"3 miles from the sun". I about spit out my coffee. That is both the funniest AND most accurate description of Houston I've ever heard.
Also, Pappas restaurants are Sysco dealerships.
Heat advisory on may 24th 🤣🤣🤣
For your respect shown to Mattress Mack, your love of Blue Bell, and the genius idea of a repeating Whataburger/Shipley’s cityscape, we recognize you as an honorary Houstonian.
Wow Matt, you've been inducted!
Houstonians: * crowns Matt with a hat in the shape of Texas *
@@user-qx1om2wj1h That has a smaller, but still large, hat in the shape of Texas on top
As a native Houstonian I second this notion.
@@bryank5932 ditto
Some more fun notes about Houston from a native Texan:
1. Houston has no zoning laws. So you can and will pass a horse ranch, a strip mall, an office block, a residential development, and a light industrial site, all in the same mile stretch of avenue.
2. Related to the traffic thing, 2a. Matt must have caught Houston traffic on a good day because there are parts that can make Atlanta blush, we're talking barely moving for over an hour. The 610 Loop is legendary for this, though on last experience the Sam Houston Tollway that was built to take congestion off the Loop ain't much better these days. 2b. Even when traffic is flowing, it's Mad Max out there on the Interstates; use of turn signals is considered a sign of weakness and it's often better to signal the opposite to the lane you want to change to to fake out the dude who is gonna cut you off.
3. Houston has a light rail system. And nobody knows where it goes. Heck, half the time Houstonians forget it exists until they're crashing into the trains.
4. Houston is not just Houston. There's dozens of smaller cities that have been absorbed into the Greater Houston Metroplex. A fun local joke involves what happens when a Houston cop, a South Houston cop, a Pasadena cop, and a Webster cop all end up at a 4-way stop and deciding who goes first.
5. If you find yourself anywhere near the Fifth Ward, keep your windows rolled up and keep moving, otherwise you will be murdered. Houston is a dangerous town, and that is its most dangerous neighborhood.
6. If you wanna move there... Well, don't. But if you gotta, be aware that the Houston housing market is kinda weird in that it kind of ignores the trends throughout the rest of the nation. Like in the real estate bubble of 2008, prices never went up before the bubble burst, but after the burst they never really went down either. That said, it's not completely immune, just less so than other parts of Texas.
7. Galveston. About an hour away depending on traffic on I-45, it's our very own little slice of Key West on the Gulf. Beaches, amusement parks, cruise ships, the historic Strand, tons of museums, tons of bars, and most recently the likely new home of the battleship USS Texas. Just keep an eye on the Gulf and hope that century-old seawall will still prevent a repeat of the 1900 Storm that wiped the whole city off the map.
An amendment to your info about Galveston: don't walk on the beach with bare feet. Really don't walk on the beach at all unless you want to see if the combination of hepatitis and industrial waste will give you super powers. Spoiler alert the super power it gives you is the ability to die slowly...and painfully.
" no zoning laws " ........ both a blessing and a curse (biblically)
This is true, except if you take a wrong turn and go down a street too far in Galveston, you might actually find something worse than the fifth ward. It’s anarchy out here
I like that Houston is not zoned. Zoning was invented for a specific purpose that I don't agree with.
@@t.texastimmy1022 okay i can agree with this one! 😂
As a Houstonian, I concur with most of what you learned about us, especially being 3 miles from the sun and on fire.
Yeah, when getting back from a trip via plane you get that "whoosh" of hot and humid air as you exit the plane. Yep, we're home. Then you get in the airport at IAH and the food smells so good. (likely the same at Hobby) The only place I have been to that is worse is Key West, Florida. I was glad to get back to Houston to cool off. Showering was pointless in Key West.
On fire while being under water at the same time
Imagine New Orleans with no breeze!
@@johnnyreb3542 no wind to blow away the scent of sun dried drunk'n vomit from bourbon street.... That sounds awful.
same!
As a Texan, my takeaway is that we need to raise the speed limits. If you don't feel like you're driving on the Texas Motor Speedway every time you hit the road, we did something wrong.
Agreed. Too many slow drivers and TRUCK drivers need their designated lane because they slow everyone down on top of slow drivers.
True
Left lane is the passing lane.
I45......
Drops mic
Walks away
@@Sun-gs6hq tell that to all the suped up trucks that haven't seen any real work in years going 45 in a 30 in the right lane, tailgating, and not using the left lane to the last nanosecond.
I am a native Houstonian and I can verify all he says. Though I have to confess, I didn't know small Buc-ee's exist! Also, the No. 1 thing I love about Houston is that every ethnicity from all over the world has a community of people who live here. It is incredibly diverse! You can travel the world and never leave the city. Then again, the city is only slightly smaller than the whole world so, you're not really saving any time....
There are two small buccees in Pearland.
The next highway loop around Houston, now that the Grand Parkway is done, will include all of Texas. The one after that will circle the earth.
There's one on the grand parkway near 59S close to the Rosenburg/Richmond area. I know that much.
There is a small buckees in League City and also Alvin
The one in the video is Alvin on 35 . There’s little Buccees all over south and south east of Houston.
I am a lifelong (mostly) Texan, and i have NEVER heard the word "Texagon." But now i will use it every day. Thanks!
I don't care what CGI Grey says. Texagons are the best-a-gons.
Yeah, that one's new to me and we've been here three generations (at least; that's as far back as my known ancestry goes).
Same
@@kevingray8616 heh, *CGP Grey
Born and raised in TX and first I heard of this word and now it will be apart of my regular vocabulary
The original buccees were small. The big stores came later. They walked so beaver nuggets could run.
The 1st Bucees I ever visited was in Giddings. Just a normal sized store with Beaver Nuggets, warm cashews, beef jerky and immaculate bathrooms.What else do you really need?
Yes. The Buc-ees in Giddings was smaller and had rocking chairs (for sale?) on its porch. It got remodeled probably after all the bigger Buc-ees were being built, but it is still pretty small.
I think the first one is in Lake Jackson? It’s pretty small, so is the one in Alvin and also the one in Eagle Lake. There’s still a smaller one off 96 too, and last time I drove through Angleton, they had a smaller one off 35 & 288.
Baby Buc-ees sound like a good idea.
There used to be a small one in Gonzales. But it's some other gas station now 😢
The guy who drives the MMP train is Bobby Dynamite! He is indeed a hero to all. Years ago, you would have included in the Houston Trinity Marvin Zindler, the "SLIME IN THE ICE MACHINE" guy, of Best Little Whorehouse in Texas fame. Sadly, he is no longer with us, and Dave Ward is retired, so we don't get to hear Dave say..."Thank you, Marvin", which was like knowing the Houston secret handshake.
Yes!
As a kid, I genuinely cried the night I found out Marvin Zindler had died. A true icon of Houston media.
Grew up watching Marvin Zindler. He was a treasure!
Those blue glasses
Marvin Zindler, EYEWITNESS NEWS!!!
Born & raised Houstonian here, and I can vouch for all the info in this video. Also, I haven't laughed so hard at being made fun of in a long time! This, folks. THIS is the kind of teasing humor that the world should embrace...not a hint of meanness or untruth here.
LOVE it, Matt!
Why won’t anyone admit to trying to live in Houston when we just work there
We have Klein Spring Tomball Kingwood Woodlands and Kind to ya KATY
Born and raised there too and agree except for the traffic. Just when was Matt driving? There are two speeds " bat out of hell" or dead still.
Growing up in Houston, I learned the word "oppressive" from the weatherman, in describing the humidity.
wow. I forgot all about that guy. People made fun of him all the time!
🤣🤣🤣
I'd like to revisit the traffic observations. I've lived in all of the big four cities in Texas (Dallas, Austin, Houston, San Antonio). Dallas drivers go WAY too fast; you can't move in Austin because there's not enough infrastructure to support all the Californians and hispters; and in San Antonio, everyone's either drunk or driving too slowly in the left lane. It's only in Houston where I'm convinced the drivers are actively trying to unalive you.
I've lived in San Antonio (now home,) Dallas, and Austin, and have spent a lot of time visiting and driving through Houston. You have it right. I've also lived in a dozen other cities around the country, and visited many more. In southern California, I've driven on the 405 at 4:05 PM, and the traffic was not nearly as bad or as slow as that in Austin at any time of the day or night. In Dallas, drivers slow down to 55 mph if they have to change a tire. San Antonio has lots of highways, because we have a lot of military bases, but so many Californians are moving here that it is hard to keep the roads big enough. I've had my windshield broken three times in Houston, by trucks throwing up rocks. But still, I wouldn't live anywhere but Texas.
I am terrified going through Dallas. Dallas drivers think that if you don’t have a car right next to you on both sides, you’re going to be lonely, so they pull up to keep you company. If you have a whole car length between you and the car ahead of you, you saved them a space. It feels like there’s always a car within 3 feet of you. In Houston, they’ll give you a car length. One.
@@cmarknI found that the best way to drive around Dallas was to aim my car, shut my eyes, and stomp on the accelerator.
@@texas2step266 😬😬😬🤣
That’s completely untrue about San Antonio
I lived in Houston for 18 years. You nailed it. You did miss talking about the greatest donut ever made for mankind, Shipley's. We probably miss HEB more than anything now that we moved.
I love Shipley's, best donut around.
A freshly made hot glazed donut from Shipley’s is indescribably good. It’s something that has to be tasted to be believed
Ive eat donuts around the world and Shipleys reigns supreme. Also he missed Kolaches.
The kolaches are legendary.
Best thing about HEB: parking lot hot pork tamales by the dozen.
I grew up in Houston and can testify that you got the fundamentals basically nailed. The only thing I’d mention is how international the city is. It’s been an entry point for a long time, which is demonstrated by its huge cultural diversity.
Houston is not really a tourist destination, so a lot of people don't know about the amazing food scene. The lack of tourists made it a great city to grow up in. Most people visiting are there for business. There really isn't much to do that distinguishes it from any other major city, and it takes forever to get anywhere. Main reason I moved to Austin.
He's totally wrong about the traffic... 610 by the Galleria is literally an automobile parade. You're not going anywhere any time soon, and good luck trying to move lane-to-lane, cuz Texans don't know how to merge.
Yea Diversity! Diversity is our Strength! Yea!
As a current resident of a suburb just north oh Houston, I concur. I45 is a mix between NASCAR, a high speed police chase, and roller derby.
💯 accurate
I remember when Conroe was a 30 minute drive from Houston. ...now it's just a suburb north of Houston.
Not too sure about the police chases but NASCAR drivers know what they are doing. The NASCAR wannabe's here are a very dangerous bunch.
Agreed!
I drive on I59 almost every day. I45 is like I'm on a different planet. I have to pry my fingers from the steering wheel after a drive on I45.
50 miles from the Gulf and 3 miles from the Sun 😂😂😂 That awesome Matt.
The Pappas Bros have been flying under the radar for awhile now, I'm surprised you noticed! They are everywhere because everything they do is GOOD. If it's Pappas it doesn't matter what kind of food it is or where it's located, it's gonna be good!
💯
Some of the best food to be had….. if you can afford it.
I was born and raised on the Northside of Houston (right outside of the 610 loop) and everything is pretty accurate, except for traffic, I can remember sitting on the Katy Freeway for an hour while waiting to exit! I now live in OK and it drives me crazy that people take so long to go when the light turns green and that they drive the speed limit instead of the 10 miles over they are supposed to! I tell my friends, when you go to Houston, get out of the way or get run over, speed up when there is a yellow light and go when the light turns green!
Yeah, the thing about the traffic was confusing. Its true traffic is a mix btwn rollerderby and Nascar but since I live in the inner loop I know traffic that crawls at less than 5 mph for miles is the rule not an anomoly. So all he needs to do next time is take 45 up to Woodlands or back from it all during rush hour and you will see a sea of cars for miles.
Yeah and when you make it through the 3 miles of 5 mph traffic.... it opens up and there's no one there. No cop, no wreck, no broken down car, just no REASON for everyone driving slow.
Lol it's weird hearing 610 as the north being someone who's lived near the woodlands for awhile
Here in texas you drive like you've entered a race and have 20 grand on it
#4 Don't forget the Texas-shaped cast-iron cornbread skillet!
and hotel waffle makers!
And waffles.
@@Birdbike719 I love those! Had one when we were travelling through Texas at Easter. 😀
Please start doing these more often. A southerners need to know what we are not missing in other states.
Yes, send Matt to other crappy parts of the South so we don't have to go!
@@darthdadt 10 things i learned about Pasadena
@@jmit3491..Yeah, Yankees are weird..
Every Monday! But I wouldn’t complain if it was every day!
Lol. Every part of the north is a crappy part. I wouldn't send a dog to visit anywhere north of Tennessee.@@jmit3491
I've been around the Houston area my entire life and you are correct on everything but the traffic. You came on a good day I guess. And also, Shipleys originated here and they have the absolute best glazed donuts ever created.
It depends on the area, lots of traffic, but it moves a lot better than other metro areas. We have one of the better highway systems.
Thank you for you kind review of our state and the City of Houston. Yes, "Matress Mac" has been around since my early childhood and is an honest and awesome businessman!
Mattress Mac saved the day when Joel Ostend did not. Jesusian here and don't wanna be anywhere near JO on the day of judgement as I don't like massive infernos!
I remember I went to the Blue Bell Creamery once on vacation. The power ended up going out when a truck carrying a house hit the power line, so we couldn’t see the ice cream being made or anything. But, those $1 scoops were free because they had to get rid of it all before it melted
That is some Jeff Foxworthy stuff right there 🤣🤣🤣 If you ever lost power because of somebody towing a HOUSE, then... yea... there ain't no maybe LOL. But hey, life hack on how to get FREE ice cream. >>;=)
That sounds like the best vaca ever. You can always see icecream being made somewhere else but how often does the opportunity to stuff yourself with secret recipe, free, ice cream come along?
Blue Bell Ice Cream's slogan is "We eat all we can, and. we sell the rest" Ha !!
I would have been back in the car shitting on myself because I would have had scoop after scoop lol
As a kid from the 'burbs of H-town. I love this, Matt. Always love your content. Houstonians typically call "service roads" "feeder roads" like they feed into the interstate.
Yes!! This! I was hoping someone would say that! I never knew that it was just a local thing until I was very much into my 20s!
They're called frontage roads, too, but nobody actually calls them that.
@@queenb67What you said was a little bit of a paradox there 🤣🤣
Hey fellow '77er. It's a rarer thing when the feeders will be able to get you somewhere faster than the fwy, unless there's a wreck or it's not the 5-6 hrs/day of rush hour.
Yes! I just commented this....that is an exclusively Houston thing, too....NOT a Texas thing.
As a Houstonian I absolutely agree that not every HEB is the same HEB Clear Lake and HEB El Dorado look similar and yet HEB El Dorado has more stuff.
Delightful video!
Moved to Houston 3 years ago and this is all 100% on point! HEB is a force to be reckoned with here! And Buc-ee's, boy oh boy, you have to respect the Beaver! FYI, those tortilla chips are in my pantry and yes, we all adore anything Texagon.
In my experience Texas is really not a southern state, it is actually a separate and sovereign nation that has an alliance with the south.
Sort of,
East Texas, specifically SE Texas is old south, we have very strong connections in both culture and family with Louisiana and Arkansas.
Texas is so big we basically have entirely separate climate zones within our own state 😂
Wooo!!! You are the WINNER! That is ABSOLUTELY the truth. And we want everyone to know it.
@@Cynsham Houston is so big it's the point where most of those climate zones meet and just by crossing a Bayou you suddenly leave the Piney Woods region and enter the Coastal Plains region... or the Central Plains Region... or the Prarie
@@Cynshamand time zones😂
The problem with Houston traffic, 290 especially, isn’t that it’s slow. It’s that it’s filled with people who think the only way to get into Heaven is to die in a glorious car crash. Especially like the Ford F-150s, Chevy Silverados, Dodge Rams, etc. They hit the on ramp and are *immediately* possessed by the long dead spirits of WW2 kamikaze pilots.
Yeah!
😂🤣💀
As a Houstonian…I loved this. You were spot on with all of it.
My two favorites were the “feeders” (aka access, roads), and the fact you got Jim Adler in there 🤣😂 “The Texas Hammer”
If you get a chance (and it's here on CZcams, so you should do it), search "Jim Adler spanish."
He does his own commercials on the Spanish-language stations, and he speaks Spanish with a thick Texas accent.
It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
God bless the Texas hammer! And mattress Mack 😂
As a Houstonian, this was so accurate and hysterical! I laughed out loud several times!😂 Bravo!
Houston born and raised! Love my hometown and loved your spot on analysis of it! Except for the HEB part. There are some real crap HEBs out there, built during the time when HEB was still trying to figure itself out and work its way into the Houston grocery store market. Also the guy who drives the train at Minute Maid is Bobby Dynamite. He has two World Series rings lol
Also, some of the worst H-E-B's look like your average Kroger.
Wait until you move out of Texas. I would kill for even a mediocre HEB in Albuquerque. No comparison.
Early concept stores of 90s (limited stores - pantry) were a way to stick with old noncompete agreement to get into market. Once Safeway bought out competition the floodgates opened for HEB to move in with real stores. Just thankful they finally made it to DFW
@@CG-gf7ce You and me both. Before the Plano store opened I only had Kroger and Walmart for options. Well, Tom Thumb too, but they're way too overpriced.
remember when heb had a budget grocery store called heb pantry food?
There is no city on earth that is more culturally diverse and yet so homogenized, as Houston.
thats fair, montrose is a great example of this, thats a cool very diverse part of houston
Facts!
Corollary: what kinda food ya want? IT’s available within 15 miles.
@@susantownsend8397 hell you could narrow it down to 5miles really
@@1jidiononly if you’re already uptown.
Native Nutmegger here! I moved to VA a few years ago and found you and those other people when I was learning more about the south and I’ve been watching you ever since.
Hubby was a corporate pilot flying a four-engine Jetstar out of Houston. He once took off from Intercontinental Airport to fly to Midland and pick up a passenger to bring him home. I left at the same time to pick up a rug on the other side of town. Hubby was back before I was.
If you thought the traffic wasn't bad, you never drove 610W southbound during rush hour.
Everything else is spot on!
He must have been here on a weekend with no big games or events going on. I'm shocked that road construction didn't hinder him.
BW8 is horrible as well, at least on the NW section
It's all about the timing.
They don't call it the Katy Crawlway for nothing.
As a native Texan and former Houstonian, there were no lies or exaggerations in this video.
Thank God I got away from H town.
You hit the nail on the head w/all of these. As an Arkansas transplant, this place is wild and I love living here.
I wasn’t born in Houston, but I got there as fast as I could! You’re spot on! Thanks for the laughs!
My favorite Texas shaped thing are waffles - so many hotel breakfasts have Texas shaped waffles. Got on a flight once and the flight attendant was showing everyone her Texas shaped waffle - not a picture - but an actual waffle.
If we stay at a hotel with just a normal waffle shape, we are extremely disappointed. We ended up buying one for our home. Lol
I love the pools shaped like Texas! I bought a friend a cheese board shaped like Texas. And they’re in Washington. They love it!
I think the best part about Houston is that no one knows where Houston ends.
I have lived most of my life in the Houston area and you were spot on! I was busting a gut watching this video. You made my day! Mattress Mack trumps all of the trinity though. He is an institution unto himself.
Yea, cause Marvin Zindler passed away already 🤷♂️
Love it!!!! We lived there for 13 years and everything you said is spot on.
Driving through Houston at 5 pm on a Friday pulling a trailer MIGHT change your opinion of how great traffic is in Houston. We'll follow you anywhere Matt.
Yeah, there is usually an exodus from Houston as people head out to camp and such for the weekend.
With Houston it's not so much whether the traffic is good or bad, it's where you're driving. South Loop of Beltway 8? An Indy 500 practice track (at least until you get near 288). West Loop of 610 north of 59? Parking lot, 23 hours a day, and that one remaining hour from about 3:00-4:00 am is still pretty busy.
Still better than Austin
Matt's probably comparing to Atlanta, and may not be considering the distance traveled as a factor. Houston's traffic flow isn't as bad as some cities, but it's very spread out even compared to other US cities, so it typically ranks rather high on Longest Commute lists (but usually not in the top 3).
For example, Houston and Atlanta tend to have similar ranks on total traffic delays aggregated over all drivers annually, but Houston's area is about 5 times that of Atlanta (135 square miles for Atlanta, 670 square miles for Houston). So a Houstonite may only experience a total delay similar to that of an Atlantan, but they experience it spread out over 2-3 times the distance.
Literally my dad did this and traffic waaaaa yikes
As a Houstonian, I can conform most of this is accurate, except for the traffic. I have no idea how you got so lucky with that, nobody even moves for ambulances here.
Yeah. I think they stopped doing that since the beginning of the 1990’s. 🤦🏻♀️
No one gets over because the cars in the next lane will not make a gap. It's been that way since Michigan & Ohio moved here in the 80's.
He Didn't Drive Until 9am In The Morning And Between 2pm And 3:30pm In The Afternoon!!! Any Other Time And Traffic Is A Nightmare!!!
Depends which direction at what time, but it's still way better than Atlanta, LA, NYC, though I Dallas they drive much faster. When it's not rush hour Houston drivers go so so slow, way below the speed limit.
This Dallasite has always heard that Houston has such bad traffic because it lacks crosstown streets. If you want to get across town, you've got to get up on the highway. Dallas, on the other hand, has lots of crosstown streets because Dallas roads were designed by all the big retailers (Titche, Sanger Harris, etc.) and the roads are all designed to get you to a shopping center by the most efficient route. Dallas traffic sucks probably because of all those people trying to get to a store.
Number 11: Houston is the u-turn capitol of the world! In my first month here, I made more u-turns than I have made in my 56 years of driving! Also street signs suck in Houston. The big streets may be visibly marked, but smaller streets not so much. A lot has to do with the signs being swallowed up by overgrown trees and brush, and the city not keeping up.
But I have to admit the beautiful houses and tree lined streets are wonderful.
Well done!👍 My favorite thing about Houston is the food. The catfish at the Nickel Sandwich Grill is legendary!
Fine job you did there; for a foreigner. The good news is that everyone in Houston seems to be a foreigner. The service roads are officially called frontage roads, but everyone in Houston, and only in Houston, calls them "feeders" because they feed the freeways. We do indeed drive farther to get to a "great" HEB. We're getting a new one out here in Katy and it looks like it's going to be huge. I went to a mini Buc-ee's once. I was shocked at how much food and such they had. I was expecting a normal convenience store, but no!. It's basically a scaled down version of a big Buc-ee's. We do have dollar stores, but they're tucked away in neighborhoods.
As a native Texan, frontage roads is correct, but 'access roads' feels more universal. Service roads is right out, though. I do admit I am from the parts of Texas without HEB and Buccee's (bazaar, I know) and have only recently gotten to experience them, so great HEBs and big buccee's are all I know. I guess I'm lucky ;)
@@candybearGaming I remember the first "Frontage Rd." sign I ever saw. (I lived out in Deer Park/Pasadena back then; decades ago.) It seemed to be an odd name to name a road. After a minute or so I had an "aha" moment and understood they were talking about the feeder.
Lufkin native here, we also call them feeders. Probably because the only interstates most Lufkinites have seen are in Houston.
Where in Katy is the new HEB going to be? I’m in Katy, too. Didn’t know they were building a new one!
@@laurasonnier At Morton and Katy-Hockley Cut-off
As a 4th generation Texas and a 2nd generation native Houstonian, I LOVE IT! Good job Matt! I subscribed and clicked like!
As a native Texan and Houston resident for the last 50 years... you are spot on... LOL!! Oh, and the reason there aren't that many Dollar Generals around is that they have a competitor here... Dollar Tree... 🤣🤣
I live in the Texas Hill Country, in one of the 5 fastest growing counties in the COUNTRY, & we are being invaded by Houstonians fleeing the congestion of the big city (making the big cities of Austin & San Antonio even more congested)….. but I grew up in Houston, so I can hardly begrudge them….
My husband says that everybody should go to Houston at least once a year, preferably at Christmastime…. Houston’s Christmas decorations can easily be seen from outer space.
Yes, born & raised in H town. Now I live in Central TX and for the love of God I wish people stop coming here.
To be fair, the vast majority of people moving to the Austin area are from out west. California, Portland, etc.
HA! Yes, I agree, although to be fair, I moved to Bandera from Houston and it's hard to tell others to stop the influx.
Don't get me wrong, I wish they'd come here and spend their tourism money and go home. But since I did the same thing you did, well, it's hard to be too judgy, lol.
The baby Buc-ees are to help you survive the distance to the next full sized Buc-ees.
"Baby Buc-ee's" I like that.
As a native Houstonian, I can confirm this is 100% accurate.
Now THIS is an entertaining video! We take all these things for granted in Houston, and it was funny hearing Matt Mitchell opine on them from the outside, reminding us that it's not like this everywhere. For those of you watching this video who have never been to Houston, everything in this video is pretty much true. Well done!
As a Houstonian I agree with everything 😂 you basically nailed it 😂 most of the Dollar Generals are in the suburbs. Believe me when I tell you, they are everywhere. We have an HEB that is fairly close to us but I will drive 30 minutes in the opposite direction to get to the "good" HEB 😂
For me the "good" HEB is the one with BBQ.
@@MsMaileMay yes! And that's why we make that drive. It's really good BBQ.
We have a dollar tree in Richmond about 5 mins from my house lol lol The HEB is 10mins
The 3 people that have been to Connecticut. You rock Matt!
Glad you visited and got a taste of the level of heat we live with. It’s scorching. I’m between Houston and Galveston and I must say, it’s the best. Close enough to both, but far away enough to avoid the crowds. 😊
I grew up in Houston and now live in the home of Texas A&M. You are absolutely correct about the heat. It is miserable in the summer. And right now it's still summer. I will never move back to Houston for one reason- traffic. I have no idea how you got off so lucky while you were there, but I'm thankful you had a very uncharacteristic experience. It used to take me an hour to an hour and a half to get to work in Houston, when it should have taken 20 minutes for the distance. Learning to drive in Houston turns you into a very aware defensive driver, though!
I'm so glad you're independent now. Your content is so free for us to consume and we owe you a debt of entertainment gratitude.
I miss the "gang"!
Applause 👏🏻 it’s very true.
(And I love the ppl on It’sAST, too)
@@eb4600 I ended up unsubscribing from IAST. They're just not funny anymore. I wouldn't say it's definitely because Matt left; they're just... not funny.
My daughters calls a little Buc-ee’s a “Buc-aroo”. It’s delightful.
From “Houston”, you are 💯 correct! Glad you came!
This is outstanding! Perfect description of Houston!
Lived in Houston my entire life, glad you put some respect on Mack’s name. Lol
You’re 100% spot on for each subject bro. Glad you enjoyed your visit but come back in January or February it’s tolerable then.
Mattress Mack is #1! Then the Astros. You mentioned the train driver, but no real mention of the Astros! 15 years ago, that would’ve been OK, but not after two World Series wins! Go ‘Stros! And the best thing about Houston is it’s only about an hour to an hour and a half from Galveston.
When we lived in the Houston area, we always parked where there was a tree...not the closest parking place to the store. We used potholders to open car doirs and pixk up seat belt buckles thar could double as branding irons. Leaving a shop when you go to open the door, you hold your breath and shut your eyes like you would for a hot oven.
My truck has remote start and heated and cooled seats. It makes life here so much bearable; especially this year.
😂 This reminds me of living in the Phoenix, AZ area! Man those seat buckles were HOT!
This is also why people don't get leather interiors here. If you smell bacon after you get into your car, it's probably you cooking on the leather seats.
I am a native Texan and moved from DFW to Houston five years ago. I love Buc-ee’s. The Chopped Beef’s sandwiches so good. FYI: There is a small Buc-ee’s in Sugarland.
Most of the little Buc-ees are south of Houston where Buc-ees got its start in the Freeport/Lake Jackson area. For many years Buc-ees were just normal sized convenience stores noted for cheap gas, clean restrooms and cheerful checkers almost exclusively located in Brazoria county (Houston is Harris county).
Houston transplant from Dallas here, everything you said about Houston is true! The service roads or “feeder” roads as they call them here are terrifying. If your car has “sport” driving mode, I highly recommend you use it to pull out of Chilis with. 😂😂😂
Everythings bigger in TEXAS Matt, it's not just something we made up 😂😂
I'm in Houston visiting this week. It has been in the low to mid 70's. Wonderful weather.
Good and accurate rundown. I've enjoyed the SEC Roll Call videos and now this, time to subscribe!
My mom would always tell me that if the place I wanted to go to was on the Southside of Houston we couldn't go because it will be 2 hours there and 2 hours back .
You made me laugh out loud. And I'm in school, as I'm teaching school. So thanks for that. My kids are like, 'What's Mr. Taylor chuckling about?' ME: Oh, just Matt. Keep up the good work, my friend. And y'all come back, you hear!
Spot on! Great analysis and depiction my man.
You have been!!!I can tell!!! And the Blue Bell Creamery is spectacular.
Wish I'd known you were visiting. I'm a South Georgian living here via a couple stops. The mystery of the mini-Buc'ees is those were the original size until they decided you could make a gas station a destination more fun than a theme park by following one simple rule: Give people clean restrooms and they will come. When you go down the interstates you'll see signs for Buc'ees 80 miles away. I think they have zoned in on the distance a family will travel from one Buc'ees before needing to stop and build another store at that point. And here the service roads are called frontage roads and speed limit is slightly lower than the main lanes. As for speed limits on major roads you can pretty much multiply posted by 1.5 to get the real speed. On 290 out of Houston you'll be going 75 in a posted 65 and find yourself the "slow old guy."
There's a billboard somewhere on I-44 I believe in southern Missouri that tells you there's a Buc-ee's ~450 miles away in Tennessee
Well said. As a lifelong Houstonian I can confirm being the slow grandpa (I’m 40ish) while still being more than 10 over the posted limit. And the cars passing aren’t moving past at a gentle rate - sometimes it’s so fast their air-wake gives your car a little kiss. Used to be speed traps everywhere (like 10+ years ago) but now I only see them on the Beltway.
There's a sign in Orange just as you cross Sabine Pass. It's for the Katy location (something like over 100 miles away).
And what does it say on the billboard? "You can hold it."
There's a sign just east of Pensacola, FL i believe i know its in the far west part of Florida for the BUCCEES in Baytown just east of Houston and it's "you can hold it" then like 700 miles it's amazing
@@fearlessleader3489 Oh, that's funny. I can see someone around Biloxy Mississippi who is in visual pain and squirming in the passenger seat.
Driver: "You know, I can pull up to this gas station up the road so you can go pee."
Passenger: "Absolutely not. I'm going to go at Bucees in Baytown. I've been holding it since Tallahassee. I can hold it until Baytown."
Fun facts: 1) If you ever have a reason to be in downtown Houston, you can get around without exposing yourself to the boiling rain and flaming air by using the most extensive urban pedestrian tunnel network in the USA.
2) All (only a slight exaggeration) Houston area restaurants not owned by Pappas Bros are owned by Landry's, which also owns the Kemah Boardwalk, Galveston Pleasure Pier, several hotels, and Mitchell's (!!!) Steakhouse.
Very accurate on the Landry's.
houston is the only place ive been to that somehow water is both less wet feeling and more hot than the air.
I read an article about your tunnel system a couple of years ago but have never been there. Are there still time restrictions when you can go see them?
@@carolemerle9995 They aren't "my" tunnels -- I live near Austin. According to the Houston government website, they're open from 6:00 AM to 6:00 PM on weekdays. There are several parking garages connected to the system. I usually park in the one on Louisiana Street when I travel to downtown Houston for business. Alternatively, I park at the Fannin South Metrorail station and take the train downtown. I've also stayed at the Hyatt and taken the elevator to the tunnel level.
It's similar to the network in Crystal City, Virginia, with retail and restaurants but much more spread out (about 6 miles of tunnels) and also connected to a downtown mall.
And the Rockets
We lived there forn5 years- I'm shocked that you are so spot on after a single visit! Ima Hogg's mansion was my absolute favorite place to visit- you'll have to go back!
I grew up in the Houston area! And you are spot on about EVERYTHING, especially the heat!😂
Happy you enjoyed your time in Brenham at the Blue Bell factory! If you ever go again, you need to go in March when the bluebonnets are blooming; it's a beautiful time of year!
Oh, the accuracy. Houston is an hour away from Houston. But the word you're looking for is "feeder." Not "service road." Not just Dollar General - we have a shocking shortage of Waffle Houses too. That's why we never know when to evacuate from a hurricane.
As someone who grew up in the Brazoria County area (Where Buc-ees Originated), the first stores were smaller, like the Alvin, Pearland, Lake Jackson, League City Stores. I remember they first became popular because they were selling way cheaper gas than everyone, so naturally everybody was flocking to them. Word then got out about the bathrooms, and then they took off super fast to what they are now. I'm not really sure they do small stores anymore, but you'll find them mainly in the Brazoria/Galveston county area if I had to guess.
I saw a smaller Buc-ees in Freeport recently on the way to the beach 🤔
Exactly, it's one of the First Buc-ees made. Freeport is literally like 5 minutes from the Original Buc-ees.@@oeakyea
we live outside Houston and this is 100000000% spot on. SO WELL DONE!!
As a Houstonian, this is a million percent accurate. 10/10, no notes. 🤣🤣❤️❤️❤️
I had to describe Tokyo to a fellow native Texan and I said “15 Houstons in size and somehow 3 Houstons in humidity”
I no longer have any desire to go to Tokyo. Killed all desire. My husband is out too. One place to visit scratched off the list.
But the difference is that you don't have to typically travel more than 15 minutes ON FOOT, to find what you need. Houston on the other hand is 15 minutes by car, and that's if you live within 5 miles of whatever it is you need. I also did not think Tokyo was any more humid than Houston, and was definitely not as hot while I was living there (usually only got to about 85 to 90 F on a "hot" day for the 4 years I was there), but I was also always outside during the Houston summers, so maybe I was just very acclimated to it.
Never heard of Tokyo being humid… maybe it’s all the concrete?
That sounds awful 😂
Matt, this was awesome and I love your stuff!
As a Mitchell who lives just outside of Houston, welcome! A few quick notes:
--It's an ongoing joke that Houston is over an hour away from Houston. This is all true. Driving from my suburb on the southern side of town to my folk's house on the NW side takes more than 30 minutes on a Saturday morning with NO traffic.
--The "service roads" in Houston are called "feeders." Also, every major highway in town has at least 2 names; it's how we distinguish who's local.
--Dollar Generals are ALL OVER the suburbs. You just stayed in the fancy parts of town.
--The various Buc-ee's sizes: There's regular (enormous) locations, the smaller versions that are still built originally as Buc-ee's (I call them "baby Buc-ee's") and then the locations where they took over other gas stations and retro-fitted the Buc-ee's brand ("fetal Buc-ee's").
--Come back sometime!
This has been a very hot summer. It has finely cooled down to a low of 95° for the month of September.
Born and raised in Houston and I can confirm everything he said is spot on! Thanks for visiting my home town Matt!
Awwwwww!!! Thank you for your kind words!
You are so right about HEB locations and yes there are smaller "convenience store" sized Buc-ees.
"The three people who have been to Connecticut" 😂
Born and raised here. I cannot wrap my mind around a city being as big as my state especially because I don't consider Connecticut to be small.
There are twice as many people in the Houston metro area than live in the state of Connecticut...
I live in Austin and I love to tell people I can drive one direction for 10 hours and still not be out of Texas.
When we lived in Shoreacres....between Houston and the gulf...we could drive 90 miles an hour for an hour and a half and just bearly be at the city limit on our way to San Antonio. Yeah, it was that fast.
@@Mort88 I can drive to Canada and back in 10 hours from my house. Seriously.
People in other states think those in CT are goofy for complaining about how far it is to have to drive somewhere. You can cover the whole state in a couple of hours. Still, it's bigger than Rhode Island, where people pack a lunch to drive more than half an hour, if you can convince them to drive that far at all.
I have a love/hate relationship with the Houston metro area that I grew up in. Family, friends, Texans, Astros, Rockets, Buc-ees, Shipley's, BBQ, Tex-Mex, Seafood and Cajun...love. Traffic, heat, concrete and oh yeah more construction to destroy the few trees we have...hate. Don't forget about our Hurricanes either Matt. 😉
Also don't forget that due to it being unincorporated and having no zoning laws, home owners have zero rights. It's the world's largest trailer park.
The constant destruction of the land just so more places can be built drives me nuts. You can literally drive right by an empty strip center and there is a new one being built.
@@dansaunders6761 no zoning is mostly a good thing, believe it or not.
@@daintycaked I live in it and 100% disagree.
Tell me why you think it is good.
@@daintycaked I am serious in that I want to hear why you think it is good. I will explain more why I think it is not.
Home owners rights: because there is no zoning, the laws favor business owners. Home owners are forced to solely rely on HOAs to "keep the peace ". HOAs are unable to do so because they lack the authority and ability to police the rules. They can write letters and even issue fines but only if you, the home owner, can prove an infraction. On infractions, most are designed to protect home values and not keep the peace. Protecting home values is well and good but does nothing for your privacy and right to live peaceably.
Even if you get into a neighborhood with an active HOA with restrictions that maximize peace, ten feet outside your neighborhood it's the wild, wild west. Of course the flipside of an active HOA is their tendency towards power trips. They can make your life hell simply out of spite and you have no recourse because they answer to no one.
A well zoned and policed city does not have these problems.
I moved here to a subburb recently and love it! Late sept to dec is nightly firepit season its so nice by the lake.
Hey Matt! Native Houstonian here.....Loved this! You are so spot on after 64 consecutive 100° days this summer it did feel like we were only 3 miles from the sun! Just one correction, you can fit Rhode Island in Houston/Harris County. Connecticut would only fit if you Photoshop it😅 Keep the laughs coming!❤
Houstonian here. Can confirm all these things.
I have lived in houston my whole life and I can say he got it exactly right.
Welcome to out little village on the bayou. We have folks from all over the world. Work never stops. You can get almost anything you can think of 24/7. Thanks for the great review
Great & funny, Matt. I hope you had a nice visit. Only additions I’d make is Johnson Space Center is here (we’re called space city) and we are soooooo diverse. Makes for interesting friendships and excellent restaurants!