Ten Questions to Ask BEFORE You Choose a Trauma Therapist

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  • čas přidán 4. 01. 2023
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    Anyone can SAY they are "trauma informed." But that doesn't mean they're aware of current research and best practices in the treatment of trauma. To help you find a knowledgable practitioner who is a fit for YOU, I've prepared this list of 10 qualities that are important in a trauma therapist; use this list to design the questions YOU'LL ask when you interview prospective counselors to determine if their services can truly help you heal symptoms of trauma.
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Komentáře • 122

  • @jsmith7240
    @jsmith7240 Před rokem +17

    Thanks Anna, I like the ideas on sovereignty over ourselves. It's like Internal and External locus of control where a good therapist encourages your internal /sovereignty over always having to defer to the old type of attitude that they always know best and therefore you arent encouraged to be part of your solution. That really speaks to me, we give all our power away with drs etc who don't know us and only have one take on things.

  • @leamubiu
    @leamubiu Před rokem +45

    5:07 when you do meet with a therapist you still have to ask the right questions
    1. 5:45 They project honesty and confidence; not arrogant or overconfident. Knowledgeable and competent, yet open-minded, willing to learn new things.
    2. 7:28 Up-to-date and broad knowledge. Do your research too.
    3. 8:52 Check where their knowledge comes from; any personal experience? Do you feel comfortable with them?
    4. 9:42 Check whether they can help with tools for immediate relief, not just offering platitudes and setting vague expectations.
    5. 10:28 Common sense
    6. 10:55 Are they goal-oriented, or story-oriented?
    7. 11:26 Tools outside talking about trauma.
    8. 12:02 Structured sessions
    9. 12:33 Aware of dysregulation
    10. 12:46 About you, not labels.
    11. 12:59 Curious and respectful, not dismissive.

  • @joan.nao1246
    @joan.nao1246 Před rokem +44

    Earning a certificate/degree only makes them a therapist on paper, not a healed person to help others heal. Too many haven't worked enough on their own stuff & are still quite unhealthy. Really unfortunate how they can further damage those seeking their help, or just waste time/money.

    • @sophiafaith
      @sophiafaith Před rokem +2

      Maybe it’s up to us to change the industry-
      After we’ve engaged with our own healing

    • @bridaw8557
      @bridaw8557 Před rokem +3

      Also, they don’t have lived experience of this and healed themselves like some people without the legal credentials. Some of these “professionals” repeat the imbalance of power in the original trauma and get frustrated by a “patient” who won’t do things their way. Make sure you are assertive and direct your own journey with any helper or mentor. We know ourselves better than anyone but often our inner wise person who helped us survive gets pushed down looking for an authority figure who we put all our hopes in again. Trust yourself

    • @tashmoobabe8704
      @tashmoobabe8704 Před rokem

      @@bridaw8557 Yessss.

    • @Arialexis98
      @Arialexis98 Před 4 měsíci

      I don’t think anyone 100% heals from things that happened. However we learn to live with them. A good therapist will keep themselves out of someone else’s healing and apply theories and helpful information.

  • @CsaW4rri0r
    @CsaW4rri0r Před rokem +20

    I look for humbleness in a therapist; someone who dresses casual and drives a Ford Taurus instead of a $100,000 Mercedes.
    I also look for someone who has personal experience, through themselves or another, with suffering from abuse and/or mental illness.
    Those types of people make the best therapists.

  • @Paul1239193
    @Paul1239193 Před rokem +24

    For my CPTSD a (good) somatic therapist is what is (finally) helping. In fact I feel like my other therapists over the years should have known this would be the case not not just given me a lot of expensive BS.

  • @altheeaself76
    @altheeaself76 Před rokem +10

    In my experience a lot of therapist are still bound by state laws and their licensed to practice only in the state they are licensed. ( I am in Virginia USA but I travel out of the country and the therapists in my area that I wanted to be able to see in person are not able to talk to me when I go out of VA) you can do virtual sessions only if you are physically in their state; if you go out of town they cannot help you virtually or they lose their license)

  • @sophiafaith
    @sophiafaith Před rokem +3

    I’m reading these comments, and coming to terms with the fact that my last therapist on BetterHelp wasn’t as good as I have been telling myself. He did say he was my friend, and he did make sexual comments that made me uncomfortable. He even took my call from his bedroom once.
    I’m so accustomed to stuffing that shit to the back of what I think is really important at the time, and I am just now seeing the truth of his very poor boundaries. That being said, this was my first male therapist since the 90s, when I had an older male psychiatrist who made me feel safe. But he prescribed the wrong meds and I don’t remember (my memory is awful) ever reporting my self-harming behaviors because of my shame around them. Turns out that medication was not right for me, and I remained on it well into this century!
    I’ve had many therapists, many of whom I just used as sounding boards so I could talk freely about what I was dealing with in my (awful) relationships. One Saint directed me out of her office on the first visit and to an EMDR practitioner. She wasn’t terribly effective, but the actual EMDR “exercises “ were very helpful so get me less re-traumatized ever time I spoke about the past.
    Therapy is exhausting. The Daily Practice is easier and healthier and a LOT cheaper! I just wish more 12-step meetings met in person these days, as I’d go back to that modality in a heartbeat.

  • @bumblebee_mrs
    @bumblebee_mrs Před rokem +13

    I am in my 40's and still haven't found any help. I am so alone and lonely.

    • @SummerOf1987
      @SummerOf1987 Před rokem +3

    • @CrappyChildhoodFairy
      @CrappyChildhoodFairy  Před rokem +1

      We are glad you are in this community! Feel free to check out our membership, we have a lot of support there and daily meet ups :)
      bit.ly/CCF-Membership
      -Cara@TeamFairy

    • @zambination11
      @zambination11 Před rokem +1

      Hi Bumble Bee! Let me make a suggestion that works for me the last three years. You could start working out in a gym and also get involved into a hiking team!

    • @andrearaven6307
      @andrearaven6307 Před rokem +1

      @Bumble Bee I'm so sorry, please know you are not alone here. This is a wonderful place for help.

    • @bumblebee_mrs
      @bumblebee_mrs Před rokem

      @Richard Sanderson Thank you, I hope you do too.

  • @stevec404
    @stevec404 Před rokem +22

    Time has at least partially come to the rescue for childhood trauma sufferers. Back in the mid 50's no one had a clue that a child's acting out or other types of social dysregulation was anything but 'growing pains'. Parents had no clue; except that something was not right. As a teenager, my parents suspected this and took me to a renown psychiatrist. "Oh, he's fine...just teenage growing pains." Wrong! Years later, once for two years, then once for five, I literally wasted tens of thousands of dollars of my own money desperate to find answers to a life not fully lived. Then around the age of fifty, sitting at my computer, 'something' made me ask myself a question: could staying back a grade around the age of seven have taken me off of my 'path'?
    I did an online search and broke down into a torrent of tears. The then current view of what was called childhood trauma put me square onto dozens of respected sites, with their studies a mirror of my experiences. I finally had a starting point for healing. Talk therapy never asked the one most basic question: what was my belief system? When I bravely asked myself that question, the answer revealed a broken and isolated and tortured mindset.
    It is now two decades since my epiphany moment. My self-guided healing has me on a good path. Your channel has been very helpful to me; and shown me that one need not uncover every hidden aspect of one's past trauma in order to be on a better path today. Yet I know that, for me, the healing process could not start until I at least understood the root cause of my dysfunctions.

    • @game_4_growth
      @game_4_growth Před rokem +6

      @stevec404 - deep gratitude for this comment 🙏 "the one most basic question: what was my belief system?" - game changer. Thank you & much love to you.

    • @stevec404
      @stevec404 Před rokem +4

      @@game_4_growth - I appreciate your comment...and you!

    • @game_4_growth
      @game_4_growth Před rokem +2

      @@stevec404 🙏

    • @lizvtaz6
      @lizvtaz6 Před rokem +4

      I am from Russia and back in the 2000s in Russia (my teenage years) therapy was considered... how should I put it... "not cool". It was commonly assumed that nobody who is somewhat able to function in a society should ever go to therapy because: 1.Therapists only have tools to help people that are absolutery nuts. 2. The stigma of going to therapy is too much for any adequate person to bear. As a teenager I suffered from a 3 years long serious depression and not only did it never occur to me that I can get help with it, but I also know that if I did want to go to therapy to get help my family would have been really against it. A lot of Russians my age still look down on therapists. The sad thing about my family is, there were a lot of abusive people in my family. My grandfather however was very loving and supportive towards me. And I know for sure that the very person who would have been most opposed to the idea of me going to therapy would be him. He was born in 1932 and I guess in his time someone going to therapy meant stigma for life. Myself I only went to therapy a couples of times and most of all I rememeber the SHAME that I felt. I was sitting there SHAKING. Later I was able to achieve good results by deliginty doing exercises from some good self-help courses for CPTSD.

    • @stevec404
      @stevec404 Před rokem +1

      @@lizvtaz6 - Glad to hear of your success!

  • @davespark10
    @davespark10 Před rokem +6

    I got a 3hr deep tissue massage from a chinese lady, she dug her heels into my back omg God bless that woman, but anyway my point is we carry so much tension and stress in our bodies, yesterday was the first time ever i could sleep so freely without pain and i felt OLD OLD stressful memories dissolvimg away and i felt like a new person 🙏👍... i fell asleep listening to music and i could take it in without being bitter or resentful about something... not many people can endure the discomfort of deep tissue, but if you can i say you should go get one ! If you do it, have water near you in case you feel nauseous, if theyre doing their job right you should feel nauseous lol and take deep breaths !or else youll see stars nad be lighr headed.
    But seriously, half of my bad thoughts prior to this i know came from discomfort and body pain...

  • @santanacaipirinha9536
    @santanacaipirinha9536 Před rokem +21

    At this point I'd settle for just one of the points on this checklist. I've been insulted, belittled, misdiagnosed, cast aside and ignored by several therapists over the past decade. The one I'm with now (through my GP) shows me cartoons about the inner critic, told me the difference between us is that she deals with her life problems better because she doesn't have my "negative mindset" and was flabbergasted that I even asked if they knew of other treatments in the trauma field that I could consider. Said that was up to me to investigate and they were way too busy. It really is a minefield and you have to have the energy to keep looking, which is exactly the problem for people with CPTSD. Dysregulation (another thing my current therapist is unfamiliar with) is so draining, you usually need all the energy you can muster just to function through the day. There's not enough left for this Russian roulette of loons. I tried explaining the struggle with dysregulation and how tired I am from trying to get things done, but still failing. They said I just needed a kick in the butt and that was that.
    The worst part is, the more therapists you try, the higher the chance the next one will say that you must be the problem if nothing seems to work. They're usually terrible at introspection themselves, so if their approach isn't working, it's very easy to blame it on you just being unwilling and untreatable when you just haven't found the right treatment for you yet. Be careful with this, as for some people who are already vulnerable this can be a very hard hit.

  • @DamePerdita
    @DamePerdita Před rokem +11

    Worst thing a “therapist” ever told me: “well, a *normal* person wouldn’t have been affected by that.”

    • @CC-xn5xi
      @CC-xn5xi Před rokem +2

      Wow. So false. What's normal?

    • @MagdalenaM71
      @MagdalenaM71 Před rokem +2

      Oh no !!! 😱
      It is what Anna always repeats to us. We ARE normal people, we are intelligent, great individuals we just went through tough sometimes unimaginable things. I am with you there 🤩

    • @DamePerdita
      @DamePerdita Před rokem +2

      @@CC-xn5xi in context, she was telling me that I only felt I had been traumatised because I’m autistic, *not* because there were validly problematic experiences.

    • @jessiedestro7671
      @jessiedestro7671 Před rokem

      @@DamePerdita That's even worse

    • @CC-xn5xi
      @CC-xn5xi Před rokem

      @@DamePerdita Still.

  • @susie5254
    @susie5254 Před rokem +6

    A good start is to ask whether they know what CPTSD and HSP are. If they look at you like a deer in the headlights, even if they are a trauma "specialist", that's not a good sign. Unfortunately, many therapists charge more for the first session claiming it's for taking a history so even when they haven't heard of CPTSD, there's a cost. But better to be out one session then to be invested in therapy that could make things worse instead of better because they don't have a clue about CPTSD.

  • @matchagirl7
    @matchagirl7 Před rokem +10

    THANK YOU!! I am coming to the realization that I need to break up with my therapist because i do not see myself maximizing my healing with her any longer. This video is like confirmation that I’m making the right decision. You’re the best Crappy Fairy❤️❤️❤️

  • @tomtbi
    @tomtbi Před rokem +3

    I find that if I talk about the hurts too much I get sick and tired of it... It can promote flashbacks too...

  • @designchik
    @designchik Před rokem +11

    Great video, Anna! For me, psychotherapy helped with some things, although I’ll skip elaborating on the first psychologist who told me she could understand why I felt as though people didn’t like me because she didn’t when she first met me.😖
    My other therapists were better, thankfully, and it did feel good to be validated. But I never actually GOT better or improved my life much. I kept making the same mistakes, and depression and despair were my constant companions.
    After 20 years, I was finally diagnosed with BPD and did DBT and CBT for that. I improved but still felt empty and lost much of the time. Now I find out that CPTSD can be misdiagnosed as BPD and has many of the same symptoms, particularly emotional dysregulation. I feel as though I have found my tribe here with you, along with practical tools that give me hope I can heal. ❤️❤️❤️

  • @histiming144
    @histiming144 Před rokem +4

    The best therapists are ones who don't have degrees, just life experiences.

  • @vmm44
    @vmm44 Před rokem +3

    It's just heartbreaking to me. So many of us in the same boat and suffering every day. We need the strength and courage to not give up on healing. Thank-you Anna .

  • @DamePerdita
    @DamePerdita Před rokem +12

    Can’t wait to listen to this. I feel utterly crippled in life because of issues from my mother’s parenting, and have struggled with finding a therapist who is willing to talk about causes and solutions, not just my feelings of the moment.

    • @nancybartley4610
      @nancybartley4610 Před rokem +2

      When did you become aware of your mom's role?

    • @valwest8672
      @valwest8672 Před rokem +1

      Patrick tehan. And Tim fletcher

    • @CrappyChildhoodFairy
      @CrappyChildhoodFairy  Před rokem +1

      I hope it's helpful to you!
      -Cara@TeamFairy

    • @DamePerdita
      @DamePerdita Před rokem

      @@CrappyChildhoodFairy It was! I’m looking forward to using these tools when I connect with the counselling center where I’m living now. It makes a big difference to have a clear list like this and not have to marshal scattered thoughts in the moment.

  • @dlight2669
    @dlight2669 Před rokem +2

    My experience with a therapist and me trying to deal with trauma when it increases my anxiety when it stresses me out when it's starting to affect my body... tensing things up or intrusive thoughts ... distracting me.. this therapist was good she introduced several techniques to deal with this such as breathing exercises, bring me back into the present exercises, and other things I can apply in my life

  • @janedavis1369
    @janedavis1369 Před rokem +2

    I guess I feel relieved about seeing how many people have seen therapists that did not work out over a long period of time. I am not the only one with a problem and it is sad because you can spend so much money. I am 62 and have never found the right therapists. I even had one who traumatized me greatly. That was my last one. At this point I will work with stuff on my own, look at videos, try alanoon. One parent alcoholic, the other narcissist.

  • @bernsky
    @bernsky Před rokem +4

    excellent video. just the few at the end: therapy without trauma stories, having a plan and helping you stick, and will they notice your dysregulation! Insaw a therapist three times and after the second she triggered my dysregulation while demanding i speak in a certain way while the reason i was seeing her was a head injury that caused cognitive and communication issues! i didnt have control yet, i hadnt healed enough! wish i had stopped after the second because the third was a shit show.

  • @tomtbi
    @tomtbi Před rokem +1

    I've been through several therapists until I found my current therapist that has been a good fit for me...

  • @lafragolastrana
    @lafragolastrana Před rokem +9

    had a terrible experience both times i tried to use Betterhelp, they cancelled my appointment on me, lectured me for being a few minutes late and told me I should only ever use in-person therapy. do not use them, horrible and invalidating and definitely not trauma-informed.

    • @_Edition-qx9hf
      @_Edition-qx9hf Před rokem +7

      My sister tried Betterhelp too and was extremely disappointed. It was a waste of hope and money unfortunately.

    • @SummerOf1987
      @SummerOf1987 Před rokem

      Oh wow

    • @annetricot2609
      @annetricot2609 Před rokem +2

      So disappointing. I finally thought I had found a solution. 😢

    • @VioletEmerald
      @VioletEmerald Před rokem +2

      Better Help super underpays therapists so mostly the therapists on there are so desperate for a therapy job because no one else will hire them - because they are really bad at their job. They're basically making minimum wage. You have to be really lucky (or really patient and to through a ton of bad ones first) to find the rare therapists on there who can actually help you and are good at what they do.
      I highly recommend virtual therapy just elsewhere, not through better help.

    • @lafragolastrana
      @lafragolastrana Před rokem +2

      Yeah, I am surprised Anna recommended them after talking about all her terrible therapy experiences, but they are a sure way to make people give up on therapy/ seeking help. But she gets kickback$ from them.

  • @purplefireweed
    @purplefireweed Před rokem +6

    THANK YOU for this. You've always been honest that therapy wasn't the route for optimal healing for you. Really appreciate that you can honor it as helpful for others and this guide really does touch on so many points that are crucial for breaking through the discouragement of finding the right fit.

  • @sophiafaith
    @sophiafaith Před rokem

    9:58 my mother gave me a book of platitudes in stick-figure cartons when I was a teenager graduating from high school. I DETEST platitudes, and hate myself when I hear them come out of my mouth unconsciously

  • @pheona1164
    @pheona1164 Před rokem +3

    Thank you for this video. Recently, I spent 7 years with a therapist who admitted to running into a roadblock when it came to my trauma. I interviewed him for the job of my therapist before hand and I was assured his trauma training was extensive. Eventually, he said that we could still meet for social anxiety issues.... which stem from trauma. 😒 7 yrs. Many things you say resonates with me, but at one point you said that no matter how informed they are, each experience is different. I guess he thought my trauma was going to be easy.

  • @astralydial7533
    @astralydial7533 Před rokem +6

    I just found an amazing place in Denmark (I'm danish) and I got have MixedPD, dissociative and PTSD - they're taking so great care of me. I'm still in the beginning stages, with these 'new disorders'. ✨thank you ✨ for this video, I feel better equipped and safer, I didn't think that was possible

    • @lizvtaz6
      @lizvtaz6 Před rokem +1

      Maybe it's a little intrusive (sorry for that) but what is the place called?

    • @astralydial7533
      @astralydial7533 Před rokem +2

      @@lizvtaz6 It's in something called Jylland - er du dansk?

    • @lizvtaz6
      @lizvtaz6 Před rokem +1

      @@astralydial7533 Nei, jeg er en russer som har norsk pass og har bodd i Norge for en stund. Men jeg kjenner noen danske som kanksje trenger hjelp (de har de samme symptomene som jeg i hvert fall). Thank you.

    • @astralydial7533
      @astralydial7533 Před rokem +1

      @@lizvtaz6 it's a long visitation. They have to live in the region, and been visitated by their doctor, before getting an opening talk [?] to the psychiatric center
      It's in Silkeborg - jeg kender ikke dine udfordringer, men jeg ønsker du passer godt på dig selv 🤍
      "Don't wait for a change to breath. Change the way you breath"
      Hope I was helpful 🙏🏾
      [If you have anymore questions, please ask, we can also take this private. But i really hope it will help 🙏🏾)

    • @lizvtaz6
      @lizvtaz6 Před rokem +1

      @@astralydial7533 I like måte. Thank you, it was definitely helpfull.

  • @77Tadams
    @77Tadams Před rokem +2

    What sucks is that I have had difficult times holding jobs and I have held low paying jobs due to my anxiety issues. Then I couldn’t afford it. Guess what? People with trauma actually have issues that affect them $$$$ it seems like a rich man’s game. But that is water under the bridge.

  • @sunnyadams5842
    @sunnyadams5842 Před rokem +1

    Thanks for saying you just don't know about whatever. Just struck me as so Real!
    I'm one of those people. Doing it myself, now, after 35 years of therapy that only diagnosed me wrong as Bipolar, which was surely convenient fory parents ( and all their idea, but they cleverly made it seem like an admission from me that I was the problem after all and all my idea.
    I overheard them, many times, telling their friends I was bailing out under a label. Always looking to blame someone else. Bull!) with you and Lisa A Romano and Jerry Wise, primarily. Lotsa yoga and hours of meditation, walks, talks with my kitties....It's really just clicked. Once I learned about the traps of external validation, permission seeking and approval, and polyvagal exercises, I felt I was home free.
    I had Sooo many therapists who bashed me for having an obsession with my parents...it was so nice to find out that there was a really good reason I felt like they were trying to let me die. They were.
    Unhealed therapists I ended up Therapizing. Ng

    • @sophiafaith
      @sophiafaith Před rokem +1

      That sounds awful, so glad you’re here in our group now

    • @sunnyadams5842
      @sunnyadams5842 Před rokem

      @@sophiafaith thanks. Pretty not nice. It's ALMOST funny now. almost...

  • @wr4050
    @wr4050 Před rokem +1

    I love ur work. Never stop. Havent listened yet, but with CPSTD, PTSD, anxiety, depression, sleep disorder, INFJ, old soul, earth angel, empath issues and my constant life struggles from childhood, early years of rejection and abandonment, anger, rage, suicidal issues, i always wondered what the point was in repeating my story to a therapist or psychiatrist if they couldn't solve me. Surely i had thought of everything allready. Being highly intelligent and sensitive, off cause I knew and understood and researched my trauma, healing, and personality issues and why I still walk alone. Had i not been reborn and saved in Christ, i would have left this ugly world long ago. But i understand my purpouse here. That its painful and hazardous and dangerous and made me dangerous and dark ,but light with love and compassion in contrast, is true. Id much rather listen to u and channels understanding who i am because of who they are... and u are. We all speak from the same experiences and level, whilst the rest of the world refuses to get us. So why waste your time and energy on trying for them to understand and accept me unconditionally? Nah, that's been over long long ago and continues every day....thank you lovely Fiary😘❤

  • @22misx
    @22misx Před rokem +1

    Well I was on a "talk therapy" it was a 💩 and you know what? Therapist knew I am getting worse and worse. She even told me that we can't meet on Friday 4 pm because it's too much for her. She offered me Mondays at 7 am. I agreed. My husband made changes in his work schedule just to babysit our baby so I can go to therapy. When I first called this therapist I said that I only can visit her after 4 pm because I have nobody to help me with kids. Guess what? After 3 months she started telling me that Monday 7 am is too early for her because I have sooo many traumatic stories she can't handle it that early.
    What is more she changed her mind and started telling me that my parents were abusing me: physically, sexually, mentally, beating me like a piece of 💩 because they loved me and they didn't to this intentionally. I was pregnant 3rd time but this was second child on the way - to make things worse I miscarried like a year before starting therapy. She knew all of that and when I was sharing my traumas she was telling me things to make me feel worse and worse without blinking her eye.
    I even have to pay for visits I didnt attend because day before therapy I woke up with temperature (my son started kindergarden and I was sick very often). guess what...
    I felt even worse. I wanted to kill myself but I didnt because I loved my babies (both - in belly and outside) so much.
    one day I said no f... way. this was the day I found your channel... I watched 3 videos and they gave me more than 4 months of therapy with THAT woman.
    but I felt I need help so I found other therapist...
    she just had a kid with the same age as mine.
    she was capable of hearing my stories
    she is so helpful. I am in CBT therapy (I have no idea how it is called in english - learning new behaviours and handling with toxic family members).
    I am heard, understood. we are even layghing at those sessions.
    she is just giving me the tools to cope with flashbacks and strong emotions that pop up suddenly... all people with CPTSD know.
    but all in all I think I got lucky. there are so many therapists interested only in getting more money...

  • @fairdose
    @fairdose Před rokem +8

    I went to a therapist who specialized in EMDR therapy for my trauma and he turned out to be a real creep. When I Googled, "Signs you have a bad therapist" he was guilty of like 85% of the characteristics. I fired him and went looking for another therapist and found an older woman, a feminist with a PhD who specialized in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and it turned out it was perfect for what I needed, an educated, professional female with years of experience behind her.

  • @russellsreflection
    @russellsreflection Před rokem +2

    Very useful.

  • @mtfine
    @mtfine Před rokem +2

    Very spot on.

  • @inacuro9385
    @inacuro9385 Před 7 měsíci

    Today I went to my psychiatrist and told him that I wanted to stop medication. He got very defensive and ironic when I told him that I want to stop the medication after seven years because I believe that I am too young to take medication all my life I am 33 years old by the way. He said a lot of BS as always and got me upset but I didnt let him get away and disagreed openly when I didnt like something. After I stop the medication I am done with him.

  • @ACEsMatter
    @ACEsMatter Před rokem +3

    You rock ❤️

  • @jeromenelson4093
    @jeromenelson4093 Před 9 měsíci

    Thank you for making the videos you make, they help me make some headway I'm very lucky to have a psychotherapist who picked up on my symptoms before I was even aware of them/even ready to understand them. Your videos are a great compliment to the sessions we have! So thanks again!!!

  • @tomtbi
    @tomtbi Před rokem

    I've also found support groups helpful as well.. I help run a support group for Traumatic Brain Injury(TBI) and I'm going to begin attending an anger management support group later this month..

  • @tomtbi
    @tomtbi Před rokem

    I think it's good to have a therapist that is either in therapy or has been in therapy because they can relate to your issues because they have experienced similar issues themselves .( If this makes any sense??).

  • @reignofaragon6890
    @reignofaragon6890 Před rokem +2

    Thankyou

  • @musings2022
    @musings2022 Před rokem +1

    The only one I trust is God. I've had terrible therapists. One cried every session and eventually yelled at me that all of my feelings were "self-indulgent bullshit".... another tried to destroy my faith in God... another conspired to make me give up my child to my ex-husband and succeeded...a therapist from "Better Help" turned out to be an ex-convict -- I chose her because she said she was a Christian but eventually revealed to me her delusional beliefs (false doctrines) about her supernatural power. I am EXTREMELY distrustful to say the least. I just pray and talk to God now - intensely at times, full of emotion, and with brutal honesty. Somehow He turns it around and gives me peace. God bless all here. I'm still healing from trauma at 68 years here.

  • @BeingTrueToMyself
    @BeingTrueToMyself Před rokem +2

    Thank You CC Fairy...
    Some great advice here for people... Another thing that I strongly believe, is that a therapist is ONLY as good as you are WILLING to OPEN UP, ACTIVELY LISTEN, BE PREPARED TO HEAR THINGS THAT MAY BE DIFFICULT TO HEAR and DO THE WORK!
    I have been to therapists that caused more problems then they helped. But I have also been fortunate enough to find a dedicated therapist willing to work with me without judgement... I came a long way with her...but I think that in my maturity, I may have been able to learn so much more. Grateful :D

    • @tashmoobabe8704
      @tashmoobabe8704 Před rokem

      Yeah, it's that "difficult to hear" part that is an opening for gaslighting. If it sounds wrong, it probably is. If you feel that avoidance of difficulty is not an issue for you - after all, you showed up for this process - the accusation that you're not willing to "do the work" actually shouldn't land well on you. You should hear the b.s. loud and clear. You've been hearing difficult truths and doing the work all your life, just by being able to function after traumatic abuse and recognizing that this can't be normal.

  • @pamela3445
    @pamela3445 Před rokem

    I started therapy very recently for the first time in my life, I made sure they’re specialized in trauma healing, at times I felt hopeful and reliant on them but at others, I would feel hopeless and back to being on my own dysregulated self, I feel like we aren’t getting to my main core issue, I can’t really tell, anyone that’s been in therapy for much longer, any advice on whether this is a good sign or a bad sign?

  • @yamabelle
    @yamabelle Před 11 měsíci

    I just started therapy at 37 and I feel like they don't take me serious...

  • @susannahv7219
    @susannahv7219 Před rokem +2

    I think that the age of effective, sensitive trauma therapy is yet to come - or rather is just being born. There are some really good professionals out there in the world, but in my opinion it's a real rarity, in some countries more than others. True understanding of trauma and how to heal it is just too new. Older therapists and therapists who only go by the material in their mainstream textbooks can be absolutely clueless about even the basics of how trauma presents - I was really damaged by a few of these experiences before I myself knew better. I was harshly judged and criticised for what I now know are common symptoms/behaviours of people with severe childhood trauma. Some therapists may mean well when they say they are "trauma informed" but it takes so much more than a few short training courses or conferences to fully understand and be able to effectively and sympathetically work with someone living with CPTSD. Far too many haven't healed their own trauma and have blocks and biases that they take out on their clients. What makes it harder is that for all we may have in common, people's specific needs, fears, triggers, inabilities to trust, and what they need to heal are as individual as our personalities and specific exeriences. I watched this video recently and it was the first time I had hope that maybe true trauma therapy will be available in my lifetime. czcams.com/video/FHRgPA_jagE/video.html This woman has been healing from her own CPTSD at the same time as training currently to be a therapist. What she talks about sounds like it might actually work, because she's lived it and she gets it. But until this mefhod comes to my country, I'm getting a lot of healing from Anna's videos, the Daily Practice, and 12-Step groups.

  • @nancyhutchings2748
    @nancyhutchings2748 Před 3 měsíci

    I don't see any link to BetterHelp

  • @MsCaterific
    @MsCaterific Před rokem +1

    🧡

  • @tashmoobabe8704
    @tashmoobabe8704 Před rokem

    Biggest bullshit in the therapy space is being told you're at a turning point and you didn't go there because of your "defenses." This is a serious infraction against sovereignty, and it seems to be standard procedure among therapists. If you are a person suffering the effects of gaslighting, how would you like more gaslighting? Oh, and saying no to this means you are not "coachable" or whatever term they throw at you. After several tries at "therapy," a person might understandably mistrust anyone associated with it - which, in the therapeutic community's propaganda, is an issue they need to address as well. It makes me want to scream!

  • @theresarezac7502
    @theresarezac7502 Před rokem +1

    Cant find a good therapist.

  • @jromeo8247
    @jromeo8247 Před rokem +1

    A good portion of therapists are just traumatized people themselves and can actually be more damaging
    8 out of 10 should not be called therapists.

  • @WeeWeeJumbo
    @WeeWeeJumbo Před rokem +2

    my therapists have only been useless. i think this... process? is not meaningful in my case

    • @WeeWeeJumbo
      @WeeWeeJumbo Před rokem

      _i'm not giving money to ten useless 'professionals' before i find a good one. it's not even the money, that's just no way to live_

  • @NYCStateofMind7
    @NYCStateofMind7 Před rokem

    How can we know what people are saying about you as a Therapist?

    • @CrappyChildhoodFairy
      @CrappyChildhoodFairy  Před rokem +2

      Anna is not a therapist.
      -Cara@TeamFairy

    • @NYCStateofMind7
      @NYCStateofMind7 Před rokem

      @@CrappyChildhoodFairy thanks
      So who’s she?

    • @VioletEmerald
      @VioletEmerald Před rokem +3

      @@NYCStateofMind7 someone who educated herself and figured out a lot about trauma first in the process of healing herself. Then became an expert on helping others. She's just a person who went through a lot and turned her experiences and knowledge into a career

  • @erikacei9158
    @erikacei9158 Před rokem +1

    My first question would be: “How can I deal with shame?” and if the answer sounded like “You have to find your true self” or “Let’s dig into your childhood traumatic memories (= let’s put a knife into your brain) I would say “Goodbye” without any further question.

  • @sophiafaith
    @sophiafaith Před rokem +1

    Therapy is a crap shoot 😢

  • @waterdragon5418
    @waterdragon5418 Před rokem

    Yep arrogance, disgust, ignorance about it all but a supposed advisor in the medical field, no thank you.