Coming back to Vietnam: Reverse Culture Shock
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- čas přidán 20. 05. 2024
- Since being back in Vietnam for the holidays, I’ve experienced quite a bit of reverse culture shock. No one seems to be using cash anymore, and somehow, I seem to have forgotten how to cross the street - what’s happening to me? 😃
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00:00 Intro
00:16 Hosting guests
01:57 Restaurants
04:12 Communication style
07:21 Getting around in Vietnam
08:53 Store opening hours
09:35 Food safety
11:01 Traffic
11:26 The noise
12:15 Body contact
13:30 Using correct pronouns
14:27 Fashion style
15:23 Outro
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Hi, I'm Uyen Ninh but please just call me Uyen!
Originally from Vietnam, I now explore life in Germany, sharing my unique perspective through my videos on my way to be your favorite Ausländer! 😁
Subscribe to my CZcams Channel for Videos and Shorts: @uyenninh
Instagram: uyenninh
TikTok: tiktok.com/@uyenthininh
uyen@yilmazhummel.com - Komedie
Irony of non confrontational culture is u can't be direct setting boundary but ppl can be direct w their criticism 😅
Except in Japan. Even if you gently criticize something you can get canceled for it.
I was just thinking this. Why can they be directly critical and you can't directly tell them that this is not a proper topic of conversation.
@@beckypetersen2680Because asians work in a hierarchy to keep control. It sucks for the younger generation
消える
If this isn't God's truth. I hate it
They tell you that you are fat and ugly and when you ask not to, You are considered confrontational?!? The nerve. 😳
Asian countries are very honest about things like weight but not in a mean way more in a concerned way because people there are naturally so thin. It doesn’t have the same malice as it would in Germany or America. It hurts just as bad but the intention is different. When she says ugly I think she is also referring to the way she dresses, carries herself and puts on makeup as well as her weight. (Which she is gorgeous and perfect in every way) but in other countries things are done differently and we can’t take the same intentions as we would in our own because it isn’t the same. But I’m so proud of her for standing up for herself!!!
It’s common in Asia😭😭😭 and even for the people who see you for the first time and after introductions , the first thing they’d say is that about ur body being fat if u are. And they don’t have any shame to say in front of others.😢
@@cupcakejg1 This. In many families, kids will have nicknames. My mom's best friend in the US had twin girls, one was called fat and one was called skinny. It's not a big deal as that's their nickname growing up. It's considered more cute and endearing than anything and the girls weren't traumatized over it. Viets don't have the same hang ups like in the US where they'd grow up with eating disorders and mental traumas - unless they've embraced the Western culture growing up (which many have due to friends, social media, etc.). My youngest male cousin is called various names like Fat Boy growing up in the US. I'm sure he doesn't like being fat in general, but he doesn't take the nicknames his family gave him to heart as again, it's an endearing nickname he grew up with. He knows he's loved and adored.
But that's the thing, comments on your looks aren't seen as confrontational there.
@@sirhoopalot1 But Uyen made it so because she's more Westernized and more sensitive now due to her weight gain and such. I think deep down, she recognizes the truth and can't take it. It's fine for her to defend herself, but she also should recognize where all this is coming from. And at the end of the video, she commented on how the girls/women there look good, which nulls what she was saying to begin with because you can bet those women are thin with light complexion by Vietnam standards.
Its wild that its considered confrontational to tell someone you dont appreciate their comment but not to confrontational to say the rude comment in the first place
I mean, their life view is " I'm older than you, so I can humiliate and insult you as much as I want, but since you are young you don't have the same right, so shut up, and get kids yourself that you can devalue"
That was even the world view of my mother and she....well ...is German...the only difference is that German parents like this almost never refer to the appearance.
It's more like "With someone like you nobody wants to be a friend, you are not normal, disgusting (still referring to the character)"
Oh definitely! When a person said a rude comment, they think they are doing you a favor and is being nice, so if you talk back, it seems like you are refusing good advice and you are the bad guy
@@KiryubelleKazuma Kind of. I don't think Vietnamese elders have the intention of humiliation and insult, but more like the intention of "wisdom". It depends on the person, but the Vietnamese people that I met who tends to do this thinks that their age gives them a sense of knowledge, so they think they know how to navigate life better than the young. They say those rude comments because they think they are helping you. For example, "you need to lose weight or else you will never find a husband" or "don't cry in front of your kids or else your wife & kids will leave you since you are a sap".
I think Vietnamese people comments more about physicality more than personal characteristics, so kind of the opposite with German parents
@@vivd8187 Fatphobia and Sexism as advice, no thank you.
Uyen starved herself because she wanted to fit Vietnamese beauty standards. That's the result of such "wisdom".
@@vivd8187 The problem is it happens only in one direction. If you tell your elders that they are too fat, or need to have a better job or they are being stupid with money, they don't take that advice kindly. They know only to "give advice" but not "take advice".
When I first came back to the US after living in Belgium, I was so used to the price on the tag being what you pay that I confronted a cashier for overcharging me. She looked at me like I was crazy and explained about the sales tax. I completely forgot. So embarrassing.
I always found that so weird about the US, never quite understood it 😅
This absolutely vexes me when I visit the US. Why is it so hard to put the final price, sales tax included on the price tag of things?!?!? Japan does this too and it drives me absolutely round the bend.😒
@@babyduck22 I always figured it was because there are state, county, and city sales taxes, so including the sales tax would 1) mean every individual location has to calculate the price of every item with their particular sales tax rate instead of just chucking it on at the end, 2) make it impossible (or at least a lot harder) to have big promotions that include prices, and 3) make it look like certain locations always had slightly higher prices, when in fact they just live across the county line or whatever and have a slightly higher sales tax.
I didn't get that at first when I came to the USA. I was buying something that was priced at 39.90. There was a small line so I figured I make it quick and pulled up 2 20 dollars bill and put my wallet away. Took longer than ever when I had to pull my wallet out again to find more money because for some reason 40 dollars is not enough to buy something that cost 39 dollars.
@@ddawn23 Exactly. Even in the same state the price may differ from town to town due to variations in taxes that they have voted on.
I love how the video starts with 'im back to Vietnam', after I saw the video of getting back to Germany like yesterday hahaha
Well I filmed lots of footage in Vietnam, gotta use them all 😂
@@uyenninh I love every video you do!
@nh I just like to imagine you teleporting back and forth. Im looking forward to all the footage :)
@@InTouchWithBertJ haha I love the idea of you imagining her teleporting and now I'm guaranteed to start doing the same! 😊👌🏽
I was confused too!
I can't wait for the "My Vietnamese family's culture shock in Germany" video.
2.5 years abroad ish is the threshold between "I'm going home" and "I am going back but doesn't feel quite like home"
That's how I felt moving back from Okinawa 😂. The very first thing was shaking hands! Like "what? Why are you trying to touch me?!" Other thing was driving on the right. I'm still not fully comfortable even after 15 years. I'll drive on the left on highways because it feels better. 😂
Its nowhere near around half the world but last christmas time I talked to my parents about when visiting the family, that being in my 'hometown' my head and body still remembers the place. I don't walk around fully aware and at attention like I would in a foreign city... but it's also no longer 'home' 🤔
Sooooo true! I came home after 3 years and took me a looong time to settle down. Many things are very different than before :( (Including me.) You cannot expect things and people not change and not move on. I did know about this affect, tried to prepare for it but ... found it very difficult anyway.
I just moved to a different city when I grew up, but about at that mark I felt like I don't belong anymore at "home", took me a little longer to find a flat where I can actually say I'm going home without feeling like lying
Good to know. Thank you.
I am 73 years old and my mantra has always been, if you want respect you have to give respect. It works both ways.
I love that. ❤
Yup, respect is gained, not given
Yes! I'm 26 and i have been following this mantra since i was a kid. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Does mantra mean motto?
You are not relating to her Culture with your mantra. She has explained that they find it normal to express their opinion (ie: disrespect her) 11:57 about weight and looks, so she has learned to let them know that it is not okay. It is not something that will correct itself by her being respectful.
Hi Uyen, full-blooded Vietnamese like you here, although I lived in the south and had always been a city boy, but my mum is in Can Giuoc, which is in a rural area as well! I want to tell you that, I completely understand your feeling about the more icky side of our culture, and you have my full support especially on older people commenting and judging everything you do base on their "elderly" opinions. You have every right to confront them on those topics! It is a part of our culture that we should start to slowly change.
It’s worked for thousands of years why change.
@who798 It didn't work, it was tolerated. It shouldn't be.
@@hotmamma2126 says who-you? I would really get off your high horse if you judging it by the west standards. It’s very individualistic society and to be honest a total utter mess!
@@who798 Why do you sound so offended? Vietnamese culture needs to adapt, not because we want to act like the individualistic West, but we want a better life that brings both harmony and respect to all generations. Younger Vietnamese can see what traditions should be kept, and something that should be abandoned. For example, people from older generations can comment to your face "you're fat", ask sensitive questions "How much money do you earn?", "When do you marry/give birth to a baby?" and they compare you with other people as well, which destroys the self-esteem of many youngsters. Many young Vietnamese people can't bear the old communication style. It doesn't work anymore with new generations.
You pretend as if western standards existed also for thousands of years, when many of the things that now seem self-evident have been fought for in the last 200 years.
Lets take the example of elder's opionions mattering more, and talking back should be avoided. This used to be exactly the same until the start of the 20th Century.
Did you see the fashion of men in the late 19th Century? Everyone wearing beards and big mustaches, to hide their youth. Because if you were young, your word meant nothing. When they finally stood up for themselves and said: "No more.", the facial hair vanished. Because no one needed to look older than they were any longer.
Holding on to traditions just for the sake of holding on, without ever questioning if they actually make sense, is the worst kind of menta laziness.@@who798
Who else felt like they were at a sleepover when that mosquito net went over the camera? 😂 Thanks for the immersive experience!😂
glad I’m not the only one who got cozy
Timestap?
@@immaruinu8729 4:34
@@immaruinu87294:33-4:39
Ikr? Sleepover with Uyen!
So proud of you, too, for standing up for yourself, and yes, breaking those boundaries down. You should always defend how you are treated & talked to. Especially by elders or those who are close to your family. Great video. I loce learnign more & more about your culture and Germany as well 😊
Keep in mind, the culture she grew up in is different than Germany. The comments are likely without malice or ill intent, but more about concern for her health and well-being. In Western culture, one can easily take offense to comments on one's weight and such because that's how it is. In Vietnam, it's totally different. And even she herself said at the end of the video how the Vietnamese girls/women were beautiful.
@@doodahgurlie Not true, because it happens only elder to younger or superior to inferior in a hierarchy. In Asia, try it in reverse direction. Try telling your Mom that she is fat and needs to exercise more, or try telling your Father that he is earning less and needs to have a better job with more money, you will get slapped and kicked out of the family within 3 minutes. It works only in one direction, not in both directions.
@@doodahgurlieNope. It’s not about health. It’s about looking pretty and being thin is part of the beauty standard.
@@teehee.1862 This is true, too. But it doesn't mean it's one or the other, they could be mutually exclusive.
@@abyrupus Not saying the hierarchy doesn't exist. But sometimes you're treated a certain way because you behave a certain way. I grew up differently. My mom and I had one argument when I was a teenager where she gently slapped me (and I mean extremely gently, more for show than violence). I slapped her back because I was thinking , "How dare she?" She was shocked I slapped her back and went to tell my dad. I stood my ground and he was like whatever. My mom was fat and my dad could earn more money, but I didn't tell them that. First off, my mom had 4 kids. She's allowed to be fat. If she was a fat teenager or young adult before having kids, that'd be a different story. My dad worked hard, whereas I worked to buy clothes and go out to eat with my friends. Why would I be disrespectful to them like that? The difference is that I was a younger with less life experience and living under their roof. Uyen is still young and never had kids. She also has a hunch back for someone so young. I think her family should concentrate on that part of her health.
Wow! Well done on standing up for yourself. That always takes courage, but in a culture where it’s not done. That takes super courage. ❤
“It’s very nice watching the beautiful women walking around it’s very good for my eyes” your so cute
...which is rather in contrast to what she said about the comments on her looks/weight given by the elders whom likely didn't say it with malice or ill intent, but more of a concern for her health and well-being.
@@doodahgurlie Yet, both things have something to do with the pressure to match a certain stereotype of beauty or body type, which Uyen herself felt growing up, as do probably those beautiful, stylish women.
Uyen has made a video about how she's learned to be more comfortable in her skin.
@@doodahgurlie You sure do seem intent on proving some point since You've commented the same thing on a few other comments 🤨🤨
@@wuzittooya I like to give an opposing view if I see something is too on-sided. With that said, you think it's okay for her to comment on the girls/women of Vietnam at the end of the video, but not okay for granny to? You can bet if she were honest, the girls she considered beautiful at the end of her video have the same traits granny pointed out. Which then makes her a hypocrite, no? And if she's truly comfortable in her skin, she wouldn't give a rat's arse what others say. Not everyone is physically beautiful or we'd all be models. Some of us are super talented at making videos/shorts, like Uyen. It's about leaning into your strengths and letting other stuff slide at times.
@@fairgreen42 Throughout history there has been pressure to match a certain stereotype for beauty. It's not going to change now. And Uyen noticed those stylish women and pointed them out for a reason.
Never apologize for standing up for yourself. I understand the cultural differences, my wife is from Hong Kong, but you need to be you.
What if you are wrong? Will you apologize then?
The hugging is totally relatable as a Southeast Asian person. We rarely hug. I was born in the USA and my parents are immigrants. Growing up, I hardly remember my own parents hugging me. It’s not until much much later into adulthood that we would hug after not seeing each other for a long time. But it’s still very unnatural for us.
Do you have an idea where that's coming from? I have been asking myself that for a while now. Cause generally I would say that especially children need or demand physical touch as some form of care also...
@@fotographiefraeulein I think it’s just something that was passed down from generation to generation. My parents were born in a third world country/super poor. You literally had to farm your own food or you’ll starve so I think they just didn’t have time to coddle their children past a certain age because children need to learn quickly how to help with household and agriculture chores.
I have the opposite problem. I am originally from Romania but I moved to California when I was 13 (almost 20 years ago). In Romania, the concept of the personal space bubble does not exist. Family members give you very long hugs, and touch you a lot (like on your arms when they speak to you), and even friends and strangers sit very close to you when they talk to you. California has a lot more personal space, hugs are short and mostly between friends or relatives , and there is no kissing on cheeks. When I go back to Romania, I feel very uncomfortable with everyone being in my space and hugging me so much, and kissing my cheeks. It's always a shock when I go back. I feel smothered.
@@fotographiefraeulein mom and child showing physical affection is fine, but less so for grown up. Physical display of affection such as hugging in Asian culture has traditionally been reserved for lovers to do in private, so it also has a slight romantic undertone which makes it awkward to do in normal communication. I think it is changing though with the influence of Western culture.
and then meanwhile my fam and lots of my relatives they love hugging like me and my mom do hug on a daily basis.. . . ig we are a different kind of SEAsians XD
Good on you for standing up for yourself. I also grew up being conditioned to respect my elders even if they badmouth me or disrespect / ignore my boundaries. I had to learn to unlearn this because it's such a toxic mentality and allowing people to walk all over you is never good. I'm glad to hear that you're able to take the reins and speak up about your boundaries.
P.S. - at the beginning of the video when you talked about guests showing up unannounced - as an introvert, this is literally one of my worst nightmares. Honestly, I probably wouldn't even answer the door and just pretend I'm not in. 😓
I think it will not be possible in Vietnam rural area ( as in other rural areas in SE Asia) , because they have a some kind of open house, neighbours can go in and out of the house freely.
Ha ha ha ...I met my match. As a teenager I used to greet the guests run & hide in my bedroom pretend I was studying. But imagine my plight when one aunt barged inside my room, sat next to me on my bed & started talking for half an hour. I wished earth would open & swallow me up. 😅
You should be very proud for standing up for yourself. A lot things are cultural and we should be accommodating but when people start insulting us about our looks or for not being pregnant etc. it is really crossing the line. I understand how hard it is to say something if you were raised to be quiet but I think you did really well for yourself. Congratulations!
👍👍👍❤️❤️❤️
Agree. No matter what older people have learned as acceptable, times change and they can as well.
Just wanted to say that watching your long form videos makes me feel like you are my cool big sister, thank you so much for sharing your experience with us!! ❤️❤️
Yes, they are truly my favorite
Regarding the family making comments about your body...that's literally all I talked about today in therapy 😂. I feel you, as a Chinese American who played outdoor sports growing up and as a result has darker skin than the average rich indoor Chinese person, I understand the pain of having to fend off the comments. I have muscle from playing ice hockey, but to my family, I'm eating too much rice! It's infuriating!! I'm so messed up because of it, hence the therapy lol. Love you, Uyen, and so happy to hear you are standing up for yourself!! 🧡
The noise has to be overwhelming. I sometimes can't stand hearing my upstairs neighbors stomp around if I could hear their music and conversation too I'd probably cry.
You are so articulate and pleasant. No wonder you have so many followers. There are always bittersweet things about leaving and coming home for visits. Especially in rigidly-tiered societies. As we live, we adopt the things that work for us in our current life, and ditch the things that don't. We become like the people who surround us. And of course we then forget the minutiae of things no longer relevant. You are doing so well. Always lovely to see a new video.
I love your videos! My wife is Saigonese and I am caucasian American. We live outside of Little Saigon in Westmister, California and are most likely your parents' age. Culture continues to be our ongoing challenge. But your videos are honest and humorous and we benefit greatly by watching them together. We are sad when they end.
Philip and Nguyet
The fact that European-looking Americans call themselves Caucasians always blows my mind 😂🤯 For us Caucasians are people who live in the Caucasia like Armenians, Georgian, Chechen, etc.
@@itwasironicIt’s actually a hold over from bad race science that started in Europe and gained popularity in America.
@@solarmoth4628 Interesting… The ironic part for me is that Caucasians are targets of racism in Russia as they are not considered white (slavic/european-looking)🤷🏻♀️
“Caucasian American” 😂😂😂
@itwasironic I despise having to identify as “Caucasian”, but America insists on it. Sort of like the era where we were forced to call all black people “African American”, even though many did not descend from Africa and/or weren’t American. For a country so obsessed with defining race, we do a piss poor job of it.
Uyen, a long term viewer here! Just want to say how impressed I am with your English! It has greatly improved in the last two years. Well done ❤🎉
I think so too!
Hi Uyen, I am from Germany and I am in Hanoi right now, I've travelled Vietnam for six weeks and I can relate to every single thing you just said, this loud music everywhere is driving me crazy sometimes haha:D
thank you for helping me preparing for this beautiful trip with your videos! ❤
About guests not coming unannounced in Germany: is there a difference between cities and the countryside? Because here in Finland, in the cities, visits are agreed in advance and guests never come unannounced. But in the Finnish countryside, in my experience, it's pretty common that a neighbor or a friend just suddenly appears for a visit, without telling anything in advance.
@@Kivikeskuwell it’s sometimes good to check up on neighbours in countryside
@@Kivikesku Yes, there is. In the countryside you are also more in the garden or outside the house and a neighbour can come over and chat with you at any time.
You did a great job explaining the differences of living in each country and your perspective. It's amazing how a person's lifestyle and even worldview can change so quickly. There seem to be pluses and minuses for both countries and can see how different people would enjoy one culture over another, but I think I'd definitely prefer Germany. I'm glad you stood up for yourself! Thanks for sharing.
I am so proud of you for being able to stand up for yourself. From personal experience, unlearning the need to stay silent is very hard and uncomfortable. So, even though it's difficult, setting boundaries is so necessary for our own peace.
Thank you so much for the video! I feel exactly the same, as a Mexican who lived in London for 5 years, comming back to my country was exactly thge same! I feel understood!
Well done for setting boundaries!! Love from aSouth African immigrant living in the Faroe Islands
When I first came back from Australia after 4 years of studies, I automatically tried to strike up a conversation with someone in the lift in my apartment, and their face LOL
Happy to say that that was 10 years ago, and now if I say Hi, I at least get a mumble as a reply.
Being from a place where casual conversation is... not frequently practiced without a reason but having lived abroad in many VERY chatty places I kind of found it to be a mini secret 'superpower' to not be scared of the eye contact or casual exchange. I still don't LIKE it a lot but there is a certain empowerment feeling in the ability to make eye contact and smile at a complete stranger and say 'hi' without any immediate shame or confusion after 😄😄
Lol I have that problem when I go back to visit my relatives in Romania. Romanians are very warm but only with people they know, so small talk only happens with people you know (like the owner of a shop you go to often, your neigjbor of 20 years, etc). I moved to California when I was 13 (almost 20 years ago) and here everyone makes small talk with each other- strangers or not. Whenever I go back to visit my relatives in Romania, I keep trying to make small talk with cashiers or people in elevators, like is so normal for me to do in California, but instead of a short conversation, I get glared at.
On the other hand, my grandparents' neighbors that have known me since I was a baby but that I don't know well feel comfortable saying that I am an old maid and need to get married already.
German living in Scotland here. Last year, I visited my parents and though German and Scottish culture are not to far from each other I get the feeling. I get car sick on every roundabout in Germany as they are for me in the wrong direction now and I have to remind myself to mind my own business in Germany as it is normal in Scotland to look out even for strangers.
Huh look out for germans too. Offer you help..
I have acquired so much information on Vietnam and its culture through Uyen. Her time back home has been very well spent, and I would like to thank her profusely for taking us with her 😊"Thank you Uyen" 😊
Proud of you for standing up for yourself! In my culture (Mexican) family tends to also be quite blunt with commenting on appearances. I learned from a young age to shut down anyone who would comment on my weight, etc. It's so incredibly rude
Here in the US kids collect extra aunts and uncles all the time.
I was in secondary school before I found out that aunts/uncles are siblings of your parents.
I'm from the Midwest and my parents had lots of siblings. I never called anyone else "aunt" or "uncle." I wish I had had such a pronoun for parents of close friends. I called them Mr or Mrs so-and-so multiple times a day for years! Seemed unnecessary and too distant.
It used to be like that in Germany but it’s becoming less common. My mother used to have loads of “aunts” and “uncles” and I still have a handfull. But it’s more common now to just call these adults by their first name. I think being called aunt or uncle makes many people feel old and it’s a bit formal. For the kid side it feels a bit like a certain familiarity is forced on you when your parents tell you to call someone aunt or uncle.
@@ceebee2858 Look them in the eye and call them by their first name
@@glockenrein I'm also German.
My mother (born in the 60s) is from Schleswig-Holstein, so very Northern. And in her village all the parents' friends and neighbours would be aunt or uncle, always said as "Tante/Onkel Vorname".
I live in Bavaria and I never heard anyone from the south calling non-relatives aunt/uncle.
But I think it's actually a good way to address neighbours or parents' friends.
Because I feel rude if I just use their first name but even more rude using the last name. So having a respectful alternative would be good.
@@Tessa_Gr I’m in NRW so right in the middle. Interesting about Bavarian! And yes, it’s aunt + first name for me, too. Aunt + last name would be weird to me. 😅 I’ve always liked a very German solution to the “I need a semi formal but nice way to address someone” and that is first name + Sie but unfortunately that’s also not very common anymore.
Thanks for that video. It is cute to see how you got adapted to the German lifestyle. And well, yes, I did experience a reverse culture shock when I came home from the UK. The communication style people had just felt so harsh and impolite and direct at first, I was no longer used to that and I had to adapt for about a week again...So, even in Europe, we do have cultural differences...
Me and my vietnamese gf just came back from a 4 week vacation to vietnam. My gf also hasn't been in vietnam for 5 years and her experience was very similar to what you showed in your video.
Since it was my first time my culture shock was probably that of yours times 20 😅 but now that we are back in germany we already miss vietnam so we watch your videos make us feel better.
Thank you for sharing your views ❤
I find the apparent fatphobia and colorism (or I guess just the general "beauty culture") in Vietnam that I learn about from your videos heartbreaking. But it makes me really glad that you set such a good example by standing up for yourself! ❤
The thing is, I bet the women she mentioned were good looking at the end of her video looked a certain way. So hypocrisy exists.
@@doodahgurlie probably because they share the same physical features...because they're all Vietnamese. There's a wide range of looks a Vietnamese person will have but generally some features are similar to each other. If you use proper sun protection (which is good practice anyways for Vietnam, you'll get sunburnt fast if you don't) they'll all be pale to slightly tan which is "acceptable". I don't support colorism but pale skin has been the beauty standard for a while, and I do believe it is not as bad in Vietnam as China, Korea, and Japan for example. Despite this, 2018 Miss Vietnam was tanned and had short hair and she is extremely loved in Vietnam. Perhaps you should go to Vietnam yourself to see, why assume?
A normal body does look better than a fat one, and fatness is unhealthy too. These are facts, not a phobia. Of course it is still rude to comment on someone else's body weight.
@@khangaroo8166 I'm Vietnamese so I know colorism exists there. All the makeup has lightening products in it to make the skin paler. Not only that, but they would carry makeup that makes you look whiter/paler than your normal skin as "darker" skin tone makeup is harder to find. This is similar to makeup my mom would use growing up. She'd wear makeup that's lighter than her skin while bemoaning the fact that her pale daughter (I'm not really pale, but compared to the rest of my family, I totally was) would tan in the back ward. My cousin who lives in Houston went to Vietnam with a Viet family and they paid for her to get her hair and makeup done for a wedding they were all attending. We all laughed at her makeup because her face was so pale compared to the rest of her body. She said they do that to everyone and she felt like a weirdo because of the almost Geisha-like contrast between her face and her neck color. My SIL is from Hai Phong and had wedding pictures done when she went home. I laughed at her pictures because they did the same thing to her. It's just unnatural looking. With that said, NATURAL pale skin is still preferred over darker skin tones. And to point out Miss Vietnam, who is likely an exception to the rule, doesn't bely that fact. There are always going to be exceptions, but that does not make it the norm.
@@Kivikesku Uyen is not fat but is constantly told she is--it IS fatphobia. They want her to have a different body, one they would call slender. Even if she was fat, what is the point of telling someone over and over? They know! The only other reason to mention it is to make them feel bad, which only serves to shame them for something they might not be able or willing to change.
You are beautiful. It really baffles me, how someone would call you ugly or fat 😵
Litteraly! She is so pretty, and I'm saying that with sincerity from the bottom of my heart. She is so cute, but I know how strict beauty standards can be in some countries. I just hope she knows and feels beautiful and doesn't let the mean comment get to her.
Have you seen those pics she shared of herself a few years back when she was living in Vietnam though? She was thin and gorgeous back then. By comparison she is really uglier and fatter now from a Vietnamese beauty standard perspective. That's just a fact. I get that she's happier now and I'm super happy for her, but she really is fatter now (and just plain fat in comparison to the average Viet woman). People who knew her before the transition may see her now and view it as a her struggling to take care of herself in a foreign country rather than successfully integrating into a new culture whose beauty standard is completely different. Just my 2 cent as someone who also moved to a western country and got fat and ugly by Vietnamese standard.
Living all over the world (my homeland is USA) there are MANY cultural differences which I greatly appreciate! I lived in Germany, Europe, all over Asia for years and the videos I could do….wow just wow. Thank you for taking us along. I see many familiar places in your videos that bring back beautiful memories 🥰
OH MY GOD UYEN SAME PINCH! I was in the UAE for 8 YEARS, so basically I spent my entire childhood in some parts of Dubai and Abu Dhabi. So when I returned to India, I remember how the guests would RANDOMLY get into the house without prior notice or phone call and end up staying for breakfast to dinner. Sometimes they would end up staying at our home if it was too late. I was a little late to understand this "openness" for guests, but seriously it felt so offensive, them intruding my privacy. And yes, about the restaurant thing, that ordering part is so relatable! Motorbikes too are an essential SURVIVAL skill in India. Here you will find from 16-year-old to 60-year-old driving motorbikes like a pro. My cousin who's just 13 can drive it easily, and here I am, unable to maintain SIMPLE BALANCE on it! I had never traveled on 2 wheelers before because in UAE the heat wave is just too much, the average summer temperature easily crosses +40°C so one had to travel in cars or metro/buses. So when I came back to India, I remember being so shocked at congested SINGLE LANE roads; let's just not talk about the traffic! People in my village here are noisy as hell; one day, my neighbors were shouting. I thought they were fighting, but actually, they were LAUGHING. In my town, people hate PDA. I, of course, was soo excited to meet my relatives and cousins after such a long time. I hugged them like a PANDA; if you could see their eyes, they were like, 'What's wrong with this woman?' 😂 Lastly, the fashion, ngl, here people DRESS UP like they're going to do a RAMP WALK. I miss walking around the malls in UAE in my PJs, and no one would judge or pass a comment like people do here. IG old hags in all Asian countries love to fat-shame and taunt bout skin color at every young girl they come across. I forgot to mention about the confrontation thing in India too; we have this culture of not talking back to anyone especially the elders even if they're wrong, cause that's diSreSpeCt and they're oLDer than you! I didn't know Vietnam and India could have such crazy similarities. ❤
Same here. Lived whole life in uae. Hate going to India. So I don't. Can't be bothered.
Good for you, man! I miss UAE, my family has moved India now...
It really does depend where in India you go. These things happen a lot less in bigger cities. I only lived away (US) for half a decade during my adulthood and the only major reverse culture shock for me was the QR codes and the sheer frustration of setting up bank accounts. And of course, people judging you and commenting. Otherwise, life is pretty much the same. I actually think people aren't that well-dressed most of the time except for during special occasions or in certain parts of my city.
@@thisisnotausernameXD QR code and credit cards became quite prominent during pandemic in UAE so in my case this wasn't a culture shock. Bro the thing in big cities is nobody knows each other & people are busy with their work-life. In suburban villages the neighbors recognizes & interacts with YOU so you know one has to kinda look like 'presentable' in a nutshell showcase their "status" which is pretty dumb ngl. In my high-school trekking trip I literally saw a girl wearing a VERSACE tracksuit? Seriously VERSACE for a camping in dirt!
@@Whovidushishahi I had a coworker in the US who wore luxury brand (Chanel, Dior, etc) clothing to work everyday for a job in a lab environment. And it was the fashionable stuff, not suits or the like. Or like all the Canada Goose jackets everywhere whenever the was the slightest dip in temps. I don't even bat an eye at that kind of stuff anymore. But I honestly don't see anyone wear anything except fast fashion mostly in my Indian city. And I swear all the teenagers dress exactly the same all over the world now.
I don't know much about what it is like living in the UAE but my impression of it is that many people are into luxury brands and other status signifiers there as well. Correct me if that's not accurate.
I'm really proud of you for setting boundaries! That takes a lot of courage
I’m so proud of you for standing up for yourself! ❤ I was raised similarly to you in this matter and I still quite a bit with this as well! It’s very difficult going against the parents and relatives!
I love that everyone who has commented hasn’t finished watching the video yet
Including you ;)
Ungla bungala puc
the early birds would write anything just for the sake of commenting
Why they need to put chemicals? Who encouraged them to put chemicals oh the U.S 😒
@@NatashaLawes-xg3uk Everything is chemicals. If you're referring to pesticides, those are used worldwide, on both organic and non-organic produce, and including in the EU (as Uyen literally says in this video).
What a delight to watch your videos! You are so cheerful that I find myself smiling as if we are in the same room together. About 25 years ago I quit my job after almost 20 years. I didn’t know what I wanted to do next. I thought that a well rounded person should speak more than one language. Because my university mandated a foreign language I studied Spanish but I was a terrible student. Words were masculine or feminine. There were so many tenses. There were formal and informal ways of addressing people. In the United States you can travel this massive country and English is spoken everywhere. I volunteered to be a teacher in a small town in the Dominican Republic. So many of the things you described remind me of the culture shock I experienced. Because I look Dominican people were shocked to hear my accent. Tourists rarely visited Duvergé and back then few people had televisions or VCRs and there were no cinemas so they never saw African Americans. Daily greetings included embraces as if they hadn’t seen me in years when they just saw me yesterday. The mosquitoes were horrific. There were daily power outages. The tap water wasn’t safe so I carried around a thermal jug with potable water. It was always noisy: motorcycles without mufflers, speakers as tall as me blaring music at the highest volumes the same ten songs on the radio and roosters crowing all day long.
I think I love Viet Nam. I'm a poor french exiled in a nordic country and I miss some of that... chaos ! Part of me loves the idea of ppl popping up at your place without having to make a big deal of it, and the vibrance of the place, the late night openings, even the noise. It's a mess but it's LIFE :)
OMG, each and every point in this video I can relate to, being an Indian living abroad. It amazes me how much we have in common culturally 😀
the fact that those elederly can be rude af and young ones have to take it sounds so disturbing but your reaction sounds so good ❤
Way to set boundaries Uyen . I'm proud of you❤
Love your videos.
I'm proud of you for standing up for your self. It's specially difficult when it comes to family and their commentary entitlement about your body! Great job !❤❤❤
You are very brave, Uyen. ❤ Family can be hard to defend yourself to in any culture, but it sounds like you found the strength and courage to do it. Good for you! 😊 You are setting a good example for people everywhere and especially women! Thank you for sharing your story about it.
My favourite part of your whole journey is how much more confident and comfortable in yourself you are. It's a roller-coaster ride I've been on myself. The part where you talk about telling people how to treat you correctly is amazing. :D
Uyen, you are an incredible person! I am so inspired by you! Thank you you for sharing your life and your thoughts. I feel like you have changed my life. 😊
I grew up in the Midwestern US and moved to Spain 40 years ago. In those days in Spain no one had air conditioning so in our hot summers all the windows were wide open. People yelled a lot, to them it was normal conversation but it drove me crazy! They put the TV or music on really loud too. Now people have air conditioning or heating units so the windows stay closed more and it's a lot quieter. They also stand a lot closer to each other than we did in the US so when I went back to visit family people kept backing away from me.
Your parents house is BEAUTIFUL AND VERY CLEAN.. love your videos and parents home tour. Thank you for sharing your LOVELY CULTURE 😊
Your videos are always so entertaining yet informative. Thank you! The mic really must have helped because the background noise didn’t seem too bad. You make me want to travel!
YESS! I was waiting for another long form video from you
good job with editing! I love the transitions. You can be proud of yourself for standing up for yourself! It's very difficult especially when not saying anything is already established 💪
Hi Uyen, I'm sorry people in Vietnam make rude comments about your weight.You are perfect the way you are. Something for you to contemplate is the the food people eat is based on their location.Colder climates eat heavier calorie dense food because they need the fuel to keep warm, just the opposite for warm climates.Love your videos, I'm always learning something from them! I visited Vietnam in 2019 and absolutely loved it.
On one hand, I can imagine it might be feel awkward for you to confront people and set boundaries but I cannot express how happy I am for you and how proud I am of you, Uyen, for doing so! It will continue to get easier over time, and hopefully, people will learn to respect that. Thankfully, you are well-versed in the cultural differences between Germany and Vietnam. So, it's good to see you aren't taken aback by their reactions to your direct approach.
Much love! xoxo
I love how you are uploading so much more! I love watching your videos whilst I am studying at uni. Thank you for keeping me happy! :D
Uyen, your videos are done so well. I find them so comforting. I think you have became my favourite you tuber because you just radiate kindness and love ❤❤❤
I love your videos they are so fun to watch
I’m proud of you standing up for yourself and setting boundaries too.
I'm so proud of you for standing up for your self!!
I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself! I know it isn’t easy and you are taking care of yourself! Much love from the US! 💚
The body contact thing was interesting to me since the country I am from (Finland) is known for being so antisocial and big distances. But most of my friends and I give a hug to each other when parting ways after hanging out. Which from what you are telling seems like would be a "no no" in Vietnam!
We are proud on you for setting boundaries!
I lived in Japan for 4 years and when I came back to America, I had reverse culture shock. In Japan, everything is so clean, there are no trash cans (because people take their trash home), most restrooms have a bidet and fully enclosed stalls, and people are generally welcoming. The biggest thing for me though was mask wearing. In Japan, most will wear masks regardless if they are sick or not. Since I came back to America kind of towards the end of the pandemic, only half of the people I saw were wearing masks. They only seemed to wear it in some parts of the airports because it was still required at that time. However, as soon as they got to baggage claim everyone ripped off their masks! I was in disbelief since I thought baggage claim was still considered part of the airport. For a few days or so after that, I was so conflicted on whether or not to wear a mask. Again, it was still kind of the end of the pandemic, but since most Americans didn’t seem to recognize it in the first place, it was really hard to decide what to do. I felt strange wearing a mask in America, but also strange when not wearing a mask in Japan. 😂
Our US cities are in terrible conditions, every time I go into a big city there is homeless and trash everywhere. When people are forced to do something in the US (aka wearing masks) they feel like their rights are taken away from them. We also eat terrible food + we hardly walk anywhere due to our lack of public transit or bike lanes, so we drive everywhere and pick up fast food and never get exercise in the process. The main reason why our dollar is strong is because our US military's strength and global influence help to support the value of the US dollar. Our government is always spending money outside the US, but the government don't really support the citizens unless they really HAVE to. I can go on everything wrong with the US, but I suppose I will include a positive: we have nice nature.
I think it’s wonderful that you’re feeling agency over your own body and how others speak about it/you whilst in your presence. Good on you, keep it up and I support you! 💪 ❤
I grew up in New England USA where people are formal and restrained with affection. When I went to Brazil to meet my now husband, people were extremely welcoming and affectionate. I got used to that quickly so when I went back home, I noticed a huge culture shock. It's so interesting how each culture has its own personal boundaries.
A dose of 1 uyen / german boyfriend video a day is a must fr me. Makes my day happy complete and satisfied
You are brave in many ways! That cultural shock in both directios, has a price on our hearts and also on our relationships, family ,and so on. Its also brave to go abroad, and at the same time trying not to lose our rooth. And its brave to share the experience!
Take it as easy as you are able to. Im a south american inmigrant in Spain, myself. Even there is more cultural resemblance, its not allways easy...
Be strong and well hearted, as you seem to be ! Good luck and thanks for all your videos ❤
Really interesting and informative video! I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself even though it's difficult to do. You deserve to be spoken to with kindness and encouragement not insulted and belittled! 🧡
You are my comfort youtuber uyen ❤
Me too ❤❤
I've always been chubby, when people ask me "are you pregnant" I say "no my baby died" so they can feel as bad as they made me feel 🙃
I love learning about your experiences with different cultures. I'm German, have traveled to several countries, but it's easy to forget how different people's lifestyles can be. Especially the way people deal with problems, contradiction, criticism, or even praise and encouragement, as well as how they react when someone doesn't know something and asks a question, always shows me how extremely diverse cultures can be and how easily misunderstandings can arise. Thank you for giving me insight into your home culture in such a nice, casual, and friendly way. I wish you all the best
I'm so proud of you Uyen!! Standing up for oneself can be difficult, especially when it is engrained in the culture/environment you're in. It's basically a new skill you've had to learn, it also takes bravery & tact (to try & communicate your feelings without hopefully starting a fight, but some ppl just do like to fight & have a hard time learning they are wrong).
Seriously though, how do some people think you're fat???
Those ppl are hungry and jealous lol
Uyen you are truly an inspiration to all of us, I am really proud of you and thank you for sharing your experiences with us when you went to Vietnam, i really learn a lot about with you, also you are really sweet and you are my comfort place, it feels like you're my big sister 🥺
Excellent video. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for taking the time to make it ❤
Its so great to getting know more about your homecountry, thank u so much for sharing this with us! 🙏
U rock! Keep doing what you're doin. Your followers love you! We will always tune in😊
I am very happy for you. Thank you for continuing to upload content even though you are taking a vacation
At the Age of 10 I've immigrated to Romania from the Netherlands. I lived there until I came back to the Netherlands to study and it was a huge change for me. I really had to find my way back into the Dutch culture and habits. But now, being back for over 10 years, I really feel home again. I wish you all the best with your youtube channel
Your videos are so genuinely interesting - and your presentational style is sublime. Thanks for sharing!!
Congratulations on getting a sponsor! That's huge!
And Babble is a perfect fit on this channel 😄
I take my hat off for your courage to talk about that in such a lovely and authentic way, grown to a self-confident woman with a smart brain. love your videos. keep going 🥳
So proud of you for standing up for yourself!! So important!!!
So glad you are standing up for yourself! Never stop doing that ❤️
I’m so proud of you! Keep evolving and standing up for yourself.
Props to you for sticking up for yourself and setting boundaries! 💪You go girl! 🙌✨
How can anyone not want to be hugged by you?!
You are wonderful. I get to see world cultures thru your eyes. Thank you. Been using Babbel for almost a year to study German. But, as you know, es is schwierig. Your insights into German culture help me greatly
I’m sooooo happy with these long format videos. I feel like I’m being your friend ❤
Great vlog Uyen! Would love to see more travel vids with your wonderful narration 🙌
I could listen to you for hours!! Your voice is so sweet :)
Your videos bring me a kind of joy and tranquility I will never be able to express
So proud of you for standing up for yourself! It is so much easier to just remain silent and it takes a lot of bravery to stand up against not just them but culturally.
Love to hear about you standing up for yourself!
Thank you for sharing with us all these observations in your travels! You make it so fun to learn different cultures!
Love the longform videos ❤