Turning 30 | Life Lessons I Learned In My 20s
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- čas přidán 2. 07. 2024
- I turned 30 recently, and with that has come some reflections on what I learned in my 20s - especially in light of the questions I've received over the last few months about dealing with self-doubt, self-reflection and the confusing questions in life. In this video, I'll be sharing the most important lessons I learned as well as some of the challenges that I had.
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Timestamps:
0:00 Introduction
1:21 First Lesson
4:22 Second Lesson
7:47 Third Lesson
In the Asian community, you can only be a lawyer, doctor, accountant, or engineer. I graduated college and worked at an oil company pursuing the 6 figure salary career that some of my friends wanted. About 2 years into the job, I decided to follow a different path, so I returned to graduate school. So far, I have worked in healthcare, renewable energy engineering, and military flying. You don't know what will happen in the next 5 months let alone 5 years. When hiring managers ask me about my vision for my 10-year plan, I genuinely would stop and resist the urge to ask them their own questions. Hang in there and stay strong my friends. If you knew exactly what your life will be like, would you still want to go through it knowing so well that you can't change a damn thing? Would you still look forward to living your life if you knew your whole life story?
Couldn’t agree with you more! Taking away the possibilities of life seems like it would be taking away the essence of living
I recently turned 33 in June and I'm blessed to be here. 💯
I seriously have so much respect for you guys sharing these deeply personal thoughts and views into the world. To a lot of viewers it may just seem like "content", but a lot of Em's lessons she's shared takes an incredible amount of introspection, humility and maturity. We see a lot of generic advice on the internet but to break down our own walls in the challenges we face is one of the toughest things we face. Kudos to you Em for your absolute bravery for sharing these aspects of true self for us to learn from. Wanting you guys to know that your lessons do not fall on deaf ears
Thank you so much, it means a lot to hear that (and also makes posting these types of videos a little less scary!)
Yep. Reminds me of the best people i meet face to face, people who are genuine and reflective.
@@EmandLloyd Update - i've just quit my corporate 6-figure salary job due to burnout/toxic management after working there for 5 months. I don't have anything lined up. I didn't do this because of Em & Lloyd's videos, but I'm commenting this because I want to share with others that even though on the outside people may have prestigous job titles and high salaries, it is not worth it for the sake of your mental and physical health.
All the best to you Em. Im in my 12th year of practice. The first 9-10 years were very tough on me, physically and especially mentally. There were very dark days. In the early days, I wished a bus would run me over on my way to work so that I could have a reason to stop working. I remember hoping that I would go into a coma so I could just sleep and ignore the demands made of me.
I was like you, always relying on external validation to feel good about myself. I had quite a "tough love" childhood, was a straight As' student. I did not love myself. I was obsessed with what clients, colleagues, bosses thought of me. I constantly ruminated over people's comments. Any negative feedback would send me into a spiral.
What changed for me was - I became a mother. Then I realised, I needed to fix myself. My work and the toxicity in my work environment then were taking a toll on me. I could not let that go on for the sake of my family.
I quit that job, even though I was promised a partnership track. In my new job I realised instantly the environment again was not for me. Changed job another time, this time choosing the job based on culture and values, as opposed to money and prestige. In the meantime, I started building my own network. I also started seeing a therapist who was a tremendous help in unwinding many of the psychological issues I had been facing, tracing them back to my childhood. Also, most recently, I've been exploring Christianity (which I abandoned when I was younger because I felt it didn't help me reach my goals), learning to rely on God and learning Jesus Christ's unconditional love for me.
Now, I'm still a work in progress. I am definitely happier and more confident. Instead of obsessing over career growth, I'm focusing on my character development. I still face stresses but they no longer sink me.
Cut out the toxic people in your life. That goes a long way. Good luck.
Thanks for sharing, it's encouraging to hear about the growth you've experienced in your journey! Wishing you all the best as well ☺️
Thank you for posting this Em. I'm 27, about to turn 28, and in the midst of shaking up my career in a way that I didn't expect would happen even a few months ago. A lot of what you said resonated with me deeply.
Em IS much more Em and she is glowing with that maturity and ease.🤍
This was the video I was waiting for! As 23 year old whose just started my first major job in London, it can sometimes feel lost in terms of what to do. Really valuable to hear what you learned and it will no doubt help me navigate through my 20s
I just turned 30 as well and am a third year associate in big law. These videos you both create are so therapeutic and I feel you so much. Thanks for sharing and putting this together❤️
thanks for sharing these lessons with us!
Love this ☺ thank you for sharing💗
I appreciate you sharing these three lessons with us; I find them to be quite encouraging.
I really loved this video! So relaxing and it really helps me absorb what you’re saying :).
So glad I found your channel! Very informative and great resource for junior lawyers / people generally. 👏👏👏
Very inspiring and insightful, thank you for sharing!
Like your sharing so genuine and it impacts to other life indeed! Thank u and continue to do what you like.
Quality video as always. Hope you'll find a life that you love and support you!
Hi Em, thanks for such a thought provoking reflection. It actually freshes up my mind. I am very pleased you are doing something you enjoy and actually making an impact which might be invisible but certainly it does go a long way.
Thanks for sharing, good insights!
The transition between scenes is so pretty and smooth! Thank you for such great video and content . Happy for your decision ❤️❤️
Excellent video! It has prompted me to do some self reflection as well, seeing that I will be turning 30 later this year. I love that you are so honest and true with your feelings and I’m grateful for your videos.
I'm also in my late 20s and decided to switch to a 100% new career, so I can totally relate to what you said. To be honest, I'm kind of scared because i don't know where this is going. But what you said about the anticipation of the future somehow just gave me some faith. Thank you!!
The level of reflection to come to these three lessons is amazing, and these are nuggets of wisdom we would all be able to relate to, if we didn't already realize the merits of... especially the focus on the internal before external piece. 🙏 Needed this reminder. Thanks so much for sharing! :)
Very inspiring and thought-provoking!
This is a great video. Thank you for sharing it
Thank you for sharing all your thoughts about quitting law practice. I wish I have your courage. I'm into my 24th year of law practice as a litigation lawyer. I used to enjoy it but now I dread it. You just turned 30. I'm 50 and all I can say is that not everyone has life all figure out. I thought I did but now I realise I need to reexamine certain assumptions and re-learn some lessons. I am learning even now that the ability to adapt and change course is very important. I am the process of resetting and your videos is a source of encouragement for me. Learning a lot from them. Keep up the good work!
thanks for all the efforts
WOW! The lessons you learned are very deep and meaningful. I learned them in my 20s too. When doubts & dissatisfaction first started, I squashed those emotions and “inner voices” down which then led to anxiety disorder because I had a lot of anxiety about my career and all other areas of my life. I then spent a few years learning to overcome my anxiety and learned these lessons the hard way. And then I decided to become a coach for people who have mental distress which my experience became a gift in my life because it helped awakening me.
I'm 31 and going through my bar now... just discovered your videos a few days ago and really resonate with what both of you speak about. I really like legal practice, but I'm pushing myself so hard just to get work done and it's really impacting on my health. Makes me hesitant if obtaining qualification is even "worth it". Thanks for making your content!
you guys are my new favourite channel!
Same feeling as i turned 25 last year. Keep it up both of you!
I like that you are being introspective, which is very hard to do so
Em & Llyod thanks for sharing your innermost thoughts. Jia you both great humans!!!
Happy Birthday Em! Love the videos and your honest sharing! It's so amazing how much similarities we share in our background, upbringing and contrarian mindset and I'm so thankful to have partners in crime in you and Lloyd to share this journey!
Thank you ☺️ It’s always nice to discover similarities in others, especially when it comes to mindset!
Great video. Well done.
I love how you changed the scenery for each lesson and sprinkled little clips throughout. I appreciate the detail you went into for each lesson while still being concise. I know I will be revisiting this video in the future for a reminder if I need it, especially for the third lesson. I hope to reach the same level of self-confidence that you have Em. Thank you for being an inspiration.
Thanks so much Michael, it means a lot to hear that (and I’m glad you enjoyed the scenery changes!)
I love the videos your guys! They are personal, objective, relatable and well explained! You guys are truly inspirational and this video is a reminder of things I face on a daily basis! Thank you so much for all of your effort ! By the way just discovered your channel so currently going through all your videos!
Thank you so much! That means a lot ☺️
0:55 I love that part!! I think this is one of my favorite videos from your channel, it's so relatable. I feel like a lot of people in the 20's/30's/40's are still figuring out their life but because we grew up with the idea that adults should have their life together, it feels contradictory to admit that we don't know what we're doing even if that's the truth. I love how this video is allowing conversations like these to happen because I'm sure there are thousands of people experiencing the same problem but because very few people discuss it openly, it becomes something that is just swept under the rug. Props to you for going against the conventional path to find a more fulfilling path. I'm sure you'll do great in whatever you pursue!
Thanks Kara - really glad to hear this was relatable since (as you mentioned) it's not discussed openly very much!
Wow I've just turned 30 this year as well and have recently quit the finance/accounting industry that I've been in as well due to parent's expectations. It's been a tiring 10 years. & I know my story is just way too common among asian families. I still struggle sometimes with the internal dialogue and shame of us millennials being 'entitled' just because I choose to quit a job that doesn't sit well with me. At the end of it all, I'm the one who has to bear the realities of my decisions of working a job that consumes me . I've learnt to have the courage to accept what works for me and not judge myself for it even if society does.
I definitely feel that - glad to hear where you're at now and wishing you all the best!
so you’re living in your parents basement now?
Loved you lessons!
I love this! 😍😍😍
Love this video so much, agreed with you fully on leaving comfort zone because of the unknown and uneasy factors, having the courage to go on is not easy; BUT SO GLAD YOU DID IT!!!!! The tradition way is good but doesn't mean YOUR WAYS isn't, no need to always follow marriage, good job, have kids, have home and then RETIRED!!!!! Can't wait to hear what's next for you!!!!!! Continue to support you!!!!!! Enjoy your break!!!!
Thanks a lot Sam, appreciate the support! 😊
Team figuring it out!!
Best team!!
Keep it up, loving watching your video and please simile more :)
As an entry-level Legal Associate, I highly appreciate your guys' great efforts to make the informative and thought-provoking videos and they are just super helpful in terms of my career, especially the situations when I felt extremely helpless and did not know what I should proceed. And BTW, videos created by you guys, at the very least, in my opinion, deserve more views and followers! And you guys' accent and way of speaking remind me of the time when I was preparing for my TOFEL examination, which I missed a lot! Anyways, thank you guys so much for this candid and honest sharing, and watching every video is more like attending an enlightening lecture.
Thanks so much Angus, that means a lot ☺️
Love this. After school, it really hits you that the search for meaning in our lives is profound and never-ending. Hopefully, we each learn to be honest with ourselves and live the life that we dream of, not of what others expect us to. Love this vulnerability and definitely relate to it as a medical doctor who is still searching for my purpose, what makes me genuinely happy.
For sure - the open-endedness of the search feels both daunting and exciting! All the best :)
Beautiful Em
Hi Em. Thanks for making this video. Many people who are in a transition at a similar age can resonate with you a lot!
I'm sure you'd figure out what your next move is.
Most people who follow ordinary advice end up having an ordinary life......
It's daunting to think that our lifetime is already 1/3 or 1/2 past...
I practice active appreciation and being grateful a lot.
Weirdly, sometimes I'm thankful that I don't have kids and have a family yet.
I'm sure you're familiar with how people act in a family court and how they fight for custody and all that....
Haha anyways, thank you for sharing. Maybe Lloyd can share some lessons with us in the next video too :) LA looks good
Thanks Aidan! Love that you mentioned active appreciation/being grateful, those are definitely key (and also help ease the daunting feeling that life is flying by). As for kids/family, I think it's just about doing what's right for you :)
Your 30's Are Better Than Your 20's. 💯
love the new hairdo
Em and flyod nice vid very nice
I will turn 30 next year. so agree with you.
I turned 30 this year as well and I'm also trying to transition out of the finance world into creative. I thought this would be the way to success and happiness but I'm miserable.
I'm also a corporate lawyer and I can definitely relate with you! But I'm just 24 and I'm starting this, so it's hard to conclude so fast that I don't want this for the rest of my life, even though I can feel it right now. Any advice? Btw. I admire how brave you are! such an inspiration💜
Advice? that feeling is there for a reason. It aint gonna go away until you make it go away. I am 26, just stepped away from law in my final year, best thing i could have done for myself. Only you will know if the decision is for you. but you gotta be real with yourself.
Peace and blessings
Key, potentially eye-opening question: who's to say what is ok and what is not ok?
If I say it is not ok to feel not ok and you say it is ok, who's the judge to verify who's right and who's wrong?
Early gang
The start reminded me of a WongFu video.
I’m turning into 30 this October. It’s a little frustrating to think about it since I haven’t completed or unsure what I’m working for and still cannot find what I really want.
Step 1 - Sit down, write out all the things you're passionate about
Steps 2 - Find a way to monetize your passion/s
Step 3 - ?
Step 4 - Profit
That's me in a few months' time.
your camera has a good mic? how do you keep your voice clear while filming the video? i don't see any portable mic on you.
We use an on-camera shotgun mic!
@@EmandLloyd thank you, the dear pair of you🙂
Wow you are much younger than me ... I am turning 40
Hi Em, back in USA?
Just visiting for a bit!
I would have such reflection if I can made the next payment due date.
I turned 30 today 😢
Holy shit, you're only 30. I feel so unaccomplished.
Wait till u turn 45. 30s still inexperienced.
damnnn its going to be hard for a women to have kids at 30+ years old...
That's if they even want to have kids at all or not both perfectly fine.