Living Up to Your Parents’ Expectations
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- čas přidán 5. 03. 2015
- Let’s be real: for some reason we are always striving to please mom and dad, even in our adulthood. Watch “The Real” ladies open up about their experiences and share helpful advice on letting go of other people’s expectations.
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How can tamera be beautiful, intelligent humble, loving, inspiring, down to earth, a great Christian, wise, friendly, nonjugdemental,caring, motherly and successful all at once?!! Her parents did a great job! She needs her own show
Her parents did such an amazing job! she is so beautiful inside and outside.
I agree but she had her own show already but her & her twin decided not to renew the new season but it's was an enjoyable show ☺️😊
lol...why is she not a missionary pastor's wife.
Jackie Omorogbe lol, I don't think that's a hard thing to do? to find those characteristics in one person is not as uncommon as people think.
I was a Tamera fan in part because of how wonderful she seems as a person; having seen her on this and her reality show. However I was really disappointed with a picture she posted on instagram after the Charlie Hebdo shooting. My younger sister followed her and politely advised her in a very polite manner that the picture was extremely offensive to Muslims. Tamera responded by blocking her and everyone else who discussed it and deleting it. To me it was so offensive and encouraged the hate Muslims campaign of that month. Since then I've just been really disappointed with her.
Loved this. I can relate to Jeannie here. Coming from an African family, the standards are super high. But my mom made a great point. As a woman, especially in the African community, it can be easy to get disrespected by men when you don't have much going for yourself, so you can't depend on any man or anyone but yourself, and education is the door to that.
Yep! I wish more people understood the value of education. In addition to creating employment opportunities, it opens your mind. You can tell when someone is educated or well read just from the way they speak.
😢😡 🏦🏬🗾🏨
@@humanitarianharjot402 I hope you're knowledge of "Anti-depressants" has grown since your post. I have a hereditary mental illness, it's a must that I take my meds. God and my meds are the only reason that I'm still on this earth, to watch my adult children flourish and my grandchildren grow. Please do your research.
@@dorisnoel7881 thanks for your reply. I'm so sorry the way that came off... the way it did - my word choices were wrong, I apologize for that...🙏I'm so happy you care for your child and living for them, shows your a great caregiver. When they're older they will take care of you. 🙏🌿🍃~
I've been watching the real videos for literally the past two hours 🙌
Me too
lol we've all had those days. I've done my share of binge watching!
i watch them every day
Try past 2 days!Not even exaggerating...that's all I've been watching on CZcams recently 😅
For me the past 6 days
Adrienne's mom is everything for that. I like today's topics. No shade, just good talk.
I've been watching clips of the real for literally 6 hours now.... omggg. hooked.
Me too, like every single day.
yessss
K Money meee tooo!😂😂😍😍
😂😂
Instead of parents telling their children to be a doctor or lawyer, they need to be teaching them how to save money!!! You should want your child to always be financially stable so they won't have to depend on anybody!
I love what Adrienne said about how her mom pressures her to help people and make a difference. I love me some Mama Nilda! Such a great person.
There's something about Tamera man, like the light of the Holy Spirit just shines through her. God is so good
Living with Sickle Cell my mom expectations for me was to never to handicap myself meaning to always know I have sickle cell, sickle cell DONT have me. She always wanted me to LIVE my life to the fullest and don't let my disease hold me back!
Princess Young do you have sickle cell also??
Yes
Tywanna Grice That is great! I hope you are getting through this very well! You have a great and right attitude about this.
Princess Young Keep that awesome and positive attitude! It will help carry you through : )
CalLady J. Thanks I try even tho some days are harder then others I still try to ALWAYS keep a big smile on my face!!
I think it's fine for parents to have expectations for their kids, but I feel they should keep their expectations realistic and also understand that their child will make mistakes here and there.
Can we have more REAL conversations like this?
Superstar 101 😂😂😂
Adrienne's mom it'll be me as a mom for real
yes!
+Maria Solano Mmmhmm. Adrienne's mom was the only one whose parenting I was really feeling. Raising good people is the most important thing to me. Even education and career aren't as important to me.
Adrienne and Tamera tho. Always looking real fly and gorgeous without even trying. they don't need crazy make up or weaves to look beautiful, they just look stunning effortlessly :)
They both wear weaves though...
trust me, i know that. all the girls wear weaves, what i'm saying is they don't need to wear weaves with crazy colors or out of this world style, keeping it simple and classy makes them stand out than the rest.
I have never seen Adrianne "effortless"
feefeeA neither have I lol
When they dressed up in their Halloween costumes... Adrienne was a cop, fully clothed with her hair pin up & a hat. That was a time she was *effortlessly* beautiful.
Great discussion today ladies!! & Jeannie, I feel for you girl! It's not just an Asian thing! African parents hammer education into their children so much! A doctor, politician or lawyer seems like the only thing that is successful to them!
same with latinos...likes its so easy...Im all for following your passion and dreams but unfortunately those of us who have lower socioeconomic status can't really follow our dreams cause dreams don't pay the bills..
Candy Flores Girllll aint that the truth! I agree with you but happiness is so important to me! I can't live my life for someone else! I just can't!
jodiii122 Ive learned to live my life to the best that I can given my upbringing lol its just fun remembering these types of things
@@sandyboo2 not true boo. Have faith.
My mother's expectations, for me, have always been simple: safety, happiness, and stability.
I honestly think Tamera could really be a motivational speaker. Her genuine spirit and natural wisdom can really do things in this world.
I agree with Tamar's expectation for her son. Going to university/college and embarking on that further education is really important, because when all else fails, whether its social media, entertainment etc, your education is the one thing that will not fail you.
I agree with Tamar but TBH college isn't for everyone especially growing up the way I did we could barely afford to keep food on the table and nowadays college is very expensive so I had to learn the best way I could
I also think it's extremely important to make kids aware of different trades they can learn. My high school gave us an opportunity to learn a trade while we were still in school, right around the 11th grade. Most kids think college is the only option, I personally think if you can obtain a college degree as well as learn a trade then your opportunities open up a bit more. I'm almost done with my degree but I really wish I would've taken advantage of the trade option when I was in high school.
Obama's trying to pass a law where two years of community college is free. That's good because in two years you can get a business degree and start getting paid internships. College isn't for everyone, but if that law passes, then many more people in America will be successful and living the "good life" so to speak.
+dj_oldskool A lot of schools offer full ride tuition to students who grew up poor.
NYCzora What schools would that be?
+Love Alexis (LoveNaturally) Ivy League schools (Harvard, Yale, Princeton, etc). Other schools as well. I went to Yale and I know a couple of students from poor backgrounds who received full scholarships.
Loni wasn’t kidding when she said, “One outta two aint bad” 😩♥️
It is so hard to live up to your parents expectations. My dad is ok ,but the pressure comes from my mom.😔
I agree with Tamera. At some point a parent needs to let their child learn things on their own. Many parent's reasoning behind their high expectations is that they want to "protect" their children from things and to make sure they don't fail. But here's the problem with that, how is your child going to learn the valuable life lessons without trial and error? Parents need to allow their children to explore and figure out who they are and decide what they want to do with their lives.
Adrienne and Tamar's lip colors were fabulous!
I love Adrienne's mom's views.
I can relate to what Jeannie said being from a African family( Nigerian to be precise) my parents had a lot of expectations about my future but in life people change and I love my education in college studying African and African Americans history in college, I do thank my parents for teaching my siblings and I the value of discipline, morals and values in my daily lives to impact positivity to people around me. Growing up in Nigeria really made me to appreciate the value of being educated and installing values in my life
igbo boy!!!!
uchenna1997 thanks G But I can really really relate to what Jennie is saying we Africans have high expectations from our parents and it has really helped us to be better people in society
it really does. i understand what your saying.
Steven Chukwu Very true,they've seen poverty first hand and want to ensure you have something that can guarantee you'll never be hungry.I'm grateful my Nigerian parents spent all their dime sending 6 of us to school,I can say it was worth it but now I'm finding my passions alongside my profession too.
Steven Chukwu fellow Igbo person here✋🏽
I know college is not for everyone, but I wish Tamar had've gone.
Also, LOVE the parenting style that Adrienne said her mum has. I think more parents should have such moral expectations of their children.
I think she wishes she had gone too. All of her sisters went and I know for sure Towanda and Trina finished.
Love Alexis I honestly think she still could if she really wanted to.
C Fas Sure she could but I'm sure she probably doesn't see the point now.
Tamar did go to college and Trina was the only one to finish out of the girls.
McKenzie Tomlinson Really. I didn't know that
I love that, Adrienne! If you're going to pressure to do anything, it should be to make a difference in other people's lives!
I liked what all of the women had to say.
tamera is wise beyond her years! her mom did well!
isnt she like 40?
+Gabrielle Johnson i dont think so... idk
Nefertiti Negus she's close
Tamar & Tamera gave us that real today.
"Don't get pregnant. Don't get shot. One out of two ain't bad.. just joking" weird to think Loni said this was a joke at the time but now in the more recent episodes she opened up about her miscarriage so she wasn't joking after all
Comedians deal with pain with humor.
I think she was referring to when she was in school. Her miscarriage i think was when she was out school. I could be wrong though
AMEN, Tamar!
Wow Tamar actually had a level-headed conversation for once without waving her hand around or screeching!
That's more than i can say for you Cercei.
Shakera Anderson yes! ! adult words indeed.
I mean, its not the 1st. But i saw a deeper seriousness in this one, and i want to say it's because it's about her son. She don't play bout her son.
you right but you low key tried it
her mom puts her head in a level headed place.
Its great to see them have a conversation where all of them are getting along and being friendly to one another without shade and nastiness. keep it up ladies =)
The transition between parents and their children can be hard for some. Like Temara said, you've to learn when to let go. The overprotective mother or father ain't cool bc what it says you live in fear where you never trust even God to take care of them. None of us can produce a humans. These are God's creation. Let's believe humans can do their parts while we trust God to ultimately take care of his children. I also think when kids start to become adult, parents may need, to adjust to start to relate to their children from an adult level. That is, you speak to them as adults, you listen, you never tell them what to do, although, you give advices, most times when they ask. Sit bk, you drink your wine, go on vacations with your hobby, volunteer, laugh, trust you've done a great job.
You've got to help children transition into adulthood. You let them take accountability for their actions, where sometimes, you relax to allow them solve their own probs. Unless, in difficult aituations then offer to help. When they grow, you grow with them. You try to change how you approach them about anything. I said, try because we're humans fallible to mistakes. Thou, we try.
I like what Adrienne's mother does. She's more concern about their characters than anything else which is amazing. We should compliment our parents when they do this, as they too should a compliment in terms of our character.
Parenting also takes wisdom. Let's always ask God. Thank God for our parents. It takes hardwork!
Go ahead Tamar! I love her outfit, makeup, comments....everything in this clip!!! ;O)
In this clip, she was literally PERFECT!
I'd really like to hear their thoughts about if their kids were gay... I think that would be interesting.
Yea me too
Right!!!! Its def a possibility. But I guess its something parents dont like to think about.
Me too. But I genuinely think they would be fine with it. Its more of Vince and Adam's reaction I would want to know , since I dont know this as much.
Jacklyn Napon I'm gay myself, I wouldn't wish it upon my kids though. I wouldn't want them to go through the stress I endured and still am because of it. Oh no
I don't think they will talk about that. I know Tamar, Tamera and Adrienne are quiet religious and you know that is forbidden.
my mom passes away when I was 10 years old so I don't k ow what her expectations were, but my dad always told me to never let my disability limit me in my life. meaning don't use you disability as an excuse. I am disabled but I don't think I am because I never let my disability limit me.
Tamera is just glowing! OMG & I love the chemistry of the show, its getting better and better and its so great to see so many different personalities getting along and shining at the same time.
My fathers expectations have always been go to school get a career not a job and be financially stable so I will never have to depend on anyone (especially a man)
My mother expectations have always been "do the right thing" and always think twice before you act or speak and most importantly be happy every time I see her she always has to ask if I'm happy they are the best I love them and I just wanna make them proud
If I was wearing a wig, Tamar would have snatched it hunny! She was preaching the truth this episode! Yes God!
Adrienne your outfit is CHEETAHLICIOUS!!
So much love and respect for what Tamar said about raising her son
I love that there are 5 completly different women and you get different answers from all of them and I can always conect with one of them. 😊
I stopped trying to please my parents when I got married. I couldn't do it anymore, a weight was lifted off my shoulders after I got married and I make the smart choice to please my husband.
Probably the greatest thing I have ever heard Tamar say. So glad these moms are thinking that way (:
I love Tamar and Tamera's advice!
Tamera is such a sweet woman 😪 do you guys remember when people were giving her backlash about marrying a white man? I could tell that just broke her heart she's so beautiful
My father always says stuff like your gonna be a doctor and a very successful woman and it just scares me because I'm 12 and I don't believe I could do that.
Choose to do something that makes u happy and gives u stability. And don't worry about it, cause at the end of the day when he says "be a doctor" it probbly means "don't be broke".
Don't worry! You have so much life ahead of you. Do what you love & understand that your dad wants you to be happy. :) What you're doing doesn't matter, as long as you are happy.
one of the best conversations I've seen them have. It wasn't all about joking and men. I love that stuff, but this was real. It was diverse. It had many perspectives. I have new understanding.
Adrienne & Tamera's mom's sounds like my kind of people. I will prioritize the quality of person; heart, soul, morals....are you nice? Do people feel your goodness genuinely? You can't direct someone's course (re: career and lifestyle) but you can clearly influence your kids to be good people and care about other people in the world. :) YAS Tamar/Tamera! I'm so inspired by these ladies. Love them all!
I have to say, maybe this is my fav show. I wait to hear about what they are talking EVERYDAY. Great topics! Well done! love from Israel
I will do anything on this earth for my mom. She's the reason for my accomplishments and aspirations. I can only hope to become half the woman she is
Adrienne loves her family much. what a beautiful blessing.
i fucked up so much in the past and i honestly think it was because every time i did something wrong or bad it was magnified and never acknowledged for the good things i have done.
I once told my mother that I wanted to be a journalist and she didn't put me down she was encouraging me and I wanted to know about myself and she would help me
All the moms need to be guest on the show... TOGETHER!
Love jt Loni. In a area where I live with high unemployment and increasing crime rates and benefit raise. Just existing is a massive goal.
Oh My GODDDD, Tamar Braxton Herbert!!!! That is how I feel about parenting a boy child! Yesssssssssss! Adrienne's mom has inspired me. We need more of this!
I liked what Tamar said near the end
Love what Tamar said
Great group of REAL women in this panel
Adrienne's mom sounds exactly like my mom, and my mom is the absolute best.
I agree with Adrienne on this one because my parents are the same they always preached kindness to us. My parents brought us up always telling us one of the worst things a person can be in life is judgemental and unkind. My mama has always said 'Never look down on anyone unless you're helping them up'. Also growing up I saw how hard my parents worked to pay the mortgage and give us a good life and they instilled that strong work ethic in us. They also encouraged us to have careers where we are helping and caring for people in some way
The Tamar and Tamera mummy discussion gave me goose bumps!!!! Although im 21, one day I do hope to become a mummy (Insha'Allah) and the top of my list most definitely for raising a child is to ensure whatever they do in life they are supported by ME and are genuinely HAPPY. Happiness is everything 🙏
I think its important that parents are attentive to their children's gifts from a very early age so that they do not unknowingly squash their child's potential in trying to force them to do what they think they should do instead of what they were created to do. I believe every child is born with a mission inside of them, and our job as parents is not to force them into a mold that we believe they should live in, but to watch for what they are naturally bending toward and to encourage those things in the best ways possible.
When we force our kids to do what we want them to do, we end up creating robotic people who are wilting up on the inside. People that go out into life with no real sense of self or creativity. Don't set a bar for your child that is not as much for them as it is for you, yet, don't be loose with your children to the point where they never get to see what real work, drive and discipline can birth in their lives.
Id have to agree. Childrens natural gifts and talents should be valued. Parents expectations can be too much for some children.
I felt this way at one point in my life, but what is life without your own mistakes? your own goals? your own struggles? I feel we all have our life to live and staying in guided lines all the time (restricted/sheltered) will only hinder experiences. I always listened to my parents and their interests/advice but I have learned alot on my own and it has taught me a lot. But I always love them for being there!
Listening to this I came out with a different perspective. Being in a masters program at 26 makes me feel like education is taking a toll.. Like I've spent almost 3 decades of my life in a classroom and have yet to feel like I've made a substantial mark in this world yet
Tamera looks FLAWLESS! And tbh they all look beat
Adrienne your hair looks way better in this brown color than that fake blonde you sometimes wear. BEAUTIFUL!!
Yupp had to move out of my grandparents house cause they wanted me to do what they wanted. And I kept telling them it's my life and I wanna live it the way I feel is right. Like Jeannie said I have a plan, but unlike her they didn't care that I had a plan, now that I don't live with them anymore they trust my plan more though.
Caribbeans man...
THAT'S the reason I'm not close to my mom anymore. She was mocking me and laughing because I would only start out with $30,000 a year. She doesn't understand that I don't want a $70,000 job that I hate. I want to move up with a job I like.
Tamera's voice is so calm & soothing. Love hearing her speak.
I swear I jus love tamera so much..she's such a great role model and so positive! ♥♡
Wow Adrienee you look so beautiful. Your hair, make up & outfit is amazing.
My mom was a really hardcore tiger mom when I was little and I remember freaking out when I got a 97 on a test because I knew she would yell at me for not getting a 100
Update. Where are you today?
Jeanie thank you so much for this I'm going thru this rn cause I'm in college and now. And I tried your advice, and them knowing I have a plan is helping
Girl Yasssssss, I be feeling the pressure of it all
Lmao @tamar. Superstar 101 😂😂😂
YES AND YES Tamar, Tamera and Adrienne
Adrienne's mother is like the perfect model of a puertorican mom.
A lot a parents don't realize that not having expectations for their kids will impact them greatly. Some individuals have a number of kids and don't know his/her responsibility as a parent. Excellent topic.
Tamar looks cute here and Love Tamera's outfit!
I am so excited to watch The REAL everyday via youtube.... thank you so much ladies I have learned so much especially being a newly wed. You ladies always keep it real and always look super beautiful. Thank you so much Keep keeping it Real.
Love you guys.@tamaramowry, thank you super much more and u made my birthday even more special when you got married on it. #HAPPINESS #BLESSED. #SouthAfricaLove
Wow learning so much from yall admiring lady's
I want Tamera to be my life coach.
Loving tameras hair ...
I was with Tamar until she said "You a dude, you have to go to college."
I agree with you and shared my views in another conversation. I think it may well be that Tamar did not realise the implications of her stressing the fact that he was a man in encouraging him to go to college, in relation to her somewhat lacklustre desire to go herself.
I wish she (and Adrienne for that matter) had've gone to college, but as you said college is not for everyone.
All the best with your studies!!
Adrienne bailon mother expectations are like my mother
I absolutely love Adrienne and Tamera! My faves
My parents never really put too much pressure on me and just wanted me to be happy and wanted the best for me. I put pressure on myself to please them. If I feel that they don’t like something about me, I change it. For instance, when my mom or Dad yell at me or say something kind of harsh it makes me feel like I have failed them and that if I were the child they really loved, they wouldn’t be yelling at me. It broke my heart to see them upset more so when I thought it was my fault. I always blamed myself and they never got that. I wish they expedited more from me but I expect lots from myself. Anyway, if your parents are any like mine just try to remember that know matter what they love you for you. And sometimes I have to remember that myself. Easier said than done.
They're all so pretty!❤❤❤
Tamera has such a beautiful soul
The funny part is that not everyone has that drive for gaining their parents' approval to get whatever feeling Tamar's talking about at 1:27. I find it difficult to explain to that type of person why gaining my parents' approval was important to me. I think Americans are ingrained with that "goal".
I think being a first generation child is always very stressful. My parents being immigrants and from dirt poor families came to Canada to achieve a better life. I understand where Jeannie is coming from when she says that they think higher-paying careers that requires a strict education is the best option. That kind of forced me to try to study to become a Pharmacist but realizing that that path was not for me and switching my majors was such an emotional thing for me to do because my parents told EVERYBODY (even people they met for the first time) how they were so proud of me and what I was doing. I held off telling my parents about my plan change for about a year because I was scared I was going to disappoint them.
omgggg I thought I was the only one doing this lol 😂😂😂😂💀
I love these women!
The five of them was magic
I looooove this jeannie, so much more confident, not afraid to speak up, i feel like she blends in more with the others while remaining herself. I love you gorgeous, keep it up. But holllld up!! Adrienne adopted a child??
I cut that influence, that pressure out of my life by 21.
I agree 💯% with Tamar
Poor Jeannie 😂 never gets a word in or has to wait till the end