Negative Core Belief Schema & Toxic Shame: Part 2
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- čas přidán 20. 12. 2020
- In part two of this two-part mini-series, Lana Seiler (MSW, LCSW, Associate Director of Clinical Operations at APN Lodge) continues addressing negative core belief schemas and toxic shame. Visit apnlodge.com/behavioral/pract... to learn APN's approach to trauma therapy for toxic shame.
In this episode, Lana answers questions like:
Is a negative belief schema typically conscious or unconscious?
At what point in life does it usually start?
How does this translate into the poor behaviors I see in myself in adulthood?
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All Points North Lodge is a comprehensive wellness and personal development campus surrounded by spectacular Colorado’s Rocky mountain views just outside Vail. APN Lodge offers mental health and addiction treatment with a trauma emphasis and family focus. APN Lodge’s integrated treatment model focuses on the connections between trauma, stress, addiction, coping skills, and family systems. Two distinct tracks allow you to make progress in mental and physical health. Stay connected long-term through our APN App, community support, and telehealth.
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Why do these videos not have more views? CZcams algorithm get it together! I stumbled on this and it’s like falling into a pot of gold knowledge.
Gosh, I always learn so much from Lana. I feel like I watch 7 minutes of her talking and then have 7 months of introspection to do. So grateful for therapists like her.
❤❤
You have such a calming attitude. It's therapeutic to watch and listen to you. Thank you.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this video! If you want to see and hear more of Lana, you should check out her podcast "Therapy Unboxed with Lana Seiler" on this youtube channel or on Apple Podcasts/Spotify!
Oh my God, I'm so glad I found this. It's like facing everything that is holding me back...and i'm not afraid to do so. This professional is so so so amazing
"Thank you for the kind words. Happy to hear you are looking to face the barriers! This is meant to be informational only so locating a provider is important." - Lana
Understand...how to resolve all these core belief issues??
Wow! It's almost like you have a magic power and just peered into my entire life, mind, and inner dialogue. I really wish this information was taught in high school. I'm almost fifty now and I am just learning vital, important information about life and relationships that I should have learned thirty years ago. Thank you for this! This is a gift! Thank you!!!
Thank you for the kind words! I am so glad you are exploring this for yourself! - Lana S.
In some cases relief of shame requires too much energy on improving one's material wellbeing. Those are cases when the feeling of boundaries violation is chronic because it's caused by a traumatic and unhealthy pregnancy period which makes a person a little bit subtile and physically weak. In these cases you always have to watch yourself in order to prevent one's burnout in trying to succeed. That's really exhausting! So I consider state-of-the-art technologies gently working with human anatomical tissues, such as bones growing, as a future, not only for people who had injuries but also for psychology at all! 🙂
"Hi, I don’t think I am familiar with the treatment you are describing . I’m glad you found something that helps you, and I hear it’s tiring." - Lana
Very helpful and your voice is beautiful!!
Thank you so much for the kind words and for your viewership! We're glad you enjoyed this video, if you're interested in hearing more from Lana you should check out her podcast "Therapy Unboxed with Lana Seiler"! Those episodes are available on our channel as well as Apple Podcasts and Spotify!
This all resonates so much. I've gone to many therapists and nothing ever improves. Leaves me thinking i can't be helped
"I firmly believe all of us can be helped. If this resonates, I would suggest bringing up these theories when interviewing new therapists." - Lana
This was a very worthy watch!
"Thanks! I also have a podcast Therapy Unboxed if you are interested in more content." - Lana
You can find episodes of Therapy Unboxed with Lana Seiler here: bit.ly/4a6OMAW
Thank you so much for your beautiful work. The concept of using seemingly benign strategies in excess to distance oneself from issues is fascinating and relevant to so many of us.
You're so welcome! We're so happy you found this video and connected with us! Lana is an exceptional therapist and does a great job of making therapy digestable.
Thank you so much
How to repare these beliefs?
Yes, it's very unconscious. Which is unresolved. The inner child never received the guidance or mentoring we required. Yes, emotional dysregulation is very real. Many have difficulties in co regulation. We have been conditioned to believe no one will be their for us. We are very self sufficient, and reliant. This puts us in survival mode. We end up living a life of quiet desperation. Alone and very guarded. This was the chaotic childhood we had experienced. She never mentioned that the sadness and lonliness of such a person is unprecedented.
"It sounds like you are describing and anti-dependent reaction to a neglectful caregiving system. This can be terribly lonely and stressful. I would suggest finding a treatment provider who has experience with attachment injury. I don’t know the details of your situation so my thoughts are in general terms." - Lana
@@APNLodge Thanks for your reply. Therapy today is all about labeling the dilemma. For me, it's never gone deep enough to unravel the mystery of neglect, abandonment, and narcissism. It is also difficult finding someone who genuinely understands and is emapathetic to your situation. I wish us both well. God bless you!
What a mindful person. So helpful to do many.
Lana is the best! Thank you so much for the support!
Thanks for making these!
You're very welcome! We're exceptionally proud of our incredible staff and the clarity they provide on mental health topics.
Are core beliefs and inner child the same thing? You can live a lie your whole life, based on wrong core beliefs you learned through trauma when you were young. And that's so sad, the wasted years.
Not exactly. Our negative core beliefs are the messages that were given to us at a young age and they “run” in the background like an outdated operating system. They often influence our adult decisions without us consciously even realizing it. Our “inner child” is the part(s) of us that’s still developmentally young. Sometimes we see our younger selves come out when we are triggered in adulthood. For example, you may react to something in adulthood similarly to the way you reacted as a child or teenager. Our “inner child” believes the negative messages and often carries pain, shame, and fear but the good news is we can work with our younger self and help that part of us see that those negative core beliefs aren’t entirely true. That’s how deep healing can happen and negative core beliefs can be re-worked.
Absolutely brilliantly explained. Struggling with this stuff has practically killed me
We're so glad Lana is able to provide some help and clarity to understanding this situation. If you ever need someone to talk to about your situation, please reach out! Our team, Lana included, are here for you. apnlodge.com/contact/
@@APNLodge Thank you. That is v heart- warming
I recently had to abruptly walk away from a friend I care about after trying to work out a bump but she wouldn't own her part. My body still is recovering from 14 years of covert Narc abuse and so my body is my barometer...if my body is freaking out, I NEED to listen and walk away.
Weeks later another good friend said walking away from friendships abruptly with no explanation is "ignorant." This hurt my feelings. And this one comment has had me obsessively questioning my decision to walk away from this friend ever since 🤦🏻♀️
I feel like a horrible person.
I’m a fan of listening to our bodies. It could be that your "system" (body/mind complexities) is a little hypersensitive to any narcissistic traits being that you were in a 14-year abusive relationship. All of us have some undesirable traits. That doesn't mean we meet the criteria for disorders. A friend not owning their part is frustrating, but that alone doesn't make them a narcissist. Depending on how long and close the friendship was it may feel like overkill for you to walk away over this to the other person. At the same time, I understand you need time to recalibrate. I always recommend seeing a professional because one paragraph can't possibly show the whole picture here. Healing takes time and very often therapeutic intervention.
Easy solution. Introduce them to each other and tell the person who accused you of being ignorant that this is the person and let them deal with it
Liked ur vdo .
Wat are core emotions ??
Hey :) i would like to ask you- what do we do about our negative core beliefs? Is it just therapy in general or can we work on it on our own? Also, which type of therapist should i see- can it be just clinical psychologist with psychodynamic approach, or is CBT more useful?
I’d say we can absolutely work on these beliefs on our own and becoming aware of them is the first step in that process. The thoughts connected to these beliefs are often so fast it’s hard to catch them. For example, you see an opening for a position, a flash automatic thought of “you won’t get it anyway” flies through your consciousness (connected to an “I will fail” core belief). Then you pass on applying. Catching that thought and the feelings associated and then using rational mind to challenge the thoughts and skills to self soothe is helpful. As for a clinician, I would ask them directly how they work with negative core beliefs. - Lana S.
Unfortunately my parents used shame to control, this was over done it did so much damage, I'd love to just deprogram from it any way possible . Thank you for this topic and suggestions to ditch it.
"I’m glad the information was helpful. It might also be helpful to find a treatment provider that can assist with moving through this." - Lana
How do you correct this
would love to see a video on intensity cycles. It was a bit inaudible...who calls it intensity cycles?
If memory serves me I grabbed that term from Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody. Intensity cycles are what we use to put distance between us and the excessive responsibility we agree to in relationships. Intensity cycles are a good topic for my podcast Therapy Unboxed! Great idea! spoti.fi/3O6yz4a
Do you know of any good recovery places in Denver,CO that do treatment looking at both angles like yourself
Hi Olivia, Thank you so much for reaching out, we would love to help you get connected to treatment in the Denver area! When you're ready, please give us a call and we'll help point you in the right direction. 855.232.8217 Our team is standing by to help you.
Are there videos on these intensity cycles?
We don't have anymore videos on the intensity cycles yet, but that's a really great topic idea. We'll put that on our list for future videos. In the meantime, feel free to give us a call at 9704016797 if you'd like.
Genetics controls it all.
Genetics definitely has a part to play in our emotional well being and mental health, however there are lots of contributing factors including but not limited to childhood trauma that come into play when talking about Negative Core Beliefs.
Awesome content but why the loud background music, it makes the whole thing hard to understand
Thank you for watching, we're glad you enjoyed the content! We'll keep your notes in mind as we create fresh content.
Where is part 1 ?
czcams.com/video/ARqB_fbznoo/video.html