Ask The Unfaithful Episode 19: What are the Signs of Denial in the Life of the Unfaithful?

Has your partner ever accused you of being in denial about your choices or the impact of your affair? Maybe your mate continues to communicate to you in a way that makes you feel they are in absolute denial about the impact of their choices or that they have hurt you at all? It can seem as though their use of denial is conscious and even weaponized as a form of coping with their choices internally, without any regard for how it affects their loved ones. The truth is, it can be both conscious as well as subconscious. As you'll hear today, denial while very common, is a complex, powerful and very destructive psychological self-protective defense mechanism. It's a muddled kind of thinking and
reasoning that involves the unconscious or conscious refusal, or avoidance, to
acknowledge or accept the reality, and consequences of one's thoughts, actions and behaviors. Especially when we act out or our acting out is of a compulsive or addictive
nature, denial is an attempt to manage and understand the chaos caused by our
acting out behaviors. Today we'll not only discuss what denial looks and sounds like but we'll categorically identify the symptoms and signs of it, including the negative impact and how to actually overcome denial in the life of the unfaithful. Rest assured, there is a way out of denial and there is a pathway to healing for both the unfaithful and for the betrayed.
#infidelity #hopeforhealing #affairrecovery #affairs #betrayal #betrayaltrauma #ptsd #cptsd #samshealingpodcast #addictionrecovery
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[@Beth-AnneLye]

Listening to you two brings tears to my eyes, while offering hope at the same moment. Your thoughts, words and personal growth are in abundance

[@thebluebutterfly5177]

I am once again, so grateful for this video to clarify my thoughts and keep me sane🙏🏻

[@UnderstandingLimerence]

When you find out after you talked to your husband on the phone he listens to “little miss can’t be wrong” and then when he sees the divorced woman at church, that has messed with every man either through text or physically, that will play her games. he plays “Do you wanna touch me there?” Or “I hate myself for loving you”, he had 8 favorites he played after seeing her on Wed. Nights when I couldn’t be there. There is no hope, is there? So much more to this 9 year texting emotional affair story. Makes me sick and I’m the problem because as he always tells me “You’ll never get over this” and I ask him “What?” and then he can’t talk, I mean seriously. When all this pops up in our lives he actually cannot talk. What is that about? The hardest stonewall you’ve ever seen. I know he needs the 12 step program badly but that will never happen. How I found out is such a crazy story because I had no reason to believe this was going on but all the signs were right in front of me. ….She sent a text at the wrong time of the night and SHAZAM there it all was in front of my eyes. We were sound asleep and his phone went off on his desk in the study and she actually sent two messages that night and I then found everything because I went out to get the phone to shut off the annoying notification sound. It’s been a different life since then. It’s so evil to do this to someone. Proverbs 5-6-7 takes you to hell and back: Every second, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months. 2.5 years into this mess. But Still hanging on.

[@rajeshbajaj2505]

Every insight is so very helpful. Keep doing more such videos

[@Beth-AnneLye]

Brilliant points. As the betrayed, looking for better understanding, this video, well all of your videos, have shown that there's a path forward.

[@lindijohnsonnyarc3956]

I'm the betrayed spouse listening to this..I am desperate to not just throw in the towel on our marriage. Denial, being a victim, justifying, villainizing..etc. If hes doing these things, what does that mean for my marriage? Should I walk?