Psycho Girlfriends Are Making Men Sign Contracts
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- čas přidán 22. 05. 2020
- How insecure can you be?
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"You're not allowed to have any single girl's number"
Well I have your number
"But I'm not single"
Now you are
That’s just perfect
Played to perfection.
Now that's a lot of damage!
I would do that
hahaha
The only contract I’m signing is a divorce
Haha
OoOoF
😂🤣👍
OOOOooOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOOHHHHhhHhHHHHH
Hehe 69 likes
A wise man once said “relationships are temporary but gaming is forever”
Girlfriend is temporary but DOOM is ETERNAL
So wise
@@kakyoin2362 also *very* wise
@A very original name
In the first age in the first battle when the shadow first lengthend one stood he chose the path of perpetual torment in his ravenous hatred he found no peace with boiling blood he scoured the umbral planes seeking Vengeance against the dark Girlfriend feminists who had wronged him and those who had tasted the bite of his Xbox one controller named him the DOOM slayer
That’s a really wise man.
If your gf gives you a contract, say this to her:
"If you want me to love you unconditionally, then why do you give me conditions?"
This comment here-
Preach man, the perfect comment
@Imperio Español chris rock
Amen.
Imperio Español amazing quote
Be grateful if your girlfriend gives you one of these at the start of a relationship. You get to dump her much earlier and save yourself a lot of drama.
Lol
Had us in the first half😂
Nice tip 👍
Facts
With a contract or without nothing really change's lol.
If you need to sign a contract with your girlfriend, it should be a restraining order
Or a birth certificate
@@TheFortniteStorm of course how could i forget about my 2 week old girlfriend
👑
Well, marriage is a legal contract.
Arvban shiiiii
"You are not to ask for head"
It's cool, your sister does it without asking.
That sounds like she be assualitng you
R/cursed comments
Roasted to tempatures higher than suns core
This is cursed. I cannot unsee it...
Considering my sister is underage, have fun with that. There's estimated 500,000 male paedophiles in the UK so I'd at least quadruple that for USA.
"If you have to have a contract in a relationship..."
Me: *Stares nervously at marriage certificate*
That’s not the same thing tho
@@iamaidansmith7542 you're right. But you know what this comment is?
A joke.
Yes
Srry
@@iamaidansmith7542 i mean... its kinda the same
"You are not allowed to have any single girls number"
Let me delete your number real quick then
DESTRUCTION 100
@@newyearlunardeluxe Flawless victory, Fatality
My mom, grandma, aunt, and sister: Aight Imma head out...
f
@@tylerwaynes2107 *outro winning music plays*
"You're not allowed to ask for head"
*all men have left the chat*
Thelondonbadger 😂 it be happening naturally, if you mad dominant and be the man she will go down no matter what
KNEES NOW!
Shouldn't even need to ask.
🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Soooo no head. *slams phone and breaks skateboard*
The only contract I sign is the Geneva convention of 1906 and even then I break every rule of it
This is the perfect joke
Nice
Understandable
yes
Oof, you have my respect. *salutes*
Her: pulls out the relationship contract
Him: pulls out the divorce contract
Her: *(Surprised Pikachu Face)*
If anyone pulled out bs contract i would flip em off and leave
@@ToadallyNormal preach
Feels like the Yigioh meme
Girls when their boyfriend complains about them starting an Onlyfans: “You can’t control me!”
Also girls: *Contracc*
Logic is lost on women bro
@@dvnmnd5020 Not all women. Just only a percentage
underrated comment right here bois.
@Michal Niestepski its a vocal minority most women are normal
666 IQ
Girls: WhY iS hE nOt ReSpOnDiNg To My TeXtS
Also Girls: *wait hours to respond*
Sounds like every dating site/app out there :/ smmhh it's so one sided my guy..
Big facts I know how it feels
So true, I met a girl who takes ages to respond to a text and expects me to respond quickly.
That Leon Pfp. It's a Keeper. (And truuuee)
Yeah, thats my sister and female cousins whenever I wanna check up on them. Even familial relationships be like that
"Steve, as your employer, I must ask: why do you come into my office blindfolded? Is this a joke? An insult?"
"I'm sorry Kayla, it's just that I literally cannot look at another woman. Here's my legal binding..."
"Men are no longer interested in dating women. How could this possibly have happened?"
BecAuse there all nuts
If a man did this he'd be critized for being too controlling/toxic
Ok Meninist
Yeah same goes for women
@@smugtree4874 Ok Karen
Weeb. womens are just.. no
No sane human being would do this.
I would straight up leave if a girlfriend did this stupidity.
Same
Yeah same if i had a girlfriend
evmanbutts same
nice username
Maybe try having an open conversation about it first
If my girl ever did this I would rip the contract in front of her and say “yeah... we’re done.”
That is the correct answer
I'd take it to a shooting range and see how many words I could target
@@ninja23yt and make the girl hold the contract youre shooting
@@norb3695 and say that you missed it but you landed on a headshot
thats what ill literally do and say everyone that she did that so that no others would get harmed by her.
To quote Calvin and Hobbes, "If all of your friends are contract friends, you have no friends."
My friend once asked why do I name some people in my contacts with unusual names, examples (Makaroni, Ilyushin, Bulk, DigBick, etc) I told him to read his own name in my contact, it reads his real full name.
I didn't tell him, but only those who're closest "in this context is dearest, or like brothers / sisters" get those kind of names, rest are just acquaintance.
@@Bakotcha nicely said
CALVIN AND HOBBES FAN YOOOO
ah yes Calvin and hobbes
CALVIN AND HOBBES ENJOYER DISCOVERED
Girlfriend: “I made this contract for our relationship.”
Me: “Excellent, I’ll get this over to my legal team, we’ll review all the details and get back to you with a counter offer as soon as possible.”
Girlfriend: *surprised pikachu face*
The team gotta approve of the list before it can be put into action, yes
My legal team is a M19
The legal team is “Da Boissss”
@@anoldtimer me & the boys designing a better contract while cracking open a couple of cold ones
Counter offer.
The contract is verbal only and can be made void at any moment. You are to sign over all assets to my client before he agrees to this contract. If at any time he decides to end this "relationship" you are to cease all contact with my client and all assets are to remain in his name.
If you disagree there will be no counter offer for my boii wont be a simp.
Fun fact: If he agrees she´ll break up with him within weeks.
💯
Why
@@ultimatewarriors1291 the Moment you do everything a Girl tells you to no Matter what it is, you become boring to her. A breakup Aint far away once that happens.
@@Darknessblade4me true words
@@ultimatewarriors1291 and doing so makes you low value to her
I showed my gf this and she goes "I'm getting you that before we get married" and I said "cool I'll sign it if u sign mine" she replied "what? What u gonna make me sign" me: "oh a prenup"
Run
Run
It’s a scam do not sign it
Run
Run
A wise old man once said, "Give a girl a bag of gold, she will complain that it's too heavy."
GF: There will never be girls at our house
BF: Ok *”kicks gf out of house”*
GF: Hey! Why u ding this!? I thought you love me!
BF: Rules are rules *Chaotic giggles intensify*
As a wise man once said “You cannot enchant a diamond hoe with loyalty”.
@@brickabang - Socrates
*Get Nae-Naed*
Goodluck if they ever have a daughter lol
Boyfriend: just wants a sane girlfriend
Girlfriend: “A nice dream. But dreams are meant to be... *broken.* “
I read sane as sans
Like BUILDINGS! Or peeooplee!
Me: ``So are rules, wich implies I am not holding the rules`` xD
I think you got that saying wrong partner
sad
“You can’t look at a single girl.”
What do you mean? I’m looking at one right now.
“But I’m not single.”
You are now.
I shouldn't be the one to say it but stolen comment 😖
Woman numero uno is forgetting the golden rule of relationships: No-one comes above the boys
Not really, it should be "no one comes above each other"
@@dominguezcharles3069 if a girl stops you being with the people you treat as family as the boys are then she isn't for you and is too controlling
@@dominguezcharles3069 i think you read it wrong. “Above The Boys.” As in, referrin to your homies, DA BOYS. Multiple things on the contract relate to friends, so i believe that’s what his comment was about.
@@glitchydoll I made the same mistake
Girl: *writes a contract taking away all rights of her bf*
Society: Oh that's so cute, she loves him so much!
Man: *writes a contract taking away all rights of his gf*
Society: THIS IS SEXIST AND DISGUSTING, LIFE IN PRISON!!
hahahaaa omg lol
Society is the biggest simp ever.
🤣 and why would society think a constructive way to deal with older white people having "privilege" is openly giving unfair advantages to just about anyone who is a part of a historical group that was oppressed? I'm talking about things like affirmative action, which effectively has allowed universities to accept some minority students with lower standards. I don't know what study this was, but there was one that was done about where SAT scores for certain groups had to be in order to get accepted in elite universities, using Whites who only have academics as the control group. What they found was that Asians had a 50 point disadvantage, Blacks had a 230 point advantage, and a few other groups had other results (athletes having a 200 point advantage). I don't remember the results for other groups, though.
Zah'mar Hillman I liked this solely because it was at 68 likes.
it went from men having literally EVERY SINGLE RIGHT and then tipped over to women being almost above the law
Those 15 dislikes are simps who sign contracts like this
Edit: Thanks for the likes, didnt expect that many lol.
35 now with those simps
Isn't Marriage a contract for a relationship though?
Now 40
@@brandon_Larsen Except the government in involved
brandon Larsen
I mean marriage isn’t even near as controlling as this
Imagine being so insecure you put your boyfriend in a literal prison.
Can’t relate
It's a mental prison
"If we move in, there are to NEVER ever be girls at our house"
*the two manage to stay together and have a daughter*
The guy: mmm yeah...sorry but the daughters gonna need to sleep outside. You know the rules
girl after she made this contract: “wHy DoEs No GuYs WaNnA dAtE mE”
Makes me wonder
guys will date her and a bunch of them. dont understimate simps
The answer is simple, no one with an IQ above room temperature would date a thot
I think a lot of E-Girls say otherwise. And notice what I said there, “a lot”. Not all.
"I DoN't HaVe HiGh StAnDaRdS"
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Single"
"Single who?"
"You."
"Yay!"
No
Whoo hoo
ha.
When all guys were single for a long time : “heh heh yeah yeah... yea” 😔😒
Fellas, if your girl says to choose between her and your gaming career, always remember that a ps5 will never break your heart.
And doesnt spend ur entire paycheck in 5 days
@@rojdar1 yeah bro
@@rojdar1 EA: *doubt*
Any type of lag: 👀
More like PC
Nowadays you have to record your girl giving in consent so she can’t hit you with a false allegation
Ikr imma have a 4k camera and record my future girl giving consent before we do the, let's just say making the bed more squeakier than it should be
Imagine a guy letting his girl walk over him like this. If she’s trying to tell you how to live your life show her the door. Self respect is more important then pu$$y, change my mind😂
No one I gonna try to change your mind, as what you are saying is fact.
Bros before hoes
I blame Michael Scott
What have you been through to sing that? I'm really sorry for that Guy
This is a mind that doesn't need to be changed. Be spittin straight facts.
Who wants to bet “Tyler, Noah, Devon, or Josh” are guys she has been with
Probably the guys she cheated on her boyfriend with..
skojo3e either that or they are her exes 50/50 chance
@@jacktheflash8478 six of one, half a dozen of the other
Without a doubt
who wants to bet she is still with them
Girl: so since were dating imma need you to sign a contract basically giving me full control over you.
Any sane person: *_yeah no_* it’s over
I kinda died inside when I saw in the second contract that its actually signed by the guy. He just made selling his soul to the devil seem weak
Women: "Respond in 10 minutes or else!"
Also Women: *Doesn't respond for hours*
If at all.
nobody like this comment it has the perfect amount of likes
I either reply within 5 seconds or after 5 hours, there is no in between.
The FBI Surveillance Team meow
dang it people you didn't listen
She’s not telling him who he can and cannot be friends with...
She’s telling him he can’t have any friends at all.
Sounds like a strict parent
Abusive. It's ironic, if a man does that it's considered manipulation and isolation. But it seems totally okay when women act abusively.
Got me in the first half ngl
He wants him to be like her.
And she can mess with 4 guys because that's fair
my girlfriend: would you leave me for your frie-
Me: FOR THE BOYS
I kid you not. I know someone, who’s girlfriend made him choose between her and his friends, ended up on the street for a couple weeks.
Bros before hoes
FOR DA HOMIES
gf: would you leave me for your frie-
me: nuh uh. I believe the term you are looking for is THE BOIS. and yes, yes I would
i had to dislike the comment because the likes are at 69, i apologize
If I were to ever run into a girl like this I would just laugh and give her back her contract. Also, curious what's the penalties for breaking the rules?
Read the one with purple red underline, but a lot of it
Or 7th from the bottom
I would probably just do the exact same contract but reversed, and ask is she would sign that (the yeet myself tf outa there)
Optimus: It's not like he's going to cheat on his girlfriend with his mom.
Alabama man: Are you challenging me?
Hentai protagonist: You underestimate my power!
Hahahaha
Americans.
Not America, *Alabama*
Comments like this are why I hate living in Alabama.
If someone ever does this, just leave. Don’t simp
See the problem is SOME man fear that if they leave this person they might never find someone else. Man who have never been asked out are scared of this. And so they just stuck with what they have.
stan 555 cause they’re beta males. You have to have an abundance mindset.
@@ComplexWork dude it's not about being beta to becoming alpha u must be a beta once also i understand sometimes some people don't know that fear is actually the reason most humans stay alive fear of living the world doing nothing fear of never having a family I understand simps are irredemmable but it doesn't come down to being beta or alpha stab555 is right
@@ComplexWork Dude beta and alpha males don't scientifically exist.
@@stan5555 And they can blackmail you with false accusations and a lot of times the Jury is biased
Girl: buys boyfriend game and tries to control when he plays it
Men:buy their own copy so nobody can dictate when they play
Girls:[surprised pickachu face]
Steam: You have no power here!
To those toxic gfs:
We'll steal your hearts, not romantically, but rather metaversal.
We'll strike on Valentine's Day, so be ready.
From,
You Know Who We Are
P. S.: If this are your conditions, then this is a relationship I don't want any part of
So what if we don't celebrate Valentine's Day but celebrate the day Bismarck was launched into the sea
As a girl, I don't claim these people.
Yep.
As a human I don't claim this things as humans
Stellar Graham Simp tendencies.
@Stellar Graham resist your simp urges xD
Stellar Graham stay strong stop simping
I hate the fact that people think men can’t be abused by women.
Lol I guess mental abuse only applies to women
That's what happens when you have the Duluth model when dealing with issues like this.
Reverse feminism
Bruh no one should be abused
@@aceofspades9818 we need that
Woman doesn't want her bf to be around girls
Her bf: bisexuality rocks!
The texting one really gets me. Like imagine your phone is dead or you're, you know, busy with something important.
If I ever got a girlfriend that acted like this you'd bet they'd be kicked to the curb faster than they could say "contract"
i would take the contract outside and burn it
@@Aptezo I would take them outside and burn them
I would just drag them outside and tie them to a lamppost. I would leave them there overnight to see if they change their mind.
That’s if 😂
I would take the contract, bring it outside, pile all the gifts and stuff I gave to the Gf on top of the contract, douse it with 10 liters of oil and alcohol and set it off with a match
These girls are gonna be karens when they get old
There are three levels of Karen. The Becky, the Karen and the Susan. These are forms of The Becky. The Susan is the mentor of the Karen.
They already are
Karen's in training
Final phase KAREN OVER 9000
Mega Karens Becky and Helen
Thank you Optimus, you're making me happy I don't have a girlfriend xD
Thanks goodness 😊 I got prank girlfriend which is fake not real and it make me happy I have no gf
Lol I'm perfectly fine with my boyfriend having a life too. In fact, I'm happy that he has friends and tbh, I'm friends with some of them myself. I completely understand that life happens and guys can struggle with it too.
We all have our secrets and he doesn't have to tell me everything. Though what he does tell me, I will certainly listen to.
There's definitely a good level of trust between us. Although I do sometimes worry when he's around other girls, I'm fairly secure in his words that he loves me dearly and wants me to be his lifelong partner.
He's also the same way with me around guys. Tbh, I'm friends with a lot of guys and I can say for a fact that I have never treated anybody else with the same level of affection as I have with my boyfriend.
I have relatively low expectations. I understand that there's no such thing as a perfect relationship or a perfect marriage. There will always be challenges, so I'm willing to take 'em on with my boyfriend. And so far, he's shown it too.
I'd say our relationship is decently healthy. :3
I’m going to become her boyfriend just to break every single rule
I would literally do the same just to pojnt out how much "control" she has over me. Nil. :')
Remember, she keel you
You are a legend
I'd do the same but whenever I broke those rules and she got angry I would say "oh sorry I hurt your controlling ego again but not sorry"
@@owenobrien1351 then wat break up?
I love how she's trying to be cute writing a contract that makes a relationship go downhill and making her really insecure and paranoid
i know
Its really sad to look at tbh....
She makes the man legit a dog lol
Doing this should genuinely be illegal.
Like that contract is in no way law binding so I dont know why they think there smart.
I hope he is just being sarcastic
I realized that staying single is the most happiest thing happened to me
And people wonder why the stereotype of the "crazy girlfriend" comes from. :P
The only contract ill take from my girlfriend is a restraining order
Heyooo
Now this...
Hello there
Ha nice
Me: watches this video
Also me: *laughs in I hate my ex*
Me: *expresses interest in a girl*
Girl: "To date me, you must sign this contract."
My interest in them: *gone*
Reduced to atoms
@@cmcphotography1 Indeed
Girl: Wait, that's illegal
Hey bros..i want to challenge you all here. Please refer to the Crazy/Hot scale. I think that if a woman who was really really hot presented this to you..you WOULD sign it.
Ight imma head out
When a girl does it people think that they really care about her but ohhhh when a guy does it he gets framed as abusive, canceled, and probably jailed
when she cuts out hanging out with the boys
"FUS RO DAH!!!"
Simps would absolutely agree with this kind of relation ship.
Yep
@Ji Jal no I think they're just that desperate for someone
Not even simps will go this low
Relationsimps.
This is why I'm single
Aside from the fact that no one talks to me.
Don't worry nobody is talking to anybody in this historical event.
Same same...
If nobody approaches of her own accord it's over. You're not gonna get a nice relationship with a genuinely loving girlfriend.
I have friends that are girls, but I’m still single
Me too but let’s just enjoy the time we have to ourselves for now.
and this is why most of us rather be single
Yes
"You're not to mention [Four male names] again".
That's sus AF
The only thing that should be on a relationship contract:
No cheating
(Edit: I changed dating contract to relationship contract because I think people are misunderstanding what I meant. I’m not talking about an open-relationship, I’m talking about a relationship where things are starting to get serious. Sorry for the confusion)
true, true
but also no abuse and stuff like that
Thicc Cheese what about no beating
@@mrgoodman5260 i mean beting women or beating meet on pornhub and cultured animes, because if no beating on 2nd we will have problem here
@@mrgoodman5260 no beating the wife is okay
Not even that in open relationships. Just gonna throw it in here!
Me: Is any of this negotiable to any degree?
Her: No
Me: And for that reason, i'm out.
*shark tank noises*
You are attempting to negotiate with someone who has a mindset like that? Yeah you have more faith in humans than I do lol 😆
Nah there should be no negotiation. If she brings a contract, I will cut all contact.
@@dangerdan2592
if she shows contracc
i cut all contacc
relationships are always negotiable, just walk out
“Spend as much time with me as you do with the game 😌”
*Puts game on the shelf and never touches it*
I do what I want. That's why I'm happy and single.
Girlfriend's after you sign that contract:
*YOUR LIFE,HAND IT OVER TO ME!*
boyfriend be like: oh no
“C’mon don’t be shy”👁👄👁
La Sombra the boyfriends should have probably read the contract before they signed them, and if they didn’t, then they should rip the contract to bits and get the heck out of there!!!!
Guy: Wha-
Elite Envisonary guy whispers to other girl and guy across the street: help...me
Me: *signs first contract, pulls out phone*
Her: "what're you doing"
Me: "deleting your number bc you're a single woman now"
Win
lol
A paradox😳
This is underrated
lol
She was crazy the second she gave her boyfriend the contract and expects him to follow this.
Key things to look for in a significant other
1.same hobbies
2.a few shared interests
3.accepted to all that is you
4.the only contracts acceptable are marriage and property leases
and prenups
Women: "Respond in 10 minutes or else!"
Also Woman: *Leaves you on read until you start convo again*
It's worse if she leaves you on delivered but is online the whole time
Lazer same for me they will literally post stuff after i send so they are on but wont read????
If I respond to my girl within 10 minutes she gets suspicious
@@carljohnson-fc6el If she does that stop texting her because many girls will do that to feel special that they can get you when they want
@@lazer2541 whooo
For anyone who feels down during the video: If you look at the chat in the gameplay you can see the enemy teams congratulating each other for the goals. Restores some of my faith in humanity
U sound depressed
Nah i noticed it too, i've never had a game that wasn't toxic at all
So we’re just gonna ignore these horrendous camera settings?
Get off the internet my guy
Nice
The very concept of a contract is based on distrust. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong. As an aspie, I'm not wired to understand money and economics beyond "It has a price tag. If I want it, what I tender must match or exceed the amount on said tag. If it thus exceeds, I am entitled the remainder amount in return. If I want to sell something, I must put a price tag on it, hope to god it's reasonable, and apply the same aforementioned rules only backwards."
Lol this is so me, and I'm also ASD.
Well said.
"You are not to have a single girl's phone number"
Deletes the girlfriend's number
I honestly can't believe young people(I use that term loosely) would do this or ever agree. When I dated as a teen, if either person tried this garbage, they *would be alone for sure.* There are girls/women who find this stuff repulsive, so there is hope. PS Are many girls really this desperate and cringy these days? I'm curious, thanks
@@amygwenn5189 nah I don't think there are,or at least I haven't meet them yet.
@@adrianhernandez5868 Thanks for replying :)
@Paige McNally *legendary*
@@amygwenn5189 there definitely are plenty out there, who can maybe hide themselves well, maybe it’s not a huge majority but a handful who kind of act like this.
This is exactly why men are losing interest in relationships, it's just insane.
Only one I'm guilty of is the 10 minute text thing. I'm in a long distance relationship and texting is our most common method so I do find it important
@@chocobossxii9457 Roblox ODER lol
Yea i want to keep my friends thank you very much
@@pastetatse4957 I don't have friends or a gf but im still happy AF!🤣🤣🤣
[AnomalyGaming] good
i thought it would just be something simple like “don’t leave the toilet seat up”, oh how i was wrong
Bruh if I ever have a toxic girlfriend that tells me that I can do this or not hanging out with my friends and she says to me “who do you choose me or the boys” I’m definitely going straight for the boys not even finishing her sentence
*IF* you have a girlfriend
Massive Legend well I don’t actually but if I ever have one these toxic ones that makes you sign papers then no
My relationship contract:
No cheating
Sign here ---->
Sign: Spooky
@@spooky961 Sign: Scary Skeletons
My relationship contract:
No cheating
No moving my stuff to make room for your stuff without asking first
No guy friends that are flirty over
No rearranging the furniture without asking
Most importantly no sending texts back to back without a response
------> sign here.
My relationship contact *HELP*
*im stuck in a simulation *
Who else was hella interested in the background gameplay? XD
🤙🏻😎👋🏻ya boy
The camera settings is off my comfort zome
i was cheering for the reds :))
Me
@@hi_its_me06 Same.
Imagine pausing the video to read the paper
Then realizing its being read to you as a part of the video
This post was made by me
Yeah XD
This reminds me of Courtney’s list of Things to Fix for Duncan from Total Drama
The girl and Courtney are the same picture
“You are not allowed to have a single girls phone number”
So wouldn’t that include you too? :v)
For that ten minute limit text thing bruh i hope someone purposely waits 11 minutes to text her back
I love how they don’t think these through, like your single mom counts as well?
Does the granny count too?
Poor female family members
That girl is a hypocrite especially telling him not to look at other girls. It's unrealistic he's gonna come across females in they're baby, kid, tween, adult and elderly years. There's no way around than to choose suicide.
I hope somebody wait 10 minutes and 1 second on purpose
First contract legal loopholes:
- Cheat with married/partnered girls only
- Visit friends and never leave
- Invite friends over once/twice in a week and let them stay for several days
- Look at girls who are in groups
- Take a treadmill with you everywhere. When a single girl approaches, place it on the ground (directed away from her) and walk on it while flirting
- Don't invite Mo to hang out on one occasion, then afterwards always invite Mo
- Demand head
- Select a single thing and don't get mad about it to her ever again. Get mad about all other things
- Binge drink when with your GF
- Whenever a phone check occurs, produce multiple phones for inspection. Include old style house phones, gramophones, microphones, saxophones, xylophones, hydrophones, megaphones, full size phone booths and earphones
- In public, start a conversation with your GF about jumping and literally say "howhighprincess" every time she uses the word
- After moving in, enforce the no girls allowed rule with zero tolerance. Physically throw out all female friends and family members your GF invites over, without saying a single word
- Don't get caught
- Say "I love you once a day" on one occasion
- Text the "me back" in response to all messages
Here you dropped 👑
King energy right now
This is beautiful
Not all... not all heros wear capes
Not a single clause in the contract was broken, malicious compliance at its finest
The only “relationship contract” I can agree with is a prenuptial agreement. At least that one doesn’t control anyone’s actions during the relationship. It just makes the breakup easier.
Optimus: No healthy relationship should need a contract
*Marriage trembling in the corner*
Except marriage requires both individuals to actually agree
The reason that analogy doesn't work is: a marriage actually has legal consequences (like, for example: lower taxes, or one party being allowed to do something for the other party, especially medical stuff). Just a relationship doesn't.
Even if we ignore all the "alimony/she took half my stuff"-issues... My GF, legally, isn't allowed to receive my mail. My roomie, on the other hand, is. Because his name is on a contract we have (in this case, me renting out a room to him). His name is on the door as well. Hers isn't.
Marriage is different you can still do whatever you want marrage is just moving to the highest level
“I’m not in battle, I’m shooting the bodies of 13 year old children.” - Optimus 2020
I died at that part
Get_Spanked what are you 13 🤣
300th like
Optimus out of context
I am 45. I dated a few crazy men and women when I was in college and after before I got married. None of them were anywhere near this high maintenance and crazy. If someone gave this to me, I would have laughed in their face.
It's so over the top that I don't believe it.
My ex tried to make me sign a contract that I wouldn't be able to sleep with anyone but her without her consent and 3 months later tried to falsely charge me, this is an actual issue. Pls share this so people are aware of these kind of monsters.
Rule: If we move in, there are to NEVER ever be girls at our house.
Doctor after the wife gives birth: It's a girl!
Husband: Welp, we have to put up for adoption. (Looks away from daughter)
Wife: Why?!
Husband: The rules state that there will NEVER ever be girls at our house and I'm not allowed to look at single girls.
An actual good Dad joke. I'm proud of u man
Yeah thats the turnaround
Lol nice one XD
Nice
I mean, he's telling the truth. The rules did say that there will never be girls at their house, and he's following the rules.
I can only imagine these girls faces when these guys say: "no"
god i wish i could see it in person
*Surprised Pikachu face*
@@crazzyconnor97 Then they would probably try and trash the poor guys life as much as possible or physically assault him
@@siva4wotblitzhero531 you seem to forget one thing anyone can do: liver punch. one of those and you won't be assaulted ever again by the same person
@@hugebuffman3619 liver punches can actually damage the liver
if someone gave me cod and a contract i would take the game and break up with them
I think Optimus is winning an argument in the shower and we are the shampoo bottles
Guy: violates a term of the contract
Girl: So you have chosen... death
No they chosen....black
"Why do I hear boss music?"
she will more than likely metoo you anyway.
Whips out the reverse card and pulls out a scythe
"I am shooting the bodies of 13 year olds in a video game, please dont disrespect me." - Sun Tzu, "The Art of War"
"Yeet or be treated"
- Sun Tzu, "The Art Of War"
I read that wrong
This isnt a Technoblade video why am I seeing fake Sun Tzu quotes
@@crugleberryandfriends4740
Wdym fake?