5 THINGS I WISH I KNEW ABOUT ADOPTION l UK ADOPTION l mollymamaadopt

Hi everyone.
I cannot believe it's almost been A YEAR of my beautiful little man making us a family of four. What a whirlwind. I've been reflecting recently on the things I wish I knew earlier about our first year after adoption that would have been really helpful. Hopefully they will help some of you prepare, or for those of you have already adopted, you may be able to relate!
Molly x
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[@leahmcevoy20]

Thank you Molly! This was very helpful x

[@daddydadandme]

Fantastic video Molly! x

[@georgestrood9994]

Love your honesty! 😍

[@megganjameson212]

Thanks Molly, this made me feel normal! Really appreciate your honesty and insight x

[@suzidavis6170]

Always love your videos, thank you 😊

[@katierippon6106]

This is really helpful Molly thank you

[@Anna-pu7hx]

No questions from me, just wanted to say your videos have been so so helpful thank you. I can sense your caring nature and empathy 100%. You are doing a fantastic job😊

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Wow Anna, thanks so much 💕

[@jolilley3783]

Really great video Molly. We are at the end of stage one, waiting and waiting to see if weve got through to stage 2. I find the wait worse than my many ivf 2 week wait outcomes! Have you done a video on dealing with negativity from family and or friends? And how did you cope with the waiting?

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Hi Jo. So pleased to hear you’re in the adoption process! The waiting can be horrible and such a test. I completely empathise with you there! I haven’t done a video on that - I’m sorry to hear that’s happening. I have done a video for family and friends though which may be worth sending to your family and friends?

[@TheIVFChapters]

This was really interesting, thank you for being so open and honest about your journey. My partner and I are keen to adopt and plan on doing so in the future. Our fourth round of IVF recently worked (which we really weren’t expecting) and I am currently 15 weeks pregnant. I’m so thankful that we are at this stage but, after 4 miscarriages and a hideous pregnancy full of sickness, I definitely won’t be signing up for it again!! I have spent a lot of time throughout our IVF journey, and still now, thinking about adoption. I even set up an email account for our future adopted child and have been sending emails to it throughout our journey so far. I hope it will understand that it has always been wanted. I will keep engaging with your content and educating myself about adoption. Hopefully, in a few years, we’ll be on that path. 🤞🏽☺️

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Congratulations on your wonderful news! That sounds really lovely that you’re already thinking about adoption in your future 💕

[@CJ-js2gb]

I just adore these videos!

[@lynnannett1991]

That was a great look back at all you've learned and reflected on. Thanks for sharing.
Do you have any advice for your third point on how to respond to neighbours etc? I know what I don't want to do, but not exactly sure what is best to say

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Thanks! It’s such a tough one. Our neighbours do know we adopted because little man just appeared one day so they were all very confused, understandably. My husband is AMAZING at dealing with these situations and when we get asked ‘ohhhh I didn’t know you had another! When did this happen?’, he just says “oh well he’s nearly X years” or “yeah, meet my son!” And that’s that. Not because we’re hiding adoption, we very much celebrate it, but because we don’t want our son to feel labelled as ‘the adopted one’ x

[@lynnannett1991]

Thanks. I need to avoid my natural tendency to overshare so those are great examples. Super helpful

[@sophieblount1]

I really like these videos. I'm not quite sure if I feel comfortable becoming pregnant (feels unnatural for me) so considering adoption. I've had a couple of things said to me about adoption like 'you won't have the same connection as your own' or 'it's be much harder with all there problems'. How would you respond to comments like that? Should I ignore them?

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Really sorry you’ve had those comments Sophie. I’ve found it’s down to a real lack of education. I always prepare answers in advance. Normally along the lines of ‘I think you’ll find that if you research it and educate yourself more you’ll find you’re wrong because XYZ” *polite smile* - occasionally I have just sighed and walked away on a really bad day because I can’t ALWAYS be that educational on a bad day 😂

[@fathemajohura8277]

How do you find keeping in contact with the birth family? How often do you have contact with them?

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Hi! Contact can vary. For some people it’s once a year and for others it may be a few times per year. I value contact. Again, it’s different for everyone, but I do it for my son knowing that I’m upholding the relationship, should he ever want to know updates on them or meet them when he’s older. Hope that helps!

[@claircooper4741]

Hi molly can you put me in the right direction for some free online courses that you mentioned on a different post?

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Hey! Of course. Check out open university as they do free modules on attachment, child development etc. x