Stop Worrying - Why Worrying is Pointless
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- čas přidán 26. 09. 2020
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We have a tendency to worry a lot about things we have no control over. Focussing on things outside of your control can easily make you feel overwhelmed, especially if you have a tendency to become consumed in thoughts about all the things that COULD GO WRONG, all the things that AREN’T RIGHT in your life and how powerless you feel…
It’s not helpful, and only leads to feeling worse. In short, worrying is pointless.
In fact, a 2005 study found that 85% of what we worry about, never happens!
So instead, make a conscious decision to stick with what’s within your control. Make choices. Be grateful for what you have. Seek support if you need it. And take considered action.
In the comments, let me know what you thought of this video! If you liked it, please hit the thumbs up button and subscribe to support my channel - it means a lot to me!
REFERENCES
The Worry Cure: Seven Steps to Stop Worry from Stopping You by Robert L. Leahy PhD
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In the comments, let me know what you thought of this video! If you liked it, please hit the thumbs up button and subscribe to support my channel - it means a lot to me! (Thank you all for your amazing support 🙏🏽 It really encourages my husband and me to keep creating these videos! )
You welcome
its like simple to say, but how can you describe me losing my job now...? how can someone not worry?
btw i Luv u and ur videos...i have been leaving comments here if ever you have noticed.
@@surajagasti2309 This is an important question especially during this difficult and disruptive. Perhaps a more useful question to ask is: How does worrying help? Worry can result in anxiety and even fear. These emotions are natural but if we don't silence our thoughts the worry will take over us, weaken us and rob us from our ability to think creatively and to problem solve. There is enormous power in letting go and just accepting our current circumstances. This allows us to quieten the mind which can be like a monkey chattering away, and calm our nerves. Then you can start feeling stronger and thinking with clarity. For me the power of prayer and meditation really helps, followed by taking constructive action. Sending you my very best wishes during this difficult time. 🙏🏽
@@ShadeZahrai yes...
I misread the thumbnail as "why working is pointless" and i was like, finally someone made a video on it.
😂😂😂 that made my day!
@@ShadeZahrai :), regardless, i still saw and loved the video. Thank you for posting it.
From a public health perspective that headline is indeed apropos for certain economic sectors at the present time!
I do gig work in IT so occasionally I have the "opportunity" to go be "essential" and that's nerve wracking because IT customers cover a wide range of economic sectors and their associated risks. And I am immunocompromised. I'm relatively as healthy as can be living with HIV and COPD.
To be sure it's not the virus that scares me. It's the behaviors of others that has and always will be out of my control! I survived ARDS with several serious complications back in the early part of 2004 already. Been there, done that before. Don't have any wish to do it again please and thank you.
😂
😂😂😂
"I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened."
-Mark Twain
I'm recording my piano playing exam today and it made me so tense and worried for a full month that I wasn't even able to play as well as I always used to.
My hands literally felt rock solid and robotic every time I played and even THOUGHT about it
Even in practice recordings I would get so stressed I could barely press any notes.
So, to get myself to stop worrying I came to this video.
I would really really appreciate if you guys wished me luck or prayed for me, it would rlly help 🙏🙏
God bless ❤❤❤
"When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”
- Winston Churchill. Thanks Shade🙏❤️selfhelpchampion
That about sums it up! Thank you for sharing that quote. There's so much we can learn from the experience of our elders.
it's like someone's saying stop being unhappy. unhappiness is pointless. start being happy. but we don't have any damn clue how to do that.
Really what I needed today , thankyou
85% of what we worry about never happens !!
This is gold
And the 15 percent that does only makes us stronger and better ❤
I just heard your video. What you are saying depends on the context of the situation. It is better to be realistic and depending on the situation, not to have too much or too low expectations, just to work honestly to manage the challenge.
Today is our most precious possession. It is our only sure possession.
God bless you, Shadé. Well timed message. I’m blessed. You’re a real blessing.
Thank you Ezekiel. I'm glad the right message reached you at the right time 😊 God bless.
@@ShadeZahrai hey.. sister. this is very excellent topic. I really love it. I used to have that kind of thought. but today I got a lesson from you. Thank you so much sister. May God bless you and have a blessed day and enjoy your day. Take care. Greeting from br John phangcho MC. God bless you.
@@ShadeZahrai
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اللغة الإنجليزية.
@@ShadeZahrai
Dear dear greetings, I wish you lasting success and happiness in this world and the hereafter and that all wishes come true for you.🌹🌹🌺🌺🌷🌷💐💐
Philippians 4:8
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
Yep. Action is the Solution. Taking Action is the #1. real solution to stop worry. No time to worry if your busy taking action steps to fix the issue you were worrying about. Some things are completely not in our control and we can only accept that fact and move forward.
Once I used to be driven by negativity
Now I am focusing on the positive side of life and it feels good. Helpful video👌
Tomorrow I have exam and I found out I haven't studied yet .
You are right worrying is pointless
lol did you passed the test?
Let's not allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Remember "Life is too short to be little".
Thanks ma'am actually i am living my life as a failure... I have totally destroyed my teen age life And i always feel bad about it!
I am 20yr old and i have failed in an extrance exam again.
My life has literally ended.
And i am totally responsible fr it. I always wish if i could get , like a time machine or something so i could improve myself from the past.
But its not possible...
I dont want to give up...
Its my dream to start a business.
I dont want to regret when i am old, that i couldn't do anything in my life !!! i am going through some suicidal thought, once even planned to end up! But dont even have guts forit. All my old friends are successful in what they where doing...
I've been giving an entrance exams, for some higher education.
But after failing in it i came up with an idea of a startup.
And i think it will be okay ....
i will study hard again for that entrance exam , will clear it and i will start my own startup. Its ok i still have my 20s left with me, cant waste it....
I dont have any friends to talk with.
So i decided to share what i feel overhere.
I know you are busy and wont read this but still.....
My parents and sisters are my strength... I will make them proud one day. ❤️
Don't give up, you're young! Everyone has a different timing. God has a plan. Good luck!!!
@@Mariana-kk5xf thanks ma'am. It means alot to me ❤️
Go start your company. Passing the entrance exam isn't gonna help you anyways. Do what you wanna do.
I've felt like that a lot of times and every time I've overcome it I'm better for it. Hang in there, when you look back at this time, you'll thank God for the lessons you've learned from it.
@@demodemo5146 yes sir.
I feel confident but then i easily get demotivated. I know its just a bad phase of my life.
But i must say i have learnt alot from this failure at the age of just 20...
And thankyou somuch for reading my text! It means alot to me 💚
A wise men once told me the same. But some time I started worrying too much, which I will feel it later ' waste of time'...
The best part of your messages are that it seems coming out of our own deep thoughts but voiced by you. Thanks.
Stay positive problems always dissolve
I got a little crazy buying silver miners recently and I was worried when I saw the spot price tanking and I didn’t sleep all night. I guess my experience fell within that 15% time when our fears are legitimate.
I will say it wasn’t as bad as I thought but it wasn’t good either. Lol.
Thanks Shade. Still great advice! 🙏🏻🙌🏻
Yes, this is so true! Investing in shares can cause so much worry if one isn't comfortable with the risk. I'm not sure if putting ourselves in a constant state of worry is worth the risk/reward
Shadé Zahrai Haha. You’re right. I had that same thought wondering if it was worth the stress. Thanks for replying! 😄
This is really a unique study regarding human tendencies on worrying.. and very well said that actually these things don't even exist.
And I read somewhere - the Catastrophe that you fear will happen has already happened.
So. Our past experiences and fears make us worry about something that has not even occurred
Shade , , , , , I love your words.
You are a real blessing.
People need someone like you to remind them that life could be bearable.
Wow,your advice came up 1 week before my exam! Thank you it helps.
Sending best wishes for your upcoming exams. 🙏🏽
Unfortunately for me most of my worries have happened and even worse than I imagined.
Thank You I needed this at this moment !!
Just hearing that fact litteraly deleted every single emotion of worrying in my soul thanks for that :D
Hey shade thank you for this, your videos are like elixirs keep them coming
Thank you for using statistics. All these videos of worrying are about feelings, but you used facts, which made me feel confident that my worries are not needed. I can’t thank you enough, bless you 🙏🏽
Just reminds me of that horrible birthday party I didn’t want to go to when I was 11. It was just as bad, if not worse then how I imagined
Oh good now I can worry about that 15%
Take action is everything! Don't over think what could you do, just do it. I learn this with girls, but it works in all scenarios!
Thank you for reminding me this high value information!
The only person standing in your way is you. 👍🏽
You are a true scholar in real terms as you bring so much studies for us. 👌👌👌
Don't worry! Proceeds to tell a study about it.
Thanks for the advice.👍👍
You're welcome 😊
Awesome points, Shade! Take control of what you can control in your life!
It's easy to say so.. May be your life is wonderful.Not everybody's is.... . You are blessed with good looks and luck.. May be you dint face any hardships... Life is like a movie.. It's a part and parcel of life.the word . Worry... We have to overcome it...
I've read the same explanation in Allan and Barbara Pease book.
Thank you so much I needed that talk ❤
Rightly said...
Great to know about the study you mentioned. Just want to take a moment to say I can never skip past your videos. They are all so concise & to the point. Kudos!
Thank you Asif! I appreciate you taking the moment to share your this. Receiving feedback like yours is what encourages my husband and I to keep creating these videos.
lol this helped. i was worrying abt the fact i was starting swimming lessons at 13 and worried id be the only older kid there (since reviews were mostly talking about their 5- yr old kids and stuff) ur advice helped me realize that i cant change the fact im 13, but i can change the fact that i cant swim. so thank you 😅
Thank you for the tips this helps a long way.
I worried about an interview today but it was pointless as everything went amazingly...so I can confirm you are 100% right.
Congratulations on an amazing interview 🙌🏽 And yes, letting go of worry and taking action is a better way to live. 👍🏽
So so so very true
Go as day go, have ur own Control, which carries n leave rest as u go
I'll remember to always take actions and never be worried again ❤️❤️❤️❤️ love you so much Shade
Easy for you to say! It's different when you come from dier circumstances!
Thank you Zahari, there's a lot of negativity outside. This video is much needed.🙂
👌👌👌
Hey shadé, I know your channel is directed towards women, but I’m a 24 year old Male doctor &you’ve made such a positive impact on me. Thank you
Hi Sam, Thank you for your kind words! 🙏🏽 I'm glad that the content is of value to you. 😊 Yes, my husband and I have noticed and we're making sure the content addresses a wider audience while still addressing women's specific challenges when necessary. Sending you our best wishes.
On the illusion of control (of our circumstance) we find the only real control is in how we choose to react to whatever circumstance brings our way.
If there were ever one core message to living a better life then this would be it. Thank you David! 🙏🏽
Yes ❤
I found your channel through a random recommended story and the topics you cover are really helpful and has made me try to become a better person or atleast got me on the right track.
Thank you miss ❤️
Hhmm maybe you are right as now I recall some recent events the things I was worrying about didn't happened!
Your words are so valuable Shadé.
Concise and effective videos like this are rare on CZcams. Thanks. 👍
Thank you, I always come back to this vid and it always makes me worry a lot less!
This is very true! Thank you for sharing! :)
Such Great Advice. Thank You Soooooooo Very Much ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
Make more of such videos based on real human tendencies...
These short videos r the best as thr msg is rcvd well and quickly..
Ur video abt procrastination had a live chngng moment on me...
And lastly u r very beautiful(dnt wnt 2 sound creepy bt this is so true)
Lots of love for you (shade) from india.❤️ keep motivating and inspiring us.
I AM worrying to much because i sent a letter to My crush but she was dating someone else, but i told My friend to send the letter to her, and the guy who is dating My crush and he though My friend likes her then the guy she is dating pulled My friends shirt because he though My friend liked her, and My friend said i'm going to tell him the truth and i'm worrying because i'm scared My Friend is going to tell him and the guy she is dating is going to beat me up idk what is happening next because it was a friday and we had 1 week of a break in school and My grandma left to another country and i was sad SO we went to Virginia to SEE My cousins in 6 years and it's the last day tomorow with them and everytime i was having fun with them i remembered that and i pray every day that My friend won't tell him and it's thursday right now and i'm going back to school on monday and i'm worrying too much but this video helped me a little bit
Like if You wish me luck😢😢
actually the video doesn't include alot of words but influent me positive you have berfict manner
This channel is my best discovery of 2020. Great work Shadé.
Thank you Odwa! 🙏🏽 Glad you enjoy it.
Yes that''z true,,
Shade I like what you said but unfortunately most of what I think about it happens.😢
Nice video... always support you... 👍👍👍
Short and simple
It means a lot thank you
So true, I worry, then I've been worrying about other people's worries. I get it from my mom. Bless her, she's amazing, but I've never seen any good come of it. I fear I'm heading down the same path. I'd like to say that I'd keep positive. But in my opinion, I exist in a far too stressful life. My granny has dementia and it takes its toll amongst various challenges 🙄 I keep getting defeated by an assortment of trials. It's a high, then a superlow feel. I'd stay positive and accomplish something amazing, then experience hardship on a very trying level. I'm soo lost as a result. I feel battered.
Great video and well timed but✌️😊
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother and your trials. The habit of worry can become a vicious cycle that amplifies our problems and it robs us of our resilience and wellbeing. I remember dialogue from a Tom Hanks movies (Bridge of Spies) where Tom's character says something like "I have to arrest you but everybody else here wants to see you sentenced to death." The spy replies calmly "All right..." Tom's character is surprised and says "You don't seem worried." The spy replies "Would it help?". The point here now that you've been aware that worry is harming you and likely exasperating your challenges you can make it a priority to give yourself a breather, then commit finding a way to change and becoming more stoic.
@@ShadeZahrai I feel it has impacted my life a lot. I've lost my creativity, feel drained and demotivated daily for years. I feel my youth fading. I've become aware of the damage done.
I really appreciate the Tom Hanks reference. Will give it a re-watch as soon as my schedule allows for😂 its a good way to look at things. I will commit to finding a good resolve and will exercise more patience and I guess, remove emotion from the situation. I try to better myself daily, but I lose focus sometimes.
Much appreciate the videos, they're short and concise. Bless you, your husband and team for this inspiring content. CZcams has amazing knowledge and people 👍
First comment
Hoping you all the best
👍🏽🙏🏽 Sending my best wishes too.
Very valuable. Thank you.
I feel sometimes you live with me i was just so worried last week and your videos are motivating me every time🙏🙏🙏🙏thank you so much.
Perhaps we humans are more similar than we think 😊🙏🏽 Glad these videos are useful.
As if you knew just exactly what I wanted to hear right now. Thank you ❤️
Short and sweet.
I am floored to have received love for my comments. It's an honor. Thanks.🌷
I'm worrying if I can ever stop worrying
I love that! It's such an exceptional change to make in on'es life! Have a beautiful week! :) ☀️
Thank you! You too! 🙏🏽
My control!
Your voice is hypnotizing. Gives the content much more value.
This is really fantastic tips shadé , I love the contents of your motivation , I'm on this , too .. always worried , procastinating , so much doubt . No confidence. The reason I'm still on my dream and never happened . Thank you so much for everything shadé . I learned a lot through you 🤗
Glad this is helping you along your journey Mary Grace 🤗🙏🏽 Consider letting go of your attachment to your dream. This doesn't mean don't work towards making it happen. But it means to be open to the possibility that you may need to make some other stops along the journey first. Never let the desire for arriving to a destination rob you from the joy of the journey. 😊
@@ShadeZahrai 😘😘💖💖🤗🤗
Wow! Great thoughts there Shadé!! You're doing a wonderful job through your videos! Keep going! 👏👏👌👌
Thank you so much Kevin 😊🙏🏽
Thank you so much. It will really help me as I am now worried
I agree, thank you for sharing the video
Your videos are to the point and informative. Thank you.
Great job!!! I have saved this video on my playlist really needed most...
Awesome! I'm glad you're finding it useful!
Thanx true words
Love this so much!! Thank you! xx
You're so welcome! 😊🧡
actually I don't why but I think I do feel myself always at the edge of failing but in reality somewhere I just overcome by it......but still that failing fear always give me a thunder blow at least 50-60 times a day which disturbs my daily life routine and my goals to achieve in mean time......I mean in short my whole day is ruined by just thinking not taking actions.
Thank you I feel better after watching this
Wow.. 👏👏👏
Always informative and lots of Value❤️
Thank you! Such great advice !
absolutely right 💯 good creation
Overthinkers be like there is still 15 percent chance that what we are thinking can happen
Thank you very much for these Power full words from you about handling negative things. The impact you created will reach the people in a meaningful way and each and every word you said is absolutely necessary to the people those who are thinking lika a pessimist. Hare at this point i would like emphasize one thing that "Words have the power to make and break the change in a person". Thank you very much mam keep going never give up . Have a great future.
So true Phani. It's what we consistently say to ourselves that ultimately directs our lives and how we experience them. Thank you for the kind words of encouragement. Sending my best wishes 🙏🏽
@@ShadeZahrai Tq very much for your reply
Is there any chance for us to view you in CZcams Live.
Your advice came just in time!
Glad it wasn't late! Best wishes 🙏🏽😊
@@ShadeZahrai 🙏🏼
Ty!
That's why I worry a lot as 85% it never happen
love it !!
If you are able to solve the problem,then why do you worry?
If you are not able to do anything about it,then why do you worry?!🤔
Yes, would it help you to worry? 👍🏽
just love it