DON'T MOVE TO FRANCE IF....
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- čas přidán 8. 06. 2024
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A lot of thought goes into moving and living abroad in France, but there are definitely some red flags to take into consideration before moving to France as an American. Being an expat in France may not be for you if any of the things I talk about here ring true. Some also apply to living abroad as a foreigner in other countries too. Let's get into some reasons not to move to France.
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Salut! I'm Diane, the American behind the living abroad lifestyle blog Oui In France. My channel's focus is "Everyday French life and beyond," so let me know what you want to see! I make videos on French culture topics, food, travel, language, and give you my thoughts about what it's like living in France as an American in the Loire Valley. Thanks for being here and if you enjoy this sort of thing, please share with friends and subscribe!
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#livingabroad #expatinfrance #movingtofrance
I've lived here for 20 years, fluent in French for 15 of them. Took French citizenship just after the brexit vote.
I love everything about life here, I even "enjoy" the challenge of French administration.
I changed to fit in to France, I didn't expect anything to change for me.
Finally there is no such thing as an expat, we are called immigrants.
The problem with immigration comes from the Mediterranean sea and flows upstream, while brexit boomers are flowing downstream and generally not considered a nuisance.
expat to your former country of residence, immigrant to your new country of residence.
I agree that one usually takes one's problems along when moving to another country. In my case, however, the American way of life and American society was causing most of my unhappiness because that way of life and society did not match the way I wanted to live and was incompatible with my personality and values. Thus, living in Europe lifted huge burdens from me as soon as I left the U.S. behind, and I immediately became calm and affable where I had been angry and negative before my move. If you hate the ignorance, competitiveness, greed, and political situation in the U.S., a move to Europe might just be a good idea for you, as it was for me.
I had the opposite experience - well not quite, but I moved to the US and obviously my issues moved with me... I didn't adapt to US culture, but I don't think the two are related. I've moved back to France with my issues... :)
@@mgparis Le rêve américain pour nous, comme le "mode de vie romantique français" pour eux est gravement surestimé. Le rêve américain est de la poudre aux yeux, et beaucoup de français et européen s'en rendent compte une fois arrivés sur place. C'est triste et surtout très couteux. Je pense qu'il serait nécessaire de réellement cesser d'alimenter ce mythe des US parfaits où on réussit forcément ...
@@jenanewp1696 Pour ma part je suis partie (et rentrée aussi :) sans le rêve américain, autrement dit, les US ne me faisaient pas rêver plus que ça, et c'est toujours le cas après y avoir vécu...
@@mgparis Tant mieux et c’est super que tu aies eu les pieds sur Terre. Cette expérience était à vivre et te sera sans doute toujours utile. Pour ma part je reconnais que c’est un pays qui a des choses intéressantes, tout comme les autres pays, mais j’ai entendu trop d’expériences « ratées » autour de moi, la plus courante étant de jeunes français partant aux States pour « améliorer leur anglais ». Une fois sur place ils rencontrent d’autres français, ne s’immergent pas et revenaient avec un anglais aussi pourri qu’au départ et en plus ruinés d’avoir vécu au dessus de leurs moyens. Super bof et beauf. Bien sûr ils ne le présentent pas comme ça : « Ah j’ai vachement progressé franchement ! » et toi avec ton TOEIC C1 tu t’adresses à eux en anglais et là tu vois qu’ils ne comprennent pas et ne sont pas capables d’aligner 3 mots.
Sans parler de ceux qui se disent « bilingues » et partent en pleine confiance en croyant « lancer un super business » mais qui une fois arrivés sur place se heurtent à la réalité et se rendent compte qu’en fait ils ne savent même pas accueillir un client anglophone. Bien sûr tout n’est pas noir ou blanc, certains réussissent. Mais combien de plantages qui reviennent en courant chez leurs parents pour 1 réussite du rêve américain ? On peut toujours se rassurer en disant qu’une experience, telle qu’elle soit, est toujours bonne à prendre ! Haha
@@mgparis combien de temps 🤔🤔
I really like your channel as a French person (despite my name!). It gives me a different perspective on my country, and what foreigners experience when living here.
When I was 25 I went to teach English in Japan. I was sent to a very tiny village on the edge of the Japan Sea. As a six foot four American, I certainly stood out as "the other". There were some benefits to this initially because people were curious about me and I was often treated with deference and honor. However, over time, this kind of existence became marginalizing. I really had to struggle to learn the language and culture in order to form authentic relationships with people. I wanted to connect on an equal footing with my neighbors and colleagues. I knew some other foreigners who were content to remain the "interesting quasi-celebirty" during their time in Japan, but for me that kind of life made me feel objectifed. I doubt that the experience of foreigners in France is the same as Japan, but I definitely recommend learning local ways soon as possible. That is when the richness of life abroad begins to unfold.
On a general basis, foreigners are more accepted in France than in Japan, it’s true because France has been a place of migration for thousands of years, and nowadays tourism make possible to meet a foreigner anywhere.
But if you move to a remote area, as a permanent resident, you can experience the same feelings as you did in Japan.
Wow. I love ur writing.
@@samwisegamgee6532 Yes I can imagine that one's experience in rural France would be markedly different from the cities.
@@rushdialrashed9627 Well thank you so much! Bless you.
From what I've seen Japan is a very closed society not used to "other", also living in a small village exacerbated the situation. Try again in a European country and a bigger town or city, you may have a better experience
This video should be shown to everyone thinking of moving to France ~ not just Americans 👍. I have lived here permanently for 20 years. Since I was very young I regularly visited with my parents (both Scottish - my Mum spoke basic French and encouraged me to learn, not just the language but the culture) and I subsequently studied and worked here so I knew a great deal about all aspects of this wonderful country and its amazing people! You are spot on in your assessments …. over the years I have met many who have not integrated at all because they have not accepted that life here is FRENCH (🥴). Either through a lack of desire to learn the language or an inability to learn the language they miss out on sooooo much and end up living in English-speaking ‘ghettos’. Kenavo 🇫🇷👍🇫🇷
So true. In my small hometown, there are quite a few UK citizens. They went to the public school ('école primaire' and not a bilingual one) to demand the set-up of a class taught only in english for their children. You can imagine how it went...
You even speak brezhoneg!
@@nco1970 that's interesting! How do they survive in France without speaking French?
@@ellenolsson3703 they survive, but they don’t live. The wine helps them forget that.
@@ellenolsson3703 they blow tires at the local gas station
Hello Diane, very good video and excellent advice. I am 72 years old, born in Paris, and with the exception of 4 years spent in France in the late 60s to complete my studies, I have spent my whole life in different countries and still live outside France. When we come to settle in a foreign country, it is up to us to adapt, not the other way around. The keyword is respect for the host country and its way of life.😊😊
@@pierre-yveschauvet5136 It depends on the custom, and the setting. Mocking some cultural behaviour you think it's stupid with your french friends, at your home? Surely fine. Not respecting silly laws about blasphemy while in Pakistan? That will cost you dearly.
Francis Smicard 😂😂
There is still a funny confusion between socialism and social democracy as seen in Europe !
As a frenchman, I can assure you that we are not living here in a socialist country at all !
yeah French people may feel offended if you call them or their country socialist. The word was used mostly for USSR countries that were on their way to communism
it's lowkey socialism though, nothing wrong with that
true, the unites states is more socialist/communist than any country in europe now
@@ec1596 NONSENSE
@@ec1596 so true!
I would like to say, even if we (french) speak fluent english everwhere you shouldn't come live here if you don't plan to learn French.
And that's the case for all countries. Don't plan to go live in a country if you don't plan to learn their language.
how many Asian people move to Australia and don't plan on learning English especially the older population of Grandparents from China are an example, who come over due to family.
Shame Australia doesn't make more of it but they are too diplomatic & conservative pleasing the masses.
@@katel7309 Are you kidding.Australians diplomatic you are having a laugh Kate.
Everywhere perhaps, but not everyone😅!
You dont make the rules, kid.
Oui c est un minimum.
Excellent advise. Really was impressed with your warnings about getting used to being “the foreigner” As a military brat I lived in Germany for 3 years and my mom would always remind us kids that we were guests there. She and my dad set a good example of being open and curious about the culture. This attitude has served me well.
Fabulous video, as always. I agree with everything in it. The culture shock IS real, even coming from the "next door" country of the UK, I was taken aback by how different France is. Coming from further away will only emphasise those differences. On a positive note, take pride in the bravery needed to make such a move, it's not easy and certainly not for everyone.
Don't move to France if you think Paris is France 😁
😅👍
Absolutely. When summer comes around and Parisians leave the city the rest of France groans 😮💨
Paris is dangerous, dirty and full or rats. And it's said by a french.
As usual, a polished and masterful presentation, no hesitations or awkward pauses, without the even using a teleprompter. Great suggestions. Yankee, stay home if you aren’t prepared mentally for France. Traveling in France I have been embarrassed by other Americans speaking way too loud and practically shouting to each other from ten yards away across a crowded space. “Hey, Alice. Take a look at this funny-looking thing over here.” Some Americans act as if they are looking at and talking about animals in a zoo or they are wandering around a vast theme park known as France.
I totally agree with your description of too many American tourists in France. However, as a French person who has lived in the US for the last 30 years, I am also irritated by the French in the US who also speak loud in French between themselves in public places, usually to criticize everything, do not put a lot of efforts to learn the language, and again, criticize all the time, as "THEY don't do like this, THEY do like that". I used to frequent some French associations in the US and there were expats who had been there for 10, 20 or 30 years and their English was awful. Their accent was intentionally extremely French, to the point of being impossible to understand.
@@mat1536 Well, there are a lot of great things in the US, but "elegance vestimentaire et style" n'en font pas partie! Agree!
You should be paid by French ministry of tourism for the videos you make! Diane is the best advertising for France! I already lives in France but watching your videos makes me live here even more 😅
I'm a German living in Spain and you can basically apply all these points to Spain as well. It's more to do with moving to a foreign country than explicitly France, even though I see the sense of social justice and corporate identity as something that may be particularly typical for French society. You obviously need to have some kind of affection for the country's mentality, language and culture when you go abroad. If you like peace and quiet, the calmness of life in Scandinavia will suit you better than a Mediterranean country. If you enjoy warmer climates and the corresponding cheerful mentality that often goes along with it, then Southern Europe will suit you more.
We are Diane, in 12 days. We paid the rest of the money for our house to the notaire this morning. :)
Bon chance! I have a second home in Vienne department.
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Thank you again for your support after I shared my mom had passed away earlier this month. I'm not able to dive into the comments right now but I really appreciate your kind words. They've helped more than you know. Tom will be helping out in the comments for now. ;-) Merci encore !
Thanks for the video. It is hard for French people who move to Quebec because they would think because Quebecois speak the same language, the culture would be the same, therefore it is easier to always compare. The thing is Quebec has a very different culture and life style that is mainly North American.
I have lived in Québec as a French and I agree with you, partly. The culture and even landscapes and all really make you feel like you're in North America, not home. However, I didn't feel much as "the foreigner". A lot of French people live in Québec and Québec is very accommodating to French people, you know the language, you get Healthcare, a lot of steps are made easier than they would for an American or ROC person who move to France.
@@imanethe1175 You did not live long in Quebec to say such nonsense... Indeed you are right Quebec is in North America. What a sense of observation and above all what a scoop.
Les Québécois des Français immigrés.
Such a great video! We just got back from spending a month at our house in France and it was the first time we were there long enough to get a good idea of what living there is like. Definitely some frustrations and a peek at what it's like to be an immigrant. All in all a great experience.
Thank you so much for your candid and honest advice. Although i have no intention of moving to France. ( I'm just to old now) i do love your videos and respect the French people immensely. .
I know you lost your mom recently. Again i am truly sorry for your loss. .
This is a comprehensive and well considered list. I feel it's not only applicable for those moving to France but for anyone considering uprooting their life and moving to a foreign country. Well done 👍
As always on top, thank you and i hope you and your family are coping as much as you can. Hugs ❤️
This video is relevant for anyone thinking of moving to live for an extended period in any foreign country. Thank you Diane for your straight talk.
Thank you. Am French and have been in Australia 44 years now. All the issues you mentioned I had to learn and adjust constantly. It is a very difficult experience. I will always be a foreigner regardless of me speaking very English and I worked for years too…..
I learned the hard way. At a brocante I saw a piece I really wanted. I asked the price in French. When given it was too expensive for me to buy. I just kind of mumbled under my breath sadly too expensive. She was angry with me quickly saying in an outraged tone that is was not too expensive. I truly meant too expensive for me. I apologized quickly trying to say in french what I meant but she was still very angry. I kept my opinions to myself after that. Also got yelled at trying to buy lettece at a market. I asked for a specific one that I wanted. He yelled and refused to sell it to me. A lady nearby came and took over selling me a piece. Ok let them pick! I learned that they are the experts on their produce. I was surprised at my first medical visit that it was the Dr who answered the phone for appointment, took my blood pressure and consulted a book regarding my meds. She then simply gave me my script. No big drama that I had not seen her before. I carried all my prescription bottles from US to her. I was in my 50s so had a few meds. Also fell down some steps injuring my leg. Was seen at a&e. The Dr walked in and said take off your pants. No nurse no gown. He then took me around for xray himself. It is a learning curve for sure. I only knew basic French, not for lack of trying, which did not help. I love France and wish I was still there.
Thank you. Always a great video. The world needs more human beings like you--smart, insightful, positive, open handed & candid. I agree that there are many more positives to moving to France than negatives. That being said I think the biggest thing you have to be honest about is trying to get a geographic fix to get away from your problems, whatever they are. Especially family problems. They don't become less upsetting or fade with the distance. They do become harder to deal with in most cases. Also your personal attitude. There were moments when I was embarrassed by my fellow Americans. How did we ever think that wherever we are in the world the people who live there are the foreigners? I've even seen this from one location to another in the US. Name the group, any group--New Yorkers, Southerners, Mid-Westerners, Californians--there are always visitors from another area who think their way is the "right" way & who will complain about how "those" people are whether it's regional foods, etc. It's important to learn how to be a gracious & appreciative foreigner in a foreign country, in a new city, in a new job,.
It is heartbreaking to watch the divisiveness increase in the US especially since 2016 and then covid. Just so sad.
I love your videos! I've got to say they're really on point, and you've nailed our ways and how they could seriously unsettle a foreigner - namely American
Living in France for 16 years now, I agree with all of these points. Learning the language is especially important! But also, avoid the major cities. Living in a village (large or small) is way to properly integrate into French culture and prosper. But be invested in your local community!
NOT EVERYONE CAN SPEAK OR LEARN IT. I KNOW SOME FRENCH BUT I AM MOVING TO FRANCE SO GUESS I WILL PICK SOME OF THE LANGUAGE UP. MY FRIEND SPEAKS FRENCH SO I AM
MOVING WITH HER.
Funny how Americans expect foreigners to adapt to our ways if they move here, but expect other countries to adapt to Americans if they move to foreign countries!
I don't find that true about foreigners in the US.
Actually foreigners expect Americans to adapt to their ways when they move to America. Americans that travel tend to appreciate, respect and love other cultures. We are actually too critical of ourselves when overseas and way too accommodating to foreigners that move here.
@@caciliawhy5195 oh really?
Voting ballots and instructions are in half a dozen language in my very large southwestern city.
Same with street signs in select neighborhoods. Same with hiring practices for some civil servants (police & county hospital)
Learn the local language if you're going to reside long term (permanently) or get on next airplane OUT.
Guilty ✋🏾
Americanization :3
Thank you for a great video. Having grown up in Germany through my teenage years I would look very forward to living in France. In the U.S. I have come to feel like a fish out of water. 🐠 Thank you for all your valuable tips. 💐👍
You hit the nail on the head with each of these! I’ve lived here almost 1 year now, and all of these were slightly jarring at first and really important to be aware of before moving. Thank you for the reminder to not point out the cultural differences between US and France too often in front of other French people, I’ve noticed they cringe at that. Hope you’re doing well!
@Layne S "Thank you for the reminder to not point out the cultural differences between US and France too often in front of other French people" Yes French people (I am French) just like to point out what does not work in France BUT hate it when a foreigner joins the criticism. Sorry we are like this (Nous sommes cocardier- we love France)
Another triumph post Diane. I was unaware of humans app and will be checking in out. Joe.
What a cool video! I especially like the part of being a foreigner. I lived in Germany as a civilian for 18 years and know that feeling. Being a foreigner was sometimes frustrating, but a chance to see myself from a different perspective for personal development.
Hi, Diane!👋
Just wanted to say that everything you said is 💯% on the money, this should be the first vlog to watch before making a move to any one country. Cheers!
First, never heard of your sponsor and going to try it! TY also, I think your points are obvious and can’t imagine NOT thinking of those things moving to another part of my home state…let alone another country…that said, great work!
I love your 'real life in France' honesty nd found this video really great. It would be very helpful to almost everyone considering moving to France to really do some of that thoughtful work and research beforehand. Thank you so much for your perspective.
Thank you so much! So glad you found it helpful. ;-)
My wife and I are both Francophiles, though for different reasons. (mine historical, hers because raised in an Anglican church school). Of our many trips to France, the last time we rented an Apartment in Nice. Though my wife is a linguist (On one museum trip, she translated German tourists' questions and answers with the guide) I am not- but during our long stay in Nice I was able to get around the city and go to the grocery store. We are now old enough to sell our big house and buy something single story more suited to our capacity- and our discussion is whether to but that smaller place here in Indianapolis, or in a suburb of Nice. Or maybe Villefranche Sur Mer, which is cheaper, but easy train rides.
Villefranche Sur Mer is a nice place to live, Beaulieu as well !
@@claude_1c74 Villefranche sur Merde
Excellent and informative ,well thought out video.Thank you.
Thank you so much this video helped me a lot,although I live in France for 4 months so far.I really had all these problems you explain in the video and I felt very depressed about them when I first moved here,now I feel better about them and your video helped me see that it was normal
Great video! Your videos always inspire me! :)
As always, great video, great advices. Beside item 5 (the strikes), I believe your advices apply to the vast majority of countries; to the very idea of moving abroad; including moving to the US, except for item 8 (24/7) of course.
Isn't that just normal learning the language if you move permanently to any country in the world? You adapt to their culture food and the way they live.I came from the Netherlands to the UK the first thing you do is learn the language.
Hi Diane, thanks for a very informative video. I think I would find the strikes to be the hardest thing to deal with. On one of our vacations to France we had to change our plans a few times because of an extended SNCF strike, and we never knew if our train was actually going to be scheduled until the evening before. It's just an annoyance for a vacation, but it would really get to me if I had to deal with it regularly. Also, I think complaining might be the real national sport of France (not le foot). My French friends love to complain.
Very helpful video!
Everything that we want. Thanks for the awesome video. Well done.
Very good video. These are very good points that people considering moving here should think about.
Fantastic episode!!!!!
Great video thank you for presenting a sensible and unbiased view! Very rare!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Just got around to watching this video but you make really great points. Respect for the culture in which you find yourself is key. When I was just out of college, I traveled for about a year in Europe, and a bit in other places. What I realized was that everyone is the "same" - in that everyone has the same cares of home, family, work, health etc. they just go about it differently. I saw some really disrespectful behavior on the part of other Americans traveling and would think to myself that they would not appreciate it if a visitor from another country acted like that in the U.S. so why do they think it is acceptable to act disrespectfully? Also ran into people who wanted food to be the same as in the U.S. so they would only go to American chain restaurants. What is the point? You learn nothing of the culture when you try to recreate the life you have back home. Thank you for these types of videos!
It's similar with a lot of British people who have holiday homes in Spain, they want the UK but with better weather and they move to certain coastal locations on the basis that they will be able to eat British style food and be able to speak English to everybody.
Of course there are others who move because of the weather but also because they want to experience the culture. They are willing to move further inland away from the safety of the predominantly British beach enclaves to learn the language and immerse themselves in Spanish culture.
Well said. Another informative video.
Great perspective. 👍
As a Londoner living in very rural France I still, after years, get court out by lunchtime closing !!!!. BUT I don't regret moving, not one bit.
After 19 years here, I still struggle, with having to arrange my day around not being able to do things between 12 and 2. Still drives me nuts and it’ll never change on either side.
Hello Diane! For us, Europeans is easier to move to another European country because all the countries have many things in common. For example the slow way of life, the economic system, the society. For the Americans I think it's trickier.
Love your videos! We are a US/UK couple living in Frankfurt, Germany and we are planning to retire in France. My husband speaks almost fluent French and I am working on the French I had back in HS and university. Keep up the good work!
Oh Diane, I am not an American, but as Australian who would one day love to live in France, I always find your videos to be very realistic and educational.
Comme toujours, merci pour tes conseils honnetes et vrais!
PS - loving the mini vids of you and Tom speaking in French! Tres mignon! :)
Why so? Please stay civilized and do not destroy everything.
@@user-uu5jf3jo3o Why so what ? this person was not hostile
Diane is quite right : When you’re an expat, whatever your origin and home country, you just can’t expect to find the same social norms as in your home country and your suprises are bound to be sometimes positive and sometimes negative. Americans have that refreshing habit of easily socializing with complete strangers, especially by making compliments. Personally, I have overcome my French upbringing about that, and I’ve realized that when doing so, the American are not being nosy, that’s they’re not invading my privacy, but that they are just being nice, and now I find it really lovely and I miss it in France, my own country.
But then, don’t judge the French as cold people who will keep to themselves and never socialize. It’s just that beyond high-school age, we socialize through our activities, with people who share the same interests as us. We will become acquainted and make friends with the people of the Drama club that we attend, or within the circle of our church parish, or with the members of the charity which we support etc...
As far as I’m concerned I’m now learning Italian and I’m discovering how involved and dedicated they can be, far from the stereotypes of frivolity that we have about them. It’s just that the Italian will make a point to keep a happy face in the midst of trouble and difficulties. You really must go beyond stereotypes and see for yourself. Appearances are deceitful...
Thank you very much for your videos, Diane.
I must admit that I was initially hesitant watching this, for fear I’d find out France was not for me. But, I’m relieved to say, the only category I need to work on is the language. My husband is very fluent in French, and will occasionally speak to me in French, though only occasionally know what he’s saying. However, from being an avid reader, I do know some words and phrases, and at times I can guess at a French word’s meaning, because of the English word it derives from. I just need to discipline myself to learn more.
Until you speak the language here, you won’t enjoy the life you could have.
Wonderful information. I bought a house in Department 86 for use as a vacation home (my kids have requested I not move to France permanently). Slow pace is an understatement - closures for lunch every day for 2-3 hours, and on Sunday.
In the countryside, almost no one outside of American and British expats speak English. However, people are very patient with my language skills - we often laugh about my calling myself the "stupide American"
Lastly, it is not easy making friends. At least in the countryside, it takes a lot of time for people to get comfortable. Many have lived in the location most of their lives. It just takes time.
Love your videos! Thank you for always providing excellent information, and often, a chuckle. A bientot...
As a French native person, I'd say most of the things that are bound to get on your nerves like strikes, administration or even political aspects are also hugely disliked by at least half of the French population. It might be hard to assess as a foreigner, but I'd add there are great divides in French society in terms of views on life in general, touching all aspects of the culture, not just politics. France is really at the crossroads of Western Europe and Central Europe, Northern Europe and Southern Europe, and that's before considering the many ethnicities that have now been part of the French population but only since the last 2 generations or so.
Of course french people might dislikes things that are more or less common in their country but in the video she is speaking from the perspective of someone who is shocked by this things and might not accept it. We must admit that in France, many people, even if they are really exasperated while it's happening, accept the strikes because they are used to it and it's not unthinkable for them that this kind of disruption will happen (and i'm not even talking about people who are politically leaning toward the political views of the strikers). Some people could find strikes unbearable to the point of not being able to live in France. In comparison, french people could be shocked in the same way by the high rate of school shootings in the US to the point of not being able to bear it and prefering even more strikes in France.
Comparing mass shootings with strikes is hardly comparing like for like, eh ?
Preach, sister, preach!
Hopefully your important points will hit home with somebody acting on a whim.
Great video Diane!, tks.
As an Australian residing in France since 2021, am loving the experience with my new life. I agree with what you've explained so well here - especially went it comes to really learning the language. However, I wonder if you might consider adding another point with respect to the French administrative process, which I have adapted to now, and come to redefine the definition of the word "patience" where it becomes stretched long like a "chewing gum", haha.
As someone who is looking to move to France in a few years, having you here, as well as others is great.
What you say in that video can apply to all people migrating to an other country... They often say that in that other country they don't do things properly, instead of trying to adapt... It's not easy but what you say is so true!
I would love to see you do videos for french wanting to immigrate to America... 😉
Excellent advice! I studied and worked in France on and off since the 1980s and in 2002 I moved full time to Brittany. Over the years I have met many folk who have not followed your advice … I have translated official documents, made many phone calls, accompanied them to doctors and to hospitals etc etc …. (I’ve never charged btw). It breaks my heart to see the trouble they are encountering ~ some deal with them but so many expect the French to speak English.
Thanks for your very helpful advice. !
You are welcome!
A good friend lived in the hills outside Nice for a decade. He revealed in all areas of French life, including arcane parking laws. He spoke great French, but with a strong Southern American accent. No one ever complained about his accent. Small town life.
Couldn't agree more. it's so true that the stress of adapting to a new culture, like the French one, can be too much to handle
Great advice. Except for #6, i broke all our tips and lived happily in France for 4 years, I must be an exception to this advice although I did travel and work in many other European countries prior to moving to France and I was able to adapt quickly to the culture.
I was last in Paris in 2017 and I was really surprised with the amount of stores open on the weekend, including Sunday. On all my prior trips almost everything was closed on Sunday. except some markets and the Marias always had open stores.
Well, Paris is... Paris. And then there's the real France outside Paris😉
I live in Paris and indeed the number of shops that open on sundays tends to increase
The law changed a few years ago to allow stores to open in some designated touristic areas and at some specific days. Also, big stores sometimes choose to pay the fine and open on Sundays anyway.
I recently discovered your channel and am enjoying the videos. The best piece of advice: Learn the language. You have to be able to talk to the locals.
Welcome, so glad you enjoy my content!
I think that your points apply to anyone moving from one country to another, even if the language is essentially the same, but especially with language and cultural differences. I do remember many years ago a program here in Australia where a New Zealand couple were living in rural France. They were asked if they had any problems , and they said that they hadn't had any problems with the French, but you had to make an effort to learn to adapt. The same with any country. Act arrogant and "we're better" and you'll have a bad experience.
That said, I briefly worked with a French chap from near Lyon, and he didn't like the people from Paris :P
@thhseeking "That said, I briefly worked with a French chap from near Lyon, and he didn't like the people from Paris :P"
This is called prejudice. In rural France, Parisians are often suspected to be condescendant to other people (and some of them are!). As a Frenchman I lived and worked in Germany: Bavarian people are despised by north-Germans; USA: In Georgia and other southern states, "Yankees" are not overly appreciated and Californians are from a different planet; China: in Nanjing don't mention Beijing (different, uncivilized people speaking a different language). And the list goes on and on. This is 100% about prejudice.
@@johnjeanb I won't mention what Wallons think of the Flemish 😝😝😝 Vice-versa too, no doubt 😝
good stuff - thanks
Glad you enjoyed it!
Just moved to France. My husband is French and we had no alternatives due to Covid (we lost our jobs in Southern Africa). I’m a bit apprehensive as I have a lot to learn but looking forward to it so far. Wish us luck!
Welcome! Sending you tons of luck ;-))) Just take it one day at a time.
Thank youuuuuu and greetings from Dubai.
I frequently 'call out' ,to use an americanism , English people who call themselves Ex Pats . They are Migrants, Imigrants and would do well to remember this. People who imigrate are more likely to drop the arogance that leads to enclaves of English living in tight groups and never learning enough of the local language in Spain. The ones who ,ironicaly, voted for Brexit then were surprised that they had to apply to stay and recieve health care . I presume people from the USA use ex pat too as you do. Amusing that they don't disect the term and see it says they are Former Patriots of the USA, England etc and think through their changed loyalty now they are citizens of the EU and the World
New Subscriber. I appreiate your videos - very informative and insightful. :)
Thanks so much and welcome!
I enjoy your channel even as a bi-lingual, bi-cultural dual citizen. 28 years in the US and now 30 years in France.
I actually watched this one to see if you mentioned the strikes. It is really a shock coming from the US where strikes are rare and when they happen, long and heated, to here where the trains are in strike for 24 hous and then everything is back to normal like nothing happened....
most of these points are great Dianne, thanks for the nice and relevant content.
if I could add, don't move to France if you're too much of a climato skeptical. French people are not at all super-climate conscious but general habits are just different : most people living in the suburban small towns around cities use public transportation to move around, no all car system, a lot of simple things like no ACs, drying clothes naturally, etc... its just little things that arent even climate conscious, but more traditional / cultural.
Also, density. Even French villages have houses close to each other, and most suburbs have 4-5 floors or more buildings. the layout of North American density just is inexistant. so if you really are used or attached to low density, France isn't for you.
I dont want to get too political but I agree, dont move to France if you are scared of the word socialist. But also, dont think as a North American that if you are a liberal, life in France will be easy and confortable. French leftism is very very different. So be ready to have your political standards challenged and moved in France, maybe as much as an American conservative. Just dont think being a liberal will make it easier or a piece of cake for you.
Could you elaborate on that at all?
I'm a moderate American leftist (Social Democrat) and I'd like to understand what the differences would be between the American left and the French left.
@@raspberrybitch4299 we have elections going on right now so I'll try not to be influenced and draw a general line. firstly, the Democrat party isn't a leftist party. its a liberal right-wing one. post-ww2 we were much more leftist than the US as we did not reppress our communists and socialists and even conservatives led a dirigist (planification) statist ideological line in order to rebuild the country. the Communist Party was the first opposition party and locally very hegemonic in suburbs and industrial areas. I, for exemple, grew in a place called the "red belt" which is a set of communist led small suburban towns. (our municipal elections and parties are politicised unlike the US where municipal elections are almost like city janitor management). after the neoliberal turn, unfortunately our Socialist Party turned liberal compatible and shifted more and more centrist. today its null and failed in influence and scores because of that. the major left wing (1/3) of the electorate today is openly anti-liberal, pro-plannification, anti-NATO, anti-EU, wants to limit wealth, block prices, students wages... (LFI France). Nationalisations were a common leftist policy too, in France as well as in the UK.
The US type of no free universities, no free healthcare, no public services is unfortunately making its way to Europe but its still unthinkable for anyone on the left to hold such positions and hated, and un-admissible even for right-wing parties.
a "moderate" US leftist is an average European right-winger. unless you grasp political spectrums in a non-US centric way and do not consider Democrats as synonym of "left". Are you more Sanders or Biden ? What's your position on social housing, free education, free and développed transit, raising wages, limiting and taking wealth, free healthcare, free culture, nationalisations of strategical structures (energy, networks, banks, gambling, transports, culture etc)...?
@@raspberrybitch4299 I lived 3 years in California and was horified at the rightwing stance I observed in supposedly Left wing people. I've been back in Wales ,where we have a Lafur government supported by Plaid Cymru another Left wing party, for many years but my daughter lives in the USA and my nephew in France so I know where both are coming from. Left in USA is well to the right of centre in Wales and France which is sad because you did once celebrate Labour Day as a Workers event
I think it’s also especially important not to overstate the differences between the US and France, yes it’s a different country, but you’re not moving to Sudan or Vietnam or North Korea. You’re moving to another industrialised, rich, western democracy. Yes there are some differences, but it’s important not to overstate the differences and make it seem like some strange and bizarre other world.
Bien résumé. Bon’ je suis pas Français mais Belge 😅. Votre anglais est assez clair à comprendre 👍
The most important French word to know is “euh”. That way, if you don’t know how to say something, you can pretend that you know, but you just forgot. “Bon, euh… alors, euh…” After that, the most important words are “truc” and “machin” (“thing”). They also make you sound like a fluent speaker who just happened to forget a certain word or phrase.
Frenchman here: Diane all what you say is very true. Bravo for this honest warning. I worked and lived in the USA, in mainland China, Germany and other countries. Among all the points you raised, the most important are: ** 1 ** Family and ties with loved ones (they are impacted by long distance); ** 2 ** You become the immigrant (it makes you see immigrants in your country diffrently); ** 3 ** Language: there is no question that without control of the local language you can't succeed (I controlled all local languages except Mandarin when in China which showed me the importance of LOCAL language - not only Mandarin but also Shanghaiese or Beijingese or Cantonese, etc). ** 4 ** I love my country France BUT administration is quite large here (you may feel it as an intrusion into your life). Example: it is planned to merge the "Carte Nationale d'Identité" with the Social security Smart card "Carte Vitale".
Also - for fun - be prepared after a stay in a country (total immersion) to start dreaming in French after a couple of month. Very disturbing the first night it happens.
Another thing to remember about Europe is that every country is a new language when you travel. Imagine if you lived in Texas (about the size of France) and Oklahoma, Louisiana, New Mexico, Arizona, California all are within driving distance but they don't speak your language. It can be super frustrating. Americans are spoiled by having a very large country with a LOT of cultural diversity amongst each state, yet your driver's license doesn't need to change, your car insurance covers you everywhere, and no need to learn the language or laws. It's cohesive. Wine may be cheaper but the petrol is $7-$8 per gallon. If you plan to work in most EU countries, the taxes are brutal compared to the US. You have to factor in what you pay for health insurance premiums too.
I am an american and I married a french woman. after 5 years living in the usa she was ready to move closer to her family. So now at 48 Im preparing to move to france and begin to look for work. I speak the basics but I hope I can find a language school to help when I arrive. I live the french style already in the usa but it will be an intense challenge to learn the language and find work.
Wishing you the best on your next chapter!
The other thing in France is that there are significant cultural differences between regions. Here is my take:
spent 10 years in Normandy. Loved it: food, historical heritage, landscapes, people do not like « horseins » but can be welcoming. Read Maupassant you will get the spirit. There is also a real cultural life there.
Lived 5 years in Paris and ran away. Hated the parisian arrogance and « no life ».
Lived 6 years in Haute Savoie and loved it: nature, ski, diversity with proximity of Switzerland and Italy. Quite expensive real estate.
Spent 15 years in Alsace and hated it. Racism, low education associated with high cross border salaries, need to show off with big car big house, abusive and unjustified local pride, actually poor food touristically pretentious, wines are ok but dont overdo it please, ridiculous accent, no real cultural life other than soirée choucroute, repas carpes frites, loto à la salle des fêtes du village. Une affligeant pauvreté intellectuelle. Juste des consommateurs.
Now in Pyrénées for 4 years.Love it! Wow landscapes, relaxed and intelligent people that don’t need to show off, cute and humble architecture, mild winters, a real culture around good food and wines. 😅
Also experienced Provence as my folks used to living there. Superficial and noisy dirty people. Overcrowded with a majority of rich elderly people. Overpriced. Nit even considering hhe upcoming climate change hell over there.
Everything you said in this video except “Strikes “ is true everywhere not just France. I was hoping you give us a list specific to France next time. Thank you anyway a good reminder about general issues when moving abroad.
The UK is a good one for strikes currently 😡
There's quite a bit of financial shock as well. Your dollar is worth about 16% less in France due to currency differences. I don't see that getting any better over time. Great points though and I appreciate the effort you put into the channel.
Call me weird for it; but I'm actually excited by the fact that the Euro is worth more than the Dollar. It makes it feel like I'm "upgrading" my currency to something more valuable.
Merci beaucoup
Hi Diane. I love your nails. I was told french girls dont use acrylic nails in france - is it true? Is it hard to get your nails done, or do you do them yourself xxx
While most women I've known tended to keep it natural when it came to nails, I do know that there are some women who go for acrylics..it'd just not as common. And, yes, you can get it done at a salon :)
Hi Stephanie, there are definitely more hair salons in France than nail salons but in my area, there are nail salons and they stay in business. I go every 3-1/2 weeks or so and salons offer gel manicures, acrylic, extensions, pedicures, dipping nails, etc. I'd say getting one's nails done is more popular culturally in the US overall but French women do get their nails done. ;-)
I think what you described apply to almost every western Europe countries…not very specific to france i would say, thanks for the vid anyway
I feel that every point except the strikes and slow life are applicable to every country.
The point about problems can be more precise - one should not move because of endogenous problems. Say, if you get yourself into toxic relationships often, maybe you should work on learning how to choose a partner first. Before you move, you should be a Sysphrus - you dislike how things are, but also you atuned yourself to find fun within it. Only a Sysphrus has the altitude and energy to navigate a new environment.
Advises like learning the language or being ready to embrass the way people do things in their own country is true where ever you move to. When immigrating to a country, you are the immigrant, you are the foreigner, that is up to you to adapt, not to the people who are at home.
Personally, I think #8 is the most important. Changing to anywhere simply takes more time. Every interaction is new and hampered (usually) by the language. The only thing to expect to be faster is travel. Nowhere in France can you drive all day on a dead straight highway at 80mph. Once one accepts a slower pace, things you were not aware were tense relax.
My wife kept telling me to watch your videos because you are concise, and informative. So I did, and she is right. We live in France now. The French bureaucracy is crazy, but getting through the process the first time makes you feel like a superhero; and if you're polite, have some grasp of French and try to speak, even with flaws, it will be very difficult to find a French civil servant whose not helpful and supportive. Should we not ask ourselves how accommodating we would be with a culturally insensitive (i.e. arrogant and rude) person? French people don't smile much, if they don't know you. That is still a bit disconcerting for me, but being aware is more than half the battle.
Hello Diane! What was you biggest culture shock with French culture when you discover it and fr'ch society? Thanks for your work.
A series of realistic counterpoints to the many fanboy / -girl videos about expat life in France. Fundamental considerations for those contemplating a move.
There is no place in the world where everything is perfect. What is wonderful for one person, may not be so for someone else. The willingness to learn the language and to adjust to new ways of life will do the trick. Observe, don't judge.
I have been in the USA for 24 years, and when I go to a store, I annm still being asked: Where are you from? Do you like it here? It is eroding to be the foreigner at times.
Eroding is the perfect way to put it. It really feels like that sometimes.
I lived all over the world and find the US the most inviting place for non-native.
Une vidéo très intéressante et très franche. Genre "ne venez pas si vous avez un problème avec l'idée de socialisme". Je me roule par terre de rire
I agree. She’s talking essentially to an American audience, to who “socialism” is everything that deviates, even slightly, from the rule of the jungle.
That said, I have also a problem with French “socialism”, tax money is wasted in so many ways by our infamously incompetent politicians.
@@TheFrederic888 well to be fair that is true for most countries if not all. But I do think that Americans would be shocked and outraged if they saw the taxes they need to pay in France.
@@labranehit7687 I'm pretty sure that if you add the cost of a decent private health insurance to American taxes, you are not far from the cost of French taxes though...
Don't move to France if you hate taxes. Also it's not the same to move to Paris, Marseille, Rennes, Lille, la Loire, la Gascogne, Nice, Annecy and even less le 93, les Minguettes, Mantes la Jolie or anywhere near the 14 "zones de sécurité prioritaires". France has different weather, different landscapes, different kind of populations and different lifestyles depending where you go. Also some areas are so full of tourist in the summertime that they will ruin you mood as well as the environment. Speaking about environment some areas host polluting industries (even rural areas) and don"t forget to look at the nuclear plants map as well (70% of french electricity is atomic). So take you time and study the pro and cons of each area, visit it many times.