Are YouTubers Smarter Than A 10 Year Old?
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- čas přidán 19. 10. 2021
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Managed to get a picture with REM, that’s me in the corner.
Very good
You win
You win
my love for that song has caused me to exhale greatly whilst reading this... congratulations! Do you have Twitter/Insta I can follow and DM you on and sort out making your Monday £250 better?
omg!!! yes its lauraaliily!! thank you so much 💖
I think it's time we make Zac take an IQ test.
that time was years ago
Agreed
Indeed
Yes
Best joke! Treat yourself 😂 xx
2.5 isn't a mixed fraction, it's a decimal. 2 1/2 is a mixed fraction, ergo the game is wrong, and there's no shame for you Ciarán.
That's exactly what I thought
Just about to comment upon the same statement. Game is wrong thus their needs to be a rematch
@@matthewamosvlogs936 there*
Thank you! 😂
Except he thought it was 1 2/5...
A man attends a funeral and asks the widow if he can say a word, she agrees. He steps up clears his throat and says “Plethora”, then sits back down. The widow replies “Thanks, that means a lot”.
am i stupid i don’t get it
ohhhh
Ha
I was applying for an Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked "do you have a criminal record?" I said "no, is that still required?"
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk in to donate blood.
The rabbit says "I think I might be a type-O."
My grief counsellor died, but he was so good that I don’t even care.
Hehe
Gary Delaney
Damn
YIKES
Horse walks into a bar
Bartender: Hey
Horse: Yes please
I will never forget my granddad’s final words
“Are you still holding the fucking ladder?”
Great video - here's the best joke I could think of off the top of of my head:
I walked in a butchers and the guy said that he bet me 20 quid I couldn't reach those two bits of meat up there. But I said I'm not betting.
The steaks were too high.
Don’t know if anyone has said this but I’m pretty sure the reason it’s called pencil lead is because it used to be lead but when they found out about the side effects of lead they switched to graphite
A pair of cows were talking in the field.
One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says, “makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
Who's the nicest guy in a hospital?
The ultrasound guy.
And who covers for him when he's away?
The hip replacement guy
Ciarán looks like a proud dad every time Zac gets a question right :)
I always take my wife morning coffee in my pyjamas. But is she grateful? No. She says she'd rather have it in a cup
Its tea not coffee lol
@@matthewlemaistre2614 it couldn’t matter less
@@jackvickers8816 have you seen the video?
Ciaran is criminally underrated, that’s not the joke btw
There are 7 dwarves in a bath feeling happy. Happy gets out so they all feel grumpy.
Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticise them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.
I gave my daughter a fridge for her birthday. It was great seeing her face light up when she opened it
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, “Hey, they named a drink after you!”
“Really?” replies the grasshopper. “There’s a drink named Stan?”
Knock knock 🚪
Who’s there?
Smellip
Smellip-who?
…💩
£250 thank you very much
(Sorry, had to go for the most childish joke I know)
“My girlfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down” - love you Ciaran
how does Zac get the easiest questions but still not know them 😂
Well…he did
I went into the pet shop the other day to buy a goldfish. The bloke asked if I wanted an aquarium. I said “I don’t care what star sign it is”
Apparently the English language is one of the hardest to learn.
For example, ‘knight’ has a silent K, ‘Knick knack’ has 4 silent Ks and ‘republican’ has 3 silent Ks
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
My voice went higher when I sucked helium.
He was a good priest.
I miss my grandfather I'll always remember his last word's "stop shaking the ladder"
why do swedish boats have barcodes on them?
so they can Scandinavian.
What’s the difference between people from Dubai and people from Abu Dhabi?
People from Dubai don’t like the Flinstones but people from Abu Dhabi Do
What is the opposite of a croissant? A happy uncle.
There was once a farmer who loved his tractors, he had posters and models and a tractor of his own
The only thing he loved more was his darling wife
One day a horrible accident occurred and his wife was flattened by a tractor
Upon hearing the news the farmer tears down his posters, bins his models and sells his tractor
A few years later he is on a date with a woman, trying to move on after his wifes death
Suddenly the restaurant fills with smoke from the kitchen, his date screams but he tells her not to worry
He stands up and sucks in the smoke, rushes outside, and blows it out
He does this a few times until all the smoke had gone
The date said “wow, how did u do that?”
The farmer replied “im an ex-tractor fan”
Two nuns are driving on a dark and stormy night, through the winding back roads of Transelvainia. Wind lashes and lightning flashes in the distance. All of a sudden a vampire slams himself onto their window terrifying the poor nuns. As he hisses and violently shakes the car, one nun screams “show him your cross”
The other nun yells “Get off the fucking Window!”
Two cows stood in a field, one says to the other
"you heard about this mad cow disease?"
The other cow says back looking confused..
"Don't know what you're on about Nigel, I'm a dog"
A man in a wheelchair stole my camouflage jacket. I called out after him “You can hide, but you can’t run!” .
I was working as a barman and a bloke walked in and put a 1 foot tall man on the bar and a small piano, in no time the bar was filled with amazing piano music.
I asked the bloke 'thats amazing, where did you get him from?'
He took a lamp from his pocket and said 'if you rub this a genie will appear and grant you 1 wish'
I grabbed the lamp and the genie appeared in all his glory and asked me what my wish was.
'I wish I had a million bucks'
As soon as I finished my wish the genie disappeared and 1 by 1 a million ducks started walking into the bar. I said 'what's happened here? I think that genie is hard of hearing, I asked for a million bucks not a million ducks'
The bloke looked at me with a weary expression and said 'do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?'
The past, the present and the future walked into a bar
It was tense
I don’t remember many jokes unless I specifically relate to them, many I know are MH related, this one gave me a chuckle when I first heard it - “Dating with mental health is a little different - third base is when they see you having an anxiety attack.”
- What do you call a deer with no eyes?
- No idea
…
- What do you call a dead deer with no eyes?
- Still no idea
Zac with one of the greatest character arcs of modern media
I bought a TV in the sale, dead cheap but the volume was stuck on full.
I thought, "I can't turn that down."
Freud walks into a bar.
The bartender says “sorry, we can’t serve you”.
Freud walks out, shouting, “mother fucker”
Son: Why is my sister called Teresa?
Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram
Son: Thanks dad
Dad: No problem Alan
To the guy who stole my antidepressants: I hope you’re happy now.
My dad used to always say, “You should fight fire with fire!” Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire department.
A horse walk's into a bar. The bar tender says 'Why the long face?'
The horse reply's 'My alcoholism is destroying my family'
A group of nuns all go for a bike ride, and they're giggling the whole way. The mother superior calls to them "stop giggling or I'll put the saddles back on"
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
An Ambulance
A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”
“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
Why did the chicken cross the road? - to get to your house
Knock knock - who’s there? - the chicken
Recently there has been a lot of property damage in the area, specifically to washing machines. The police couldn't find the culprit, but yesterday they found a dead body and linked the fingerprints to the damaged property, the man's name was Callum, all the locals are so happy because washing machines live longer with cal gone
thought you’d appreciate a harry potter joke:
Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a bad professor?
Because he can’t control his pupils
Alex’s hair. All the stages. Tell him to get that bandana back, that looked good
I used to have a job at a bowling alley, it wasn't permanent though, just TenPin
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
What do you get a naughty child with no arms for Christmas, a tennis ball. Worst thing is they still haven't opened it.
I rang work and I said "I can't come in today, I have a wee cough" The boss said "You have a wee cough?" I said "Wow, thanks boss, see you next Wednesday!"
joke time:
a man walks into his doctors office
the doctor looks at his results
asks him to pick a star sign any star sign
the man thinks and says...dunno Capricorn?
and the doctor says, close but no...you have cancer...
Two fish are in a tank,
One fish turns to the other and asks;
“How do we drive this thing”
Local advertisement: Broken guitar for sale; no strings attached
Two bike riding nuns return from a day out, and the younger says to the older “I’ve never come that way before” and the older says “It’s the cobblestones”
So when I was growing up, we had this family friend who was a farmer, and this guy was absolutely obsessed with tractors. He had posters all over his walls, he bought all the tractor magazines every week, he spent all his free time talking about tractors online etc. The only thing in his life that could compare to his love of tractors was his wife. They were childhood sweethearts, had been married for 20-odd years, never argued about anything, a proper love story for the ages. Anyway, one night the farmer was out tending to his fields in one of his many, many tractors, as he did every day and night, and after he had finished his work and was reversing his tractor back into the barn where he kept it, he hit something. The farmer simply just assumed he had accidentally gone too far back and hit the hay bales he kept at the back of the barn. Either way, he got out and checked just to be sure, and to his absolute horror he found he had actually reversed straight into his wife. She had come out to look for him to tell him she was headed to bed early that night, and in the dark he hadn't seen her behind the tractor, and the tractors engine covered up the noise of her shouting for the farmer to stop. The wife was rushed into an ambulance but was unfortunately pronounced dead on the way to the hospital from her injuries. This, understandably, absolutely broke the farmer. One of his favourite things in the world had just killed his other favourite thing. This lead to the farmer questioning whether he could still love tractors after one had just killed his wife, and after much deliberation, he got rid of the posters, stopped buying the magazines, and he stopped going online to talk about tractors. He fell out of love with them. Very slowly over time, the farmer started meeting people again and started going on some dates, as him and his late wife had always promised they'd do if the other one died. At one of these dates, the farmer noticed smoke started coming out of the kitchen of the restaurant the date was at. At first it was only a small amount, but over time more and more smoke came bellowing out of this kitchen, at which point a chef ran out screaming "FIRE!" with the rest of the kitchen staff following him. This led to a massive scramble of everyone trying to rush out the door, everyone except the farmer. He simply just walked towards the kitchen, stood tall, put his shoulders back and took the deepest breath that he could, somehow breathing in every bit of smoke in the restaurant whilst also cutting the oxygen supply of the fire and putting it out. He then walked outside and breathed all the smoke out of his lungs into the air. Obviously everyone was shocked and began asking him how the hell he did that, to which he simply replied "I'm an ex-tractor fan".
“Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?”-George Carlin
a man goes to a library and asks the librarian if she has any books on turtles. 'hard back?' she asks. 'aye and the tiny heads'
2 nuns are sitting on a park bench, when suddenly a man comes and flashes them. One of them has a stroke, but the other couldn't reach
Great video!
Joke - I got my wife a bionic leg for Christmas last year.
It wasn't her main present though, it was more of a stocking filler.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in a microwave and it’s Bill Withers…
3 kids were asking their mother about their names.
Leafy asked:- Mama, why is my name Leafy?
The Mother answered:- Cause when you were born a Leaf fell on your head
Then Rainy asked:- Mama, why is my name Rainy?
The mother said:- Because when your were born, the water from the rain fell on your head
Then Bricky Asked:- SANMAM,,, EHYWY DISIIS HJHHTMHMGM AMENMA BFIJCKCY¿
I hear you need 2 pandas, 6 grizzlies and 4 polars to open a zoo,
It's the bear minimum!
Joke:
What’s black and at the top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire
What do you call Stephen hawking with a Hand grenade: RC-XD
A man walks into a hardware shop. He goes up to the counter and asks for some screws to which the store assistant replies “How long do you want them?”. Confused, the man exclaims “I want to keep them!”
A woman who just went into Labor suddenly shouted “Shouldn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t, didn’t, can’t”.
“Don’t worry” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions”
I liked this
What’s starts with M and ends with Arriage.
Miscarriage
That joke never gets old, and neither does the baby.
What do you call a lobster that throws things?
A lobber
What do a puppy and a near-sighted gynaecologist have in common? A wet nose
Two sausages sizzling in a pan,
One sausage says to the other “Jesus it’s hot in here”
The other sausage replies
“ FUCKIN HELL A TALKING SAUSAGE”
Prediction:
- Ciarán: Definitely
- Will: Probably
- Zac: Nah
Pretty much the opposite lmao
What do you call a rooster staring at a piece of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad
They did a study on renewable energy testing wind turbines and found out that they produce more energy when music is played near them. Apparently they are huge metal fans.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other off.
Also, sick video. I’m quite disappointed that you lost to Zac though..🤣
zac was fuming when he found out he learned and tried to finally read a book all for pride
Intro was too jokes 🤣
I saw an advert in a window that said ‘Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.’ I thought, ‘I can’t turn that down.'
ciarán: let's use a ds emulator to play are you smarter than a 10 year old?
me, an intellectual: let's use a ds emulator to play pokémon games
You aren’t an intellectual
@@InfinityTornado i was just making a joke lmao
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates
I picked up a hitchhiker last week, once he got in the car he thanked me but questioned whether I was nervous that he could be a serial killer. I simply replied “nah, chances of 2 serial killers in one car is very slim”
My favorite book is The Hunchback of Notre-Dame...
I just love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
dont have to watch to know ill love this!
The world's leading expert on wasps walks into a record shop. As he’s flicking through the records he comes across one titled “101 wasp sounds”, the expert grabs the record and buys it instantly.
He takes home his new record excited to play it, but to not read any of the track list and to challenge himself to spot which species of wasp each track is a recording of. He listens to track one but can’t for the life of him seem to work out what it is. “Hmm that’s strange” thought the expert, so he skips to track 2 and once again is completely stumped. This goes on and on until he’s listened to all 101 tracks and couldn’t name a single one.
The following day the expert storms back to the record shop, goes to the counter and says "This is outrageous false advertising! I am the words leading wasp expert and no specimen of wasp that I know of has ever made a sound like the ones on this!” The shop assistant calms the man down, then explains to him that he had actually been listening to the Bee side.
This is class, thank you
As a vinyl DJ this made me laugh way more than I should have 😆
Dan Behenna. Jokes don't usually make me laugh but this is one of the few that did 😂very good thanks! ✌
A Sandwich walks into a bar. Bartender says, "sorry we don't serve food here"
I hate when passwords say they have to be eight characters long. The only one I can ever think of is Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
I would have said that my best joke was my parents marriage but jokes have meaning
Ask me what I’m doing tomorrow
What are you doing tomorrow Andy?
Well first I’m collecting my glasses and then I’ll see…
what
Two nuns are sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them.
The first nun has a stroke.
The second nun tries but can't reach.
Why do elephants paint their balls red? To hide in cherry trees. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? A giraffe eating cherries.
A piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the bartender says "no we don't serve your kind in here". So the piece of string walks out of the bar, ties himself together and messes his hair up. The piece of string walks back into the bar and says "ill have that drink now". The bartender says "aren't you that piece of string I refused earlier". The piece of string says " No, I'm A Freyed knot"
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet
Ciaran can you laugh for no reason? no joke ? just my life
Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says
"Do you know how to drive this thing?"
I was gonna make a joke about my existence but, that would take an biography.
So I figured my team was hilarious enough.
Portsmouth fc are have an astounding season. Wouldn't you agree?