@@fai8980 Probably a hot meal and some shelter in your bathroom :c if it gives Virgin birth to another sink, then you should make a religion out of it.
@@Liquid_Mike imagine if you will a hippopotamus turning tricks at the corner of space and time, she beckons you down a poorly lit alley known as, the Twilight Zone.
every time I describe a character's outfit in my writing, I can't help but fear that I sound like fucking Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way. This fic has ruined me.
Me writing: "She wore a rumpled black tee and sweatpants, and her bleary eyes peeked through messy red hair..." (Spring in My Step intensifies) GOD DAMMIT
@@amberhernandez Thank you for telling me what the song is. I've been scrolling through the comments and every time it came on, I would zip back to the top to see what she was wearing now.
Looked back on what I wrote years ago: "I’m wearing a custom-made, georgette, a-line evening dress, chrysanthemums printed in the illusion sleeves where they look connected to one another. The dress is colored in red and going down, orange blends with falling autumn are printed at the sides of the dress." 🙃🙃🙃🙃
Werevixen I tried this. I don’t think anyone would’ve given a fuck if it hadn’t been 2 in the morning. I am currently banished from my house. On the bright side though, I haven’t been thrown into a insane asylum or been apprehended by the police for listening to satan’s preachings. You my brudda, have saved me from getting the Electric Chair.
Imagine getting a new puppy, and then one day you put on your shoe and hear a loud wet squelch. You take off your shoe to reveal puppy shit. Your dog has taken a shit in both of your shoes. You feel disgusted as if you're going to puke. You grab another pair of shoes from your closet, but when you put on the left shoe, you hear an even louder, even wetter squelch. Your new puppy has taken a shit in every pair of shoes in your closet, shit on every article of clothing, every accessory that you own. All of them are irreparably destroyed. Now, fast forward to the release of Wednesday, you hope for a good show, but upon finishing the show, you stare hollow-eyed at your TV screen, reminded of the same hopeless, depressed feeling as the day your new best friend destroyed your wardrobe. A wardrobe full of shit is an accurate representation of that divine punishment that calls itself a show, after all.
I feel like it'd be applicable to many jokes, too. "Where'd you get that gun, Parry Hotter?" "Voldemort." "What?" "Voldemort gave me a gun." "Voldemort is dead, Parry."
Nah fam he gave away m9s in like my own spin off to the spin off called My imMROTAl since he learned that they are easier to conceal see? character development!
@@sirbobby7785 Hagrid got on his flying motorcycle and began to chase after Harry while listening to My Chemical Romance. A group of preps were staring at him, but he raised his middle finger at them.
The funniest part about this whole thing is that Draco would absolutely hate Ebony. He’s head boy of Slytherin, teacher’s pet, elitist and hates people who don’t fit into high wizard society. 😂
She defends the "mary-sue" nature of the character, and then proceeds to have her one-shot the bbeg, get caught in a love quadrangle, and literally exclaim "oh no. why am i so good at everything". This is amazing.
@@victorlolxd7347no, satanism is an atheistic religion that doesn't worship a literal Satan but rather uses Satan and satanic imagery as a form of rebellion against the corruption of organized religions. With the founder Anton Lavey often criticizing the hypocrisy and overall immoral issues caused by religion, especially Evangelicals and Catholics at the time. The idea of satanism being a cult was an idea only brought up by the Catholic church in the 80s during the satanic panic and perpetuated by the media. Though there are literal devil worshipers in existence, but most of them either dub themselves as some type of pagan or a luciferian, not satanists. Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
The child who wrote it admitted that she never read the books, and only saw the first 4 movies. The only reason this is connected to Harry Potter at all is because her friend had also written HP fanfiction.
@@chadthundercock7897Not to mention that the casual drug use, "scray" violence, crossovers, and the nonchalant bisexuality of the characters is really reminiscent of Easton Ellis's work. It's like a gothic version of Less Than Zero.
I wish I could combine that talent with my writing or when playing D&D. I am incapable of even visualizing character's clothing, let alone describe them. I'm not great at the rest either but passable enough. I can visualize and describe a lovecraftian creature in reasonable details, but the hero facing it is just some guy in a suit (who may or may not be wearing a hat).
It took me _literally years_ to realise that when she said "kind of like a pentagram between Joel Madden and Gerard Way" it was a play on "a cross between" Because pentagrams are like her equivalent of crosses
“And then he put his thingy into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.” This is my favorite line in anything ever. It cracks me up every time I hear it, and I have to rewind to hear it multiple times
This is the best piece of fanfiction ever written. Ebony is the definition of chaotic neutral and could probably be reworked into a really fun character.
I thought she was chaotic evil. But ignoring that I think you do have a point that she could be made a fun character if someone who isn't a mentally disturbed pre teen wrote this.
I think that “Crookshanks” is probably my favorite misspelling of Crucio Ive ever heard in my life. I feel like instead of Torturing the target it should just make them break it down, but just in the most awkward was possible.
Yeah I’m so confused he got shod died but can’t die cause the only thing that can kill him is a “C-R-O-S-S” literally none of that made sense to me just typing it
3 watches later and I finally understand what it means at 18:00. "He was wearing messy eyeliner like a pentagram between Joel Madden and Gerard Way." A pentagram. Like a cross. A cross between JM and GW. Facepalm moment.
It's viewing 6 or7. This has officially become the funniest thing in the world to me. Every misspelling is a delight. Every authors note is sweet oblivious honey to my ears. This is truly a magical experience.
@@theblackbaron4119 No The bad shit usually gets deleted there are many that are mediocre, however there are many great stories in the SCP arsenal. Plus SCP is not limited to horror, that was 10 years ago, now you can find all kinds of fiction there, Character Driven Drama, Comedy, Horror or just more discriptive peices that ride off of natural human curiosity and intice the reader with mystery and Creative ideas.
I wouldn't be surprised if the author was the type to make goth outfit boards on pinterest and this is just her masticating to her own fashion choices.
My favorite part is when dumbedore grinds down the staircase on his skateboard. His headache is the only consistent plot point right next to her clothes. I also greatly appreciate all the work you out into the outfits.
Author: He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) Author the very next line: It was...Voldemort! Truly one of the greatest writers of our generation.
Yee McGee Getting out of the flying car was just epic. I paused it to laugh for like 15 minutes before continuing. This is amazing! The combinaison of the crazy story and writing with the perfect animation and with voice actor extra-ordinaire Sorrow TV made this the best thing I've watched in a very long time! Cheers!
Came back to this masterpiece and CZcams just bombarded me with a bunch of viewer discretion is advised and warning me about self harm in this video, it’s so fucking funny
The two best parts about these is when the guys have to stifle their laughter while reading the lines, and also when the writer has to defend themselves from the people on the forum lmao
wow that's a bit like putting out a fire with napalm and the fact that both Napalm and water are similar as they are liquid Napalm being more of a gel-like solution but you know they're roughly the same
the exact opposite for nearly every american. But poor "enoby", she cannot share her supposed beauty with any of us. A true crying shame that we will never be "cursed" with being attractive. I need to have a talk with the person that wrote this fanfiction, seriously.
Riley Snow Don’t you dare flame the author of the grea-, greates-, greatest fanfic of the century. You’re not allowed to say anything negative to the man or woman whom wrote this masterpie- I can’t do it.
"I may be a Hogwarts student, but I am also a Satanist!" - I had to go back several times to understand what Lupin was masticating. I laughed at that Hagrid reveal every time... and then when I realized what Lupin was masticating to (not on), I laughed harder. 10/10.
Love how at 30:37, Draco can be seen in the movie screenshot they used for the background, as if he hadn't "died" and was just watching these two the whole time.
Ok so I have an idea. Perhaps Albus didn’t know about Draco’s vampirism since it is never mentioned again in the “book”, so he would see Draco lying on the floor slit wrists, not a heartbeat nor a breath, so he would only assume that he was dead and bury him. Now Draco, in a state of depression, falls into an additional catatonic state due to the shock of losing so much blood. This in turn leaves ample opportunity for Voldemort to kidnap him and hold him as a prisoner. Because Ebony and Harry know of his vampirism but very stupid, they know he is very much alive but lost somewhere, but don’t make the connection that Dumbledore doesn’t have a clue about Draco’s vampiric immortality, so they don’t tell him until they realize he’s been kidnap. Thank you for listening to my TED talk.
Obviously you can't understand her great writing. Her goal was to introduce some elements of foreshadowing to the text. She lets the reader know that vampires can only die a certain way to hint that the death story is simply a bad lie and to set up the rescue plot.
@@paige7501 i don't know, have you read the harry potter mary sue comic series? ( with the house sparkly poo?) the difference of course is that that comic makes it obvious that is a parody, and this...the bad grammar, the answers to the reviews...i am not sure i'ts a joke...
“What was he wearing ma’am?” “a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots-“ “Ma’am I think we get the point-“ “They were wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.”
He was also adpoted and his real parents were vampire unicorns and the other was also a witch but they committed suicide. He still has nightmares due to this day and his real last name isn't Smith, It is wesenchafewarenwholgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvonangereifenduchihrraubgiriigfeindewelchevorralternzwolftausendjahreorandieerscheinenbanderersteerdeemmeshedrraumschiffgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwischensternartigraumaufde rsuchenachdiesternwelshegehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichund
I love the times where in the middle of fanfics there would be author’s notes where the author would randomly give updates about their life, thank the readers for the support and give reasons why they didn’t post a chapter this time😂
Did we ever learn who wrote this? For those who left positive reviews on the original story -we thank you for your sacrifices; you had amazing foresight
Short answer: no, and we probably never will Long answer: ohhh boi this is a rabbit hole and a half and the reason we will never know is because so many people have lied about being the author, including someone who was trying to get a book deal out of it and someone who made hundreds of sockpuppets and wrote bible fanfic. I'm not joking, and it only gets weirder.
The never ending quest to find our who wrote my immortal is long and complicated. We don't know. A lot of people have claimed to write it and been disproven, multiple people with verifiable connections to the original fanfic (were liked authors or mentioned in the credits) have different stories about the author but all won't out them.
I don't understand how her 'author's notes' keep getting worse as the story continues; to the point that they become almost illegible. It's like she had some crazy rapid-onset Alzheimer's, or a series of strokes as she wrote this masterpiece. Fangz to Raven for helping her though.
@@sn1pertoaster It's not just a valid theory. Raven only edits the first 15 chapters, afterwards the entire thing is written in her 'authors notes' style.
Depression and self harm back then was considered "kewl" and "badass". ...actually, no, even today, there are still attention seekers who do it for clout and drama and trivializing people who actually have depression and tendencies to hurt themselves
@@thomaspatnode7053 oh don't worry..... it gets so much worse... but if you survive you emerge a literal god that can never be destroyed by shitty fanfic ever again
I come back to this series every now and then, it has become a bit of a tradition for me to sit through them, it genuinely feels tragic that we never got to see more
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MOTHERFUCKERS!?" asked Dumbledore Calmly.
he had a headache so it all makes sense
HARRY WHO PUT YOUR NAME INTO THE GOBLET OF FIRE
Like...so odd
i can't breathe omfggshshsbsuebs
Why did Dumbledore wear a "make America great again" hat tho?
"Only crosses can kill vampires"
*wears cross earrings*
Istapriesty yeah... That's why this doesn't make sense...
Forrest Brennan just my favorite part, made me laugh
What about any of this makes sense..
"c-r-o-s-s (there's NO WAY I'm writing that!)"
Because she's suicidal GET IT
I love how Dumbledore's headaches is probably the most consistent plot point in the entire story after the clothes
Why don't CZcamsr apologies ever use that reason? I know I'd forgive them. 🤷
Domblydor
He shouted angrily what the fuck are you mother fuckers doing
That would explain why he was always yelling in goblet of fire movie
Dumblydore*
Apparently, Amy Lee of Evanescence read this fanfic after her sister introduced it to her, and it left her in tears laughing
tears of blood of course, because she is a vampire.
I didn't know Amy Lee was a flaming prep poser wannabe
Lol as an Amy Lee fan, this brings me joy lol
@@insanelittlesilk didn't her sister die in like the 90s? pretty sure this fan fic was released in like 2001-2002
@@TheYutubesteve Did she have more than one sister?
This fanfiction has it's own Wikipedia page. Let that sink in.
:'D *Wheezing*
This fanfic has it's own Wiki.
Dammit what does the sink what now
@@fai8980 I applaud you sir
@@fai8980 Probably a hot meal and some shelter in your bathroom :c if it gives Virgin birth to another sink, then you should make a religion out of it.
He had no nose basically like Voldemort in the movie.
_It was Voldemort!_
Truly a twist to rival Shyamalan.
"what a twist!"
Thats exactly what i was thinking, fucking gold
Plot twist! This is a M. Night Shyamalan script that just never used.
Am I reading a fanfic or a steven king novel holy shit
Kubrick wishes he would be this good
Imagine if this fanfiction is the only evidence of human life.
*good riddance,* the aliens would say, piloting their UFO away from earth
@@the_openers_of_eyes8 who knows maybe aliens have different tastes and find these as a masterpiece what a terrifying thought.
Imagine if someone came up with a unique comment instead of one they saw somewhere else
@@Liquid_Mike yeah imagine.
@@Liquid_Mike imagine if you will a hippopotamus turning tricks at the corner of space and time, she beckons you down a poorly lit alley known as, the Twilight Zone.
every time I describe a character's outfit in my writing, I can't help but fear that I sound like fucking Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way. This fic has ruined me.
Me writing: "She wore a rumpled black tee and sweatpants, and her bleary eyes peeked through messy red hair..." (Spring in My Step intensifies) GOD DAMMIT
@@amberhernandez Thank you for telling me what the song is. I've been scrolling through the comments and every time it came on, I would zip back to the top to see what she was wearing now.
Usagichan P. What do you write?
Looked back on what I wrote years ago: "I’m wearing a custom-made, georgette, a-line evening dress, chrysanthemums printed in the illusion sleeves where they look connected to one another. The dress is colored in red and going down, orange blends with falling autumn are printed at the sides of the dress."
🙃🙃🙃🙃
This video opened my eyes. I just realize how I write my fanfiction back in the day lol.
i shiver every time I read the chilling voldemort quote "I hath telekinesis".
I died right right at "Voldemort gave me a gun."
Hey Hillary duff is hawt
Especially since he really meant telepathy.
Had a stroke on Then... He started coming!
can I haz telekinesis?
*turns down volume so parents don't hear sin*
*turns up volume and everyone in the immediate vicinity becomes the Addams family*
Pro strat: turn on hardcore porn to mask the embarrassing writing of this fanfic.
*turns off phone so parents don’t see sin*
god always hears your sin
Werevixen
I tried this. I don’t think anyone would’ve given a fuck if it hadn’t been 2 in the morning. I am currently banished from my house. On the bright side though, I haven’t been thrown into a insane asylum or been apprehended by the police for listening to satan’s preachings. You my brudda, have saved me from getting the Electric Chair.
Author: *describes everything Enoby wears in excrutiating detail*
Also Author: *Calls Peter Pettigrew as "The fat guy who killed Cedric"*
That’s all the description Peter deserves 😂
Obi wan Enoby
@@SkoomaGodDovahkiin666 Oh god, don't give her the high ground.
I love how her pentagram is just a Star of David 🤣
OG Enoby
"Voldemort gave me a gun" was so unexpected and still totally acceptable in this narration, it killed me
I think I found next title for Rowling's new book, Harry Potter and the Second Amendment.
Surprised there wasn't a joke about Voldemort being an American exchange student or something
@@tykamen5588 Harry Potter and The Full Metal Jacket
@@amadeusagripino6862 and now I'm imaginating Sergeant Hartman yelling at Harry and his friends
@@amadeusagripino6862 Harry Potter and the Glock of Fire
"Hi my name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way"
OH BOY AM I IN FOR A RIDE.
Darkness dementia makes me think of old people with Alzheimer's sundowning.
Eric Chandler my MCR obsessed ass is fucking YODELING
@@celebrimborposting9251 Dank'ness
When a story starts off like a bad text message...
*dementia is right*
Kids in the future won't acknowledge the amount of sweat and tears that went into editing this
Unicorn Workhorse
Or the blood from all the wrists slit
@@GigaChadh976 riztz*
Mostly tears.
@@m3divh *tears of blood
@@AlexanderTheGrey and shits
I'm so glad this got its Netflix adaptation!
Not sure why they changed the name to Wednesday though...
Just watched Wednesday, no wonder it's literally My Immortal the series
Underrated comment
And Netflix has shown without a doubt, it accels at adapting cringe fanfics from the 2000's
I stan this comment, I stan this user, I stan everything about this user.
Imagine getting a new puppy, and then one day you put on your shoe and hear a loud wet squelch. You take off your shoe to reveal puppy shit. Your dog has taken a shit in both of your shoes. You feel disgusted as if you're going to puke. You grab another pair of shoes from your closet, but when you put on the left shoe, you hear an even louder, even wetter squelch. Your new puppy has taken a shit in every pair of shoes in your closet, shit on every article of clothing, every accessory that you own. All of them are irreparably destroyed. Now, fast forward to the release of Wednesday, you hope for a good show, but upon finishing the show, you stare hollow-eyed at your TV screen, reminded of the same hopeless, depressed feeling as the day your new best friend destroyed your wardrobe. A wardrobe full of shit is an accurate representation of that divine punishment that calls itself a show, after all.
I'll never recover from "Voldemort wasn't there, the fat guy who killed Cedric was". I'm finished
😂😂😂😂😂😂
She skims over the story so quickly until she describes what she's wearing.
Yeahhhh... really makes you think.
i love it and then they play the duty free vlogger music in the background, and i'm still crying with laughter, i can't even see rn 😂 😂
Very American Psycho.
fuk of u prep
kodama???
Hogwarts' closed due to AIDS
THANKS DOLAN DRUMPF!!1!
Update: Hogwarts closed due to stingraids.
Thank you Kanye, very cool!
Good job brothers
andrufb schools closed
"Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos." Bitch, they're both wearing CONTACTS.
she forgot the moment she wrote it, thats why its just genius story telling
@@jenkag4343 no wonder her name was Ebony Darkness "Dementia" Raven Way lmao
Edit: im looking for copper but i found gold in these vids and comments
I mean, you've got to admire the sheer audacity of turning Hogwarts into a hotbed of goth drama.
A wizarding school in an English castle isn't that far from being "gothic" already to be fair.
*wakes up*
*gets out of bed*
*prepares breakfast*
*gets ready for the day*
*slits wrist*
Perfect
Minifridge. This made me laugh more then it should
Minifridge
Standard morning routine.
Wake up
Fall out of bed
Drag a knife
Across my wrists
for some reason i tried to read like THE song
I lost all of my college English lessons in 30 minutes.
Can I do this story for a book report?
@Anne TheReader He/She would probably be the worst at teaching but the also the best because she accepts true art like my immortal
As long as you didn't lose your "virility"
Well I'm starting to gain mine.
What the hell is with the multiple narrators each speaking in the first person?
Do some people actually think this is a writing style?
"Voldemort gave me a gun" is probably the funniest line I've heard.
I feel like it'd be applicable to many jokes, too.
"Where'd you get that gun, Parry Hotter?"
"Voldemort."
"What?"
"Voldemort gave me a gun."
"Voldemort is dead, Parry."
The wardrobe descriptions in this fanfic happen more often than the ones in the American Psycho novel. That's fucking impressive.
Imagine having a narrator that is LESS reliable than Patrick fucking Bateman
I was literally thinking about this shit
I must've forgotten the part in the books where Voldemort was giving away AK47's
Yes
It's in chapter 12 of the Deathly Hallows after the part where Harry and Ron masticate to pictures of Hermiome
He’s like Oprah with them AK’s.
Nah fam he gave away m9s in like my own spin off to the spin off called My imMROTAl since he learned that they are easier to conceal see? character development!
Voldemort and the Proletariat Uprising of the DRC.
“I may be a Hogwarts student...” Hagrid paused angrily. “... But I am also a satanist!”
Bruh
"You're an anti-christ harry."
@@SaintPanzerker "I'm a what?" Harry asked as he started to cry tears of blood.
@@jidiaz96 he ran into his broom closet and felt kind of depressed so he slit his wrists to pass the time and flew off on his broom
@@sirbobby7785 Hagrid got on his flying motorcycle and began to chase after Harry while listening to My Chemical Romance. A group of preps were staring at him, but he raised his middle finger at them.
@@jidiaz96 he caught up to harrry and took him to the farbadon farest and they did it ?!?!?! Hairgrod had alwas had a crush on vampir .
The funniest part about this whole thing is that Draco would absolutely hate Ebony.
He’s head boy of Slytherin, teacher’s pet, elitist and hates people who don’t fit into high wizard society. 😂
It's pronounced Enoby you fning prep!
Love how Draco just got back from being tortured and Ebony's here like "I'm just too perfect, why me? D,:" 💀
She defends the "mary-sue" nature of the character, and then proceeds to have her one-shot the bbeg, get caught in a love quadrangle, and literally exclaim "oh no. why am i so good at everything". This is amazing.
And the fact that the first thing Draco did is to start stripping down in order to have sex with her
"Her name is enoby not mary su" incredible, what true artistry
She can't even say her own characters name!
Obi-Wan Enoby
@@MrAndrewrock lol
General Enoby!
@ebony barton "Hello there", she said depressingly.
The eternal t-pose speaks to me on a primal level
veryscaryreaper ayyy I’m like 666!
My immortpose
veryscaryreaper I’m glad I’m not the only one
i'm gonna die
i need air
omfggggg shwhwhahahahahaha
What like barking or caveman speak? Or do you mean it was a Farcry level?
"she's not a mary sue", meanwhile every main male character falls in lover with her
shdup u prep she nt mry su kuz she satanit and it majik spel.
HER NAME IS ENOBY
But she has a religion different to mainstream religions so she has character flaws
@@borger298is satanism even a religion? Aint it a Cult?
@@victorlolxd7347no, satanism is an atheistic religion that doesn't worship a literal Satan but rather uses Satan and satanic imagery as a form of rebellion against the corruption of organized religions. With the founder Anton Lavey often criticizing the hypocrisy and overall immoral issues caused by religion, especially Evangelicals and Catholics at the time. The idea of satanism being a cult was an idea only brought up by the Catholic church in the 80s during the satanic panic and perpetuated by the media. Though there are literal devil worshipers in existence, but most of them either dub themselves as some type of pagan or a luciferian, not satanists. Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
The band My Chemical romance was founded in 2001 and harry potter takes place in the 1990's. Wonderful continuity
90'S
A kid wrote it lol
The child who wrote it admitted that she never read the books, and only saw the first 4 movies. The only reason this is connected to Harry Potter at all is because her friend had also written HP fanfiction.
@@sagecolvard9644 are you defending this. And the time period is the same in the movies
@@zackdole6474 Am I defending a child writing shitty fanfiction? Yes. Children's creativity is always cringe, but it should be nurtured anyway.
I just love the fact that Ebony is always T-posing
Carlos Valdez asserting dominance
A stock image of A lady that you can dress up in whatever the author takes 5 hours to describe to us
to assert her dominance
Its eNoBy
@@DussyBestroyer69 yes, it's NOT Mary Sue!!
I love how the story is overly descriptive for what Ebony is wearing but everything else is hyper simplistic
It reads like American Psycho
@@chadthundercock7897Not to mention that the casual drug use, "scray" violence, crossovers, and the nonchalant bisexuality of the characters is really reminiscent of Easton Ellis's work. It's like a gothic version of Less Than Zero.
Bro stop dont make fun of this story you prep dont make me allah kedavra you
I wish I could combine that talent with my writing or when playing D&D. I am incapable of even visualizing character's clothing, let alone describe them. I'm not great at the rest either but passable enough. I can visualize and describe a lovecraftian creature in reasonable details, but the hero facing it is just some guy in a suit (who may or may not be wearing a hat).
Josh tasty hagrid ps1
It took me _literally years_ to realise that when she said "kind of like a pentagram between Joel Madden and Gerard Way" it was a play on "a cross between"
Because pentagrams are like her equivalent of crosses
“She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on.”
This really is living up to the hype
Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists.
Sounds like the typical su watcher
Ya know as people do
DON'T CUT YOURSELF ON ALL THAT EDGE KIDO
ToxicMachine1 heyyyyyy
I really liked the way he says “slit my wrists” in this story
"Voldemort gave me a gun."
A *_GUN_*
Honestly I lost it a that moment during my first read.
Guns are better than Harry Potter's killing curse anyway.
@@haroldbalzac6336 *fires gun* "Hey, look, I killed Voldemort. It only took me like, what? Two seconds? Three, tops."
*"It's like a wand that can only cast the killing spell at a higher rate of fire."*
~Voldemort probably
Abra kadbra is just a gun but you need to be good at shotting to use it
Voldemort speaking in old English and “clacking towards” Enoby in his “high heels” is amazing
“And then he put his thingy into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.”
This is my favorite line in anything ever. It cracks me up every time I hear it, and I have to rewind to hear it multiple times
Shes just so cool and edgy that she doenst even have to describe sex, you already know it was great and well written
Bro really put his dingaling in her fairy cave smh smh smh fr fr fr
I love that a vampire who constantly drinks blood is worried about getting AIDS from intercourse...
To be fair you can’t get HIV from orally ingesting blood unless you had open wounds in your mouth or stomach STD fax
@@girlproblemsbulletsolution1268 XD thanks, didn't know that. Still... not looking to do it any time soon.
I love how people are still watching this
@@kizilm5315 I mean it's a masterpiece
@Not-IcyCrusader Take Two true
This is the best piece of fanfiction ever written.
Ebony is the definition of chaotic neutral and could probably be reworked into a really fun character.
I thought she was chaotic evil.
But ignoring that I think you do have a point that she could be made a fun character if someone who isn't a mentally disturbed pre teen wrote this.
We found the author, Nick! LOL
@@AKUJIVALDO Where!? I must exorcise her!
@@anmalaag1225 Heh! Nice.
I think that “Crookshanks” is probably my favorite misspelling of Crucio Ive ever heard in my life. I feel like instead of Torturing the target it should just make them break it down, but just in the most awkward was possible.
OH MY GOD I DIDNT GET THAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CRUCIO THANK YOU AHAHAHAHAHAHA
cant die by slitting wrists
dies by slitting wrists
Well, you kind of can. However, it is quite difficult.
(pssst... watch the video for what I'm referring to)
18:55
it's canon in the Enoby storyline that Draco is also a vampire
Draco didn't actually die though.
do you know something we don't
is it canon though
>says he can't die from self harming because he's a vampire
>dies anyway
Filthy poser
Filthy prep
Darn goffic prep posers
Yeah I’m so confused he got shod died but can’t die cause the only thing that can kill him is a “C-R-O-S-S” literally none of that made sense to me just typing it
3 watches later and I finally understand what it means at 18:00. "He was wearing messy eyeliner like a pentagram between Joel Madden and Gerard Way."
A pentagram. Like a cross. A cross between JM and GW. Facepalm moment.
Omg I never knew that 🤣🤣🤣😭😭
You're a genius for this btw. I saw this comment months ago and I appreciate your insight frequently
What
Oh my GOD that makes too much sense.
A pentagram is a 5-pointed star.
It's viewing 6 or7. This has officially become the funniest thing in the world to me. Every misspelling is a delight. Every authors note is sweet oblivious honey to my ears. This is truly a magical experience.
AND this is a shortend version
This is not a fanfiction, this is a SCP
Special Containment Procedures: Paper copies can only be handled by authorized personnel who are completely blind.
Scp is also just crappy fanfiction like this. Just a bunch of kids on the internet, which have no idea how to write a suspenseful horror story.
infohazard
@@theblackbaron4119 No The bad shit usually gets deleted there are many that are mediocre, however there are many great stories in the SCP arsenal. Plus SCP is not limited to horror, that was 10 years ago, now you can find all kinds of fiction there, Character Driven Drama, Comedy, Horror or just more discriptive peices that ride off of natural human curiosity and intice the reader with mystery and Creative ideas.
@@theblackbaron4119 It gets more and more random when you hit 4000+...But the original 200 is quite disturbing.
"He put his thingie into my you-know-what and did it for the first time"
Glorious
Better than 50 shades of gray
There's a bit where she goes "He put his throbbing you know what in my tool sexily."
That's exactly how it happened to me!
This author is fantastic, it's just like if Gilesbie was in my head!
"Then he put his boy's thingie in mine and we had sex.........See?! Is THAT stupid?!"
there were 666 likes when i came here to this comment and you know what? i'm letting it be because that is beautiful.
This feels like an AI-generated story if the AI writing it was going through an edgelord phase. Utterly incredible.
Lmaooo CZcams gave me 2 warnings before watching this
Same thing here or a warning and a “are you sure” but still
I love how the entire story comes to a screeching halt whenever she changes outfits
Bobo What doesn’t your life pause like Skyrim when you put a coat on?
@@tedthekazooman9455 I wish.
to summaries Episodes in fiction
Hogwarts Psycho
The best part is when she describes what she's wearing but is also apparently still naked and covers up with a towel.
The absolute funniest thing about this entire shit show is the sentence "Voldemort gave me a gun."
I absolutely lost it at that
Dumbledore shouting "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MOTHERFLUFFERS?!" is pretty priceless. Haha.
Alex Peace the best is the gothic version of a 50 cent song
The part where she pulls a gun to shoot Snap and Loopin a gazillion times and they still live fucking killed me
I wouldn't be surprised if the author was the type to make goth outfit boards on pinterest and this is just her masticating to her own fashion choices.
My favorite part is when dumbedore grinds down the staircase on his skateboard. His headache is the only consistent plot point right next to her clothes. I also greatly appreciate all the work you out into the outfits.
“So, umm.. What kind of books do you like?”
“It’s.. complicated..”
@@user-mn5jf3ud1p can you call this shit a fanfic though it's more like a fucking shit pile
@@user-mn5jf3ud1p df do you mean bad ???
@@user-mn5jf3ud1p indeed it does, as poetically as you put it
@@imRehnzy Did you write it?
@@imRehnzy it is definitely you.
The US government should look into using this as a method of torture.
It is rather unusual
A new challenge for MrBeast
Noriega woulda been outta there by the end of part 1.
Vincent
last to stop reading My Immortal wins $100000
I'm pretty sure that would constitute a war crime.
Author: He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie)
Author the very next line: It was...Voldemort!
Truly one of the greatest writers of our generation.
This is the kind of shit the Library of Alexandria lost and we think it's a tragedy.
Somehow the T-pose makes everything twice as funny
Felix Seriously!
Felix T-pose is always the greatest enhancement to anything and everything.
“I went outside” killed me
But that asserts dominance
Yee McGee Getting out of the flying car was just epic. I paused it to laugh for like 15 minutes before continuing. This is amazing! The combinaison of the crazy story and writing with the perfect animation and with voice actor extra-ordinaire Sorrow TV made this the best thing I've watched in a very long time!
Cheers!
the training for fbi agents is to watch this without dying
At least my agent can do that
My FBI agent, frank rn: for the love of fucking god stop.
Like of laughter, or of shame?
@@VertSecretStash yes
Well I guess I can be an FBI agent. *Im watching you*
Came back to this masterpiece and CZcams just bombarded me with a bunch of viewer discretion is advised and warning me about self harm in this video, it’s so fucking funny
Because you would want to kill yourself a quarter of the way of watching
Yeah I kept getting warnings about self harm or suicide everytime I watch this video lol
It's a bitch filter, since there are actually some humans that would get triggered by this.
The two best parts about these is when the guys have to stifle their laughter while reading the lines, and also when the writer has to defend themselves from the people on the forum lmao
I love how slowly throughout the video the animation gets worse and worse as if Internet Historian wasn’t being payed enough for this shit.
Paid*
Storm Drain ztop flail you prep.
I men ztop not top.
Lukey Firsty So.. is he Brad 1 or Brad 2?
Brad 1.5: The Bad Brad
He's losing it.
To quote Spy Kids 2:
“Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he’s created?”
Nah
Yah
Yes
Of course
Underated comment right here.
The casual hate on Hillary Duff was everything
It's been 4 years now and the depiction of them "frenching" Is still the funniest shit I've ever seen.
Goth Girl: "How did you read my mind?"
Voldemort: "Telekinesis"
Bunny Rabbit I... No... That’s not how it works!
@@lexthemystic3541 you could put that after any sentence in the entire thing and it would still fit
@@TheNzFox Too true!
wow that's a bit like putting out a fire with napalm and the fact that both Napalm and water are similar as they are liquid Napalm being more of a gel-like solution but you know they're roughly the same
I HATH TELEKINESIS
“Why can’t I just be ugly?” Everyone is in love with me!”
*First world problems intensify*
the exact opposite for nearly every american.
But poor "enoby", she cannot share her supposed beauty with any of us.
A true crying shame that we will never be "cursed" with being attractive.
I need to have a talk with the person that wrote this fanfiction, seriously.
Riley Snow
Don’t you dare flame the author of the grea-, greates-, greatest fanfic of the century. You’re not allowed to say anything negative to the man or woman whom wrote this masterpie-
I can’t do it.
@@Ethan-mp7wr I must be a "prepz", then.
How dare I insult the true greatnes- HEUGH. *COUGH*
NO! I WONT SAY IT!
sHe'S NoT a MaRy Sue!!1!!1!
Shez into sayten stuf, she's no marie soow.
I hope the writer is now serious and published. I hope she's read the books and finds this as funny as everyone else.
Christ she would probably go on a drinking binge trying to forget.
Jesus, I would die of cringe if I realized my self insert fan fiction would be a cult classic in internet.
For once im glad to be so self critical, at least nothing embarassing had been released and immortalized on the internet. @@Ironbattlemace
"I may be a Hogwarts student, but I am also a Satanist!" - I had to go back several times to understand what Lupin was masticating. I laughed at that Hagrid reveal every time... and then when I realized what Lupin was masticating to (not on), I laughed harder. 10/10.
has anyone else mentioned that Hot Topic doesn't actually exist in England, because it doesn't
It doesnt?
Well arent you guys lucky.
Really feels good living here knowing I won't see any local Ebony's coming my way
Officially England is superior to the US in every way
@@antichrist8543 Ebony's name is Enoby, oKaY?
@@lucasmatiasdelaguilamacdon7798 Ok boomer
"I won't update unless I get gud revows!"
Still updates.
After chapter 6, it became all about them god reviuws. They must be really something, because she wanted TIN more after that.
She got dem gud revows
IS THIS STILL GOING?????
@@Ramsey276one
No
T.G W.H.M.V thank God...
“Eboby” is the best mispelling I’ve ever seen in my life
Love how at 30:37, Draco can be seen in the movie screenshot they used for the background, as if he hadn't "died" and was just watching these two the whole time.
Author: Draco cutting his wrists doesn’t hurt him cause he a vampire
Author 2 sentences later: Draco died from cutting his wrists
Still one of the funniest shit I've read
Maybe "doesn't hurt" means "doesn't cause pain" in this situation. I think I've already thought about it more than the author.
and then for some reason he was alive again lol
Ok so I have an idea. Perhaps Albus didn’t know about Draco’s vampirism since it is never mentioned again in the “book”, so he would see Draco lying on the floor slit wrists, not a heartbeat nor a breath, so he would only assume that he was dead and bury him. Now Draco, in a state of depression, falls into an additional catatonic state due to the shock of losing so much blood. This in turn leaves ample opportunity for Voldemort to kidnap him and hold him as a prisoner. Because Ebony and Harry know of his vampirism but very stupid, they know he is very much alive but lost somewhere, but don’t make the connection that Dumbledore doesn’t have a clue about Draco’s vampiric immortality, so they don’t tell him until they realize he’s been kidnap. Thank you for listening to my TED talk.
Obviously you can't understand her great writing. Her goal was to introduce some elements of foreshadowing to the text. She lets the reader know that vampires can only die a certain way to hint that the death story is simply a bad lie and to set up the rescue plot.
"Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful? I'm good at too many things!"
This HAS to be fake
*bruh quit flamming!*
Some say it’s a troll, some say it’s real, many believe we will never know.
The only reason I don't think it's fake is because I don't think someone would be this committed to a joke
this has to be parody.
@@paige7501 i don't know, have you read the harry potter mary sue comic series? ( with the house sparkly poo?) the difference of course is that that comic makes it obvious that is a parody, and this...the bad grammar, the answers to the reviews...i am not sure i'ts a joke...
Can we all just collectively agree that the opening monologue is one of the most iconic in fan fiction literature history?
I've ignored this one for years, fearing the cringe would be too much for me to bear. It did not disappoint, what a masterpiece.
Can you describe the man who attacked you?
"He had red eyes that he had red contacts in with a white face which he had white makeup on"
Alex G
I'm sorry ma'am but there's too many people that fit that description. Could you be more specific?
“What was he wearing ma’am?”
“a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots-“
“Ma’am I think we get the point-“
“They were wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.”
Redundant much redundant
He was also adpoted and his real parents were vampire unicorns and the other was also a witch but they committed suicide. He still has nightmares due to this day and his real last name isn't Smith, It is wesenchafewarenwholgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvonangereifenduchihrraubgiriigfeindewelchevorralternzwolftausendjahreorandieerscheinenbanderersteerdeemmeshedrraumschiffgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwischensternartigraumaufde rsuchenachdiesternwelshegehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichund
@@Michini12875 the fact that when you switched to German I just kept reading and understood it and didn't even question it seriously says a lot...
The people who left those positive reviews are the true heroes. Without them, we would never have gotten this work of modern art.
It’s ugly, that’s what makes it a modern art masterpiece
*reviow
So true
They lied for a good cause
@@07_danishwistara29 DID YOUR PARENTS HAVE ANY CHILDREN THAT LIVED
This is a bigger part of my childhood and humour than I care to admit.
I am so happy that this gets preserved like this for the future
just coming back for my yearly listen, continue on your way
Omg same! 😂😂
In all honesty. This makes sooooo much more sense when put to "animation."
Matthew H
Having a visual for this insanity certainly helps.
888 likes
Yeah I’m not touching that
f'ng 911 likes. good job, ma boi.
🖒
Because she's shit at writing so you can't tell what's going on without visual aids
@@thatguynoonelikes4865 this is visual aids
"While I went to put on Linkin Park at full volume"
*Royalty free funk music starts playing*
sounds just right considering their last album
By KevinMcloud
What was the song called?
@@hollywoodfanclub1 I'm still trying to find the music after she cuts her wrists at 3:12 almost sounds like Daft Punk
John F. The music is “Who Likes To Party” by Kevin MacLeod
I love the times where in the middle of fanfics there would be author’s notes where the author would randomly give updates about their life, thank the readers for the support and give reasons why they didn’t post a chapter this time😂
“I’m too good at everything!”
You have done literally nothing!
Fun fact, JK Rowling wrote this anonymously so it's actually canon
Reck yesssss
JK Raven actually
i agree
it would be canon if it was on her twitter
Nah can’t be canon, she hasn’t even come out on twitter to say any of the characters are gay yet.
It can not be that bad.
""Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way"
*Oh no.*
My thoughts exactly
It's amazing don't know what you're talking about
post awareness stage 6
Have to admit, Dementia is such a cool word if you don't consider what it actually means
@@mynewaccount2604 where do you think _dementors_ come from?
Did we ever learn who wrote this?
For those who left positive reviews on the original story -we thank you for your sacrifices; you had amazing foresight
Short answer: no, and we probably never will
Long answer: ohhh boi this is a rabbit hole and a half and the reason we will never know is because so many people have lied about being the author, including someone who was trying to get a book deal out of it and someone who made hundreds of sockpuppets and wrote bible fanfic. I'm not joking, and it only gets weirder.
@@spookedblue The person ho wrote this knows it and holy fuck, they must carry a strong burden and gift at the same time
The never ending quest to find our who wrote my immortal is long and complicated. We don't know. A lot of people have claimed to write it and been disproven, multiple people with verifiable connections to the original fanfic (were liked authors or mentioned in the credits) have different stories about the author but all won't out them.
Cormac McCarthy RIP
@@spookedblue >bible fanfic
what
Every 8 to 10 months I revisit this entire epic experience! 🙏🏽
same 😭🤣
"I felt bad for him even though i was a sadist so i stopped".
10/10.
Mercy 100
1000/1000
666/666
6969/6969
I don't understand how her 'author's notes' keep getting worse as the story continues; to the point that they become almost illegible. It's like she had some crazy rapid-onset Alzheimer's, or a series of strokes as she wrote this masterpiece. Fangz to Raven for helping her though.
@@Ferraday Holy shit. I'd need a Goffik Rosetta Stone or something, to translate that whole thing.
Philosophical Thots Raven probably wasn’t much better off than she was tbh
@@Ferraday thats actually a valid theory
Such a Masterpiece shall not‘ve been written by mortals, she paid for this with her soul and sanity
@@sn1pertoaster It's not just a valid theory. Raven only edits the first 15 chapters, afterwards the entire thing is written in her 'authors notes' style.
omg when Harry said "omfg noooo! my scaaar hurrrts!" I can't 🤣😭
I love how casually this story treats depression and self harm
Depression and self harm back then was considered "kewl" and "badass".
...actually, no, even today, there are still attention seekers who do it for clout and drama and trivializing people who actually have depression and tendencies to hurt themselves
My Immortal deserves submission into the US Library of Congress for its cultural and aesthetic significance. Not even kidding.
Rin Wesley Absolutely
An example of everything wrong with the human conscious when it comes to goths, seriously, screw this fic.
I approve of this. Let's get this shit immortalized.
fatalrob0t
I’m on board we need a movie 🍿
I have no words
“I’m a brave boy!”
“My name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven way”
“I’m not a brave enough boy for this”
Literally this whole fanfic can be summed up with Jontron's face seeing the final boss of N.A.R.Q
This whole fanfiction would be summed in "What!? What the fuck!?"
I made it all the way to "it was draco" nnnnno idea what comes next but I'm sure it can't be good
@@thomaspatnode7053 oh don't worry..... it gets so much worse... but if you survive you emerge a literal god that can never be destroyed by shitty fanfic ever again
@@Sonichero151 What if the author was just a troll?
I come back to this series every now and then, it has become a bit of a tradition for me to sit through them, it genuinely feels tragic that we never got to see more
"Children! What do you think you're doing" - dumbledore asked baffled but camly
"I put on my pentagram necklace" *shows a Star of David*
KrisIsEgg
What’s the difference?
+The Crimson fucker Its even pointier.
I need no channel youtube! THERE.... ARE.... FIVE.... POINTS!
The Cinema Cowboy He said the STAR has six not the pentagram
@@ineednochannelyoutube5384 but he only wants the queen ass