The Joys of Not Needing People
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- čas přidán 2. 06. 2024
- The experience of loneliness is prevalent in individualistic societies. We can’t deny that loneliness is problematic. However, without reducing the severity of this issue, we might also have been underestimating the advantages of ‘not needing people.’
Video: The Joys of Not Needing People
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#solitude #loner #taoism
00:00 - Intro
02:49 - Independence & freedom
06:02 - Less drama, more tranquility
09:41 - Authenticity & personal fulfillment
I find that every time I'm feeling lonely, I try to connect with people again, and every time, they remind me of why I was alone to begin with.
Can really relate to this
Exactly 😂
Edit: I have now learned that it depends who you spend time with and how.
Omg I’m a 23 years old guy from Sydney Australia and I feel the exact same way
Human nature is to eat itself.
Yes! “I don’t hate people, I just feel better when they’re not around” Bukowski
Loneliness is dangerous. It’s addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don’t wanna deal with people. All of our unhappiness comes from our inability to be alone. If you love yourself, you will enjoy your own company. You can not be lonely if you like the person you are alone with.I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude. Hell is other people.
this post is copium. no need to justify or defend either. just ego
true, i throw away all my belongings and moved to a new city totally alone. I have never had this peace my whole life, i taught it did not even exist 😅
As Jerry Seinfeld said, "People...they're the worst."
@@michaelthompson7217 No capitalization or punctuation in your post. I'd say you have the big ego because you can't even be bothered by something so easy. Either that, or you're just ret@rded.
@@michaelthompson7217 No it's not copium.
I had lots of friends at one time. It was someone's birthday every week. And you spend time with them going out or celebrating. And then it was weddings, then house warmings, then first birth child, then baptism christening communion, then children birthdays, grade 6 graduation, high school graduation, sweet 16yo 18yo 21yo, the big 40yo celebration 50yo anniversaries and retirement... its just never ending. You have very little time for yourself. Life controls you instead of you taking control of your life. You spend 4-5hrs (money, time and energy) at parties/gatherings wasting your life unproductively every week, every year. That's not defending nor justifying... its just objective reality; it's a waste of time, because its a shallow experience of just going through the motions of life, unconsciously.
When I turned 33yo, I cut off almost everyone in my life. I kept only 5 friends and my family. I'm 42yo now. And all I can say is that you can experience more out of life, when you remove most of the distractions. Its one of the best decision I've made in my life.
Negative perspective: Being alone is called Loneliness.
Positive perspective: Being alone is called Freedom.
Your comment made me feel much better! Thank you so much 😊
copium addiction
Freedom exists in partnerships as well. If people can't see it, it means they don't know how to communicate and appreciate relations. Being around people does not make one chained.
@@projectfear22 GET LOST EXTROVERT
Not going along with the crowd,just to feel apart of something, and lose yourself
Loneliness may be problematic, but toxicity from others is worse!
@@AvoidingNowtgood point
True !
Using the words problematic and toxicity is your first problem.
another girl who says "toxicity", I'm shocked!!!
@@AvoidingNowtExtremely true!
I'll be 35 years old this year. I'm a single male, I live alone. I don't do anything with any other person, ever. I work from home. I go to the store, but people most of the time just ignore me. I wake up, I work out, I work, I go do something outdoors, I eat, and I go to bed to do it again the next day. I have no one in my life. It only bothers me when I allow myself to start thinking about what other people have that I don't. Only when I compare myself to others do I feel like a loser. I'm not, by the way. I'm in shape, out of debt, own my house outright, multiple vehicles, enjoy good food, in the best health and shape of my life. I just do it all alone.
Happy for you, brother. Keep on keeping on.
What a beautiful life you have.
You're strong 💪
Same here, 39F.
when i first looked at the title i saw the joy of not needling people. sort of explains how i feel about it all!
“In solitude the mind gains strength and learns to lean upon itself.”
I followed your work and the work you follow.
Hi Reyna 👋😊
Solitude is an illusion.
Solitude to a certain extent is good to disconnect and focus on ourselves.
But Human beings are wired to be social and so we cannot really think our way to be living in solitude.
Reyna not bad. Are you in Aussie land
I hate when people link loneliness with not trusting or loving other people. I, personally, love interacting with people, but also love being alone. I like to listen to other people's perspective but also love how I keep myself happy when I'm all by myself. It's not a black and white thing. You can interact with people and be happy alone.
Yup I’m capable of both I need human interaction sometimes but I also require down time to enjoy my solitude
Same! These two things are NOT mutually exclusive. You can still trust people, best to trust the right ones, not the wrong ones.
Its a little weird to hate that lol. It's a perfectly valid reason some people seek solitude.. Nobody said its the only reason people can and do, you were never invalidated.
@@Johndoe-co3pwme too. It's healthy
I feel the same
The art of being alone is central to love. Because when we learn to be alone artfully, we no longer use other people as an escape.
Love this comment ❤
Too true. Also, some people (me) are just built that way and that’s fine. I enjoy solitude 70% of the time at least
I've been waiting a long time to hear someone talk about the benefits of solitude, not the "dangers" of loneliness. Thank you.
You can find a great deal about solitude and it's benefits in Buddhist and Hindu (particularly advaita Vedanta aka non-dualism) philosophies.
@@lousialb8962 Thanks so much. I'll definitely do some more reading on the topic.
I never thought someone will talk so positively about not needing people to survive. When I saw the video of people dying alone due to loneliness and no friends in Japan... I was little horrified, but i still love my solitude.
@@omittapir5986 true solitude is if you do not own a smartphone anymore, go out and see how detached people are from you because they live inside their screens.
Thats a truly haunting experience, because the deeper you think about it, the more you go out into public gatherings the more you realize that you are disconnected from 1000s of people by social media use.
Stop using smartphone for 1-2 months, try to reach out to people and you will see: It doesn't " click " anymore. Its like a glass wall between them using their phones and you as a " normal " person.
And unless 1000s ditch their smartphone, you really are alone and likely will not find people truly committed to you, as the attention span is down regulated by dopamine / oxytocine secretion that is higher when scrolling tik Tok, receiving likes vs looking at a human face and interacting with it.
In this sense, most people commenting here are not alone, they are connected to a virtual world and thats exactly whats numbing em.
Well said. But.. Solitude is just a little part of lives journey Not the other way around. Be thankful of the opportunity but don’t get confused. You’ll borne and die alone but live gives you opportunity to find and create good connections with others. Live is not about solitude.
When you can learn to enjoy being alone. No one can control you, manipulate you or threaten to leave you and ironically end up with loyal and strong friendships and relationships.
Nicely said 😃
Unfortunately this explains both why I am lonely and loathe myself.
A beautiful explanation! Yes!!
This is the best thing you've said
I used to think that I was antisocial or mentally/emotionally unwell because I love being alone so much. I'm single, no kids, I live alone, i work a job that requires very little interaction, and honestly I could live the rest of my life like this. It's so unbelievably peaceful and happy. I don't think a lifestyle of solitude is necessarily unhealthy, although it can be for some, for others it might be exactly what they need.
If you need advice, consider speaking with a financial advisor. Don't get me wrong, you can do it on your own, but financial advisors have a lot more knowledge and expertise in this area.
That's impressive! I could really use the expertise of this manager for my dwindling portfolio. Who’s the professional guiding you?.
Others always tell me to make friends or think there’s something wrong with me. But I’m perfectly fine
Do you love being alone solely because of the peace, or is there a running away/fear of social interaction?
God forbid if something happens or a crisis occurs and you what if people turn their back because they never interacted with you, they don't really know you. What are your views for such a situation? Solitude leads to loneliness. We are a social animal. We can't live our whole life by ourselves.
I've grown more and more introverted as the time has passed.
When I was younger, I cared about what people thought of me, until it dawned on me that I didn't even like them! A great lesson to learn when I was still in school.
So I decided to hang around the people I DID like. Let me introduce you three best friends; Me, Myself and I!
Your fourth favorite friend being an annonymuse audience online
@@Name-di3kulmao
Real
Me, Myself, I, and my dog.
@@jim-se5xc Oh, a is he a blue heeler? He's gorgeous!
I have never felt as lonely as i have felt in a crowd of people i cannot be myself with. I never feel lonely when i'm alone and love my own company
i can relate!!
True!
I am happiest and at my best when alone.
It's so liberating and peaceful.
People who fear solitude, should understand that within your body you are always alone...no one can be with you always...so become your own best friend first, before you become friends with others. 😊😊
💯😔☯️🙏
Same!
but eventually after spending so much time alone, you'll realize that u wanna hang out with someone and have a good time once in a while, can't be alone forever dude
@@iiCounted-op5jxi agree that we need to see actual humans from time to time, but you don't know how addicting solitude could be. I can live months without meeting people and doesn't feel lonely.
Me too, I love being alone and I am at my happiest then ❤
"True love is being a protector of each other's solitude" - Rainer Maria Rilke
Man can this guy write a good poem, I urge you to read the "Panther"
I live alone and value my solitude as priceless. When I’m alone I don’t realize that I’m alone but when I’m with others, they get on my nerves and annoy me. It’s like a chore having to be around people.
it cuz you bottom of roster you become doormat
@@ogueyratogeyrat7448
Interesting perspective but I disagree.
"...when I'm others, they get on my nerves and annoy me. It's like a chore having to be around people".
In fact, I've been around a few people who, when I had to be around them, it felt like having to do the most unpleasant chore...like cleaning toilets!
I use that simile because my partner used to be a cleaner in a hotel and the facilities were often so disgusting that he felt like gagging...but he got more money. His boss called it a "Toilet Allowance".
Many are afraid to be alone, even when it is the antidote to their suffering.
When alone, with no music, social media, or other distractions, we are forced to confront who we truly are. It is at those times when you can see your true self in all its glory, imperfection and self-awareness.
The strongest people are not afraid of solitude.
Wholeheartedly agree.
This comment ❤
I feel what u r saying n mostly agree,for me though going too long without music I go crazy. It's soothing and allows me to connect with the present moment. By myself I jam out n dance like a crazy person while finding serenity.
06:51 lol
wtf
I see a broken person that can never be whole again. now what, kilI myself?
I am 52 years old, single and live alone. I’ve been this way since my divorce 5 years ago and now I realize this is the best way to live. Being in total control of yourself, your life, your living area and your future (at least the parts you can control) are indescribably satisfying.
Yup☺️
I’m single 48 never married…THANK GOD! I love my space and my freedom!
Same here. I am going through divorce. Now I am enjoying my freedom. Instead of those meaningless fights. Nobody can understand better than us, but ourself.
Me too. 52 and single for 4.5 years. I am enjoying the same things and being sociable only when and with whom I want. Love having my own space. And no stress. I could be in another relationship, but we'd have to keep separate homes lol
Right on, my man! I can understand what you're sayin.
Everytime i try to reconnect with people when im lonely i always get reminded to be alone again. People are draining sometimes and i have more peace of mind in soltitude.
I was a loner since childhood. I enjoyed playing alone and never needed other kids to have fun or be happy. I played with them but only for short time and I enjoyed my time with myself. I am 32yo and I am still the same. A lot of people don't understand me, say I'm selfish and not caring, it hurts, because I truly love people, I just don't need them to feel happy.
This is how I always felt, too. Being around others mostly comes at the price of not being able to fully do what we like. It requires compromise.
Keep grounded within your self, knowing yourself on a deep level will have your trust that you are not acting out of selfishness. Once that is integrated, their own perspective on it will not bother you anymore. You know who you are, and that's all you need to know, they're also entitled to their perception based on who they are and how they would act differently, hence the misconception. You're at peace with yourself, and you're at peace with them. If they're not, that's ok.
I'm twice your age same here. Those who speak without knowing you must be kept away. Seek your higher power. Watch people's behavior. Be with kind people. Not with little minds. Peace be with you.
@@alrent2992"Those who speak without knowing you must be kept away"
Very well said. I have always lived by this.
I hate to say this, but a person who is emotionally self-sufficient is more difficult to control. They're also very authentic, which is a good trait to have. If they disagree with someone, they won't agree just to keep the peace. But they won't argue about it, either.
Those people aren't people pleasers, and some people who like to control others are apt to complain.
I need to be alone as much as I need air, water, food, sleep…A deep joy arises inside of me.
Thank you!
and who is that joy within ? PURE CONSCIOUSNESS
@@deanyanko3326 Thats it right there. I don't get lonely, because the pure consciousness allows to enjoy just being in the world along with the small things.
For me, not needing other people has gone hand-in-hand with not being able to trust anyone anymore.
Kodak the realest:
Changed my address
But karma she know where I stayed on it
But that b*tch better come correct she know that I stay on it
I ain't sleeping so forget about coming creepin' late on me
Got the 12-gauge on me
I got a .38 on me
I got the Mac 10 I used to have the baby K on me
Same here.
basically, yeah - most often it saves everybody time and trouble.
@@chiquita683Karma gives zero fcks about Kodak Black. I'll take my Karmic lessons from the Buddha.
Same as me, I will never ever trust another human being again. I only have true love for myself.
It’s a blessing to be the introverted type… people can be chaotic
It’s all good until you need help.Then what do you do?
@@tdon39Then find some help. Can't find it? Do it to the best of your ability. Fail? It is what it is.
@@tdon39ask for help 😊
“A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.” - Arthur Schopenhauer
The well where the herd drinks is poisoned. Nietszche
This is so liberating. I didn't know other people felt this way too
That is one drawback of being a loner; it's easy to fall into thinking you're the only one in the world who thinks the way you do.
For some people it can be extremely scary to learn not too depend on people. But understanding that by coming out of your comfort zone and just doing it you begin to awaken a deeper power within you. One of trust and self respect.
Very kind and guiding words, it is a holy kind of pride too be self reliant, it's integrity, discipline, and strength. These are extremely powerful characteristics. When you exercise restraint from enablers and take the long way back ON a tough journey, your supper will taste divine, and you will sleep easy and without worry. just remember share and always remain humble. I love anyone who read this. Cheers to Health and prosperity.
You get a certain nourishment, from being independent. I feel like your not worth someone else's time, if you can't be alone, your dependent. Develop the self, use solitude for all of it's exquisite freedom, and loneliness! Then? You won't waste anyone else time, you'll be worthy of having one another.
Not to*
this is nothing but spiritual word salad… a cope.
it’s actually far harder to fully trust someone and learn to depend on them. because if they fail you, you will suffer greatly. trust is a willingness to suffer.
in order to trust, you have to give up control. isolation, lone wolf, sigma male - all of it is just an attempt to justify fear. an attempt to control all outcomes by avoiding others and their role in influencing outcomes.
sure, we can search for ancient wisdom to try to justify our fear of giving and receiving love. as if because it is old prose, it’s true. but that’s all it is - a cope, and an empty melancholy life driven by the fear of facing lows in life. i usually love this channel, but all this video - a undercurrent of fear of consequences and being hurt
Most. Not some. Saying some is too kind.
It's so liberating seeing the comments and observing the amount of persons embracing the loner community. It's the place I find my best self!
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"I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude".- Henry David Thoreau
So true. I love this!
Well said , Henry
So funny! I just finished reading All about him even though I've known about him for years. Rereading Walden and his trip down the Merrimack River. Anyway, he did have connections with some really neat people like Emerson, Bronson Alcott Nathaniel Hawthorne, Ellery Channing. He even lived with the Emersons off and on throughout his life. But his main focus was a singular path. I think the most important thing is just not to feel like you have to have other people in order to be satisfied with life. He's my favorite man right now...! I'm one of those people who have decided to stay alone after my husband passed away 10 years ago. I have no desire to be with anyone in that kind of relationship again.
I've been struggling between wanting a romantic partner and enjoying singlehood. There are plenty of great experiences that can be had as a couple, but there are sacrifices to my personal life that must be made.
I was meditating on loneliness last night and found that it was the shame of being seen as a loner that was one of the most powerful emotion pressuring me towards dating right now
I so agree. I've been meditating and speaking with my therapist about it. For me, it's the need to meet outside expectations and fear of being seen like you say a "loser." But in thinking and talking about it, I know it's okay not to be in a romantic relationship. My life is full and happy as it is. The real or imaged social expectations don't matter, as long as my happiness and what makes me happy doesn't harm anyone.
how is that a "shame" -- only YOU can make it so, if you believe others. Live your own life your way, not how others dictate it
@@Sheepdog1314 if only it were that easy
I lived a huge part of my life in fear of loneliness...it ruined my marriage. I had two years of total loneliness and I found myself back to .that child who was so brave and courageous. I am proud of travelling alone with my dog. That fear made me a looser even though I was in what I thought I was in a stable relationship..30yrs. Now I know true freedom that comes with tons of pleasures.
@@Jhawk_2k Ego makes it difficult. Living a full life, filled with hobbies, pursuits and interests is way more important than being around someone all the time. Ironically, when one lives fully, they have no shortage of people that want a piece of the action.
~ After being married for 25 years, I am very much enjoying the single life. NOT the dating scene, but the solitude of it. I have no interest in dating, & don’t see that changing. I am alone, yet not lonely…👊🏽 The introvert that I am, is in full-blown mode, & I am embracing it. ♥️ The peace & serenity of it, is so satisfying.
Never married iam 36 but i need my peace i cant deal with a man bothering me
I’ve learned to embrace solitude, I love being with myself, I’m more comfortable alone. I grow and become greater within myself without others distracting me!
There’s a difference between enjoying people and depending on people. I enjoy stimulating conversations with others. But I don’t feel I need their attention. I enjoy their attention, and I hope they enjoy mine. Also, helping people can be very rewarding. So isolating yourself has its benefits, but helping people can be even more beneficial. As you may need help someday yourself
Perfect comment ! 👌
Spot on! I've always been in relationship (like couple) as long as I can remember until about 4 years ago. Now I'm 48 and I feel better than ever, mentally! not having to worry about others or having to adjust my life based on other people's behaviour, feelings, thoughts. Sometimes family members look at me like in a pity because I'm alone, but I pity them instead! :D
I find it funny that people don't recognize that we create all of our emotions and that we are the only ones who feel our emotions. This means that we can say "NO" to creating and feeling any emotion. For example, If you get angry at someone, it really is your problem as you are the one making yourself feel that emotion.
I completely agree! The same way we are all capable of producing the emotions that make us feel comfort and love, without needing other people to allow us to produce those emotions. The pharmacy of chemicals/hormones/neurotransmitters are already present in our bodies. The focus should be on training the mind and body on how to access them.
You sound like you’re very well developed in your metal. But it is unfortunately not the case with many, especially younger people. The concept of “you create your emotion” is very alienated
That’s really not how emotions work. You may feel like you chose your emotions but the truth is that you are just lucky to feel that way. We don’t actually choose our emotions moment to moment.
@@CampingforCool41 Personally, I think there's truth in both perspectives. It's difficult to have one singular "correct" view that applies to the emotional aspect of absolutely all humans (& I suppose animals, if you want to expand that way) at all times in all circumstances. There's so many different environments & upbringings & cultures, etc. that greatly influence us.
I am currently going thru a divorce I did not want. I fought as hard as I could to save the marriage and improve, without success. I have been at the darkest point of my life and seriously considering ending the suffering. Your videos on stoicism have literally saved my life and given me a new way of thinking I didn't think I would ever get to. Thank you for these
Stay strong. I’ve been where you are. I was close to the brink but stepped back. Now nearly 40 years later I’m happy , and loving my life. Stay strong.
My dear it is easy to get stuck in the moment and be overwhelmed by emotions.
Where everything seems unbearable. Just hold on for more few days and hours and the joy shall reach your heart and you find your peace .
Fight with every bit of your soul and know your not alone we are all together in this life and suffering it is a human experience.
I don't know you but I send you love and peace ❤
@idanad. thank you. I really needed that right now
Hope things improve for u. Take care.
Going through the same situation right now. If you want to talk, please feel free toreach out to me - it's not easy and talking with someone who understands what you're going through can be very helpful
I started watching your videos after my dad passed away last year. they have been a light in my dark night. thank you for doing what you do!
RIP your father.
Sorry for your loss.
A wonderful channel it brings such peace and inward thought just listening to the presentation EVERYTIME, RIP your dad no words can fill that void.
So sorry for you. You will miss him forever. Because your love lives on. Sending hugs. I miss my Pa and I am 73 years young. But I still miss my mother every single day. You get used to it, but it is always right there.
Im going thru the same. They are all with us. Everyday helping us be our best versions. They are proud of us when we try our best and they hate when we doubt ourselves or get sad. They love when we are happy. Im 100% sure of this.
I agree with most of the comments about the relief of being alone. However, we need to be able to help people, to observe people, and not to become soulless. Open a door for someone, allow an older person to go in front of you in line, smile at someone who needs a smile. Connect with others in small ways to avoid selfishness
absolutely.
True
Naturally, of course, in the course of your daily life! You can be of help and use to others only from your heart as needed, not under compulsion, social expectation norms or traditions or force. This is true freedom in this world.
Well said.
We need to connect and be nice to people who deserve it. Most people are not good people and do not deserve it - theu will see kindness as weakness and take advantage of that.
There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Once you understand that difference, you'll be more self-conscious of what or who you need in life.
I only feel lonely when I’m in a group or crowd of people. I feel free and at peace in my own company 😌.
Being alone and being lonely are not the same. Being alone is a time to connect with the inner self without the distractions of what lies outside of you. Loneliness is a state of needing or lacking wanting. Its good to be with others who are positive its healthy for you and others. A time out a time to yourself only you is also a good thing
it's about balance
Being alone is the finest thing you can have in your life. Yes of -course you meet people here and there .... but the finest part of life is when you are alone.. Less problems and more internal joy. Most of the time people suck, they bring problems only
Many, many decades ago I grew up in very rural remote NE Vermont. The nearest house to ours was 3.5 miles away. There were 51 students in my grade level in school. When not in school I was on my own. There was the forest and the mountains. My time was spent with me. It was all I knew. So my natural environment was solitude, I grew up self contained. I knew more of and about myself than my peers who lived in the village surrounded by the distractions of others and social support of others. I simply didn't need it. Looking back over the years I was very lucky to have had such a beginning because it has given me an inner strength and capability that others lack.
Good post 👍 My experience in life has been the hell of living in a city surrounded by upper middle class clowns who have all kinds of bizarre self destructive notions like the need to take experimental medications that injure and kill them, and who insist that I do the same. I resisted, but Im still surrounded by these nutjobs by necessity- Its a long story. 😅
I always thought I wanted people around me, but not anymore. I love my own company best; other than my immediate family, I stopped looking for people over the last 5 years and I have never felt this level of peace before. I have no problem with saying ‘no’ to anyone these days. Time is way too precious.
Small and short talk with the people one encounters such as a good morning, I like your shirt, etc. is enough for me to fill the need for social interaction.
So true 😊
Me and my lover are the same in the way that we both appreciate solitude. We both made decisions to ourselves before we first made contact thatt we would never stick around people that make us feel lesser than. Never stick around people who judge or put pressure on you to conform, or abuse or hurt us. We love each other so deeply, not because we feel we need each other, but because we have emptied our cups and filled them back up to a point with what we want in life. We want to love each other, we don't need to. We want to spend time together, we don't need to. We miss each other, but not in a destructive way.
On our first date, we went on a 5 hour long walk and barely spoke. There was no awkwardness, we just appreciated the fact that we could share a moment of taking in nature. We breathed deeply and observed all the creatures we saw on the way. I said to her in the beginning 'sorry I have nothing to talk about', and she said 'that's okay, we don't have to fill space with nonsense'. We talk a lot these days as we have gotten to know each other, but when we're in nature, when we find a good bench, when cuddle, we barely speak. It is so comforting to have found a woman like her. I love her so dearly and our serene silence is just one piece of the massive jigsaw that makes up our love.
We spend our time apart and we report back to each other what we got up to, the thoughts we had by ourselves. Besides, you cannot think straight if you're constantly around others.
Wow, that sounds awesome
Boy, you won the lottery
God bless 🎉
Being a highly sensitive person I have mostly preferred to be alone. I have always been acutely aware of negative energy that some people portray and disappointed at how little kindness there is to each other. Having said that there are still many very beautiful people in the world and I enjoy meeting them from time to time
Life is soooooo much less stressful without having others wanting our undivided attention.
It's sad that people will start to bully you if you don't want to join their group and conform. That is why open plan offices are a terrible idea, constant access.
Being pricked by the thorn of loneliness is better than taking the knife of betrayal.
I am a loner myself and this reminds me of one specific moment of sorrow where I told myself:
Being alone is fate, being lonely is a choice.
Kind ironic that you just so happen to drop this on my birthday & I was feeling the same way. As if I don’t need anyone, I recognized that I’d get unpleasant emotions everytime around my birthday because it’d remind me that I have no friends or that people don’t care not even family, even though it’s something so simple as a birthday lol. Thanks for the video drop, PERFECT timing!
Happy Birthday. Be well
Happy birthday! 🤗take care
@@Matt-B11374 💛
Happy birthday. You're not the only one to feel this way on the anniversary of the day you arrived on this planet. Some traditions do things for others on their birthdays. I've never tried it myself, but maybe it would be fun to anonymously leave something for someone. Who the hell knows. Just know you are NOT alone in spirit.
Happy birthday bro. Nothing wrong with celebrating your birthday on your own
Being in solitude was originally something that was imposed on me at an early age but now I see it as a privilege because it gives me space to explore my own emotions and understand my desires. Self actualization has healed me in so many ways and I honestly can’t depend on other people to make me feel good about myself.
Isn't it wonderful. " If one does not rely on others, no one can hurt you".
This video makes me grateful that I’m a loner . It’s like soon as I’m around a lot of people I get so annoyed. Love my peace .
This video resonates with me deeply. Throughout my life, I've found solace in solitude. My parents were often occupied with work, and I didn't have many friends at school. As a result, I spent a significant amount of time at home, engrossed in gaming. However, when I reached the age of 21, a profound transformation occurred.
I immersed myself in the world of books, dedicated myself to physical fitness, and sought wisdom through self-help videos. Nowadays, it's not uncommon for me to spend days or even weeks without speaking a word aloud or encountering another person (except for necessary trips to the store). It's important to clarify that this preference for solitude doesn't stem from social anxiety or introversion; rather, it's a genuine appreciation for being alone.
By embracing solitude, I've discovered the power of making independent decisions and removing toxic influences from my life. I selectively allow only those individuals who truly benefit me and nourish my soul. The lessons I've learned from my solitary existence are numerous, although delving into them would require more time than I have at present. Nonetheless, I firmly believe that the benefits of being alone are immense.
One significant advantage is the abundance of free time, which often leads to moments of boredom. Yet, this boredom becomes a fertile ground for new ideas to sprout, which, in turn, fuels personal growth. Although I don't intend to remain alone indefinitely, I view these years as a valuable opportunity to learn and understand myself on a deeper level before embarking on a quest to find my purpose.
By investing in self-discovery, I'm confident that I will be better equipped to navigate the complexities of life and pursue a meaningful future. This video reminds me that embracing solitude is not a cry for help, but rather a choice to embrace one's own company, leading to personal empowerment and a deeper understanding of oneself.
This is amazing, thanks for sharing your story!
mymuimi
Thank you for sharing your personal story. Enjoyed reading it. Agree with you. 😊
I loved reading your story, totally hear you
You are a good writer
Repect
As a person living alone most of the times it does get depressive, but once u get the jolt of crowd of the inner city once traveling you come back to appreciate the alone 😅
:( we need others & solitude. becoming overly invested in other peoples lives is just as problematic as being overly self involved and detached. balance is they key, community and support are fundamental…without them we would not have safety and security. we do need eachother…united we stand. divided we fall.
I’ve been fairly alone for a good part of the last fifteen years. Yes I’ve had friends, and was once in a romantic relationship for two years, but amongst these interactions and outside of them I spent an alarming amount of time by myself. Now as a thirty year old man it’s hard to make new friends, and even dating comes with its challenges. Yet looking back in my solitude and at it now as it is, I can say despite the lack of fortune and relationships it’s brought me I still value the wisdom and patience it has taught me, and the poor man’s peace of mind it consoles me with.
I can totally relate, I am calmest alone, exploring art, beauty of the world, however I can say that one of the strongest and deepest experiences I had was with people. Shared beauty of nature, spiritual experiences, literal miracles that cannot be even explained. We need people, we need people that give us space to be on our own, but joins to explore and discover, we need our people.
Your videos have changed my life for the better, and every one of them have taken me from a dark place to a more serene, complete, fulfilling life, without resentment, guilt or sorrow. Your videos have impacted me, a mere person, in many ways; at times replacing my therapist, and at times stoping me from taking anti-anxiety medications. I never commented on your videos, and seldom remember to click “like”, simply because after watching them I immerse myself in silence and absorb it, at my own pace. I’m sending you more than a pat on the back; but a sincere and full thank you, for you help so many, in ways you might not even know. I don’t know you, but let my gratefulness for your work now be registered here. 🙏🏼
This is profound. You put the thoughts I have in my head in the best way possible. I don’t seek approval anymore and that has led me to my authentic self. I’m still learning, but learning never stops.
I think what’s sad is how relatable this video is to absolutely everyone living in the west. We’re so dysfunctional, screen addicted & ignorant, we can’t connect or create meaningful relations with one another at all. It’s that sad, we’re having to intellectually beautify & focus on the benefits of being alone. We live in abundance & are completely miserable. From the POV of truth, we have seriously failed ourselves as well as one another. Great video, it hurts that I’ve been intellectually exploring these concepts myself for this past year after realising no matter how nice I am, how much effort I put in, how much I put down my screens, real friendship is no where to be found.
I started saying "Leave people alone" to myself a few years ago. I tried to say it to a few people that I know who were always in drama and it didn't go well. But it's so true and so profound.
I like to leave other people's drama alone. I find it irritating, boring and pathetic.
I've been single since I was 40...and I turn 60 this year. Alone? Yes. Lonely? Never.
agree. Solitude is my best friend. Never complaining. Always there to provide comfort.
I remember when the pandemic started, everybody was locked down, and people were absolutely losing their minds. I realized how many people have never been alone with themselves. I spend most of my time alone but I'm never lonely. Others seem to have a hard time understanding that or how you really can have a disregard for other's personal opinions of you, positive or negative. I don't need you but I may want you. Isn't that even more special?
I have no issue being around people but Im definitely at my best when Im alone. I never feel lonely in a bad way.
This really spoke to me. I find that I tend to stay in unhealthy relationships due to the fear of loneliness. I’ve recently learned to embrace my solitude and singleness. It’s been a struggle at times but this videos has uplifted me and appreciate this solitude. I’m just using this time to focus on myself and improve.
Bro, you're helping me understand life itself with these videos, genuine thanks to you...
I am 66 years old. I went from father to ,husband, children, another husband. I used to wonder why so many older women would stay single after loosing a husband one way or another. 6 years ago it happened to me. After a very short Adjustment period my question was answered ☺️ I never had the opportunity to find out who I was and what I preferred, and what I would do with my time if I was not considering others. I am so grateful for this part of my life. I am only rarely even aware of being alone now let alone lonely. If for some reason I do feel this a quick trip to the grocery fixes it quickly. Would I consider another relationship? Well I have learned never say never, but I really can't imagine giving up me again😉
Hi I’m 78 and feel the same way x
For me, it is when I am alone and quiet that I find connection with all beings. In stillness there is a kind of harmonious relationship with everything. But when I am with other humans, I do often feel lonely. Its so strange. Occasionally we connect with someone but its a brief sudden spark. Ita nice to love and embrace solitude and connect with someone else once in a while. Animals and nature are always good company.
Hello ,Thank you for sharing this beautiful message. Truly the herd mentality is limiting and may not allow us ti realise our full potential . Though we are made to feel by the society that socialising is very imp but if we have the courage to do what makes us happy and not conform to opinions or seek validation or approval than truly it will lead us to liberation. I love your message.Thanks a lot.🙏👌👌
I enjoy my solitude but, I have a safety net of people I can go to if I don’t want to be alone.
I’ve been truly alone without nobody to run too and it’s horrible.
The most alone I ever felt, was among a herd of hivemind hypnotized conformists, who did not allow anyone to be themselves. I just miss ... Me.
When you are among others you are alone regardless, you are just distracted too much to notice.
Another one I think is an example of a spouse waking up in a bed with "their better half" realizing they made a bad choice ...and meet true solitude and loneliness.
@Heart Feather-WORD!!
@@ttocselbag5054 ?
@@DeepInsideZettaiRyouiki- that means I’m giving you strong affirmation.
Group dynamics demand pecking orders, drama and gossip. There is very little worse than someone demanding my attention while they attempt to impress me with their boasting. My idea of being social isn’t to impose my ego onto someone.
@@futureofmoney3527this analysis is acurate for many situations.
This was fabulous... looking at all sides of this concerning issue. As a loner/introvert who spends all week engaging deeply with other people as a psychotherapist, this episode makes me feel much less guilty and less insecure about "not needing "people... now if only I can get my two extrovert best friends to understand this
@progressivedragon6664 -- how will your extrovert friends ever understand this? They are as incapable of having empathy with it as you are of understanding them. Keep your friends, but enjoy your introversion.
I've always been a loner but I also realized that with working from home, I need some human interaction. But now that socializing isn't being forced down my throat, I can actually appreciate socializing and be myself. I have a feeling that society as a whole is going through something like this. No longer being forced to do "normal" things allows us to better understand why we do those things in the first place, and then do them properly.
I've always loved quiet people; you never know if they are dancing in the daydream or if they are carrying the weight of the world. ~~ JOHN GREEN
Thank you for another beautiful program. I love your voice. I am one of those people who prefer to be and live alone. I ws married, I raised a son. The only person I love to spend time with is my 5 year old grandson. If I need help,I buy it. I read books, I go to art classes - those that please me. Day seems longer when I am alone. No gossip, no social pressure. My life and my time belong to me.
I am a lone wolf, but I have been hamstrung by criticism from my pack for it. Our culture doesn't encourage women to stand alone or believe we can. I believed what I was told and shown until I found the pain was too great and I broke away. Being alone is hard, being with Other is hard. But what is hardest is denying our soul's call, whatever that is. I have found peace at last - and your videos have helped me.
This is it. I have been gossiped about for choosing to be alone. Some people can’t accept it. It is what it is.I learnt it’s a wasted effort to try to please people. There is no end to it. And so I let them be in their own drama, their gossip, their ego, their moralizing.
Saying that, I’ve had some great friendships over the years. I think the problem is when it’s a group. Group dynamics can create pecking orders, gossip, drama, imposing egos. I need all that like I need a hole in the head.
A women choosing to be alone is definitely judged harshly by others. For some reason a woman being free of a man is seen as a threat to society itself.😂
That’s because our society can’t benefit from a woman who’s not dependent. It’s in their best interest that you marry and be in service. They need y’all but they conditioned you to believe you need them .. that’s the problem
@@futureofmoney3527 Hi. I relate to your message, especially around Group Activity. I just did not do that well and now I have stopped trying. Luckily, I have found a way to not feel so bad about this now. But it would have been nice if our society could welcome us lone wolves, not judge us.
@@Walklikeaduck111 Hi. I sure appreciate your words. I was raised so differently from my brother. He was supposed to go adventure, I got the message that I would not be able to manage that. Oh well. I see young women are able to do this somewhat more readily today. You go Girl.
Great video thank you.
Here is my philosophy and analogy:
I love the rainy and snowy seasons in cities where people complain
incessantly about bad weather but become overjoyed, and even
ambivalent when more favorable weather like summer and drought
seasons. When they can frolic with each other, clambering within
huge crowds. Complaining all the way while pounding down tons of
alcohol, snorting tons of drugs in an influencers frenzy to show off on social media. So when everyone is out and needy, like some mob of zombies feasting off each other.
I become a recluse. In hiding, I take great comfort in my own company, I'm an artist, as a creative person I surround myself with an ocean of open ideas. Musical instruments surround my space and I can dance. Be completely involved within my own work or laze around carefree!
When finally the heavy rainy season is finally upon the city. Less people are out. There are many more accidents on the roads so many of said roads are closed off. People rush home and don't linger. Leaving the entire city to my delighting ! Parks to myself and sometimes with other illusive sentient beings around, regarding each other just enough out of polite society in civilization. But giving ample personal space to graciously enjoy being alone and out in nature with the elements of rain and of snow !
Miserable city folk who only become happy and helpful, when it serves them are no people I would ever, ever wish to ever, lean on or depend on, ever ! Build yourselves from within and see the world as a sacred place that isn't your own personal playground.
My late MaMa was the wisest of them all:
"Child. Don't burden others. Be strong enough in yourself and become helpful to those most vulnerable. Don't expect anything. Create everything you need and inspire others through your own self motivation!"
Love your videos! Such great craftsmanship through and through
🎬👏🙏🏽
Your videos made me realize that I am not a weird guy who likes to be alone and don’t like to socialize. Because my relatives and friends thinks that we should all socialize with others and make a good impression among others. But I never felt the need for it.
This made me think about the fact that a lot of folks don't enjoy being alone, that when they are alone they spend a great deal of time inside their head.
Which then made me think of a quote by -Mana Maoli "You Live Most of Your Life Inside of Your Head. Make Sure it is a Nice Place to Be!"
Tricky thing about solitude is that it becomes your comfort zone and sometimes you forget how to get out of it.
Thank you for this concept! I learned as a child from parents who were very domineering and unpredictable, I was not going to receive approval so I stopped seeking it. Recognizing it had nothing to do with me, I was free to be an individual. I still am confused by the amount of effort and emotion people put into validation seeking.
I have never felt a sense of belonging or that I was part of any community. Never fit in among others, never felt comfortable among others. Its my nature to be introverted and quite, now I am on a journey to find peace with myself by myself.
This video affirms all that i went through in order to get to this stage of solitude.. which i am most grateful for.. inner peace is achieved! Thank you for sharing this❤
Extremely insightful & deeply thought through. I enjoyed this very much. Great work brother!
The ability to enjoy solitude-not needing anybody-is a function of healthy stoicism.
& mindfullness
And not everyone wants healthy stoicism
@@bhson95 Its like a flower bleaching herself so she does not attract bees and admirers lmao
aggression turned inwards which in the longterm turns into indifference.
Thats why you see lot of men turning to stoicism after break up, its a channel for the aggression turned onto themselves.
Its like the personality structure becomes entombed in stone. When nothing cracks open that wall, too late, you live your whole life in this state as the ability to socialize withers away with the years.
Haunting.
After all in the end, like how we were born, we were born alone. We die alone. Not needing people reminds us that we should know all of us have paths to walk away from as our choice. This whole video, has a lot to unpack, and really well made.
As an enormous einzelganger myself i really enjoyed this video and not only this video. You are my favorite subscription. You have my gratitude.
I love the analogy of the fish in the dried-up lake, it's such a powerful image of how we can become overly dependent on each other. It's true that our society has become more individualistic, but I think you've hit the nail on the head by highlighting the freedom and authenticity that can come from this. It's a refreshing perspective to consider the positive aspects of not needing people, rather than just focusing on the loneliness that can sometimes come with it.
Peace is better than drama and sadly the world is full of conflict.
Nothing wrong with being alone.
People that love attention & drama can’t be alone with themselves
I thrive in my solitude. My favourite place to be. My most authentic place to be. When I’m with others, I sacrifice a lot for their sake, to care for them. I feel so many of their things,& nurture them. I would enjoy that in return. I love my solitude. The place where I have the most fun!
Thank you so much for this video. 💗 . I was thinking on that exact issue this afternoon. I
Am a Senior woman and have been on my own for a long time. My family mean a lot to me. BUT... being on my own is absolutely necessary for me. I have often felt guilt that I do not pursue company. But as you so eloquently stated, it is definitely better to be on my own.
I've been living alone my whole life, in many different countries. It's my pure peace. I dive deep into my studies, which is always Taousm, Buddhist Practices, hidden history..... what I provide for myself is far greater than what people give me. Especially Woman, I am a Woman too. And I find they always complain about something...then bting me down. Love your channel.
My new workplace has too many leeches behaviours people and the salary is low either. Wish me luck to stay away from these people and never have to meet again.
Amazing video. I think with enjoying one's solitude comes lots of self love and self respect. Which are one of the best feelings.
thank you i needed this validation whole-heartedly 🙏🏼🙏🏼💖💖
Thank you. This was comforting this morning.