Dating skill is learned early in life. Most never learned it because they were too busy in school and work. Not allowed dating in school. Now they unprepared.
@@Grace-iv1ho or in my case... teenage me: "mom can i stay out with my friends and go to parties?" [learning social skills and meeting potential future spouse] Mom: "No! your curfew is at 10pm!" ......Years later. mom: "What is wrong with you? Why can't you find a wife?"
Here in the U.S. getting married under the age of 30 is very rare. Who wants to get married in their 20s ? Enjoy your youth and enjoy your freedom. Once you get married, you will lose your freedom and space. Being single and living alone is the best thing every happen in my life, no stupid rules to follow. I can set my time and spent my own money. Too good to be true? Yes, dreams do come true. The nightmare starts on the day you get married. A message to those leftover women, don't be sad. Life is better without being married.
It is really sad and ridiculous. Parents don't allow us to date during school and university, we should focus on graduation and learning alone and then suddenly, after graduation, we should immediately bring home a significant other and soon a baby. Like, how..? How can we do that when all our life was focused on school alone? Find the mistake in the euqation :'D Finding a boyfriend is not that easy, I wish it would be that easy like ordering a package. Sometimes parents and other family members don't even think logically...
This is because in modern life, women no longer get married by arrangement from parents. leftover women, most of them do wanna get married, but the point is their expectations are higher than their own values... males and females are different, it is harder for a male to have one night stand, but it is easy for a female to have one night stand even if she is ugly, guys are more desperate on sex. However, for marriage, if a female does not have good value, she can find men to hook up every night without problems, but it is hard for her to find a man that wanna marry her. For a man, if he can make money later, or lower standard, usually men are more willing to lower standard than women, he can always find a woman, or even a very young woman.
marry for love is a stupid slogan, if the woman is not hot, and have high standard, why the high-value guy has to fall in love and be crazy about her. Drama and fairy tale is not how the world works.
Said _"Parents don't allow us to date during school and university"_ . Funny that. As a young man in the west it was not my parents who were not allowing me to date girls, it was girls themselves.
@@lexlayabout5757 Of course it is correct, entering colleges are very difficult, Without a bachelor degree, salary could be low, then how can the guys date girls then with low salary? wihout a bachelor degree, how can women be indepedent without good salary?? in west, paremts are kids are not close to each other, parents dont need to buy house for kids, kids dont need to take caee of parents when they need. parents even die alone without anybody know. Dont use western standard as universal standard, your parents just dont really care about you, if you get married or not, happy or not, it is your business not your parents' business. I have never heard parents dont allow kids to date in university, before university, it is common and correct. dating in highschool would ruin the person's future and waste the person's time. In China, parents take respisbilties for kids' future.
@@lexlayabout5757 Also, I believe people in China who date in highschool, they will be end up being leftover men or leftoverwomen after highschool due to low salaries, no degree. Unless their parents are freaking rich.
“It’s even hard to find a real friend here, not to mention love.” GOSH-THIS IS JUST SO INCREDIBLY SAD AND HUMILIATING sounding!!!! 😢why do even I feel so FLUSTERED, FRUSTRAITED, and even PRESSURED by this idealism? This CANNOT be right, it cannot be LOVE....🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤭
@Suzukisan Useless people have jobs??? EXPLAIN THAT 1... If they have jobs that makes growth, then how are they useless? You sound like a shity person yourself..
None of us are important unless we are loved I do not mean just marriage but family. None of us should be second-class citizens or thought of as an asset. Love is give and take. Real partners do not die for the ones they love. Rather they live for the ones they love. Unless both genders can understand this our world is doomed.
This video was in my CZcams recommended page... This video is very insightful, and outlines the creation of an enormous tragedy. What women have, in China, is all the wants, of any woman anywhere. Their parents and extended families are still functioning in Mandarin hierarchy, with little concern for their daughters’ overall wellbeing. It is obvious that what motivates mothers and grandparents, is THEIR reputation, within THEIR social strata. Their daughters are a mechanical lever, to fulfill the family’s position in the larger extended structure. The daughters aren’t really cared about, in a personal way, and all of that generates enormous pressure on daughters. They feel responsible for furthering the family goals, while discarding their own egos to please everybody but the person they see in the mirror. And they launch out upon everyone around them, because they don’t like their reflection. The man who might be otherwise please-able by these women, never see these daughters for the women they can be under other circumstances, because these women cannot escape their own history, tradition and family connections. This tragedy is ongoing, and will have horrible consequences. And then there are the 20% surplus male population, that has many of the same problems, indicators, and consequences. One wonders when critical mass will be reached, not if...
It would be epic if these so call "left over women" found friendship within each other, they all seem like they would understand each other and give good support
China: Lets roll out this 1 child policy Chinese people: "**aborts baby girls in favor of sons** China: Aight lets lift this policy we don't have enough girls Chinese people: wHeRe HaVe AlL tHe WoMeN gOnE? China: **surprised Pikachu face**
This makes me so mad as an Asian female. Still remember my grandmother telling me to stop reading and start cleaning because being smart won't amount to anything 🙃 because girls need to know how to cook and clean and find a good (rich) husband. Wtf. Never had the sweet grandma relationship I hear about. Nope. Not me. Same messaging from parents and brother and they wonder why I had depression? If you don't feel any type of self-worth because ppl who are supposed to love and protect you (family) at least from what I've read and seen in TV, constantly tell you you are worthless.
Ziaty A.T loneliness is not so bad I've felt it for years not being able to to find the right woman that is not an ass . one day she will come I believe. maybe the day you read this she will come .
None of those "dating info" posters had pictures... They're shopping for spouses but don't care if they look like a dragon, they're just interested in data like age, height and income... how freaking sad.
nobody care, overthere they all look the same (for the same weight and . . . tallness?) cause of low gene diversity in the population. for exemple an european can't tell the difference between them, they sure can find differnece in "our" faces , because big things change from person to person cause of high gene diversity (high variety of places to adapt to, then war and raid (loot and rape(old one not the weak one of today)) to spread diference in gene therefor, looks
For the women who reside in cities rather than rural areas, *trying to stand out* could help. Some men, including Asian men, *prefer women with a unique, individual style,* even though their cultures are group-think and standing out is frowned-on. Possessing *interesting education, skills, abilities, hobbies,* etc. can help as well.
Oh..please in CHina there is 30-40 million more men. These leftover women just have super high standards. It's not about love it's about status and wealthy.
A poem titled 'The Joy.' The joy the boy sees Is in the face of the girl From her day. Time moves all along for both to share. When their lives endures the spark The two savor that time. Joy & spark are forever one.
I honestly don't understand why people think they can't be happy being single. The outer world is a reflection of your inner world, if you are at peace with yourself, you need nobody to make you happy. I'm a 31 y.o brazilian guy and I'm happy being single!
I think some of these sheng nv women are ok. Not those who think they are too good for anyone though. That literature professor explained the situation pretty well I think. People in China are just treated as commodities, if they don't meet certain criteria they have zero value. I often heard my fellow laowai friends in China say "men are nothing here if they don't have a house and car". Women are considered to be useless if they are over 27, unmarried, or in their thirties, divorced with a kid. It's quite a fucked up situation. I think foreigners are the way to go for these leftover women. Just don't have unrealistic expectations of your foreign husband. Be prepared to rent and have a minimalist lifestyle. If you can really do that he will love and respect you, if you are truly not materialistic. I'm MGTOW but if I was one of these sheng nv women I'd look for a Western husband, not hard to find foreign men interested in older Chinese women.
I'm from Morocco (african culture) and there's something I don't understand about mgtow. Many people who are like you keep bashing women in their thirties but here, men seem more "tolerant"... so what's the real issue!? Do you have a problem with western women!?
Trust me. I am a man in America. You girls (Chinese in this video) are so cute, so pretty. You are not too old. Here in America you would not be looked at strangely at all. You all are very young and beautiful. Be happy. Don't worry. Marry for love.
That feels really inappropriate to think your parents give out your personal info to random people in hopes of you getting a date. Usually, you talk to the person first and then give them your number.
_Usually_ ? There is no "Usually". Maybe usual for you, but not for many others. I never met any girl that way, partly because at any function I went to the girls were outnumbered by men at least 4:1 and there are always more charming guys around than me. Girls just ignored me because I wasn't loud and funny. If I'd tried giving them my number they would have told me to stuff it.
Excellent video, and informative based on the importance of personality development.This exposes the foundation for successful marriage and not fairy tale dreams based on greed and obsession with material possessions.When the money is gone all is left is insecurity due lack of personality development.Then divorce is inevitable due to a false sense of security.
Před 4 lety+1
She didn't want to "lower" her standards but expects that men to lower theirs.
In China, there are about 30 million men who cannot get married because of the gender selective abortions over the years of the 1 child policy. Add to that the 'left over women' problem and we will probably see a reduction of population in 30 years.
It's got to do with age and children. Once a women hits thirty, the chances a baby is born with birth defects starts to rise at an alarming rate. Odds of difficulty with carrying and delivering the baby increases as well. As you can see from the video, a major, if not the major, reason to marry in China is to have a family. If a women is near thirty, then there is increased odds the family won't happen, thus making those women less desirable or "leftover". My guess is they don't refer to me as leftover as they can still contribute healthy sperm well past thirty. That and men can still provide and protect for a family at that age.
These women have every single right to be picky. Why would a woman with a degree who worked so hard to be rich and successful marry a poor man who would just be wasting her money and wealth while giving nothing or very little in return? Nothing wrong with being single either.
That "dating corner" isn't much different from dating apps in which you describe yourself, and I see nothing wrong with it. For many of us it is the only way to meet people, and it is ONLY a start. Once you meet a person that way you only then decide whether to continue with them or not. My mother said (in effect) I ought only meet girls I already knew, but as I knew no girls already that advice was bullshit, but it's what the girl @7:10 is saying too.
All the girls they talked to were pretty. China’s lucky because In America we’d be more than happy to take girls 25-30 and marry them, because the majority of us are open minded caring people, not cold.
From my personal experience, most Chinese women don't really believe in love but insist they do. Love for them means convenience, they love a man only if he meets a list of strict requirements, if one requirement is missing, love is finished as if nothing ever happened. Top on the list a man that makes more money than his woman and is willing to change his lifestyle to meet hers, never the other way around.
Wakeup To Reality Hypergamy & Briffault's Law condensed. Esther Villar's "The Manipulated Man" & Lawrence Shannon's "The Predatory Female" describe "The Chameleon Syndrome" very well. A good example of this is the supposed Redpilling of Laci Green.
But, they think like that because they've been programmed the patriarchal way for thousands of years (that "top on the list a man that makes more money than his woman", does not originate in the female's mind). It's the millenary patriarchal programing of society at large.
Peter Cuban I’m sorry but matriarchy then is responsible for making man be the last to leave a sinking boat or to have to pay for child support. You can play the blame game it’s not going to end. Fact is these woman are not qualified enough to attract the level of man they desire. That’s why they are “leftover”. There are “leftover” man as well but they are not discussed because the “social construct” prevents their story from being regarded as relevant.
"Leftover women" -- what we in the west used to call "old maids." Where the women with advanced degrees are concerned, in modern western societies there is something called "hypergamy" in which the women will not allow themselves to marry below their "station," status, or level of education.
It seems that in the "modern society" we live in, following social rules and standards are more important than people... we're more married to our societies than we are to each other.
If you want things like this to stop, stop blaming and shaming men for everything. And instead, help them. If you want to be with a rich guy, go be with a guy and help him with that goal. The thing is this. Evolution gave every woman the power that can make a man shine brighter then the sun or fade to oblivion. As every man has a desire that is hard coded in him to form a close bond with a woman. And the problem we have today is that the men of this world are shamed into expecting something in return, so they quit and do their own thing. So, to any woman that reads this, please go and help your men, they need you.
Even if you know this is how it is in certain parts of the world, it's still odd that someone would marry for any other reason that that they really like the other person - a lot.
Helen E, unfortunately "love" is not a good measuring stick if you go by the experience in the west. 50% of "love" marriages end in divorce. Go figure.
- Vajradatta - I doubt it’s because of love it’s just that in the West it’s easy to divorce, it’s more accepted. While it’s not acceptable in the rest of the world, so people put up with their marriage.
It takes about 5 years from the time a man and woman start dating, to the point where they start to have babies. Since a woman starts to have serious medical problems if she tries to give birth to a child after the age of 37 that means that when the women pass the age of 32 she is not considered worth DATING for the intentions of marriage by most men. I don't understand why women cannot seem to understand this biological fact about life??? I wanted to have children when I was 40 and other women were asking me why wasn't I dating women who were my age or maybe a bit older ??? They could not seem to understand that once a woman hits menopause, she cannot give birth anymore.
A friend of mine is not so good looking and has an avarage education. Her parents are normal people, not wealthy. She's married with 3 kids. I asked her how she found her husband. She said, she didn't do anything.Her mother and herself were busy cooking dinner, when her brother showed up. He said, he brought home a friend from his sport-team.She married that friend 5 years later, when she turned 30. They saved for a modest wedding and the first 3 rent-payments of their flat.
One is 26 she looks older then me by 15 years. Never mind i saw her in better lighting she looks about her age just not with that Steelers Jersey on and that livingroom lighting
Hold both your hands up! On one hand, leave 5 digits This represents the words of congratulation for your BOY baby. On the other just the 2... These represent the words of sadness and forgiveness at your having a GIRL baby! WE HAVE A GIRL BABY!!! Well, she is 10 this year and we love her always. US? We met online in 2004. Lily was 38 and SINGLE? Me WESTERN and 45!! At that point had not heard of Leftover WOMEN. I was just IN LOVE WITH THIS WONDERFUL GIRL!!! David and Lily 14 years of love this year!!!!!
steamsearcher Congratulations David and Lily! Can you tell me what website you used to meet? I'd like to try it myself. The world is too big to just look in my city.
@@steamsearcher oh wow. What a blessing. Hope my question wasn't offensive. I'm trying but no luck and am Asian similar age to when you met your wife so was curious for myself. Thank you for the reply!
Everybody be worried about the problems but won't try to work toward a solution. Nobady perfect I feel nowadays, people are too worried about tomrrow then today and make their own barriers.
What I get from this video is that China is going through some major cultural changes, as old customs are clashing with new ones. Older, more conservative views on marriage were not that different a few decades ago in North America and Europe.
There are MANY Nigerian men looking for wives, especially ones with a PhD and a thriving career...Somebody hook these ladies up with an African Prince..
I have seen other similar videos and the summary always the same: these leftovers only want to get the 1-5% of the people with high income, with car and big house, and if they can't get these targeted people, they rather don't want anybody else. Well it is their own problem I think, now I understand what did the woman mean when she said "ass", she ment not rich people basically. But it is not only an asian tendency, many european countries have people with same mentality, if somebody has just even an average job with average income, they are considered as boring people, beause they can't pay for the highest quality cars, restaurants, hotels, luxury trips and so on.
@Bill Blount, *Many* North American and Caribbean women *of African descent* would fit that bill, as well as putting *their all* into their significant relationships, *being very supportive* and *loving,* and are *looking.* Some women of *Indigenous North American* and *Mexican* descent as well.
Some Chinese woman are so loving and caring ... DONT feal Lonely 😞 it’s better to be lonely That to have a life of abuse Go out went you want come back wen u want eat wen you want Have friends that are true And most of all love God who surly loves you . You can be married and still be lonely Like myself .😢but I keep busy in serving God and loving others
My friend's wife is Chinese . She was left by a tree as a baby and brought to an orphanage . She was adopted by white Americans and raised here in Ohio . It is interesting to see her behavior because it is encoded in her even though she has never been there as an adult to experience it . She is driven by Asian culture as a whole even though she has no memory of being there . And she is so racist that it cracks me up .
I feel terrible seeing this Who should have to "Rent" a boyfriend and what kind of soulless male would ever do that?? Word to the wise ladies. Travel abroad. Lots of great guys around the world to be had ;)
i regularly try to date older women or who are smarter then me or make more money then i do the problem is they aren't attracted to me #1 i don't make more money then they do #2 i don't look good #3 i have a bad job i stopped looking at women my age years ago as they are much stricter and much more blunt and insulting about it either that or they are too naive to know what a real relationship is about not knowing what is expected from a wife or thinking that inevitabilities such as fighting and compromise lead to the end of a relationship what's worse is dating outside of my country is impossible as everyone is racist or whatever the equivalent of that is for americans on top of that dating outside my race is difficult in fact nearly impossible because of how women of other races treat white men (and other people will call me racist for saying that but when women do it they get to say it's a preference) dating outside of my state is more possible but still difficult as over 50 miles (80km) is considered too difficult and or inconvenient for someone to travel to meet me and sadly i can't afford to make the trip myself dating with in my state has proved difficult mostly because of women's expectations and religion looking at the numbers there are apparently very few women in my town or at least ones that are looking for a relationship to begin with (that's why i had to go out of town then out of state and even farther) what most people don't see is that as a man you aren't even really considered a man until you have a family in the eyes of many men women and sometimes the government itself only being given health benefits and other assistance when you have kids to prove that point if i had just said forget about doing the right thing and had a kid with my ex we would have gotten a government hand out both of us would have gotten free health care and other things but we didn't want to do that all of this affects my health and well being because i hear your not happy if your not married you're not a real man until you have a family if you don't have at least a wife there must be something wrong with you or you must be gay not only that but the health benefits of being in a happy healthy relationship are so highly lauded that my life expectancy just got cut another four years so i'm more than willing to bet if there are women who really want a relationship they can find one even tho they might have to compromise on something
Alexander Madwrite so sorry to hear your story but it is almost a nature of woman to fall for a man who is stronger than her physically and mentally, a woman loves a man who is smarter than herself.
Alexander Madwrite , exactly my friend this video is a lie. These women wont settle. Which is fine, but then they have to spew this fake feminist propaganda about not finding a man. In China 120:100 M:F ratio of young ppl if. You cant get a man in china its coz you dont want to.
I'm a Chinese Canadian woman with a master's degree and a well-paying job, married to a much younger Caucasian man who is less "educated" and makes significantly less money than me. I have enough money, so I don't need someone else to provide that. I married him for his devotion and his values. We met through political activity; no dating apps for me--I didn't want any desperate men. Women can smell desperation a mile away. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend because he casts a wide net; he'll have anybody with a pulse, and I was just filling a position. I felt like he just wanted a girlfriend, not necessarily me. My husband and I were already prepared to live single lives before we met. So when he chose me, I knew that he saw something special in me, and that I wasn't just filling a position.
@@moontears3887 What you choose to ass-u-me about people you've never met is your business. I choose to judge people as individuals based on evidence rather than ass-umptions about categories. However, I can't force that logic on anyone else.
i'm a 29 year old single woman, definitely left over shengnu ahahahaha yeh most of my friends are married I'm the only single person in my group of friends
Look to marry a handsome white guy with a big dick. Not a rich one, just a guy who wants to rent a hose with you ( you pay half ) and you have an equal relationship. Yes, those conditions are not suitable for you, lol!
+SBG Aussie MGTOW, Silverboy I'm sorry you have such hatred towards me. Somehow it seems like i've offended your delicate sensibilities by simply stating my gender and singledom. You don't know me and I've never met you, let alone hurt you. It boggles me why as a self declared MGTOW why you spend your days picking fights with women online?
No hatred toward you at all in fact. That was mean't to just be a bit of fun. I don't hate women. I've been married to a Thai girl before and I've had two Chinese GF's, one 28 and one 38. Most MGTOW don't hate women. It may interest you to know that I have lived in China before and I speak Chinese so I know about this topic. My advice to you as a leftover is in fact deadly serious: Possibly you have more realistic expectations of men, I don't know, not this "buy me a house", "buy me a car" nonsense most Chinese women go on about.
+ SBG Aussie MGTOW, Silverboy You're what, 60+ years old? Old enough to be the father of the women you date. I always find it bizarre and somewhat alarming when older white guys get asian girlfriends half their age or younger. I am australian as well, an ABC actually. Recently saw an episode of insight on SBS where lonely aussie men would "order" chinese/vietnamese brides online, who were inevitably much much younger. Jenny brockie just appeared baffled and all the white women in the audience looked concerned. Many of the couples weren't that happy and my impression was that the women were used as servants - to cook and care for the blokes, while the men resented their wives' poor integration into western society. While I commend your interest and investment in chinese culture, it doesn't seem to me that your romantic choices in life have resulted in happiness for you given your MGTOW status. You sound bitter and disappointed about your previous girlfriends and their materialistic demands. To be honest you're not in a position to offer me any advice. I don't have unrealistic expectations and I've turned down many a wealthy suitor, white or otherwise. My main issue is I'm not heterosexual, and I see myself as an aromantic asexual. Men bore me. Sex and romance don't appeal to me. I'm like a female MGTOW. Going my own way, and I hate it when my parents/extended asian family pressure me by calling me a shengnu. it frustrates me that my worth as a woman is determined by marriage and childbearing. I have no desire for either. But tell that to my chinese mum who said "the only reason we sent you to university was to find a good husband and you're a failure in life now". It doesn't matter to my family that i'm a successful doctor with houses, car, cash, freedom to do what I want. If I am husbandless at my age I am worthless by default. Yay. Go Chinese culture! What a progressive and inclusive way of thinking.
There are so many things to enjoy in life without marriage. Also, by not marrying and rearing a child, you could save a lot of money, and use that money to take care of yourself when you get old. No need for family.
The problem is that everyone wants everything and marriage is like online shopping nowadays you are buying a product not a life partner in old days people worked on their marriage nowadays couples don't even try
If there is more single men than single women how can there be a high number of leftover women? Something doesn't add up. Are the women too picky? Is it possible they're too worried about wealth and status?
Shinethelight : Well, there are a lot of poor men in China. It’s natural for a female to look financial security in a partner because she wants to know he will be able to care for her and their future children. Money should always be a consideration in romance but the problem now lies in their expectations. As a woman rise in status and income, the pool of men who is higher than them gets smaller. That’s where the issue lies. I’m not saying a woman should have no standards and marry a dirt poor man but not every man is going to have a house, a car, and be working in a Fortune 500 company. When you add physical characteristics (age, height, skin tone, etc), then it becomes even more difficult to find that special someone.
Lin Bin explained it in a Chinese man's perspective. From the perspective of a former leftover woman, Chinese men are not comfident enough to be with those women with a higher academic degree or higher income because of the conventional opinion of gender-related social order like the video says. They tend to marry women less than them. As a result, the most capable women and the least capable are "left over". Of cause the two groups of people wouldn't match. Another reason is that Chinese men in general, like men in many cultures, see women as reproduction machines. Thus older women, say above 28, in men's opion, have less chance to give birth to children, not speaking of precious sons who could carry on family lineage, and are much less desirable. Both of the above phenomena root in the sexist tradition in Chinese culture. I can not speak for all the "leftover women" in China, but as for me and my single female friends, we are merely looking for mentally matured men who we can have meaning conversation with, similar family background and equivalent financial status. The reality is, the later two standards are not that hard to meet, but as for interllectual level (not necessarily connected to diploma)... it's almost impossible, as no matter how "great" some men are, all they care about is promotion, stock market, and having a pretty heifer to bear a calf. And, thanks to the One Child Policy, Chinese men born after 1978 are so spoild by their parents that they expect future wives can take care of them like their mothers do. >__> A female single child, on the other hand, is taught by their parents that she is no difference than a boy, and usually would turn out to be an independent woman. Why would such a woman be willing to have a "huge baby" tagged along when she is fine living her own life?
BTW, there are more male than female in China is because parents prefer boys. Out side of big cities, parents would kill or abandon the new born baby girls.
Most of the problems are caused by media. Every show, tv series, movie shows successful, top model, damn rich people with perfect manner, then people think well they need those people too in their own life, they are definitely there, just hard to find, but at the end they have realize it was a dream, then it will be late, because nobody wants them in their old age, until they kept dreaming. Same happens with the migration. Migrants only see the good side of rich countries and they think people barely need to do anything to get so rich in western countries, but when they have finally arrive to the country, they get disappointed, because they don't get what they have seen on TV or Internet.
It’s already an evolution from the old tradition. That is pre-arranged marriage by parents. This is not unique. When more women are better educated, they are choosy, but too picky; then she might end up alone. If she can accept that then there is nothing wrong. The worst scenario is end up as mistress to some successful men. Then just another old tradition.
10:41 "Being single is awful, but I'm accustomed to this life already". That pretty well sums it up. I was in the same situation. I was the man who no woman wanted, and I spent many lonely years single for lack of choice. The difference is, I did something about it. I took my search for love overseas while I was still young enough. Not that it was easy - far from it. It took six years' work between when I first wrote to a girl in the Philippines to when I got married. It didn't get given to me on a plate - I really had to work hard for it, both physically and emotionally. Was it worth it? Absolutely! I wouldn't trade for anything. We celebrated our 20th Wedding Anniversary last year. So the question I would like to ask these women is: How much effort are you putting into finding love? It doesn't get given to you on a plate - you have to earn it. There are no guarantees that you will find love no matter how hard you try, but one thing IS guaranteed: If you do nothing, that is exactly what you will get: nothing.
congratulations on your anniversary. like what you said, you improved at the speed of life, they probably only reduce an unreasonable requirement from their checklist behind the speed at which their life is going. time is of the essence, its about whether you are getting wise quick enough, you took radical measures, some of them act like they are models, the men they want have a choice two notches of beauty above them. they are not self aware. moving to another country is a pretty good idea, especially one not as economically developed for a man, its an all round bargain, even the housing there may be cheaper
@@crimsonite1524 You certainly speak the truth. During my long lonely years of forced singleness, I often heard messages along the lines of "Women want men to be romantic towards them, to love and respect them for who they are, regardless of their looks or bank balances". Reality was quite different. As far as I'm concerned, such messages are just empty words, and - without being backed up by action - little better than lies. Apparently men aren't allowed to judge women by the size of their breasts or bank balances, but women ARE allowed to judge men by the size of their bank balances and their looks. It was this double standard that I was up against. China doesn't have a monopoly on that by any means! And do you know, around the time I got married, a lot of local women used to whine at me, "Why a Filipina? What's wrong with New Zealand girls?" They were obviously thinking of this Mail Order Bride from the Philippines myth, and that I didn't want New Zealand women. In fact, the opposite was true - it was New Zealand women who didn't want me!! And then they had the cheek to wonder why I looked elsewhere!?!? And here I see these Chinese women doing little or nothing about finding love, expecting some ridiculously rich, ridiculously handsome Prince to be given to them on a silver platter! No prizes for guessing that I have absolutely zero sympathy for them.
women dont put any effort, all they do is wait til someone approaches them. men have to do all work, approach, take them on date, take relationship to next level. during any of this effort, woman can say no and end relationship. it is alot of work for the guys, but basically zero effort from women.
@@edgehodl4832 Indeed. I had already been bitten by that. So when I started writing to my wife, I couldn't believe my luck. Here was someone who wanted it to work just as much as I did, and was prepared to put in the hard yards to make it work. I was putting in all this effort, and giving all this love, and for the very first time in my life, it was all coming back. She had had the same problem I had had - nobody wanted her in her own country, so she tried overseas. That resulted in disappointment after disappointment after disappointment - until one day, just out of the blue, a letter arrived from this chap from New Zealand. We clicked very quickly, and our long-distance relationship (of 11 months) was so good, that I had no hesitation in proposing to her two days after we physically met. That was back in June 1999. We married in New Zealand that September. We're still married today. I think that one reason our relationship worked is that both of us really really wanted it to work. We were both prepared to invest ourselves into making it work. We still have that attitude today. We still earn each other's love. The thing with these women in the video is, for them, it's all take, take, take, and no give. The men have to conform to THEIR standards - no word whatsoever about them contributing to the relationship. Not that China has any monopoly on that. I've seen enough of that here.
And in exsample , Chinese girl finds boy taller then her , better paying job, and nice home and car , they get married, what happens if the boys job is out of bussiness. Do they divorce then ?
ok thats intresting , then may I ask out of curiosity due to strict immigration laws in china would they then be faced with issues such as seeking new citizenship with the country the husband is from and their native china ie would they be thrown out of china as a result and there for be forced to take citizen ship of the country of the husband ie Germany if the husband is from Germany or british if the husband from UK French if they married a frenchmen etc
@@olivermccann8498 China doesn't have dual citizenship. Technically, you can become chinese but they have very complicated demands and it's usually very hard to get it (your european passport is much better honestly, so you don't need their citizenship). If you have a wife, she can just keep her resident permit going but she can't have a dual citizenship, China doesn't allow it (except for children with specific cases).
That woman in the fooball shirt is clearly a case of too high standards. She is a leftover because no men in the group she deemed desirable picked her.
The woman in the football shirt looks like a Rotten egg which is useless. That's why men throw her in a dustbin. Men always prefer to young women who have fresh mind, supporting tendency, and most importantly they are very loyal at this age and much fertile than the leftover women. These are natural features and behaviour of the young beautiful girls (around 20 to 26). But if she is 30+ and unmarried and want to get married but failed due to more picky then all the bizarre behaviour will be visible on her.
I am a middle aged American white male. I would love to have a relationship with a ‘left Over Woman’, but if I did I would be ridiculed by some American women of having an “Asian Fetish”.
If it is meant to be then it is meant to be; if not then continue to live and love your life. Marriage is not everything, it dont always give you full happiness.
They shouldn't called them LEFT OVER these ladies have their reasons to marry. And you can still have children after 30 and more knowledge of taking care of themselves.
3:51 Why did they show us the person asking the question, and then not showing us the woman answering it? I fear the oriental countries are trying to make documentaries "American Style", which would be a disaster.
I am 44 and divorced. I should feel like a leftover, but I don't. 28 is fucking young!! WTF?! Like the girl said better to tolerate lonelilness than being married to an ass. I agree with her 100%! She couldn't have said it better. Why settle for trash? Better to be alone than with the wrong person. The misogyny is astounding!
The main reason the parents push for marriage is because in their culture the children take care of the parents when they get older .
My parents got married 2 weeks after they meet. They were married for 53 years before they passed. Died within 10 months of each other.
Dating skill is learned early in life. Most never learned it because they were too busy in school and work. Not allowed dating in school. Now they unprepared.
Asian parents be like:
“NO DATING TILL U HAVE GRADUATED COLLEGE!!”
*the second the kid graduates*
“WHY U NO HUSBAND/WIFE?!?”
dateing is waste time and money the only winner is the woman
No it's women i want a man with a income of 6,000,000,00 a year all and have an unlimited access to you're money.
Dateing was a waste on time and just an training ground for you the guy to give all your resource to an whole in training.
@@Grace-iv1ho or in my case...
teenage me: "mom can i stay out with my friends and go to parties?" [learning social skills and meeting potential future spouse]
Mom: "No! your curfew is at 10pm!"
......Years later. mom: "What is wrong with you? Why can't you find a wife?"
Here in the U.S. getting married under the age of 30 is very rare. Who wants to get married in their 20s ? Enjoy your youth and enjoy your freedom. Once you get married, you will lose your freedom and space. Being single and living alone is the best thing every happen in my life, no stupid rules to follow. I can set my time and spent my own money. Too good to be true? Yes, dreams do come true. The nightmare starts on the day you get married. A message to those leftover women, don't be sad. Life is better without being married.
It is really sad and ridiculous. Parents don't allow us to date during school and university, we should focus on graduation and learning alone and then suddenly, after graduation, we should immediately bring home a significant other and soon a baby. Like, how..? How can we do that when all our life was focused on school alone? Find the mistake in the euqation :'D
Finding a boyfriend is not that easy, I wish it would be that easy like ordering a package.
Sometimes parents and other family members don't even think logically...
This is because in modern life, women no longer get married by arrangement from parents. leftover women, most of them do wanna get married, but the point is their expectations are higher than their own values...
males and females are different, it is harder for a male to have one night stand, but it is easy for a female to have one night stand even if she is ugly, guys are more desperate on sex. However, for marriage, if a female does not have good value, she can find men to hook up every night without problems, but it is hard for her to find a man that wanna marry her. For a man, if he can make money later, or lower standard, usually men are more willing to lower standard than women, he can always find a woman, or even a very young woman.
marry for love is a stupid slogan, if the woman is not hot, and have high standard, why the high-value guy has to fall in love and be crazy about her.
Drama and fairy tale is not how the world works.
Said _"Parents don't allow us to date during school and university"_ . Funny that. As a young man in the west it was not my parents who were not allowing me to date girls, it was girls themselves.
@@lexlayabout5757 Of course it is correct, entering colleges are very difficult, Without a bachelor degree, salary could be low, then how can the guys date girls then with low salary? wihout a bachelor degree, how can women be indepedent without good salary?? in west, paremts are kids are not close to each other, parents dont need to buy house for kids, kids dont need to take caee of parents when they need. parents even die alone without anybody know.
Dont use western standard as universal standard, your parents just dont really care about you, if you get married or not, happy or not, it is your business not your parents' business.
I have never heard parents dont allow kids to date in university, before university, it is common and correct. dating in highschool would ruin the person's future and waste the person's time.
In China, parents take respisbilties for kids' future.
@@lexlayabout5757 Also, I believe people in China who date in highschool, they will be end up being leftover men or leftoverwomen after highschool due to low salaries, no degree. Unless their parents are freaking rich.
In the main, for Chinese, it's about the money, status, connections and what can you do for me.
So cold and loveless.
Same is true for American women. Result of capitalism.
“It’s even hard to find a real friend here, not to mention love.” GOSH-THIS IS JUST SO INCREDIBLY SAD AND HUMILIATING sounding!!!! 😢why do even I feel so FLUSTERED, FRUSTRAITED, and even PRESSURED by this idealism? This CANNOT be right, it cannot be LOVE....🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤭
The curse of economic prosperity. Your job makes you think you are more valuable than you really are.
You should know.
Shouldn't you?
And not havinh a job can make people believe theyre worth less than they are
@Suzukisan
Useless people have jobs???
EXPLAIN THAT 1...
If they have jobs that makes growth, then how are they useless?
You sound like a shity person yourself..
None of us are important unless we are loved I do not mean just marriage but family. None of us should be second-class citizens or thought of as an asset. Love is give and take. Real partners do not die for the ones they love. Rather they live for the ones they love. Unless both genders can understand this our world is doomed.
Marry for love only, don't listen to your parents, it's your life, not theirs.
Chinese don't recognize "Love", only infatuation. They might be right.
that word love dont exlist anymore
it all about that money and power
Love never existed you dumbass. Well not between a man and women it does not. But family yes but im not going to start a family with someone i hate
Most Chinese rely on their parents financially, so have no choice but to follow parents’ words.
@@uropy Well grow up!! You are an adult now.
This video was in my CZcams recommended page...
This video is very insightful, and outlines the creation of an enormous tragedy.
What women have, in China, is all the wants, of any woman anywhere.
Their parents and extended families are still functioning in Mandarin hierarchy, with little concern for their daughters’ overall wellbeing. It is obvious that what motivates mothers and grandparents, is THEIR reputation, within THEIR social strata. Their daughters are a mechanical lever, to fulfill the family’s position in the larger extended structure.
The daughters aren’t really cared about, in a personal way, and all of that generates enormous pressure on daughters. They feel responsible for furthering the family goals, while discarding their own egos to please everybody but the person they see in the mirror.
And they launch out upon everyone around them, because they don’t like their reflection. The man who might be otherwise please-able by these women, never see these daughters for the women they can be under other circumstances, because these women cannot escape their own history, tradition and family connections.
This tragedy is ongoing, and will have horrible consequences.
And then there are the 20% surplus male population, that has many of the same problems, indicators, and consequences.
One wonders when critical mass will be reached, not if...
It would be epic if these so call "left over women" found friendship within each other, they all seem like they would understand each other and give good support
How to impress a guy on a first date:
"I have a PhD"
Trust me, guys couldn't give a rat's arse about PhD. Guys only care if you have big b00bs and nice toush and slim waist and nice face.
Unfortunately a good figure and bright smile would influence guys more than a PhD !
@@johnballard6725 I've known PhDs with a good figure as well. They are not mutually exclusive.
Because we're not gold diggers. We want to actually love someone.
China: Lets roll out this 1 child policy
Chinese people: "**aborts baby girls in favor of sons**
China: Aight lets lift this policy we don't have enough girls
Chinese people: wHeRe HaVe AlL tHe WoMeN gOnE?
China: **surprised Pikachu face**
Also China: "Leftover Women"
This makes me so mad as an Asian female. Still remember my grandmother telling me to stop reading and start cleaning because being smart won't amount to anything 🙃 because girls need to know how to cook and clean and find a good (rich) husband. Wtf. Never had the sweet grandma relationship I hear about. Nope. Not me. Same messaging from parents and brother and they wonder why I had depression? If you don't feel any type of self-worth because ppl who are supposed to love and protect you (family) at least from what I've read and seen in TV, constantly tell you you are worthless.
Many men want a smart woman, myself included. Beauty fades. Brains hopefully will not.
"Tolerating with loneliness is much better than marrying an ass"
YES‼
Ziaty A.T you hvnt marry yet how do u know u already married an ass...lol..men dictates who to marry..if women let to decide they will die alone
Ziaty A.T loneliness is not so bad I've felt it for years not being able to to find the right woman that is not an ass . one day she will come I believe. maybe the day you read this she will come .
Wren Linnet Even thats the case, women asking for marriage wud be more impossible lol
None of those "dating info" posters had pictures... They're shopping for spouses but don't care if they look like a dragon, they're just interested in data like age, height and income... how freaking sad.
It's like that in the West
Accent on "Income".
nobody care, overthere they all look the same (for the same weight and . . . tallness?) cause of low gene diversity in the population.
for exemple an european can't tell the difference between them, they sure can find differnece in "our" faces , because big things change from person to person cause of high gene diversity (high variety of places to adapt to, then war and raid (loot and rape(old one not the weak one of today)) to spread diference in gene therefor, looks
Seen one...
@@allananonimozeta9345 seen them all
For the women who reside in cities rather than rural areas, *trying to stand out* could help. Some men, including Asian men, *prefer women with a unique, individual style,* even though their cultures are group-think and standing out is frowned-on. Possessing *interesting education, skills, abilities, hobbies,* etc. can help as well.
Oh..please in CHina there is 30-40 million more men. These leftover women just have super high standards. It's not about love it's about status and wealthy.
and looks...because the men MUST be 1.75 m or above..LOL
Those leftover Chinese men are losers that are desperate for a wife 😂😂😂
A poem titled 'The Joy.'
The joy the boy sees
Is in the face of the girl
From her day.
Time moves all along for both to share.
When their lives endures the spark
The two savor that time.
Joy & spark are forever one.
I honestly don't understand why people think they can't be happy being single. The outer world is a reflection of your inner world, if you are at peace with yourself, you need nobody to make you happy. I'm a 31 y.o brazilian guy and I'm happy being single!
I think some of these sheng nv women are ok. Not those who think they are too good for anyone though. That literature professor explained the situation pretty well I think. People in China are just treated as commodities, if they don't meet certain criteria they have zero value. I often heard my fellow laowai friends in China say "men are nothing here if they don't have a house and car". Women are considered to be useless if they are over 27, unmarried, or in their thirties, divorced with a kid. It's quite a fucked up situation. I think foreigners are the way to go for these leftover women. Just don't have unrealistic expectations of your foreign husband. Be prepared to rent and have a minimalist lifestyle. If you can really do that he will love and respect you, if you are truly not materialistic. I'm MGTOW but if I was one of these sheng nv women I'd look for a Western husband, not hard to find foreign men interested in older Chinese women.
I'm from Morocco (african culture) and there's something I don't understand about mgtow.
Many people who are like you keep bashing women in their thirties but here, men seem more "tolerant"... so what's the real issue!? Do you have a problem with western women!?
Trust me. I am a man in America. You girls (Chinese in this video) are so cute, so pretty. You are not too old. Here in America you would not be looked at strangely at all. You all are very young and beautiful. Be happy. Don't worry. Marry for love.
They say they want love, in reality, they have high hypergamous standards for their man. They wouldn't marry someone who makes less than them.
That feels really inappropriate to think your parents give out your personal info to random people in hopes of you getting a date. Usually, you talk to the person first and then give them your number.
_Usually_ ? There is no "Usually". Maybe usual for you, but not for many others. I never met any girl that way, partly because at any function I went to the girls were outnumbered by men at least 4:1 and there are always more charming guys around than me. Girls just ignored me because I wasn't loud and funny. If I'd tried giving them my number they would have told me to stuff it.
Excellent video, and informative based on the importance of personality development.This exposes the foundation for successful marriage and not fairy tale dreams based on greed and obsession with material possessions.When the money is gone all is left is insecurity due lack of personality development.Then divorce is inevitable due to a false sense of security.
She didn't want to "lower" her standards but expects that men to lower theirs.
Left over women?
I thought there where a million too many men.
thats feminism or gynocentrism for you, depending on how you view things.
In China, there are about 30 million men who cannot get married because of the gender selective abortions over the years of the 1 child policy. Add to that the 'left over women' problem and we will probably see a reduction of population in 30 years.
There is but most men there aren't worth marrying. You can thank sex selective abortion for that.
@Jael S to be so young and ready for the plantation call marriage.
It's got to do with age and children. Once a women hits thirty, the chances a baby is born with birth defects starts to rise at an alarming rate. Odds of difficulty with carrying and delivering the baby increases as well. As you can see from the video, a major, if not the major, reason to marry in China is to have a family. If a women is near thirty, then there is increased odds the family won't happen, thus making those women less desirable or "leftover". My guess is they don't refer to me as leftover as they can still contribute healthy sperm well past thirty. That and men can still provide and protect for a family at that age.
These women have every single right to be picky. Why would a woman with a degree who worked so hard to be rich and successful marry a poor man who would just be wasting her money and wealth while giving nothing or very little in return? Nothing wrong with being single either.
I don`t think they know what LOVE is.
Baby don’t hurt me, baby don’t hurt me, no more
No, I don't know why you're not fair
I give you my love, but you don't care
That "dating corner" isn't much different from dating apps in which you describe yourself, and I see nothing wrong with it. For many of us it is the only way to meet people, and it is ONLY a start. Once you meet a person that way you only then decide whether to continue with them or not. My mother said (in effect) I ought only meet girls I already knew, but as I knew no girls already that advice was bullshit, but it's what the girl @7:10 is saying too.
All the girls they talked to were pretty. China’s lucky because In America we’d be more than happy to take girls 25-30 and marry them, because the majority of us are open minded caring people, not cold.
I was married for 30 years of hell and loneliness but now I am FREE to do what I want when I want and I am happy though I did not think I would be.
From my personal experience, most Chinese women don't really believe in love but insist they do. Love for them means convenience, they love a man only if he meets a list of strict requirements, if one requirement is missing, love is finished as if nothing ever happened. Top on the list a man that makes more money than his woman and is willing to change his lifestyle to meet hers, never the other way around.
Wakeup To Reality so true
Wakeup To Reality Hypergamy & Briffault's Law condensed.
Esther Villar's "The Manipulated Man" & Lawrence Shannon's "The Predatory Female" describe "The Chameleon Syndrome" very well. A good example of this is the supposed Redpilling of Laci Green.
But, they think like that because they've been programmed the patriarchal way for thousands of years (that "top on the list a man that makes more money than his woman", does not originate in the female's mind). It's the millenary patriarchal programing of society at large.
Peter Cuban I think it's more biology than actual indoctrination (social construct).
Peter Cuban I’m sorry but matriarchy then is responsible for making man be the last to leave a sinking boat or to have to pay for child support. You can play the blame game it’s not going to end. Fact is these woman are not qualified enough to attract the level of man they desire. That’s why they are “leftover”. There are “leftover” man as well but they are not discussed because the “social construct” prevents their story from being regarded as relevant.
"Leftover women" -- what we in the west used to call "old maids."
Where the women with advanced degrees are concerned, in modern western societies there is something called "hypergamy" in which the women will not allow themselves to marry below their "station," status, or level of education.
It seems that in the "modern society" we live in, following social rules and standards are more important than people... we're more married to our societies than we are to each other.
"I have a PhD"
If you want things like this to stop, stop blaming and shaming men for everything. And instead, help them. If you want to be with a rich guy, go be with a guy and help him with that goal.
The thing is this. Evolution gave every woman the power that can make a man shine brighter then the sun or fade to oblivion. As every man has a desire that is hard coded in him to form a close bond with a woman. And the problem we have today is that the men of this world are shamed into expecting something in return, so they quit and do their own thing.
So, to any woman that reads this, please go and help your men, they need you.
individualism (good) > collectivism (bad)
@krs krs ok boomer
Balance between the two of them is better. A completely individualistic society is just as bad.
There more left over men, why cant they just hook up? Not everyman can be MBA Grad, Own a home in the city, and a luxury German Car.
Do anyone there marry because of love?
Even if you know this is how it is in certain parts of the world, it's still odd that someone would marry for any other reason that that they really like the other person - a lot.
Helen E, unfortunately "love" is not a good measuring stick if you go by the experience in the west. 50% of "love" marriages end in divorce. Go figure.
Helen E Did. But then it failed terribly.
Yes....How are you Helen
- Vajradatta - I doubt it’s because of love it’s just that in the West it’s easy to divorce, it’s more accepted. While it’s not acceptable in the rest of the world, so people put up with their marriage.
that shouldnt be such a topic. no one gets harmed
Once they become leftovers they can work in Karaoke bars and massage parlors.
It takes about 5 years from the time a man and woman start dating, to the point where they start to have babies. Since a woman starts to have serious medical problems if she tries to give birth to a child after the age of 37 that means that when the women pass the age of 32 she is not considered worth DATING for the intentions of marriage by most men. I don't understand why women cannot seem to understand this biological fact about life??? I wanted to have children when I was 40 and other women were asking me why wasn't I dating women who were my age or maybe a bit older ??? They could not seem to understand that once a woman hits menopause, she cannot give birth anymore.
A friend of mine is not so good looking and has an avarage education. Her parents are normal people, not wealthy. She's married with 3 kids. I asked her how she found her husband. She said, she didn't do anything.Her mother and herself were busy cooking dinner, when her brother showed up. He said, he brought home a friend from his sport-team.She married that friend 5 years later, when she turned 30. They saved for a modest wedding and the first 3 rent-payments of their flat.
These women are beautiful.I like the PhD girl a lot, so positive
One is 26 she looks older then me by 15 years.
Never mind i saw her in better lighting she looks about her age just not with that Steelers Jersey on and that livingroom lighting
Hold both your hands up!
On one hand, leave 5 digits This represents the words of congratulation for your BOY baby.
On the other just the 2... These represent the words of sadness and forgiveness at your having a GIRL baby!
WE HAVE A GIRL BABY!!! Well, she is 10 this year and we love her always.
US? We met online in 2004. Lily was 38 and SINGLE? Me WESTERN and 45!!
At that point had not heard of Leftover WOMEN.
I was just IN LOVE WITH THIS WONDERFUL GIRL!!!
David and Lily 14 years of love this year!!!!!
steamsearcher Congratulations David and Lily! Can you tell me what website you used to meet? I'd like to try it myself. The world is too big to just look in my city.
I wants to marry with Chinese girl help me..
Did you guys have the baby through ivf?
@@ID_iKONIC_VIP NO just naturally. Katie is now 14.
@@steamsearcher oh wow. What a blessing. Hope my question wasn't offensive. I'm trying but no luck and am Asian similar age to when you met your wife so was curious for myself. Thank you for the reply!
Everybody be worried about the problems but won't try to work toward a solution. Nobady perfect I feel nowadays, people are too worried about tomrrow then today and make their own barriers.
Beats online dating any day. Keep the old tradition keep it 80s.
Jon Can, this is Wat I always said, a $100 cert, but a 10¢ brain. Lol hahahahaha haha.
That one lady is a Steeler's fan :0
Can't this be done online?
Are You chinese?
What I get from this video is that China is going through some major cultural changes, as old customs are clashing with new ones. Older, more conservative views on marriage were not that different a few decades ago in North America and Europe.
I agree. I was caught in the change in Western culture when I was in my 20's.
If you wear Pittsburgh Steelers shirt, you are almost guaranteed to walk in the shadows alone.
Ahaha. Not true there are tones of Steelers fan and they are very loyal. More like if she wears a Patriots jersey then she cannot be trusted.
Oh wow. How intriguing...
Zhongguo wuo aini. Greetings from Amsterdam
its basically tinder or any other dating site on paper for old people.
There are MANY Nigerian men looking for wives, especially ones with a PhD and a thriving career...Somebody hook these ladies up with an African Prince..
lol
They don't want dark meat....lol
Parcel them to wakanda
@@tom11zz884 you meant ....dark skin.
Send one to the UK! I'm a lonely soul.
I have seen other similar videos and the summary always the same: these leftovers only want to get the 1-5% of the people with high income, with car and big house, and if they can't get these targeted people, they rather don't want anybody else. Well it is their own problem I think, now I understand what did the woman mean when she said "ass", she ment not rich people basically. But it is not only an asian tendency, many european countries have people with same mentality, if somebody has just even an average job with average income, they are considered as boring people, beause they can't pay for the highest quality cars, restaurants, hotels, luxury trips and so on.
the requirement that stuck with me is the tall man thing. a tall man in asia? why not just taller than her
Don't know what part of Europe you are talking about, it's a big place... perhaps Bavaria specifically, or the city of St. Petersburg?
This is really sad....
If she can cook and won't cheat and is not materallistc don't matter what nation she is but it would be hard to find
@Bill Blount, *Many* North American and Caribbean women *of African descent* would fit that bill, as well as putting *their all* into their significant relationships, *being very supportive* and *loving,* and are *looking.*
Some women of *Indigenous North American* and *Mexican* descent as well.
learn to cook yourself
Jay cringe
Some Chinese woman are so loving and caring ...
DONT feal Lonely 😞 it’s better to be lonely
That to have a life of abuse
Go out went you want come back wen u want eat wen you want
Have friends that are true
And most of all love God who surly loves you . You can be married and still be lonely
Like myself .😢but I keep busy in serving God and loving others
I hope something better for you comes along the way
My friend's wife is Chinese . She was left by a tree as a baby and brought to an orphanage . She was adopted by white Americans and raised here in Ohio . It is interesting to see her behavior because it is encoded in her even though she has never been there as an adult to experience it . She is driven by Asian culture as a whole even though she has no memory of being there . And she is so racist that it cracks me up .
The chick with the Steelers jersey can be my wife
She is ugly asf man...lmao
Hoss Delgado Just because she likes the Steelers?
I notice that too... but she's probably 40 or something
Mid 20s? That's like only a few years after graduating college.
Ok, ok! Tell that PHD lady to message me.
I feel terrible seeing this
Who should have to "Rent" a boyfriend and what kind of soulless male would ever do that??
Word to the wise ladies. Travel abroad. Lots of great guys around the world to be had ;)
Hear hear. That's why I live in the U.S., away from all that BS!
The narrator is hard to understand and needs to be subtitled too.
i regularly try to date older women or who are smarter then me or make more money then i do the problem is they aren't attracted to me #1 i don't make more money then they do #2 i don't look good #3 i have a bad job
i stopped looking at women my age years ago as they are much stricter and much more blunt and insulting about it either that or they are too naive to know what a real relationship is about not knowing what is expected from a wife or thinking that inevitabilities such as fighting and compromise lead to the end of a relationship
what's worse is dating outside of my country is impossible as everyone is racist or whatever the equivalent of that is for americans on top of that dating outside my race is difficult in fact nearly impossible because of how women of other races treat white men (and other people will call me racist for saying that but when women do it they get to say it's a preference) dating outside of my state is more possible but still difficult as over 50 miles (80km) is considered too difficult and or inconvenient for someone to travel to meet me and sadly i can't afford to make the trip myself
dating with in my state has proved difficult mostly because of women's expectations and religion looking at the numbers there are apparently very few women in my town or at least ones that are looking for a relationship to begin with (that's why i had to go out of town then out of state and even farther)
what most people don't see is that as a man you aren't even really considered a man until you have a family in the eyes of many men women and sometimes the government itself only being given health benefits and other assistance when you have kids
to prove that point if i had just said forget about doing the right thing and had a kid with my ex we would have gotten a government hand out both of us would have gotten free health care and other things but we didn't want to do that
all of this affects my health and well being because i hear your not happy if your not married you're not a real man until you have a family if you don't have at least a wife there must be something wrong with you or you must be gay
not only that but the health benefits of being in a happy healthy relationship are so highly lauded that my life expectancy just got cut another four years
so i'm more than willing to bet if there are women who really want a relationship they can find one even tho they might have to compromise on something
Alexander Madwrite so sorry to hear your story but it is almost a nature of woman to fall for a man who is stronger than her physically and mentally, a woman loves a man who is smarter than herself.
Alexander Madwrite , exactly my friend this video is a lie. These women wont settle. Which is fine, but then they have to spew this fake feminist propaganda about not finding a man. In China 120:100 M:F ratio of young ppl if. You cant get a man in china its coz you dont want to.
I'm a Chinese Canadian woman with a master's degree and a well-paying job, married to a much younger Caucasian man who is less "educated" and makes significantly less money than me. I have enough money, so I don't need someone else to provide that. I married him for his devotion and his values. We met through political activity; no dating apps for me--I didn't want any desperate men. Women can smell desperation a mile away. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend because he casts a wide net; he'll have anybody with a pulse, and I was just filling a position. I felt like he just wanted a girlfriend, not necessarily me. My husband and I were already prepared to live single lives before we met. So when he chose me, I knew that he saw something special in me, and that I wasn't just filling a position.
@@atlasstargazer He's probably cheating on you with a woman his age and using your money and the money he's making on her.
@@moontears3887 What you choose to ass-u-me about people you've never met is your business. I choose to judge people as individuals based on evidence rather than ass-umptions about categories. However, I can't force that logic on anyone else.
I can't believe a girl who is a Steelers fan would have any trouble getting married.
I would like to get to know one of them for I love Chinese culture food and children very much
i'm a 29 year old single woman, definitely left over shengnu ahahahaha yeh most of my friends are married I'm the only single person in my group of friends
marbletrouble hi where are you
Look to marry a handsome white guy with a big dick. Not a rich one, just a guy who wants to rent a hose with you ( you pay half ) and you have an equal relationship. Yes, those conditions are not suitable for you, lol!
+SBG Aussie MGTOW, Silverboy
I'm sorry you have such hatred towards me. Somehow it seems like i've offended your delicate sensibilities by simply stating my gender and singledom. You don't know me and I've never met you, let alone hurt you. It boggles me why as a self declared MGTOW why you spend your days picking fights with women online?
No hatred toward you at all in fact. That was mean't to just be a bit of fun. I don't hate women. I've been married to a Thai girl before and I've had two Chinese GF's, one 28 and one 38. Most MGTOW don't hate women. It may interest you to know that I have lived in China before and I speak Chinese so I know about this topic. My advice to you as a leftover is in fact deadly serious: Possibly you have more realistic expectations of men, I don't know, not this "buy me a house", "buy me a car" nonsense most Chinese women go on about.
+ SBG Aussie MGTOW, Silverboy
You're what, 60+ years old? Old enough to be the father of the women you date. I always find it bizarre and somewhat alarming when older white guys get asian girlfriends half their age or younger. I am australian as well, an ABC actually. Recently saw an episode of insight on SBS where lonely aussie men would "order" chinese/vietnamese brides online, who were inevitably much much younger. Jenny brockie just appeared baffled and all the white women in the audience looked concerned. Many of the couples weren't that happy and my impression was that the women were used as servants - to cook and care for the blokes, while the men resented their wives' poor integration into western society. While I commend your interest and investment in chinese culture, it doesn't seem to me that your romantic choices in life have resulted in happiness for you given your MGTOW status. You sound bitter and disappointed about your previous girlfriends and their materialistic demands. To be honest you're not in a position to offer me any advice. I don't have unrealistic expectations and I've turned down many a wealthy suitor, white or otherwise. My main issue is I'm not heterosexual, and I see myself as an aromantic asexual. Men bore me. Sex and romance don't appeal to me. I'm like a female MGTOW. Going my own way, and I hate it when my parents/extended asian family pressure me by calling me a shengnu. it frustrates me that my worth as a woman is determined by marriage and childbearing. I have no desire for either. But tell that to my chinese mum who said "the only reason we sent you to university was to find a good husband and you're a failure in life now". It doesn't matter to my family that i'm a successful doctor with houses, car, cash, freedom to do what I want. If I am husbandless at my age I am worthless by default. Yay. Go Chinese culture! What a progressive and inclusive way of thinking.
nope, I don't want to get married anymore
good video
mid 20's??? I'll take 4 please!
If lonely, get a cat or three ;)
There are so many things to enjoy in life without marriage. Also, by not marrying and rearing a child, you could save a lot of money, and use that money to take care of yourself when you get old. No need for family.
The problem is that everyone wants everything and marriage is like online shopping nowadays you are buying a product not a life partner in old days people worked on their marriage nowadays couples don't even try
If there is more single men than single women how can there be a high number of leftover women? Something doesn't add up. Are the women too picky? Is it possible they're too worried about wealth and status?
Because they'd rather have their own life rather than being a guy's unpaid maid and brood mare.
Shinethelight : Well, there are a lot of poor men in China. It’s natural for a female to look financial security in a partner because she wants to know he will be able to care for her and their future children.
Money should always be a consideration in romance but the problem now lies in their expectations. As a woman rise in status and income, the pool of men who is higher than them gets smaller.
That’s where the issue lies.
I’m not saying a woman should have no standards and marry a dirt poor man but not every man is going to have a house, a car, and be working in a Fortune 500 company.
When you add physical characteristics (age, height, skin tone, etc), then it becomes even more difficult to find that special someone.
@@niloufark1003 nah bitch, well China deserve the shit they have now. The country will soon go back to the stone age anyway.
Lin Bin explained it in a Chinese man's perspective. From the perspective of a former leftover woman, Chinese men are not comfident enough to be with those women with a higher academic degree or higher income because of the conventional opinion of gender-related social order like the video says. They tend to marry women less than them. As a result, the most capable women and the least capable are "left over". Of cause the two groups of people wouldn't match.
Another reason is that Chinese men in general, like men in many cultures, see women as reproduction machines. Thus older women, say above 28, in men's opion, have less chance to give birth to children, not speaking of precious sons who could carry on family lineage, and are much less desirable.
Both of the above phenomena root in the sexist tradition in Chinese culture.
I can not speak for all the "leftover women" in China, but as for me and my single female friends, we are merely looking for mentally matured men who we can have meaning conversation with, similar family background and equivalent financial status. The reality is, the later two standards are not that hard to meet, but as for interllectual level (not necessarily connected to diploma)... it's almost impossible, as no matter how "great" some men are, all they care about is promotion, stock market, and having a pretty heifer to bear a calf. And, thanks to the One Child Policy, Chinese men born after 1978 are so spoild by their parents that they expect future wives can take care of them like their mothers do. >__> A female single child, on the other hand, is taught by their parents that she is no difference than a boy, and usually would turn out to be an independent woman. Why would such a woman be willing to have a "huge baby" tagged along when she is fine living her own life?
BTW, there are more male than female in China is because parents prefer boys. Out side of big cities, parents would kill or abandon the new born baby girls.
291 subscribers, over 1k comments. Wow
Most of the problems are caused by media. Every show, tv series, movie shows successful, top model, damn rich people with perfect manner, then people think well they need those people too in their own life, they are definitely there, just hard to find, but at the end they have realize it was a dream, then it will be late, because nobody wants them in their old age, until they kept dreaming. Same happens with the migration. Migrants only see the good side of rich countries and they think people barely need to do anything to get so rich in western countries, but when they have finally arrive to the country, they get disappointed, because they don't get what they have seen on TV or Internet.
The advertising part with the signs was cringy..
Chrismas Cake 🤣🤣🤣
It’s already an evolution from the old tradition. That is pre-arranged marriage by parents. This is not unique. When more women are better educated, they are choosy, but too picky; then she might end up alone. If she can accept that then there is nothing wrong. The worst scenario is end up as mistress to some successful men. Then just another old tradition.
10:41 "Being single is awful, but I'm accustomed to this life already". That pretty well sums it up. I was in the same situation. I was the man who no woman wanted, and I spent many lonely years single for lack of choice. The difference is, I did something about it. I took my search for love overseas while I was still young enough. Not that it was easy - far from it. It took six years' work between when I first wrote to a girl in the Philippines to when I got married. It didn't get given to me on a plate - I really had to work hard for it, both physically and emotionally. Was it worth it? Absolutely! I wouldn't trade for anything. We celebrated our 20th Wedding Anniversary last year.
So the question I would like to ask these women is: How much effort are you putting into finding love? It doesn't get given to you on a plate - you have to earn it. There are no guarantees that you will find love no matter how hard you try, but one thing IS guaranteed: If you do nothing, that is exactly what you will get: nothing.
congratulations on your anniversary. like what you said, you improved at the speed of life, they probably only reduce an unreasonable requirement from their checklist behind the speed at which their life is going. time is of the essence, its about whether you are getting wise quick enough, you took radical measures, some of them act like they are models, the men they want have a choice two notches of beauty above them. they are not self aware. moving to another country is a pretty good idea, especially one not as economically developed for a man, its an all round bargain, even the housing there may be cheaper
@@crimsonite1524 You certainly speak the truth. During my long lonely years of forced singleness, I often heard messages along the lines of "Women want men to be romantic towards them, to love and respect them for who they are, regardless of their looks or bank balances". Reality was quite different. As far as I'm concerned, such messages are just empty words, and - without being backed up by action - little better than lies. Apparently men aren't allowed to judge women by the size of their breasts or bank balances, but women ARE allowed to judge men by the size of their bank balances and their looks. It was this double standard that I was up against. China doesn't have a monopoly on that by any means!
And do you know, around the time I got married, a lot of local women used to whine at me, "Why a Filipina? What's wrong with New Zealand girls?" They were obviously thinking of this Mail Order Bride from the Philippines myth, and that I didn't want New Zealand women. In fact, the opposite was true - it was New Zealand women who didn't want me!! And then they had the cheek to wonder why I looked elsewhere!?!?
And here I see these Chinese women doing little or nothing about finding love, expecting some ridiculously rich, ridiculously handsome Prince to be given to them on a silver platter! No prizes for guessing that I have absolutely zero sympathy for them.
women dont put any effort, all they do is wait til someone approaches them. men have to do all work, approach, take them on date, take relationship to next level. during any of this effort, woman can say no and end relationship. it is alot of work for the guys, but basically zero effort from women.
@@edgehodl4832 Indeed. I had already been bitten by that. So when I started writing to my wife, I couldn't believe my luck. Here was someone who wanted it to work just as much as I did, and was prepared to put in the hard yards to make it work. I was putting in all this effort, and giving all this love, and for the very first time in my life, it was all coming back. She had had the same problem I had had - nobody wanted her in her own country, so she tried overseas. That resulted in disappointment after disappointment after disappointment - until one day, just out of the blue, a letter arrived from this chap from New Zealand. We clicked very quickly, and our long-distance relationship (of 11 months) was so good, that I had no hesitation in proposing to her two days after we physically met. That was back in June 1999. We married in New Zealand that September. We're still married today.
I think that one reason our relationship worked is that both of us really really wanted it to work. We were both prepared to invest ourselves into making it work. We still have that attitude today. We still earn each other's love.
The thing with these women in the video is, for them, it's all take, take, take, and no give. The men have to conform to THEIR standards - no word whatsoever about them contributing to the relationship. Not that China has any monopoly on that. I've seen enough of that here.
Well said. Try u'll get anything
This is the opposite of Japan
And in exsample , Chinese girl finds boy taller then her , better paying job, and nice home and car , they get married, what happens if the boys job is out of bussiness. Do they divorce then ?
what if they marry a foreigner for example a European whilst a broad ?
The "European" will never be allowed to be Chinese citizen. China doesn't allow foreigners to immigrate, even if you marry.
ok thats intresting , then may I ask out of curiosity due to strict immigration laws in china would they then be faced with issues such as seeking new citizenship with the country the husband is from and their native china ie would they be thrown out of china as a result and there for be forced to take citizen ship of the country of the husband ie Germany if the husband is from Germany or british if the husband from UK French if they married a frenchmen etc
@@olivermccann8498 China doesn't have dual citizenship. Technically, you can become chinese but they have very complicated demands and it's usually very hard to get it (your european passport is much better honestly, so you don't need their citizenship).
If you have a wife, she can just keep her resident permit going but she can't have a dual citizenship, China doesn't allow it (except for children with specific cases).
@@Ssookawai I see thank you for taking the time to inform me,
That woman in the fooball shirt is clearly a case of too high standards. She is a leftover because no men in the group she deemed desirable picked her.
The woman in the football shirt looks like a Rotten egg which is useless. That's why men throw her in a dustbin. Men always prefer to young women who have fresh mind, supporting tendency, and most importantly they are very loyal at this age and much fertile than the leftover women.
These are natural features and behaviour of the young beautiful girls (around 20 to 26).
But if she is 30+ and unmarried and want to get married but failed due to more picky then all the bizarre behaviour will be visible on her.
Culture pressure vs personal choice.
I'd marry a 28 year old PhD candidate any day of the week. Well, I take that back. I am not 28 anymore.
Any single Chinese with simplicity,Ready to love and build her marriage...Any out here?
What about the leftover men?
I am a middle aged American white male. I would love to have a relationship with a ‘left Over Woman’, but if I did I would be ridiculed by some American women of having an “Asian Fetish”.
If they can date all the black guys they want and not be a black fetish then I say we can date any other race without it being a fetish.
If it is meant to be then it is meant to be; if not then continue to live and love your life. Marriage is not everything, it dont always give you full happiness.
I wants to marry with Chinese girl help me..
They shouldn't called them LEFT OVER these ladies have their reasons to marry. And you can still have children after 30 and more knowledge of taking care of themselves.
1.4 billion Chinese. This really can't be a bad thing for population control. I know that sounds cold. But planet can only sustain so much.
Thanos is the answer to population control
3:51 Why did they show us the person asking the question, and then not showing us the woman answering it? I fear the oriental countries are trying to make documentaries "American Style", which would be a disaster.
I am 44 and divorced. I should feel like a leftover, but I don't. 28 is fucking young!! WTF?! Like the girl said better to tolerate lonelilness than being married to an ass. I agree with her 100%! She couldn't have said it better. Why settle for trash? Better to be alone than with the wrong person. The misogyny is astounding!
Who really needs marriage? I'm not sure who is supposed to benefit.
A successful marriage is the most stable unit for raising good productive children. Children are the future of the country.
Its the 80-20 rule on full display.