After Years of No Contact With His Family, OP Gave Them a Second Chance for Christmas, But They C...
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- čas přidán 15. 04. 2024
- 00:0 1st story:
AITA for still withholding all of the presents I bought for the family because of their pranks? (u/No-Custard1940 in r/AmItheAsshole and r/EntitledPeople)
10:23 2nd story:
AITA for getting my job back to get out of taking care of my husband's autistic niece? (u/basicallyalazyass in r/amitheasshole)
16:48 3rd story:
I (25F) have face blindness, my BF (24M) likes to test me. How do I make it clear this is not okay? (u/ThrowRA_Elisax in r/relationship_advice)
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I swear, pranking is some kind of mental illness.
Only if it's repetitive & by adults. kids pulling a harmless prank now & then is nbd, but beyond that, it's gotta be some kind of personality disorder.
I am not disagreeing with you. For someone to use “pranks” as a way to torment someone else.. that is mentally abusive.
Adults shouldn't be pranking people, and with kids, it depends on the pranks. If it's like a lot of CZcams pranksters today, then yes, it's mental illness.
@@raeishimura if adults are unable to understand prank that is mental illness, its a form of humor nothing more and nothing less. Do you have a life apart from youtube, judging something on the base of people trying to get views to get money is not really objective. Just because some people are tactless or evil doesn't mean a form of humor or anything else is bad. Its them that is bad.
I'm an adult who enjoys a good prank (from either side), but there's a fine line not to be crossed. It's one thing to orchestrate an absurd situation for the sake of humor, and another to use humor as an excuse to manipulate, humiliate or subjugate others. The people who do the latter usually can't even tell that's what they're doing, which is sad... they kind of ruin it for everyone. Tact is required, and many simply lack that.
I've told this story a million times, but one more won't hurt, lol...
In grade school, we had a substitute teacher who was unhinged. She went off on a girl in class who wasn't wearing a bra, and apparently it was a bit chilly in the classroom. Nobody noticed until the teacher made a spectacle of it. Again, grade school... the girls barely even had breasts, it was not an issue until the teacher made it one, and humiliated her. The following day, we stole a box of 100 of those erasers that slide over the eraser already on your pencil (which now that I think about it seems a needlessly redundant innovation). We passed the box around and all pinched the hole on them shut to suction them under our shirts, so it looked like we all had hard nipple poking through our clothes. The substitute teacher absolutely lost their shit... they ended up not ever being called back to the school after that. That was a "good" prank. Yeah, it got someone fired, but they dug their own grave on that one. And in the fallout, the students generally forgot about the girl who had been humiliated originally. It wasn't malicious, just a little "cheeky", that's all... and it was hilarious.
Of course the best part was a classmate who put on 6 erasers instead of two. The substitute was confused "Wait, why do you have six?", and the dude lifts an eyebrow, pulls out the collar of his shirt and peeks downward, and stone-faced he remarks, "Well, I'll be a son of a bitch". Coming from a 12 year old in a class of 12 year olds, that was about the funniest thing we had ever seen until that point. 30 years later, I still laugh at that.
There was a similar one to story 1 where the GF was OP and they gave her nothing but rocks in their gifts but in that one, she didn't take the presents but stormed out and got harassed by her BF and his family for leaving.
I remember that story , I was SO glad that OP decided to step up for herself and but a break to it before the family went batshit crazy
Yeah, I do recall that one, though I remember that it was coal as a running gag even the in-laws were in on, deeming it a right of passage.
That one also reminded me of a third story where an Italian grandma gave the girlfriend (and her grandson/the boyfriend) a nice gift and a little lump of coal as a stalking stuffer. This was from a family tradition as a reflection of our own shortcomings and an encouragement to do better. Everyone else got theirs the day prior, but the gf decided this was sl*t shamıng and said things so vile to the welcoming grandma that her boyfriend broke up with her right then and there.
He missed a great opportunity to let the fart spray loose on them after taking back the gifts and yelling “it’s just a prank”
I thought of the same thing
The real MVP here is OP's girlfriend. She stuck by him through that holiday horror show. If that's not love, I don't know what is.
Story 1 I never understand why does people think they have to be part of someone's life after treating them horrible for years just because they're family. op needs to go nc forever. If he keeps them in his life the only fault if they do it again is on him
Maybe it's a thing (validation? Escape? Or idk the word I'm looking for but maybe someone will know once they read the thing I'm going for) so they can say "hey I did X,Y,Z to my child and they still talk to me and love me so it wasn't THAT bad! They didn't cut me off so im not a horrible person."
Faceblind OP's boyfriend is unhinged. Imagine taking pleasure and amusement in your partner's distress, then getting mad when they want you stop. He's a cruel and twisted jackass.
I live a blissfully peaceful life so when I hear these crazy reddit stories with unhinged relatives, entitled kids, and disloyal evil spouses, I feel like I have temporarily entered the twilight zone. People are bizarre.
Exactly!!!
Sometimes family will treat you worse than a stranger on the street.
Story 1 - Surprised op didn't take the opportunity to tell the family they've all been pranked and their gifts are being donated. So glad op actually went through with giving the expensive gifts away.
Screw all of them. They don't deserve a third chance. Op's girlfriend doesn't need exposure to a second horrible family. The only way to really humble a narcissist is to destroy or humilate them publicly. The highlight here was op's brother getting slapped and would rather get divorced than apologize. That's sad. I don't have that much optimism for op's family.
Story 2 - yeesh. What the heck. It sounds like op's husband volunteered op to look after this teenager and he just wanted the good person points for taking in an autistic orphan. It's pretty obvious his plan was never to look after this girl. Of course HIS family thinks op is the bad guy here. THEY don't want to be inconvenienced. Op's husband is a piece of work having the audacity to ask for another chance after the stunts he pulled. In the end, he was willing to throw his niece away to save his own skin.
Story 3 - "I've been with my boyfriend for a year and I love him dearly-" barf. Stories that start off already having me bracing for the drama. That's not love. This guy is a psycho clearly getting his giggles from making fun of op's condition. Those mind games aren't cute either. I'm not sure what there is to love about this guy. It's the "you can't take a joke" "I thought you were just using that as an excuse to cheat on me" "I have trust issues from bad break ups" the I'm sorrys, I didn't mean it shtick. Nobody needs that drama.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it..
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.
I feel bad for the niece in story 2, she is a victim there
Unfortunately, I have the same issue with my boyfriend. I don’t have the same condition. But I do have pretty severe anxiety and I have realized over the last year or so that he enjoys making me anxious and seeing me upset. I am leaving him at the end of next month once my son is done with school. It’s such a toxic and, yes, ABUSIVE behavior pattern. Why do you want to see someone you claim to love in a panic? Why does that bring you joy and make you smile? That’s psychotic.
Good on you, don't look back!❤️
We are all supporting you her in my house.
I too had to wait it out just a little longer.
I was tough AND 20 years later STILL away from him.
Story #2 - Autistic Niece.
You know how shitty it is when the kids want to get a puppy, and they're going to take care of it. They'll walk it, feed it, clean up after it, train it... for about a week, then the animal is neglected, and someone actually responsible needs to step in to care for it, or it gets taken to a shelter. Abandoned puppies are very sad... Biggest shit heads in the world, right?
Now imagine doing that to an autistic orphan. "I adopted a helpless creature without consulting you, but I promise, I'll take care of everything"..."On second thought, you do it"... "Let's just put her in state care if that's easier". What a douche bag.
The appropriate thing would have been to talk to his partner first, obviously.
IF she agreed, then she returns to her career, and you rework the household finances to hire a caretaker.
Then they both know what they signed on for, they mutually support each other, and bring in outside assistance as needed. That's how a family works. That is not what he did.
And he made this decisions on the heels of OP's miscarriage and a massive career change made for a baby that now will never be. I cannot think of a worse time to pitch this idea. The girl should have been temporarily remanded to a qualified local group home, with regular visits from OP and her Husband and worked up to a point gradually where they were ready to make such a decision. They didn't spare the niece any trauma by jumping the gun on the decision. Quite the opposite.
This is why I hate sencond chances sometimes.
Op's family wasted their chance
I know those tablet combo DVD players. I bought one last year as a birthday gift for my eldest nephew, and he uses it a lot
You're a decent human being. You gave them a third chance hopefully they won't blow it. Good luck to you and your girlfriend
Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me.
I wish OP kept up no-contact, and I wish SIL followed through with divorcing brother.
You know what they say. Fool me once…
Last story: I can't relate to OP's condition at all. She's done great developing "markers" for recognition. I really can't relate to OP's BF (ex). Testing her,GTFO. Talk about a trash BF. He probably has tried to set her up with another man. At least he's history. She can go on to find a good Man/Woman.
Greedy? It's OP the one who bought it lol
A prank is only funny if everyone is laughing.
S1: NTA, but you really should have known that they were not going to change.
I would have told them the presents that I said were for you were all one big prank.
There was a good reasons you went NC and once again they FAFO.
Face blindness is so completely not funny. I remember being 5 or 6 and at my brother's football game when my mom told me to go over to my dad... I wasn't certain that it was him until he crossed his arms and looked annoyed.
If someone decided to 'test' me? I'd be SO done with them!!! I tell people apart by the way they smell... I know that it sounds crazy? But in some ways it's sort of a Superpower (I have many MANY Useless Superpowers - NONE of which generate revenue. Part of life's cruel sense of humor. 🙄), for example - my kids could never fake being sick because I could smell the difference when they actually were. (They HATED that, but at least it made them very honest with me.)
Idk if anyone else has trouble with following the storyline in movies? It was probably 10x in watching the new Top Gun movie that I realized that 'Bob' and 'Rooster' are different people. (Yes, I know that it's a different name... I thought that it was a character arc or something. I get A LOT of things wrong. 😂) I once tried to watch 'The Departed' and had to take a xanax and go lie down after 20 minutes of total Hell; it has nearly every pair/trio of 'That Guy or That Other Guy' that I just can't deal with. Lol!!!
Dang… I dont think I have face blindness, but I do have very poor eyesight. Though I do think I could possibly have a lower form of it? Or maybe I just have an absolute terrible memory for some people that I dont interact with on a semi regular basis. XD
I hate when someone recognizes me, but I cant recognize them. Haha.
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist
I understand the ambiguities, trust me! In my grandmother's generation, 3 siblings from one family married 3 siblings from another. To compound the issue, they were Catholic and had a billion kids; genetically their children were more like siblings than cousins. Family Reunions were unbelievably stressful!!!
It's a joke in my family that I couldn't do a police sketch of my own kids - I once made an Avatar of my daughter by using another phone open to a photo of my her........ This was after she sent me a photo of her husband's grandmother when she lived in Scotland. I asked her if she got her hair cut, then tried to tell her that I knew all along it wasn't her... Nope. Didn't work. 😂
@@anastasiabeaverhausen8652
Dang… I’m definitely glad I dont have massive family like that.
I think I’d hate it. I love my family, but events stress me out sometimes.
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist
One of my first memories of a Family Reunion:
I (4F) walk up to my Grandma and say 'Hi, Grandma!'
Grandma's response? 'I'M NOT YOUR GRANDMA!!!'
😳
Me: *Thinking* Oh! Thank God!!!
I apologized and thought 'Ooooookaaaayyyyy, then who the eff ARE you?!'
I told my Dad (maybe an uncle? Could have been a chair........)
Anyway, I was told by someone that it was my Great Aunt Marie. Grandma's sister. Also her sister in law.
My kids LOVE their grandparents, and for the life of me I have never understood why.
Then again, my life can be summed up with 50+ years of 'Ohhhhhhhh. I didn't get that memo.' It has always seemed like everyone else got this rulebook, and I guess I got in some other line. Probably for carbohydrates.
🤣
@@anastasiabeaverhausen8652 I cannot imagine what it would be like to have prosopagnosia. I have a friend who is face blind, and she recognizes folks by their voice. She's gotten very good at getting people talking so she can ID them.
The brother wife is the part that made me sure it was fake
Story 2: She's a bit too dramatic. She doesn't even try to understand him and expects to have children with him. If the same thing happened to them, she would be the first to run and beg for help. That child has no one but him and of course he will accept her as his own. I understand everything he did, because he must have been broken because he has no support from anyone around him.
Story1: second chances they don't ever matter people never change
By that I mean drastic change like a whole transformation into a new person only happens when they get close to or are dying Tis just thyne truth.
Just Google the DVD tablet they do exist and thay about 100 bucks
Fool me once
You know a prank gift is fine if you have an actual gift to give them after the prank gift is opened. Otherwise you're just being obnoxious a-hole
I was on OP's side until he said "niblings" UGH
What's wrong with that
Story 2 both people was in the wrong The husband in the wrong for taking on responsibility that he couldn't do The wife is in the wrong because why did you expect different when this kid disabled she should have known she was going to take on a good chunk of the responsibilities
Yh but normally autistic ppl don't throw plates at u and make u bleed just because they have autism doesn't give them the right to be THAT entitled plus the husband said he would take like full responsibility so yh nta on op part
Story 2: Yes, she is an a-hole. She's using a previous trauma as an excuse to dismiss the needs of her partner of 16 years and a special needs girl. Also, he is an asshole, for trying to be controlling, manipulative, and impulsive on major decisions without including her (and for waiting 15 years to marry her ffs...). Everyone is in the wrong. She refused counseling, even after he was willing to do everything possible to make it right. He refused to listen to his wife, even after literally trapping her in a situation he forced upon her, and pushed her away from him. It's just messy, and both of their attitudes only guarantee the mess will continue. LMK if you disagree.
I mean the waiting to marry bit, it could be her, or it could be him? Or it could be both? Marriage takes two people to agree.
I dont think she is an AH honestly, she only states that her father did similar things as far as manipulation? I didnt get the sense she was using her trauma as an excuse, but even so.. its still trauma? Its something that sticks with you, and you cant forget and can make you do illogical things.
The BF decided to take on an autistic kid that he absolutely was not prepared to care for, and did it without discussing it with her.
His heart might have been in the right place, for his neice’s care, but he did not have the resources to handle her, and did try to just expect his GF to do everything, using the “Oh she will be a housewife anyway!” Type of logic I bet.
You dont just make life changing decisions like taking in a kid, without talking to your partner, much less a high maintenance special needs kid. I probably would have left a bit earlier than she did honestly.
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist Admitting she has trauma, but refuses seeing a therapist. I'm drawing attention to the irony in that as an unhealthy step for her to make, regardless of the context.
She has potentially (likely) not been making the best decisions for herself, and pushed her husband out of her life without seeking professional help to make sure her judgement wasn't (still) clouded. She dismissed everything her husband offered, without looking at them objectively. It doesn't need to be said why the husband was an AH, but I do think it's fair to say that she was an AH as well (not even acknowledging that his grief could have easily clouded his judgement and made him act irrationally).
Even if in a lesser capacity, even if justified, she needs help to end this cycle in her life. Otherwise, she's betting on cosmic forces to take over and pave the way moving forward.
@@ginganinja411
Not everyone needs or wants to see a therapist, she likely feels she is doing okay.
Some people like to deal with things their own selves.
Alright so... first post no updates so far into the video - I have no idea what happens.
So far I'm not a fan of OP. He gets mad at silly string and dollar gifts aren't enough for him? Let's see what happens.
They made a clear rule, no pranks on him or his GF.
Its called setting boundaries.
They agreed to it before OP came over, they had a mutual agreement before hand.
Sure on the surface being angry over silly string sounds silly? But they seem to explain they did a lot of other things that upset OP in childhood, whatever those were. If someone pranks you every other day with this or that, it would get old, imagine getting sprayed with silly string every day for example.
“Oh you just got upset over silly string, chill out.”
Eventually enough is enough on the gags.
I thought I was the only thinking Op was the TA. How are you gonna take the gifts back from the kids when they don't understand whats going on.
@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist Silly string is about as much of a prank as confetti poppers are.
Dollar store gifts aren't a prank either... fart spray as a gift is hilarious.
A prank would be spraying a gift with fart spray and saying you've got them a dead animal for a gift as they were halfway through opening it.
I was abused as a kid by people playing pranks on me, not my direct family but local jackasses.
Hearing that they left and took presents with them after silly string and cheap gifts makes me think these people are smooth brained marshmallows who think laughing should be punishable with jail time. Seriously, taking away gifts from children that you brought with you because your gifts aren't nice enough is narcissistic behavior. OP is the asshole, and honestly so are you for enabling that kind of behavior.
"Boundries" just another word for "I need to control everyone around me because I'm insecure."
@@justsomedangerbigfootwithweb Exactly. Great point.
@@benjaminwoodham6682
Alright, so you dont think boundaries should exist?
That if you get with a partner they can flirt or kiss or sex with other people? Those are boundaries in a relationship that you generally agree to not do.
The problem is, the family agreed to the request, in other words they lied! They had no intention of following OP’s requests.
They understood what OP said, but did the one thing they asked them not to do.
You need rules for yourself on what is okay, and what is not, otherwise you become a doormat for people to walk over, and take advantage of.
I was going to believe the first story but soon after the story is now just very stu pid to me and i dont believe it at all thie gake a ss story
How did you edit this comment, but miss every spelling mistake?
Tablets with dvd players? How old is this story?
Story 1: It’s quite infuriating how OP willingly allowed them back into his life despite what they did and yet, they still broke the big rule he wanted them to follow if they truly want him back. Istg how hard it is to not pull any pranks on OP when he literally came back and gave them a 2nd chance after going NC for god knows how long. I don’t see how OP is the AH here, he flat out warned that he’d cut all NC permanently if they tried something again. His family clearly don’t know what a joke or prank even is,
IMO, I doubt his parents even feel sorry for what they did to OP; They clearly were pressed because of the expensive gifts, not because how they treated OP and how they made him feel. What OP’s actions to the gifts weren’t cruel in the slightest; He was equally punishing his entire family for participating and relishing in the “prank”, maybe this could teach his brother’s children not to laugh when pulling a cruel prank on someone after they expressed they did not like it. Though, I’m glad they got their heads out of their asses and open their eyes for once but OP should stay cautious in case they try something. I’m glad OP’s gf stayed by his side and wasn’t those girlfriends who force the boyfriend to reconnect with their god awful families.
The real MVP here is OP's girlfriend. She stuck by him through that holiday horror show. If that's not love, I don't know what is.