Thinking And Feeling ... About Thinking And Feeling (Podcast Ep 293)
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 4. 06. 2024
- Thinking and feeling are important to humans. Thinking and feeling about thinking and feeling is important to anxious humans!
In the world of recovery from disordered or chronic anxiety, what we thinking and feeling about thinking and feeling - our metacognitive beliefs - play an important role in the process but are often overlooked.
This week on The Anxious Truth I'm pretty exhausted so we're going to take a look at that to highlight some important recovery lessons. Why is being so exhausted, drained, and emotional not leading to anxiety and panic? Because my recovery experience taught me a new way to think and feel ... about how I think and feel.
Let's take a closer look at what we think and feel about what we think and feeling. Metacognitive beliefs can sometimes be the glue that keeps us stuck to our symptoms, thoughts, and big emotions. Recognizing when strong beliefs about thoughts and feelings are leading us astray can be an important first step in challenging those beliefs and using the principles of acceptance, tolerance, surrender, and exposure in the recovery process.
For full show notes on this episode including a full transcript:
theanxioustruth.com/293
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Today, as I walked to a store to buy something (I started as completely agoraphobic), on my way back for the first time since forever, I noticed how I didn't notice the experience I was having at the store, no hyperawareness, no panic, nothing - completely on autopilot just mindlessly casually shopping, didn't even notice I was at the store in a way.
As I reflected on that I was like HOLY SHIT, the brain didn't turn on the alarm! it's like it forgot to do that, I guess it CAN be retrained! (it's very different hearing it, and actually experiencing this for yourself).
Just wanted to share a positive experience, took me a while to practice these teachings, I put alot of blind faith into them at first because I honestly lost hope of getting better - also no amount of compulsions or coping methods worked anymore, so I decided to surrender and just feel disturbed, scared, anxious, sick, whatever. Because I truly can't do anything about it.
I dropped all resistance and let my physical symptoms, all disturbing thoughts, and all unpleasant emotions (mainly fear) just be and consume me for a while, I functioned as best as I could during this time.
But now I deeply understand that this is exactly what you are teaching, and Claire weekes, Sally winston and alot of other great people! the results speak for themselves (and I do believe now!).
I just know i'm on the right path now and that I finally "got it", and also as a consequence of this practice - my nervous system did start to wind down finally on it's own.
Sometimes I catch myself not being anxious for longer and longer, other times I still am, I don't really notice because I don't care as much as before about how I feel.
I still got work to do (more like un-do), but thanks to you I see the bigger picture now, Thanks Drew! another awesome episode!
Love this! When we have those moments of "neutral-ness" it really can be so awesome. I'm so happy you are getting to experience that now. Its a big deal!
You are so much in que. live listening to youđđ
Excellent discussion on the metaphysical. I listened several times, I enjoy your delivery and content. My condolences on the loss of your friend.
Thank you. I appreciate the kind words. And I'm glad you found this helpful.
I LOVE your intro, I get what you're saying & I think this kind of analysis is a great idea for me to try! Thank you, I'm SO glad you shared your process!"
I really do appreciate you sharing your own recovery encouragement and I think it would be a great topic for a podcast!! Iâm there now and this speaks to me! It allows me to take the pressure off of myself.
I try to share that sparingly because it's simply not fair for me to imply that people should do what I did. Maybe they will. Or maybe it will look different. Anxious people tend to want steps to follow or techniques to use so a helper sharing their own experience by default all the time accidentally feeds into that trap. When I do share, I try to point out the principles I followed more than the actual things I felt or did. Hopefully that makes sense.
THANK you soooo much for this! I was tracking with you all the way & honestly, this is the FIRST time I've ever heard this concept in such a clear way! I deeply appreciate your encouragement & have subscribed & shared! Will watch it to digest it more deeply again soon!đđđ€ș
This topic - metacognition - is one I have been really digging into for the last year. It's a very useful lens to look through when addressing our topics! Thanks for the feedback. :-)
My condolences. If no one has said it, thanks for taking the time to make and post something for others!
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Thank you Drew for sharing your personal happenings. Yes, we are human and these events in our life are very helpful in understanding recovery from real life. Wishing you the best and thank you again despite your own struggles.
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I needed to hear this today. Thanks!
I am trying to get unstuck with the caring how I feel because itâs spiraling the hamster wheel of sensations. I wake up and feel so unsteady it scares me. I donât know how to not care or accept this while hating it so much. For a week now I have had constant constant rolling panics . I canât eat or sit still or trust myself. I am definitely highly charged and scared this wonât end. I am trying mindfulness and trying to be patient but drew this is dragging me all day and night. Struggling to stop the oh no thoughts that something is truly wrong with my brain. I am trying to challenge this belief and then the sensations come back and I try and it comes back and frustration and emotions are building so fast.
Hey, idk if this is helpful, but like I thought I'd give a shot at helping. When you're saying stuff like that you are trying not to care or that you're trying to stop the anxious thoughts, that's not really something you can or should do, especially when you're really in the thick of it. Your experience gets better as you go along, but it's not really because the bad stuff goes away, it's because you're changing the way you react to it. What you really gotta focus on right now is just doing the things *and* feeling bad. You gotta teach yourself that you're capable, and that you can handle all the fear, all the bad stuff.
When you go do exposures and feel bad anyway, it's teaching your brain not just that nothing bad actually didn't happen, but also, more importantly imo, that you *can* handle it. You can handle bad feelings. It's okay to want it to go away, that's natural, everyone wants that, but even if it's here, even if it feels bad right now, you can push thru to the other side. You have already been doing this to some extent, because you feel bad, but you're still here. I think you can use that to empower yourself thru the hard times. You are so freaking strong, seriously!
I hope you can work to feel better, and I believe in you :) đ€
@@justinuwusoftboi thank you, thank you so much. I believe I flooded or terrified myself so intensely that I am just a walking anxious panic attack and I guess I need to be patient while my mind and body and hormones kind of settles. Itâs been hard to even do dishes, shower, sit or function, and I let that fact become a catastrophic event that means I would never get better or that I will wake up like this every day forever. I mean I truly am afraid of that because it is horrible and that floating falling over feeling whew it can take hours to settle because I am tired of it and thatâs fueling emotions. Thank you for taking the time to respond, for giving me insight and compassion. Iâve been hard on myself and probably trying to hard at trying instead of trusting myself
@@michellefejes2301 Omi, I get that so much because at the very beginning of my recovery, I did almost the exact same thing! I know you can make it through. Seriously just take it so slow. When I picked myself up after flooding myself, I just made a small morning routine of brushing my teeth and then meditating for literally just a few minutes, and that was it. It was so hard, and seems so small, but if you can do even something so small as that it's a win. And if you win even once, that means you're a winner. Even if you try to do the dishes and can only manage to do a couple, give yourself some space, you're really doing your best and that's so enough.
I've been in this cycle too. It does pass, just trust it will, when a sensation comes up just keep calm and try to distract. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't but keep trying as every time you stay calm its retraining the brain! Having patience is key. All very hard to do but keep listening to drew and hang in there.
@@lozb1631 Iâm starting to feel I really am doomed because this has been months upon months of this and Iâm tired of feeling so fragile and missing out on life. Itâs like groundhogs day. My hormones are trash and itâs making it so much harder
Hi Drew, thanks for all you do. I wish I had known about your methods and techniques years ago when I started feeling anxiety.
Thanks!
Thank you for your kind support. I appreciate it!
This one is such a big problem for me, man. đ It's been the hardest part of recovery for me lately, because before I developed OCD, I used to have a pretty rich and deep internal experience. I always turned things inwards and add so much meaning and stuff, like a lil baby philosopher. Now whenever I try to have those experiences, my brain is like "Nice introspection... anyways, here's why it's actually anxiety though." It's really souring. đ„Ž
It's getting better tho, I think. I notice times where I hold a peaceful internal experience longer and longer before it gets hijacked by anxiety. I'll get there someday. :) đ
When meaning making becomes a weapon pointed inward instead of a useful capability. It really is a double edged sword!
Thankyou very much for this Drew. With so much going on in your life at the moment it would have been understandable for you to have skipped this podcast. I hope that things steady down soon, the exams go well and you achieve your desired target.
Thank you! I appreciate this. :-)
This video helped me a lot today, thank you! I have a tendency to "worship" my mind and rely on it very heavily, which obviously is not helpful once it becomes compulsive. Do you have any content that provides examples of exposure exercises for generalized anxiety, if there are not predictable/reliable triggers like driving/feared places? Should you just pick literally anything that scares you? ie: horror movies, watching videos of natural disasters, making yourself dizzy/nauseous?
Hi. I might be able to help you a little with this. Your exposure is actually happening right now - you fear what might happen if/when you get triggered by these unreliable/unpredictable things in the future and possibly you also fear the continuation of your problem without any direct action you can take - and you're responding by looking for these videos, etc. to expose yourself to in order to get a quick (or at least quicker) fix.
So instead your job is to let yourself be exposed to the possibility that it might take a while, you might not get your 'preferred' triggers soon, there might not be any obvious useful action/fixes you can do - and then not do anything in response to how that makes you feel, but just go on with your usual activities.
I hope that's useful.
Andrew
Search for GAD or generalized anxiety on my channel for more on GAD. GAD exposures tend to focus on leaving questions unanswered or even un-asked in some cases. Want to worry and ruminate to find answers and alleviate your anxiety? What happens if you walk away from that and bring the anxious feeling with you while you do the best you can with life?
Hello Drew ⊠Thank you for the wonderful insight.
Question .. Can you you point me towards more info / content in any form that goes deeper into the notion that that the thought of a peanut butter sandwich is no different than a highly anxious thought that may enter you mind. Light bulb flickered when I heard you say this. Thanks !
Well here's where I get mildly annoying. LOL. What would happen if you accepted this assertion as something you can experiment with in real life with different responses and behaviors instead of needing to hear more about it, think about it, or analyze it? I'm only pointing out the highly meta nature of this stuff. I just learned something about thinking ... now I want to think more about that! ;-)
Hi Drew, first of all want to say how amazing and helpful your podcasts are and you tube channel. I have been listening to your episode on Anxiety all day long. I am very aware I donât want to tigger anyone here so want to say if you have emetophobia donât read on!
I was brought up in care and force fed, which caused huge issues around being sick for me. On this podcast about being anxious all day it talks about CPTSD. Should my exposures be different? I get up with an absolute sense of dread and anxiety and my first ocd thought is âwhat if Iâm sick when I eatâ I know where this thought has come from and my urge is to flee from myself ( very hard thing to do) I make myself sit and eat regardless of the fear as I know thatâs what Iâve got to show my brain that eating is safe and even if I was sick, I wonât die, but I also recognise that my whole ice thing is about feeling out of control and others witnessing my panic ( again from my childhood) . Iâm wondering if thereâs anything else I should be doing? I see a therapist every fortnight too. Thanks for any input.
This is a complicated question. Given the stated background I can't tell you with any certainty - and therefore safely or ethically - what your exposures should look like. Usually when there is an identifiable trauma that is directly related to the phobia we'd want to do a bunch of prep work that involves going through those old experiences to make meaning out of them and help assimilate those memories into an ongoing functional narrative. That's trauma work. Exposures for emetophobia are often difficult too because emetophobes can be highly resistant to the idea that the phobia should even be treated sometimes, even if they want to get over it. So while I'd like to give you some useful feedback here, the best I can do are these general concepts. I hope that helps. xx
Very helpful and well explained.
Would it be true to say that it's not just a matter of what we think and feel about what we think and feel, but also how we behave in relation to what we think and feel?
I would say that what we think and feel in this context is the least important thing. The most important thing is how we respond to what we think and feel. Behaviorally for sure. The change in behavior is what leads the way for all the other change.
Not me switching from apple podcast to CZcams video to see what you look like. But for real, condolences to you!â€
This made me LOL for real!
Sorry to ask here. Did something happen to the Facebook group? Just checked in and realized the last post is apparently from 2022.
I went down the anxiety cycle after a random scary intrusive thought but now Iâm way better than before but still super Anxious and I keep thinking about my anxiety? Like checking if that thought or anxiety is still bothering me. How can I go about stopping that automatic check in?
You can't stop the checking. But you can decide to throw away the results you get from that scan. Search my channel for "checking" and you'll find a video I did explaining this. Also check the episode of Disordered we released today that talks about automatic stuff in relation to anxiety.
disordered.fm/70
Yes how to change beliefs when being in metacognition?
ACTION. You don't get to just decide to believe different things. We act even when we don't believe. Behavior leads the way. And yes, that is difficult to do.
@@TheAnxiousTruth yes action! I remind myself of that often; thank you so much for this and thank you for responding to all of my messages! So kind! đ
When I get intrusive thoughts about yelling things/ screaming out loud for no reason I get so anxious about it because I then get an urge to do it? and my throat gets tight and I just feel so on edge of losing control:( I feel like I canât trust myself because the anxiety+ physical symptoms are so strong and I feel at any minute Iâm going to lose control and scream. I donât know how to respond to this anymore I let the anxiety be there but its so uncomfortable. Any advice please.
Yes it is uncomfortable but that does not make it dangerous nor does it mean that your thoughts are going to compel you to act (ego-dystonic intrusive thoughts do not do that). The primary principle I have to point you to here is that trying desperately to fix the discomfort tends to make more discomfort. That's what makes this approach easy to hear about, but hard to execute.
@@TheAnxiousTruth I try to let the thoughts be there but it feels so real and I get so scared. I feel I can't trust myself I fear I will lose control and yell things bad things for no reason and it causes so much tension to the point I avoid going anywhere because I am terrified that I will yell/ lose control of myself. I have no trust in myself because the thoughts cause so much tension. I am so scared
the more I sit with the anxiety and let it be there the stronger I fill it gets the intrusive thought of yelling feels more real and I get into a panic state :(
You talk about beliefs a lotâŠ. How did you change your beliefs?
Through action. Beliefs are changed by acting in new ways that challenge old beliefs. We don't get to just decide to believe that thoughts are not dangerous or that anxiety is "just anxiety" until we act in new ways. This is a critical concept in my book.
@@TheAnxiousTruth thank you. Makes much sense!