NOT Too Stunned to Speak.. Ft. Spencewuah || Reddit Readings || Two Hot Takes Podcast
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- čas přidán 14. 06. 2024
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Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Spencer Hunt aka Spencewuah!! What started as a theme where we were too stunned to speak turned into too flustered not to say something. These are a wild assortment of stories that have us discombobulated and ready to pop off in some regard. What are your thoughts on them?
Checkout Spencer's content: / @spencewuah
spencewuah...
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Index:
00:00 -- Start
03:12 -- Story 1
13:43 -- Story 2
28:05 -- Story 3
38:15 -- Story 4
44:54 -- Story 5
57:24 -- Story 6
01:15:01 -- Story 7
01:28:14 -- Story 8 - Komedie
Story 4: her telling him to leave his wife because she doesnt like documentaries is WILD. Someone has a crush
Right 😂 it's giving "pick me...choose me...love me"
She literally assumed him liking documentaries is his whole personality 😂
I really hope that's rage bait. If not it is most definitely a hey we like the same stuff so leave your wife for me.
Bc they have one thing in common
Girl is weirddddddd 😭
IT IS LITERALLY THIS STUPID:
You like to walk fast everywhere? WHAT!? I LIKE TO WALK FAST EVERYWHERE!!
SOULMATES! ❤😂😂😂😂😂
Story 7: The sister doesn’t not want to keep the child’s identity a secret for the baby, she wants to live in her delusion that that IS her baby. Be it from a trauma response from the loss of her own children and her sister, it was NEVER to “make it easier” for the baby. She wants to pretend that that is her child and wants everyone else to play along to that delusion.
Plus the child they will someday find out and will either hate her or have to go through an identity crisis for no reason. That’s not what’s best for the child. And changing their name is so disrespectful to the mother. I’d be furious if this happened to my child
@@layladavis02uuuhhhuy
I agree. I wonder if she's also trying to "hide the shame" of Sam's father being a one night stand. Like, she is secretly judgemental of her sister for the way the child was conceived in a way. Idk, just a thought that crossed my mind.
@@heezypeasy8611 I also wouldn't be surprised if she was jealous of her sister for falling pregnant so easily when she has struggeled to have a child.
Brother ain't mad enough at the disrespect to his other sister by the whole family
Story 5: Even if it was true that she dressed “dumpy”…no loving partner should ever say that…
Also why is it anyone else’s business what I choose to wear/feel comfortable in, especially in my home? Since when did bfs become the fashion police? You have to get ready just because he’s in your presence, like a job? If he wants me to dress up, he can take me out somewhere nice lol. Sometimes women don’t want to wear figure hugging clothing all day, for many reasons, who cares if she looks frumpy when she’s comfy? Even makeup, like grow up. I like wearing makeup if I’m socialising, but being barefaced & skincared at home the pinnacle of comfort. Also why would she even want to impress him, he sounds like her no. 1 hater. He could have suggested taking her shopping and made it fun. Not a match, clearly.
I really don’t think he understands there’s many different versions of fashion. Like a girl can dress in bright pink and funky boots and pastel makeup. That’s fashion. While a girl can dress in a formal dress, pulled back hair and natural makeup. That’s fashion. Two very different things but but very much fashion. You can wear baggy jeans and a rock and tshirt. That’s fashion. It’s messed up to say she doesn’t like fashion when you don’t understand what fashion is. Only time my boyfriend ever comments on my appearance was makeup and that was only because I was wearing it and it was breaking me out and I felt terrible with myself. So he just encouraged me to stop wearing it. I only wore it because of work. I was always told I looked “tired” and made me so insecure.and he knew that and hated it. So I know now he was just trying to give me my confidence back. But what this dude is doing isn’t giving confidence. It’s breaking her down.
I think he saw a woman who dressed in a fashion he liked, and completely messed up communication. "Baby, I like that dress, but on you - incomparable. Can we find you something like that?" Is an ask. Your asking her to appease your request. You're dumpy? How insulting. I'd be wearing housecoats.
@tinkere7243 Housecoats. 😂 I love ya!
I agree he is dense and, like you said, I think he just happens to prefer a more "flashy" look his wife is not into. (And I am more like HER!) But him just thinking he's right and she's wrong, Nooooo. "Then you can wear a hot pink shirt, honey, if you think that's so great." 😂
Stories like that makes me why men even are in a relationship when they so clearly hate there partner
Story 5: is that guy joking??? “AITA for essentially calling my wife ugly, her wardrobe choices questionable, and adding unnecessary adjectives to my argument like “dumpy” and “boring” ???” Wow. They never cease to amaze me.
Also comparing her to the friend
not mention..kind of insult the friend and women as a whole…saying that if he were a woman he’d dress colorfully and fashionable for attention..and that’s probably why friend does it. implying that that’s why women would dress a certain way..
i literally screamed when he said “dumpy”
Congrats on quitting vaping, Spencer! We’re so proud of you!
Yep. That's a really great thing. I did it too and I have to say it was difficult from the beginning. But now if he could just stop saying "like" very other word. I'm to the point where I can't even listen to the episode when him in them.
We are!!! It’s a sign for me to quit smoking
@avepbellon Yes! We can do it! I'm trying so hard to quit smoking. I cut down to 3 or 4 cigarettes a day from more than half a pack a day. I'm vaping some, too, and wanna quit that as well. I'm thinking about trying Füm to see if that helps.
@heezypeasy8611 I'm in the same boat. Was smoking around 5-10 cigs a day and now I'm at 1-3 a day. But I also vape and smoke weed daily 😭 it's hard out here lol
He should of continue, maybe less stupid takes floating around
Story 8. the sister with panic attacks that come on suddenly, she might look into a service dog to may be able to warn her before they happen
That's a great solution.
I had similar thoughts. Even thought doesn't she have a friend who could essentially baby sit her just for that day. Like sit right at the back for the ceremony so she can bail and no one would really notice and same with the reception. Seat her near the exit so she can leave quickly of she needs to. I feel like there was a compromise that could've been made. Or even let someone stream everything so she can at least watch and feel included.
justin’s mic is off during the zocdoc ad LOL
Lmao thank you for confirming I'm not crazy
I was wondering why it was silent because I wasn't paying attention to the screen 😂
He was too stunned by it to speak..
@@jray5907 same here hahah, I had to rewind to make sure I didn't miss anything
I thought I missed something cause I wasn't looking either 😂 I pictured Justin giving Morgan the side eye 🙄 for her outting his skin issues lol
Story 4: how refreshing for a man to respond to something like on their own!!! His wife is truly lucky!
The audacity of that writer made me so mad just bc two people have separate interests doesn’t mean ANYTHING so beyond glad he distanced himself
Came to comment this lol
My husband role plays weekly with a great group of friends for almost 30 years... I have zero interest in it. BUT we are committed and happy, and I love listening in sometimes but I have zero interest to play. This is a real man. Nerds are the best. LOL
@@cammieasaro6345 my boyfriend trying to explain premier league to me and I’m not a soccer person but I love seeing how into it he gets. Nerds (he said it, not me lol) truly are superior!
I probably should have said subjectively
Story 8: As a person with anxiety/depression, It took me a while to realize that mental illness is not my fault, but it is my responsibility. If major events trigger panic attacks, then it is my responsibility to take myself out of those situations and not get upset when people don't want to deal with that. People should be allowed to enjoy things without risking my mental stability.
That husband who was rude to his wife sounds like the type to constantly compare her to other women. Minimalism is valid the fact that he's so obtuse not to realize it takes effort to not look like you put in effort.
He wasn’t even a husband..he was a boyfriend of 7 years. If he wanted to, he would have.
@@tendercrockettsbecause everyone has the endgame of marriage right? 😒
@@tendercrocketts🤦🏽♀️
I totally agree. He started the whole thing by comparing her to the friend who wears vibrant colors. He sucks.
This would crush me. I deal with so many mental and image issues and my partner has always been complimentary towards me, even if I look atrocious. I feel so sad for her having been told such a shitty thing.
Story #3: the thing about kids that young is that they look at their parents to gauge their reactions to things. If you are TELLING that child she has reason to be afraid, you are strengthening her fear. And to do so just to be right and make a point is a really crappy thing to do.
Yeah this could have been a good teachable moment to explain to the little girl that service dogs are very special dogs who have a very important job to do keeping their human safe and healthy. By reinforcing the four year olds fear, you’re only making her more likely to be unable to exist in a world where service animals have the right to be in public and spaces, regardless of her fears
It would be so weird to send a child with a set of individuals who are the type of people who would view a baby as their selfish opportunity, the type of people who would actually erase the mother who birthed and loved her child and had no Plan or dieing exiting their child’s life. Christ sake!! New rear unlocked. I unexpectedly die and the new parents erase my existence to my child like whaaaat! Who would send a child with people like that lol they are mentally not right
@@michelletess1670 What? Mabey I'm misunderstanding what you're saying. But no one said they where going to erase the birth mom from the child's life. Some children who came from surrogacy grow up knowing that their birth mother is still their birth mother. But the thing is that there is a difference between a birth mother, and a mom. A mom raises you, loves you, cares for you. A birth mother is the person who birthed you. It isn't selfish to want to love, hold and care for a child. If anything it shows that even if they themselves can't have children, they're so dedicated and want to have kids that they want to have a child to love.
100%!!!
That mom reminds me sooo much of my stepdaughter's mom...She feeds her fears by doing bs like that. I don't know WHY she does it, but she can get my SD to go from a "oh that's a little scary" to almost breaking down in tears with all her "comforting." Like, girl... you're traumatizing her.
Exactly and if she's really that afraid, she needs therapy like yesterday because dogs are everywhere and when she's a grown adult she cannot demand people outside leave their dogs at home because she is afraid
I love that the guy in story 4 said immediately no, you've crossed a line, and there's no coming back. That's the perfect response because it prioritizes his wife and her feelings, even if she doesn't know about it at the moment.
story 7: op said they went to court and a judge granted him custody. a family judge decided op was the best home to be in.
Right! They skipped over that part, something made the judge choose him over the sister that should have been a sign he did the right thing!
When Morgan read the part in story 5 where they said “I had no idea she even cared about looks or fashion” I looked away from my work to the video at the exact time Spencer looked at the camera and we were making the same exact face 😂
Story 2: ETA. Having a child for a sibling is a HUGE commitment. HUGE. I think it's a little unfair to pull the "my body my choice" card if you're expecting your partner to care for you through a pregnancy that they had no say in. Marriage is a big deal. You're saying you are going to take on life as a team.
But OP was giving weird vibes too. He didn't seem willing to consider things from his girlfriend's perspective. Like, if she's close enough to her sister to be willing to do something potentially life threatening for her? OP needs to dig in and understand that deeper.
I think this is a topic that deserves massive amounts of discussion and probably a marriage counselor to help facilitate genuine communication - not bickering, not trying to win a stupid fight. I have so many questions. Does the girlfriend REALLY want to carry a kid for her sister, or is she feeling pressured because she made a promise when she was 14 and didn't understand the massive thing she was committing her future self to?
The only way that OP's girlfriend can keep this as just "her own business" and no one else's is if she does the surrogacy thing while she's single and without any input from a partner. Then it really would be one hundred percent her own choice.
I have fertility issues (thankfully I have zero desire to have children) and I can't imagine asking my sister to carry a child for me. My god. I love my sister so much. I know she'd be open to considering it, but I honestly would rather pay someone I didn't know and love. I can't imagine how I'd go on if something bad happened to her and it was because she was trying to carry a child for me.
My impression is that he didn’t want her to have a baby inside her that wasn’t HIS. Like I think it’s totally fair to think about logistics - time off work, health complications etc. But throwing in how husbands wouldn’t be down for that?? What? This isn’t an ownership thing. She wants to support her sister. He could have went about it the other way, because now he sounds like the AH.
@@adriandaniels1YES. It's totally okay to have concerns about health, time, and how the relationship might overall be affected. It's not okay to be all "I'm the husband and therefore my word is final". His wording was off and didn't sound like it came out of a place of love or concern, just pure ownership.
@@adriandaniels1 You know I am wondering if he maybe was thinking of how the kid "gets inside her" 👀 expecting her to have sex with BIL... or he simply does not want to explain why his wife is pregnant but at the same time they are not having kids.
That was exactly the direction my thoughts went into, too!
Both of them were being in the wrong to a degree, but the dudes vibes from the way the post was written? Rancid
It can play out one of two ways his girlfriend could have surrogate child first and
never wanna go through pregnancy again and not have a biological child herself or she can have a bio child first and not wanna be a surrogate for her sister anymore
Story 8: The older sister is justified, I say that as a person who see both parties points. I am a neurodivergent persons who has to skip some events due to severe anxiety, and it sux, but it was my decision. It's my space to work on my problem, to attend therapy, to medicate myself and to make sure that my problem is not everybody else's problem. But I also was there, where my parent had to skip important milestones of mine due to shenanigans. And it hits hard, to understand that you, as a kid who wants your parent by your side, will not have that due to stuff you can't control.
The older sister deserves to have her calm wedding & her mom by her side. It sux for the youngest, but she should understand that while she has little control over her state, her sister deserves to have her own day stress-free.
Spencer is hands down my favorite guest on this show. Every thing i think he says it 😂
Spencer, The Afualo girlies, and Sarah Schauer have been my all time FAVS so far
Yes! And he is so fun, too!!
@@PenelopeAstonyOMG YESSS
YESSS and i love the way he speaks, he makes me feel just as heated as he is😭
Yessssss and Chris klemens!!!
Imagine if the sister in story 7 had adopted Sam. The whole family would have to lie to that kid for his whole life. Imagine how the kid will feel when the truth comes out… because it WILL come out. He has at least 5 cousins/siblings who know his past, you think a bunch of kids can make it 18+ years without spilling the beans.
For the Sister with the Panic Attack story. Could have someone live-stream the wedding so she can still enjoy and see the ceremony then decide if she feels okay to attend the reception.
something, anything. her mom and sister clearly don't care about her, they're not making an effort for her which is probably why she feels entitled to ask her mom to please not go. it feels like the older sister IS actually the favourite child because shes "less difficult". i understand the younger one getting a bit demanding because she feels so overlooked. the mom is the asshole, but not for the reason she thinks
@@77devonnot really. I would feel bade for the older sister if every special even that’s supposed to be her day is overshadowed by her sister and her panic attacks
I can understand both sides however, she knows her triggers are big crowds. Both the wedding and the reception is going to be a big crowd. It sucks the younger is missing out on this but this is her big sisters day. And like they mentioned in the show if every big event has been ended due to the younger sisters panic attacks then she can't go. And the mom isn't the asshole for wanting to spend her daughters wedding day with her daughter and have her be her focus. Weddings are the biggest days where the day is about the bride and groom. They can livestream the wedding ceremony but I dont think she should even go to the reception. Maybe her and big sister could have dinner or hangout together as a pre wedding celebration.
No the younger sister needs to take responsibility for herself and be an adult. She knows her triggers are large crowds but doesn’t do anything to help herself. Like removing herself when she feels overwhelmed or choosing not to go to avoid one happening. She’s just making everyone else deal with her attacks when they happen. That mom is NTA at all
@@77devon if every event has become about the younger sister to the point where the two are not close, I seriously doubt the older sister feels like the favorite. I have two children and one of them has a serious medical issue. I have to make an effort to give special attention to my healthy child because it does frequently happen that a medical emergency occurs on the healthy child's special days. She certainly doesn't feel like the favorite just for being healthy. A medical issue like panic attacks forces the attention to shift in ways that you as a parent can't always make up for (which is certainly the case with the graduation as you can't have a do over graduation). If controlling for this in advance by not inviting the sister is the only way to guarantee no attacks, then the older sister is justified in doing that. The fact that the younger sister is insisting her parent not go just because she is not invited, it suggests a serious lack of self awareness about the impact her uncontrolled panic attacks have had on everyone around her. It's giving main character energy when obviously the younger sister is not the main character at her sister's wedding particularly when they aren't close!
1:28:16 This is so sad! The sister REALLY needs help, not a baby. I've suffered miscarriages and have a daughter, but even if I couldn't, I wouldn't erase my sister if she died and I took her baby in.
For the 2nd story I think NAH. I think they are both entitled to have their opinions on the matter and just because they disagree it doesn’t make either of them assholes, it just makes them incompatible.
I think story 1 and story 2 are very similar in terms of justification for the OP's being uncomfortable. Yes, you can talk to your friend from prison. Yes, you can be a surrogate. But if it's gonna impact your partner's life with you in some way, then they have a right to dip. Ultimately, neither OP can force their partners to not do the thing they want to do, but they don't have to remain in the relationship.
I agree with you. They’re simply incompatible. Move on
@ashleyduckworthyt3224 But he could absolutely just say, "this isn't something *I* see myself being a part of in my future, I don't think we're compatible." His whole post just oozed of being icky, a little sexist, and extremely juvenile.
@@vindifferencethis is my exact thoughts on this.
It DOES matter how your husband or partner feels.
This is a huge thing to go through especially when they don’t have children of their own yet. What if something happens to her that ruins her chances after she has her sisters baby?? I think it’s totally justified why he is upset. And it’s super annoying that they’re picking him apart because he’s not a woman. There really is a double standard with this one.
Yeah, like I am all for my body my choice. But if I was the OPs girlfriend, and I was serious about that promise, I would be upfront with my partner as soon as I saw that this was a serious relationship that could go somewhere.
And if I was in the OPs situation, I would expect this same level of communication from my partner. Sure she isn’t keeping the kid herself, but that doesn’t mean it’s not going to be a rough 9 months that could seriously affect their relationship and lives.
And the “who are you to…?” Like fucker he is a the partner in this relationship. He would be affected on some level here and if she’s serious about them then he should be heard out at least.
Justin:
Morgan: Where were you able to go and get an appointment?
Justin:
Morgan: Justin was able to secure an appointment..
I thought I was tripping for a second lol
Okay good I thought I was losing it LOL
LMAOO i was like whats going onnn
Story 6- I’m honestly wondering if OPs husband was drugged and felt assaulted. This level of depression after a divorce is pretty extreme. If he didn’t consent and was out of his mind, this was scary
I was just coming to the comments to post this. It sounds like he went through a traumatic experience and it wasn't 100% consensual
That's what it sounds like to me as well.
Considering he'd been cheating regularly and not with men, I heavily suspect this. No way a habitual cheater would be so destroyed by the end of the marriage he was actively destroying he'd sink this far post divorce. 😢
But a cynical piece of me is wondering why he didn't press charges or seek healing, but then again he's in the same environment OP and her shitty support systems so not tenderness or competent enough to teach about such a delicate matter.
@@availanila there's that and I hate to say that in a Society like the one we have now he probably wouldn't be taken as seriously anyway
This was my immediate thought!
Story #7: my ex was adopted by his grandparents before he was 1yo. They never told him that they were Gma & Gpa; but rather Mom & Dad. When he was about 10yo, his 'friend' was the one to tell him. He didn't believe it at first, but that other kid had info that prompted my ex to ask questions. I can say that he has had major issues ever since. Alcoholism, drug addiction, 45yo & has no idea who he really is/no sense of identity; nor who his father is. Trying to erase the past never works out well for the child. NTA, OP.
Story 2: I think as a bisexual woman. If I was in a relationship with a woman, I know I would be uncomfortable with me or my partner being a surrogate. I don’t think I’m an asshole for this being a boundary.
I think that this is a conversation you need to talk about before marriage. Are we going to have kids, if so, how? What will this look like?
So I don’t think he is an asshole for that being a line, but I agree he was an asshole in execution.
He isn't an asshole for what he wants but he is 100% an asshole for thinking he gets the final say because he might marry her
No one said he was the asshole for being uncomfortable with surrogacy so either you didn’t listen to their responses or..
@@atheteusalexopoulos6876 I mean, I'ma bounce. I'm not dealing with a pregnant wifey if the kid aint mine. Hell, I'm of the opinion that not exploring adoption is unethical, I'd be a rubber ball and bounce, tf out!
@@cupidshuffles8498 did you read my whole comment? “I agree he was an asshole in execution.” I was sharing my opinion of the topic.
@@monkeydance3894 your opinion is just what they said
I want the Smosh Pit Reddit stories series. One thing they say a lot is something along the lines of “This person isn’t really wrong… but they’re the AH just by the way they’re writing this.”
That’s exactly how I feel about story 2 tbh. The issue itself is reasonable, but something about this guy’s tone seems insufferable.
That’s totally what I was thinking too
Yes exactly, you can usually tell by the way theyre writing if they leaving stuff out and manipulating the story
100%, had he sat down and had a genuine conversation with his partner about how that makes him feel she might have seen his side, the way he worded it makes it seem like he’s accusing her of being unfaithful to him if she does that and it felt a little icky
"Most guys would agree with me"
Big ick
@@llynxfyremusic literally, asked my husband how it would make him feel and then showed him the story and he was disgusted by that dudes comments
Story 4: It's so crazyyyy for OP to say that about him and his wife's bond!!! Just because I'm not in love with video games does not diminish my bond with my husband !!!!
Just because I don't have a special interest in planes and can't go to air shows does not mean my husband and I are not perfectly matched for each other! I can't imagine being with anyone else!
Story 5: it doesn’t matter how you feel op. what you said is EXTREMELY rude. Do you even like your gf ?
justin being a leo but almost virgo makes so much sense 😂
He definitely gives Virgo vibes
Honorary Virgo
-from a Virgo
It definitely does lol
What does this mean? :')
@@ThomBaws A leo has big energy, and are all about them. Its very much the Spencer vibes you see here. But Virgos, are overthinkers, we plan, we like control. Very logical. Justin gives off virgo vibes not leo vibes
Story 6- I really feel like the husband was assaulted. The way that he has gone down a deep depression, to me speaks to how victims of assault go down depressions. The other affairs are reasons to leave but I think the husband might need to go to a therapist and the brother needs to be looked into.
I felt this way as well. I think they did drugs and got roofied as well by brother….
My nonverbal autistic 7-year-old was afraid of dogs. But whenever we would visit my brother's family, we'd use the opportunity to let him become more comfortable around their extremely well-behaved and calm older dog. We encouraged him to not escape into our arms and to occasionally be as close as he could handle. Since he was less afraid of her tail end, we would hold his hand and give her little pets together while reassuring him that it was okay. Over time, he started to warm up and even became interested in being around her. It's obvious that he still feels some hesitation and continues to prefer her tail end, but he will get up next to her on his own and even wants to ride her. 😅 We don't let him, of course, but it's amusing watching him follow her around on his impossible mission. Somewhat off topic, he also seems to think she's a lion... probably because of her golden coloring. 😄 It was something I figured out during a visit when he randomly typed "lion" on his phone (one way he communicates) and then confirmed on a following visit when he did it again. So now we call her Bella the Lion. 😅
I just realized the last part might make it sound like he warmed up to her because he thinks she's a lion and not a dog. But I'm pretty sure he'd be even more afraid of an actual lion. 😄 He always liked the idea of dogs on screen or even from a distance, but being near them was a fast no. Since Bella, though, he opens up more quickly and easily.
RIGHT.???
That story pmo.. I have a cousin on the spectrum who was scared of dogs.. my friend had her service dog go “off duty” my cousin and I played & scooted closer & closer to the dog until cuz was at the dogs back & was brave enough to pet him.
It took abt a month of contact (only seen cuz 1-2 times a week) before cuz was actually excited to see the dog bc they loved the feeling of fur on their face.
Service dogs help way more people than the person they were trained for.💙
SUCH a cute story about your little one! 😭🫶🏽
Now THIS is how you handle it! I was super scared of dogs as a kid, but also really wanted to be able to be comfortable with them. Dogs are big sometimes compared to kids depending on the dog, so its totally understandable when kids are scared. Looking at it as an oppourtunity is totally genius! Cause it is 😊
How wonderful! Great job! I think most people would want to do something like this. Make the kid slowly start to feel safe around dogs. I'm sad that the mom in this story only wants to instill more fear into her child. Hope your kiddo continues to have good interactions with animals!
Story 8: has nobody heard of facetime/zoom/etc??? I feel like that would be the best solution for everyone. The youngest could be at home, see the wedding, and not disturb anyone if a panic attack happened.
Thank you for advocating for the disabled community Morgan! Like you said you can’t ask someone to just leave their wheelchair at home. My brother literally told me that I couldn’t bring my wheelchair to his wedding and now I’m not going because you either get me and my wheelchair or no me 😂
LMAOOO what weirdo, glad you’re not going. buddy wanted you unable to move 💀
You should crash the wedding, steal the food and roll out
THE LOOK Spencer gives the camera when the coworker says their connection is stronger!!!!! 😂😂😂😂
Story 7 struck a nerve bad with me 😭 it physically pains me to think that if I died, someone would actively try to erase the memory of me to my child/children. As someone with FIVE kids myself (raising 6, my little brother), that breaks my heart so much. That “sister”, as desperate as she seems, does/did not deserve that baby 😢 happy op stepped in to save the child.
omg Spencer got just as mad as I did at Story 3-if OP’s daughter’s sugar drops mid-party, I guarantee that’d be a much bigger disruption to the party than just taking a second to explain to the scared kid that the dog isn’t gonna go after anyone! And I definitely agree that by valiantly vowing to defend your kid against the dog, she’s implying that there’s something dastardly to defend against, when the dog is just busy trying to keep the kid stabilized 😑
Last story -- as someone with a diagnosed panic disorder, who also has random panic attacks at all sorts of events, it's my responsibility to get myself out of whatever situation I'm in, and to use the tools I've learned to cope and get myself right. I will never force others to deal with what i do. A lot of people play the victim and act like there is nothing we can do about panic attacks, but we can all learn how to cope and what triggers us.
I also suffer from mental health issues that can lead to panick attacks/meltdowns. I also had to learn which events I just can't go to. My meltdowns are triggered by light stimuli, so if i know an event will have big bright lights like in a club, I won't go until I have the tools to identify the physical/mental signs that come before an attack and know how to deal with it. It sucks to have to do this ,but sometimes you need to make some sacrifices to take care of your mental health and keep your relationship with others healthy
@lily-zg6io I agree! One tool I've learned is to put my hands on my belly and feel it move up and down while I breathe. During a panic attack or right before we tend to breathe with our chest, which makes it way worse. Also making myself yawn , weirdly helps me out the most. Just trick my body into being relaxed lol
Yeah, I have panic attacks and my service dog alerts, but if there’s a large crowd I wot go if she can’t go with me because I know that’s a trigger. (She leads me out of crowds to calm down)
The discussion of how long a period of dating "on the marriage path" means, hearing Morgan say "if you're goofy, it could be three months" was an actual gut punch because just today a friend was complaining in the group chat how they were mortified that one of their friends revealed to that they just got married to a guy they've known for three months LMAO. Talk about wild timing
I got engaged after five months and we've together five years now 😂
We have a 3 year old daughter and I'm pregnant with our second baby. Sometimes you know! But we were 25 and 28.
I moved in with my husband after a few months, then after 2 years to his country, then a few years later married then kids and a house. I do realise how lucky I am and how terrible it all could have gone but I consider myself very lucky.
@marym9150 Sure but that doesn't sound like all that unreasonable of a timeline? Since you don't give exact numbers then I can only assume that totals to about 4-5 years between either meeting or starting to date and getting married. The friend-of-a-friend in question just married someone they only initially met 3 months ago. That's insane, you simply don't have time to truly get to know someone and get a solid understanding of how living together long-term is gonna look in that short of a timespan.
@@oracledba123 oh definitely. I should have been more clear ( I was running to get my daughter from pick up ). We moved in together very quickly. We'd really only been occasional FB, he left the country then a year later returned, we instantly started dating and moved in literally after 2 or 3 months ( he lived in a hostel and I at my mum's. We wanted privacy. There's no way I'd have said yes to marriage. But I still think it was very quick to move in with each other.
My husband and I were “on the marriage path” in about 2 months or so. We officially got engaged in about 10 months after we met but we had decided long before that. We already had the date picked out and everything. We got married about 4 months after we got engaged. But we were also older at the time (39) and were pretty clear on who we were and what we wanted. I wouldn’t recommend for a 20- something.
Spence, Morgan, and Drew is the trio I need in my life!!! I hope Morgan has both of them on at some point!
Yes to this but also, Sarah Schauer needs to be in there too, that's the quartet of my dreams
Another thing that I feel like should’ve been highlighted that wasn’t mentioned on story about the guy who called his wife’s clothes boring and dumpy is that he claimed if he was woman he would “want to dress in bright colors to get attention.” Like to this man women are objects and he can’t fathom someone dressing for THEMSELVES because it’s what THEY like.
Story 5:
wtf. Bro has a crush on the “fashionable” woman they hang out with and he’s not being honest.
The story with the husband calling his wife dumpy and saying she never looks good.. literally everything would be shattered for me in that moment and everything would feel like a lie up until that point
She’s 1000% plotting her escape
What an asshole
I was adopted by my grandparents, and our family was worried she was trying to replace my mom, but they acknowledged they were not my bio parents from the get go. Which makes sense cause of their age, but I still grew up knowing my bio mom, their daughter, died when I was a baby. They had a picture of her holding me as a baby in our main room and would bring me to the cemetery and talk about her on holidays and anniversaries. It was fine for me growing up, and my classmates knew. The story gets darker for me, though, but the point is I wasn't distressed very much knowing I lost my mom early, although always a bit sad about it. I was comforted that they chose to keep me close and grateful they adopted me. I'm also glad they did their best not to hide their own grief from me. I was lied to about her cause of death, though, and you can go ahead and guess what kind of deaths are lied about. Granted, I was too young to comprehend that kind of loss until I was a younger teen. Honesty really is the best policy for a kid, they're very resilient if you're open with them. If I were the kid in the story, I'd be VERY upset if they had erased my mom's memory and reality because one of my aunts wanted to use me to fulfill her fantasy of being a mom after my real mom's death when I was a baby.
For story 7 there was a similar story before where the mom was married and had gotten sick and the husband married her sister after she passed and their daughter was a toddler. The sister decided to raise the daughter as her own and erased all traces of her sister. She threatened everyone in the family that they would be banned from their lives if they told her neice that she was not her daughter. It didnt sit right with OP so she stayed away until the neice got older and she reached out to OP asking who she was and why she never met her. OP told her the truth and gave her tapes her mom made. Niece went no contact with everyone but OP and OP sister was furious with her. I think thats how it went.
thats exactly what that story reminded me of! especially because the husband (father of kid) had cheated on the deceased to be with her sister. not only did he betray her before death but after death too. very glad this story went differently
The saddest part of the story was that they’ve also destroyed all the letters & videos the mom made for her daughter. To be there for the girl, even when she knew she’d no longer be around 😢
This is not an act of love, this is act if selfishness 💔
@tate_n Exactly why else would you try to erase someone and try to take their place. You have a vision of a perfect family, and acknowledging the one who has passed does not fit in what you pictured. It's so disrespectful to the biological parent who did not leave the family by choice.
This is exactly what I was thinking!!
Story 7 about adopting the baby... I think the sister that wanted to adopt the kid and call it her own does need immediate therapy. I remember in 2021, I was around 27y when I was rushed into surgery bc I got endometriosis but my pain threshold is so high, I didn't noticed till basically I was about to lose both my ovaries. Thankfully we caught it in time...but I remember my doctor giving me the news, and till that point I never realized how being fertile, having the option of having kids, was so important to me. It's so different to say "I don't want kid" than to say "I can't have kids." I do feel the sister is in a mental health crisis bc of the circumstances of her fertility. I wouldn't be surprised if she has to go to a psychiatrist to be medical treated as well. Infertility can send people into a crisis. My partner had to chemo in his early 20's (he's good now, still clean thankfully) and I remember how scared he was of being infertile when he did fertility tests after what happened to me bc he got concerned, too. It is a big issue. She needs help genuinely.
3: My mom was attacked by a dog, and has scars from it- she’s terrified of dogs, but never once would she ask someone to take their service dog home-
For story 6, maybe I’m reaching but it sounds like the drug experience was very traumatic for her ex husband. The thing is… could SA have been involved? OP didn’t elaborate, but from the details she gives at the very least the drug induced “affair” with her brother seems to have really negatively affected this man. I know he wasn’t loyal before, but it sounds like this affair was entirely drug induced, and something he wouldn’t have done had drugs not been involved. In fact, he doesn’t even remember how he ended up in the position she found him in. Honestly, it sounds really sus:/
Sounds like it’s hitting rock bottom that’s affecting him instead. He needs continuous intensive therapy, especially since drugs are/were involved. Having family members that were addicts, a lot of times it was pondering what they’d done & dealing with deeper issues w/a sober mind (what they’d been avoiding in the first place) that’s causing depression.
Story 2: they both suck, While he gives some misogynistic vibes, she seems to just expect him to roll with it. It would be one thing if she was "I understand if you are not comfortable with it, but I will do it anyway", but by the post she seems to expect him to just accept this. Of course we only have his side of the story, but that's what we have.
At the end of the road. They both do have control of their own life’s. It’s good she told him at least. But they both have a choice and they need to be adults and accept the other person’s decision. But that’s how all decisions are. You are your own person. You choose but have to understand others around you can choose too. You can’t make them choose what you want in life.
@@layladavis02 Yes, the problem here is that they both are trying to impose their choise on the other
My issue is that everyone is acting like "marriage path" is all a guy needs to say and his girlfriend is his property. If he wants husband privileges he needs to step up. As if, if a guy told me "This is what you are going to do and if you disagree I will never marry you" I would laugh at him. It's like when doctors refuse to sterilize women who aren't married because "what if your future husband wants a baby" women do not belong to their future husbands. So him trying to leverage married to force her out of it makes him TAH. He should just leave without trying to blackmail her.
@@spencedbuddy6343 That's true, I just focused more on why I think she is also an AH because I pretty much agree with what was said about him in the video and didn't had much to add to it
@@spencedbuddy6343they are talking about the future, so obviously OP has some say as to what his future holds as well. Saying that he needs to step up as a husband before having a say is quite dumb imo, since by then it’ll be too late for anything to be done. What you are implying is that if I were to have a partner who wouldn’t want to have kids and I do, then I would need to step up as a husband before having any say in the discussion. I feel like by then it would be too late for that discussion. Which is why i think OP clearly should have a say in this discussion.
For story 6, I had read the story before this video was available and I'm kinda upset you didnt talk about something that was discussed in Reddit about the exh having been possibly r4p*d by OP's brother. Yes, exh cheated a lot before but as far as OP says, he never dated males before and EXH was drugged and to this day he doesnt remember how the situation happened. And since the divorce took place, he has not dated anyone at all, he has only been so depressed, that's why a lot of people in Reddit think that maybe the brother drugged him and took advantage of him. Even OP, after reading those comments thinks it might be true but she still doesnt want to do anything about it so she was downvoted a lot for it.
For last story, I think the family should consider getting a service dog that maybe could help them manage in an effortless way these panic attacks.
This was definitely a possibility I was considering. I hope SA was not involved, but there did sound like some data points were in that direction :/
I was wondering the same thing, immediately when they read the story alarm bells went off in my head. I thought Morgan or Spencer would catch onto it.
@@michellexbeauty9832 exactly. And the for the ex to not date anyone all this time even tho before he was a serial cheater, but now he is depressed and so on, it seems like he might be suffering the consequenses of being a SA victim. I think if the ex participated willingly with BIL, he would be dating a lot now that he is single, but for him to behave 180 of what he was while being married, it doesnt add up unless SA happened with BIL...
Oh, holy fack! I feel bad for ex. I hope he gets some therapy.
I was thinking about the possibility that it was SA as well but I don't think ex wife is obligated to do anything other than what she was already planning on doing which is talk to him so he can go get help. The fact is he did cheat on her many times before so she is not obligated to go back to him because of what brother might have done. Also, she cut out brother so is not like she forgave her brother and not husband. If he gets help and comes to the realization itnwas not consensual and lets her know that can give them both closure and lead to healing and better coparenting.
Surprised no one mentioned yet that intentionally opening someone else's mail is a federal crime (at least if this is a US based story), whether or not you suspect someone is cheating.
Omg that was all I was thinking during that story. It’s literally illegal to open other people’s mail in the US. OP’s dangerously close to sharing a cell with the prison pen pal lol
@@pearlycomplaintsit's highly unlikely this person would ever actually be prosecuted though
@@goosewithagibus Yeah it's unlikely to actually be prosecuted in most scenarios, but it definitely makes them more of an asshole here lmao
@@ziggy_starz eh, I disagree. Laws aren't morals.
@@goosewithagibusNot saying that laws = morals but I'd be pissed if someone was opening my personal mail without asking.
Story 2 i don’t agree that he is the a hole. He has the right to give his opinion. He didn’t say “you can’t do that” he said he doesn’t agree with it. (At least that’s how i take that story) i think he has the right to his opinion but at the end of the day she has the choice to do what she please. Neither of them are an a hole. They are both just on different ends of the argument and that’s that.
Story 3: I was deathly scared of dogs as a kid. My parents never catered to my fear when it came to service dogs. They would try to calm me, say the dog was working, keep a good distance between us, but would never tell the person with the service dog to take the dog home. I even went to a friend's house who had a dog. They kept the dog out of the room mostly for my comfort but when they did let the dog in, I would go hide or move away from it. I never made my friend not have her dog in the room but they would not let it near me so I would be comfortable. My fear does not override other people's needs. Thankfully, I have since grown out of the fear but geez, it's a service dog. It cannot go home. That is ridiculus.
Story 5 was very validating. My ex told me I “dressed autistic-ly” or and that I’m not a “fashion girl” because I’m very temperature and sensitive to tight things. I always dress nice and simply and that stuck with me, I felt ugly and “othered”. He didn’t understand how hurtful that was. Literally so dense😀
(Also know being autistic isn’t an insult but he knew I was waiting to be assessed and said it on purpose)
Me checking back every five minutes to see if yall had uploaded yet because I had to see Spencer’s facial expressions 😂
Bring Spencer back!! I LOLed so hard at work with his reactions!
As a service dog user of 20 years, I appreciated your take on that story. It's not often you find people who understand that a service dog is legally noted as equivalent to a medical device as per federal law. So it was really heartening to hear you both discuss that!
SPENCER YES, WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU💖✨💖✨💖✨
(I am typing this as I'm HEAVILY elevated, bare with just found out I have endo. Prayers Prayers, sorrows😭😂)
Aww endo would hurt, hope you find something that works for you 🫶
Endo is ROUGH and is not easy to deal with at all. I have it as well. Support groups on socials help out a lot. Wishing you the best of luck with your journey (edit to add: love the bridgerton reference UGH im so excited for next month)
@@Babypixiemagikarp OH MY GOSH DID YOU SEE PENNY AND COLIN FLIRTING IM GAGGED!!!! Also thank you! What's the best platform to find a support group would you think? I'm not really super active on social media. Thank you so much for your well wishes, how do you manage your pain?
@@lyricmaloneriehl3483 thank you so much! So far nothing really WORKS I just kinda rot with a heating pack and some edibles 😭
@@KuromisBarcode I don’t want to sound like a hippie but have you tried spiritual healing if nothing has been working🤍 anyway I wish you the best
Story 6 reminds me of a short where an interviewer asked a few homeless men why they were homeless. All of them answered it was because their wife divorced them. It's just so f'ing typical. Not taking accountability for their own actions all the way to homelessness, wallowing in self pity. His wife leaves him BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN UNFAITHFUL multiple times, loses his job, on the edge of diabetes, and probably still blames her. She is an angel for staying in his life like that.
Morgan needs to drop a "No Makeup Makeup" Tutorial, pleeeeease
I envy her look literally every time I watch this pod as someone with a similar facial complexion
I would even pay if it was a Patreon only vid. I just wanna know her methods. She has the EXACT look I wanna learn, and I haven't found in the bazillion other tutorials I've watched.
6:06 NTA. I have a male friend in prison for drugs and I talk to him when he calls, but I'm also a wife and mom and pregnant. He is a Dad, and we talk for 20 minutes every couple weeks about how he's doing emotionally and missing his son and family. But my husband knows him, we never dated, and if he had an issue with it I wouldn't continue the communication. When I was dating my ex in early 20s we would write letters frequently, so it makes me think there's more going on than she claims.
Story 7: I have the unique perspective of being someone who lost a brother and is adopted.
It seems as though Amy hasn’t done the hard work of what it means to adopt a child. Many people view adopting as a last choice and don’t take the time to grieve the fact they can’t have biological children. Children can pick up on this and it can affect them a lot. If Amy and her husband want to adopt, they need to look into the experiences of adopted children and go to therapy and do the work. Where it seems she is now, any child they adopt will know that they are a “second choice.”
The best thing for Sam is to be open with him from a young age about the adoption. They say that children should be told before they can remember and it should always be talked about and open so there is never a time they don’t know they’re adopted.
OP did exactly the right thing for that child’s well-being.
As someone who lost a brother, the fact that Amy sort of sees her sisters death as an opportunity is gross. Though, everyone grieves differently and it may be helping Amy to focus on the “good” that can come from the tragedy.
I feel for all sides of the panic attack wedding situation. I agree with a lot of points that they made but I also started running hypotheticals. Like what if the sister had another disability that could disruptive to events? Like for example if she had Tourette’s and there was a risk of something coming over her that she couldn’t control. Would we give her grace in that scenario? Are people who have disabilities just supposed to never attend any big events or celebrations? Are the people celebrating these events always going to feel eclipsed by others needs on their day if they’re invited? Idk it’s a hard line to toe. I have a feeling though that if the sister was better at identifying the signs and excusing herself so it doesn’t turn into a scene maybe this wouldn’t have been a problem. I also feel like there is a solution here but everyone’s emotions are too heightened to find it. I wish there wasn’t so much pressure put on events like these.
I see what you mean. I hadn't considered something like touretts (sorry for the spelling). My stance is that the younger sister shouldn't go. Because her trigger is large crowds. If I understood the mom wrote that in the comments. Why should she put herself in a situation where she is triggered. Both the ceremony and the party are going to be one large crowd. In the example you mentioned. I would think that seating would play a factor. They could sit the person with touretts near a room for them to step out of during the ceremony while it passes. Then come back. In the party the need for quite isn't that big but the option to step out during maybe the speeches is there. Why I have the stance with the younger sister is that every big event has ended due to her panic attacks because large crowds are a trigger. I can see that the older sister just wants her wedding to be about her and her groom and wants to enjoy it with both her parents. Does it suck the younger sister can't be there yes but why be in a situation where you will be triggered? I mentioned that she could celebrate with her sister one on one. Or I don't know if the court ceremony happens the same day of the wedding but if they had a court wedding obviously much smaller with only close immediate family the sister could attend that ceremony. I just dont know the scale of what constitutes a large crowd for the daughter.
I've started to adore Spencewuah so much. I have been unlucky enough to ONLY learn who he is thanks to THT, but he has captured my whole heart. I hope he can keep being a guest!! 🥰 and super congrats on kicking vaping!! HUGE victory there!
Whenever Spencer is the guest, I AUTOMATICALLY KNOW the episode is gonna be 🔥🤣👌🏻 love him
Morgan, the blanket while wearing shoes is sending me 😭😭😭😭 I can’t stop staring at your feet it seems so weird lmao
Story 2… no one is the a-hole. She told him her plan. He doesn’t want that. It was a discussion between them and the relationship before they got engaged or married.
If you are going to adopt a child, you have to let them know eventually.
I would give the option, I would tell them that at a certain age and then also tell them if they want to know more they can, especially in this situation since it's his sister
My six year old cousin was afraid of dogs to the point he’d jump onto the kitchen cupboards if my sisters toy poodle went near him. To begin with we’d carry him or keep the dog distracted but made it clear this was the dogs house and she wouldn’t hurt anyone. We just stayed calm and acted like dogs are no big deal, and within a month or so cousin was running into the house to cuddle our other cousins red cattle dog. Feeding kids phobias just makes things worse
story 6: WOW. this one hit a tender spot. i’m the now adult (f24) daughter of a man who also “fell apart” after my mom and him divorced. after the split his health declined slowly at first then all at once. he had started hanging around not great people, he became an alcoholic, and due to an back injury lost his job and then following his 😊apartment . long story short, he ended up passing away due to liver failure. i was 16, my sister 14, and my brother 11. so i guess im coming the perspective of the worst outcome, so bear with me. i think talking to the family is absolutely the move. see if there is a shift in the next few months. if nothing changes then i think say something directly, but definitely from the “for the sake of our children and yourself”. it’s a hard conversation regardless. it’s one i’ve unfortunately had myself. children pick up on a lot and i know OPs child is 4 so this is a bit different. but whether he was guilty and deserved the divorce doesn’t mean you wish ill and worst case death. and i promise if it is the worst case scenario, you will regret not saying anything. not that it’s your responsibility and with lots of therapy and time i know this deeply. but just for the sake of your own heart and your daughters, have the hard conversations if things continue down a dark path. sometimes we forget how fleeting life can be.
Story 2: OP is NTA... He's totally right in what he's saying. Yes, it's her body, but her having a planned pregnancy for someone else is definitely a decision that she should make with her husband/partner. He made valid points. She doesn't need to ask for permission, it's just wild that she wouldn't ask her partner if they were comfortable with it. Pregnancy affects everyone in the household. There's also so many things that could go wrong.
Story 7, is nobody else curious about the husband’s criminal record?? Did I imagine that or miss when they talked about it??
That part
on the dog story: I hate the people with dogs, not service animals just regular dogs think they could take their dog everywhere. For example, my cousin has a dog and we have family gatherings at my house. She brings her little lap dog and I have a cat my cats don’t play that and I’m allergic to dogs. They literally make my throat close if I don’t take allergy medicine, so I get pissed off because why are you bringing an animal to my house without asking?
Dang that's insane, if someone did that in my home they'd be kicked out. I have an eldery pet that was rescued from a horrible situation it's a miracle we still have her after thousands of dollars in vet bills. I'd totally kick out someone for bringing an animal that'd stress my elderly pet! Let alone making your throat close up OMG
I feel like you putting dog owners in the same category is wild lol cause I wouldn't take my dog every where and he's small, if I'm going to someone's house I usually don't bring him cause why would I lol the only house I take him to is my parents house because my brother dog is there and they're best friends lol or just car rides to to corner store or pick up food
I also have a cat who's an asshole but he's cute so it's okay lol
I don't know how to feel about his friends vaping in front of him. I'd never do something similar to a friend who's trying to quit *anything*
Story #2 I have had a similar situation happen to me and my fiancé. Almost 3yrs ago my sister in laws (my fiancé’s sister is married to another woman and her wife is like another sister to him) asked if he would be okay to donate his sperm to them. He was all for it but stated he would talk to me about it first. I said no. I’m not going to explain myself to strangers on the internet BUT I did tell him that if he wanted to go forth with this then we would not be together. He understood my reasons and understood that I would choose to leave. Because we are a team he decided that if everyone is not okay with this then he would not proceed. After he relays this info his sisters were enraged and very upset and after a bit calmed down but wanted to know my reasons. We stayed with them as we had a wedding to attend in their state so we had a sit down conversation. During this conversation I was disrespected and constantly talked over. Even my fiancé was upset by how childish they acted. Since then we have not talked much and they have not apologized on how they acted. But go ahead and call me the asshole. They still have options to adopt and get another sperm donor.
I do have a question, and I honestly don't expect an answer, so don't feel like you have to. If his sperm was going into (I would hope) the one his sister married, what exactly was the issue? All his rights would've been signed away, which means, depending where you live, any obligations would've also been negated. I guess I just don't understand what the problem was unless they wanted to do it the "old fashioned" way. Then I can understand an issue. When I found out that's how my ex did it, it took me a while to trust him again, because he didn't disclose that bit of info. I found out from her sister, not even him.
Spencer is one of my faves! His reactions r top tier and exactly wat I am thinking
My favorite guest- the big loud reactions and then a quiet “sorry” is perfect
As someone who has had multiple service dogs over the past 8 years i have met 100s of kids who were scared of dogs and either them or one of there parents will walk up and ask if they can say hi or pet them and if i'm feeling good i totally let them say hi, and i've had many kids help there fear of dogs because of them! Plus it's great training experience for our dogs to learn how to behave around small kids screaming, running around, grabbing them, etc because it does happen in public with loose feral kids lol. Also i've been bitten and chased by dogs in grocery store (ITS THE WORST in target and walmart aka hellmart in the service dog community) way to many times its unbelievable! But, PLEASE advocate for service dog handlers for anyone reading this if you see someone with a dog in a store and theres a sign saying service dogs only ask two questions 1.) is that a service dog? 2.) what task is it trained to do to help medicate your disability? ( Ex. cardiac alert, psychiatric alert and response, seizure alert, diabetic alert, allergen alert, and more ) if they say it's an emotional support animal they do not have public access rights because they do not have at least 3 years of training. if you got to the end of this you are strong, beautiful, and an amazing person, may yours and everyone around you day be better!
2. Story: Honestly he is not that wrong. Yes its your body your choice but its not like having a tattoo or wearing a mini skirt. Were talking about carrying a baby for a family member. There can be complications, its a nine month dedication and it definietly gonna effect their marriage life so yeah he has a little bit right to interfere but maybe with a different tone.
The issue is acting like he gets the final choice when they are only dating. Bro wants husband input as a boyfriend.
@@atheteusalexopoulos6876 well he is a dumbass i dont doubt it. i was just pissed when they said “its her body her choice end of the discussion” no its more than that.
@@atheteusalexopoulos6876How is he acting like it’s his final choice? He simply pointed out that since it’s a HUGE commitment that will affect them both, his input should be heard as well. The GIRLFRIEND is the one who said there was no room for discussion.
My issue is that everyone is acting like "marriage path" is all a guy needs to say and his girlfriend is his property. If he wants husband privileges he needs to step up. As if, if a guy told me "This is what you are going to do and if you disagree I will never marry you" I would laugh at him. It's like when doctors refuse to sterilize women who aren't married because "what if your future husband wants a baby" women do not belong to their future husbands. So him trying to leverage married to force her out of it makes him TAH. He should just leave without trying to blackmail her.
@@mae_liii It is crazy to act like girlfriend NEEDS to compromise on this. They aren't compatible as people. If it were something small I would say sure, compromise with a boyfriend but this is a lifelong commitment and a HUGE deal. It is literally the birth of her niece or nephew. She is suppose to compromise on that for a guy she is only dating? That is insane.
27:32 were you silent or were you SILENCED? Justin got muted LOL
Story 7: hear me out... Amy slipped something in the sister's drink to give her a stroke, kill her and take her son. There are many true crime stories where something very similar does happen.
Given how she was going about it after I wouldn't put it past her. She was that desperate to be a mom. That's so scary if it's true.
Holy crap I didn't think of this and you are so right that definitely could have happened!
😱
Ngl I had a similar thought. Like maybe she was overcome with jealousy that after her struggles and eventual complete infertility her sister just had a baby so easily (after a one night stand). It is kinda sus that her sister with a new baby died so unexpectedly. Then her wanting to just erase any history of her sister being Sam's birth mom? Very sus.
Story 2: Everyone sucks here. I think she’s completely in her right to do that for her sister, but he is also in his right for him to not want to go through this with someone who wants to do that. To me, this is the same as if the husband promised to provide semen to his sister / brother.
They both should have been nicer and more respectful of each others choices. But totally within the realm of able to decide what they want to do.
As a woman who had fertility issues and finally had a baby in December I think there was no assholes in story 2. I don’t think the girl in the story truly understands the commitment of pregnancy and how much it can change the rest of your life. The amount of complications you can have temporarily and permanently are huge. Also the amount of assistance or care that maybe needed during or after the pregnancy is something to consider.
My own pregnancy as an example: I had horrible morning sickness and was basically bed bound the first 17 weeks. I lost 40lbs in my pregnancy. My husband had to do all of the house work and food management for us. Then I developed gestational diabetes, which can give you permanent type two diabetes. Then I developed preeclampsia which hospitalized me for 3 weeks before having an emergency c section to deliver my daughter. Preeclampsia can also still develop into eclampsia for weeks after birth and like 8% of women develop permanent heart issues afterwards. These are all very real things that happen to people and can have very real lasting complications.
I think it is an important conversation to have as a couple and really discuss everything that can happen. If they haven’t had kids yet, are they willing to risk not having any of their own potentially if she develops complications or has damage from delivery? Is the husband able to provide the care needed? Also the logistics, the would the sister cover medical expenses and other associated expenses?
I think the guy had a weird vibe with the way he went about the conversation but I don’t think he’s wrong in thinking it needs to be a conversation and the decision made together. It is not a decision made in a vacuum and needs to be treated as serious as it is.
All that being said surrogates are incredible and it’s a beautiful sacrifice to make for someone you love. You just need to make sure you are prepared and as ready as you can be.
I really appreciate your point of view. I do think the OP is generally an ah but not really in regards to the actual question. Morgan and Spencer's view are very short sited.
I know from when my mom was pregnant with me she was bed ridden for 6 months because after the first trimester the placenta had an issue with detaching from the uterine wall which cause a lot of blood lose.
I think the girlfriend should really consider revisiting the offer after having her own child or children. The doctor might not approve if she doesn't have children already as proof she can carry a successful pregnancy
I love that Spencer is a frequent guest now he’s my fav
Regarding surrogacy.. No AHoles. She needs to understand that that is a HUGE thing. It's not just a my body thing. It's time off of work- financial loss. It's him having to support her physically and emotionally. And as a mom of 4, you never know what type(s) of complications will come. What would happen if she delivered and then needed an emergency hysterectomy? What if she passed away? This is a convo for the couple to have.. not just a 1 person decision.
Exactly! What if this makes her not able to have any more children, id say they should have had a long conversation about pros and cons and neither of them should have acted that way and if they can really not agree to any terms they they should split
I usually don't disagree with a take (or comment, I listen on Spotify) but for the last story, I agree NTA for Mom going even though sister isn't invited but I thought of some other options because of how important weddings are in many cultures
-sister rehearses a game plan when she gets panic attack at the venue
-A community member who can calm her down sits by her the entire time (back of church or venue)
-Chooses a specific room to meditate and decompress in or someone live streams it for her to watch
-be there only for pictures while guests are at cocktail hour
To me, completely not inviting her just drives the wedge more and is essentially hiding your disabled family member because of something they can't control. Obviously knowing your triggers and planning ahead is essential but it just made me feel bad as someone who was extremely anxious my sister's wedding week (We're Nigerian)
That is not fair for the people taking care of her to miss out on the event just for taking care of the girl the entire time. I think the only probably solution for it would be for her to have a service dog that could help detect when an episode will happen so they can act ahead of time to deescalate the situation. But Idk how close the date of the wedding is, so there might not be enough time to get that kind of dog
The younger sister should understand that while she can't control her panic attacks, this is how her life would be. As a neurodivergent i understand that i won't be able to do things or experience things as someone whose neurotypical, it's hard but life ain't easy.
I’m probably on my own here, but the ableism on display in the discussion of the last story in the podcast and the reddit comments was really disappointing. Not at all surprising but still disappointing. There are ways around these things and access and inclusion should be the aim, not that it’s all too hard.
how is that fair to literally anyone else?
@@alantorres3601 I was referring to someone not part of the wedding party being an aide to her. 1 person to rehearse an exit plan or chill with her not in the venue until it's time for photos. weddings are one of the best places for family photos. she should be allowed to be a part of that at the least.
idk with story # 2:taking care of a pregnant woman WOULD be a lot of work for a husband, especially when she's taking it on as a favor.., so essentially for free.
it would be a big undertaking for him too... a lot of emotional labor and extra hidden chores and expenses. it's not just a cute little thing this woman should do.
you'd be signing HIM up for a whole new role in the relationship without even asking him, just TELLING him. sounds like a shit deal, if you put yourself in the husbands shoes.
Sure, her body her choice, but yeah, i'd have to agree, his relationship his choice. he's totally not the asshole for drawing the line there.
Completely agree. Being pregnant is a LOT of work for the woman and man in a relationship. It will effect her body, her work, ability to do certain things etc. I don't even think there was really an issue with his delivery and don't find it to be shaming her in any way. I do think there are a fair amount (idk about most) of men who wouldn't be comfortable with this. And one person in a comment section of reddit saying they were willing to, doesn't mean the majority would be.
He's not her husband LOL so we really gonna tell,women they now have to starting living their loves for their potential husbands?
My issue is that everyone is acting like "marriage path" is all a guy needs to say and his girlfriend is his property. If he wants husband privileges he needs to step up. As if, if a guy told me "This is what you are going to do and if you disagree I will never marry you" I would laugh at him. It's like when doctors refuse to sterilize women who aren't married because "what if your future husband wants a baby" women do not belong to their future husbands. So him trying to leverage married to force her out of it makes him TAH. He should just leave without trying to blackmail her.
“No offense lady you’re crazy” 😂😂😂 Spencer cracks me up
I think Story #2 with the sister offering to carry a baby for her sister is something that needs to be discussed more. My fiancé and I were only dating when we had this conversation about surrogacy (and sperm donation), and it was a long conversation about the pros/cons and the of why we thought one way or another.
I'd say ESH just due to the fact that the GF dropped this on him as a matter-of-fact way (from OP's POV), and OP's judgmental undertones of carrying someone else's child in her body. It's something that there really is no compromise as you can't do it 50/50, but there is a compromise within the conversation and outcome. They need to put the work into this conversation or figure out if this is what they cut ways over--which if you threaten to leave, then just leave. Don't hold that over someone's head like this OP does. It's immature.
GOOD JOB SPENCER! So proud of you!
story 8: nta
if the sister who has panic attacks wants to go to the wedding, she should be there VIRTUALLY so she can disconnect/hung up if she has one.
also the bride has the right to invite/non invite who ever she wants.
just to let yall know, justin’s mic didn’t have any audio during your sponsor!
but im excited to be so early to a video, especially one with spencer! 💃🏼
Last Story~ My daughter (18)has extreme panic attacks and has been in therapy for years. My other daughter(23) was getting married last year, and my youngest made the decision on her own that she was either just going to the wedding only or we would stream it for her to watch at home. We can't predict beforehand how she is going to feel on a future date. However, we are able to identify triggers for her anxiety.
This womans daughter is completely different than mine. My daughter wouldn't want to be in an environment that would increase her chances of a panic attack. That alone would give her anxiety before we even left the house. They are embarrassing for her. She has never given us an ultimatum. Her daughter sounds manipulative.
First story: my sister found out she has PCOS when she was like 10 and they told her she might not be able to have kids so it’s very possible to know young.
The woman was younger than her sister right? So if the sister was ten she was at least a year younger, what 9 year old (or younger) even knows what surrogacy is much less is able to make an informed decision on it
@@riahw3750I really doubt kids that age were using the word surrogate. I would imagine the convo went more like “my doctor told me I can’t have babies” and the sister replied “don’t worry you can have one of my babies” or something like that. It’s much more realistic that they had this convo rather than throwing around the word surrogate.
I love when Spencer is co-hosting! It NEEDS to happen more often! Also, hearing him call the guy in story 5 a dipshit literally made my day! My exact thoughts on this story were conveyed through Spencer's reactions and comments! #SpencerAllTheTimeonTHT!!!!
Last /8. story: the little sister needs to learn that health issues come with having to restrict ones life style. She can’t expect to be allowed at every event when she always ruins them, especially because it effects other people.
Sober people restrict their environment to things they can handle without falling back into their addiction. People with nut allergies restrict their diet to nut-free food. Little sis needs to restrict her environment to events she can handle, maybe attending small gatherings and slowly working towards bigger ones can help her but until then stay away from big gatherings.
The fact you're comparing mental health to an addiction is interesting... One is voluntary while the other is not. She wanted to support her sister. The fact that people don't realize that people with anxiety still want to be included. Saying her panic attack ruined the vibe and no one thought. "Let's just remove her for a moment until she can calm down." Really bothers me because it feels dehumanizing. You ruined the vibe, over a condition her family KNEW about, where is the support for the sister???
@@Cecil1213 addictions are in equal parts caused by genetic and environmental factors so addictions are by no means voluntary. But I get your point that the sister needs support instead of being shunned from family events. I just believe that it is not fair for all events to have to be either altered to fit little sisters needs or be disrupted by little sister.
We don't have little sisters side of the story nor knowledge about if what OP is observing in all these events is 100% true. The sister could have ill intentions and is intentionally disrupting events or could be seeking attention. The same way she could be truly trying to do her best and just not recognise her breaking point. As someone who has gotten panik attacks out of nowhere I get that this can happen and she might be feeling bad about it too. She gets them so often tho that at some point there needs to be a change. Events being constantly disrupted by her and there being no improvement done on it is cause, in my opinion, for the hosts to consider everyones enjoyment who's attending the event (in regards to disrupting or not disrupting events that is; it is stated that she had improved in the amount of attacks experienced per day which is in this context not relevant). The little sister needs to be able to handle the events or be able to recognise where her breaking point is. That's what mental health professionals are there for, to help her get better.
For the panic attack story- I have panic disorder as well. At one point I was having multiple panic attacks a day like I’d even have to pull over while driving to get myself out of a panic attack. I’ve come a long way since (thank god for Zoloft lol) but I know how hard it’s gotta be for the girl having the panic attacks. (Also I agree with not understanding how the engagement party was that hijacked- I mean even now when I have panic attacks if I’m in a public place I 1) try to identify it before it gets too bad so I can get somewhere safe, 2) or find a spot where I can sit down (cause if I don’t I’ll feel like I’m ab to pass out like idc I’ll sit on the ground if I have to 3) I know my coping strategies and start on them as soon as I can- reminding myself it’s a panic attack and I’m okay, watching my breathing, finding ways to ground myself and get back to reality and that’s all stuff I can do in my own. It does help to have someone to talk to me to help me ground or to remind me to like mind my breathing, drink water, etc, but that’s just one person I need because anymore would get overwhelming (I imagine the same would be true for this girl.)
The best option would be for her to sit somewhere in the back where she can slip out if need be, but also have another individual she can trust and finds to be safe to know how to talk her out of it whenever it does happen so that the parents can be present for the wedding as well or for the girl to not go to the ceremony but go to the reception. I don’t think the mom is necessarily an asshole but if I were her I’d try to sit the girls down and talk this out and get them to see eye to eye more so for the sake of their relationship like yes it’s her wedding her day but I’d hate if this happened with me with my panic attacks and it’d be heart shattering for me to not be able to be there for my siblings big day and support them
The attitude of Morgan especially was very disappointing.
@@Tulipgirl77777How? Younger sister is responsible for herself, she should deal with her attacks without disturbing anybody else. Older sister has every right to invite whoever she wants and not invite someone, who she isn’t close with.
For Spencer talking about how his mom got invalidated by doctors when she was in labor!!! It’s so true! I had a high risk pregnancy as my son had 3 critical heart defects and needed OHS shortly after birth. I was being seen at a top level hospital and was set to give birth where there was a level 4 NICU. Since this hospital was over an hour from my house I constantly went for every little sign of labor as my baby’s life depended on it. The night before I gave birth I knew I was in labor and it was time. The doctors dismissed me and sent me home. The next day I went in and gave birth, luckily I didn’t listen to what they tried to tell me was my ‘new normal’ and now I have an almost two year old sleeping next to me
Last story: What if OP found a church that had a "nursing room" for mothers? The older daughter could be getting married in the sanctuary, and the sister could have panic attacks galore in the nursing room. Sometimes the nursing room has a live feed of the sanctuary. Sometimes it has one way glass looking into the sanctuary. They could also live stream the wedding and have the younger sister set up in another room away from the crowds?
I'm not doubting that the panic attacks are real. But at this point, the younger sister seems to be milking it a bit. She's basically ruining all big events for her older sister and that really sucks.
story 2: i think the difference between that story and the first comment they read is that in the story, the girlfriend had already decided she wanted to be her sister’s surrogate *before* marriage. in the comment, the wife made that decision *after* they were married. op was just weird in that one
Story 1. I can understand why this would make you upset. But one a key factors with IVF is that there is rigorous questioning and testing that someone has to go through before someone will be accepted as a surrogate. One of the questions who will get you automatically denied is “do you plan to have kids if your own?”. IVF and surrogacy can cause infertility and reproductive injury . So if OP does what kids with her than this situation could greatly impact that. I think he’s a young dumb guy who mishandled the conversation with his gf but there are lots of things that could go wrong as a surrogate that could cause OP and his GF to not be able to have kids of their own. So she would seriously need to lay out her priorities and maybe plan to have her own kids first (coming from someone whos considering surrogacy for a family friend)