The Women Men Don't See - People Watching Season 2, Episode 7
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- čas přidán 8. 10. 2018
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The Stalker is the most fascinating thing about this video, because he underlines the central point of the video. Martha knows he's there - probably has one eye on him the entire night. For that reason she stays very close to Ted, holding his hand, making sure that they go everywhere together and do not separate until she gets to her front door, stalker-free. Yet she never mentions it, because if she did she knows Ted would want to do something about it and that absolutely is not what she wants to happen. She says as much in the last few lines - there's stuff she'll never tell him because she doesn't want him to feel sorry for her, treat her like a victim, or think he's a bad person [either for taking action or not taking action]. Nice piece of storytelling.
Adam Gauntlett wow I can’t believe I didn’t get that you really illuminated that point that I was trying to figure out
Thank you for helping me realize what that was about
The fact that she has a fake name on Facebook maybe even insinuates that the stalker is an abusive ex...
That's exactly my impression. The stalker is her ex. "Sally McFakename."
Kind of a dick move leaving him to walk home alone with the stalker around and not even tell him. Stranger stalkers usually harm third parties, but NBD I'm sure he'll be fine. Being bulletproof is another perk of male privilege :P
a comedian got the catcalling thing pretty well "don't say anything to a woman in the street that you would'nt want to hear in a prison cell"
Thats a good one :P sounds like something Bill Burr would say.
I know your trying to apply the golden rule here. Know there are guys that like that sort of attention to be directed to themselves too. So in a way it encourages them as they see no wrong.
Or if you’re a straight guy (who isn’t a homophobe), don’t do anything you wouldn’t be okay with a guy doing to you.
Most guys I know would be chill and even a little flattered if a guy asked to buy them a drink or asked them out, and then respectfully backed off when told.
But if you’re a straight guy, would you be okay with men catcalling you? Sending you dick pics and lewd suggestions? Not backing off in a bar when told ‘no’ the first time?
Of course not. You’d be mad. You’d think ‘what’s wrong with you, asshole? I said no. why are you making this into a needlessly unpleasant situation?’
You’d probably wonder if this guy is getting off on making you sexually uncomfortable and that would probably make you mad.
Basically yeah. Just imagine a guy doing to you whatever you plan to do to a woman.
While I get the point that's trying to be made, that would mean I couldn't say anything to a woman in the street. I'd rather people ignore the hell out of me in prison.
@@BabyofDeath_OwO that's kind of the point. Women don't want you to approach them in the street. It's fucking creepy.
Being followed even when you are with someone is unfortunately a thing. I'm glad they showed that.
And you think that's only happening to females?
Creepy guy in the park who thought teenage at the time me and my friend were sex workers a, tried offer to pay us (with expired bus transfer cards) and followed us until we went into Arby's down two streets r/letsnotmeetagain.
@@outsideworld76 literally no one said that. Stop trying to find issues where there aren't any.
@High Overlord Snarffie Beagle you're a clown
@High Overlord Snarffie Beagle Go fuck yourself you piece of shit
"someone corners you and you have to nice yourself out of it.." Truth.
Hate how it's a thing in movies
Eyes, throat, groin, kneecaps, top of foot.
These are the weak points on any human. Just in case nice doesn't work.
@@faolan1686 and in case those defense tactics doesn't work, prepare for the worst
@@Somespideronline. Do as much damage as you can. It mean the cops just have find which ER he went to.
@@faolan1686 true
This was so sweet. I love how understated it is when the male character is looking at his friend's myface page and sees her name is fake. He's got this dawning realization that what his friend is not saying is just as telling as what she is saying.
You do know that this those characters are fictional right? they aren't real and you should take it with a grain of salt.
Gael Cortez It’s an example, from what? An example from people, people who have experienced this. Duh!
I did the same thing almost half my life. I never told any of my friends (until very recently) that I was sexually assaulted as a minor, but I kind of tried to mention it in hypothetical speech, just to check out how they'd react and whether they cared about the subject in general. I was just testing the waters, but when I finally came forward, it still blew their minds, even though metoo was already happening for months.
@@valhalla1240,
Sadly, your revelation portrays a large part of why sexual abuse exists. The strong fear and social inhibitions to communicate with others (let alone the people that could resolve the issue) serves to enable the perpetrator of the abuse. When what is done in secret, remains a secret ... no consequence is experienced by those responsible. Thus, the underlying mental illness that drives the abuser goes unchecked, unpunished, and unnoticed. Additionally, the "success" of the abusive behavior serves as an invitation to the perpetrator to repeat the actions that harm others.
There is only one solution to sexually abusive behavior. The victim needs to communicate what is occurring, to those with the authority to intervene.
@@marshalllhiepler my perpetrator was a minor. In my home country you don't get any punishment until the age of 21. Talking about it would have killed me, since I grew up in a strictly conservative and religous environment. People would have blamed me. This issue is way too complex to find 1 solution to it all. My solution was to learn how to talk about it online, before I could talk about it offline. And since it felt right to me, it _was_ exactly right. That's all that matters.
Just noticed that She had to bring Ted to pay her rent to the landlord because he’s so creepy
Okay that I missed.
@@manticoraus it makes sense when remembering her talk about yea I don't get street harassed when your with me because it's common sense in general if a guy who cat calls a woman sees her walking with a man he's gonna assume that's her boyfriend ir husband and will know to back off
Safety doesnt equal good looks and dating possibilities.
i love how there is nothing about him that would suggest he is actually creepy, but everyone says he is lmao
@@NoName-ym5zj yeah he just looks like a fat dude, I don’t get it
When she talked about having to "nice" her way out of a situation, I so felt that.
And you think man don't have that same issue?
@@outsideworld76 no one said that just that this video focusses on women. I wouldnt go on a mens issue video and bash it for not including women...
@@kimberlyjones8152 what's stopping you?
@@outsideworld76 common decency
Big dog, little dog. This isn't a male /female situation. This is why men and women work out in jail or prison.
Basically, bulling doesn't only happen to women.
“When the whole floor is eggshells you stop giving a shit”. Definitely this. “
To the creator: I like the fact that you added the creep guy in the background but didn’t do anything because wether you meant for it to or not that made its own point without him saying a word. A stalker doesn’t have to physically do anything to make a situation scary. Just the fact that they’ve there following you is enough to make someone not want to go outside. Thanks for the video though i really dig this kinda content, an unspoken social issue is always interesting to hear about. New to the channel but staying around 👍🏻
God, I hate stalkers.
Or maybe it was her abusive ex?
this comment made me even more scared of my stalker
@@sdobitoo it was. That's why at the end of the video her fake profile name is the exact same one that she used on her explanation
Else where ins this comment section, @Adam Gauntlett said, "The Stalker is the most fascinating thing about this video, because he underlines the central point of the video. Martha knows he's there - probably has one eye on him the entire night. For that reason she stays very close to Ted, holding his hand, making sure that they go everywhere together and do not separate until she gets to her front door, stalker-free. Yet she never mentions it, because if she did she knows Ted would want to do something about it and that absolutely is not what she wants to happen. She says as much in the last few lines - there's stuff she'll never tell him because she doesn't want him to feel sorry for her, treat her like a victim, or think he's a bad person [either for taking action or not taking action]. Nice piece of storytelling."
One of the best sides of watching this show is reading everything in the background
fangirling time
Thanks, now I missed half of what they were saying
That's one of the main reasons I watch it, the animation is really good as well.
"ah, ten minutes, I have time for this one!"
no you don't
My pharmacy is ALWAYS OUT of Moose Wash
right?
Martha is aware that the odd guy who approached her in a bar at about 3:12 is following her and will not call her male friend's attention to that fact. (As with other forms of harassment, decent guys are usually oblivious. They don't do it. They don't expect it.) This is a common thing among women who have been harassed on the street, in a bar or club, been felt up, groped, assaulted. They don't tell male friends or relatives. They worry that telling them will only escalate things.
If I may relate some thoughts on the worst of such cases, rape, but it can be applied to these other situations as well. Men often do not know what to do if told about such violations of their female relatives/friends. Offering to or threatening to kill the rapist is not likely helping the rape victim. In fact, YOU might be hurt or killed. I get that men feel helpless when a loved one admits that he or she has been raped but declaring your desire to kill my attacker-in some misguided attempt at chivalry-doesn't make me feel better. I've been raped.
Similarly, threatening to fight that guy who screamed, "Nice Tits!" at me on the street or the guy who grabbed my Ass or Breasts in a club won't really help. You'll likely get hurt or in trouble with the law and now I get to feel bad that I didn't just keep my big mouth shut and wonder what I did to deserve all of this.
Nothing will change what happened, whether it was mere cat-calling or worse. I've lost something, and I don't mean my unsullied virginity. More, I've lost a bit of faith in the world, that we're all basically decent. (Yes, I realise that that is naive but most people convince themselves that they are good and bad things just don't happen to good people, so don't tell me I'm alone in my naïveté and what's the alternative to being a bit naive anyway? Living your life in constant fear that terrible things WILL happen?) This can mostly be applied to any such violation, not just rape. We don't like to call attention to it, generally, because you don't just want to listen, you want to ACT. And in acting, you may be taken away from me or alternately, be more distant emotionally because you can't act because I am afraid for you and you won't just sit with me and listen because it will remind you of your impotence.
I need you to be there. Be that Daddy who always held me when I fell. Be those older brothers who always made me laugh and protected their baby sister. Be those friends who always included me in their fun. BE THERE. Don't shut me out and act all uncomfortable around me because of what happened. I have to pretend to be O.K. You need to at least try to pretend to be O.K. with me.
Killing my rapist won't help me and now I have to worry that you will do something stupid and I'll lose you too. And that I can't confide in you because you'll try to fix my problems, and in the worst possible way. Be there. Please don't go away and leave me all alone.
(sorry for the long post, I felt I needed to say it, not just for me but any guys wondering why we wouldn't tell you.)
Thank you for telling us this, I'm glad you typed out this long post. I guess all a woman wants is for the guy to just listen, and just be there for a woman to talk to. Thank you for telling us this, I'm a guy and I'm oblivious to this kind of shit. Yes, I'm that fucking stupid but now I'm a little smarter for knowing this, so thank you. ❤❤❤
Much as I understand what you're saying and where you're coming from, I have to point out that it is, always has been, and likely always will be, a man's natural response to try and solve what we perceive as a problem, especially when it has what we think is a fairly obvious solution. Men, in general, are fixers. It's how we're wired, it's how thousands of years of evolution has shaped us. It's not only that it makes us feel important and powerful, it's literally how we show that we care. You're having a problem, we solve, or help you solve, that problem. That, to most men, is what it means to care. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm just trying to explain the perspective of the average man, so we can each have a better understanding of each other.
@@cirrustate8674 that is wonderful! Thank you so much for explaining, and yes you are right! Men are fixers!
I’m glad you shared that with us. I couldn’t began to imagine what you went through but I want you to know that you are still a beautiful person and NO ONE can take that away. As a man who grew up around mostly women I heard a lot of horror stories and as I became a man I tried to be the person that wasn’t like those guys I heard about. I just wanted to say thank you for your story and I will try to have even more understanding about my female friends and others. Thank You and I hope you’re doing well.
@Grey Muldoon I'm not sure if you misunderstood what I wrote. I was attempting to say that ALL relationships are affected: "Be that Daddy who always held me when I fell. Be those older brothers who always made me laugh and protected their baby sister. Be those friends who always included me in their fun."
so, I'll try to explain better.
When you are raped, sometimes your FATHER wants to get revenge for you. I don't/didn't need that, because, as I said, I would then worry that he would get hurt or commit a crime and go to jail. And I'd lose him. I needed my father, who was clearly uncomfortable with the topic at hand, that I had been violated, to be my same father. The same one I had BEFORE the rape. In my case, pardon me but I call him by the diminutive, "Daddy", perhaps that was confusing. Not implying some sort of submissive sexual thing with a boyfriend.
Similarly, from the above quote, I needed my older brothers, (3 of them), to continue to be older brothers. And friends to continue to be friends. BE THERE. It's that simple. Don't shut the victim out and act all uncomfortable around him or her because of what happened. Be there. Please don't go away and leave me all alone.
The not catcalling when a man is with them thing is real. I experienced it in New York City when the crowds had me walking farther behind my girlfriend than usual. People that would blend into the background and be forgotten when walking closer to her suddenly became talkative.
I mean, duh. Even if their method to try and get women doesn't work, they are going to try and take a shot. Even if you weren't the boyfriend, they will assume you are if you're with the chick.
I don't know if it makes a difference, I was on a date with a 6'6 guy and😊 still got catcalled. Funny thing was he never even noticed 😂
One of the reasons I love this show is because these are the kinds of conversations I have with my bf when we get fries at some fast food place after watching a movie, and watching these vids has given us conversation starters more than once. We don't even have to agree with the show or with eachother, just thinking about these topics, chatting, debating, listening to someone else's opinions and coming to our own conclusions is really great
Same here, I would have these conversations with my best guy friend and we could literally talk for 12+ hours about everything. Well now he's become my boyfriend and we still talk about it all but more of it is not in clothing, and really it's the best relationship I've ever had
I know right
But they talked about OKC, that site is trash, unless you want to hook up with a crazy feminist, and they always have some weird/awkward fetish. Or they end up just groping me till I have sex with them. But if I did anything like what is usually done to me, I'd be in prison lol
@@nathhenn8966 I honestly have no idea about dating sites or anything, I don't do online dating (that sounds pretty horrible tho but it feels like they just wanted to name drop a known site). I was just talking about how they cover interesting topics on this show even if one doesn't agree with what they're saying. You can be 100% against their opinions but still find it to be an interesting topic to talk about and debate
@@lenlaegrim it sucks don't, I'm sure some of this is true but most of the women I meet are super desperate because the women will spend months after guys out of their league then when they give a guy in their league a try they expect way to much and will get activity pissed off if they don't get what they specifically want.
Did I talk about the morbidly obese woman that got PISSED OFF at me because I had a pic from my time in the army but it was back in 2010, (not even my main pic) and I was already honorably discharged.
Wow, the timing of stumbling across this is insane.
I went to a concert on Thursday night with a very attractive female friend of mine and for the first time, witnessed directly some of the BS she probably has to put up with on the regular.
Between the guys asking me if she was 'my girl' to the guys trying to rub up on her while she was just trying to enjoy the concert. It connects directly to some of what was communicated in this video. At one point, I was literally herding these two guys away from her, and doing my best to accomplish that without her noticing, as I didn't want them or my actions to distract her from enjoying the moment.
One had the audacity to say, "It looks like she can defend herself," to which I responded, "You're damn right she can, but you've got no fucking right to put her in a position where she feels that's necessary."
And in this day and age, I realized when she'd headed to the bathroom and left her drink with me that not only was it a demonstration of trust, but that while I'm used to not giving a shit or having to worry, I actually had an obligation to actively watch her drink (and my own) and make sure that no douche bag put something in it while I was enjoying the show, because I wouldn't put it past them to dose one or both drinks to either try and incapacitate her, but instead dosing me, or fuck us both up to get me out of the picture and her to wherever.
I'm gonna have to watch this a few times to get everything out of it, I think.
Wish you were my boyfriend
TehMvnk good on you bro, I’m glad she wasn’t hurt
You're a good friend. Nice going.
@@kiritsyuti8373 That's sweet of you to say, and thank you. I promise though, there's a whole lot about me that's less than ideal, I can guarantee you that.
@@oh6489 - I'm glad about that too. The thing that has kind of gotten into my head now that some time has passed is that while there is a part of me that wants to worry that I can't always be there to look out for her, that's not really what she'd actually want, so when we're out and about, it's something I keep in mind depending on the environment, but not a 'worry', so much as a matter of being observant.
There was something in the video that confused me at first. The point where she grabs his hand and leads him away. I thought the point was to highlight the caution that women in particular have to act with when they are in "bad" neighbourhoods at night. But when they went back later I realized.
She knew the weird guy was following them and she didn't want him to know where her apartment was or, worse, corner her when she was alone. But Ted stopped cause that was it for their hanging out for the night, so she had to lead him away.
Wow.
Yep. I've circled the block a time or two in order to avoid a creepy guy. There was one time I was getting my truck fixed and this dude kept hitting on me in the worst way possible since it was obvious he was far more interested in my curves than my conversation. Unfortunately his car got fixed at the same time as my truck, so we both got our vehicles at the same time. He was going in the same direction as me, behind me, so I actually went through a drive-thru to try and shake him off so he couldn't follow me home.
When I lived in Vegas it was quite literally a daily thing being followed. I didn't drive I had to bus or walk everywhere, sometimes I'd change my bus patterns and take long detours to get from home to work and back just to throw people off. You'd be surprised how many times the people following me and the cars were different, it was rarely ever the same one for too long a period of time. One time I was approached by the driver, it happened quick and he grabbed my arm. I screamed and started fighting, hadn't noticed another guy coming up to the bus stop behind me who grabbed me in time to keep him from dragging me into his truck. I was in a human tug a war for a few seconds or minutes, (it still only comes to me in flashes, really. I think I was in shock) and the first guy finally let go. The man stayed with me until the bus came and sat next to me, he saw me to my next two stops until I got home. I was 18 at the time and it was absolutely terrifying. I agree, don't be the hero to all women by seeking out reasons to come to our defense, but the video didn't mention that if you do see something going on, (this should go without saying) please do something about it. You don't have to ride out on a white horse making sure no one is objectifying us in their language or trying to beat up guys who bothered us at the bar, but if you see someone slip something in someone else's drink tell them. If you see someone being approached on the street in a violent way that is _clearly_ violent please call the police and do what you can to help. These are great ways to help women feel safer on our own, we want to know there are men out there who don't feel like they have to be our out and open feminist champions of the world, we just want to know you'll speak up if needed, help if needed, and know that if it doesn't look like an immediate emergency we can probably deal with it ourselves. It's just good to know we can tell you if we ever do need help and that you fellas will believe us and help if you can.
Sad but true. And I learned this the hard way. What's scary is that as an introvert, and as someone who has few friends who are nowhere near my home, I usually move alone. And because of past experiences, I have to carry pepperspray with me wherever I go. It's sad that this has become "normal" for some of us. It shouldn't be. It's hard to trust anyone.
Hey im a guy and im giant sized but i still carry pepper spray because you know, shit happens. Its never wrong to be alert, or defend yourself. I cannot imagine what it is like to be in a smaller body though, ive had enough potentially hostile experiences as a big dude . If you need to talk , i am here to listen . But yah, its just a totally sucky thing , and i dont think hardly any people (mostly men) acknowledge it, the is literally the first time ive heard a woman speak about it, even though its just a video, its pretty mind opening. I always try to keep an eye on people, make sure they get to their cars ok, etc, because well, you have to take care of eachother. Anyways, thanks. And, well, i still carry hope.
@@Wrest2165 I'm glad you understand how hard it is for women to protect ourselves sometimes. And yes, men face these situations too. It's just harder to defend yourself when you have a smaller frame and less strength than the average man. Thank you so much for your empathy.
Things have become scary. In my country, almost every week for a more than a month now, there have been reports of girls getting kidnapped, raped and killed. It seems like it's something organised by some cultist men who suddenly decided they need to round up and ritually kill young girls and women for money. This is because once the girls go missing, there is no demand for ransom, and no trace of the girls whatsoever. There was only one instance where a girl's clothes were found and that was it. No joke... There are some sick people out there. So many reports from girls who barely escaped kidnapping and death from strangers, friends and even uber drivers. So we have to stay vigilant.
Yeah if you live in the hood or getto things aren't super bad and if they do turn bad we have 911 make a report if something bad happen you are a mans equal in 2019 thanks feminist for that and take care of yourself just like a man would
@Cyber Jinxed I need to get one of those 😂. Smart move!
@@cossaizy6309 You have a good heart and it's good that you support your female friends the best way that you can. Honestly, without good male friends like you, I don't think I could ever talk to a guy besides my dad or boyfriend. Because we have a lot of perspectives and a lot of guys don't really understand how girls struggle sometimes. The guys I interact with always complain that girls are too uptight or too hesitant to get close to them. When those guys get frustrated it comes off as a sense of "entitlement"; like they don't see why a girl shouldn't be OK with giving them her number/ meeting them/ flirting. It's upsetting because most don't realise that one girl may feel a lot of pressure from a dozen guys at the same time and she naturally just wants to set boundaries.
There's something incredibly chilling about that last scene when he scrolls through his Facebook friends, all with fake names, and finally lands on Martha, his closest friend and longtime roommate, and sees that she too has an alias
Abigail Chamberlain also that all the fake Facebook names Martha mentioned were actually there, and not something she made up on the spot. Also chilling.
Quality script.
Its fucking disturbing. People being fake but with such a good reason that you cant expect any of them being real.
Damn and im here with my fake name too...😓
except how many women do you actually know who have fake names the only people i know who have aliases are people in the police force or the military every single girl i ever went to school with or met before use their real names
I feel it's also important to point out the guy's obliviousness to the stalker. He is a good guy as the girl points out, but the assholes that ruin it for everyone isn't something life requires them to be vigilant against.
It's the things guys don't 'see,' but girls can't afford to ignore.
Girls just need to learn how to kick ass and do the dash
@@sebaschan-uwu As much as it would help, the argument is that girls shouldn't be required to become military marines just so they can walk safely to the convenience store for munchies.
I don't think he's that oblivious. He may not have seen the stalker, but he knows Martha well enough to know when she's getting close and amorous (not her usual attitude) publicly while it's been established there's no romantic feelings between the two. Especially as relevant it was to the conversation they'd been having. He probably knew something was up, but didn't want to bring it up directly and didn't go looking for the problem to solve it (he's super meek and isn't one to start a confrontation unless necessary).
@@Kairnestar I'd like to think so but I'm not so sure. He was very surprised to find that she did indeed have an online alias, and the whole point of the video is the general oblivious men have to these experiences women encounter more often than they'd like to claim.
@@SaiaXIV well of you are doing it late at night like they were any dude should beware as well especially in that super ratchet hood
It can be dangerous for anyone
We live in a world where it is assumed that a man knows something until he proves he doesn’t and a woman doesn’t until she proves she does.
I have never heard something so true, I am now going to quote this comment.
Woah. You are right. Now I need to make sure I am not doing it. damn.
Sadly true and I wish they didnt......more so cuz I'm autistic and its stressful being expected to know what to do and it just overloads my brain
does this even make sense?
This man just fucking murdered humanity in a sentence
As someone who got harassed online today and had to defend myself - the cartoon analogy really got to me coz sometimes the very system meant to protect you, has blindspots that abusers use to stay safe. So after a female friend mentioned similar things happening to her, this was the first time I remembered this episode & was able to empathize with the lessons here. Dayum, it hits right in the feels! 💖
I honestly feel worried about characters in this show
Good it isn't just me.
Why? Because she gets harassed? Because the stripper had her finger cut off? Because the guy was oblivious to her problems?
@@zabelconnor yes. To all of it
@@Tank10995 Oh ok, hahaha
Yeah, they just feel so raw and hopeless.
I think men who are good people and don’t do creepy shit should be mad at the creeps who ruined it for everyone, NOT at the women who are responding to potentially dangerous situations. And I know this is an animation, but the scenes with the guy following her in particular is very relatable (and not in the least unusual). It’s happened to me more than I care to recall and it’s happened to my friends as well. It is just a fact of life. I always look over my shoulder when walking alone, and I never walk alone at night. (And I love nighttime, it’s my favorite part of our 24 hours). And while it may seem like overreacting to those who can walk at night carefree, these techniques are required (and sadly sometimes deficient) to thwart unwanted attention or even assault.
On a positive note: it is really great to know there are guys out there who care to listen and do their part to change the way things are. We need you guys for real systematic change. At least that’s how I feel.
I would really like to hear more about these people you know that feel safe walking at night.
I always carry a blade, cause even though I'm trained in Muay Thai, boxing and Karate, there's always an asshole bigger than me(Like always cause I'm 5'2") that i might not be able to take down. Once i had to pull a blade on a man that stalked me for months cause he tried to follow me into my home after I came home from work at like 1 am. He was a regular customer. At my community college, I used to get harassed on the street when I used to go out for food. At my new job in a whole different state, I have my associates telling me how there's creepy dudes asking for me. I don't leave work until at least midnight or 2:30 am at most, and i try to park as close as possible to the door so i can get there and get out immediately. And even though I have three forms of martial arts under my belt, I have still been sexually assaulted and harassed. I plan my outfits for, "can i run away fast enough in this?", "does it have pockets so i can grab my blade?", and "if someone tries to harass my boyfriend and i, will i be able to have his back?", as opposed to, "wow i wanna look cute today"
Like I honestly get it, men get threatened by these videos because they feel stereotyped as a creep. But shit, I hate being stereotyped as a SJW when I say, "women get harassed, a lot and instead of being told we're being dramatic, maybe just listen." We need to listen to each other. We need to be mindful is all.
There is psycho bitch to . And most of the time bad men result from bad women influence (mother or ex girlfriend) so shouldn't the women be mad at the psycho bitch that made the men feel like shit and turn abusive ect?
This discussion CAN'T be one sided .
fabien herry Maybe bad men resulted from bad parenting, mother AND father or lack of one or the other. They are still responsible for their own actions. Don't put the blame everywhere else but the offender. If they weren't raised to respect other people and their body and belongings, they don't need to be given freedom to walk the streets.
fabien herry I've had verbally and emotionally abusive boyfriends before. Doesn't give me the right to abuse people and act like a complete ass, commit crimes, rape or rob people. Wtf.
Just be a good human being who treats other people like human beings and create a safe space wherever you go. It's not that hard.
There's no such thing as a truly safe space on this planet. Quit being a whiner and deal with it
Your definition of space is misinformed. All human beings occupy space just by existing. Based on your actions and bearing, that space automatically turns in to a safe space or a dangerous space. There's no neutral. People either feel safer when you're in a room or endangered based on the way you carry yourself.
Unfortunately passive people have little to no bearing or self awareness. In such a situation, someone with a larger bearing in that room will take control of that room and based on their actions there, turn it in to a dangerous space or a safe space.
It's not hard to understand. If someone threatens you, they have clearly made the space around them a dangerous one to share. Your options would be to either leave that space or create a safe space by defusing the situation. If a group of people help you neutralize the threat,they are creating a safe space. Stop being passive.
Harold Haroldson You obviously care because, well, here you are. I have never proclaimed to be anything. I have simply offered advice for those wishing to have the least amount of vexatious interactions with other human beings.
Of course this does nothing for people who actively seek conflict or want to police other people 's lifestyles.
I mean, what does not caring mean when people who profess to not care constantly go out of their way to nag and offend said people simply because their lifestyles do not fit their view of appropriate behavior?
A secure and disciplined person would not waste their energy like that. They'd simply do what my original comment advised and go about their day.
After all, how does a strangers weight or sexual preferences affect you?
Define "human"
I literally work out to make a safer enviorment in case of something going wrong. If I am with friends, I make sure at least 2 of them are together and keeping watch because I like to wonder a bit. I always return in 30 seconds to make sure everything is ok. I want to be the person that anyone can talk to about how they feel around me and feel 100% safe about it. Sometimes I will ask questions about it but other than that if they have good reasoning, I'll really think about it and I would never get mad enough to hurt them or let anyone hurt them. Like I have friends that support Trump while I am a democrat in the terms of "hey, lets work on these places in our country." I dont support Trump myself but I'm not going to make them feel unwanted because of it. Its just realizing what if feels like the other way around.
I relate with this a lot, there was this one time where I was at work putting things away (reshop) and this guy walks up to me and says "hello." Me being an employee needing to be nice and help any customer that comes by I say "Hello, do you need any help?" He said he didn't need any help but ask for my phone number or insta. Me trying gently put him down I lied about being in a relationship already. He walks away but then I noticed he didn't leave the store instead waited outside near the benches. I thought he was waiting for a ride. When my shift was over I waited outside for my sister to come pick me up. The man that ask for my phone number walks up to me and try to have a conversation with me, I slightly joined in but then he continue to bring up me being taken. Continues saying, "Well you should take my phone number anyways just in case" or "he probably won't treat you well" I keep on denying him nicely as I could till he got aggressive. When I saw my sister's car I bolted to her car. Once I got in I just told her to drive.
This reminds me of a conversation I had with my bf. He's a very social guy who just likes to talk to people - male & female - when going out. He was telling me how he doesn't like going to certain event or bigger clubs, since he can't talk to a woman without her 'casually' mentioning within 5 minutes that she has a bf or something. So, yeah, I could understand his frustration - he'd be like, yeah, I've got a girlfriend, she's standing right there, we were just talking about *blank* subject, right? (he'd probably think it instead of saying it, he's not that tactless).
So I started to explain to him our point of view. Like, how if I'm talking to a guy (no flirting/ touching, JUST talking! I wouldn't even accept drinks from him!) at a bar or club or whatever, and he'd make a move, and I'd THEN tell them I'm not interested, or I have a boyfriend, well... some guys can react pretty badly. Like, get REALLY angry. I still a lot of times refuse to do this 'introducing myself with "hi! I have a bf!", because I think it's not required for talking to someone. If he wants to know, he can ask. But I do get why a lot of women do this and are guarded this way.
Here's the deal: most men are decent people, but it takes just ONE asshole, out of the VAST majority of guys to ruin it for everyone. So I'll come of as guarded, or pretentious or whatever, but I have to keep myself safe from the 1 asshole.
And don't say it's the same for men and women. There is a definite biological difference here. If I'd hit a guy (which I never do, and will NEVER justify, violence is always wrong! but just hypothetically), at WORST he'd have a black eye. Probably not even that. But (and yes, there's overlap, but 90% of the time at least) a guy could hit me into the hospital.
So to quote Spiderman: with great power comes great responsibility. And I'm not going into everything, but at least physically, men do hold all the power, usually.
I do understand that and it's a reasonable comment. I also agree that in general you hitting us is less of a problem for us then the other way around.
However, I also wish to bring up a few things, which probably you know to see if you have an answer or an advice for:
1. Man being rejected is awful, but being misunderstood for hitting on you and being rejected as result is even worse emotionally for us, because we didn't even hit on you and you rejected us. I do not know how else to explain it, I hope you understand that point.
2. Treating all men that way because of 1 asshole results in man thinking badly of you and when enough women do it to enough man, those man start to get angry hating on women (I believe understandably) and as a result we reach a point where the very act of protection against a potential predator creates more predators. Now I know this is not your responsibility, but in general mistreated people start mistreating others out of mistrust and this becomes a cycle without end, which at some points, sadly we need to address somehow.
3. In general you say that you would never hit a man, but while I never in my life hit a women, 80% of women I've been in relationship with hit me if not daily, weekly. At some points I admin, I wanted to throw their heads in the wall, but abstained because of the reason you mentioned, but it does get annoying to me personally when someone says things like "It's not the same because you are not as hurt as we are". Even after you specifically stated that you do not think man should be hit or find it acceptable, it still hurts for me and I almost reacted negatively to the whole comment because of it.
@@dobromirivanov7310 dude if you're in a relationship with ANYONE who hits you gtfo. Thats toxic and wrong and should not be accepted by men or women. But about your other points? I can never see it as "understandable" for, again, anyone to start hating on anybody (let alone an entire gender) because they got rejected. Whether their feelings were hurt or not that never justifies such a small thing leading to such a strong negative emotion. Especially when the person whose saying "sorry I have a boyfriend" may either actually already have one and has valid reasons for rejecting that person, or isn't interested/afraid and therefore haas a valid reason for rejecting that person. It's of course understandable for someone to be sad about being turned down, but that leading to hate?? and violence??? Those are products of an entirely different system, a problem in society that has nothing to do with women rejecting too many men. I also find it hypocritical, saying that women treating all men with caution on the off chance that one could genuinely be aggressive or a rapist or just a plain murderer is bad, but at the same time saying its understandable for a man to start hating on all women because of a few reactions? Especially when one is a defensive safeguarding tactic and the other a potentially violent outcome? I do totally understand and agree with this leading to even more ultimately violent and bad men, perpetuating the system, an issue in itself I agree needs to be fixed. I understand this cycle but, as you said, I believe it's one absolutely not on the hands of women it break, men hold all the cards there. So, you must see why I find it rather difficult to empathise with this particular point. I've been rejected mercilessly before, and haven't even been accepted yet, but I've never hated anyone or blamed anyone for that.
Again, of course, absolutely nobody should be abused by anyone despite circumstances. And the way you have personally been hurt by past girlfriends is very wrong, awful in fact, but your situation ISNT exactly the same to women, or anyone else's for that matter. Because the context is so different for everyone. Some may have had it worse, some may have had it better. But your experience doesn't cancel out the experiences of others either. I'm glad you realise this despite your negative reaction to what you see as an otherwise "reasonable comment", and if your trauma is as bad as it sounds I really hope you reach out to those closest to you or seek help professionally and talk through the emotional turmoil those abusive relationships put you through. I hope all your relationships in the future are far more kinder than that.
Very interesting insight. As a man it is sometimes easy to discard a negative response from women (specially if its so abrupt) as rude or lack of character, but never saw things through that perspective. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! : )
@Calamity Understandable. But, when it comes to this type of situations, where they feel vulnerable or fearful, can you really blame them. Sure, there might be some cases where its just contempt or mean-spirited, but you have to give the benefit of the doubt. Be understanding, be the better person : )
@Calamity I hate how that must be for guys. It's happened to my brother and to male friends who were just trying to be friendly and have a conversation. The thing is though, a lot of women have to worry about being assaulted. It's not that they think all guys are like that, just that they don't know who might attack. I know how this behavior might sound paranoid, but the majority of females that I know well have a story of being raped, assaulted, or almost having it happen. My mom was attacked in her own apartment by a guy she knew well enough to let in- and she's a cautious person. It's not about being rude, it's just about survival.
This may be the only show Cracked puts out after the mass lay offs, but that doesn't change the fact that People Watching is genuinely one of my favorite shows on CZcams. Every episode is thought provoking, well shot, and entertaining as hell. I was so glad to see it get revived!
Cracked only hosts it, they have nothing else to do with it
Have you seen the comic yet?
THERES A COMIC???
It's a bit different and it takes time to start properly, but it's the best webcomic on the net imo.
99% chance there was a contract that the need finished out
When you realize you’re as oblivious as the male lead
That’s a really good place to start.
Fuck.... same
I'm just gonna tell you guys that it happens at any age. When I was 13 we had an end of year field trip to a go-kart range, one of the employees kept eyeing my boobs and I just tried to smile but I felt unsafe. I told my friends while we were in the arcade and we spent the rest of the field trip on the other side of the park (mini golf). Needless to say I will NEVER go back to that go-kart range.
There's even been cases of literal toddlers getting raped, I still remember one of a two month old baby. Fortunately, the abuser got the death sentence.
Women are typically sexually objectified before they are even “women”. Girls in some surveys have answered that they began to see their body as a sexual object as young as six. Puberty isn’t what “gets men going” if they are like this- it’s control over someone(thing) young and vulnerable. We try so hard to look like little girls just to appease what is a mainstream sexual appetite for a man to have- shaving everything, dressing young, making our eyes look bigger, role playing as a “schoolgirl”- but don’t say anything about how you hate it because then you “hate sex”.
@@seraphim108 oh thank god thats a good thing to end this day on
You know Venilla I know my life is not perfect but I also recognise there's things I can do as a man that would be highly unsafe if I was a woman even walking outside at nighttime I wouldn't dare do that if I was a woman but I'm not I'm a 6 foot tall guy so vast majority of people won't mess with me but its not that easy if your a 5'6 woman for example :( it must be really hard having to deal with this espicaly at the age you were
I didn't know how problematic things are in my country regarding sexual objectification of women until my girlfriend began to open up about all the shit she has to go through on a daily basis. Looks are no problem, not for her and not for me. That's only natural. It becomes a problem when men keep pursuing her or becoming physical even though she specifically states she has a relationship. She's had men come beside her on the bus or the train and start interrogating her about her personal life, unwilling to stop when asked to. She's had men smack her ass at her job (she works as a waitress). Every time she gets out, she has at least 2 guys fixated on having sex with her, which ruins her whole night with her friends. She has to go through daily catcalling when going to her college. She's had male friends which she thought she had a strong friendship with suddenly text her dirty messages…
I don't deny that this doesn't happen to men as well. I've just personally not heard any of my male friends open up about their experiences (perhaps because it still is taboo?). But keep in mind that my girlfriend is not an overly hot bombshell like you see in fashion magazines. She's just an average girl (which is what I like about her). If she already has to deal with all that on a daily basis, then I can imagine how shitty it must be for women who have won the genetic jackpot.
alex Debroux Honestly, people only give you as much shit as you're willing to take. She needs to learn how to neutralize any mfer that puts their hands on her without her permission. Once I figured that out and actually followed through, people stopped f*cking with me. Maybe it's the fact that I carry myself like I'm disappointed when people don't give me a reason to lay them out. Maybe it's a several reasons. Idk, but it's a satsifying and empowering way to live.
It’s usually a good idea to ignore someone who believes that there is one solution to a varied and complex problem like this.
You will not get far in your career if you “lay out” every male who sexually harasses you. You also will almost certainly face eventual legal ramifications.
In a perfect world, your boss would understand and place the safety and comfort of his female employees above profits and fear of lawsuits. That’s not the real world, though.
In a perfect world you can just tell the cops that you physically assaulted a man because he grabbed your ass. However, in the real world you will most likely be held accountable when you have no visible injuries and the other party has been “laid out”.
In a perfect world there is one catch-all solution to an enormous and nuanced problem.
We do not live in the world you apparently think we do.
They do when they are about 40
TheTrashMan Your name is very fitting sir.
@Tiauna Murphy you act like all women are raped multiple times in their life. How many people that you know have been raped multiple times by different people
I was morbidly obese from childhood to my 40's, so the people I met picked on me for my weight. It was liberating never feeling like a sex object. But I have protected friends who were being harassed. I was the best fat friend.
Like baymax.... Warm and cuddly marshmallow
About the 1 hand pinned down thing, I've had both male classmates and close friends just suddenly grab my wrist out of the blue with a single hand just to point out how petite I am and demonstrate how they can easily overpower me. It's not as if I'm already aware of that. What's uncomfortable is them deciding to point out the obvious and touch me like so without permission just to demonstrate the point.
A threat 😰
She's definitely my favorite character still. But geez man. The way she was talking about "there are things I'll never tell you" really scare me.
Scares you in what way?
@@vivaelphaba I don't know about OP, but it scares me in the sense that such harassment doesn't come to light so we can deal with them. I'm not saying that all harassment constantly needs a spotlight on it because the victim should only talk about it when they're comfortable enough to do so.
Basically, it scares me because the environment doesn't make it safe for everyone to do so. As much as I want to help, I can only do my part, because forcing someone to come out about their trauma is as harmful as the one who inflicted it in the first place.
In the end, I know it's not about me, even though "I" want to make the world a bit safer.
Sounds like I ain't no snitch to me
Yeah, and it comes down to trauma too. Sometimes people are too traumatized to open up about what happened to them. It's why I get so mad at people doubting women who call out their abuser years later. And what she said in the video too about not wanting someone to feel "sorry" for her. Sorry im totally rambling now lol i just really am into this video too
I think sometimes men think people talking about this stuff is man-hating or whatever.
But if I told every man I love in my life about creeps in the world, I wouldn't have time to talk or think about much else. You kinda just tune them out. Even when they're much more aggressive than what men would expect. I had a man signal me over on the road - I thought my tire was about to explode.
Nah, he just me to come over and smoke and fuck. Nice proposition sir, but it's Monday 8 am and I got to work.
True story. Men do A LOT. And I think some think, "this will make me stand out" but ironically it doesn't.
Rambling lol.
I remember walking with my mom into a mall when I was a teen, she was wearing gym wear because she's a spinning instructor and even at 40 she kept herself looking great, and these two greasy guys just whistled loudly at her from their car. I was 6'2 and that generally scares people enough to not do anything. These guys were trying hard to get her attention though, but we just kept walking, as uncomfortable as she was. It got me thinking though, what if I'm not with her while she's in public? Do things get worse than that, especially when alone? I'm not really a violent person, but the thought of anyone being made uncomfortable like that makes me so mad.
From a perspective of a female minor things do get / can get worse ofc and its crazy because i assume most women feel the need to call or text someone so they can look busy with someone or so that person can become some kind of witness to any danger that may be lurking around i often feel this way when im walking home at night even if its just across the street but i still have to try n put on the "i can walk across the street without a fucking problem and ill make it with confidence lol" mask ..... its uncomfortable to know i feel this way even when im next to my house but its still an issue i wish more men took to the heart as if it was truly important to them to make sure us girls and women feel well about taking a walk around the block... if that makes sense
Yes ...it's way more constant than you'd like and it doesn't matter what you wear I recently had a date and went out in what I thought was a really sexy outfit and got just as many cat calls as when I'm in jeans and flip-flops and a t-shirt
no you're ruminating.
The simple answer is no, at least not sexual harassment, that typically only happens between people who know each other and one gets a bit too comfortable.
I bet your ass the people commenting that it doesn’t happen often are dudes. When you have sisters or daughters, then you become aware that this shit happens way too frequently.
Was I the only one genuinely freaked out by stalker dude?
Meh, like she said, it's par for the course. Just another average day.
I was scared as well when I watched this.
Nope. When there was that split second of him following them in the alley, I felt sick.
Nope. I'm a dude, and the entire time I was mentally screaming 'FUCK OFF ALREADY!!!'
This dude is the embodiment of my anxiety TvT
I remember when I was at a bar with friends (I was 19) and this one guy (who was like mid to late 30’s) wouldn’t leave me alone and at one point he cornered me to talk to me and his opening line was how he nearly went to jail for being a pedo, great opening line there bud
Btw I got out the situation fine cause one of my friends is a huge scary biker looking guy (nicest guy I know) so he scared pedo man off
High Overlord Snarffie Beagle shit you got me!
Lmao what's with this beagle guy pffff
@Jeff Andrews what
I hope that creep ends up in prison. Sounds like he did some shady things...
So I'm from Argentina, I would like to bring up some examples of how privilege works.
Ten blocks from my house, a woman ends up in a hospital because his boyfriend throw boiling oil at her. Nothing happened to him.
A 19 year old girl, was raped, burn with cigarettes, cut and sodomized with a broken bottle. The people that did it end up choking her to death. Guess what, they are ALL free.
It is what it is. I'm one block away from my home, a dude is in a bike, says awful things to me. But this is not even the worst, it's what he didn't say; the implicit "I can fucking rape you, I can fucking kill you, and you can do nothing about it" that day I never felt so scared for my life. But it is what it is.
Women die by the hands of men who think that this women are just a property. But it's just what it is.
and in NO WAY, literally NO WAY, I'm saying that men struggles doesn't deserve empathy. We ALL need empathy, and that's why I'm probably writing this even if no one reads it. I want people to understand, I want you all to try to see from someone else point of view.
You think you don't have privileges, you think that women make a big deal out of stupid messages. But please try to understand that we as a society have normalized so so many situations. It's not "it is what it is" anymore.
And I apologize if I have any grammar/spelling mistakes, I hope I could make a point with this.
I can't click 'like' because I hate that all this happened. But you said that you felt like you had to write this even if no-one read it. I want you to know I read it. And I'm sorry that places like this still exist.
Thank you so much for your words of kindness
no offense but without a news article to back that wild claim up imma have to call bullshit. No way would people just "go free" for murder... even in Argentina
@@Legohaiden www.google.com/amp/s/www.losandes.com.ar/el-femicidio-que-averguenza-al-sur/%3foutputType=amp I hope you know how to read in spanish. Her name was Paula Toledo, she loved to draw and put flowers in her notebooks. The fact that you cant even believe that this a possible scenario many women face says a lot about your worldview.
It's not about the fact that this happened in Argentina, it's about that this is a reality women in every part of the world have to face.
Props, Michigan J. Frog as an metaphor for how street harassment never happens when someone is looking is pretty on point.
More a racial issue than a "male" problem.
His skin tone was lightened a bit more then in reality.
@@Hakajin As a male that also doesnt have a car and walks everywhere in a safe neighborhood, I think us pedestrians just think they're honking at us. It happens so many times just as they go by, but it also happens when the cars have passed or are further off. I like to think it's just selective bias. It's best just to ignore it and assume it wasnt at you. Unless the car is literally following you of course.
@Hakajin I feel that so much. Also sometimes a guy I pass by will make a comment and it might be obviously about me or it might be quiet or vague enough that I'll be wondering if I was right to be scared. And like you, I startle very easily. :(
Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes... I definitely get the impression that it's not. Once in a while, a guy will shout at me out the window. I'd say it's because I live in a college town... But honestly, it's happened to me other places, too.
That's the *first* time I've heard Feminism explained in a *rational* way that makes me even more empathetic to how people treat people than I already was.
God Bear agree.. this should be one of the ways to talk about.. I would rather talk to a woman like a should talk with man and so on ones gender, sex or skin color shouldn’t matter.. which is one of her points “ whoa you play metal just as good as a guy “ yeah of course why should she and why is that impressive.. it’s shouldn’t matter.. but sadly so it’s does.. there one thing I wish they either think is thing” because I do “ or something else but.. The Inner Idiot Man .. you know the one who either call women c#nt or be angry because a woman beats them in a game or in movies,comics or books.. sadly also goes with other sex other skin colors and all that stupid awful crap.. and it’s so stupid and childish.. but I think some men deals with this and should learn how to Handle it .. but I can wrong or just a asshole.. anyway.. I hope it’s was alright..take care..!
I think most people who started hating on feminism aren't all against the concept, more just the attitude that some people have while explaining it. As a guy, I know some people come off really condescending whenever I say or do something that isn't cool, but I've since understood to not take personally and to try and be a better person. You know, to learn from my mistakes. If this is the first time you actually connected with the core values of feminism, then it's my hope that you can perhaps abstract the shitty attitude that some feminists have and simply take away a lesson that makes sense to you.
Im glad you did! Im always afraid of saying Im a feminist because of the asshole “feminist” that ruin the perception for outsiders, but this is what feminism is about!! I really am glad that this video helped at least one person to comprehend our situation as women and hopefully it will help a lot more.
The world is slowly becoming better and better 😁
+God Bear
Have you ever heard about French philosopher Élisabeth Badinter? She's the epitome of an actual feminist in my opinion. On the one hand she's in no way a man-hater, on the other she's also not naive about areas in which women are disadvantaged that many people never think about. The English wikipedia article on her is way too short sadly, but maybe you find some other information about her. (The German wikipedia article as really good, so in case you understand German or know someone who does ...) The French one is also too short, but there are a few French ones on her books.
If you're *really* interested I'm willing to translate some of the German wikipedia article for you ...
God Bear you soooooooo wooooooooooooooke bro
I love how they explained feminism it’s about choices like making you own life decisions
I don't think that's called feminism... making your own decisions? That's just life.
@@outsideworld76 so in other words feminism is just common sense?
@@JP-sm4cs no since feminism is feminism and not common sense. Feminism is an ideology of female supremacy.
@@outsideworld76 Feminism is about wanting more equality, anyone who claims it's about female supremacy either lied to you or carelessly spread misinformation.
@Roberto Murillo who told you this?
I don't regret clicking this from my recommendations
"When the whole floors eggshells you really just stop giving a shit." *I felt that*
Everyone's so focused on the stalker, are we just going to ignore how the girl was the victim of an abusive boyfriend she's trying to hide from? Or the casual mention of the ex husband who cut off that other girl's finger over a pizza?
@Aristotle man i remember that story and its still a scary thought.
@Aristotle All the women on The View who shared that story laughed and giggled at it.
There's a video of a woman claiming she's going to trick her husband into getting her pregnant even though he doesn't want to because he physically cannot support another kid, and then all the audience members applaud. It's fucking apalling.
@@candykanefpv98 czcams.com/video/BeS_Y8q9kcY/video.html
This is the exact video you are mentioning.
@@candykanefpv98 can we talk about that, in this sex issue program thing, instead of the poor wahmen getting too much male attention
6:48
The moment I realised that dude in the doorway has been stalking her the entire video...
@High Overlord Snarffie Beagle What the fuck is wrong with you.
This video was a turning point in my life. At some point I lived life as on the surface a straight cis dude, with an extremely limited understanding of what it's like for women. I've been out as a pansexual trans woman for a couple of years now, and it all started with realizing that I needed to listen to the experiences of women, and question all the shit I don't see. As soon as I started realizing that women were real people and shredded away the misconceptions I started sliding towards a more feminine presentation and became a feminist. Not long after I realized that I identified more with women even if I didn't share the majority of their experiences, and at that point all it took was one halloween in what I thought was drag, for me to realize that the thing that had been wrong my whole life was my expressed identity, I juat needed to open my eyes and take a propper look at the alternatives to realize they existed.
Now I have started to see first hand a lot of the bs mentioned, and oh how I get it. Like I live in norway, and don't pass yet, so I don't get that much shit, but I know what it's like to feel like you're trapped on the bus because of a comment, and the dread of the one making it going off on the stop before yours, or what it's like to have people online act really inapropriately and then get mad at you for "leading them on" only to "reject them" as if you had done either by simply trying to not engage. I also get a lot of unique shit for being trans, just like how there is some shit I will never get that cis women get all the time.
But the thing is I'm still transitioning. In spite of the bullshit, and losing contact with my dad, and the national hospital literally making up rules just to refuse me treatment. In spite of knowing friends of mine who used to live nearby have been assulted for it, and that I'm going to struggle with employment. It's me, and I gotta be who I am because anything else is as good as death. I can't ever live life as something else, I can only ever maintain an act of that, and I won't trade a shitty life for a fun act, so I'm taking the red pill (the original metaphor is a refrence to estrogen pills, the creators are trans) and will rather spend my life fighting metaphorical machines and having weird sweaty sex, and annoying political conflicts, than live an illusion to serve as a means to the propagation of the systems of power that just preserve themselves without any end goal.
Ok that got a little anarcho-cyberpunk ish, but you get the point. The pain, suffering, and bullshit is worth it untill I reach that point where it becomes another kind of death. Thankfully I'm safe enough to live, but it does hurt, but after 18 years of fake feelings, fake relations, fake expressions, and a fake identity, real pain is the best feeling ever. It may have something to do with my masochism, but lets not worry about that.
Don't put yourself in danger, but never give up who you are. It's worth something, and it'd be a shame to give it up ❤
Anything else is as good as death. Hell yeah, we only get one life. Live it on your terms whenever you can!
Exactly, because just not dying will never be the same as really living. It's your life and you don't get another so from one person under the trans umbrella to another, I'm so proud of you for being self aware enough to realize when you didn't know things, taking it upon yourself to fix that, finding yourself in the new information, and being brave enough to live your truth despite the very real dangers that come with that! I hope that makes sense...
TL;DR dude
The frog bit was genius. Hats off to whoever wrote that.
I love how accurate it portrays the lack of threat in another man for showing his affection. And overreaction of a woman calling police on a person performing.
i don't get it. would u mind explaining it?
Lol it doesnt seem like everyone assumed the same meaning from that part...
Hayley Blonstein there’s an old cartoon bit about a man finding a dancing singing frog and every time he brings someone to see it, the frog shuts up. The joke surprisingly holds up, you could write it for men and women, or anyone with the capacity for lying or playing dumb. It is a very famous classic bit that I highly recommend you search for on here. “Singing frog” should do it.
thank u!
That dude stalking in the background is giving me anxiety
There's an app for that.
Makes the creepiest animation look like an old friend without altering the main plot.
Seriously, its a cartoon.
Find something scary in your life that's real, and fixate on that instead.
(That'll be a $30 copay for today's session)
@Bander196,
Finally. Someone understands me.
Look... I've got a wife and kids to feed. I'm just struggling to make ends meet, and to provide a brighter future for my kids.
I didn't ask to be born an animated cartoon. Neither did my wife, or my kids. Geez man, do you think its easy getting these gigs? Sometimes I wait in a cyber line for weeks, before landing a cartoon role. And I don't get to pick the characters that I am assigned either.
Cut me a break. If you were a cartoon, I doubt you'd be able to do any better.
@@marshalllhiepler same here buddy,I was the bartender and all they me is to wipe...getting jobs in cartoons is tough.
@@thereapernosferatu7722,
I am so aware of your pain, man.
But, if it is of any significance...
you totally owned that role.
Seriously. That counter top was spotless.
I mean... I know they probably didn't include any digital crumbs in that particular scene, but...
your overall character portrayal was powerful.
Just saying.
Less anxiety More Fight for Your Life
Thank you to the ladies and gentlemen who made this. We need more of this balanced, non hate filled rationality.
I laughed like crazy when I read some of those messages at 1:20. Some of those things were just crazy especially when one guy said “BRRABBBARRAAGHH!”..... BROOOO I DIED LAUGHING LoL I know it really does happen but I’m immature.
The stalker made me anxious through the whole video
Diogenes it me too dude
Shit, same here. I kept expecting shit to go down.
I think that was the point. Kind of an easy way to show what it might be like.
They make me nervous too...this shit gave me PTSD lol
For people who don't get it. The point of the video is between two friends. They both knew each other their whole lives but the guy is totally getting into the feminist topics and videos. He want to become a feminist and show his appreciate toward women. But all of his "research" is on tinder and basically social media apps. He want to be approachable and sweet but doesn't realize he coming off as a douche. His friend is trying to educate him by stating just because you now have an interest doesn't mean you know everything in women. By saying you have to become a comfortable presence. And while doing so reveals her own abuse like she literally said I had a boyfriend who was able to pin me down with one arm. And he doesn't even bother to question it. He doesn't even try to listen to the story to realize that she's hurt but just the part he need. He doesn't even realize that for the whole night they are being followed by one guy from the club. He's too self aware to his own problems then to realize she's in trouble.
It's not till later when he went on her social media that he realize that most of his friends were using short fake names and then saw that she herself used one to. Basically showing that she was being physically abused at one point in life and he wasn't aware. Then finally the message of what she was saying clicked: How can you be this feminist and try to save women from their problems when you couldn't notice my own when I was your best friend?
Thanks for the insight, often times these videos can become so complicated and have tons of different meanings. Luckily this comment section is one of the bests where people can actually have "decent" conversations.
oh wow that's really well written
@Filip Gasic no u
HAHAHA people that complain about being bullied on the internet are so stupid! HAHA just go to a different web page or turn off your computer! Women complain so much because their lives are so easy the simplest things seem like torture to them. I'm so glad I was raised getting beat by my parents so i have a basic understanding of real problems in life.
@@IkarosCanFly you've got to be kidding.
felt like my third eye opened so much more it kinda hurts. This is really what we need to be teaching
Wow! Thanks so much!
simp
I tend to always have a female in my life that I’m super close with on a friendship level. I needed to hear the part about not always listing solutions to the problem and just listening instead. Also realizing my girl friends don’t tell me certain things because they are scared I’m going to act on it and try to save the day or something (which I absolutely would).
This really resonated with me because I recently moved to a city where I take the bus to college when it’s still dark outside. It’s a port city so there’s a horrendous human trafficking issue. And besides that; there’s almost always one or more guys on the bus who’s looking at me or sits directly behind me even if we’re the only two people on an empty bus(pro tip: sit in a two-seated row and take the window seat. Then put your bag on the aisle seat so no one can sit next to you; it’s what all the women do)
Then from the bus station to my school; I’m constantly looking over my shoulder and I cross the street whenever I see any guy coming at me from the opposite direction. Because even though I know it’s probably just making me look like a paranoid asshole; I’ve gotten through the whole morning without getting assaulted or harassed and I’d really like to keep that streak up. It’s all so ridiculous and at the same time; everyone sees it as this worn-out issue and you’re a scummy SJW for even acknowledging that sexism and misogyny exists. Sometimes I just want to move to New Zealand and herd sheep for the rest of my life.
(Le edit: I have been rightfully yeeted in the replies for ‘pro-tipping’ that you should always sit in the window seat and put your bag in the aisle seat next to you. Some have pointed out that this could result in bag theft or getting trapped in with someone who just moves your bag. I personally have a back pack that I wrap around my arm so if the bag goes then I’m going with it. But in other contexts; aisle seat is the way to go. Check out Anya’s reply; she can explain it better than I can)
It resonated with you because you ride public transit and the only evidence of objectification you have is you think men are eye balling you on the bus? Not only that but gloat about taking multiple seats when the feminist movement pours bleach on mens crotch for having too wide a sitting position? You're not doing doing any favors for whatever narrative youre trying to push.
damn what city is that?
tbh, it probably would better if you went to New Zealand to herd sheep, sounds rad considering you would very literally be a minority on the island (7 sheep for every person).
What is this women-bagging? You cant go with "men-spreading" none sense and at the same time put your stupid bag on a sit so no one can sit there. Its not your mom's buss. Stupid female
As it was kind of mentioned, Dar E does it when the bus is nearly completely empty and still wants to feel safe. When talking about men-spreading, its often about public transports with a lot of people, where the man spreads his legs and the person next to him can't move freely. So yeah, i get that i can be annoying when people but their bags and block a seat, but in this context it is with many other choices to sit and, like i said, to feel safe and minimize the chance of being harassed. @Shendu
The best part about being middle-aged is that I am invisible to men on the street and social media. I don't have to deal with the harassment. Plus, the gray hair and experience give me authority at work. No way would I want to be 25 again!
WelshIrishLady Interesting point of view. I always thought women like the attention and the “sexual power” they have over men.
@@phoenix5054 hahah fuck no.
@@phoenix5054
Maybe some chicks but the majority of them just want to be left alone... it's not a power thing if someone looks uncomfortable.
that is soooo true
I think one of the reasons for these things calming down with age is also guys maturing. Even the guys who are aggressively pursuing women on the streets grow up at some point.
It also depends on where you are. I'm Russian and whenever I travel back home to St. Petersburg these types of things NEVER happen. But here in Germany sexual harrassement is a daily occurence. My mother is approaching her 50ies and she still gets harrassed by men. May be because she's a very self-disciplined woman when it comes to maintaining her looks and therefore looks fantastic.. may be a German thing. So sadly age doesn't always protect you from these things.
Wow, I saw this video over a year ago, and I've changed so much since. I've talked to all kinds of people, and learned so much. It's interesting coming back too the first real eye-opener I had. It's a small thing, bit it got it all started.
That ending legit gave me chills.
The guy in the background is one of the most ominous thing ever
I'm really glad Ted touched on how feminism is about choice.
People are always like "hurr durr feminists want to kill ALL the fetuses!" or "REEE!! they're against women being housewives even if it makes them happy, REEE" but that's not the case.
It's about giving women a choice, to do what they want to do. If you want babies- have them, if you don't- you shouldn't be made to have them. If you want to take care of the house, do so, but only if you want to, not because someone pressures you into giving up other carrers.
And yes, Martha, a choice to be or not to be a sperm geode is also included. But common sense is not that common.
Wouldn't that just make you a regular person? How can you be a part of something if you don't have to do anything.
More often then not you do have to "fight" to have the right to even choose between the options. That said if the options do even exist.
Who or what decide of the options available? How?
But to me, the core problem would be also to make sure that a choice is really a choice, and not forced.
But when can you consider that something is forced upon? Simply when you've been told your whole life that this one thing is good and the other bad? When you get shamed for choosing one thing over the other? Or only when someone points a gun on your head to make you do said thing?
@James Furey What Aristotle said is true though, how are you going to call it bullshit?
@@ananousous Quoting feminism to feminists makes you a sexist.
Sorry but: Said no femenist ever
This is great. Like I’m not saying this sarcastically. I’m serious. We need more of this kinda stuff from the world.
I like the style of animating, it looks awesome!
I never understood how woman feel until I made some female friends, who were nothing more than good friends. And they would tell me about experiences like this, being eyeballed in a bar, or followed around by creepy men. It does happen. Men are just used to being able to literally go anywhere and NOT feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Think about it.
Chris Resendes That’s wrong. Don’t generalize men while using anecdotal evidence.
Men are "able to go anywhere and feel safe". Except family court.
Men have subgroups as well. As a black man I don't feel safe is a large majority of America. A gay man may not feel comfortable expressing themselves in certain places, I would imagine.
@@personontheinternet2164 -- True. Hadn't thought about it that way.
generally yes. To get to university I have to go trough a town that's sexist af (some almost nude prostitutes if you go deep enough and there so you know the level), so I try to turn that sense of danger off because if I don't I can't fucking live, and hope nothing happens by dressing like a grandma. Don't really wanna think about that shit, and if this suburbs are bad, I can't even imagine how is it for lower-economy countries, those sure may be worse than hell
This comment section is toxic.
Can people realize that maybe not everything in this video is true or accurate, but some things are worth taking on board.
Why not, (and I know this might sound insane) take this video with a grain of salt. Maybe you'll learn something if you take your head out of your self-righteous arse.
For the people complaining about men's issues. Men have issues but that shouldn't be a counter point to women's issues. Men and women both face issues. The point isn't to make it a competition, the point is to fix them. If you're saying this video is bad because it doesn't address men's issues, you're missing the whole point. Why don't you get involved with helping men's issues rather than just hating because someone else is trying to create awareness for women's issues.
Y'all on some shit I swear.
Nobody is demonizing this video, just saying that is is very taken out of proportion. This video makes it look like there are just a crowd of creeps anywhere a woman goes just waiting for her to be alone. The reality is that creeps are an anomaly, not the nice guys. This video is stepping on mens throaghts to try to make the problems that they have known. What if they tried to raise awareness for men getting their children taken in custody battles, they portray all women except for one as a twofaced bitch that gets whatever she wants in court and then beats her children, which women statistically do more of than men. Feminists would jump down that videos throaght for being sexist.
@@johnheart8574 honestly at this point the internet has ruined the phrase "nice guys" for me haha.
This video wasn't trying to portray all men as creeps. There was 1 cat called and 1 stalker. There were lots of people on the social media topic but with online dating the proof is very much in the pudding there. Also keep in mind that even if the messages had been exaggerated the purpose of this video was not to demonize men. The female protagonist of this episode even says "a couple of guys ruin it for everyone" they acknowledge that there are a lot of perfectly normal people (I use the term normal because being nice doesn't make someone special, it's common courtesy.) Honestly I don't think this video did a bad job. Even with what I've said you're likely to still disagree. From what I've seen most people criticize this video for spreading sjw propaganda and ignoring men's issues. Even if these were true, both of these criticisms are missing the point. The point is not to say men are bad, the point is to say as a member of society, man or woman, be aware of these issues so that you don't make similar mistakes and maybe can even help someone in a terrible situation.
I would say there are a couple of people demonizing this video.
@6ixSource Information Group What's with you copypasting this over and over again, this isn't victim olympics. No one here denies that men also face abuse, we are just acknowledging women's sexual harassment issues right now.
@6ixSource Information Group I think I see where you are coming from, happy new year to you too.
Exactly!
I'm going to share this so much. Made me think a lot, it's really interesting, funny and talks about something that NEEDS to be addressed today.
Wow this opened my eyes so much.. I really appreciate this video & this channel as a whole.
Wow, this is rad. It's like Daria and Adam Ruins Everything had a baby that was drawn by the artists from 'Archer' and it's beautiful.
Misshowzat LMFAOOOOO 100% AGREE
Sprinkle in a bit of bojack horseman
YES AND BOJACK
Archer is cleaner this is cluttered and more like triptank
Raul Silva I don't know either of those
What men don’t see about me: a piece of me is dead because of what was done to me. I’m terrified of men. Men don’t respect my boundaries a large enough portion of the time so that I’m often living in fear. Even when men do respect my boundaries I am often terrified of them, which likely hurts their feelings and may completely sabotage a friendship. The worst feeling is seeing that I’ve hurt someone else’s feelings but there is nothing I can do about it because giving him a hug would make me cry and I am really not comfortable telling him why I am the way I am.
A good portion of guys aren’t bad. My bad experiences just make it so difficult for me to believe that. I know that most men are not like this, but trauma causes irrational thought patterns. I’m working on that. I promise.
I am the first to champion for ways in which society mistreats men. I do not identify as a feminist.
But I need you to hear me loud and clear when I say that the me that would’ve been is dead, and it’s been all on my shoulders to start over ever since when I was a child. How do you make peace with a part of yourself that didn’t even have the time to properly develop before it was destroyed?
Yeah well the me that would have pity for you died 20 years ago. Now my soul is a dark empty hole from which no light can escape. Cheers.
chaosmastermind ...okay
You're the one arguing with someone who has no soul.
@N. Fer. I'm sorry that you were so honest and open, saying things more people need to hear and you were probably only able to share given the relative anonymity provided by this medium, and that some people choose to spend their time replying in the negative here. Usually, I'm pretty decent with words but I find myself at a loss for anything that will really help your pain diminish. All I can say is I heard you. I was listening. I truly hope that find a way to heal yourself, into something stronger, fill those cracks with gold and become something beautiful for yourself, because you deserve it. Become kintsugi, if you can, or find someone that teaches you how to be alive and complete.
Well thanks, I really appreciate that.
Rewatching People Watching, I'm not disappointed. It's as good as I remember.
A surprisingly informative video that's grounded and reality base. Great job!
cough cough, "mostly"
She making som wild clame that just dosen fit my realty one bit, maybe we need a video of "the men woman don't see" (that's like 99% right there lol, its funny how she talking so long about men not understanding woman problems... but dos she really understand mens? do she even care?)
Because i bet she don't: the Red pill is a really good movie for anyone interested in not just having a one side look at the world.
@@MouseGoat this video is about the women's side. She was just explaining what it's like to be harassed daily. Sure, men can be raped and harassed as well. but most of the harassment goes for the women. i've been cat-called and am a 14-year-old. An 11 year old girl got raped and forced to give birth to another child by the government, countless other women have been sexually-harassed too. The people who got raped mostly doesn't tell anyone. why? because it's like standing at the edge of a cliff. because there's a big chance people might accuse them of falsely accusing the rapist. And there's also a girl who got raped and was forced marrying the rapist. How worse can their life get?
@@geniusdork1476 You do know that most victims of rape are actually men? Of course you don't because women don't care and men don't care either.
outsideworld76
HURR DURR YOU DO KNOW THAT MEN RAPE MEN TOO HURR DUUR. THAT TOTALLY INVALIDATES YOUR POINT ABOUT WOMEN SUFFERING.
I think the core message of this series is empathy...why I love it.
A lesson for us all. A nice bit of subtle, thought provoking, well produced and stylish animation. Don’t know why it popped up in my suggestion but really glad it did. Thanks.
All of us MALE OR FEMALE are working with incomplete pictures. Talk to each other not at each other
Have to say this is a really good video to see different points of view and more importantly the comment section here is really eye opening, not the usual devolution into chaos. Wish there were more open discussions like this.
Are we just going to casual ignore the stalker. Like wtf.
around the minute 3:00 and forward, you can tell what the whole episode is about.
What's all the fuss about the animated stalker?
He wasn't even part of the original script. He was only added later, to hide a small tear in the digital screen.
They're working on getting the screen repaired, so seriously...
just let it go already. 😉
Welcome to being a woman
@@InsomnyacRecords I am one, have been my entire adult life.(before that I was a kid)
My theory is that we often don’t know they are there until it’s too late, and even when we do we aren’t believed about it so... no one listened to me, except to say insulting and frankly terrifying things like “Look, I get that you BELIEVE he’s stalking you, but aren’t you maybe a little full of yourself for thinking so?” I was more afraid by everyone’s skepticism than the guy so I stopped telling people.
a feminist and a non-feminist, talking to eachother, instead of yelling at, didn't think respectful debate could happen anymore
mycollegeshirt Which one of these people wasn’t a super feminist?
but it,,wasn’t an actual debate, because it was just voice actors reading from a script?? even if it were a debate, it wouldn’t be that unfathomable.
Ah yes ,,,, this the pOint
It was not a debate. I was one person talking, and the other smiling and nodding.
It is easy to have a friendly debate if everyone is one the same side.
This is very well written, I enjoyed watching and learning.
This chanel is perfect !!!! I can’t believe it isn’t more popular
Why can’t I have conversations like this with people!!
@UCTuZUd0u4E5K-hcZ68qIRrA yea but it's still a masterpiece maybe people should talk like that a lot of things will improve in the society
It's REALLY obvious that they care about each other, even though they're soooo different... It's soooo sweet! 😊💕
Because people don't want to be told that what they're thinking isn't right.
I love how REAL honest they are
Awe sweetheart...
you could have deeply meaningful conversations like these too, if you really wanted to.
You are simply not drawing the right people to you.
Try using charcoal, or complementary pastel drawing pencils that have been meticulously sharpened.
In time, Dear, you'll learn to draw just the type of charactors that satisfy your desire for heartfelt conversation. 😉
"The women men don't see"
The girl/boyfriend that CZcams fans never own
What is wrong with watching cartoons
.
English might not be his first language, parasite.
even if not the commentors first language, the concept of owning a gf/bf is quite problematic
@@TaikiFouLung I don't think he really meant owning someone but having a girlfriend.
BTW.: lmao nice joke dude 😄
"Some day there will be sex robots. In the meantime, we have to deal with all the men who wish there were sex robots."
Ever see a young woman walking alone a night. Noone and I mean noone can walk as fast as her. I am a pretty fast walker and love to walk at night with my headphones on. On several occasions I had been passed by a girl usually between the ages of 16-30 just walking as fast as possible. lol. It is sad but I remember being a little boy and doing the same thing.
I wish I had a friendship as close as these two.
This makes me think how I always have to go somewhere with my male friends just so guys don’t hit on me or try to pick me up and honestly walking home alone scares me more than anything
What's just as scary if not scarier is being accompanied by a guy and it still happening. Once, I was walking home from a party in college with two girlfriends and my boyfriend at the time while passing one visibly drunk dude and his friend on the sidewalk. As they got closer, despite my boyfriend's presence, the drunk dude yelled, "Hey ladies, wanna get raped?" before getting dragged away from us by his friend. It looked too routine. We were all in shock as we kept walking, a little faster now, with my boyfriend making me walk in front of him so he could literally watch our backs. Toxic masculinity is rough whether it's performed inebriated or not, but when those inhibitions are gone (which can just as easily happen if a guy's being hyped up by his boys to do it in a catcalling scenario) it knows no bounds...
@@camillechargois3915 There is no such thing as toxic masculinity, there is such a thing as nasty behavior and women are not exempt from it.
Saw this as a snapchat reel, and had major anxiety the whole time cuz of the one fuckin dude. Came here to see if it was an extended cut, cuz i for some reason never thought to come to youtube to find it in normal video format. Anyways, glad to see that my anxiety will continue because it ends the exact same way and there is no extended cut. Its absolutely genius but terrifying. Thank you cracked
I didn't think I would get hooked in but I ended up watching the video until the end.
I have never seen this series before, but this episode was SO TRUE I gotta go bingewatch the rest. Thank you THANK YOU for explaining all this to everyone. I kinda wanna cry.
I think the stalker is more of a metaphor about shitty dudes always being around the corner yet guys never see them. Or something
It's not a metaphor, at the end of the episode her friend notice she also has a fake name in her !facebook like other women that have creepy exes or stalkers and do that to avoid being found by them online. Also she says that there are things she won't ever talk about with him and that she doesn't want to be a victim and just like that instead of telling us she has a fucking crazy stalker, God knows for how long, the creators show us the stalker and all the ways she evades him along this episode, pretending to be a couple with her bff and all that. It's all pretty straight dude.
Its not a metaphor. Its reality. It happens to us all the time.
I wish this kind of thing was a metaphor but I’ve personally been followed from one bar or party to another nearby by guys like that...one vocally aggressive which made it slightly easier for people to notice...the other quietly and just as insidiously unnoticeable to my dude friends
@@sophiajune546
Quick question, do you live in a city?
I like your metaphor. I mean stalkers exist but the metaphor is something I hadnt considered.
"And i know that's not what you'd want, even if the world you get isn't what you have imagined"
It hits so much after midnight
This should go viral. This is what real is. Thank you.
Im terrified of being a bad experience to someone else. Im not a psychopath or a bad person imo but the thought of me walking up to someone and that being enough for them to feel bad is enough for me to never try.
I know I’ve been a bad experience to women. I’m socially awkward as hell and just never knew how to act around women I’m attracted to. I at least have enough awareness to know that I’ve made some women uncomfortable. I now just avoid talking to women altogether. (Obviously I do talk to women but only women I know and aren’t attracted to and even then I limit those interactions now)
No matter how socially awkward you are, you can project decency by being earnest, honest, and automatically respecting boundaries.
Its 90% body language, and your allowed to like people and talk to them. You can also do that without being a creep about it. Its very easy if your ok with rejection because you understand the other sides perspective.
That thing she said about men being physically stronger and it creating a power imbalance is somewhat true, however I think it's a bit of a generalisation. As a girl I can be physically and emotionally intimidated by people of either gender- it's not so much about them being male or female, more about their personality. Like if you had a 6 foot male heavyweight champion who was a pacifist, vs a short skinny woman who's batshit crazy and wants to gouge out your eyes with a fork, I'd say the man is way less intimidating in that scenario, because although he could hurt you, you know he wouldn't. This show always makes me think a lot.
Well but how do you know the heavyweight champion is a pacifist when you're riding on public transport at night and he sits in front of you even though the train is empty
Jeste Nobody knows he's a pacifist because she SAID she knows him, not every man large or small is going to try and assault or take advantage of someone when the opportunity shows. The bottom line is that it's not fair to never trust someone even if you've known them forever just because they 'could' harm you. The point of not trusting strangers is because they are strangers but you should trust the people you know because they likely won't care to much about you if you only ever think poorly of them.
My mom, was a 40+ year old, 5ft 9, sturdy built, ex saleswoman, 5 property having, sports car driving behemoth when she was bullied by a little 5ft tall old white boss at work, who cornered her in an office after hours. She was trapped by this little old grandma getting in her face, calling her all sorts, threatening to fire her and call the police on her. This little old lady was willing to lie and say my mom had attacked her and started hitting herself. The police came to our home to arrest my mom. She was devastated. Luckily cctv showed the old woman was lying. Bullying and intimidation can come from anyone. It's about power. If my mom had retaliated at all, she'd be in prison now. But she's never regained her confidence. She's not the same as she was
@@luisa146 that's not my point. The point is that creepy and threatening behaviour isnt scary because "he's a man", what makes a person scary (in my opinion) is their fucked up personality and desire to hurt, manipulate and otherwise abuse people. And these desires can be felt by people of either gender. For me, intimidation is not about a person's physical strength, and whether they COULD hurt you. It's about whether they would, given the chance.
I understand. For me it's different, because I know I could fight the skinny woman if she attacked me regardless of her personality, but the only defense I'd have against a huge guy is running. I guess everyone has their own personal fears each different from the others'
I should get in the habbit of watching these videos even when I'm doing okay, instead of only once I'm completely beaten down.
Women men don't see - Any of them over 30 that have hit the wall, they literally become invisible.
Underrated
What wall?
When I was in a relationship with a very friendly, pretty easy to approach and beautiful girlfriend, I really learned A LOT about the creepiness of men. Especially the shy, 'nice' creeps, but all sorts really. Over time and with some of the stories she told me, I dread to think about the times I had behaved as one.
Edit: Oh and it can still happen, either out of thoughtlessness, or in ways I'm not aware. It's probably bound to happen, but keeping an eye out on how you make people feel (not just through words) should be on every person's agenda.
Richy well i'm sorry for what happened to your ex. But i think it's also important to know that "creeps" is not only men, it can be women too and that everyone should be aware how they "come on" to pepole. my guy friend had a few girls approach him even though he was in a relationship and one of those girls was actually bff with his then girlfriend, he said it always made him uncomfortable each time that girl spent the night so he'd avoid her and crash at his brothers instead. He never told anyone since ha was scared noone would belive him over his Ex's bff.
Yeah sure, people are weird in general.
I also knew a girl that stalked a dude she had a crush on, even learned his blood type and everything, and like any dude she was interested in, she did the same. Creepy af and the poor guys didn't know.
I can relate to this so much. I have met so many creeps it feels like i have massive flag saying 'i love creeps'. It's extremely common. The worst was a guy sending me death threats just because I didn't want to meet him (I found him creepy). Some guys really need to get their shit together and behave like humans not like monkeys. This is reason why aliens never visit us
Kay: bless they didn't or they might have been scarred for life.
So, was no other man on here a dweeby nerd stalked by bullies as a kid, people who could make the walk home from school a nightmare, who can sympathize with these women? Because I am.
The person following you might be the police chief's son, or a school principal's, or from a rich family. He might have a violent or borderline criminal group of friends himself, or just be heedless enough of his own well-being or reputation to find more horrIble things to do after being confronted. He might just be an unknown quantity, one you have to weigh the risk of facing down, and that risk gets bigger every time you try and it doesn't work out.
Your family might have its own issues and be in no real position to help. Teachers won't help because it'll only cause trouble for them, or can't because their available options in the system are limited. Your biggest guy friend won't always be there to protect you, and might bail on you when he realizes it's ultimately not really his problem and the stalker/bully is more trouble than he wants to deal with - or, he might mean well but just be busy or out of town one day. If your big friend does beat him down at some point, you can fucking bet the bully will remember it and get revenge - on just you, probably - usually with a group backing him, maybe even after you think things have been resolved.
So you plan your route home carefully every day to try and avoid him and his buddies, and try to find groups to travel with, and there will be days that doesn't work. It can reach the point at which it's actually preferable to take a moderate beating now and then rather than speak up and reaffirm the reality that people you love are either ultimately helpless, will only make things worse for you and for themselves by trying to help, or are just not coming to your defense. I had a big visible scar on the side of my face for a month that no one got in trouble for because it was obviously just from roughhousing. I was jumped by a family friend's kid in a bedroom with our parents right downstairs because he knew he could get away with it. And other stuff.
I'm not saying this because I want sympathy, because there's no need or point now and the people who most need to have it won't, especially online - they'll just be happy to tell me what I should've done, usually implying I'm stupid, weak or lying. But I know I wasn't the only kid like this, and it's crushing to see other men, some of whom must've been boys like me, not be able to find some kind of empathy for what women go through.
Too long, didn't read
Thanks for sharing, I know how horrible it can be, and over all thanks for empathize with women, stalking and bullying are freaking horrible (I also know it by first hand) I really hope people would understand and try to stop this, because it's plain terrifying for anyone.
I actually know this feeling. And that despite the fact that I´ve always been quite large for my age and volatile in self defense. That just doesnt help you very much if you expect the bullies to be assholes enough to come in groups and/or come armed with stones, bottles or maybe a pocket knive... or, if they´ve got no balls, just mess up your stuff when you´re not around. Taking things from your school bag or putting disgusting things in it, cutting up you bycicle while it´s in the schools bike lot and all these kinds of nasty things.
"The person following you might be the police chief's son, or a school principal's, or from a rich family. He might have a violent or borderline criminal group of friends himself, or just be heedless enough of his own well-being or reputation to find more horrIble things to do after being confronted. He might just be an unknown quantity, one you have to weigh the risk of facing down, and that risk gets bigger every time you try and it doesn't work out."
This isn't a gotcha, but is there a part to the story that explains why the police weren't called?
Ryan Sutherland So, leave aside the possibilities I listed (like bullies with powerful or influential friends or families who make calling authorities outright dangerous).
In my case, my parents saw the damage in a couple cases; at no point was calling authorities even mentioned as an option. Calling the police would have just gotten astonished stares, including from the cops themselves. I mean, I would've been mercilessly ridiculed for YEARS for calling POLICE for just being beat up, and it would've meant a lot of involvement from, and life disruption for, my parents and family. And when another family member is involved... what are you supposed to do if what everyone wants, including your family, is for the problem to just have never happened? When there's only cost and no benefit in pursuing a solution for anyone but you? And not even benefit for you, if it means your entire family being angry at you?
Even just in school, tattling was a sure way to get yourself even further ostracized or attacked down the road. If you told on someone, it just showed you were weak, that you deserved what you got, that you couldn't defend yourself, and the most the attacker would get was a stern talking-to or warning (after giving their side of the story, backed up by pressure from
their parents), which was not going to deter the next attack for very long.
And I don't blame my parents. Everyone's unspoken opinion, including mine, was that none of this was important enough to involve authorities or cause a fuss. The culture to do anything just wasn't there. If you were weaker than the other guy, and he caught you undefended, and he wanted to beat you, you got beat.
The one time something was done was when I was knocked out on the playground by another kid in front of dozens of other kids. (Good punch too fwiw.) Guy got suspended for 3 days. No tattle penalty because everyone saw exactly what happened, and after he got back the guy never bothered me again. Not sure what lesson to take from that, other than to never get caught alone.
Some of this, at least with regard to being actually beaten by other kids, seems to have improved from when I was a kid. But I see strong echoes of it in how people are talking about women and sexual assault.
As a male, I often feel like feminism talks about the problems women go through but rarely gives answers as to how I can respectfully interact with women and successfully develop relationships with them. So I'm confused. I'm not offended, just don't know what to do.
However, I like how the video takes on a sympathetic tone. It gives you the issues that women deal with. Then it also says "But its not your job to protect me, and I wouldn't want you to." This video understands that men don't know these things and don't know what to do about it, telling them they're not responsible so long as they don't act like douche bags. I like the quote "You are who you are in spite of. Not because of." This states that Man A isn't responsible for Man B's actions so long as he doesn't commit the same actions. At the end, both characters are left explaining how feminism and gender equality are never ending personal journeys, not a fixed and exact set of ideas.
Like she said, you have to be a person women feel comfortable enough to express these things to and just listen to them. The best way to start: if a women sets a boundary with you, listen. I hope you know, I don’t mean to be condescending - it really is that simple. So many men just don’t listen. Hell, sometimes I’m in situations where my lack of response prompted an argument - like “aw come on it’s a joke” when I don’t laugh at something I don’t find funny... when I meet a guy who just lets me not laugh and listens when I say I don’t like something without making me explain why, I’m infinitely more trusting of him and I know many women that feel the same way.
If you really don’t need this advice then just keep doing what you’re doing.
That Michagen J Frog reference was absolutely perfect!
Haha, "Someone corners you and you need to 'nice' your way out it." How accurate.
This was a really good one.
I could barely follow what they were saying because of how panic inducing it was to see that stalker flicker in and out while following them. 😣
great video. that startup point had me thinking for a bit