I’m 57. No kids. No wife. Drinking wine out of a Burger King cup. I am still trying to pick up women at local sports bars and getting rejected. Going home alone every night. Watching Tim Dillon videos on CZcams. Life in the big city.
GraNOLAbar I paid for a prostitute last week and she took one look at me when she arrived at my house and said no. I’m just a giant blob of fat, sweat and hair. If I lost 100 pounds I would still be 300 pounds. I don’t blame her. I’m a loser. My step dad was right. The single life right? I was going to get married but I broke it off because I thought I would have unlimited supply of pussy. That dried up after the first 30 pound weight gain back in 07. Sigh. Life in the big city. Enjoy! Yes!
I’d turn a trick with you. No funny business tho. Ya can’t beat me up or anything & you’d need a condom. I haven’t whored in maybe three years but you’re pulling at my heart strings
I actually listen to the ads. They are hilarious and I've actually THOUGHT about signing up for it went to the page and everything but in quarantine I'm a broke boy.
I love this battle Tim's having with the crazy woman yelling in the bushes, unaware of the fact that he's the exact same person but he's got a microphone.
That's all I kept thinking 😂 Maybe she heard him first and she's down there talking shit about him and hollering and howling thrashing bushes and limbs to act bigger and louder 😂😂😂 HE has driven HER insane..
I was addicted to heroin and eventually fentanyl for years up until may 5th of this year. I got hit by a 2001 BMW going 50 mph and woke up a month later. Another month of learning to walk again and im out of the hospital. So if your struggling with opiate addiction and cant quit, just get hit by a car, if you live through it you come out clean... it sucked crapping in a bed pan and having a nurse wipe my ass for over a month but it sure beats being dope sick in the Santa Ana central jail. No brainer.
Brah, that’s fucking righteous dude. I was in your same boat except I didn’t get hit by a car and it took me ten years of fits and starts to finally actually quit. You are the man, I hope you are doing well and loving life. Good luck my guy
When my Uncle Tommy died unexpectedly of a massive heart attack at a young age, our family was really torn up to say the least, the first 45 min of the showing no one spoke, just crying and sobbing uncontrollably, death was strangling the room. Enter my Uncle Bill, observes the situation and looks to me and my cousins and says , "I don't even know what I'm doing here, he isn't coming to my funeral." To hear 80 people go from sobs to a laughing fit was a beautiful thing.
@@JackNoman you're right. I grew stevia and if you get a leaf and dry it for 3 days THEN sit it on your tounge and gently nibble..... the sweetness nearly blows your head off! It's strange to experience sweetness stronger than sugar.
Coming back to these episodes in 2022 is so important. Tim has been at this for years and all of the content she’s so well. Congrats to Tim and Ben for the success they have here in 2022.
I just wanted to say thank you. I've burned through your videos in the last couple months and it's helped keep me sane. Thank you for the laughs. "Little rona'" was the best video of 2020 imho
Mate, can't you get your people to fund Tim so he can subvert the US government and media more effectively? I feel like there's a lot of potential here.
Blazed and Confused glad somebody said it. There’s a hell of an opportunity here. Eventually get him in the Trump 2028 cabinet too. If it’s hell I want hell with a splash of excitement
Tim, I can’t thank you enough for the advice. I have been canceling my family members who don’t understand the grind and do not hustle. My life has become better ever since.
Going back to watch Tim Dillon episodes is the best entertainment you’ll ever have Absolute comedy gold and it doesn’t matter a fecken iota what year it is Absolute genius 👏
i find myself watching old podcasts. free from tyranny talk. it is so nice to be back in time when the world was just regular fucked up and conversations were wide and fun.
just started peeping this podcast, always heard of tim dillon saying crazy wild shit but wouldnt think it would be gettin me thru the day at my early ass job at 5am😂appreciate you bro
I’m 57. No kids. No wife. Drinking wine out of a Burger King cup. I am still trying to pick up women at local sports bars and getting rejected. Going home alone every night. Watching Tim Dillon videos on CZcams. Life in the big city.
PJ Stone not likely
GraNOLAbar I paid for a prostitute last week and she took one look at me when she arrived at my house and said no. I’m just a giant blob of fat, sweat and hair. If I lost 100 pounds I would still be 300 pounds. I don’t blame her. I’m a loser. My step dad was right. The single life right? I was going to get married but I broke it off because I thought I would have unlimited supply of pussy. That dried up after the first 30 pound weight gain back in 07. Sigh. Life in the big city. Enjoy! Yes!
Lol this dude can’t be real
@@Vmh1717 nah, he's clearly riffing and trying to do a bit in the style of Tim, but not as funny, the material is too similar.
I’d turn a trick with you. No funny business tho. Ya can’t beat me up or anything & you’d need a condom. I haven’t whored in maybe three years but you’re pulling at my heart strings
I love that Better Help still pays for these ads
😂😂😂🤣
They know the mentally depraved listen to Tim Dillon. It’s a win win 🤣
The fact that they are mentioned in the comments means its working! They are still sponsors btw.
I actually listen to the ads. They are hilarious and I've actually THOUGHT about signing up for it went to the page and everything but in quarantine I'm a broke boy.
@@asopher That's so disturbing. 😅 Love it. 👌
Woke up drunk at 5:30 and made a drink and then saw this just dropped. Life in the Big City.
I got into a road rage incident and ran over a cyclist. Life in the big city
@@PT-tv9my just saw 2 people smoking crack right outside my window life in the big city
Life in the Big City is one of the best ones.
Just stepped over human shit...life in the big city
just railed a line of blow in my cubicle. life in the big city.
“In LA they have silent retreats and yoga, in the northeast we have FUNERALS!”
LMFAO
It's funny AND true! We just buried my cousin and saw everyone, ate great food and felt happy to be alive.
@@colleenlally-ross7105 How long was Ol' Cousin Jimmy on the junk before it took her?
If that's your photo . You're hella cute.
Good god these classic Tim Dillon episodes are absolute gold 😭
I love this battle Tim's having with the crazy woman yelling in the bushes, unaware of the fact that he's the exact same person but he's got a microphone.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh, he knows
haha dude niiice
Oh he definitely knew, that's why he kept doing it lol
That's all I kept thinking 😂 Maybe she heard him first and she's down there talking shit about him and hollering and howling thrashing bushes and limbs to act bigger and louder 😂😂😂 HE has driven HER insane..
Please get back together.
Cry more. Go watch Ben's podcast if you love him so much.
@@bbluva20dont be so angry
"better help is better than nothing" lmao
Travis I died
😭😭😩
🤣🤣🤣
Hard ti believe, I still can't stop laughing 😝
This was a special time. Fall of 2019 Tim Dillon was on absolute fire. Never has been and never will be a better podcast.
I’ve gone back to watch these for the first time and they’re incredible. It’s too early to say he peaked here but they’re DAMN good nevertheless
go see him live he is amazing
Try the archived episode "Pizza Hut Buffet" or especially "Fat Gay Santa"he was WILD between episodes 10-30!
@@milesbeler3974 thanks!! Firing them up now
@@milesbeler3974 wait, are these on his Patreon? I’m not subscribed and they’re not on CZcams. Maybe it’s time to pay 😭
This is Tim Dillon golden era. Have listened this episode about 15 times. A fucking classic
I'm also back to soak this in once more.
@@matthewstone1362 samesies
miss the good old days
@@frwystrI can’t even listen to the new ep’s. These old ones are so good
@@Waveydriver yeah new ones arw not even worth tuning into sorry piggy
"Is she allowed?... it's too dark to tell, thankfully "😂😂😂
The ONLY place on the interwebs where I get excited for an advertisement!
Stellar Celeste him and a channel called internet historian actually have entertaining ads.... it’s the way to do them tbh
Stellar Celeste When he said he only has one Better Help ad left, I thought they must have finally listened to his reads. Lol
Uncle Joey's ads are good as well
comixbrainz zzz But in all honesty, the ONLY time I’ve even considered going to Better Help is BECAUSE of Tim’s ads... Better Help NEEDS Tim Dillon.
His ad reads are more hilarious than most people/"comics" Netflix specials.
My productivity at work has plummeted since discovering Tim's show. Its the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard.
I was addicted to heroin and eventually fentanyl for years up until may 5th of this year. I got hit by a 2001 BMW going 50 mph and woke up a month later. Another month of learning to walk again and im out of the hospital. So if your struggling with opiate addiction and cant quit, just get hit by a car, if you live through it you come out clean... it sucked crapping in a bed pan and having a nurse wipe my ass for over a month but it sure beats being dope sick in the Santa Ana central jail. No brainer.
Brah, that’s fucking righteous dude. I was in your same boat except I didn’t get hit by a car and it took me ten years of fits and starts to finally actually quit. You are the man, I hope you are doing well and loving life. Good luck my guy
Life in the big city.
Big city living
im glad the year of the car was included
Hey dude are ya still clean or relapsed? Hello from Poland!
When my Uncle Tommy died unexpectedly of a massive heart attack at a young age, our family was really torn up to say the least, the first 45 min of the showing no one spoke, just crying and sobbing uncontrollably, death was strangling the room. Enter my Uncle Bill, observes the situation and looks to me and my cousins and says , "I don't even know what I'm doing here, he isn't coming to my funeral." To hear 80 people go from sobs to a laughing fit was a beautiful thing.
Fucking hilarious
your 'uncle' bill is a hack and youre an id-iot
Which Patreon tier gets me access to the bushes next door so I can yell during the next episode?
A bag of plasma a month
The Epstein tier
Presenting him Hilary Clinton's head impaled on a stake would probably do the trick for Timmy
Yes!!!😂
Crazy lady in the bushes thrashing around.......... life in the big city.
Joyce Rey
100% accurate
Looking skinny from that alcohol sugar diarrhea. Proud of you Tim.
stevia is the healthiest artifical sweetener and it's actually way better for u than any other sugar substitute
@@JackNoman you're right. I grew stevia and if you get a leaf and dry it for 3 days THEN sit it on your tounge and gently nibble..... the sweetness nearly blows your head off! It's strange to experience sweetness stronger than sugar.
I honestly can't even taste the sweetness in erythirol.
This dude captures the north east so well. It’s so so hilarious
What I love about this show is that you can go back and watch the older stuff and still funny.
Coming back to these episodes in 2022 is so important. Tim has been at this for years and all of the content she’s so well. Congrats to Tim and Ben for the success they have here in 2022.
Tim is what happens when a man of the world becomes an American.
I always come back to this episode. This was peak Tim Dillon.
It's in the favorites playlist for sure
The commercials are so ridiculously long. I love it.
If it is funny, you can say whatever you want. 😎😝
The fact that better help pays for an ad like this is just fantastic, brilliant work Tim
Tim looking like a whole (Keto friendly) snack!
Get your grubby convict hands off of my Keto Torpedo!
"I wouldn't advertise a product on this show that wasn't a scam"
The honesty speaks to me, shame my fake therapist doesn't
Better Help wants to get rid of Tim but since he’s their main source for clients they’re going to let it ride.
😂❤
Judge: you’re still looking at 40 years
Tekashi: you can flank the Spartans if you take this goat path
XD
Kek
😂😂😂
Unforgivable
I am dying laughing! This has got to be one of the best episodes EVER!
Each episode is like a flawless special ? Wow its fucking impressive
I just wanted to say thank you. I've burned through your videos in the last couple months and it's helped keep me sane. Thank you for the laughs. "Little rona'" was the best video of 2020 imho
Lil' Rona skeet:
czcams.com/video/KbVrVbYe0HU/video.html
So sick of Covid I just wanna watch Tim Dillon eps from last year all day
Underrated comedian
Underrated podcast
I'm sure you will make it soon
Much love from Saudi Arabia !
Naif MS He’s “made it” already by being one of the best to ever hold a mic, it’s only a matter of time before the rest of the world realizes it.
Mate, can't you get your people to fund Tim so he can subvert the US government and media more effectively? I feel like there's a lot of potential here.
Blazed and Confused glad somebody said it. There’s a hell of an opportunity here. Eventually get him in the Trump 2028 cabinet too. If it’s hell I want hell with a splash of excitement
@@blazedandconfused477 they throw people like Tim off of buildings in his country
@@bev_buntu4674 So how about, instead of throwing him off a rooftop, throw him at your enemies.
Tim Dillon is a fucking lighthouse of clarity, sanity and mother fucking exacting honesty. A palate cleanser, in a world that desperately needs one.
I come back and watch these porch episodes in important moments of life. Helps me to reflect
me screaming focaccia and naan in my house for 30 min. and yes unleavened bread is matza. and yes i know this ep is a year old.
lmaooo I was screaming baguette
banana bread!
Yes I know this reply is a year old but it screams Pig fandom
Matzah is unleavened, but so are tortillas
The whole time I was screaming banana bread
Can I book you to speak at my funeral?
To show you're serious you have to disown someone you love
“I’m not saying it’s good! It’s *bad*.. It’s very sad, life is.. a meaningless nightmare”
G G I’m actually introducing Shakeology to my family this weekend...
Stellar Celeste what an excellent idea.
Tim, I can’t thank you enough for the advice. I have been canceling my family members who don’t understand the grind and do not hustle. My life has become better ever since.
I thought I was the only one who felt this way about funerals.
You look thin what have you been doing? “Take a seat”
It’s great to see Jeffrey Dahmer has gone on to have a pretty successful career as a producer for this show.
The accuracy.
When you're creasing at an advert more than other comedian's thought out comedy - you know Tim is the real authentic deal.
The way this guy does his sponsors are insane lol.
Listen to cumtown
I wonder if shakeology every advertised again
I’m sure somebody already said this but Tim’s love for funerals is straight out of Fight Club
Tim paints with words as do all the greats.
🤣 Just watched 2 bears 1 cave, they spent 20min talking about different peanut butter.
One of my fav episodes with Tim randomly ranting about some obnoxious woman yelling the n word lol
1:11:00 Did Tim almost predict the capitol building breech? 😂
Lets be honest, it was a long time coming, and im shocked it never happened before
Tim Dillon predicted everything
Just recently discovered the Tim Dillon from tin foil. Holy hell he is hilarious. About to go on a dillon binge.
Could you imagine Tim trying to recruit you for beach body? I'd shut up through the whole pitch just to hear him talk.
tim dillon 2024
Tim: "I don't even *like* sourdough"
Ben: *shakes head*
These are truly the best ever. His new stuff is still good but these are another level
The best Tim Dillon eps are on the porch.
"Wanna do something stupid? Call BETTER HELP, they'll getcha goin.."
😂
Little did we know, but this was the best Tim of all time.
1:13:57 I'll allow it, I'm not thrilled with it.." 😂
I would love to see Tim’s heart rate during these podcasts 😂
Feeling so great for Tim. Looking great racking up a quick 15k CZcams views. Crushing it
As someone who watches to mutch Tim Dillon the funeral bit gets me every time
PERFECT TIMING. Good morning from Denmark
Yep perfect timing for Europe ☕
Jensen here, much love you Scandi
My Mom was a Tupperware lady. Wasn't exactly a scam,but her almost religious fervor for quality plastic containers was rather strange.
"Only for snitching" that's a great description of social media.
with covid, I have the luxury of watching Timmy all day long, between diarrhea and vomiting
Can only picture my dad’s funeral and wake, this episode helps me reflect sometimes
My cat has alot of wisdom in his face, therefore, he's better than staring at the wall. I learned this today, thanks Tim
Tim's right. Funerals ARE great. One a month would be ideal for my needs.
I've watched this episode 3 times now just because of the bush lady! 🤣
Alex Jones and Chris Farley made a baby and named it Tim Dillon
I grew up on the island n parents always talked about the “Van” always had my head on a swivel playing outside😂😂😂
I miss these episodes
watching this for the first time felt insane
That funeral rip was gold. "In LA they have yoga retreats--in NY we had funerals"
I never thought I'd be screaming focaccia bread at my phone but here we are....
The crazy lady made this my fav episode lol
Producer Ben is hilarious as a straight man to TDs crazy rants 🔥❤️
Ben received a thrashing on this on. The one thing I will say, the kid is tougher than most of the listeners 😂
Me screaming at the screen during the bread-off "NAAN. NAAN.NAAN BREAD."
“I don’t rat.” -Tim Dillon
I listen to your show even when I’m walking in public and always burst out laughing...
Was the bread-off the keto version of forcing a cellmate to tell you dirty stories?
Can someone bail me out?
czcams.com/video/P9eP3GSkW-U/video.html
@@ishaanchopra956 tf is the video?
Tim taking mini-breaks to yell at the lady across the way is one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed😂😂 like 9:55
The bread naming competition is actually great, im gonna use that whenever i cant think of anything to say
I have been listening to these so much lately that now the voice in my head sounds like Tim's voice.
I always start my day with a td podcast. It's honestly the only way i can get going since i can't have oxys anymore
Going back to watch Tim Dillon episodes is the best entertainment you’ll ever have
Absolute comedy gold and it doesn’t matter a fecken iota what year it is
Absolute genius 👏
Ben makes me happy.
"The point is I have contempt for all you, and I should just start doing garbage!"
Tim's reaction after Ben says 'potato bread' might be the funniest part of the episode.
You make a broken sole actuly feel laughter thanks tim
i find myself watching old podcasts. free from tyranny talk. it is so nice to be back in time when the world was just regular fucked up and conversations were wide and fun.
You can run, but you can’t hide
@@OpethTheater3 i don't hide from cocksuckers. i am sovereign.
2024 and looking for almost anything pre-2020
2 years later and better help is still a sponsor
First podcast I’ve seen of this dude and he’s fucking hilarious
You get hooked lmao?
First one of his for me was the gates of hell, and I’ll never be the same
Timmy!! You look glowing!!!! Keep it up man. We need you.
just listening to old podcasts and somehow Tim Dillon was right about lil Xan snitching LOL
One of the greatest episodes
"im fucking here" - Tim Dillon - September 29 2019
That better help advert is honestly pure art!
This Bread Off in my earphones at work is the best thing I have in my life right now with only NEGATIVE $2.25 in my bank account
just started peeping this podcast, always heard of tim dillon saying crazy wild shit but wouldnt think it would be gettin me thru the day at my early ass job at 5am😂appreciate you bro