The Most Important Dementia Care Video Of 2023
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- čas přidán 26. 07. 2024
- If you are caring for a loved one with any type of dementia, then this is the most important video you can watch. Mary cared for her husband with Alzheimer's disease who at the time of this interview passed away 1 week earlier. She shares how she went from despair to joy and jam packs in amazing tips she used to help her along the way. Seriously, you don't want to miss a minute as she sprinkles them in throughout our entire talk.
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In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. In my job, I help people with dementia, and their caregivers, by visiting them in their own homes and helping them cope through the many struggles of caring for someone with dementia. I have always wanted to help more people than is possible for me in a work day. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I do this in my spare time. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacaregiver
My Dad became a big teddy bear with Lewy Body & I was his caregiver & the only person he didnt know! He would ask me my name then say he had a daughter with the exact same name!! Told him it was a small world & he would kiss my hand & smile. He would ask to go home & I would take his hand & guide him from family room to his bedroom & he would tell me how grateful he was that I took him “home”❤️❤️😢
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I think dementia has reduced anxiety in my mom because she can't track anything long term. Its made her nicer.
Thank you so much. You don’t know how much it is going to help me as a caregiver of my husband with dementia -alzheimer. He is 82 years old and I am 64.
I have been learning by myself how to take care of him. But listening to this video, or will help me a lot.
Asking for help is so hard, I know how that feels. I am not good at asking for help, I think it is normal to try to do it all and keep it all together without relying on anyone else.
Boy did Mary nail it when she said Our Loved One’s are Mirrors! What you Give is what you Get…The Dementia Gift Phrase of the Year🎉
This is Pure Gold.😊
This video is my life 😢❤️ My story is Mary’s ❤️ My hubby is loving and kind
Hubby just started to want to go home
I tell him we will soon , we are house sitting for G Kids
I too put hubby in Memory care, my experience was as great as Mary’s
I am thrilled I brought hubby home
Thx you Mary for sharing your story ❤️
I’m learning so much about the language of dementia thanks to you and your guests. Thank you; you’re such a blessing ❤
Oh my! Praise Jesus for this channel..I've been your silent subscriber since 2020. I'm learning a lot, as I live this life taking care of my hubby with dementia too. 40 years difference.
Thank you so much! Mary is amazing. I watched another video you did with her and that one was also great. She’s so inspiring. I know she learned much of these things from your course. Thank you Dr Natalie for the free information you give for those who can’t purchase the course at this time. I just want Mary to know that telling her story is helping others. It’s a gift to those of us searching for help.
Thank you so much.
Bless you both. Soooooo... many things you said are true for me and my caring for my wife. We have been married for almost 60 years.
Just wanted to say a big heartfelt thankyou from the UK. Looking after Mum has been so difficult throughout her Alzheimer's. There's so much positivity and practical advice on this channel, has helped massively ❤
What a tremendous blessing to hear Mary's story. Thank you so much. This is the path I'm learning with my loved one. We smile and laugh and pray and hug and kiss more than before in 30 year marriage. Instead of getting angry with him I have to accept these are his limits so plan with him for getting help in. We discuss the caregiver for my disability, the gardener and maintenance workers so he understands why they are in his house and yard. He even talks to them about the way to repair something. He has learned to trust me. I have learned to ask him questions about his odd behavior and come up with acceptable solutions to his needs. He refuses to go to a doctor. He still drives and does a lot of things. He does copy me. If I relax he can relax.
Sorry, I had to stop watching this because it brought tears to my eyes.😢
I learned to ‘speak Alzheimer’s’ It’s a complete different language. I speak English, Spanish and Alzheimer’s!❤
Yes, it IS like another language!
Thanks you for your comment. I can totally relate to that. I also speak all 3.❤
😅
Me too! Lol but I just speak English and dementia, esp when I post it comment on social media!
Interesting
That was such a beautiful, amazing story with Mary. Thank you both for sharing.
She is amazing! 💖
What an amazing story. I understand the feeling of "thinking he was getting better....we had that for many years and then he changed again.....and not in a good way. Mary your attitude is amazing. I don't know how you were so patient or so positive.
All of this makes so much sense, and I totally see the difference in behavior when you can just roll with everything. My struggle is that I'm 41, mother of 5 children (ages 5-14) and was caring for my mother in-law in our home. Having to live in what I called "nonsensical world" at the same time needing to be present for my kiddos was taking me to a breaking point. MIL is now in a facility and I feel so much relief but partially guilty. I know she doesn't want to be there. I wanted to be able to care for her, but maybe have realized that in our chapter of life right now, we need help and can't live "both ways." She is safe and we are only a couple hundred yards away so visit very often. We can be the fun people and not the obstacles for her now. So many mixed emotions... but I so very much appreciate tuning into videos and continuing to learn.
This sounds like an ideal arrangement. 💐
Very beautiful story....I can see myself as home base, but I can't see myself in his world right now. I will try, and am so privileged to see your love.
Thank you Thank you Thank you both❤
This conversation with MARY was so interesting and i could relate to alot with my husband.THANK YOU
It is so great to see Mary. She is just wonderful and she will help so many people.
Mary thank you so much listening to your story melts my heart. You and your husband were a very special couple. I am going through this with my father, but along with dementia he also has COPD and severe emphysema. I struggle every day with him, but I try to keep positive, redirect him, and so far it has worked. A Big struggle. I am dealing with right now is that he wants me to go and buy cigarettes for him as he has always been a smoker. I did do that in the beginning explaining to him that he needs to smoke outside as the building he is in is smoke-free, and as well take off his oxygen, as he is on oxygen now. A couple of weeks ago my brother walked in and caught him sitting on the toilet with his oxygen on and smoking a cigarette, needless to say he was not very happy. I’m really struggling when he asked me to go and buy him cigarettes, I have been able to redirect him but he remembers the next day and asked me again. Any tips or advice I could get on this I would really appreciate as I hate to say no to him and keep redirecting him because I don’t want him to resent me for not giving him what he wants. Thank you so much again and Dr. Natalie I have just found you in the last couple of days so I look forward to watching your videos and learning. Judy Wallace from Peterborough Ontario Canada
Thank you Mary. So sorry for your loss. I'm looking for that joy. Dt Natalie, you are so helpful. Your compassion is like a warm and loving hug.
Mary is the best. I love her. I learned a lot. Some of it hits home, so I understand. My husband is very loving also. I have not asked for help yet since he is still aware of many things. He doesn't want it and says he doesn't need it.
Hello Dr Natalie. Can you do a video on mental health help counseling therapy for people with dementia and having mental problems like bipolar being toxic etc and how to deal with it and accept it. Please this will help everyone especially with mental health is on the rise in today's world we live in 😢
This has helped so much. I have felt so alone trying to deal with my husband's dementia.
The most inspiring caregiving story I’ve ever heard. Thank you. 💖
Wonderful example to me with my husband with diamentia - thkx u so much - learnt alot i didnt know especially abt myself - thk u again
More interviews please ❤️ this was beautiful
More interviews are coming your way...stay tuned :)
This was such a blessing to me this morning 😭🙏🏽
This is the first of Mary's videos I have seen. It's probably the most helpful video I have seen so far. Thank you so much! I plan to listen to as many as I can locate. :)
Nice conversation. My Mum gets frustrated that she can't remember where she has put her things and sometimes complains that she can't remember
I hope Mary's story has given you some inspiration and new ideas!
We can learn so much from those who worked through this journey of dementia, Alzheimer’s caregivers,you have to connect on their level to have success! I am in this process as a husband of a dementia patient and have learned so much from your videos and Mary ‘s story is a great example!😊
This gives me hope
THANKS.
Thank you Mary for sharing! I’m sorry for the loss of your husband Jim! I’m glad that you had a wonderful relationship for 53 years!!!
You are a great example as a careblazer to be open and willing to try new techniques and to caring! Jim was so blessed!!!
Wishing you all the best in this next season for you! Thank you Dr. Natalie for sharing this conversation! So inspiring!!!!
This is the most rewarding video I've watched yet. Thank you so much Dr Natali and Mary for sharing this. The similarities I found with Mary's story and that of my own, caring for my dad were incredibly comforting. This community lets me know I am not alone and reassures me that my mum and I are doing a good job as we try to navigate this world of dementia.
So, so grateful 🙏
Wow Mary, I so needed to hear your words of love for your hubby and how to deal with dementia. We were just told my hubby may have Lewy Body Dementia via the cognitive test, but the Movement Specialist thinks it's PD dementia. Regardless, life is stressful and I try so hard to be positive, that's just who I am, at least most of the time. Asking for help is hard for me, Thank you. Blessings and Smiles ❣️
Appreciate you and what you share with the world❤
Thank you so much for your support 💖
Thank you!
Wow so helpful thank you so much
Oh my word I ADORE Mary and her sweet can do matter of fact nature. Oh how I would love to know her personally!
Ok I love y'all too. I need the CARE COURSE NOW AND BAD TY
I needed this. Thank you.
You are amazing Mary. Thank you for sharing. All the best for you xxx
Thank you for this video.
What a wonderful video. This sounds almost like my story. I feel so much better now. Removing all things that causes his agitation. Pictures etc and even covering mirrors. Respite for me and then having him home. Can’t say enough for Mary’s story.
I loved this so much! Thank you so much for sharing ❤️
Thanks both of you for sharing this story. ❤
You're so welcome!
Mary your story is so inspiring. I think about your previous video with Dr. Natalie often. It showed me how to let go of stuff, and my set, specific, mindset. Just to accept him and if not dangerous, then just enjoy the good moments. I ask for his help and say please and thank you. He will do anything I ask because I tell him it is help for me which makes him more than willing. So sad to loose them in the end even though we know it is coming. Still sad. Enjoy your next chapter while those of us carry on in our caregiving journeys.
Mary, you are a Saint, an Inspiration, thank you. I will try and be more like you.
Cecilia, thank you. Just do YOU! You’ll be wonderful ❤
Bless you Mary and Natali.
I had two years of great marriage--have been married twelve! He changed from a wonderful, kind spouse to an angry spoiled toddler who thinks I am his worst enemy. The sweet kind approach toward them does not work with some people, so it can be quite shaming when you make us feel like our LO would act better if we were just sweeter and more patient. Very misleading. I do not argue anymore. He says, you try to control me, you are a bitch. I say, Yes I am in control, so I take care of you and me.
It takes the wind right out of his argument when I agree..Unlike the lady here...I am sad, and I am depressed. NO one I know wants to hear that.
I'm sorry about the loss of your husband. May he rest in peace. 🙏🙏Thank you both so very much, this has been so very helpful. So many similarities and some very good advice. May y'all have a beautiful and blessed day! 🙏🙏😊😊
Awesome ❤
Thanks so much....so much new and positive info.
Thank you so much for sharing her story. Really gave me hope that there can be better days ahead with the right approach. Sometimes it's hard to remember that
Thank you - and it took me some time to appreciate and understand why it was going better and how to keep heading on that path❤ if a control freak like me can do it, you can do it!
I was a total control freak, every thing was my way or the wrong way. But I gave up control to just enjoy the moments and if not dangerous, then who cares. Some things are even quite funny to husband and I so we laugh and move on.
What an encouragement! My eyes were opened! ❤ Thank you!
Thank you! The interview made me feel happy ❤
Very Amazing and Beautiful Story xxx
What a wonderful way of expressing your experience!!
Great video
Thank you ❤ for sharing
OMG - this was amazing
Fantastic video!
I feel a new hope. Thank you.
What a helpful video!! I so appreciate what Mary shared and how you continually support us, Dr Natalie.
Yes yes yes what you give you get back!
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom❤
« i knew how to be, who to be with him »
The great news is that We can learn this🪷
Thank you Dr Natali
Thank you Mary
🌷🦋💕💕
An AMAZING video. thank you, Dr.Natali and Mary! So glad I have gone back to watch these.....
Yes, this is a must watch...❤
Thank >U Dr.Natali and Mrs.Mary!!!❤
Thanks for sharing ❤. I always come away learning something new.
So glad to hear that!
Mary so sorry for your loss!!
Thank you Michelle ❤
Thanks Mary, for sharing your life. Sorry for your loss. I’m having to forgive my husband of 44 ys for financial problems he got us in. Led me to get him diagnosed with behavioral frontal lobe dementia. It’s been four ys, at least I’m taking full care of him. Trying to stay loving like you. Love your strategies. Terrified of what lies ahead. Don’t want to move , and he really doesn’t, but to much work he won’t help with. No support group here on Kauai. Thanks for the hope you bring. I can’t afford the class, but will check into free one. God bless the next chapter of your life. What a great wife! I used to be. Hope to be again after watching your interview!💖
You can do this! Throw out the old hurts and fall in love with your new guy. Hope you Find peace on Kauai❤
great story .... mahalo
Thank you so much for the hope and love in this video. I hope my mom and I can get there.
The initial emotion experienced by individuals with dementia is often shame, particularly when the person is under the age of 65. They may feel the need to keep it a secret, even from family members.
I really really disagree with stay away for two weeks. As someone who worked with dementia residents for many years in a care role , this makes no sense .
They’re confused, in a strange place with strangers and you’ve left them for a long period of time ?
They might reset every ten minutes but the emotions continue through .
❤
Afraid because we can’t afford hospice care. How do I handle that.
Hi Doc. Hope you are currently stil notice the comments here.
I need help, pls.
Mom is in care centre for 2 months now.
She thinks she is in hospital for no reason as there is nothing wrong with here in her opinion amd insists to go home. Phones me 5 to 10 times daily.
Longs to be home. So sad!!!
She always had sharp brain. But now with dimentia.
How do I handle her being so emotional. Please?
Anybody go thru the phase of not really getting it thru your own head that he actually cannot do things that you think he can. Or doesn’t even try simple chores that could help you?
Wow the PRIDE! I can do it… thats the stupidest thing I consistently fake. Thank you
What is the Care Course? How can we take it?
Hi there, thanks for reaching out. You can learn more about the Care Course and sign up by clicking here: www.dementiacareclass.com/friends
Dint like the glee in the video
OMG, have you heard about pre-dementia?
*I really need to know how did she manage her 90 yo husband's incontinence.*
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Ah yes, incontinence! He only had this during a few periods over the years - mainly after surgery or on antibiotics. So, the essentials- I walk him to bathroom breaks every couple hours ( “ oh here’s the bathroom. You go first. I’m next”) ; 27:28 27:28 at night bedside urinal which i help him use if he can’t get up, ultrasorb pads for bed and chairs plus lightweight “chucks” for quick clean up/changes over sheets ( waterproof mattress cover under sheets), medcosa adult wash gloves & packs of cleansing cloths for quick wipes, a bedside absorbent mat In case he just can’t make it. I tried Depends but he wouldn’t have it - so regular boxers or commando were easier ( with the underpads). He was able to walk to the bathroom ( just needed help to find it) mostly until his last week. It’s just like caring for a toddler- only heavier. Takes 5 minutes And they forget the whole event 3 minutes later😅
If you can get your loved one to wear Depends or adult diapers great, just check and change them every few hours to stay dry & clean so no infections or rash:-) 27:28
Not there yet with my husband but took photo of your note for when we get there. Thank you.