항상 키워도 되나라는 고민이 몇년 째... 책임감이 생기면 내가 옳다고 생각하는 말도 행동도 못하는 인생이 될까. 깊은 생각. 그래서 솔로를 선택 했음에도 반려동물을 생각도 주저. 중년에 들어 섬에도... 아직도 선택장애. 그래도 책임은 아직도 무겁다는 걸 생각하며 ... 인내.
Oink Oink.. I can't believe that YOU are gone.. You told me that YOU will be back.. I have found a Note and it was placed by the front door.. I came home late and I saw the Note before I came in.. I read the note telling me that YOU are leaving some where and telling me you wanted time and space.. and taking a trip where I can't find YOU.. I would be waiting for YOU.. but will you come soon.. because YOU have not tell me when YOU will be back.. I would open the Back door and I would be standing at the back yard.. I would be looking at the table.. I would turn back.. we both would sit here at the Back yard.. pulling out the cold Beer.. and I would give YOU one.. after I would pop the Can open.. I just loved your Smile.. whenever I would stare and look into your eyes.. I would see YOU smile.. I would stand here all alone.. I turn to look at the table.. you would sit.. and I would stand.. You would be asking me if I had the cold Beer and of course.. I would go into the house.. grabbing the two cold cans and I bring it out to the back yard.. I would see you smile as I give you the cold can of beer.. I would be asking you about your days of work.. You would tell me that YOU love to work.. Of course I would share and tell you that I do also love to work.. always busy at work.. running all day through the night and seems like I am never tired.. when I come home and YOU call me on the Phone.. YOU would ask me if YOU can come over.. and as I am standing here by myself.. I am missing YOU.. I keep on looking over.. looking at the table.. I would watch you take a sip of the Can of cold Beer.. Now I don't see YOU.. after reading the Note that YOU went on a far away trip.. I wonder why did YOU not invited me.. YOU know that I would love to go with YOU.. joining you some where far and some where fun.. I just love watching YOU smile.. but at this Point of the Night.. I don't see you smile.. it hurts Me deep inside that YOU are not here this very night.. you would always call me on this day and asking me if YOU can come over.. if I had the Can of Cold Beer.. I would keep on looking at this table.. just remembering your presence which Now I miss you the Most.. WHY do I keep on missing YOU.. what did you do to my Heart.. is it the Cold Beer.. Is it when I pop the Can Open giving you the Can of the Cold Beer.. is it when YOU asked me.. if YOU can drink the Cold can of Beer.. or before YOU come over.. it can be your call on the phone.. I be looking at the Phone.. it remains silent.. there is NO text messaging on the Other side.. I don't hear any ringing on the Phone.. but I would look at this table.. and I turn to look at the Phone.. which I don't hear any noise.. as I turn too look Up the sky.. I have the cold can of beer with me.. being alone.. and standing here alone.. I would press the Button on the Phone.. I would see your Picture in the screen of the Phone.. It is when YOU sat by this Table.. and the first picture if you holding the Can of cold beer with a big smile.. my finger slides and it flips.. the Next Picture is YOU just sitting with a smile.. and I would look at it.. I would be looking at YOU.. and I would walk back.. and I would ask.. can YOU please look at me and I do remember you sitting there and YOU turn to look.. and I would show YOU.. look at this Phone for me please.. can YOU please smile for me.. I want a picture of YOU please.. can I take a picture of YOU and add it on the Phone Please and YOU would put the Can of the Cold Beer on the table and YOU would smile and I am trying to get the right angle and I would focus on your Beautiful face and I would say.. YOU are so Pretty.. do YOU know that YOU are the Most Prettiest when YOU smile the Most.. can I take the Picture of YOU and I click and the Phone takes the picture and I would walk and show you the Picture of YOU on the Phone screen and YOU would look at the Picture.. I guess YOU did not like this One.. and I do remember you picking UP the Can of the Cold Beer and asking for another picture.. I would walk back.. looking at the Phone screen.. I would ask YOU to smile once More and I see you smile.. and press to click on the Phone.. I would walk closer to you and show you the Other Picture of YOU on the Phone screen.. and YOU would look at it.. and this time gave me a big smile.. that YOU like it and I look at you.. I like it too.. Not just like it but I love it.. I love when YOU smile.. please smile More for me.. because it tickles my Heart when I see you smile.. makes me smile too from the inside out.. as I am looking at the Picture.. my finger slides for the screen to turn.. I am missing YOU.. because I know that when YOU are here.. YOU.. make me smile.. I feel more alive when YOU are so close to Me.. that I can feel you breathe and can hear your Heart beat.. I just need YOU.. I just need to feel you close to me.. why did YOU have to go on this long trip.. when are YOU coming back to the state so that I can see you again.. as I am looking on the Phone.. I hear the phone ringing.. and I just can't believe it.. it is YOU who is calling me.. is it really YOU calling.. I see your Name and the Number.. and I would answer the Phone.. and I can hear your voice on the Other side.. and I would smile and I would say to YOU on the Phone.. guess what I am doing right Now.. and of course YOU knows me.. and I would say.. YOU are right.. BINGO.. I am standing out in the back yard.. I have in my hand Your favorite cold can of Beer.. I am standing by the table.. and I would turn too look at where YOU sat and just started to miss YOU.. and I would be looking on the Phone.. looking at the screen and into the two pictures I have taken of YOU.. started to look.. I wanted to smile but How.. YOU are not even here so I started to miss YOU more and more as I would start to sip more on this Cold can of Beer.. I just keep on missing YOU.. I was waiting for YOU to call me because I did not want to disturb YOU on this far trip.. I am looking at the Moon.. YOU know that it is Night here so standing out here alone.. I miss you more.. we would both out here in the back yard.. do YOU remember that I would point UP to the sky.. telling YOU that there is The MOON.. I would say.. this Moon knows that I love YOU.. this Moon tells me that One night.. to bring YOU here so that this MOON can see who I be talking about.. I know that YOU do not show UP often because YOU are so busy at work.. I would stand here out in the back yard like this Very Night.. and I would turn to LOOK at the sky.. and when the MOON appears before me.. I would walk up to show myself before the MOON and I would tell the Moon.. I have been thinking about YOU for a long time.. YOU have been going across my mind for a while now.. But for some reason I just could not tell YOU face to face because I don't want to ruin the friendship we built together for a long time.. and I remember looking at this MOON.. I would tell the MOON.. I don't want to tell YOU anything because what if it goes wrong.. what if YOU do not accept my Heart.. and would reject my Heart and YOU would tell me that YOU did not feel comfortable around me any more.. if I hear those words out of your lips.. you know that I be getting a Heart attack.. I might even feel like I should of never told you in the first place if it is going to ruin our friendship.. and I would be coming to the back yard.. looking UP to the MOON.. and I would say.. what If it does Not work out.. what if YOU don't accept my Heart.. if YOU tell me Not to Love YOU.. then what is going to happen of all these years.. Of me trying to build this friendship.. I don't want it to go down as a waste or the drain.. I just wanted to tell you that I love YOU more than just friends.. I remember I told the MOON the Night before YOU came to this House.. I am going to show the MOON who you are by letting YOU come to the back Yard of this house.. YOU called me that night and I invited YOU.. YOU followed me to the back yard and I brought the Cold can of beer.. YOU sat down by the table.. and I would show YOU.. I wanted to show you something.. YOU have never met before and I would look at you.. can YOU Please look up.. look to that sky and something is waiting for YOU.. I remember you got up from sitting and came with Me.. and I would lead you and we both stopped and my finger pointed.. and the MOON was standing High above and I would tell you.. LOOK at that Moon.. do you see the Moon I am pointing at and YOU would tell me YOU see that MOON.. and I would say.. for a long time.. I would come to the back of this yard.. and many times my words cannot come out to YOU.. because what if YOU do not want to listen and to accept the words I say to YOU.. so I would be standing out here alone.. I would open my Heart and I would speak to that Moon.. that My words just can't come out.. because I don't want to lose YOU.. I don't want to lose anything from YOU.. even just you being here means everything to me.. your presences.. your smile.. hearing your voice.. asking me for the Can of cold Beer.. just your friendship that I love the Most.. but My Heart wants More.. I want more than just your presence.. I want more than your friendship.. I want YOU.. I need YOU.. I want to love YOU and I need YOU to tell me that I can love YOU more.. and I would tell that MOON.. what am I suppose to do when I feel this way.. the More I see YOU the More I want.. the want becomes a need which it comes from my Heart.. and My Heart wants to love YOU.. More and More I want to love YOU and tell these words of mine to YOU.. I been keeping it inside for a long time because losing YOU would crush my world.. without YOU.. I know I just can't go on..
MAH MAH.. if I lose YOU.. it means we were never meant to Be.. but if I am able to love YOU.. it is something new can start.. something that I wanted for a long time.. I have the courage to tell YOU this because I know that I love YOU.. I would stand next to YOU as I would tell you these words and YOU would look at me.. and turn to look UP to that Moon.. that Moon has heard my plea of cries because NO ONE wants to be rejected.. No one wants to lose someone you love.. NO ONE wants to be strangers when we are now friends.. but I want more than friends.. I want more than friendship.. I just want YOU so that I can start loving YOU more and more.. over and over I can keep on loving YOU because I know that deep in my heart I love YOU.. I am standing Next to YOU.. Looking at another Bed of Flowers.. Next to the Tree.. I see you standing next to Me.. One of my Friends pulling on the Rope of the Horse and stops behind Me.. and I turn to look back.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. Where can I go with YOU.. If I asked you to stay with me.. Where can I take YOU.. there is Not many places I know that I can take YOU.. but MAH MAH.. YOU are the One who can go to many Places.. YOU are a part of the Kingdom.. which YOU are the Princess of the Nation.. who is to become the Next Ruler.. I know that YOU have a Voice.. strong voice to take control and also can unite the World.. and there are so many People who will follow YOU and will support on joining with YOU.. I know that I can't really give YOU much.. and has decided to Let You Go for Now.. I have something I must do but I know that I will always Love YOU.. I know that your father.. the King.. PEH HA is waiting for YOU.. if YOU don't go now.. and I see you turn Your Head but seems like YOU just don't want to go.. I am so confused.. YOU have brought me here.. and I have followed YOU here.. but here.. what am I suppose to Do.. I am only showing YOU the History of the dead People who once was alive.. but Now.. this is the Only their grave.. but why do YOU want to come and see both of the Parents of mine.. and YOU are asking me to stay here with YOU.. but.. I know YOU have a Bigger Plan.. YOU are suppose to rule for the Next.. I know your Father wants YOU to take control.. I am only a Palace Guard who just can't do much.. YOU are asking me where did My spirit Go.. YOU are asking me where did ALL that Heart go when I was in Prison.. all the Words I was telling YOU.. all the Pains and Passions of just telling YOU how much I love YOU.. YOU are asking me where is all the Inspiration of loving YOU went.. it has Not gone anywhere.. I still have it in my Heart.. I do love you then.. and I still love YOU now.. it is just the situation where I am standing on this ground.. So you are asking me to GO fight against the WILL of your Father.. WHO is the King of the Nation.. I am Not going to fight against Your Father.. because He is the One who is going to be the ONE to give YOU His Crown and He is the One WHO loves YOU more than Me.. Your Father loves YOU More.. that is why He is wanting you to RULE.. But when YOU are ruling.. I know that I am Not allowed to step In.. because I am Only a Palace Guard.. that is why I know that I can only love YOU from the Distance.. I believe MAH MAH.. YOU have Big Dreams.. YOU have Big Plans and Goals.. I want to see YOU accomplish and establish what is YOURS.. because of Me I don't want you to stop Dreaming.. I want you to Keep on pursuing BIGGER and Greater things even it means to Lose Me.. If I cannot be with YOU.. I know because YOU are such a Greater Woman.. YOU have things Much Bigger things to do then I.. that does Not means I will Not stop loving YOU.. I will love you even when YOU stand afar.. I will love you when YOU see the MOON UP in the sky and the Stars are next to it.. I will love you even when YOU don't see me near.. I will love YOU because I know that I believe in loving YOU is the greatest feeling.. just because Your Presence is Not here.. I know I still can tell YOU I love YOU because Love can truly reach and meet YOU on the Other side.. LOOK at how this all came about.. SO you are afraid that just because I am Not with YOU.. the distance will drift us apart.. if YOU don't see me.. If I am Not around any more.. YOU feel like YOU can't receive My Love.. and ON the back I pulled Out the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing.. the Picture of YOU.. DO you see How the pieces were torn.. It was when I was very Young and I see you turn to look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. This is when I was very young.. I told YOU.. My Father brought this to me when I was a Young Boy and showed me this Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. when I saw it.. I just could not get YOU off my Mind.. this Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. it may seems like it is Nothing to YOU.. but for Me.. it means everything.. I held it.. I would look at It.. I would even Kiss this Picture of YOU.. I would say.. I am going to meet MAH MAH one day.. I am going to Meet CONG JU NIM one day.. I would sit in the room alone.. I would be holding this Art Sketch Paper.. paste on the wall.. and just LOOK at your Picture.. I would say.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. How are YOU today.. can I please smile for YOU because I am having a Bad day.. I wonder How it would feel to see YOU and meet YOU face to face.. would I be still sad.. It was my Mother's Birthday but she is NO Longer with me today and I be looking at your Picture.. telling YOU.. I want to see YOU.. when Can I meet YOU MAH MAH.. Please tell me that I can come to YOU.. Please tell me that I will be okay.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. and I would be sitting in the room.. just day dreaming of one day meeting YOU.. and when I think of the past time.. I felt very sad and lonely most of the days just longing for YOU.. just wanting to Meet YOU.. I do remember asking my Father when he came home.. Can I go with HIM to meet YOU.. I would ask him and Beg Him please.. Can you please take me with YOU.. I want to see MAH MAH.. I want to meet CONG JU NIM.. it is Not fair that YOU get to see her but Not me.. Of course.. My father would not want to take me because He knew How I would act.. I was so in love with the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I was so in love with YOU even before ever knowing YOU.. before even meeting YOU.. I told my Father I have big dreams too.. and He would ask.. what kind of dreams I had and I would say.. I want to marry the Princess.. I want to marry CONG JU NIM.. I want to marry MAH MAH and my father looks at me and laughs.. telling me I have a Big Heart but can Die for it and I would say Yes.. sometimes YOU needs to die for something to Have it.. I will die for it.. and My Father smiles but also says.. it is wrong.. and Now.. I see you standing next to me.. and YOU are wondering why am I pushing YOU away after all these years of struggling to be with YOU.. why do I want YOU to go or am I the one who is letting YOU go.. I am Not letting YOU GO.. I want to be with YOU for the rest of our lives but I know that YOU have big Dreams.. and I know you needs to accomplish Your Big Dreams first.. I am letting YOU go because I love YOU.. I want too see YOU fulfill Your Dreams.. I know that YOU want to succeed Your Father.. I know that YOU want to rule.. I know that YOU want to be the Next to take over and to rule for the Nation.. I know that YOU are born to RULE like your Father who is ruling.. that is why I know that I needs to step back to take my place as YOU are to take Your Place as for the One to succeed it.. Your Father is calling YOU for YOU to rule.. I received the Message.. and I would turn to look back.. My Friend falls on the fours.. and I turn to LOOK at YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. my friend who has come long ways with me.. He is going to take YOU back to the Palace with YOUR Horse.. will YOU please sit ON your Horse.. I see that YOU are pulling away.. I would hold your hand.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I want YOU to go so that YOU can take Your Place.. they are asking YOU to come to the Palace.. as I would watch YOU step on the back of my Friend and I see YOU sit on the Horse.. My friend stands UP and He grabs the Rope.. and I see Him turning away.. My Heart.. I just can't believe it is My Heart.. I can't breathe.. It is so Hard to breathe as I am watching YOU sitting on the Horse.. My friend is leading as He is pulling on the Rope of the Horse going down the Hill slowly.. as I am watching YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. the Horse and YOU riding on the Horse becomes smaller.. I would watch Your Head turning to look back at Me.. and I see My Friend leaving as all three leaves out of the sight.. But My Heart.. what is wrong with My Heart.. why is My Heart hurting for.. I know that I have made a choice.. a decision to Let YOU go for Your Best.. but WHY is My Heart hurting me so Bad.. and My hand presses on my chest.. it is so Hard to breathe again.. I fall onto my knees.. I just don't want to get UP any more because this is Hurting me so Bad.. I would turn my Head UP towards the Moon.. I feel like I want to cry.. I just want to let all my tears out of Me.. because it hurts me so Bad.. My Heart feels like it is breaking.. Breaking and It hurts as it keeps on breaking inside of me.. as I would let my tears go.. and it rolls out from my eyes and I turn to LOOK up at the Moon and I would speak to the MOON.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I am not letting you go because I know that I can't.. LOOK at me right Now.. How can I ever let YOU GO but I know that there is a TIME and its Place.. and where YOU
MAH MAH.. are suppose to take Your Place.. what am I suppose to do if YOU are going to the right Place.. Only thing I want to do is the right thing.. I don't want to be the one to do the wrong.. I want to Obey what is given by the Order so that YOU can take Your Place.. the Place where YOU truly belong.. I want to be with YOU.. DO you know how it feels on my part to be close to YOU.. when I stand next to YOU.. I get goose bumps running through my Body.. my Heart just can't stop beating.. I can hear my own Heart bear faster as I stand next to YOU.. just to turn and to face YOU and even to be able to tell YOU this Heart of mine is so amazing.. it is the most uplifting feeling to able to tell YOU How my Heart.. truly feels deep down inside.. I am a Low Born.. a Father who is the Head of the servants.. I was born from that Family Line.. what can I truly do when YOU are the Princess.. CONG JU NIM of the Nation.. the Next in line to rule for the Country whom I love and whom I serve.. but to able to tell YOU and express.. even to say to YOU that YOU are so Beautiful.. that YOU are all my Love.. even to tell you that is just enough on my Part.. I just can't be greedy to want More.. of course My Heart and My Mind wants More and More of YOU.. I want everything of YOU.. I want to love YOU.. I want to marry YOU and I want to be the One who to love YOU.. but the truth is that I know I have my own place.. and I know that YOU have your own place.. that is what Hurts me the Most because I wish that I can have the same place as YOU.. but I guess we are from different family lines.. it does Not means I will stop loving YOU.. I will keep on loving YOU.. but it will feel a little different because I will love YOU in a way YOU are to guess.. as I am my two knees.. Looking UP toward the Moon.. behind me.. YOU are sitting on the Horse.. my Friend did Not leave all the way but stopped to ask me something.. He pauses while I am looking at the MOON.. telling the MOON about YOU MAH MAH.. speaking from my Heart to tell the MOON HOW I am feeling right Now.. MAH MAH.. Please.. in my Heart I don't want YOU to go but I know that YOU Must go because YOUR place is waiting for YOU.. YOU have a Big Part of the Place.. the throne which is waiting for YOU.. but for Me.. I can only look at this Moon and tell the MOON how much I love YOU.. I am taking you to the Garden.. I want to show YOU something.. and I am walking.. my hand on the Strings of the Horse.. and YOU are sitting on the Top of the Horse.. with Your White Dress.. as I am walking.. hand grabbing unto the strings and the Horse is walking next to me.. I see the Garden.. and Closer and closer we are getting.. I would turn my Head looking UP toward YOU.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. YOU know that YOU did not have to do this.. YOU are in the Royal Blood Line.. and I am a son of a servant.. but why do you want to go with me here.. you know that I am a low Born.. from the lowest clan.. but tell me Why.. all you need to say is one word and I can just die in the streets.. and No one would know my Name.. would ever recognize me.. but why do you want me to take YOU back to this Garden.. and I would turn my Head looking straight and I went into the Garden.. hand grabbing unto the strings of the Horse.. I don't hear any words from YOU.. as YOU are sitting.. with a Crown on top of Your Head.. with the most beautiful white Dress.. My eyes.. which I just can't keep it still.. My eyes just kept on looking at YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful.. MAH MAH.. My Princess.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. why are you asking me to take YOU back to this Garden.. I told you that my Heart left this Garden long ago.. the day I left was when I saw YOU with another MAN.. the royal Prince.. it hurts me when I come back to this Garden.. it hurts me of the bad memories I had when My Heart would torn into pieces.. knowing that I am so little.. I am so lost.. I was so confused.. even though I knew that I could never be with YOU.. but still.. my Heart was torn when I saw YOU standing with the Royal Prince.. How small and little I felt when I saw YOU holding his Hand.. I would stop.. the Horse stops.. and I am looking at the Bed of flowers.. and I am not sure why you wanted to come to this Flower.. as I would stand next to YOU.. two guards also came.. and they would help YOU to get Out of the Horse.. and I am looking at the Bed of Flowers.. and this is where my Father is buried.. of course YOU don't know it.. but I have taken you to his Grave.. as YOU were standing next to me.. and I wanted to tell YOU something.. which I had Not before.. and I turn my Head on the side to look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. do YOU know what this Is.. and I would look at YOU.. turning your head to look at me.. and I would turn my Head to look at the bed of Flowers.. I know that YOU wanted to come to the Garden but before we can go further down.. I wanted to stop by my Father's grave.. this is where My Father is buried.. When he died.. I did not know where to put His Body.. but I wanted his Grave to be close where I am able to find and to go.. my Father may not be here.. but I know his spirit is with me.. I wanted to remember my Father.. and wanted to be close to HIM.. so I remember this would be the best place to bury his Body.. so with the grave diggers.. I would be standing here.. crying as my Father's body would be laid to rest.. I remember I would be crying for him.. days after days would go by.. I still could Not believe that My Father would be gone.. and I wanted to show YOU.. this is my Father's Grave.. when times are rough.. when times are tough.. and I feel like pouring out my tears.. I would come to my Father's grave.. I remember when I would be sad.. when I be hurt.. He would be next to me.. I would be crying as he would tell me all things be okay in the end.. Now MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I know that YOU may not remember my Father.. He was close to you Once.. and yes.. he was your servant.. the King.. PEH HA would put my father in charge to look after YOU.. I am not sure if YOU ever remember my Father.. of course something happened that my father went into the prison.. and he was sentence to death.. I saw HIM in the prison bars.. a carriage with bars.. and he told me.. never to Love YOU.. Never to love the Princess.. and I saw the carriage with bars leave off.. that was the last thing.. I think YOU were young back then.. because I was Young too when he died.. MAH MAH.. do you remember the Man who was your servant.. and I see YOU turn your head to look at me.. I see your head moving Up and down.. means YOU do remember my Father.. I think he told me YOU were so bright.. very bold and courageous.. Loves to shoot bows and arrows.. told me that YOU love riding Horses and loves to Hunt wild games.. has never seen any one like YOU before.. that My father believes if YOU were a Prince.. YOU be a Mighty warrior Prince is what he told me.. but YOU are a Princess instead.. I don't know why and I don't know how this happened to me.. why would I love a Mighty Warrior Princess.. my father told me before He was going to prison.. Never Love the Princess.. Because something Horrible can happen to me in the end.. and Now.. I have brought YOU to the Man.. the one who use to serve YOU as a servant.. this is my Father's Grave.. this is the bed of Flowers I was talking to YOU about for a long time.. and now you were wondering how come I am telling YOU this HUH.. MAH MAH.. I know its be long years since then.. and many years has passed by.. there was No chance where I was able to tell YOU.. everything happened so fast.. I know that I should of never met YOU.. then I am sure I would never fall in love.. but what good is all that talk about the past when I am here in the present with YOU.. I told YOU that I am Not afraid to Die.. if I die because of loving YOU is a sin.. then Please.. Kill me for my Sin.. but I did not mean to love YOU this Long.. I did not mean to love YOU.. it just happened out of nowhere.. I remember it was the day my Father came from work.. serving YOU.. and He brought a Picture.. he brought the Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. he told me when he came Home late into the night.. I was Not sleeping.. and showed me the Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. My father was smiling when He gave me the Picture.. the sketch paper.. telling me an Artist drew this Picture of CONG JU NIM.. I would be asking How YOU.. MAH MAH was like.. I was very curious because my Father who served YOU would always be smiling.. and He was very happy to be there as Your Servant.. of course.. I took the Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU into my hands and I looked.. when my eyes first saw this Picture.. I would feel something was wrong with my Heart.. it would burn and kept on burning with me.. I would place my hand on the chest.. I don't know but something is wrong with me.. what is happening to My Heart.. it burns like fire within me.. and my Father would stand there and He looks.. He told me it should not be.. that this is Wrong.. and I would be looking at the Picture of YOU.. the Art sketch paper.. My Father looks.. and he grabs the Sketch Paper and snatches off my Hands.. and He turns and walks off.. I remember I started to cry.. crying loud and loud.. asking for the Sketch Art Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I want to see the Picture.. I want to see YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. I want to see YOU.. I would be looking for it.. my father would tell me Not to love YOU.. I just can't.. I should Not.. because If the King knows that I do.. even he can die because of
MAH MAH.. Me.. if the words get out.. and someone finds Out.. I can be executed with my Father and he tells me never to Love YOU.. I remember my father was sleeping in his room.. and I came into my father's room.. I see the Art Sketch paper laying next to HIM.. I went over and I grabbed the Art sketch paper.. walking into my room.. I would unfold and find myself looking at the Picture of YOU.. my hand goes across the paper.. and I just wanted to see YOU.. I wanted to see MAH MAH.. can I ever see CONG JU MAH MAH.. would I get the chance to see YOU.. and I would sit by myself.. looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. my Hands.. my arms.. putting the Picture of YOU.. the Art sketch Paper to my chest.. I want to see YOU but I want to love YOU.. I saw my Father looking at me.. he stands in the room.. He sees my arms.. the Art sketch paper.. the picture of YOU close to my Chest.. close to my Heart and I turn too look up.. I want to see CONG JU NIM.. CAN I SEE MAH MAH.. Father.. can I please see how CONG JU NIM is like.. Please Father.. and He gets very angry at me and grabs.. snatches it off.. take the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture and tears it into the pieces and tosses it out side.. and He walks off the house.. and I would look out side.. I see the Art sketch paper torn into pieces.. and I would cry.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and I would go out and sit.. picking UP the pieces toward.. trying to find each torn pieces of papers.. and the light rain would not help me at all.. as it became soak and wet over the rain fall.. I would try to put the pieces together but the rain and I would sit in the rain crying.. crying for YOU.. wanting to see the Picture of YOU and It torn my heart into pieces.. As I am now with YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. it was such a long ago when I first saw your Picture.. I wanted to glue it back.. some way and some how I wanted the Art sketch Paper.. I started to miss looking at you through the Picture.. asking My Father.. begging HIM to get an Artist to draw another picture.. from the Sketch paper.. I wanted to see MAH MAH.. I wanted to see the Princess.. I wanted to see CONG JU NIM.. my Father kept on telling me that If I keep on doing this.. I will die sooner.. if the Word breaks Out.. I can be executed and told me to forget you.. and as I am now looking at the bed of Flowers.. I am standing next to you and I would show YOU.. this is my Father's grave.. I wanted to bring YOU to this Bed of flowers because this is where My Father is buried.. it has been a long time since I visited him.. but I wanted to tell YOU this.. my Father wanted me Not to Love YOU.. told me that YOU were so dangerous to Me.. that my life has to be on the line if I cross this Line and yes.. I have crossed the line for a long time.. but the Word never got out until now.. I have been loving YOU the day I saw Your Picture.. I have never met YOU in my life but knew that one day something has to happened.. I wanted to tell my Father.. I am at his grave with YOU next to Me.. of course he is right because I am on the verge of facing my own death.. but I want to tell my Father.. I will go down with HIM.. and I turn to you.. MAH MAH.. I loved YOU then.. I loved you when I never met YOU.. I started to love you when I met YOU the first time.. I love you much more because I still have life in me.. if I am given me a new day.. I am so thankful that this day is made so that I can love YOU MORE.. Now.. I am able to show you my Father's grave.. I was warned and been warned for a long time.. not to cross the line.. Not to love YOU.. but My Heart.. I just could not let YOU go MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I guess I wanted to tell YOU.. whatever happens to me in the future.. at least YOU get to see my Father's grave.. in the bed of flowers where he is buried.. I am Not sure if this was the main reason why you wanted to come to this Garden.. is it too meet my Father's grave.. because this is where My Father was buried.. after he died.. His Body.. his Bones are here now.. as long as I still have life in me for a day.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. PRINCESS.. I will always love YOU.. even then.. even now and forever I will love YOU.. I am Looking at YOU.. You with the White Dress.. and I just can't believe it is YOU.. MAH MAH.. It is My Princess.. NEH CONG JU NIM.. Still can't believe that I am standing next to YOU.. Never imagine that I be able to share my Heart to YOU.. Always felt Like I am a Shadow.. just Distance and Miles apart.. Separated from YOU.. How is it that I am able to share my Heart.. Share this Heart of Mine.. How is it possible that I am able to tell YOU.. How much I love YOU.. I remember.. this Place.. BY this Tree.. only thing that I can do was to Look across.. and Only I can be dreaming.. Wishing upon the Stars.. I would watch over.. Looking at the Sky.. Looking at the Night.. Looking at the Moon.. and just be wishing.. Only It may happen.. but.. I would only put my Hand on this Chest.. and Only can be thinking.. dreaming.. even though I may be dreaming.. will it ever come true.. Is it possible that I am able to express my Heart and share my Heart direct to YOU.. How can it be.. As I am standing By YOU.. I turn to face YOU.. Looking at YOU.. Can YOU feel what I feel.. Can YOU Hear my Heart beating for YOU.. YOU are so Near to Me.. How can this be True.. and I put my hand on my Chest.. DO you see My hand.. it is touching my Chest.. but Inside is My Heart.. touching my Heart because My Heart is beating only for YOU.. Because I love YOU.. I just can't take my eyes off of YOU.. As I look Up.. I see the Sun.. and I pull the Sword Off the sheath and I show you the Blade of the Sword.. and I turn to YOU and I show you the Sword I am holding.. For a Long Time.. I dreamed of Holding a Sword.. I dreamed of holding this Sword to Protect YOU.. to protect the Nation.. the Palace.. to protect YOU CONG JU NIM.. I wanted to show YOU someday that I can be a Warrior.. that I can fight so that I can protect YOU.. to take Charge over to show YOU that I am also a MAN.. When I first saw YOU.. I do remember that I could Not even Hold a Sword.. only a Stick in my hand.. but what can a Stick do if a Person has a Sword.. I will die and I can't even protect myself.. I remember the first time I saw YOU.. I couldn't do anything.. holding a stick.. for what.. to do Nothing on my part.. I saw YOU riding on the Horse.. the White Horse and YOU blew my Mind.. I couldn't think straight.. I felt I was going crazy over YOU.. just fell on my knees.. because YOU are so Beautiful.. I remember I asked a person who I knew.. the Person said that Young Girl who is riding on that Horse.. She is the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH is what the person told Me.. and there is NO way YOU can even lift UP your eyes unless YOU wish to Die.. if YOU want to dig up your Own grave.. YOU can love but WILL die if the King.. or the Queen finds Out.. I remember I just could Not stop Looking at YOU.. YOU were wearing the same dress.. the White Dress on a White Horse.. going through the Fields.. fields of Flowers.. your hands would be holding.. grabbing unto the Flowers.. it was at this Same garden.. not Here at the hill top.. but at the Bottom below.. I was holding a Bucket of waters.. working and I saw YOU.. I remember the Bucket fell off my hands.. and I see YOU Off the White Horse.. walking across the field.. Your Smile.. the twinkles in your eyes sparked and felt like I saw a Shooting stars from your lovely Eyes.. and I would stand there.. the Bucket on the floor.. water across the ground.. My Heart would be pounding.. it be pounding with Beatings coming with it.. I felt like My Heart has been attacked.. Never felt this way in my Life.. I stood there.. wondering.. what just happened to My Heart.. another Boy who works with me comes and stands next to me.. and he looks at my eyes and turns to look.. and He could not believe.. I turn to look at the boy who worked with me.. he says.. that is MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. SHE is MAH MAH.. CONG JU MAH MAH NIM.. and I just couldn't believe it.. How does He knows but I don't know that.. I felt so Ashamed and I felt hurt for Not knowing but what was going to Happen to my Heart.. My Hand kept on touching my Chest.. I wanted my hand to stop.. but My Heart from the Inside kept on Beating and Pounding.. I felt I am going out of control.. HE looks at me.. He was another person who told me.. Not to think of YOU.. Don't even think about it because YOU will die.. YOU will be killed by Guards.. and yes.. I saw few Special Body Guards and Guards standing.. with Swords.. and they were watching over YOU.. and I started to Cry.. as the Boy who works with me left.. I can't believe it.. WHY.. WHY do I have to Love YOU.. I know that I am going to Die.. I know I will not live a Long time but WHY.. I asked myself.. I know it is IMPOSSIBLE to love someone who is the Princess.. But What can I do.. How can I stop if I already started to Love YOU.. I just couldn't believe it.. I be holding a stick in my hand.. and I lift to look at it.. I told myself.. Can I ever hold a sword.. what can I do with this Small stick.. Nothing I can do.. can't even protect my own self then How can I protect YOU My Princess.. as I watch YOU
MAH MAH.. come and go.. I remember YOU love flowers.. I started to gather some seeds.. and I would start to sow seeds and to start planting in the Garden.. I know that the Princess.. CONG JU NIM comes to this Garden from Time to Time.. So I want to at least give YOU a Flower.. I see One Flower.. it catches my eyes.. as it begin to produce and grow and Mature.. It was the SUN FLOWER.. I would look at this Flower.. I told that Flower.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM is going to show UP to this garden again.. SO I am going to prepare so that the Princess may have this Flower.. I want to give so that It speaks what is in my Heart.. there is Nothing that I can give to MAH MAH.. what can I give.. but I want to give this Flower showing it has a special Place in my Heart.. I remember YOU came.. brought an Army with YOU.. who stood BY to watch and guard YOU.. I remember I Heard the News that YOU came to the Garden.. Would walk through the field of Flowers.. and I ran.. I grabbed the SUN FLOWER.. and I saw YOU at the field.. and YOU turn to face me.. My Heart.. I am not sure why My Heart would act UP.. I can hear loud beatings coming from the Inside.. can Hear like someone is knocking at the door.. so Loud and Clear.. Holding the SUN FLOWER in my Hand.. I asked for Your Hand.. if I can give YOU this Flower.. will YOU take and accept this Flower.. I know there is nothing I can give.. what can I give.. I am a Lowly servant Boy.. I can't give YOU anything but please.. Just remember that THIS SUN FLOWER has a Special Place in my Heart.. I was gathering some seeds.. a friend of Mine told me he had a SUN FLOWER SEED.. and gave it to me.. it be the Most Beautiful Flower in the Garden because of HOW it brings a True JOY OUT.. so I would smile as I planted and sowed with other seeds.. and MY FRIEND was right.. I feel in love because this Flower always reminds me of YOU.. Makes me Smile and stands Out of the crowd.. after I saw this Flower.. I just wanted to give and show YOU.. My Heart always felt this Happy when I saw YOU.. when No one else was around or came.. the Smile YOU GAVE ME.. the Love that is IN MY HEART started because YOU are More Beautiful than this SUN FLOWER.. and wanted to say.. How much I love YOU.. will you please take It.. will YOU please receive this Flower.. I saw YOU open YOUR HAND.. and YOU took it from My hand.. I never felt so Happy in my life.. I would be crying because I was so happy.. as I saw YOU leave.. My Heart be beating as I watch YOU.. Holding unto the Sun Flower.. Ever since that day.. I needed a Picture of YOU.. I wanted to keep on looking at YOU.. I did not want to lose my sight.. I did not want to stand here missing YOU.. but to keep on thinking of YOU and just loving YOU looking at your Picture.. I remember Standing on the Hill TOP.. I wanted YOU to come to this TOP of the HILL.. by this tree.. I wanted to ask YOU for a Favor.. if I can have a Picture of YOU.. YOU TOOK my breathe away that day.. WHEN I saw YOU walking UP the Hill TOP.. I felt like why are YOU doing this to Me.. a Part of me is saying.. I know YOU should not come.. it is wrong on my part.. but the Other side is telling me.. I love YOU.. does Not matter about my Life.. As long as YOU KNOW CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH How much I love YOU.. I am doing this to tell YOU.. this is my Heart.. it goes much More than this because I want YOUR FULL ATTENTION.. and yes.. I need Your Heart and I want Your Love as much as I want to give YOU everything that I have.. as I saw YOU walking UP the Hill top.. I am standing there.. CAN THIS BE TRUE.. and YOU asked me why I send a Word.. but YOU came.. it is MAH MAH.. it is CONG JU NIM.. the Princess.. WHY would YOU even come.. WHY WOULD YOU show UP when YOU are at the Highest level.. why would YOU come to this Poor Boy.. this lowly Life servant.. WHY WOULD YOU even come here.. but I asked.. I have a favor for YOU.. and a Boy.. who is great artist.. who draws great sketch Paper.. Picture of YOU.. WHEN I saw YOU.. YOU had a BABY BLUE DRESS.. SO beautiful.. my eyes wanted to wander away because I did not want YOU to think I am a creep or think I be making YOU feel uncomfortable.. But I would watch YOU stand By the Tree.. with a Smile.. the Boy would sit.. started to draw on the sketch Paper.. and I.. Sent a Word to the Princess.. the Boy Looks UP and gives me a SMILE.. and tells me.. YOU are coming.. that CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH is coming.. and I just can't believe the Words I hear.. I feel this Tears.. and I would stand there with tears falling down My Eyes.. it has been a while.. it seems so much Longer.. Even though time goes by fast.. when YOU STAND here at the Hill TOP just waiting.. it feels a TIME goes so Slow.. and the Boy smiles.. and He turns and runs down the Hill top to the village.. I am wondering.. SO.. Where is the Princess COMING.. where is MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. where.. and I LOOK down.. I see.. I see YOU walking UP the Hill.. I am wondering is this a Joke.. Am I dreaming.. or is this Real.. I see YOU walking up and I can't believe it.. it is really YOU.. WHY did it take so Long.. I have been waiting.. waiting and waiting for a Long Time.. By this Tree.. do YOU SEE.. and I see YOU walk up to the TOP of the Hill and YOU stand there.. and I am wondering.. WHAT does this Means.. I am so excited that YOU CAME.. and Yes.. I look down.. My hand grabs the SUN FLOWER.. and I look at YOU.. WHY are you leaving this Flower Behind.. He has been waiting for YOU.. and each time you drop this Flower.. YOU are hurting HIM.. like How you hurt me.. YOU have been hurting my Heart because YOU just don't want to show UP.. Please tell me.. that YOU did come for me.. or is it for this Flower.. as I am looking at YOU.. The Boy comes too.. and I look at YOU.. can YOU DO me a Big favor.. Can YOU stand by this Tree.. and I would move aside and I see YOU coming underneath this Tree.. I look at YOU.. the Boy is Not just a Messenger.. But He draws.. He is an Artist with Ink and paper.. I wanted to ask YOU that I want a New Picture of YOU.. the Rain.. When the rain hit on me.. it also got to this Sketch Paper.. Now.. it is so hard to see Your Beautiful Face on this Sketch Paper.. I can't go On without Looking at YOU.. so I had to ask this Boy to send me a Word.. to Ask If YOU can COME CONG JU NIM.. Princess.. will YOU PLEASE do me a favor.. can this Boy draw a Sketch Paper.. Picture of YOU.. WHEN YOU stay far away.. and I be miles of distance away.. I don't want to forget Your Face.. I would be looking at the Inkless Sketch Paper.. barely see the Face.. the Rain had it almost ALL gone of the Ink.. Please stand by this Tree.. This Boy.. He is so good a drawing.. HE told me.. YOU are so Beautiful.. Like this Sun Flower.. YOU are the Most Beautiful Flower in the World.. I would show you the Sketch paper I am holding.. and YOU see that YOU can barely see Your Face and I see that YOU have agree to the my word.. I walk away from the Shade.. and The Boy sits down.. with Ink and Sketch.. a New Sketch Paper.. He dips and starts to draw.. I feel so emotional right Now.. as I am watching this Boy Draw.. and It looks Just Like YOU.. and my Heart.. YOU are hurting my Heart because YOU are so Beautiful.. take my breathe away as I am watching YOU stand by this Tree.. underneath the shades.. as the Boy smiles.. I want to cry.. because I love YOU.. do YOU want to see a Man cry.. YOU are so Adored and Loved.. Because I love YOU SO.. I love YOU so much CONG JU NIM.. I can stay all through the Night.. Looking at the stars.. and wishing on those stars.. for YOU TO SEE me count the stars.. and hoping that YOU can soon.. I have been waiting through the Nights too.. Maybe YOU would show UP in the night.. the Moon watching over YOU.. my Princess.. I would look at the stars.. my princess.. I would look at the Moon.. CONG JU NIM.. do YOU HEAR ME.. I am waiting by this Tree.. across I can see Your palace.. and I still wait until YOU COME.. and I would wait.. I watch the Boy finish the drawing with Ink.. and I am able to see the whole Picture.. The Boy is so talented and gifted.. as the Boy gets UP and He shows me.. and I grab it with both hands.. So Beautiful.. CONG JU NIM.. please come over and take a Look.. I see YOU smile and walk over.. and I show you the Picture of YOU.. Looks exactly Like YOU.. DO you see what I see.. it is YOU.. My Princess.. and as I watch you look at the Sketch Paper.. I want to Hold YOU.. I want to Hold YOU close and tell YOU.. I love YOU.. I don't want YOU TO GO.. but I know that SOON.. the SUN is going to go down.. and I see.. it is getting Late.. I just can't let YOU GO.. why must YOU GO.. I don't think this Sketch Paper.. this Picture of YOU is Not enough with me.. I can't let YOU go.. WHY go.. Please stay with me.. I
MY HEART.. DO you see that Beautiful Heart.. DO YOU see what I see.. DO YOU NOT want to touch that Heart.. I want to RUB MY FACE all over that Heart and BITE IT.. It look so GOOD.. SO Beautiful.. Now me Heart Looks UP.. LOOK At what I found.. YOU SEE YOU SEE.. and I just cannot believe it.. OH MOE.. is it really what I think it is.. IS it really really what it is.. ME two hands rubs over two eyes and stops.. OH MOE.. I Can't breathe no more.. CAN I touch YOU MY HEART and see the OR feel if the Heart beats fast.. I want to know.. let me know WHAT YOU feel My Heart.. OH GOSH NO NO.. is it really what I see.. My heart puts the Key Down.. I am smiling.. over joyed.. I cannot believe it.. I have been looking all over the Place.. BUT I JUST HOPE that this key Fits and Unlocks.. I turn to LOOK at Your Heart.. Just waiting.. Be patient with me.. I am going to go and Get YOU.. I am going to hold YOU IN my hands.. Hold YOUR HEART so close.. and I am going to tell YOUR HEART.. How much I been waiting for this Very Day.. that this very hour.. YOUR HEART is Mine for ever.. I am going to put my Lips and Kiss Your Heart.. ONE kiss.. smiles away.. TWO KISSES.. My lips cannot wait till I have Your Heart.. Hold Your Heart in both hands.. Wrap my arms around YOUR HEART.. put it close to my Chest.. LET MY HEART Move.. and show and share.. the sound of the Beating what Happens when I say I love YOU.. I cannot wait that I am able to tell and speak and whisper to Your Heart.. I love YOU.. I love you so Much that I missed YOU so much and Kiss Your heart.. I look at MY HEART.. I walk over.. I tell my heart.. YOU go UP on the top of this Glass Jar.. UNLOCK the Lock for me.. and I grab my heart both hands.. HE grabs the Key and I lift HIM UP to the TOP.. my both hands on the Glass JAR.. my face moves closer to the Glass.. Open my Mouth.. I just cannot wait to tell YOU I love you.. Once the Key Unlocks and Opens the door.. I am going to tell YOUR HEART.. I missed YOU so Much.. NOW I can tell Your Heart.. I love YOU.. that YOU are the world prettiest pretty.. The Most Lovely and SO beautiful.. that I get to put YOU CLOSE to MY HEART.. my Heart told me that HE wants to Love YOU.. wants to wrap HIS Arms around YOU and will take YOU around all over the Place.. YOU are such a Beauty.. the Most beautiful.. I want to hold YOU.. I want to hold YOU close.. SO that YOU can come close to me as well.. I know without Your heart.. YOU NEED your heart.. If you want Your heart come over here and Get it from Me.. If you don't.. I am going to Love Your Heart forever.. I will love YOU.. I Look up.. well.. I am not hearing anything UP there My Heart.. what is going ON up there.. Tell me.. Please Tell me.. I look at My Heart looking down.. The key fits but.. INK.. It does Not unlock.. Still.. it is Locked.. The Key cannot unlock it.. SO what do You want me to do.. I turn to LOOK straight.. How COME.. WHY does the key Unlock.. TELL ME.. I am looking at Your Heart.. WHY does not the Key Work.. TELL ME.. is this the wrong Key.. It must be because it just will lock UP there.. What am I suppose to DO now.. I was so Close to Your Heart but My Heart has found the wrong key.. I lift both hands off the Glass.. One finger Points and Touch the GLASS.. I want to scream.. I want to yell from the TOP of me Lungs.. where is the Key.. I want it.. Tell me.. How can I get to that heart because I want it.. I want your Heart right Now.. IF you only tell me where is that One key.. I am sure I can get it.. unlock it and grab YOUR HEART off this Glass jar.. I want it.. please.. oh moe Please tell me.. where are the Key.. I want it.. I want it now.. I want that Heart.. I want Your Heart heart.. so Please tell ME where are the Key.. I cannot believe it.. the wrong key.. OH moe Gosh.. I want it.. Give it to me.. give it to me.. I need Your Heart.. I want it right now.. I want it.. Your Heart.. My Two hands on the side of the Glass Jar.. I am trying to Move it around.. trying to Shake.. my Two hands are pushing.. hands trying to shake it around.. I need It.. I want it.. I got to have Your Heart.. if YOU can speak through Your Heart and tell me Where.. I want to Know.. me two legs jumps.. Up and down.. I want the key.. because I want it.. Give it to me.. so that I can tell Your Heart everything I feel.. tell YOU I love YOU.. I was so close.. Now I pull away.. I look Up.. My Heart.. Why don't you come Down.. MY Heart looks over.. I found another Key UP here.. I hear the CLICK and WEEE YEEEE.. MY Heart looks over.. I have Unlocked.. I am screaming and Jumping UP and Down.. I am jumping UP and Down I WANT YOUR HEART.. NOW.. My Heart comes back.. I have a Bad News.. there is Another Lock.. BOTH Keys do Not work on this Locked.. I stop jumping.. OH MOE.. I look straight.. WHAT Kind of Heart is this.. I want to Love YOU.. I want to tell YOUR HEART.. I love YOU.. why are you keep on doing this to Me.. WHY Hurt me in so much Pain.. WHY are you hurting MY HEART.. I am not a stranger.. I want to Be Your Lover.. I am sitting Down.. Me two hands touches the Glass Jar.. Me Heart is sitting next to me.. Looks at me.. I love the Heart.. Can YOU please be Mine and That these arms who is wrapping around YOU will NOT let you ever Go.. that YOU can be forever Mine.. Can I tell YOU.. HOW much I miss YOU and that I need YOU.. that NOW.. I am starting to Love YOU.. Can I tell Your Heart if I can come In.. that I can be a part.. that I can tell Your heart.. I love YOUR heart.. NOW.. I grab the Bottle.. Open me Mouth wide.. and CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG.. Place the bottle Down.. looking at your Picture.. WHY are you so Beautiful.. How come YOU have to be So beautiful that I feel this Missing and the aching.. WHY put such a Pain In my heart.. I feel like ME heart is bleeding.. Inside.. I feel like I want to Die.. If I die.. I may not feel this kind of Love and pain.. I start to feel one Drop.. two Drops.. and three drops.. Four drops.. Five.. I feel it coming down from the Two eyes of Mine.. The Arm wipes My tears in my eyes.. WHY do you make me Cry.. I want this Love.. I want Your Love.. I want this Love.. I can't stop loving YOU.. Asking and talking to your picture.. I know that Your Big Heart can hear me.. because I am not on the Other side of the world.. same park.. I am standing by the Tree.. which Your Big Heart is located but only the difference is I am on the ground.. Your Big Heart is sitting on the TOP.. the highest Branch of the tree.. I want Your Big Heart.. Help me how to get to Your Big Heart.. I been standing here.. waiting and waiting.. I been also in my room.. By the window.. LOOKING at the MOON.. and I would be asking that MOON.. some way some How give me a sign to Your Big Heart.. as I am standing by the Tree.. I am looking Up.. my arms opened wide.. I see the MOON when I turn around.. but I am facing the Tree instead.. My arms are opened for YOU.. can Your Big Heart see me.. even though I may be on the ground.. I am asking Your Big Heart.. my arms are open wide for YOU.. My arms is ready to catch Your Big Heart.. ready to fold IN and Hold your big Heart tight and I want to tell Your Big Heart.. How much I missed YOU.. I been missing Your Big Heart.. too tell Your Heart.. I want to listen to your Heart and to Love Your Heart.. can I please love Your Heart forever.. I needs to ask YOU.. can I please love Your Heart.. your Big Heart tonight.. as I turn away.. and I look up.. I see the Moon.. I would ask the Moon.. If the MOON is listening to my voice.. would you please tell me if an Angel are real.. if an Angel is real.. can YOU Please an Angel.. Tell the angel someone needs Your Help tonight.. I want to borrow two wings Please.. I need two wings.. just for tonight.. if I can borrow the two wings.. I will give it right back.. I need the two wings so that I can fly UP and I will sit next to Your Big Heart and all I want to tell Your Big Heart.. how much I love YOU.. that I never stopped loving YOU.. Not a minute goes by.. every day and every night I be thinking of YOU.. of How can I get close to Your Big Heart just to tell Your Heart.. loving YOU makes my Heart to come alive and to say.. thank YOU because I love YOU.. I am looking for something.. I look at the Glass Jar.. I have set in on the floor.. I been asking YOU that I need your Heart.. as I would wait.. there is no answer on the other side.. so I know that I must keep waiting.. as I am holding the Glass jar.. which it changes to a new place.. I was in the room.. but I decided to walk Out.. and I been looking back.. thinking back when I was at my Room.. sitting on the floor.. looking through the Glass jar.. which was empty.. Now I must walk off.. I am now sitting Out side.. sitting by the shore.. I just love the waters.. I would drive alone.. and come to this One spot.. where I am able to get Out of the Car.. and I am able to sit.. this One Lake.. and I would watch the waters.. so Peaceful and Nice out.. I would always bring a Bottle.. and with me is the Shot Glass next to the Bottle.. and I would sit still.. I would be looking at your Picture.. makes me think more of you when I am by the Lake.. of course I know that I am not going to find you near..
![잡채만들기, 온센텐동, 모래 전체갈이 [일상 브이로그/VLOG]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EWxFYLtGRXc/mqdefault.jpg)
![잡채만들기, 온센텐동, 모래 전체갈이 [일상 브이로그/VLOG]](/img/tr.png)
('오늘도보람' 채널 업로드영상 '보람씨야' 재업)
이 영상은 서브채널에 업로드 됐던 영상입니다!
저의 브이로그 채널인 '오늘도 보람' 채널이 '보람씨야' 채널로 이사합니다💚
냥이들한테 말하는 목소리톤이 넘 중독성 오짐..도로 아프지마~~
보람님 브이로그가 너무 좋아요
다운아 도로야 보람 누나랑 같이 있어줘서 고마워! 아프지말고 항상 건강해.
도로는 너무 잘먹어..ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
간식 빼먹는 속도가 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ 후다다다닥 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
7:41 언니 바질 좋아하시면 초이닷 바질페스토도 맛있숴요!!!😋
아프지마렴🐱🐱🐱
토닥토닥🐈🐈🐈
우리 냐옹이 아프지마셍녕
매일 보고 또 보며 이보람 즐기기..ㅎㅎㅎ 재밌음..
도로 건강 절대지켜!!!!!!
언니 넘 잘봣어용 ^ㅇ^
보람씨 유튜브 보면서 처음 글 남겨봅니다 항상 건강잃지마시고 쭉 좋은 모습만 보여주세요
매력이...
누나 브이로그 보면 편안해집니다 ㅎㅎ
축제에서 만나고 영상으로 만나니 또다른 반가움이 있네요 ^^ 냥이 간식 동원참치에서 스틱이 나온 것 아시죠 기존 외국어로 된 츄르보다 안심하고 먹일 수 있는 것 같아요~ 우리집 희망 사랑 냥이도 잘 먹더라구요 도로 다운이 건강하길 😽
고양이 너무 귀여워요❤
츄르에 진심이다냥 ~~~~😄😄😄😄😄
쫌이씀 눈발이 휘날리는 겨울이 오겠죠??
미리 눈구경 시켜줘서 감사해욤~~
올 겨울엔 눈이 적당히 내렸음...
그래야 람대장님 스케쥴 소화하기도 한결
수월할텐데...건강 챙기면서 활동하세용♡♡
브이로그마다 너무 잘 드시던데 치팅데이인건가요?🤭 맛있는거 잘 챙겨드시구 건강도 잘 챙겨주세요!!!
애완동물 기르는 입장이라 도로가 토했다니까 넘 맘이 아프네요ㅜ 지금은 건강하게 잘 다니고 있겠죠?ㅎㅎ 요새 보람님 소식을 자주 들을 수 없다는 게 넘 아쉽습니다.. 다음 일상로그 올라오면 바로 챙겨보도록 할께요! 오늘 하루 수고 하셨구 잘 때 좋은 꿈 꾸시길 바래요
참 다행이야.
우리 보람이 안녕!
보람찡 채널통합 열일중 😆
도로야 아프지마 ㅠ
팬입니다.
잘 지냈으면 좋겠다. 행복했으면 좋겠다.
이보람 (가야g) 신곡 결국엔 너에게 닿아서 많은관심 부탁드립니다 ❤️ 🙏 💕 🎶
캣타워에 이어 인트로에 나왔던 간식 퍼즐? 그거도 똑같은거 사용하시넹 다시한번 반갑...
다시 볼게요
도로 지금은 건강하죠? 건강해야돼!!
커엽다 ㅎㅎ
고양이 2말이 한번 만져 보고 싶네요 ㅋㅋ 고양이 만져 보는 오래 돼어서 ㅋㅋ 저의 옛날에 살던 집에도 고양이 3대 쨰 키워는데 지금 은 없어지고 지금 동네에서 길고양이 만져 보고 싶은데 거의 도망 다니다는 ㅋㅋ우힝 ㅋㅋ
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😍
👍👍👍!!!!!
도로의 건강을 기원합니다
노 메이크업도 이쁘시당 ㅋㅋ
반려동물안키우지만 말못하는반려동물들 아프믄 맴찢 차라리 아파 라고말했음좋겠다하드라구요 반려동물키우는보호자들은 ㅜ아프지마 냥이들아
🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
항상 키워도 되나라는 고민이 몇년 째... 책임감이 생기면 내가 옳다고 생각하는 말도 행동도 못하는 인생이 될까. 깊은 생각. 그래서 솔로를 선택 했음에도 반려동물을 생각도 주저. 중년에 들어 섬에도... 아직도 선택장애. 그래도 책임은 아직도 무겁다는 걸 생각하며 ... 인내.
저는 청소를 못해서 집사가 될 수 없네요 😢
9월인데 눈이 와요???😢
생얼도이리이쁘니ㅣ
🐈⬛
와라
👍👍👍💖💖👑👑👑🌷🌷
처방식 장이 안좋나봐요 가스트로 드시고
냥냥이 집사군요
한국고양이 토종은 칼라가 저리나오나
Oink Oink.. I can't believe that YOU are gone.. You told me that YOU will be back.. I have found a Note and it was placed by the front door.. I came home late and I saw the Note before I came in.. I read the note telling me that YOU are leaving some where and telling me you wanted time and space.. and taking a trip where I can't find YOU.. I would be waiting for YOU.. but will you come soon.. because YOU have not tell me when YOU will be back.. I would open the Back door and I would be standing at the back yard.. I would be looking at the table.. I would turn back.. we both would sit here at the Back yard.. pulling out the cold Beer.. and I would give YOU one.. after I would pop the Can open.. I just loved your Smile.. whenever I would stare and look into your eyes.. I would see YOU smile.. I would stand here all alone.. I turn to look at the table.. you would sit.. and I would stand.. You would be asking me if I had the cold Beer and of course.. I would go into the house.. grabbing the two cold cans and I bring it out to the back yard.. I would see you smile as I give you the cold can of beer.. I would be asking you about your days of work.. You would tell me that YOU love to work.. Of course I would share and tell you that I do also love to work.. always busy at work.. running all day through the night and seems like I am never tired.. when I come home and YOU call me on the Phone.. YOU would ask me if YOU can come over.. and as I am standing here by myself.. I am missing YOU.. I keep on looking over.. looking at the table.. I would watch you take a sip of the Can of cold Beer.. Now I don't see YOU.. after reading the Note that YOU went on a far away trip.. I wonder why did YOU not invited me.. YOU know that I would love to go with YOU.. joining you some where far and some where fun.. I just love watching YOU smile.. but at this Point of the Night.. I don't see you smile.. it hurts Me deep inside that YOU are not here this very night.. you would always call me on this day and asking me if YOU can come over.. if I had the Can of Cold Beer.. I would keep on looking at this table.. just remembering your presence which Now I miss you the Most.. WHY do I keep on missing YOU.. what did you do to my Heart.. is it the Cold Beer.. Is it when I pop the Can Open giving you the Can of the Cold Beer.. is it when YOU asked me.. if YOU can drink the Cold can of Beer.. or before YOU come over.. it can be your call on the phone.. I be looking at the Phone.. it remains silent.. there is NO text messaging on the Other side.. I don't hear any ringing on the Phone.. but I would look at this table.. and I turn to look at the Phone.. which I don't hear any noise.. as I turn too look Up the sky.. I have the cold can of beer with me.. being alone.. and standing here alone.. I would press the Button on the Phone.. I would see your Picture in the screen of the Phone.. It is when YOU sat by this Table.. and the first picture if you holding the Can of cold beer with a big smile.. my finger slides and it flips.. the Next Picture is YOU just sitting with a smile.. and I would look at it.. I would be looking at YOU.. and I would walk back.. and I would ask.. can YOU please look at me and I do remember you sitting there and YOU turn to look.. and I would show YOU.. look at this Phone for me please.. can YOU please smile for me.. I want a picture of YOU please.. can I take a picture of YOU and add it on the Phone Please and YOU would put the Can of the Cold Beer on the table and YOU would smile and I am trying to get the right angle and I would focus on your Beautiful face and I would say.. YOU are so Pretty.. do YOU know that YOU are the Most Prettiest when YOU smile the Most.. can I take the Picture of YOU and I click and the Phone takes the picture and I would walk and show you the Picture of YOU on the Phone screen and YOU would look at the Picture.. I guess YOU did not like this One.. and I do remember you picking UP the Can of the Cold Beer and asking for another picture.. I would walk back.. looking at the Phone screen.. I would ask YOU to smile once More and I see you smile.. and press to click on the Phone.. I would walk closer to you and show you the Other Picture of YOU on the Phone screen.. and YOU would look at it.. and this time gave me a big smile.. that YOU like it and I look at you.. I like it too.. Not just like it but I love it.. I love when YOU smile.. please smile More for me.. because it tickles my Heart when I see you smile.. makes me smile too from the inside out.. as I am looking at the Picture.. my finger slides for the screen to turn.. I am missing YOU.. because I know that when YOU are here.. YOU.. make me smile.. I feel more alive when YOU are so close to Me.. that I can feel you breathe and can hear your Heart beat.. I just need YOU.. I just need to feel you close to me.. why did YOU have to go on this long trip.. when are YOU coming back to the state so that I can see you again.. as I am looking on the Phone.. I hear the phone ringing.. and I just can't believe it.. it is YOU who is calling me.. is it really YOU calling.. I see your Name and the Number.. and I would answer the Phone.. and I can hear your voice on the Other side.. and I would smile and I would say to YOU on the Phone.. guess what I am doing right Now.. and of course YOU knows me.. and I would say.. YOU are right.. BINGO.. I am standing out in the back yard.. I have in my hand Your favorite cold can of Beer.. I am standing by the table.. and I would turn too look at where YOU sat and just started to miss YOU.. and I would be looking on the Phone.. looking at the screen and into the two pictures I have taken of YOU.. started to look.. I wanted to smile but How.. YOU are not even here so I started to miss YOU more and more as I would start to sip more on this Cold can of Beer.. I just keep on missing YOU.. I was waiting for YOU to call me because I did not want to disturb YOU on this far trip.. I am looking at the Moon.. YOU know that it is Night here so standing out here alone.. I miss you more.. we would both out here in the back yard.. do YOU remember that I would point UP to the sky.. telling YOU that there is The MOON.. I would say.. this Moon knows that I love YOU.. this Moon tells me that One night.. to bring YOU here so that this MOON can see who I be talking about.. I know that YOU do not show UP often because YOU are so busy at work.. I would stand here out in the back yard like this Very Night.. and I would turn to LOOK at the sky.. and when the MOON appears before me.. I would walk up to show myself before the MOON and I would tell the Moon.. I have been thinking about YOU for a long time.. YOU have been going across my mind for a while now.. But for some reason I just could not tell YOU face to face because I don't want to ruin the friendship we built together for a long time.. and I remember looking at this MOON.. I would tell the MOON.. I don't want to tell YOU anything because what if it goes wrong.. what if YOU do not accept my Heart.. and would reject my Heart and YOU would tell me that YOU did not feel comfortable around me any more.. if I hear those words out of your lips.. you know that I be getting a Heart attack.. I might even feel like I should of never told you in the first place if it is going to ruin our friendship.. and I would be coming to the back yard.. looking UP to the MOON.. and I would say.. what If it does Not work out.. what if YOU don't accept my Heart.. if YOU tell me Not to Love YOU.. then what is going to happen of all these years.. Of me trying to build this friendship.. I don't want it to go down as a waste or the drain.. I just wanted to tell you that I love YOU more than just friends.. I remember I told the MOON the Night before YOU came to this House.. I am going to show the MOON who you are by letting YOU come to the back Yard of this house.. YOU called me that night and I invited YOU.. YOU followed me to the back yard and I brought the Cold can of beer.. YOU sat down by the table.. and I would show YOU.. I wanted to show you something.. YOU have never met before and I would look at you.. can YOU Please look up.. look to that sky and something is waiting for YOU.. I remember you got up from sitting and came with Me.. and I would lead you and we both stopped and my finger pointed.. and the MOON was standing High above and I would tell you.. LOOK at that Moon.. do you see the Moon I am pointing at and YOU would tell me YOU see that MOON.. and I would say.. for a long time.. I would come to the back of this yard.. and many times my words cannot come out to YOU.. because what if YOU do not want to listen and to accept the words I say to YOU.. so I would be standing out here alone.. I would open my Heart and I would speak to that Moon.. that My words just can't come out.. because I don't want to lose YOU.. I don't want to lose anything from YOU.. even just you being here means everything to me.. your presences.. your smile.. hearing your voice.. asking me for the Can of cold Beer.. just your friendship that I love the Most.. but My Heart wants More.. I want more than just your presence.. I want more than your friendship.. I want YOU.. I need YOU.. I want to love YOU and I need YOU to tell me that I can love YOU more.. and I would tell that MOON.. what am I suppose to do when I feel this way.. the More I see YOU the More I want.. the want becomes a need which it comes from my Heart.. and My Heart wants to love YOU.. More and More I want to love YOU and tell these words of mine to YOU.. I been keeping it inside for a long time because losing YOU would crush my world.. without YOU.. I know I just can't go on..
MAH MAH.. if I lose YOU.. it means we were never meant to Be.. but if I am able to love YOU.. it is something new can start.. something that I wanted for a long time.. I have the courage to tell YOU this because I know that I love YOU.. I would stand next to YOU as I would tell you these words and YOU would look at me.. and turn to look UP to that Moon.. that Moon has heard my plea of cries because NO ONE wants to be rejected.. No one wants to lose someone you love.. NO ONE wants to be strangers when we are now friends.. but I want more than friends.. I want more than friendship.. I just want YOU so that I can start loving YOU more and more.. over and over I can keep on loving YOU because I know that deep in my heart I love YOU.. I am standing Next to YOU.. Looking at another Bed of Flowers.. Next to the Tree.. I see you standing next to Me.. One of my Friends pulling on the Rope of the Horse and stops behind Me.. and I turn to look back.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. Where can I go with YOU.. If I asked you to stay with me.. Where can I take YOU.. there is Not many places I know that I can take YOU.. but MAH MAH.. YOU are the One who can go to many Places.. YOU are a part of the Kingdom.. which YOU are the Princess of the Nation.. who is to become the Next Ruler.. I know that YOU have a Voice.. strong voice to take control and also can unite the World.. and there are so many People who will follow YOU and will support on joining with YOU.. I know that I can't really give YOU much.. and has decided to Let You Go for Now.. I have something I must do but I know that I will always Love YOU.. I know that your father.. the King.. PEH HA is waiting for YOU.. if YOU don't go now.. and I see you turn Your Head but seems like YOU just don't want to go.. I am so confused.. YOU have brought me here.. and I have followed YOU here.. but here.. what am I suppose to Do.. I am only showing YOU the History of the dead People who once was alive.. but Now.. this is the Only their grave.. but why do YOU want to come and see both of the Parents of mine.. and YOU are asking me to stay here with YOU.. but.. I know YOU have a Bigger Plan.. YOU are suppose to rule for the Next.. I know your Father wants YOU to take control.. I am only a Palace Guard who just can't do much.. YOU are asking me where did My spirit Go.. YOU are asking me where did ALL that Heart go when I was in Prison.. all the Words I was telling YOU.. all the Pains and Passions of just telling YOU how much I love YOU.. YOU are asking me where is all the Inspiration of loving YOU went.. it has Not gone anywhere.. I still have it in my Heart.. I do love you then.. and I still love YOU now.. it is just the situation where I am standing on this ground.. So you are asking me to GO fight against the WILL of your Father.. WHO is the King of the Nation.. I am Not going to fight against Your Father.. because He is the One who is going to be the ONE to give YOU His Crown and He is the One WHO loves YOU more than Me.. Your Father loves YOU More.. that is why He is wanting you to RULE.. But when YOU are ruling.. I know that I am Not allowed to step In.. because I am Only a Palace Guard.. that is why I know that I can only love YOU from the Distance.. I believe MAH MAH.. YOU have Big Dreams.. YOU have Big Plans and Goals.. I want to see YOU accomplish and establish what is YOURS.. because of Me I don't want you to stop Dreaming.. I want you to Keep on pursuing BIGGER and Greater things even it means to Lose Me.. If I cannot be with YOU.. I know because YOU are such a Greater Woman.. YOU have things Much Bigger things to do then I.. that does Not means I will Not stop loving YOU.. I will love you even when YOU stand afar.. I will love you when YOU see the MOON UP in the sky and the Stars are next to it.. I will love you even when YOU don't see me near.. I will love YOU because I know that I believe in loving YOU is the greatest feeling.. just because Your Presence is Not here.. I know I still can tell YOU I love YOU because Love can truly reach and meet YOU on the Other side.. LOOK at how this all came about.. SO you are afraid that just because I am Not with YOU.. the distance will drift us apart.. if YOU don't see me.. If I am Not around any more.. YOU feel like YOU can't receive My Love.. and ON the back I pulled Out the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing.. the Picture of YOU.. DO you see How the pieces were torn.. It was when I was very Young and I see you turn to look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. This is when I was very young.. I told YOU.. My Father brought this to me when I was a Young Boy and showed me this Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. when I saw it.. I just could not get YOU off my Mind.. this Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. it may seems like it is Nothing to YOU.. but for Me.. it means everything.. I held it.. I would look at It.. I would even Kiss this Picture of YOU.. I would say.. I am going to meet MAH MAH one day.. I am going to Meet CONG JU NIM one day.. I would sit in the room alone.. I would be holding this Art Sketch Paper.. paste on the wall.. and just LOOK at your Picture.. I would say.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. How are YOU today.. can I please smile for YOU because I am having a Bad day.. I wonder How it would feel to see YOU and meet YOU face to face.. would I be still sad.. It was my Mother's Birthday but she is NO Longer with me today and I be looking at your Picture.. telling YOU.. I want to see YOU.. when Can I meet YOU MAH MAH.. Please tell me that I can come to YOU.. Please tell me that I will be okay.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. and I would be sitting in the room.. just day dreaming of one day meeting YOU.. and when I think of the past time.. I felt very sad and lonely most of the days just longing for YOU.. just wanting to Meet YOU.. I do remember asking my Father when he came home.. Can I go with HIM to meet YOU.. I would ask him and Beg Him please.. Can you please take me with YOU.. I want to see MAH MAH.. I want to meet CONG JU NIM.. it is Not fair that YOU get to see her but Not me.. Of course.. My father would not want to take me because He knew How I would act.. I was so in love with the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I was so in love with YOU even before ever knowing YOU.. before even meeting YOU.. I told my Father I have big dreams too.. and He would ask.. what kind of dreams I had and I would say.. I want to marry the Princess.. I want to marry CONG JU NIM.. I want to marry MAH MAH and my father looks at me and laughs.. telling me I have a Big Heart but can Die for it and I would say Yes.. sometimes YOU needs to die for something to Have it.. I will die for it.. and My Father smiles but also says.. it is wrong.. and Now.. I see you standing next to me.. and YOU are wondering why am I pushing YOU away after all these years of struggling to be with YOU.. why do I want YOU to go or am I the one who is letting YOU go.. I am Not letting YOU GO.. I want to be with YOU for the rest of our lives but I know that YOU have big Dreams.. and I know you needs to accomplish Your Big Dreams first.. I am letting YOU go because I love YOU.. I want too see YOU fulfill Your Dreams.. I know that YOU want to succeed Your Father.. I know that YOU want to rule.. I know that YOU want to be the Next to take over and to rule for the Nation.. I know that YOU are born to RULE like your Father who is ruling.. that is why I know that I needs to step back to take my place as YOU are to take Your Place as for the One to succeed it.. Your Father is calling YOU for YOU to rule.. I received the Message.. and I would turn to look back.. My Friend falls on the fours.. and I turn to LOOK at YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. my friend who has come long ways with me.. He is going to take YOU back to the Palace with YOUR Horse.. will YOU please sit ON your Horse.. I see that YOU are pulling away.. I would hold your hand.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I want YOU to go so that YOU can take Your Place.. they are asking YOU to come to the Palace.. as I would watch YOU step on the back of my Friend and I see YOU sit on the Horse.. My friend stands UP and He grabs the Rope.. and I see Him turning away.. My Heart.. I just can't believe it is My Heart.. I can't breathe.. It is so Hard to breathe as I am watching YOU sitting on the Horse.. My friend is leading as He is pulling on the Rope of the Horse going down the Hill slowly.. as I am watching YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. the Horse and YOU riding on the Horse becomes smaller.. I would watch Your Head turning to look back at Me.. and I see My Friend leaving as all three leaves out of the sight.. But My Heart.. what is wrong with My Heart.. why is My Heart hurting for.. I know that I have made a choice.. a decision to Let YOU go for Your Best.. but WHY is My Heart hurting me so Bad.. and My hand presses on my chest.. it is so Hard to breathe again.. I fall onto my knees.. I just don't want to get UP any more because this is Hurting me so Bad.. I would turn my Head UP towards the Moon.. I feel like I want to cry.. I just want to let all my tears out of Me.. because it hurts me so Bad.. My Heart feels like it is breaking.. Breaking and It hurts as it keeps on breaking inside of me.. as I would let my tears go.. and it rolls out from my eyes and I turn to LOOK up at the Moon and I would speak to the MOON.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I am not letting you go because I know that I can't.. LOOK at me right Now.. How can I ever let YOU GO but I know that there is a TIME and its Place.. and where YOU
MAH MAH.. are suppose to take Your Place.. what am I suppose to do if YOU are going to the right Place.. Only thing I want to do is the right thing.. I don't want to be the one to do the wrong.. I want to Obey what is given by the Order so that YOU can take Your Place.. the Place where YOU truly belong.. I want to be with YOU.. DO you know how it feels on my part to be close to YOU.. when I stand next to YOU.. I get goose bumps running through my Body.. my Heart just can't stop beating.. I can hear my own Heart bear faster as I stand next to YOU.. just to turn and to face YOU and even to be able to tell YOU this Heart of mine is so amazing.. it is the most uplifting feeling to able to tell YOU How my Heart.. truly feels deep down inside.. I am a Low Born.. a Father who is the Head of the servants.. I was born from that Family Line.. what can I truly do when YOU are the Princess.. CONG JU NIM of the Nation.. the Next in line to rule for the Country whom I love and whom I serve.. but to able to tell YOU and express.. even to say to YOU that YOU are so Beautiful.. that YOU are all my Love.. even to tell you that is just enough on my Part.. I just can't be greedy to want More.. of course My Heart and My Mind wants More and More of YOU.. I want everything of YOU.. I want to love YOU.. I want to marry YOU and I want to be the One who to love YOU.. but the truth is that I know I have my own place.. and I know that YOU have your own place.. that is what Hurts me the Most because I wish that I can have the same place as YOU.. but I guess we are from different family lines.. it does Not means I will stop loving YOU.. I will keep on loving YOU.. but it will feel a little different because I will love YOU in a way YOU are to guess.. as I am my two knees.. Looking UP toward the Moon.. behind me.. YOU are sitting on the Horse.. my Friend did Not leave all the way but stopped to ask me something.. He pauses while I am looking at the MOON.. telling the MOON about YOU MAH MAH.. speaking from my Heart to tell the MOON HOW I am feeling right Now.. MAH MAH.. Please.. in my Heart I don't want YOU to go but I know that YOU Must go because YOUR place is waiting for YOU.. YOU have a Big Part of the Place.. the throne which is waiting for YOU.. but for Me.. I can only look at this Moon and tell the MOON how much I love YOU.. I am taking you to the Garden.. I want to show YOU something.. and I am walking.. my hand on the Strings of the Horse.. and YOU are sitting on the Top of the Horse.. with Your White Dress.. as I am walking.. hand grabbing unto the strings and the Horse is walking next to me.. I see the Garden.. and Closer and closer we are getting.. I would turn my Head looking UP toward YOU.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. YOU know that YOU did not have to do this.. YOU are in the Royal Blood Line.. and I am a son of a servant.. but why do you want to go with me here.. you know that I am a low Born.. from the lowest clan.. but tell me Why.. all you need to say is one word and I can just die in the streets.. and No one would know my Name.. would ever recognize me.. but why do you want me to take YOU back to this Garden.. and I would turn my Head looking straight and I went into the Garden.. hand grabbing unto the strings of the Horse.. I don't hear any words from YOU.. as YOU are sitting.. with a Crown on top of Your Head.. with the most beautiful white Dress.. My eyes.. which I just can't keep it still.. My eyes just kept on looking at YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful.. MAH MAH.. My Princess.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. why are you asking me to take YOU back to this Garden.. I told you that my Heart left this Garden long ago.. the day I left was when I saw YOU with another MAN.. the royal Prince.. it hurts me when I come back to this Garden.. it hurts me of the bad memories I had when My Heart would torn into pieces.. knowing that I am so little.. I am so lost.. I was so confused.. even though I knew that I could never be with YOU.. but still.. my Heart was torn when I saw YOU standing with the Royal Prince.. How small and little I felt when I saw YOU holding his Hand.. I would stop.. the Horse stops.. and I am looking at the Bed of flowers.. and I am not sure why you wanted to come to this Flower.. as I would stand next to YOU.. two guards also came.. and they would help YOU to get Out of the Horse.. and I am looking at the Bed of Flowers.. and this is where my Father is buried.. of course YOU don't know it.. but I have taken you to his Grave.. as YOU were standing next to me.. and I wanted to tell YOU something.. which I had Not before.. and I turn my Head on the side to look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. do YOU know what this Is.. and I would look at YOU.. turning your head to look at me.. and I would turn my Head to look at the bed of Flowers.. I know that YOU wanted to come to the Garden but before we can go further down.. I wanted to stop by my Father's grave.. this is where My Father is buried.. When he died.. I did not know where to put His Body.. but I wanted his Grave to be close where I am able to find and to go.. my Father may not be here.. but I know his spirit is with me.. I wanted to remember my Father.. and wanted to be close to HIM.. so I remember this would be the best place to bury his Body.. so with the grave diggers.. I would be standing here.. crying as my Father's body would be laid to rest.. I remember I would be crying for him.. days after days would go by.. I still could Not believe that My Father would be gone.. and I wanted to show YOU.. this is my Father's Grave.. when times are rough.. when times are tough.. and I feel like pouring out my tears.. I would come to my Father's grave.. I remember when I would be sad.. when I be hurt.. He would be next to me.. I would be crying as he would tell me all things be okay in the end.. Now MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I know that YOU may not remember my Father.. He was close to you Once.. and yes.. he was your servant.. the King.. PEH HA would put my father in charge to look after YOU.. I am not sure if YOU ever remember my Father.. of course something happened that my father went into the prison.. and he was sentence to death.. I saw HIM in the prison bars.. a carriage with bars.. and he told me.. never to Love YOU.. Never to love the Princess.. and I saw the carriage with bars leave off.. that was the last thing.. I think YOU were young back then.. because I was Young too when he died.. MAH MAH.. do you remember the Man who was your servant.. and I see YOU turn your head to look at me.. I see your head moving Up and down.. means YOU do remember my Father.. I think he told me YOU were so bright.. very bold and courageous.. Loves to shoot bows and arrows.. told me that YOU love riding Horses and loves to Hunt wild games.. has never seen any one like YOU before.. that My father believes if YOU were a Prince.. YOU be a Mighty warrior Prince is what he told me.. but YOU are a Princess instead.. I don't know why and I don't know how this happened to me.. why would I love a Mighty Warrior Princess.. my father told me before He was going to prison.. Never Love the Princess.. Because something Horrible can happen to me in the end.. and Now.. I have brought YOU to the Man.. the one who use to serve YOU as a servant.. this is my Father's Grave.. this is the bed of Flowers I was talking to YOU about for a long time.. and now you were wondering how come I am telling YOU this HUH.. MAH MAH.. I know its be long years since then.. and many years has passed by.. there was No chance where I was able to tell YOU.. everything happened so fast.. I know that I should of never met YOU.. then I am sure I would never fall in love.. but what good is all that talk about the past when I am here in the present with YOU.. I told YOU that I am Not afraid to Die.. if I die because of loving YOU is a sin.. then Please.. Kill me for my Sin.. but I did not mean to love YOU this Long.. I did not mean to love YOU.. it just happened out of nowhere.. I remember it was the day my Father came from work.. serving YOU.. and He brought a Picture.. he brought the Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. he told me when he came Home late into the night.. I was Not sleeping.. and showed me the Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. My father was smiling when He gave me the Picture.. the sketch paper.. telling me an Artist drew this Picture of CONG JU NIM.. I would be asking How YOU.. MAH MAH was like.. I was very curious because my Father who served YOU would always be smiling.. and He was very happy to be there as Your Servant.. of course.. I took the Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU into my hands and I looked.. when my eyes first saw this Picture.. I would feel something was wrong with my Heart.. it would burn and kept on burning with me.. I would place my hand on the chest.. I don't know but something is wrong with me.. what is happening to My Heart.. it burns like fire within me.. and my Father would stand there and He looks.. He told me it should not be.. that this is Wrong.. and I would be looking at the Picture of YOU.. the Art sketch paper.. My Father looks.. and he grabs the Sketch Paper and snatches off my Hands.. and He turns and walks off.. I remember I started to cry.. crying loud and loud.. asking for the Sketch Art Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I want to see the Picture.. I want to see YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. I want to see YOU.. I would be looking for it.. my father would tell me Not to love YOU.. I just can't.. I should Not.. because If the King knows that I do.. even he can die because of
MAH MAH.. Me.. if the words get out.. and someone finds Out.. I can be executed with my Father and he tells me never to Love YOU.. I remember my father was sleeping in his room.. and I came into my father's room.. I see the Art Sketch paper laying next to HIM.. I went over and I grabbed the Art sketch paper.. walking into my room.. I would unfold and find myself looking at the Picture of YOU.. my hand goes across the paper.. and I just wanted to see YOU.. I wanted to see MAH MAH.. can I ever see CONG JU MAH MAH.. would I get the chance to see YOU.. and I would sit by myself.. looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. my Hands.. my arms.. putting the Picture of YOU.. the Art sketch Paper to my chest.. I want to see YOU but I want to love YOU.. I saw my Father looking at me.. he stands in the room.. He sees my arms.. the Art sketch paper.. the picture of YOU close to my Chest.. close to my Heart and I turn too look up.. I want to see CONG JU NIM.. CAN I SEE MAH MAH.. Father.. can I please see how CONG JU NIM is like.. Please Father.. and He gets very angry at me and grabs.. snatches it off.. take the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture and tears it into the pieces and tosses it out side.. and He walks off the house.. and I would look out side.. I see the Art sketch paper torn into pieces.. and I would cry.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and I would go out and sit.. picking UP the pieces toward.. trying to find each torn pieces of papers.. and the light rain would not help me at all.. as it became soak and wet over the rain fall.. I would try to put the pieces together but the rain and I would sit in the rain crying.. crying for YOU.. wanting to see the Picture of YOU and It torn my heart into pieces.. As I am now with YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. it was such a long ago when I first saw your Picture.. I wanted to glue it back.. some way and some how I wanted the Art sketch Paper.. I started to miss looking at you through the Picture.. asking My Father.. begging HIM to get an Artist to draw another picture.. from the Sketch paper.. I wanted to see MAH MAH.. I wanted to see the Princess.. I wanted to see CONG JU NIM.. my Father kept on telling me that If I keep on doing this.. I will die sooner.. if the Word breaks Out.. I can be executed and told me to forget you.. and as I am now looking at the bed of Flowers.. I am standing next to you and I would show YOU.. this is my Father's grave.. I wanted to bring YOU to this Bed of flowers because this is where My Father is buried.. it has been a long time since I visited him.. but I wanted to tell YOU this.. my Father wanted me Not to Love YOU.. told me that YOU were so dangerous to Me.. that my life has to be on the line if I cross this Line and yes.. I have crossed the line for a long time.. but the Word never got out until now.. I have been loving YOU the day I saw Your Picture.. I have never met YOU in my life but knew that one day something has to happened.. I wanted to tell my Father.. I am at his grave with YOU next to Me.. of course he is right because I am on the verge of facing my own death.. but I want to tell my Father.. I will go down with HIM.. and I turn to you.. MAH MAH.. I loved YOU then.. I loved you when I never met YOU.. I started to love you when I met YOU the first time.. I love you much more because I still have life in me.. if I am given me a new day.. I am so thankful that this day is made so that I can love YOU MORE.. Now.. I am able to show you my Father's grave.. I was warned and been warned for a long time.. not to cross the line.. Not to love YOU.. but My Heart.. I just could not let YOU go MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I guess I wanted to tell YOU.. whatever happens to me in the future.. at least YOU get to see my Father's grave.. in the bed of flowers where he is buried.. I am Not sure if this was the main reason why you wanted to come to this Garden.. is it too meet my Father's grave.. because this is where My Father was buried.. after he died.. His Body.. his Bones are here now.. as long as I still have life in me for a day.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. PRINCESS.. I will always love YOU.. even then.. even now and forever I will love YOU.. I am Looking at YOU.. You with the White Dress.. and I just can't believe it is YOU.. MAH MAH.. It is My Princess.. NEH CONG JU NIM.. Still can't believe that I am standing next to YOU.. Never imagine that I be able to share my Heart to YOU.. Always felt Like I am a Shadow.. just Distance and Miles apart.. Separated from YOU.. How is it that I am able to share my Heart.. Share this Heart of Mine.. How is it possible that I am able to tell YOU.. How much I love YOU.. I remember.. this Place.. BY this Tree.. only thing that I can do was to Look across.. and Only I can be dreaming.. Wishing upon the Stars.. I would watch over.. Looking at the Sky.. Looking at the Night.. Looking at the Moon.. and just be wishing.. Only It may happen.. but.. I would only put my Hand on this Chest.. and Only can be thinking.. dreaming.. even though I may be dreaming.. will it ever come true.. Is it possible that I am able to express my Heart and share my Heart direct to YOU.. How can it be.. As I am standing By YOU.. I turn to face YOU.. Looking at YOU.. Can YOU feel what I feel.. Can YOU Hear my Heart beating for YOU.. YOU are so Near to Me.. How can this be True.. and I put my hand on my Chest.. DO you see My hand.. it is touching my Chest.. but Inside is My Heart.. touching my Heart because My Heart is beating only for YOU.. Because I love YOU.. I just can't take my eyes off of YOU.. As I look Up.. I see the Sun.. and I pull the Sword Off the sheath and I show you the Blade of the Sword.. and I turn to YOU and I show you the Sword I am holding.. For a Long Time.. I dreamed of Holding a Sword.. I dreamed of holding this Sword to Protect YOU.. to protect the Nation.. the Palace.. to protect YOU CONG JU NIM.. I wanted to show YOU someday that I can be a Warrior.. that I can fight so that I can protect YOU.. to take Charge over to show YOU that I am also a MAN.. When I first saw YOU.. I do remember that I could Not even Hold a Sword.. only a Stick in my hand.. but what can a Stick do if a Person has a Sword.. I will die and I can't even protect myself.. I remember the first time I saw YOU.. I couldn't do anything.. holding a stick.. for what.. to do Nothing on my part.. I saw YOU riding on the Horse.. the White Horse and YOU blew my Mind.. I couldn't think straight.. I felt I was going crazy over YOU.. just fell on my knees.. because YOU are so Beautiful.. I remember I asked a person who I knew.. the Person said that Young Girl who is riding on that Horse.. She is the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH is what the person told Me.. and there is NO way YOU can even lift UP your eyes unless YOU wish to Die.. if YOU want to dig up your Own grave.. YOU can love but WILL die if the King.. or the Queen finds Out.. I remember I just could Not stop Looking at YOU.. YOU were wearing the same dress.. the White Dress on a White Horse.. going through the Fields.. fields of Flowers.. your hands would be holding.. grabbing unto the Flowers.. it was at this Same garden.. not Here at the hill top.. but at the Bottom below.. I was holding a Bucket of waters.. working and I saw YOU.. I remember the Bucket fell off my hands.. and I see YOU Off the White Horse.. walking across the field.. Your Smile.. the twinkles in your eyes sparked and felt like I saw a Shooting stars from your lovely Eyes.. and I would stand there.. the Bucket on the floor.. water across the ground.. My Heart would be pounding.. it be pounding with Beatings coming with it.. I felt like My Heart has been attacked.. Never felt this way in my Life.. I stood there.. wondering.. what just happened to My Heart.. another Boy who works with me comes and stands next to me.. and he looks at my eyes and turns to look.. and He could not believe.. I turn to look at the boy who worked with me.. he says.. that is MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. SHE is MAH MAH.. CONG JU MAH MAH NIM.. and I just couldn't believe it.. How does He knows but I don't know that.. I felt so Ashamed and I felt hurt for Not knowing but what was going to Happen to my Heart.. My Hand kept on touching my Chest.. I wanted my hand to stop.. but My Heart from the Inside kept on Beating and Pounding.. I felt I am going out of control.. HE looks at me.. He was another person who told me.. Not to think of YOU.. Don't even think about it because YOU will die.. YOU will be killed by Guards.. and yes.. I saw few Special Body Guards and Guards standing.. with Swords.. and they were watching over YOU.. and I started to Cry.. as the Boy who works with me left.. I can't believe it.. WHY.. WHY do I have to Love YOU.. I know that I am going to Die.. I know I will not live a Long time but WHY.. I asked myself.. I know it is IMPOSSIBLE to love someone who is the Princess.. But What can I do.. How can I stop if I already started to Love YOU.. I just couldn't believe it.. I be holding a stick in my hand.. and I lift to look at it.. I told myself.. Can I ever hold a sword.. what can I do with this Small stick.. Nothing I can do.. can't even protect my own self then How can I protect YOU My Princess.. as I watch YOU
MAH MAH.. come and go.. I remember YOU love flowers.. I started to gather some seeds.. and I would start to sow seeds and to start planting in the Garden.. I know that the Princess.. CONG JU NIM comes to this Garden from Time to Time.. So I want to at least give YOU a Flower.. I see One Flower.. it catches my eyes.. as it begin to produce and grow and Mature.. It was the SUN FLOWER.. I would look at this Flower.. I told that Flower.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM is going to show UP to this garden again.. SO I am going to prepare so that the Princess may have this Flower.. I want to give so that It speaks what is in my Heart.. there is Nothing that I can give to MAH MAH.. what can I give.. but I want to give this Flower showing it has a special Place in my Heart.. I remember YOU came.. brought an Army with YOU.. who stood BY to watch and guard YOU.. I remember I Heard the News that YOU came to the Garden.. Would walk through the field of Flowers.. and I ran.. I grabbed the SUN FLOWER.. and I saw YOU at the field.. and YOU turn to face me.. My Heart.. I am not sure why My Heart would act UP.. I can hear loud beatings coming from the Inside.. can Hear like someone is knocking at the door.. so Loud and Clear.. Holding the SUN FLOWER in my Hand.. I asked for Your Hand.. if I can give YOU this Flower.. will YOU take and accept this Flower.. I know there is nothing I can give.. what can I give.. I am a Lowly servant Boy.. I can't give YOU anything but please.. Just remember that THIS SUN FLOWER has a Special Place in my Heart.. I was gathering some seeds.. a friend of Mine told me he had a SUN FLOWER SEED.. and gave it to me.. it be the Most Beautiful Flower in the Garden because of HOW it brings a True JOY OUT.. so I would smile as I planted and sowed with other seeds.. and MY FRIEND was right.. I feel in love because this Flower always reminds me of YOU.. Makes me Smile and stands Out of the crowd.. after I saw this Flower.. I just wanted to give and show YOU.. My Heart always felt this Happy when I saw YOU.. when No one else was around or came.. the Smile YOU GAVE ME.. the Love that is IN MY HEART started because YOU are More Beautiful than this SUN FLOWER.. and wanted to say.. How much I love YOU.. will you please take It.. will YOU please receive this Flower.. I saw YOU open YOUR HAND.. and YOU took it from My hand.. I never felt so Happy in my life.. I would be crying because I was so happy.. as I saw YOU leave.. My Heart be beating as I watch YOU.. Holding unto the Sun Flower.. Ever since that day.. I needed a Picture of YOU.. I wanted to keep on looking at YOU.. I did not want to lose my sight.. I did not want to stand here missing YOU.. but to keep on thinking of YOU and just loving YOU looking at your Picture.. I remember Standing on the Hill TOP.. I wanted YOU to come to this TOP of the HILL.. by this tree.. I wanted to ask YOU for a Favor.. if I can have a Picture of YOU.. YOU TOOK my breathe away that day.. WHEN I saw YOU walking UP the Hill TOP.. I felt like why are YOU doing this to Me.. a Part of me is saying.. I know YOU should not come.. it is wrong on my part.. but the Other side is telling me.. I love YOU.. does Not matter about my Life.. As long as YOU KNOW CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH How much I love YOU.. I am doing this to tell YOU.. this is my Heart.. it goes much More than this because I want YOUR FULL ATTENTION.. and yes.. I need Your Heart and I want Your Love as much as I want to give YOU everything that I have.. as I saw YOU walking UP the Hill top.. I am standing there.. CAN THIS BE TRUE.. and YOU asked me why I send a Word.. but YOU came.. it is MAH MAH.. it is CONG JU NIM.. the Princess.. WHY would YOU even come.. WHY WOULD YOU show UP when YOU are at the Highest level.. why would YOU come to this Poor Boy.. this lowly Life servant.. WHY WOULD YOU even come here.. but I asked.. I have a favor for YOU.. and a Boy.. who is great artist.. who draws great sketch Paper.. Picture of YOU.. WHEN I saw YOU.. YOU had a BABY BLUE DRESS.. SO beautiful.. my eyes wanted to wander away because I did not want YOU to think I am a creep or think I be making YOU feel uncomfortable.. But I would watch YOU stand By the Tree.. with a Smile.. the Boy would sit.. started to draw on the sketch Paper.. and I.. Sent a Word to the Princess.. the Boy Looks UP and gives me a SMILE.. and tells me.. YOU are coming.. that CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH is coming.. and I just can't believe the Words I hear.. I feel this Tears.. and I would stand there with tears falling down My Eyes.. it has been a while.. it seems so much Longer.. Even though time goes by fast.. when YOU STAND here at the Hill TOP just waiting.. it feels a TIME goes so Slow.. and the Boy smiles.. and He turns and runs down the Hill top to the village.. I am wondering.. SO.. Where is the Princess COMING.. where is MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. where.. and I LOOK down.. I see.. I see YOU walking UP the Hill.. I am wondering is this a Joke.. Am I dreaming.. or is this Real.. I see YOU walking up and I can't believe it.. it is really YOU.. WHY did it take so Long.. I have been waiting.. waiting and waiting for a Long Time.. By this Tree.. do YOU SEE.. and I see YOU walk up to the TOP of the Hill and YOU stand there.. and I am wondering.. WHAT does this Means.. I am so excited that YOU CAME.. and Yes.. I look down.. My hand grabs the SUN FLOWER.. and I look at YOU.. WHY are you leaving this Flower Behind.. He has been waiting for YOU.. and each time you drop this Flower.. YOU are hurting HIM.. like How you hurt me.. YOU have been hurting my Heart because YOU just don't want to show UP.. Please tell me.. that YOU did come for me.. or is it for this Flower.. as I am looking at YOU.. The Boy comes too.. and I look at YOU.. can YOU DO me a Big favor.. Can YOU stand by this Tree.. and I would move aside and I see YOU coming underneath this Tree.. I look at YOU.. the Boy is Not just a Messenger.. But He draws.. He is an Artist with Ink and paper.. I wanted to ask YOU that I want a New Picture of YOU.. the Rain.. When the rain hit on me.. it also got to this Sketch Paper.. Now.. it is so hard to see Your Beautiful Face on this Sketch Paper.. I can't go On without Looking at YOU.. so I had to ask this Boy to send me a Word.. to Ask If YOU can COME CONG JU NIM.. Princess.. will YOU PLEASE do me a favor.. can this Boy draw a Sketch Paper.. Picture of YOU.. WHEN YOU stay far away.. and I be miles of distance away.. I don't want to forget Your Face.. I would be looking at the Inkless Sketch Paper.. barely see the Face.. the Rain had it almost ALL gone of the Ink.. Please stand by this Tree.. This Boy.. He is so good a drawing.. HE told me.. YOU are so Beautiful.. Like this Sun Flower.. YOU are the Most Beautiful Flower in the World.. I would show you the Sketch paper I am holding.. and YOU see that YOU can barely see Your Face and I see that YOU have agree to the my word.. I walk away from the Shade.. and The Boy sits down.. with Ink and Sketch.. a New Sketch Paper.. He dips and starts to draw.. I feel so emotional right Now.. as I am watching this Boy Draw.. and It looks Just Like YOU.. and my Heart.. YOU are hurting my Heart because YOU are so Beautiful.. take my breathe away as I am watching YOU stand by this Tree.. underneath the shades.. as the Boy smiles.. I want to cry.. because I love YOU.. do YOU want to see a Man cry.. YOU are so Adored and Loved.. Because I love YOU SO.. I love YOU so much CONG JU NIM.. I can stay all through the Night.. Looking at the stars.. and wishing on those stars.. for YOU TO SEE me count the stars.. and hoping that YOU can soon.. I have been waiting through the Nights too.. Maybe YOU would show UP in the night.. the Moon watching over YOU.. my Princess.. I would look at the stars.. my princess.. I would look at the Moon.. CONG JU NIM.. do YOU HEAR ME.. I am waiting by this Tree.. across I can see Your palace.. and I still wait until YOU COME.. and I would wait.. I watch the Boy finish the drawing with Ink.. and I am able to see the whole Picture.. The Boy is so talented and gifted.. as the Boy gets UP and He shows me.. and I grab it with both hands.. So Beautiful.. CONG JU NIM.. please come over and take a Look.. I see YOU smile and walk over.. and I show you the Picture of YOU.. Looks exactly Like YOU.. DO you see what I see.. it is YOU.. My Princess.. and as I watch you look at the Sketch Paper.. I want to Hold YOU.. I want to Hold YOU close and tell YOU.. I love YOU.. I don't want YOU TO GO.. but I know that SOON.. the SUN is going to go down.. and I see.. it is getting Late.. I just can't let YOU GO.. why must YOU GO.. I don't think this Sketch Paper.. this Picture of YOU is Not enough with me.. I can't let YOU go.. WHY go.. Please stay with me.. I
MY HEART.. DO you see that Beautiful Heart.. DO YOU see what I see.. DO YOU NOT want to touch that Heart.. I want to RUB MY FACE all over that Heart and BITE IT.. It look so GOOD.. SO Beautiful.. Now me Heart Looks UP.. LOOK At what I found.. YOU SEE YOU SEE.. and I just cannot believe it.. OH MOE.. is it really what I think it is.. IS it really really what it is.. ME two hands rubs over two eyes and stops.. OH MOE.. I Can't breathe no more.. CAN I touch YOU MY HEART and see the OR feel if the Heart beats fast.. I want to know.. let me know WHAT YOU feel My Heart.. OH GOSH NO NO.. is it really what I see.. My heart puts the Key Down.. I am smiling.. over joyed.. I cannot believe it.. I have been looking all over the Place.. BUT I JUST HOPE that this key Fits and Unlocks.. I turn to LOOK at Your Heart.. Just waiting.. Be patient with me.. I am going to go and Get YOU.. I am going to hold YOU IN my hands.. Hold YOUR HEART so close.. and I am going to tell YOUR HEART.. How much I been waiting for this Very Day.. that this very hour.. YOUR HEART is Mine for ever.. I am going to put my Lips and Kiss Your Heart.. ONE kiss.. smiles away.. TWO KISSES.. My lips cannot wait till I have Your Heart.. Hold Your Heart in both hands.. Wrap my arms around YOUR HEART.. put it close to my Chest.. LET MY HEART Move.. and show and share.. the sound of the Beating what Happens when I say I love YOU.. I cannot wait that I am able to tell and speak and whisper to Your Heart.. I love YOU.. I love you so Much that I missed YOU so much and Kiss Your heart.. I look at MY HEART.. I walk over.. I tell my heart.. YOU go UP on the top of this Glass Jar.. UNLOCK the Lock for me.. and I grab my heart both hands.. HE grabs the Key and I lift HIM UP to the TOP.. my both hands on the Glass JAR.. my face moves closer to the Glass.. Open my Mouth.. I just cannot wait to tell YOU I love you.. Once the Key Unlocks and Opens the door.. I am going to tell YOUR HEART.. I missed YOU so Much.. NOW I can tell Your Heart.. I love YOU.. that YOU are the world prettiest pretty.. The Most Lovely and SO beautiful.. that I get to put YOU CLOSE to MY HEART.. my Heart told me that HE wants to Love YOU.. wants to wrap HIS Arms around YOU and will take YOU around all over the Place.. YOU are such a Beauty.. the Most beautiful.. I want to hold YOU.. I want to hold YOU close.. SO that YOU can come close to me as well.. I know without Your heart.. YOU NEED your heart.. If you want Your heart come over here and Get it from Me.. If you don't.. I am going to Love Your Heart forever.. I will love YOU.. I Look up.. well.. I am not hearing anything UP there My Heart.. what is going ON up there.. Tell me.. Please Tell me.. I look at My Heart looking down.. The key fits but.. INK.. It does Not unlock.. Still.. it is Locked.. The Key cannot unlock it.. SO what do You want me to do.. I turn to LOOK straight.. How COME.. WHY does the key Unlock.. TELL ME.. I am looking at Your Heart.. WHY does not the Key Work.. TELL ME.. is this the wrong Key.. It must be because it just will lock UP there.. What am I suppose to DO now.. I was so Close to Your Heart but My Heart has found the wrong key.. I lift both hands off the Glass.. One finger Points and Touch the GLASS.. I want to scream.. I want to yell from the TOP of me Lungs.. where is the Key.. I want it.. Tell me.. How can I get to that heart because I want it.. I want your Heart right Now.. IF you only tell me where is that One key.. I am sure I can get it.. unlock it and grab YOUR HEART off this Glass jar.. I want it.. please.. oh moe Please tell me.. where are the Key.. I want it.. I want it now.. I want that Heart.. I want Your Heart heart.. so Please tell ME where are the Key.. I cannot believe it.. the wrong key.. OH moe Gosh.. I want it.. Give it to me.. give it to me.. I need Your Heart.. I want it right now.. I want it.. Your Heart.. My Two hands on the side of the Glass Jar.. I am trying to Move it around.. trying to Shake.. my Two hands are pushing.. hands trying to shake it around.. I need It.. I want it.. I got to have Your Heart.. if YOU can speak through Your Heart and tell me Where.. I want to Know.. me two legs jumps.. Up and down.. I want the key.. because I want it.. Give it to me.. so that I can tell Your Heart everything I feel.. tell YOU I love YOU.. I was so close.. Now I pull away.. I look Up.. My Heart.. Why don't you come Down.. MY Heart looks over.. I found another Key UP here.. I hear the CLICK and WEEE YEEEE.. MY Heart looks over.. I have Unlocked.. I am screaming and Jumping UP and Down.. I am jumping UP and Down I WANT YOUR HEART.. NOW.. My Heart comes back.. I have a Bad News.. there is Another Lock.. BOTH Keys do Not work on this Locked.. I stop jumping.. OH MOE.. I look straight.. WHAT Kind of Heart is this.. I want to Love YOU.. I want to tell YOUR HEART.. I love YOU.. why are you keep on doing this to Me.. WHY Hurt me in so much Pain.. WHY are you hurting MY HEART.. I am not a stranger.. I want to Be Your Lover.. I am sitting Down.. Me two hands touches the Glass Jar.. Me Heart is sitting next to me.. Looks at me.. I love the Heart.. Can YOU please be Mine and That these arms who is wrapping around YOU will NOT let you ever Go.. that YOU can be forever Mine.. Can I tell YOU.. HOW much I miss YOU and that I need YOU.. that NOW.. I am starting to Love YOU.. Can I tell Your Heart if I can come In.. that I can be a part.. that I can tell Your heart.. I love YOUR heart.. NOW.. I grab the Bottle.. Open me Mouth wide.. and CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG.. Place the bottle Down.. looking at your Picture.. WHY are you so Beautiful.. How come YOU have to be So beautiful that I feel this Missing and the aching.. WHY put such a Pain In my heart.. I feel like ME heart is bleeding.. Inside.. I feel like I want to Die.. If I die.. I may not feel this kind of Love and pain.. I start to feel one Drop.. two Drops.. and three drops.. Four drops.. Five.. I feel it coming down from the Two eyes of Mine.. The Arm wipes My tears in my eyes.. WHY do you make me Cry.. I want this Love.. I want Your Love.. I want this Love.. I can't stop loving YOU.. Asking and talking to your picture.. I know that Your Big Heart can hear me.. because I am not on the Other side of the world.. same park.. I am standing by the Tree.. which Your Big Heart is located but only the difference is I am on the ground.. Your Big Heart is sitting on the TOP.. the highest Branch of the tree.. I want Your Big Heart.. Help me how to get to Your Big Heart.. I been standing here.. waiting and waiting.. I been also in my room.. By the window.. LOOKING at the MOON.. and I would be asking that MOON.. some way some How give me a sign to Your Big Heart.. as I am standing by the Tree.. I am looking Up.. my arms opened wide.. I see the MOON when I turn around.. but I am facing the Tree instead.. My arms are opened for YOU.. can Your Big Heart see me.. even though I may be on the ground.. I am asking Your Big Heart.. my arms are open wide for YOU.. My arms is ready to catch Your Big Heart.. ready to fold IN and Hold your big Heart tight and I want to tell Your Big Heart.. How much I missed YOU.. I been missing Your Big Heart.. too tell Your Heart.. I want to listen to your Heart and to Love Your Heart.. can I please love Your Heart forever.. I needs to ask YOU.. can I please love Your Heart.. your Big Heart tonight.. as I turn away.. and I look up.. I see the Moon.. I would ask the Moon.. If the MOON is listening to my voice.. would you please tell me if an Angel are real.. if an Angel is real.. can YOU Please an Angel.. Tell the angel someone needs Your Help tonight.. I want to borrow two wings Please.. I need two wings.. just for tonight.. if I can borrow the two wings.. I will give it right back.. I need the two wings so that I can fly UP and I will sit next to Your Big Heart and all I want to tell Your Big Heart.. how much I love YOU.. that I never stopped loving YOU.. Not a minute goes by.. every day and every night I be thinking of YOU.. of How can I get close to Your Big Heart just to tell Your Heart.. loving YOU makes my Heart to come alive and to say.. thank YOU because I love YOU.. I am looking for something.. I look at the Glass Jar.. I have set in on the floor.. I been asking YOU that I need your Heart.. as I would wait.. there is no answer on the other side.. so I know that I must keep waiting.. as I am holding the Glass jar.. which it changes to a new place.. I was in the room.. but I decided to walk Out.. and I been looking back.. thinking back when I was at my Room.. sitting on the floor.. looking through the Glass jar.. which was empty.. Now I must walk off.. I am now sitting Out side.. sitting by the shore.. I just love the waters.. I would drive alone.. and come to this One spot.. where I am able to get Out of the Car.. and I am able to sit.. this One Lake.. and I would watch the waters.. so Peaceful and Nice out.. I would always bring a Bottle.. and with me is the Shot Glass next to the Bottle.. and I would sit still.. I would be looking at your Picture.. makes me think more of you when I am by the Lake.. of course I know that I am not going to find you near..