WITCHES, WIZARDS & BAD PUPPETS
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- čas přidán 20. 06. 2021
- On this episode of Weird Movies With Mark, I talk about War of the Wizards
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Credits Music by: OVERWERK - Komedie
The word "to" is getting more and more emphasis with every new video 😂
Lol I know and I love it
He’s going to need a megaphone for the *TO* part eventually.
It's a fox. The Japanese believed that foxes were spirits. I don't remember everything but I thought you might find it interesting and look into it. Wait.. You might have just called her flower fox.
@@mikehipps1015 Wat?
@@StefanReich I'm not sure why that comment is there. It was meant to be my own post. Might have been a bit drunk when I wrote it.
Eventually it will be powerful enough TO destroy cities..
I like how the movie establishes the protagonist as an avid reader that immediately pushes aside the bamboo book in favor of a bowl.
He just liked picture books.
@@kungfew1396 He had already read all the books.
@@howsitvingoing2048 Sounds like a cover up actually.
Because there was no words on the bamboo...they appear and disappear just like in the movie.There was nothing to read when he looked at it underwater.
@@SlapChop1000 for all we know it could just be a bamboo mat
Deadly Chopsticks is an S tier character who didnt have nearly enough character development
Yes. Deadly Chopsticks is the first person I've heard deliver a threat fitting of an ASMR video.
We need a movie where progressively stronger and more bizarre bad guys kill each other in order to get to the hero, who spends the whole movie just sitting there, doing nothing but waiting for the movie to end.
No… we do NOT need that movie lol. Just think about a two hour run time with nothing but that sequence.. hilarious in theory… mind numbing in practice…
That would make a brilliant funny or die short though for sure
@@citizensguard3433 that's the idea. It's for the viewer to suffer.
Reminds me of a movie called Mad Dog Time where a mob boss (who doesn't show up until the end of the movie) pretends to be crazy in order to get all his enemies to kill each other to be the "new" boss.
Id watch that
@@citizensguard3433 Well you could do it like as the bad guys get stronger, the process of them getting killed becomes more elaborate as well.
This movie seems really charming, and it looks like they had a lot of fun making it
This is a weird movie made by a Japanese director and a Hong Kong director working in the Taiwanese film industry. Its subject is old-time Chinese stories of magic and legendary creatures, which is already an oddball topic. But ambitious. You can't deny they really went for... something, here. The film poster (by Peruvian-American oil painter Boris Vallejo) is right. This is an ambitious fantasy film.
I'm not an expert, but I can say that lot of these story turns are really common tropes in old-time Chinese stories of the fantastic. Foxes become beautiful women to love or trick mortal men, and clever guys can find magic objects to luck into riches and therefore trouble, etc.
In stories that use this framework, people also bump into old scholars who are wizards and soothsayers like, all the time. So it's like this movie just said "Yeah, we're going all in on that. Wizards out the wazoo. These Taoist fortune tellers? Also wizards. The greedy foxes' mom? Wizards. The would-be scholar dreamer? He bumped into wizards so many times now he's a wizard, too. It's practically Star Wars. Come pay money to see our movie like people paid to see Star Wars! You can tell your kids this was Star Wars."
Excellent comment. Thanks for the perspective.
I love old myth and legends, and this gave me heavy folk legend feels. Like something out of 1001 Nights or Journey to the West
Kind of reminds me of A Chinese Ghost Story. I love that flick (or trilogy, actually) and all of it's supernatural wackiness.
You could take them to a burned out building and say Star Wars burned down!
Boom, another wizard!
We need a Flowerfox and Queen Amidala crossover movie where they keep one upping each other with more ludicrously elaborate hairstyles.
And a simp Jedi who is slowly falling to the dark side and can’t choose which girl he wants
Might as well through Marie Antoinette in there for ludicrous hairs styles cross over movie lol
On a side note, Richard Kiel was a superb person in real life. Very kind and caring. Also, extremely funny. Very quick and dry humor. Look up some interviews with him.
"I better go home and clean this bowl". Ah yes, a typical night for me.
Ends up in a river naked, you'd have to ask yourself did somebody slip something in my tea and all this was just a bad trip.
I got to admit the "Warm Sock Wish" made me burst laughing
I'm just saying, this is one of the movies on the show that doesn't look THAT bad...
One of the few channels on CZcams where saying a movie isn't that bad is actually a compliment.
What I was going to say. Aside from the low budget, it looks like a fun fantasy movie.
@@floraposteschild4184 like I might even legit unironically watch it...
Same here. Like this movie would probably pop up on Chicago TV's Samurai Sunday back in the day. In fact, I recognize a few Hong Kong and Taiwanese stuntmen prominent in many an independent Kung Fu movie of the late 70s and early 80s. This is pretty much my cup of tea.
I am Deadly Chopsticks!
“I’m not even mad. Just disappointed.” Dang it Mark! Not while I’m drinking! 🤣
A lot of this stuff makes sense if you understand Chinese cinema. That paper is like spell scrolls, and Chinese cinema tends to make it's magic effects bigger.
That 900yr fruit is from ancient Chinese mythology and it gives eater immortality. If you live long enough to get one
So the main character is immortal now? I guess he didn't go completely empty-handed at the end after all.
I don’t know what but the “Go-Go Gadget Arm” joke made me lose it
That one killed me too.
When I was little back in the 90s, a friend of mine at school narrated a Chinese film he had watched. At the time I thought he was making parts of it up, as kids tend to do sometimes. Now, more than 20 years later, I realise this was the film he was telling me about! And to think I doubted... yeah I've forgotten his name. But thanks for clearing this up Mark!!
Was his name Michael?
@@keangly8325 Nope, his name had more syllables!
That’s awesome!
You have amazing memory
Don't worry it's not racist I had an Asian friend when I was growing up.
21:53 That's Flower Fox's true form. It's showing that she's not actually a human, she's a Huli jing, a Shapeshifting Fox Spirit.
It's even in the name.
"Wolf, jackal?"
Fox. Foxes are trixters who can take human form in some Asian mythology.
*"I Deadly Chopsticks....have been defeated."*
Hah your chopsticks are too fake
@@Slayer-88 I read this in a bad English dub voice.
THAT'S a Phoenix?!?
More like a colorized version of 'The Giant Claw!'
Mark is getting funnier and funnier I swear
This sort of weirdness is not uncommon for 1970s/80s Chinese movies
That is what makes many of them so much fun to watch!
That chopstick bloke needs his own movie!!! :D
this looks like a Taiwan production. Some of them are prominent actors/actresses in the 70s. Back then Shaw Brothers HK produced more elaborately choreographed sword fighting flicks, so this might be one that ride on the trend then to squeeze in some movie goers' spendings. Back in the 70s asian cinemas were packed with audiences. But at that time, Taiwan is more famous in churning out romantic flicks helmed by the 2 Chins and 2 Lings (incidentally one of the Ling became Jackie Chan's wife till today). But to be fair, Taiwan did produce some excellent kung fu flicks like burning of the shaolin temple, the crippled masters etc.
just to add on :
1. sword fighting scenes in chinese tavern involving killer chopsticks were quite common and cheaper to make. Shaw Brothers movies usually have better fight scenes where sword fightings were more engaging with lots of leaping and jumping (qing gong) around too.
2. those signs were actually talisman. They are meant to fend off evil spirits, demons or even chinese vampires. Very commonly used in chinese vampires movies popular in the 80s.
3. some of the scenes were references to journey to the west like the size-changing oriental fan, the fox demons masquerading usually as pretty ladies, the peaches of immortality, demons once repent were summoned to the heavens etc.
@@tonychai5147 That’s really interesting. I admit I know nothing about ‘70s-‘80s cinema from Taiwan. Thanks for giving some backstory to the movie as well as explaining some of the references used.
I was just thinking that it might be one of those trend following films trying to cash in on Shaw's success. Didn't think it would be a Taiwanese film though! Gotta love the movie business of the 60s and 70s.
The Hong Kong Movie Database lists it as a Hong Kong film, but IMDB lists as a Taiwanese movie that was filmed in Hong Kong.
Oddly HKMDB says that the movie was made in 1980, while IMDB says that the movie was made in 1978, but not released until 1983. One site lists two directors, while the other lists one director. So, that's pretty confusing.
And, by the way, I agree, it really, does look like a Taiwanese movie. They always did have a fairly distinct look to them.
Another Taiwanese production that gets credited to Hong Kong from the same period is _The Story of Chinese Gods_ AKA _Feng Shen Bang._ Like Ralph Bakshi's _The Lord of the Rings, Chinese Gods_ is an animated attempt to adapt a _gigantic_ literary work into a ninety-minute film. For those who don't know Asian mythology it's an hour and thirty minutes of pure WTF and for those who DO know a bit of lore it's still a huge mess. I love it. Brandon Tenold and Animation Pilgrimage have posted reviews of it, anyone who wants a peek should check 'em out.
When you were talking about the possibilities of making things smaller or bigger I did think of something different. If you have a woodstove you could just pick up a bunch of twigs and small sticks then make them big enough for firewood. No chopping down trees, cutting them them and having to split the big logs into firewood.
Man I'd just make myself taller.
I'll reach those shelves, yet!
If he wants to stay rich. He better leave them hoochies alone.
Hoochies 🤣🤣🤣🤣
"I ain't saying she a gold digger...."
@@actionjackson4982 yoooo who knew seeing the word hoochies after i unno how many decades would make me smile so!
Bravo, Mark. Lots of laugh-out-loud moments in this one. Loved the 8Ball gag.
"Where did you think I was gonna go with that joke?"
That's the moment I smashed the like button xD
Maybe they need to start having telethons about the deadliness of chopsticks. Maybe we can get rid of DCS( Deadly Chopstick Syndrome). Within our lifetime.
It's no joke, my brother has Chronic DCS. He was attacked by a rogue sect of shaolin monks whilst backpacking through China. Has a chopstick lodged in the right side of his skull. Doctors say if they remove it he'll die. Anyway so now he has to be really careful when going around corners.
@@purplehz97 If you think that's bad, I won't even mention where my brother chopsticks are lodged. Let's just say he'll need one of those donut cushions for the rest of his life!
Completely impractical for soup anyway! What a unnecessary scourge on society.
That's nothing compared to Severe Spork injuries. Many of my fingernails have fallen victim to sporks.
At the end I thought he was gonna go
"so I guess you are benefitting from my misery...like the whole purpose of this show"
Used to watch these kinds of movies on the USA Network back in the 80s. On Kung Fu Theater.
Timed this nicely. The chopstick throwing assassin sounded exactly like one of the Mooninites from Aqua Team Hunger Force.
Fitting, because the first time I saw this reviewed online was by Brad Jones ("The Cinema Snob") a decade ago.
I think the animal overlays are to establish the women were fox spirits
I love the realism in this movie, not one character had any morals to adhere to.
9:33 not signs, they are talisman to attack/defense againt evil, it's very popular in chinese culture.
i think this movie very funny, and with Mark's comment and narrative, it's make me laughed alots xD
Killer Palm has Hands of Fate just like Manos. Fat lot of good it did him.
Imagine if killer palm were to sit alone in his room with a sock and….
….
……put the sock on his foot, before putting on some shoes… would his palm kill his sock?
Yeah, I stole Mark’s “thought I was gonna say something dirty didn’t ya?” bit. Sue me lol
@@citizensguard3433 I did think that. You got me lol.
Killer Palm missed his true calling.
" I'm not mad, just disappointed" .. someone seems ready to raise kids! :D
What do you mean? He’s already raising us.
"Probably not strong enough to break out of that friend zone huh?"
Savage Mark is savage!
You are a Deus Ex Machina for my procrastination.
Actually pretty entertaining movie. Nice acting and costumes. Special effects look authentically to the time. Strange plot, mostly likely based on couple folk fairy tales. I think this one deserves a seal of approval.
🦭
06:12 *Deadly Chopsticks, money is my game. I'm all about that paper, bitches, noodles and fame*
5:32 I like how each Villain just keeps killing each other after giving their dialog, one after the next. 😂👍
The magic 8 ball: all your expressions through it how happy you were when it said yes lol!
Mark, your deadpan face at 8:46-9:01.... glorious! Couldn't stop laughing. These little moments keep me coming back. Good shit.
Doing great with the jokes Mark! Thanks for the warm sock!
It looked like the whole thing was the inspiration for The Never Ending Story...the entire magical part of the story was the book he was reading the whole time! I don't know why he stripped naked and jumped in the water when the story was done, though. That's weird. Unless he got wrapped up in the book and decided it was time for a paperback and a bath.
Much love to you, mark. Thanks for posting this it always makes my day
The part where the assassins kept getting bumped off by more interesting ways of bumping people off was reminiscent of Bruce Willis' character in "Pulp Fiction" as he kept finding better weapons to dispatch the kidnappers who had intended to rape him.
Deadly Chopsticks is the first person I've heard deliver a threat fitting of an ASMR video.
There's another really bizarre Chinese cinema movie I once watched called "Child Of Peach." Here's part of a critic's review: "Just when you think you have it figured out, the soundtrack belts out a synth version of the Adams Family theme music or someone has to fight a life size marionette made of giant peaches that shoots urine out from its navel."It's truly insane. Look it up!
This movie looks awesome. I love the part where the sizes of things change constantly at 12:49
Mark touched on a very important regarding hiding your valuables in plain sight, as per the example of the magic bowl under the false flowers. I once had, I mean a friend had one of those diversion or disguised safes that looked just like everyday items, such as a can of soda or hairspray. Well this frIend had one that looked just like wd-40, because "who is ever going to think to look for the, ahem... 'valuables' in a spray can of wd-40, right? But the problem was not the thieves but everybody else! For example my neighbor, I mean my friends neighbor would always want to borrow the wd-40, or his wife wanted him to use the wd-40, or friends would come over to his garage and pick it up just to exclaim "wow, does it really do everything it claims"? So much so, that my friend got another can of real wd-40 but that only made things weirder because the neighbor would say "I don't wanna use up all the brand new can, shouldn't I just use the older one?" The wife said "why do ya have 2 cans? You're acting strange." AND his friend said "this new can doesn't have the straw built-in to the nozzle, and the detachable straw keeps falling out. Why can't I just use the other can?" It caused too much anxiety, or maybe it was because of what my friend stored in that safe, so he stopped using it and tried to sell the safe on Craigslist (remember that fun?) but he had to answer questions like "does the wd-40 really spray out? Are you selling any safes that don't look like the most useful thing in the house? And even, "that's a dumb place to put stuff!"
So the moral of that story is "don't do drugs". That's what my friend said. What was this movie about?
You know that Bobs Burgers episode that has the family trying to dub a film? I’m getting those vibes here. It all makes so much more sense in the original translation or the original language. And yet, the heart is still felt. I feel like the laughs still land where they were intended and you can feel the love. It’s beautiful really. Getting choked up here. Need my fan to hide behind…
The actual name of the movie in Chinese is Wu zi tian shi meaning “The Phoenix “
Do you know the Chinese characters for the title? I translate The Phoenix into Mandarin and it doesn't match "wu zi tian shi"
@@schmoo3309 Or much precisely: The Heavenly Wizards of Five Youths.
Glad we’re all in agreement
I literally had to ball out laughing for like 5 minutes, at the fact the Deadly Chop Sticks was killed by a deadlier opponent.
"Let's take a nap first!" - that's the right job for me. I can also paint signs on paper, so where do I submit my application?
If a beautiful Asian woman dressed like this asked me if I’d like to brush her hair, I could sit here all day and say I’d tell her no, Ya boy here ain’t no Simp son…
But in reality? I’d be like “let’s get those knots out, girl… I hope I’m not brushing too hard?” Lol sad but true.
Well if you're in Japan, you better hope she's not the misandrous spirit of a long dead domestic abuse victim looking to snap your neck while you brush her hair
Rittik Battacharya 😱😱
Mark you can thank me later:
1. Grab a glass and fill it with rice (basmati or preboiled rice recommended)
2. Grab a pot, put in the stove on high with a soup spoon of olive oil
3. Throw the rice in there, fry it for some minutes while stiring until it's translucid
4. Fill the same glass with fresh water and throw in the pot (repeat 2x. two portions of water for one portion of rice)
5. add some salt (do not stir)
6. When the water starts boiling bring the fire down a bit (do not stir)
7. keep bringing the fire down, until the water completely evaporates (do not stir)
8. when the water is completely evaporated, take it out of the stove, put it in some other recipient and let it dry a bit
9. you are done
note: do not stir the rice with the water. ever.
let me know how it went :D
Mark, minute rice is almost as disgusting as bagged pre-cooked rice! Don’t do that to yourself anymore, please!!!
@@carlkermode899 Yup. That's a winner right there.
How about don't eat rice. High in arsenic, carb heavy, no fiber, no nutrition, high glycemic index, type 2 diabetes. Just no.
@@99knives sad life you live
@@scarface5857 what a low IQ response
“Trying to be all smart and fancy and shit.” Good one, Mark...you crack me up every time.
He didn't end with anything. I mean he has a restaurant in his tsunami stricken village, he could open up again , and because every other business-owner has been swept away, he would have no competition. No patrons either, but .. it's a start.
Forrest Gump did it with one boat.
Maybe he still has the experience of battle of wits with wizards? And his Magic Bowl?
"Hardcore oven mitts", I lost it there
Mark, this may be your best writing, yet. You keep growing. Pleasure to be in your camp.
Been going thru your videos… love your stuff… this was even funnier than per usual… kudos!
I believe in the *Prohecy of 1 million subs for FanboyFlicks*
and that "dive" tho, got to hurt haha
Always look forward to your vids, love em!
this channel is way underrated! So funny! I love it.
Nothing better than coming home from work and seeing a new upload!
Stumbled upon this channel a few days ago and been binge watching every video since!
Man! I was just getting into Deadly Chopsticks’ vibe. Then he’s DEAD!
I've been with you for a long time my dude. Glad you've been posting more regularly!
You definitely deserve 1million subscribers, Mark. Keep up the great work 👍
Just came here from your Mac & Me video, from 2014. Great to see how you've grown since then.
The funny thing that this movie used to air on iraqi tv for kids for YEARS during the 80s lol, i still remember some of the scense from it, especially the scenes where the witch walks on water and when she blows air and knocking people around
Absolutely love your videos man
Thanks for the new video, I really enjoy your works.
The trick to rice is bring the water to a boil, add the rice, give it a stir to make it level, and then leave it alone. Rice cooks from the top down so if you stir it while it is cooking you're mixing cooked and uncooked rice. When you think it might be done use a butter knife to pull the rice away from the side of the pot just far enough to peak down at the bottom and see if all the water is gone. If there's still water gently tap the rice back into place. If the water is gone you're done.
The fact that Mark still hasn't reached 1 million subscribers is criminal.
Seems like he has been in the 200k range for 5+ years
Love your videos and humour dude! Thanks!
That bowl is a Chinese sampo!
Welcome back *TO* the show!!
Mark, thank you so much for taking a look at some of these classic martial arts films. They are my favorite weird movies❤ I shared my favourite with you on Twitter hope you like it.
I would LOVE to see a movie that is 100% dubbed by Mark!!!
Mark has so many Dad-isms in this episode.
Doa of Dad
Oh yes new video keep it up Mark the greatness that is Weird movies with our homie Mark.
I’m gonna address the elephant in the room and ask Mark if he knows his logo looks sort of like the tardis from a glance?
For the "You have three days!!" plothole, why did they not just give her a spell that takes three days to complete?
They could have made the result of the spell really scary and painful as well as 100% fatal. But if he were to come out of his own before then, she would sparw him such a fate and just make him her slave or something instead for ever daring to run.
That would have actually put a timer on our protagonist and made the situation tense. It would also explain why she did not use any of her stronger powers on him during the chase. She needs time and consentration to fire them up.
....
Aside from that, I just wanna know what the rules for this bowl is.
Can you only wish for things that would fit inside of it, or is the sky the limit? And if you can wish for stuff larger than the bowl, how will it appear in the real world?
Like, lets say he wished for a horse.
Would the horse just leap out in a shower of sparkles and magic, being all magestic and ready to go?
Or would they slowly and paunfully be squeased out of the bowl like a birthcanal of steel, screaming in agony and terror as their body is crushed and mangled by the stiff metal, finally ending up on the floor a horrid fleshsack consisting of crushed up muscles, bones, and organs, only stopping their twitching and howling as the hero ends the poor things suffering with a dagger through the eye?
I really would like to know.
Director "Sam Arikawa" was in fact Sadamasa Arikawa, who worked on Godzilla movies under Eiji Tsuburaya and ultimately succeeded him as effects director for _Son of Godzilla, Destroy All Monsters_ and _Space Amoeba._ He also directed and/or supervised FX for _Mighty Peking Man_ and the 1978 series _Monkey._ This film would be his last effects-supervisor job and the only film he directed.
Space Amoeba???
@@annebruecks7381 AKA _Yog, Monster from Space_ (1970). Evil space blob invades a tiny Pacific island and turns a cuttlefish, crab and turtle into rampaging monsters. Best known for the big-eyed monster cuttlefish, Gezora, walking upright on its tentacles as it goes about its business.
@@ScreamingScallop Wow!!!
Your videos make me so happy.
Man i love your channel: thanks for the laughs
Love- it so much Mark ! at 8;40 about having morals.
Mark deserves more than a million subscribers!
Not sure how I missed this channel, so glad that I came across it! Let the binging commence in 3..2..1....
Officially subbed after this one homie!
Your best work yet. Vape Queen? Fantastic!
I like how you grind, and you're always on time
Mate your videos make me laugh everyday keep up the good work .
Mark, I really like where you're going with the whole hunger, sandwich solution. But I'm thinking? Create a Human sized soft shell, blue crab, that's my personal favorite. Or or King,Snow, Stone etc. Why as big as a human? So I can battle it of course! Can you imagine winning that duel?! would need to increase the size of a stick of butter afterwards too. Maybe a lemon and a garlic clove as well
Another great vid. Thanks for the effort.
Another great vid. Thanks for the effort.
This is your best one so far.