Jaredverse Season 1 (all episodes) mega compilation - anthony sistilli - tiktok - corporate memes
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- čas přidán 29. 08. 2024
- This is a mega complilation of corporate memes - specifically the ones including Jared and his lore. I created these videos for my Insta / Tiktok. If you're looking for a larger compilation with more non-Jared specific videos, you can find that here: • Corporate memes (Devs ...
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Jared is us only if we let our intrusive thoughts win.
Nothing intrusive about it.
HR Management Bulldrama only takes over cuz people dont speak up.
Dont let Jesus take the wheel. ,lmao.
Jared is me; except I'm real and actually do that
Same here, those are no intrusive thoughts, those are reality plain and simple
@@Sky125 im hitting doubt, pretty hard here man.
@@qltGaming no doubts here, exactly what I did in my last job :p I dont stand up for shit
Jared is the senior dev hero everyone needs 😁
Jared is a hybrid of the two TLs in my team.
"we're an AGILE team, there are processes and systems you have to follow"
lol
The MVP one is funny to me cuz I always used it as minimal viable product, so Cindy was like the minimally viable PM
that's actually hilarious
I love how only the word Jira has been misspelled and differently each time lol
Broooo this was so painful to watch 😂😂😢
My old team had a Jared. He said and did whatever he wanted and no one said shit to him because he built a large part of the codebase. Lmao
We can only be Jared if we are the best at what we do.
then assimilate all the inspiration 😛
Meetings like this are one of the reasons why I chose to retire early. Until I discovered these videos a short while ago, I’d managed to excise the hell of Jira, Pivitol and unproductive stand-up calls, from my mind.
Into the jaredverse
BYE CINDY 🎉
I AM Jared.
All Jared leave your Jira tickets below
Ive worked in IT and i adore this. I was so close to becoming a project manager.
I'm so happy I didn't end up corrupting my soul to do this.
Wise move. I was pushed into it after we outsourced our technical staff and it definitely was the wrong career path for me.
Jared sounds like a great manager tbh
Now THIS is how you listen to customer feedback! Thanks for adding the full versions mate! Love this saga! Can't wait for the next one.
Just don't forget to mark your Jira ticket of uploading this video to "Complete".
It was 5 story points so I'll wait a couple of days before marking it as complete ;)
@@AnthonySistilliwow! A full 5 story points in less than a day after Cindy was let go. Immediate impact!
Good lad! Don't let the new PM know you're this fast right off the bat ;)
For those wondering why Agile teams use "story points" and not "days", it's because they are not a unit of _time_ but a unit of _complexity_
They transate to time when the task is assigned, proportionally to the assignee's velocity.
Tasks are evaluated in terms of story points _before_ they're assigned, and depending on their SP value they could get assigned to one member or another. It's a false equivalence to think 1 SP = 1 fixed amount of time, so e.g. if 5 SP translate to 5 days for Alice, they might translate to 30 days or *Infinify* days for Bob because he's a junior dev that simply can't tackle tasks that complex.
It's not a perfect system _at all_ IMO, as many teams just appoints a fixed amount of "workable" story points per sprint, while things are way more nuanced. So flatly applying what you've learnt in your "Agile Scrum Master Advanced Proactive Course" might just not cut it, and needs to be adapted. After all, adaptation is the core of the Agile manifesto.
Alternative: write better jira tickets with better descriptions and let people assign themselves which tasks they are capable of completing.
When people read those tickets they will value if they might have the level required to do such tasks.
I've read a ton of "wordsaladish" books, but even hardcore philosophy can't compete with agile word salad. :D
@KnowThings101 A story point refers to how complicated the task is (1 Sp=making a sandwich, 1 million sp= building a nuclear reactor). They are then put to time in sprints (a day) and every sprint has a number of story points that can be completed per day (you can do less if what you do is complex). Imo, agile is a poor methodology for completing tasks as it is the definition of shifting goalposts.
So it's a way to disrespect juniors... sounds fun to me. So one sp always translates to infinite as soon as you give it to Cindy😂😂😂😂
@@ForChiddlers It is not disrespectful to say that a junior can do less than a senior developer. It would be disrespectful to say that the junior can never develop skills to the point of being as good as a senior.
I guess I already watched everything on Instagram but it nice watching it again all at once
Jared !!! 😂😂😂. Waiting for season 2 🙏🙏🙏
Jared is my hero 😂 I love this saga
Epiccc!! Getting "The IT Crowd" Chills :P
I took Jared's role.
I mock the HR whenever given the chance, as well as the PMs
Get to work and twork
Videos like this make me even more glad I switched from being a programmer to theatre tech.
The significant paycut was worth it for my sanity
I’m 100% all of this business jargon was created by people who never worked in any industry, to train people who have never worked in industry, creating a need to train more people in the jargon (they own those companies), which then bogs down the whole system, creating a “need” for more training and certifications. It all works because CEOs and board members rightly love to see a certification and high speed lingo, only to not realize that such conversation is entirely unhelpful. Seriously, why translate a time estimate to some arbitrary value like story points or t-shirt sizes for any reason other than to shun those that didn’t pay to learn them? Even if you can’t talk in time estimates due to differently performing employees, you can just call it easy, medium, hard. Level 1,2,3,etc.. literally any method to describe the difficulty of a task that a common person will understand without weird jargon.
What's even more ironic is that when you take your Agile training, you suddenly realize that all they talk about is how to handle JavaScript projects and the whole training revolves around that. When you mention this, all you get are blank stares.
As a security professional, I often have to tell the Jareds and Cindys that I don't care care about their tickets, sprint, or story points. From my perspective I often need them to fix vulns before any other work continues. Would love to see the developers perspective on how the security process plays out as I do feel guilty telling people to drop everything
As BOTG, stop putting 600 machines into the same ticket. On a similar note, stop listing the same machine 6 different times for each individual vulnerability, in the same ticket.
Or, and hear me out here... how about creating a CSV file of all machines subject to an individual vulnerability and attach that to the ticket, so we can just adapt a PS script to push the fix out and not have to spend an hour or so sorting out the systems and their fixes.
Obviously, if you already do this for your team, you are a gem amongst security professionals.
To be fair to the Jareds, they don't care about any of that, either.
The secret is the Jared’s of the world have at least four people like you trying to prioritize around their backlog. Security, Legal, Planning, Compliance, Audit, etc. It is pretty shocking how long it can take to close a gap given how under resourced and outsourced most dev teams at large companies are.
pure gold!!!!
You need to let jared speak up instead of telling him, now is not the time. Unleash the Jared within you.
This stuff is golden😂😂😂😂😂
Jared is my spirit animal.
I've been Jared once, highlight of my professional life, even a decade later 😂
tell us more and give more ideas for more episodes !
Yup i need grumpy jared asmr 😂
I used to work with a Jared, he was brilliant to work with
Jared is my spirit animal
I love the attention to detail. PMs truly have no comphension of time zones.
Anthony, where did you get the inspiration for these shorts? I can't stop thinking in Jared's voice during work meetings.
Jared is fighting the good fight.
i just love these
Nothing has been worse for productivity than the invention of Agile.
I love that Cindy has this annoying voice and is always sooo upbeat 😂 grrr
That end of season 1 cliffhanger!
12:09 jared was super smart to become a shareholder. Especially doing all that work. Poor anthony needs a piece too.
i love this shit so much
Jared is the greybeard backend guy they’ve tried to fire 3 times and ended up rehiring at twice the salary each time because he does the work of 5 senior devs and is the only one who understands half the critical paths in the code, including the ones important for compliance.
Jared can use the CEOs new trampoline if Jared wants to.
I like Jared and want someone like him at work, cool guy and i think, as junior developer, can learn much from him.
They were so close to giving am actual use for story points i.e to use it for when you have to compare tasks that you dont actually know how long they will take time wise but you know A will take longer than B
Loved it
Hey man, you do great videos!
Do you need a voice of another character? He might have a slight (or hard) Russian accent.
It's not about money, I just like your videos.
I'm a pro with my mic 🙂 as well as a developer.
He's using ai generated voices
@@jakubgrzybek6181 oh, I thought they were real :D
Hey, I'd volunteer too !
I love Jared❤❤❤
this is gold
I need a Jira ticket to understand hard hard this hits.
Someone please make this into a show
Well you can watch the movie Office Space and you'll get something close to it.😂
11:48 dude always wakes up and chooses verbal violence, but this he chose verbal nuclear warfare 😂
Jared is my new role model. In my head only, but still.
Getting kinda dangerous with these headphones on. Jared sounds like asmr 😂
These are hysterical. Jared is the perfect character for when us devs don't care and have a f-u money fund. I know its shorts, but Jared really should have got signed paperwork for being a shareholder before doing anything with the website. haha
Would be epic if you can do something with sys admin day :)
Love Jared
i still remember the first time i was confronted with "story points" ... i never asked what they were, so i decided: 1 = half a day, 3 = until next day's lunch, 5 = 2 days, and so on.
So, after years of this bs, i still give points based on that scale, no matter what.
Jared is a beast man 😂
Jared is my spirit animal 🦁
Jared is the man
ChatGPT therapist sounds depressing af, but if you're broke, give it a go i guess 😂
4:54 im confused thought she started talking in dinosaur 😂
The reason you dont use days is because developers are terrible at estimating. It also helps stop management saying "you think it will take 14 says, but i think it will be 4 days".
I'm invested
how many shares ? enough for a seat on the board ?
Fun fact
I hate giving fun facts about myself.
Another fun fact I despise pointless meetings
I hate pointless buzzwords
Jared became invincible
2:22 i would just be making a comment being like,"dang, why yall kick out cuz craig like that then?"
Jared!!!!
I just created jira ticket to watch this video. But I need one more to like it😂
I don’t understand one thing about these videos. You use ai generated voices and that’s fine. But you also use ai generated subtitles and that’s not fine, they’re incorrect like half the time. Simply use the subtitles you wrote yourself as input for the voice ai
Jared is my dawg
I have a PM who is literally Cindy.
Gold!
I don’t work in tech. Is this how it is? Hahah
Now you know why people in tech have high salaries.
well... if you're lucky.
Yes and no depends on the how bad that company's corporate stupidity.
But this hits close to home for some utter morons in management.
You dont NEED to use open AI for internal AI models. I've made tons of models in Python, and I dont even have a ML degree
But that'd be only 3 story points ...
"this WEEKS sprint" 😆
weeks come and go... fast...
Wonder how many sorry points this took to create?
Were there regular sprint reviews and retrospectives for this?
Got an estimate when season two drops?
Whats your spirit animal?
Jared
Guys why tf do you want to do your jobs waste some time on making weird story point estimates and making tickets actually work for like 1 hour and have fun everyone knows meetings are where your cam malfunctions and you just mute and play a mobile game while listening
Accurate AF. In fact imma head into all hands meeting and play some candy crush lmao
can you imagine? it takes 30 minutes everyday just to make everything pretty on jira board and time sheet
Jared is kinda my dad lmfao
How do you do all the voices ? Is it a text-to-speech ?
Jared is the Gilfoyl, the only legend.
Meetings should be just emails... most of them are a waste of time
so meetings are spam ? :-)
@@leyasep5919meetings are junk mail
Okay, but why call it "story points" instead of "difficulty"?
i feel sad for cindy
Watched the whole vedio and still don't know what the hell "Jira" is.
Jared gives Gilfoyle vibes.
The office but in tech
For some reason Jared reminds me of GLaDOS. Just human male version
great
These shorts hit home hard, the exact reason why I created my own web agency and tripled my income in the progress.
Shut up and let jared cook.
Where does Jared's voice come from?
from out there
Cindy likes to yap
My fun fact is that I hate icebreakers.
14 story points is not in the fibonacci sequence JARED do we have to talk to HR AGAIN?
Jared is my spirit animal