Dr. K and the joy of Passive Aggressive Therapy-Speak
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- čas přidán 21. 05. 2024
- We examine a somewhat uncomfortable exchange between Dr. K and his wife Kruti that highlights some of the less appealing usages of therapy speak. We also consider the age-old internet question of what you should do if you are concerned about being labelled a Beta Cuck by your audience.
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Unless there are multiple examples this is unfair.
Of course the 1st clips shows him as a twat narcissist but in the 2nd clip he jived with her humour in my opinion.
I'd be more forgiving in this situation and grant room for 'stupidity' more than guilt unless this is something seen repeatedly.
Does anyone agree or am I misjudging? 🤔
Yeah imo it just seems like Dr K got a little high on his own fumes there and really wanted to demonstrate "healthy communication" but he forced it in a real awkward way that didn't make sense. Hardly damning on it's own.
I agree with you.
The first clip seems uncomfortable to some because they don't actually have healthy communication skills, some will be uncomfortable because even though they have healthy communication it's not their style, and the rest will be uncomfortable because we're seeing what would normally be a private or semi-private conversation.
It's therapy speak because he's a therapist. The clips are from 4 years ago. She's an accomplished and intelligent person on her own, he's not attempting to assert dominance or manipulate. He's speaking to her in a calm and authentic way.
Now, I don't think he was correct in his assessment of the situation, but that's for the two of them to hash out.
For a channel called "decoding the gurus" they sure are acting like experts about this tiny glimpse into a complex relationship.
@@tommyleemeyer Sweep sweep sweep sweep sweep
Look out guys, I am a big fan of his streams but the DrK community is pretty cultish and drk himself is really smart and slippery. By helping a lot of streamers he has a lot of good will online. Don't get baited into clipbaiting him. he has a lot of good advice to say to people in really emotionally hard times and because of that he has incredibly loyal fanbase. I watch him for the interviews with streamers where you can learn a lot about someones background and it helps you humanise them. But he also pushes a lot of religion and questionable spiritual stuff. I would say that in 80%(made up number but it feels like in the most) of streams with streamers he ends up mentioning Hindu concepts as a potential solution to the problems people experience. I can't imagine people would be so ok with that if he was a Christian monk. But he can say eastern gurus knew more about the mind than west does and nobody blinks an eye.
such a dumb observation. sure the clip is odd but its out of context of a 4h stream which is live with tausends of people. and you giggle along but give zero explanation wy or how it should be handled, only giggles and we are doomed.. at least give some framework otherwise its just self flattering nonsense and drama farming...
"self flattering nonsense and drama farming" is the absolute perfect way to put it, thank you
So let's get this straight - there are dozens of hours of content with Dr. and Mrs. K together - and I would argue that their relationship comes across as very wholesome and loving in almost every context - no red flags whatsoever. But then you take the one or two clips which, for whatever reason (bad day, personal fuck-up, subjective relationship values..) comes across as odd - to do what exactly? Intuition pump the audience towards a negative view of Dr K.?I am sure Chris and Matthew never had a conversation with their significant other that would have came across as "weird", even agressive if judged from a 3rd person perspective, right? This criticism seems extremely petty. Precisely because of the reasons you so often criticise in others.
Dr K isnt gonna let you hit
@@daBuzzY90 3/10 made me chuckle
100% agree this is just witch hunting a good person for some youtube likes
Welcome to the real world, where your worst moments are seen and judged, and can’t be edited to make yourself look virtuous. Grow up, buddy.
He posted it publicly and people in the chat were using it as an example of great conflict resolution.
The anchoring you did at the beginning of the episode was super cute. “Did you hear about this Indian con man? Now let’s talk about this other Indian guy.” You guys sure know your stuff 😬
no need to append "indian", do they do this for their "white", "black" gurus that they decode?
can you timestamp where this happened?
@@animus355 there is a need to append it. You think it was a coincidence that both the people they were talking about were Indian in this video? Maybe look into anchoring so you know what you are actually talking about.
@@starchaser6024 on a second read, yeah it was a non issue my bad :)
@@starchaser6024 ugh you're a racist for thinking that - it didn't even occur to me
The first half of the clip Dr. K is definitely in his ego and being defensive in an immature way.
The second half of the clip however, you guys are absolutely reading into things. He is clearly joking
Nah he’s talking like a twelve year old to his wife and putting her on the spot
I see two passive agressive and jealous people and also dr. Thundercock with his wife.
My read on the wife interaction is that they are talking to a person having issues with his girlfriend and what Dr. K. does, in what felt like a sort of forced and artificial way, is showing a practical example of comunicacion within a couple, and how that could go about. Unfortunately it came out very ambiguous as all the controversy shows.
Ah. So that was meant to be intentional as a demonstration?
@@trollingisasport who knows! Maybe he was rly pissed off and decided to humiliate his wife. Be as it may, it was not a good look.
@@trollingisasport I think so, I've watched a good bit of Dr K, and he does this a lot. Whenever he's around someone who will "get it", he will do a little bit of demonstrating yet honest roleplay.
I saw absolutely nothing in either clip that looked unhealthy or toxic, this video is horrible!
Dr. K has hundreds of hours of content available on the internet, Isolating and analyzing this one interaction from 4 years ago after priming the audience with this other guy who appears to be a bit of a hack. I don't even know why you would bring him up other than to point out some similarities such as race and spent some time as a monk, then immediately introduce Dr. K as if he is similar feels entirely dishonest.
I will acknowledge I do like Dr. K, and I am biased to defend him, but this doesn't feel like an honest criticism.
I was a little weirded out about the first clip, and I think Dr. K's reaction was overblown, but we are missing some context. Maybe his wife had been dismissing some of his stories earlier in the stream. I don't know. I think all this shows is that he is human like the rest of us and overreacts. The second clip he seemed to let most of it go and have a little laugh at it.
"I know nothing about these people or the context, but I'm fairly certain..."
If anyone needed proof you guys are hacks, this was it.
“I know nothing about these people or the context, but I’m fairly certain.. both of them are humans.” 100% proof of hack. How can they be certain both of them are humans? They don’t even know them. Hack through and through.
I know nothing about these (Catholic) people or the context, but I'm fairly certain that transubstantiation is BS.
Am I a hack too?
@@RubenO.-tz5vv I bet that sounded really intelligent in your head
@@leep1667
I bet this counts as a counter in your head LOL
@@RubenO.-tz5vvYes. That's a false equivalence. A logically incoherent religious doctrine is not the same thing as a relationship between two people.
how is this passive agressive. Its an awkward moment, but he is being very direct in his communication. maybe a bit harsh on her that he asks her to ask permission before speaking, but god you guys are reaching with this one.
Imagine thinking you have to walk on eggshells so that you don’t offend your wife. He tells her how he feels, they talk through it. She is treated like an equal that can answer for herself instead of being handled with kid gloves.
Imagine having to walk on eggshells so that you don't offend your husband.
Imagine having a husband that talks like an LLM trained in psychology.
@@Randomlycreatedbyme someone being offended by something and calling it out every once in a hile isn't worthy of walking on eggshells
@@slothhq1929 It’s perfectly fair to criticize an interaction that the couple put on the web as an example of healthy communication. She was in no way disrespectful and yet she had to apologize because he felt insecure and, instead of processing his emotion, made it her responsibility.
@@Randomlycreatedbyme " It’s perfectly fair to criticize an interaction that the couple put on the web as an example of healthy communication. "
agreed.
"She was in no way disrespectful"
based on the clip, I would agree. But I would have to see the rest of the stream to know if there were previous small moments of disrespect happening. but I don't think there is anything wrong with addressing perceived disrespect even if the other person wasn't meaning to be disrespectful.
"yet she had to apologize"
she didn't HAVE to apologize. and in fact she never did apologize because that's not the point of communication. Dr K just shared his feelings and concerns and she listened. He even asked do you understand what I mean? she didn't want her to blindly say "ok" or "apologize". this is where someone can say "I don't understand what I did to be considered disrespectful" DR K then explains in more detail the specific action that he considered disrespectful.
this isn't a red flag or controlling. Its kind of the opposite. Good communication is often times uncomfortable. If you cant handle someone saying they are concomfotable with something then you are the one that's bad at communication.
sometimes like what may have happened in this case, people can be misinterpreting disrespect. communication can and should, still happen.
Very manipulative… maybe someone should do “decoding decoding the gurus”
lmao damn. that interaction reminded me of a mrgirl video
Who are these people? Everything they say is clearly just trying to bury Dr.K, this is quite manipulative. Maybe show the full context.
I've watched this section, and the full context, makes sense, she mocked him a little bot, and that person. She meant nothing by it, but he got offended, a very human response, and he addressed it without being annoying without shouting. And they felt better afterwards. Later on they even talk about this moment afterwards.
100%. I believed this clip initially, watched more of the DtG content, and saw some dishonest tactics. Then I thought, you know what, I should watch the full Dr. K. Clip in context. I did and I'm frankly angry about how dishonest this video is.
One of them is an associate professor of cognitive anthropology, and the other one is a professor of psychology iirc
I wish you would have explained how this is "weaponizing therapy", the main problem you guys seemed to have was that he asked her to request to interrupt him when he speaks which I think is a completely fair ask. Imagine every time you speak someone says "go ahead" I can envision that being very annoying.
you know, there's this thing called self awareness. People who aren't self aware tend to not be aware of themselves. It's like figuring out how a house looks from the inside. It's not possible. Wish you well, mate.
@@kiloub and people who are very stupid tend to respond with cryptic messages instead of actually engaging with my facts lol
@@kiloub you know, there's this thing called blue awareness. people who aren't blue aware tend not to be aware of blue. it's like figuring out how a subway looks from underground. it's not possible. wish you well, mate.
13:35 to me, it seemed like he wasn't saying he didn't care, he was saying that maybe that influenced how he perceived the situation
It's so funny how direct and honest communication trips up people who are not practicing it. Weird you're digging up a 5 year old clip, showing it very clipped, and giving the take that talking about your thoughts and feelings with your SO honestly is bad in any way shape or form, even if it does look awkward to others.
"Is that any way to speak to me? You think you can boss me around? I'm the one with the experience - the one the people pay for."
@@primetimedurkheim2717 Wow you must be quite a guru yourself, to have such thorough mind reading powers!
Dr. K got his fee fees hurt and his reaction was childish and cringe. This is coming from someone who has purchased and benefited from Dr. K's guides.
They’re aren’t speaking about their feelings - this is a performance. With therapy-speak as the language. And this is a stupid criticism, should they react to a 2 hour stream instead? These clips sum very well the situation. They aren’t some misleading out of context clips. It’s p straight forward.
Anyone knows of other channels that help focus on analysing content, using critical thinking, and ways to spot if sources aren't reliable? Especially hopefully on science or political content?
These aren't great answers but first of all there's a dtg subreddit which is ok and also there's a channel called SomeMoreNews that mostly talks politics, they also made a good episode on Jordan Peterson, although they're a little left wing for my taste and I don't love their performative style. Worst answer I can give is Arvin Haddad. Completely different topic but also picking apart another content creator Enes Yilmazer who does luxury home tours but Arvin is an actual realtor who critiques it. And channels like 2lazy2try and comedyenforcement are just guys who talk about gossip and scandals from the comedy world sort of connected to the circle of comics around joe rogan
@Lplover007 thanks lplover! Took a look at them but not what I was looking for still, thanks though!
This is a very specific niche, but Nutrition Made Simple is great for analysis of scientific studies on nutrition (which I guess counts as science), he goes over hierarchies of evidence and how studies are constructed pretty often
I half agree with you guys here. Yes this was a irrational situation. He was very aggressive and toxic in his interaction with his wife in this clip.
However, I don't agree this is the full picture of his relationship with his wife as this is the only time I've seen him act this way towards her and I've seen many many times of him being respectful with her. I believe he apologized to her off stream later as it wasn't ever brought up again and they have since shown only positivity as far as what I've seen from his streams and youtube videos. I realize these are edited and he would want to only show positivity. It would be naive to believe that with a relationship of any decent length, you won't have frustrating irrational moments. As long as it's kept to a minimum and it's primarily a positive experience and it's within what both adults can handle, I think it's OK and honestly realistic compared to the normal sanitized look we get of what people present to us. Once again, I agree it was a bad situation. Dr. K was bad and should understand he was being bad during this situation. However, he's not ALL bad and for that I'm going to keep watching and encourage others to do so.
I think this take is unfortunately where DtG is misunderstanding Dr. K the same way Dr. K is misunderstanding his wife in the clip. In the same way, I hope this is kept to a minimum as I think Dr. K has a lot of good advice to share and would get a good score similarly to how Destiny did.
"very aggressive and toxic" LMAOO
@@_WeDontKnow_ Are you saying his actions weren't very aggressive and toxic? I think they were pretty bad, as I explained...
@@kenshinag I dont think they were aggressive or toxic. I think if people avoid these types of interactions in relationships, stress just builds up.
I've grown up around the consequences of avoiding interactions like this. it just builds up and eventually erupts if it's not expressed in the moment, or some time afterward
@@_WeDontKnow_ I see what you're saying and for sure I agree but would you also agree there's a time and a place to be airing those frustrations?
I get frustrated with my S.O. sometimes too and definitely share that with her in various levels of volume and aggressiveness. However, I don't do it at my work or in public and let's not forget he's at work when he's content creating. Saving it for even a few hours later off-stream would be more appropriate, I want to believe.
It would also be a more understandable situation if he was using it as a teachable moment and explained as such before letting it all out. His videos are meant to educate others so he could have focused on that aspect. It's like if you confronted someone during a extended family dinner in front of everyone with all eyes on you both. Usually, you'd take them to another room unless your whole point is to share the process of conflict resolution with your whole family, which explaining it to them would help them understand.
He just looks like he doesn't have self control and that just gives others ammo when they're looking to find issues with him. I think he knows this also as we haven't seen him do anything like this since.
Dr k is a real slimy character who has a cult following that would defend anything he does. Looking forward to the analysis of the conversation with dr Mike.
I think this clip makes me appreciate Dr K even more. He’s human too. he will say things that may come off as hurtful and have his own awkward moments. I don’t want him to always be a radiant beacon of how a human should act, because he’s just another individual himself. I’m more concerned that you two fellows choose to bring up an indian conman before talking about Dr K (oh what do you know another indian man). It displays a bias and honestly shows a lot of racist characteristics from the two of you. I hope you’ll view more of Dr K’s content and understand what more of what his motives in the online space are.
His motives are MAKING MONEY. We need MORE REGULATION, to keep these grifters. I’m very disappointed that these grifters are now being platformed on mainstream media. I recently heard an NPR interview with Dr. K. He’s not just going on Destiny’s show.
@@jnnx Healthy gamer has addressed this concern publicly many times. If you actually want to do due diligence I can provide you a link. Money is a necessary tool to achieve a goal, even if that goal is something non-monetary.
He felt an emotion and he expressed it with "therapy speak". What should change for that interaction to be acceptable? Should he have not felt the emotion to begin with? Should he feel it but not mention it and just try to restrain it? Should he express it in the most "true" way possible (like raising his voice) instead of trying to express it passively? I really don't get whats the problem.
in the video here the host says whats the problem, and its what dr k says a lot in the beginning, that hes not going to diagnose or that its not a therapy anything serious just friendly talk, AND THEN HE PROCEEDS TO DOING JUST THAT PSEUDOTHERAPY but in a way like random reddit user would, assuming stuff within 2 minutes of talk. Typical scammer move. Theres so many ""helpful"" people online like this, just preying on the weak and uneducated.... dr k is a liar and a hypocrite, whos trying to avoid the law with his business model, thats the problem, or he still likes talking about the subject he was no expertise in like the vedas thing. He says he knows and uses it but hes wrong in so many places when he talks about it... I have worked with actual ayurveda experts and i know a lot too, so i can say all of that with a clear conscience, dr k is not practicing anything from vedas on top of all his lies.
And you totally omitted the fact that his "patient" killed himself right after talking with him.
Plus the rest of the video? huh?
His behav is so typical, i mean, ive met so many "therapists" and "monks" or "ex monks" too, who are still mental, or still have problems with basic logic, that is unbelievable. People always fail to judge their own self, and they never fail to praise their silly gurus
search the video titled "Dr. K Is A Dangerous Fraud" enjoy, thats just another example
Praise publicly, reprimand/admonish privately. Dr. K could have paused the stream calling for a break and they can hash it out off cam, or could have taken the issue up with her after the stream ended.
In fact, i don't care for Dr.K. that much. But i agree with the general sentiment being echoed in the comments here. This is at best "tilting at windmills." You saw one clip from the guy and extrapolated their whole relationship. That pony is still a workhorse, man.
kind of a self report that you guys don't have a healthy relationship tbh lol
The interaction between Dr. K and his wife was not healthy by any stretch of the imagination. And if you can’t see that then you either aren’t great at picking up social cues, or you think it’s perfectly ok to publicly demean and bully your spouse.
@@potatopotatow what was demeaning? I'd expect this response from a child who has never met a strong-willed woman. My friend, the only one missing the social cues here is you.
@@potatopotatow Okay, so lets say he felt disrespected? (Be aware this is during a long livestream, and this clip brings no context). You want him to not be honest and express himself?
What is wrong with communicating how you feel?
@@potatopotatow the interaction was awkward but to call this "publicly demeaning and bullying" is an insane stretch. His ego was hurt because people in the chat were calling him a "beta cuck" and he expressed that to his wife, perhaps not with a perfect use of words but in a pretty calm way. Then she gave him her thoughts and that was it. Awkward? for sure. Could've been handled better? Clearly, but "demean and bully"? Not even remotely close.
@@emilmoroder2163How you feel is your responsibility if your emotional reaction is disproportionate. She didn't disrespect him at all, yet she had to apologize for behaving normally.
16:22 Well “I’ve never spoken to a partner in that way” is a clear bias against a style of communication based solely on your perspective of relationships. About half of US marriages end up in divorce, and that doesn’t take into account the not insignificant amount of unhealthy marriages.
So yes that style of communication might not be “normal” but I think as a whole “normal” doesn’t mean healthy.
Massive Credit Card debt is becoming normal. Unregulated consumption of social media is normal, drinking alcohol is normal. I’m just as ignorant as anyone, but your judgement of normal doesn’t mean you’re right.
i just think that this comment could be a little more respectful. Maybe use your inside voice to calm yourself before youu type such inflammatory comments please.
@@jamesrowsell9346 I didn’t mean to be inflammatory, but I did intend to be blunt. If you’d be willing to tell me where/how my comment was disrespectful I’d be open to correcting tone like that in the future.
I hate fake guru’s as much as anyone, so I really value the work of channels like these. I’m am concerned though that if they degrade people on cherry picked straw-mans, it could hurt their credibility. Imo passing judgement like this before looking at the greater body of work could harm their reputation.
@@TSPage apology accepted. I appreciate you sticking up like this for your guy. He is definitely someone who should not be criticised. The gurus should conserve their criticism of individuals we dont like, not the ones we do. Im deeply disappointed in them putting out this short criticism and a shall be more disappointment when they post the full episode. Dr K is not a guru and us avid followers should speak up and out against anyone who comes at him, least of not a podcast who's sole existence is to pedal such content! Unsubbed until the move on to someone I dislike!!!!!
@@jamesrowsell9346 you didn’t read my comment. Hurt their credibility is in reference to channels like this.
I don’t want this channel to hurt their own credibility.
@@TSPage Dr. K, is that you?
Can you link a video of Dr. K attempting to guide his audience's spirituality or of him making a video where that is his express goal? Also It seems easy to pick out an awkward minute of conversation that does admittedly look bad but to take it out of the context of the rest of the conversation. Dr K definitely looked pretty bad in that first video but how is any marriage supposed to be perfect and him reacting passively aggressive there could be the outcome of many insults or miscommunications that have transpired between the couple off camera or even previously in the video which you guys didn't look at. They also have left up this video on the channel for 4 years and it has gotten nearly one million views so if it were so damning they would have possibly just taken it down. I also hope that if you guys make a video that more closely examine Dr K that you take into account that he allegedly has other therapists or some groups that is similar to the APA give guideline for his therapeutic interactions on stream. I hope you do make a video like that would watch it.
I think working out norms together instead of bottling up repeated frustrations is probably a good approach. Just as I was typing this, Mrs. K makes my point.
Disclaimer, I'm a long time dr.k watcher.
I'm very disheartened to see you guys misinterpret and inject so much weird narratives and misintepret so many aspects of their interactions.
Maybe it's cause yall are unfamiliar with dr.k? He is imo a very peculiar person, and I don't blame you if you misunderstand him or judge him harshly. He aught to be judged harsly due to his position, but it also has to be fair!
But I saw SO many absurd misinterpretations that I'm having a very hard time being charitable to you. I think yall are extremely biased against him, or have interpersonal hangups/peculiarities that don't allow you to interpret dr.k's demeanor accurately.
I watched that incident live when it happend, and have also carefully analized it several times in the past and very recently as it resurfaced, when discussing it in forums. So I feel I have a very good grasp of what happened between them. So I'm left feeling bewildered and frustrated by how different your view is from mine.
I dont feel you are being respectful when you write a sentence like this, i feel you should ask the gurus permission before you make a statement like this.
You should explain it more because you just said you were going to explain and that the gurus made a misinterpretation
@@godiebeard I didn't say I'll explain what they got wrong, I just wanted them to know that I don't agree with them, and that I think they got it very wrong. If they want me to elaborate on what I got wrong, they can ask me.
@@Alexman208GR… you chose to write 3 paragraphs and not say what the misunderstanding was…
@@Alexman208GR Will you explain to us what you think they got wrong?
Good Lord, I guess I was wrong about you guys. Like the first part I thought you might have had some amount of a point since Dr K was acting from emotion obviously. Then the second clip you brought up sort of threw out your game. The framing at the beginning with someone completely different to poison the well, the false claims made in regards to Dr K becoming a monk, and then the most uncharitable takes. Well, you at least got one last view from me since I let this video play to the end to see if I got the wrong perception here, unfortunately not.
lol this isn't passive aggressive! This is literally healthy and direct dialogue and communication! He expressed how he felt and seeked her feedback and understanding. Yikes...
He said she was being rude to him when she wasn't at all, in fact he'd been rude just previously.
It's weird to reprimand your spouse in front of a huge audience for something that minor.
@@jimgold2550 This is my first time watching this clip and I perceived it as her being a little rude
@@bigfrankalbigguy789 I don't think he's reprimanding but more letting her know how he feels
@@bigfrankalbigguy789 is weird to think you can reprimand another adult peer and equal.
Your podcast is great! You should really do Michio Kaku some day!
am i the only one that feels like it's a little inappropriate to judge the nature of their relationship based on this 20sec clip? i feel like there could be a multitude of prior interactions they've had that made him feel like he ought to say something here. i don't know what their normal interactions look like on stream or off stream for that matter. isn't it possible that this is how they both decided to resolve conflicts? your take seems extremely uncharitable to me especially considering that one of you has ONLY seen this 20 sec clip of them - 9:05
Saying "no, you go ahead" when 2 people are speaking over one another is polite...so he is being an asshole regardless of their past interactions.
@watters23 she didn't say 'no, yo go ahead' though, she said' 'go ahead'. Correct me if i am wrong but it seems like dr k felt disrespected because he felt as if his wife wasn't valuing the perspective that dr k felt the commentor would have found valuable - namely Dr K's perspective. And then when Dr K tried expressing that, his wife jokingly said well tell him to listen to her anyways, and for whatever reason dr k didn't pick up on the joke. Then when she said 'go ahead' as he was explaining himself it was almost as if she was saying 'fineee, I'll allow you to go ahead with your perspective', which I interpreted to be more likely because she's still laughing as she's saying it. I'm not sure if she actually was just trying to say oh sorry we are interrupting each other I'll let you speak, or if it was her not respecting his opinion on the matter at that moment.
Wait for their full episode on Dr. K and then urge Dr. K to take up his right-to-reply.
We'll see how passive-aggressive or not he is on that episode.
I agree. Disputes between couples will never be comfortable for outside viewers to watch but doesn't mean it's obvious that what's going on is necessarily bad or manipulative.
Video came across very judgemental of Dr K with little substance behind it. Almost seemed like random gossiping or slander.
They are not judging their relationship, they are judging their conversation.
Very disingenuous a start your first impression of him with a disagreement he had with his wife rather than talking about HealthyGamer. Seems like you have already reached a heavy bias without actually doing any research. Are we not seeing the irony here?
Honestly, I see the feeling of discomfort when watching the first clip, but also understand there are potential nuances that you did not think of. The primary one is that every relationship is different, and because I have been watching Dr.k for a long time, I know if Ms.k wanted to say hey I didn't like you said this on stream or how you said it he would just be shut down and ignore her. I could be wrong, but what i see here is a part of the problem solving process where they could break down how he felt and what he wants then she can respond with what she sees fit.
I also think you are grossly misinterpreting the interaction. That could just be me and the other commenter's opinions.
A couple isn't perfectly happy all the time? NO, really? 😏
I find it very interesting that you made a video about an OLD clip/video that only resurfaced recently as a "controversy". It really speaks to what your intent behind this video might be. Especially since you're showing the shortest clip cut from the whole 2-3 hour stream without context and with only a few minutes to someone else who then obviously comments that the relationship is "unhealthy" and that it makes them uncomfortable. I am a long-time viewer of Dr. K's videos and have been there from the near beginning of his growing community; I was actually a viewer during that stream LIVE, for the whole 3 hours or so, where I saw this interaction happen. First off, not only is it hard to coordinate speaking on stream with two people who are trying to share the same information, from the beginning of the segment where Kruti was with Dr. K, she did interject several times with short comments and cut off Dr. K at points. As a live viewer, I witnessed Dr. K's increasing frustration at that, especially during this clip's segment where Dr. K is trying to offer helpful, insightful, and informative advice to one of his viewers (the writer of the post they were discussing). I myself as a viewer was also getting slightly annoyed at Kruti interjecting and cutting off Dr. K. Not only was he able to address the issue with her right there and then, they also talked about it throughout the stream and both showed healthy communication when they came to an understanding and said that sometimes boundaries are crossed and "one is more dominant than the other which is fine".
To me, someone who watched the WHOLE stream as it was happening, your video comes off in very bad taste and I doubt you have any good intentions with making this kind of video. Taking 2 minutes from an OLD 3 hour stream and then, without context, showing it to someone else to get them to ascertain the behavior in it just screams clout-chasing from your small channel. I heard that you're going to be making a whole video that truly dives deep into Dr. K's content. Well I hope you do much more research next time and actually watch FULL streams (or at least more than a couple minutes) before spreading misinformation and trying to manipulate an audience.
man you really sound like a dr k fan
one question did we ever find out if dr k was giving retkful therapy
@@michealjaymurphy she obviously is.
Did you read her argumentation though?
Some comments about Reckful and Dr.k:
"As a reckful viewer, as the Dr. K stuff was happening, I more got the sense that Dr. K was taking a risk with his own career rather than taking a risk with Byron's well-being.
Byron had these issues long predating Dr. K. One of them was paranoia of people using him for money or attention. He has accused almost everyone over the years. I was waiting for it with Dr. K, but it never happened. I think Byron examined him from all angles and felt he was sufficiently sincere.
He was unwilling to go to a therapist, but he was willing to listen to a gamer who meditates and to allow the advice to slip in. It is called a guru-disciple relationship in Buddhism and there are thousands of years of precedent."
"I had never thought people might blame Dr. K for his death until I read the article. The man attempted suicide in the past before ever talking to Dr. K, his friends and family said he was constantly at risk of going through with it again despite going to multiple therapists, and after speaking with Dr. K he said the conversation was helpful to him. Blaming Dr. K for one conversation with him half a year before he was finally successful with the suicide feels to me like blaming a doctor for being unable to save someone with a chronic condition after seeing them once in the ER."
@@Jelissei i dont care about blame for the death, i think Dr K and his fans kinda deserve to be trolled, hes kinda a joke of human being
like look at this responses brevity is the soul of wit
@@michealjaymurphy wow, joke of a human being.... strong judgement.
Not sure if that is the case with you, but I often feel that people that want a and work for a better world are being treated like joksters, while those who explot nature and the human condition are treated with reverence and awe.
No doubt there's a gap between what someone wants (some utopian ideas) and their personality.
Still better imho than someone with dystopian ideas that acts accordingly.
So I read the comments first and I hate to break it to a lot of you but that interaction was really hard to listen too. I like and listen to a lot of Dr K’s material. I subscribe. I hang out on streams. I’m a psychology student. Blah blah blah. This is a microcosmic example of the thing about him that makes me only able to listen to him when I’m in the right mood. Cause I have to have the patience to put up with this kinda ‘way of speaking’ that he does. Therapy speak is so annoying outside of a therapy setting.
He was not any ordinary Monk, he was Adrian Monk.
You guys definitely need to take another look at these clips, I feel like Mrs. K wasn’t seeing his perspective on the chat and being falutin in regard to how dr.K and the chatter still felt ashamed of not being the breadwinner even though the other partner says it’s okay. And then on top of that she say “OKAY go ahead” after she cut him off which just seems like she thinks he isn’t saying anything worthwhile
Dr.K as a guru shows us much about woman and men differences in the clip about his interactions with his woman, or rather, how much men and woman misunderstand each other:
A woman has been thousands of years work of cultivating the gender that wants to and has the most instincts to be lead, follow masculinity, and adjust her submissiveness where her temperament finds it proper. Woman’s happiness as a result is that a man ‘wills’ or ‘he will’. Woman became so obsessed and admired masculinity much so, to the degree to which it became a danger of itself, often making woman as the adorer, the most emotionally erratic and passionate gender-this resulted in her hate and love to become more dangerous, and barbarous than men’s passions.
Later on, men began to teach woman to act like men-otherwise known as feminism, in order to protect men’s heart, from feminine malevolence and passion. How did this protect him? Simple, he invented feminism, a doctrine of increasing the masculinity in woman to high degrees to the point to which woman who were already more masculine oriented by temperament-to basically never discipline themselves in feminine ways and behaviours, but rather, discipline themselves to become the men they admired and wanted to marry! Their lies an issue here, how can a relationship where two are leaders work? In a woman’s heart, she doesn’t wish this at all, but shit tests men by playing along and acting masculine if she finds the need to do so, here often men presume she’s strong willed, but in reality, woman always pretend to be strong for the sake of a man to not be deceived by it! Submissiveness in more masculine tends to be this phenomenon. Men would like for woman to be strong willed, but woman don’t want to be in reality-a strong willed woman is what men want in woman when he is insecure about his position with her, and is safeguarding his heart against her, men who do this often decrease the arousal woman feel for them, this is why very feminist men qualify for woman often, and non-feminist men don’t need to, for their already arousing to woman to begin with because he is secure about the fact that woman will VOLUNTARILY follow his will, he doesn’t have to force a woman to follow him.
More feminine woman by temperament, are pretty much immune to feminism.
Not only was feminism the measure for men to protect their hearts, but so was forcing woman to his will, by imprisoning her with manipulating her desire to follow-a man whom she doesn’t want to genuinely follow. Men did this throughout most history, where woman were forced to follow men, or were in short manipulated to follow a man whom she might not have loved at all! This is the other counter men developed to protect his heart from woman, by encasing her with his will. Men who force a woman to follow his lead are often men who have to put their woman in their place a lot, to where it becomes tyranny. Why so? Simply due to his insecure position with her! Similar to the feminism men use; men are often at comprised situations where their hearts get played by woman for tangibles like money, muscles, attention, and game that men have-if she has barely or little trust in you deeply.
A piece of advice about woman: they want to follow masculinity, and admire it-but you cannot force her to, nor can you turn her into a man basically with feminism, both do not work in their extremes, thus both have parts that can be useful in your relationships: let her have volition and choice, don’t force her emotions, but also, know that woman is the least feminist in her heart, for her ideal is to follow a man who has masculinity enough to lead her. If SHE WANTS TO follow you, be controlled by you, it is then gallant to grant her wish. When she doesn’t, simply don’t force it, if your by temperament very masculine as a man, and a little bit feminine, then I suggest you find someone who ain’t like you, for two of the same supporting each other inevitably fails, for you both lack the same things! Find a more feminine if your more masculine, and vice versa as a man, but as a man, you know your nobility can be found in working on your masculinity if your especially more feminine by temperament, and the same high standard can be held for masculine woman! They too must work on their femininity! Those men who are already more masculine and woman whom are more feminine- don’t need to work as hard, and tend to instead develop their personality earlier on in their life.
These two extreme defences (feminism and control over woman who don’t want to be controlled by that man) prove to us that woman is created in the image of nature, of which men long ago in their observation, were immensely inspired by Mother Nature to emulate her in his feminine counterpart. This is why I’d agree with destiny on that most woman try to retain their virginity, until they find a man who has masculinity, but this often is men peacocking their masculinity only to get sexual access, hence, the west in particular, has not many virgin woman in ages of 19+. But in short, woman have pride in their purity to where they want to be seen as pure even when they have lost their purity. This is how nature is to organisms, where natural selection saves herself for organisms that can in fact thrive for some time, and seemingly seems to reject life that is much too sick to even live through an hour or less. Or in other words, the living are a byproduct of the dead.
We need a feature episode on this guy.
Are you not reading too much in that one conversation? It could be the case that she constantly puts him down in front of others. Its also possible that he was angry and said that "take permission to interrupt" while being angry. You are reading too much into one conversation that happens all the time in relationships that last a long time
We are not responding to their whole relationship just that specific interaction and the use of therapeutic speak. Not all relationships are streamed online and not all interactions are presented as an effective way of dealing with conflict.
@@decodingthegurus i think the point is that it isn't really fair to judge this specific interaction in isolation. there's a world in which his reaction is unwarranted and manipulative like you guys say. there's also a world in which she'd been pushing his buttons constantly for a while and this was the most appropriate way he could address it.
@@decodingthegurus Even the phrase therapeutic speak is kind of a loaded term. Ofc if you have been a psychologist for a decade, it will have some effects in your personal life? like do you expect him to completely divorce himself of his work language at home?
How the fook does "go ahead" lead you to imply that you need to seek permission. Dudes an arsehole.
@@decodingthegurus I think the issue here is that saying an interaction is manipulative and passive aggressive based on a small clip seems like an unfair judgement. It's understandable because it was definitely awkward and perhaps it was the result of a misinterpretation on Dr. K's part but I don't think his reaction was manipulative or even unhealthy, I think he was genuinely trying to engage in honest communication to understand that. I'm not sure it was an appropriate talk to have in public on stream but maybe they have even talked about that beforehand who knows. I believe this stream was talking about dating and relationships though so in that context it would make sense. I think they talk to each other often like this to communicate better, that's the reason I'm assuming his wife's response was "tell me more".
If that makes you feel uncomfortable, I have a CZcamsr you might want to look into called Mr. Girl...😂
Lmao first destiny then Mr girl
@@pt820 I mean they are pointing out things that Mr. Girl pointed out. It's just that Mr. Girl doesn't understand that he doesn't like people who are similar to him in anyway.
Hahaha, the Gurus looking into Mr Girl would be incredibly entertaining. And terrible, yes. Entertaining, but what an absolutely terrible human being.
I just recently watched your most recent video with Destiny and loved it incredibly, such that I subscribed. Now, after watching this video, you may have quite frankly lost that subscription.
Many times during the Destiny video you went into detail of your understanding of his past, which could only be had given a deep dive into his history. In contrast to this video, it almost seems like that video came from a different channel! Your words lead me to assume that you have yet to even dig into Dr. K’s character (you’ll do more research coming up in the review of Dr. K and Dr. Mike) and you’re simply forming preconceived judgements based on, what seems like, bias.
Looking forward to your review of the Dr. K and Dr. Mike conversation, as I’m sure you’ll bring a factual analysis based on a plethora of information, rather that clips. If I’m mislead I hope to change my mind, and if you’re mislead I hope for your erudite discussion.
Thanks for reading my criticism!
And I do hope you guys are going to be thorough and actually present Dr. K arguments about what he does on stream and not just say "hur dur he clearly does therapy on stream". There is a 40 minute video on his channel explaining it and a segment in the Sasha Grey conversation, among many others.
To me it seems Dr. K felt emasculated by chat, reacted weirdly toward his wife and then reflected on how weird it was of him.
It would've been problematic if he doubled down. But he didn't. He admitted his mistake and reflected on how it came about.
Isn't this the opposite of Guru behaviour?
Idk... maybe I'm wrong, but I don't expect people to be on their A game all the time.
I do expect people to own their mistakes and better themselves though.
Anyway, I'm really excited for you to watch and talk about a longer video of his (or rather Dr. Mike in this case).
i like these content that challenges and negatively see drk because its quite rare and it makes it interesting
Totally out of context... And seriously unfair. They are a wholesome and loving couple.
This is such a hypocritical video. One guy says that he literally doesnt know anything about the topic while the other guy literally guides him into an opinion. This video isnt a discussion or an analysis, just a hate video.
I think the editor cut out some of the cringe and gave the Dr k army too much ammo to say this was a reach
I'd love to see Dr. K scored on the guru-ometer. I think Dr. K would score pretty high on a few of the categories (after reading the comments, I think Dr. K would be off the charts on Cultish-ness). There are some clips of Dr. K's pseudo-profound bullshit that are pretty bad, especially some clips of him talking about quantum mechanics.
He told openly many times he has an ego, just like everyone else. As a trained psychiatrist yeah, he has quite the ammunition that can be used in less than stellar way. Even so, this might be a slight overreaction but not some kind of giant transgression or abuse. I think she handled it well. If this was a whole day every day occurrence it would be problematic.
Definitely awkward but „passive-agressive” or „manipulative” seems like a stretch to me. For whatever reason he got offended (justified or not) and pointed that out to his partner in an open way? If that’s what you think manipulation looks like, I envy your past experiences :)
oh I think this would be a good #rightoreply I enjoy Dr K's content but I think you guys highlighted some fair points - and I also assume the best of people too much...
Bias acknowledgement: Dr. K fan, Destiny fan, Dr. Mike fan in no specific order
Dr. K has directly addressed at length concerns about the ethics of doing what looks like therapy online in more places than just the Dr. Mike video, woulda been cool if you had responded to those here, but I suppose we'll wait for the big video.
czcams.com/video/g4yT1mPc5kY/video.html
While we're at it, he's also spoken at length about his views on ayurveda and science, where one ends, where the other begins, why he thinks it's worth discussing on stream and with willing and informed clients, and why he thinks it's ethical to do, I suppose we'll have to wait for that review.
czcams.com/video/XZn_BoSg3cE/video.html
^(this isn't necessarily the best example but the whole talk is, I think, indicative of general Dr. K behaviour, and at the end of the convo he explains a bit of what he appreciates about the guest's approach to delineating between science and spirituality throughout the convo)
With reference to the above, he also is careful in all his explainers to cite sources (typically studies or meta analyses iirc) for all his claims, and delineate out loud when he's going beyond where science exists and moving to spiritual framing. Did the comparison con man tend to do that?
I'm curious what you'd make of Destiny's thoughts on the Dr. Mike vs. Dr. K conversation (yes, this is my way of getting y'all to fight over it if there's a disagreement to be had I think he'd be interested and it'd be great content, but then again perhaps Dr. K can fill that role himself?)
czcams.com/video/gYgawoWpe18/video.html
czcams.com/video/5H9tX_tQTs4/video.html
I'm curious also if you'd admit to having not done counter research before posting this? Like, if this video was an article, would it qualify as a hit-piece? I get that it's a teaser for an upcoming vid but that's a lot of mustard to smear on the man without much to go on (that you're right about, at least, given your many insinuations if not accusations)
imagine you look further into him and find not much more to complain about but you still feel the ayurveda talk is cringe, and delineated often but not always, or something similar. If it ended up this combo of clips was the worst you found of him ever would you respect your comments here?
Hopefully the heat here is backed up or backpedaled later! I look forward to the drama either way.
I only discovered this guy a month or so ago and don’t feel strongly either way about him. The small number of videos I’ve listened to while mowing the lawn since then seem to be fairly positive, especially in the context of a world where people like Andrew Tate are popular, Dr. K strikes me as a worthwhile source of counterbalance that promotes men’s mental health without gender-based toxicity.
BUT, I’ve remained fairly skeptical in general of looking very deep since he sells he needs to generate ad revenue and he sells his courses and programs. I’ve routinely maintained an awareness that he very well could be a charlatan in any number of ways.
I was genuinely interested in this video to get a closer look at the truth. But honestly, this ain’t it. This felt like some high school gossip more than any sort of expose. Sure, the clip is an uncomfortable moment and, in my opinion, came across as unprofessional. But it did not demonstrate an abusive relationship or manipulative power dynamic.
Your bias shines very clearly due to the content you “cover” which requires tearing other people down. You cherry pick a lot of details and present them in a way to make him look as bad as possible in a leading fashion but don’t back anything up with any actual factual substance, while making little more than judgement assumptions based on less than 3 minutes of footage in one instance - which you didn’t even provide any context for.
But what’s most disgusting is your discussion of someone’s actual suicide, which you only bring up in a way that is intentionally done to try to make a connection to Dr. k and the suicide. If the people close to the victim have agreed that it had nothing to do with Dr. k, which you even state yourself, then why did you bring it up at all? By your own account it’s not directly relevant as an influence. But it’s an easy way for you to try to invoke an emotion for people to connect Dr. k as the primary influence of what happened.
You are manipulating other peoples fatal tragedy in order to promote your own financial self-interest while trying to ruin another persons livelihood.
Whether Dr. K deserves heightened scrutiny or not, this video is frankly disgusting, immature, and filled with so many elements of presentation that demonstrate complete a lack of not just journalistic integrity, but also professional capability when it comes to uncovering and presenting a cohesive set of facts documented by a trail of evidence.
But the most important this I learned from this video is that you are more than fine with taking advantage someone’s suicide and using it as a tool of manipulation to further your own professional agenda that is only self-serving for you.
You should be ashamed of yourself and reflect deeply on how low you are willing to go to generate attention, and how you might want to preserve your own professional credibility in your “career” by operating as a professional. Much less be okay with the person who looks back at you in the mirror.
wow maybe its out of context but based on the clips shown saying it was passive aggressive is putting it lightly. Idk its disheartening to see Dr. K be like that .. I didn't expect that from him and its sad to see people dismiss his behavior towards his wife
In the past Dr K used to be real big on the Ayurveda(including some of the really weird pseudo-science), where he kept using it (unprompted) in his advice. I thought it was quite disturbing back then.
More recently he has tuned that down by a lot though.
I don't know though. He's mostly reasonable and gives fairly good advice, his behavior at times is just very cult-like though. I for one wouldn't want my kid watching this guy.
This is regurgitated clickbait material trying to pose with an air of investigatory professionalism.
Welcome to the pile of thousands of clout chasing streamers that have literally nothing better to do than to take other content creators very natural and human flaws, and attempt to burn them down for the sake of what? Social justice virtue signalling?
You aren't doing good. You arent critically thinking. You aren't being clever. You aren't providing feedback or improvement. You are acting in bad faith of others and you don't acknowledge that deep down, the majority of people you are calling out are probably people attempting to do good in the world, but are often themselves misguided or lost sometimes.
Grow up.
I like you guys, but this is gross. Psychoanalysing someone's relationship through 2min clips without any context about their relationship looks like a hit piece, like you hated him first and couldn't show why, so chose this lazy approach. Also, i think you need to add another segment to your decoding the gurus series: master of all jack of none- where someone gives really strong opinions about something(like psychoanalysing someone's relationship) with zero knowledge about said topic(their relationship)or the field(psychology).
Sad to see you become the same thing that you sought to destroy(a guru).
Mannn, they are not "famous" enough to be as dangerous as the people who are they talking about.
Another random guy got problems with basic logic?
Dr k also does speedrun to assumptions often.
So stfu.
Because in BOTH cases its not guessing, its educated enough, but K is way more dangerous, his entire business model looks scammy like avoiding responsibility for his "NOT therapy sessions"...... and so forth... its like you dont even care to understand whats the problem
Hasn't msk said multiple times that she loves doctor k very much and hed very thoughtful
I feel like this is full of ad-hominem and claiming things are "not normal", but you're not proposing any ways they could improve, just judging their actions and saying "just use common sense" which is so non-specific.
Then when the community presents their opinions defending Dr. K's motives you just laugh at them and call them gullible and say "what's wrong with you people" [15:40]. There's no core, conceptual discussion about how to communicate better in this scenario.
Kruti even explained how sometimes she's the dominant one [11:55], where sometimes Dr. K is the dominant one (in the clip you guys showed, disagreeing with Dr. K's request for respectful interruptions).
You guys kind of proved why people don't present internal conflicts externally by over-analysing the 1% moment of a relationship, and make it harder for other people to find specific, real examples of healthy conflict management. Dr. K even acknowledges he may have just been excessively self-conscious in the moment.
Sorry but this video just comes off as excessively judging. I could hold your opinions in higher regard if you gave examples of how to communicate better.
Looking forward to this one!
Disagreement can be awkaward. Working through problems is always better than letting it stew. Didnt see anything wrong with this clip.
Wow amazing journalism, you should work for the wall street journal. You will work really well with the reporter who reported on pewdiepie in 2016
I don't see anything wrong with the interaction with his wife beyond the therapy speak stuff that was probably performative and exaggerated for the relationship advice stream. She was being rude. I hope your episode doesn't focus on this sort of thing because it would make you look foolish in my opinion. Definitely focus on his monk stuff and the fact he thinks people can levitate!!!! Ignore the wife stuff that you both somehow completely misunderstood his side of.
I am not joking about the levitation stuff btw, he had a video about it but it's unlisted or deleted I'm not sure. I'm sure someone has it though.
She was not being rude, in fact he'd just previously said 'the question was for me, not you', being rude to her effectively saying 'stop speaking'. He then spat the dummy when she said 'go on'.
lol wow guys look at all the new visitors to your channel with this one lmao! gee wonder where they came from or why hmmm.. they all seem incredibly hurt D:
its what you want tho, its the best
A massive brigade of deeply offended guru followers proving the point imo. Also incredibly disingenuous, „I liked you but you lost a follower“ - sure buddy, you were totally a follower not just sent here to brigade because someone was mean to daddy.
Personally, I'm someone who vaguely dislikes Dr.K looking for a reason to dislike him more. I'm desperately trying to confirm my biases here. But man, if the "tilting at windmills" had an example, it would be this.
I want to be on your side hating on Dr.K, but this is weak or dishonest. There are a bunch of fanboys in this comment section being annoying, but it's not Dr.K fans.
I don't think you guys were fair on this one with picking such an awkward clip
Im gonna wait for the full video before I unsubscribe on Spotify but based on the decent amount of Dr K videos Ive seen, there isn’t repeated substantive issues with Dr k that warrant the intro you gave in this video.
I can get over your passionate commentary of American culture and history despite your ignorance on the matter. But I(and hopefully many others) won’t tolerate the maligning of a genuinely well meaning person. He has thousands of hours online so I’m sure you can find one off incidents like this clip, so I hope you take that into account and have sufficient evidence to back your assertions.
And let’s see if you keep that same energy in his right to respond.
i think it would be better to not look at discreet situations to judge the whole of a person, not without 10 or more reactions and realistically to make a fair judgement it would be nice to see how they interact on and off camera. we have no idea what their relationship looks like off camera and so its not fair for us to make assumptions of what it is based on one or two examples of the small window we can see. for all we know she could be the one who is weaponizing that interaction, im not stating that as fact im just saying that with more context its possible. we have no idea what their boundaries are, we have no idea the dynamics at play. i say all of this knowing full well that if the way their relationship plays out was just a whole bunch of dr.k doing that and her accepting it that that would be abusive. we just dont know based on what was presented that this is a habit of behavior that is abusive in nature.
Dr k definitely comes off to me as a guru. But if you try to discuss this (or his passive aggressive therapy/conversation style) you’ll get absolutely crucified lol. To the point where even someone like Destiny, who likes Dr. K, gets completely shit on whenever he has the most minor of criticisms or disagreements with him. I don’t think he should be completely written off, and I do think he’s got a very good conception of psychiatry and does some good work, but personally there are too many red flags for me
I really don’t understand the point you’re articulating here. What part of his conversations are passive aggressive? I could be wrong, but I don’t really detect that.
Destiny isnt a good representative of your argument. Dr. K's audience is highly poisoned against him. Even if Destiny had zero pushback against anything Dr. K said, they would still try to crucify him.
Its important to remember than mental health professionals are people too and may not always act in a "perfect" way. I think dr K tried to be humble by acknowledging that he may have been irrational there but still voiced his frustrations in the moment albeit not in a necessarily emphatic way, which is absolutely fine. He wasnt demanding, they were just talking. Funnily enough I knew the exact clip you were gonna play tho😂😂.
13:35 he didn't say that he didn't care, he said that there isn't controlling what the chat is typing. if one of you pseudo alpha males's chats with a significant other got leaked there will be the same examples of communication, being insecure is okay, hiding it and trying hard to be fake alpha is not
Idk seems like they barley even know him to speak on him like this 🤣 he literally warns people that this isnt real therapy and as well as that he is a psychiatrist. Idk if you were to do a argument about dr k it should be more knowledgeable with facts and not nic picking everything
Yes but it is therapy and him lying about it doesn't make it better.
If I kick you in the head and then tell you I didn't kick you in the head it still happened, right?
@@tanren5432it’s not therapy those people aren’t his patients. It’s literally just a conversation.
dr k made me cringe so hard… his wife handled him well imo. Also what was this-was this a mini decoding? or was it a part of a full decoding on patreon?
It seems like you don’t really understand what this figure does. Unfortunate to see.
you got me coming from reddit, to youtube just to make sure i will never see such content again.
Haha, so many people crying about their "doctor" K...
This was just weak. Not enough to even be bothered. Especially when they seem to be totally fine afterwards.
I watched the talk where Dr.K debates that doctor about Ayurveda. I think Dr.K did a great job, and the other doctor was a little hostile accidentally, and also made a lot of assumptions about Dr.K and his approach / ideas. You seem to be making a similar mistake that the doctor did. You are overestimating your own knowledge and ability on the situation, which I think is actually arrogance.
"relatively not too long after the discussion with Dr.K" Is a disgusting and cowardly way to accuse Dr.K. I don't like this video. It is lazy, cowardly, and ill informed. I hope you get a lot better at this before you see any growth on this channel.
They are on stream, they don't necessarily speak like this privately. They have to engage differently here because they are trying to engage responsibly in their community. They are touching on a sensitive subject, that has caused harm to Dr.K in the past. He is a human with emotions, and talking with his wife. Think on that. It seems like you've jumped to a lot of conclusions without doing much thinking.
It's sad. And, in the future, if you want to find success and build a platform, consider thinking a little bit more, and being empathetic before you run to upload a reactionary video.
I really really don't like this video. I doubt I'll see anything else from this channel in the future. I wish you luck in learning and growing. This was weak, and lame.
I'd love a response to this comment, I'd love to hear your thoughts on what I said.
I'm going to say something that I think about you, the owner of the channel, and its based on little context. It is unfair, because all that I know about you is this one video (See what I'm doing here?)
I fear for your partner if you view this communication as toxic. They worked through their issues, immediately, and were able to laugh. I wonder how you handle issues. It seems like it might be unhealthy.
"He doesn't take the light-hearted escape"
Good for him. That sounds like good boundaries to me. If you always seek the light hearted escape, I wonder if you just stew on your issues, and are yourself a 'beta cuck' or whatever. I'm gonna keep making assumptions about you, in a way that feels similar to how you have looked at Dr.K. Maybe this will be empathy building for you.
This conversation is fine if its just two buddies catching up and having a conversation. You decided to upload this for public view. I think that's a part of why this bothers me.
Have you ever thought about how smart you are? How smart do you consider yourself? You talk like someone who overestimates their intelligence.
"It tweaks my buttons" You said that while talking about alternative medicine. Good for you, you've identified a trigger of yours. I think that could explain why you're handling this so poorly.
What a lazy video. Do better. I hope you read this whole thing, think I'm ridiculous, and then realize I'm doing the comment version of what this video was. A lazy, uninformed, attack on something that triggered you.
The difference between us is that you have a channel that you are trying to turn in to a platform, I think you should hold yourself to a higher standard, which clearly you don't.
Do better.
I think there is a bit of context missing with the interaction with his wife in that he did talk about having direct communication with your partner, even when it is something as awkward as "I feel disrespected" and here he is kinda demonstrating that. There are other moments when he does that on stream (like stating that he is feeling self-conscious or combative when the emotion is rising and bring it up with the interlocutor). The other thing is that his wife is a business woman but she is not a streamer and she's not used to having these back and forth on stream. If I remember correctly, the advice stream was kind of a special event. And also streams are awkward because of the audience aspect where you are saying stuff but also reading and responding to the public (which is visible with the second clip).
Make some real content, y’all ain’t really talking about him or he’s content.
I'm biased going in to this. I'm going to share that I like Dr.K, and listen to him. For context, I'm an athiest and somewhat spiritual. Already, the way you've begun this by talking about a 'charlatan' (in quotes because I don't know him) is poisoning the well. I'm going to share more thoughts after I see the whole video.
What a shallow, crappy take. I hope anyone curious about Dr K goes and listens to him directly and ignores this video. I won’t be watching these guys anymore because I can’t trust them to give a good opinion.
If the other commenters are right, then this is just a momentary loss of temper on Dr. K's part. Happens to all of us. Hopefully he apologized. However, this looks a lot like recurring controlling behavior I've seen in people close to me. The "I need to be respected and I'm going to let you know that in front of all these people thing" is not a good strategy for gaining any respect from self-respecting people. It actually makes you as weak as you feel.
Your analysis would be great if this wasn't dr.k and kruti, public figures, speaking about interpersonal issues on a mental health channel. This is their job, and they also want to demonstrate how to handle interpersonal conflict. These people aren't your average people, so you wan't use the same heuristics to judge them.
I don't like Dr. K. I saw how he manipulated reckful and ultimately probably contributed to reckful making the ultimate terrible decision. However, in this interaction Dr. K was being taunted by his chat, which ultimately led to this awkward reaction. But I found the response to Dr. K interaction with his wife to be more cringey than interaction itself. I have a very strong impression that you guys don't allow yourself to understand your feelings because you're even more worried about being perceived the wrong way than even Dr. K.
This is just to warn the "decoding the gurus" audience, that you guys have some of your own problems that are on display in this clip. Feeling angry and feeling disrespected, especially when the chat is taunting you for getting "shutdown", is perfectly natural. What's not perfectly naturally is pretending you're not angry and learning to avoid seeing subtle manipulation and posturing.
Personally in this clip I think both parties could be seen in a negative light. Kruti wasn't particularly graceful with how she changed topics, I don't think she intended to be belittling, but some people do intend it with similar actions so seeing that isn't crazy. Dr. K let himself get caught up in chat and didn't really see what was actually going on, instead he saw what people were telling him to see, and he should have taken time to take a break instead of going off publicly. But I think if a bad guy is in this clip it's chat for provoking this situation. I think anyone would feel insecure if you see a wall of text telling taunting you about how your wife treated you.
I hope you guys can be kinder to yourself and allow yourself to acknowledge how you feel about situations, because when you don't do that you allow other people to control you. We have our emotions for a reason. We have anger so that we're not treated unfairly. And I think you have been taught by people who are okay with you being treated unfairly, that you shouldn't feel anger.
Emotions do sometimes guide us the wrong direction, but you shouldn't assume that emotional reactions are "wrong" without good evidence.
With that said, I know that having a good take on every single thing is impossible and anyone who records their thoughts for a long period of time is going to have many cringey moments. The worst I can say is that you seem to have deliberately removed the chat feed from the video clip, and that chat history adds necessary context to Dr. K's reaction, so that doesn't look good.
That first clip was so uncomfortable. Permission to speak? Who does this guy think he is? I feel awful for his partner.
"Be seen and not heard" - now how do I mask this in therapyspeak to get my wife in line because I felt emasculated/insecure in front of my audience/money source? Makes my skin crawl, along with the parasocial defenses etc. of people who likely now use therapyspeak to continue their antisocial behaviors.
I thought some of your videos are pretty good, but this is a hard miss. Have you tried decoding the gurus that you coded itself into a default decode mode that doesnt search for anything else? Adjust your search function guys, it needs fixing.
Body language is a myth just so you know😂
Not proven by science doesn't make it a myth. Body language is real, but it is highly individualized, culture influenced, and nuanced. If someone walks up to me with two fists raised. That's body language, that ain't just some myth.
such disrespect!
Damn... this channel had promise.
holy shit i didnt really think much about this guy but the fact that you did a small segment on him and the comments are going ham is great. You might have stumbled on to the head guru here. People are losing it. Cant wait for the full episode.
This feels like they saw Dr. K doing kinda Therapy with eastern influences, being an unorthodox person online and that triggered all the right guru points that two 30 sec clips are enough to remote diagnose his marriage. Almost like the correct archetype was found and an automated verdict made. Not the intellectual rigor I am here for sadly
After taking a glance at the comments, I feel compelled to leave a comment. To me, the people rushing to the defense of Dr. K here highlights something insidious about the way he's communicating.
not only was she right, but she did it so quick and succinctly that his jealousy mated with his fragility and the entire audience gasped.
What a weird way to get clicks. I certainly clicked so i guess you succeeded on that front. But what about retention? Did you really think anyone was gonna sit through this video and watch you do mental gymnastics to conclude that Dr K is some kind of weirdo or has a bad relationship with his wife?
Edit: Off of 2 clips if them having a conversation*
Extremely bad faith
That was cringy
Dr.K the GOAT
I thought this show was cool but nah. Just drama farming