This literally what i do. I don’t even look his way. I see him at the gym almost everyday and it hurts but it feels good that I don’t give in to get his attention bc that’s all he wants
@@TiffanyParson-mw3yz I hope he changed gyms and loses all contact with you… because real people’ do real things and if I was him I wouldn’t even want to see you anymore let alone be in the same gym that’s just ridiculous
I saw my ex friend working at a grocery store as a cashier. I felt indifferent. When I went to check out, I went to someone else. I walked by her as I left. She said nothing to me. I said nothing to her. It was the best conversation I ever had with her.
Funny how that is the beat revenge...none. Trust he will meet his match. They always think they can go around hurting others, nope. Just pray for them. God will take good care of the people who were not rgw nicest to you.
Pfft. Lol. I was in a grocery store, and saw him heading toward the front. I ducked so fast, then high-tailed it to the restroom for several minutes. After that, I stopped going to that location for a couple of years. avoid. Avoid. AVOID!
Shit. I don’t say anything to that MF. Walk past like he ain’t even there. No sir. AND when I finally did see him. He said something to me. I was like I’m sorry do I know you from somewhere. Girl. You should have see his sick ass. Sicker than sick when I hit him with I’m sorry Do I know you ? Told him he must have confused me with someone else. I said my name was Sharon. And I walked away. EPIC I SAY.
🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂ this is what I do LOL , If I see him? I cross the street, run into the store, and slide between a building. Never do I want to see, talk to, or even smell his cologne ever again. Even if a man is wearing the same cologne that he wears, I move away from him. I AM DONE..................... 😯
I ran into mine at Costco a few months ago after going no contact nearly 3 years ago. He made it a point to make sure I saw him. I turned around & there he was! I cheerfully said…hey how are ya? He angrily said..I’m good. How are you? Me-Doing well thanks! As I walked away. I’m sure he expected a WTF or Oh F$&k but I greeted him as I would an old friend. No anger, resentment…my message…YOU can’t ruin my day anymore! ✌️I THINK he wanted me to reach out to him afterwards to be a source of supply again OR so he could reject me. Either way, he didn’t get a response.
@@irielion3748 I was face to face with him. Believe me I ignored and ditched him throughout the store until he made it impossible. Had I not said anything he’d think “Ha! She’s still pissed!” In his mind that’s still control over me. He may have got a slight response but it sure as hell wasn’t the one he wanted!
This just happened to me Saturday while out running in a park. I’ve been no contact since mid-February. I heard a bike beside me and looked over and saw him! He said, “Good morning!” I thought of Lee saying, “If they trigger you, they can control you.” I looked straight ahead and said nothing. I even moved to the side walk. He laughed and rode on. Thanks, Lee!
YESSSSSSS, you were the stronger person, his giggling is why he is by himself, and he is a joke. Clowns are always laughing at anything. So glad you IGNORED HIM.
I see him very often. I just look through him like he does not exist at all. He does not try to say hello anymore. I think he has explained this to himself as I am the disturbed and toxic one. What ever, not going to join his harem.
practice before. Look in the mirror, keep your face neutral and say "I'm in a hurry to be somewhere. Bye." Walk away. Seriously, practice until it's completely natural.
Yes, it's not a sign of weakness to keep it moving when you see an abusive ex. They like attention of any kind.They WANT engagement. This a good way to kinda get back at them too lol I feel the best way is to act like you don't see them AT ALL. They hate to be invisible. Again, they want attention...ANY attention fr. Don't even make a face...stay neutral. Don't look at them AT ALL and dont react AT ALL🙌🏿🦋
I saw him with his new person & he awkwardly introduced us to each other and then ran away from me. It was painful because I’m sure he said I was “a crazy ex.” If only she knew.
Today was the first time I’ve seen him since the discard and it shook me to my core and brought back every ounce of hurt feelings and pain and rage from that hurt. He didn’t see me. I saw him. I was supposed to be meeting my brother and friends in a specific store in the mall. I walked the entire length of the mall only to find that he was entering that very store. I called my brother and they got OUT of there. My brother saw him too but he didn’t see my brother. We all left the mall IMMEDIATELY and had a fun night elsewhere. Can’t help but feel I was being watched over and protected from these close encounters and can’t help but wonder WHAT would have happened if either me OR my brother were to have been seen by him or interacted with him.
I like this B-I-F-F, it's how I dealt with my bullies in jr. high. Nobody wanting to harm you likes seeing you smile sweet and politely rush off like you're late to a meeting. My mantra for toxic people; "I can't be bothered".
My ex would probably ignore me, not out of shame, but to act “bougie” and show that he has moved on in attempt to try to hurt my feelings. But I don’t care, but he will probably think that I do
No matter what, it's a super uncomfortable dynamic. Whether he's ashamed or not, my narc ex is capable of making it seem as if he is absolutely happy and fine, as if I never existed in his life. Meanwhile, just seeing his car in a parking lot is enough to send me right into fight or flight. Clammy hands, heart racing, the works. Even though I am healing, the trauma of how he treated me still manifests in my body, making me feel sick and in need of escaping.
I painfully relate 😢 annoying . After 7 years She moved sneakily out of our house n right across the street from my job while I was out of town , then I found out it was cuz she has another serious secret girlfriend. Killed this heart ❤
Ugh, too relatable. Thankfully, it gets a teensy-weensy bit easier to handle with every experience you're forced to endure. Steps so small you'd swear you weren't taking them, but you are. You really are. Soon enough your clammy hands will become clapping hands applauding your decision to put an end to the piss poor treatment you never asked for, or deserved. Get it, girl - you got this.
I went threw the flight or fight thing as well when I seen the narc. I’m not gonna say my ex Narc because the MF don’t belong to me. I will say stay strong. No contact. This too shall past.
Yep my Nex discarded me and then avoided me when he saw me. It broke my heart. That's when I went down the rabbit hole and have been learning ever since
@Bye oh for sure! I was putting up boundaries left n right and sticking to them. He didn't like it. Now he avoids me cuz I believe he knows I know and I make him feel shame.
@Bye yep they expose themselves. Infact my Nex is an alcoholic, so I believe it's just a matter of time before my no contact will really push him to the edge of raging out on me. Blaming me for everything. But I'm taking measures to ensure that hopefully he doesn't. I wish you the best on ur healing journey as well. No one knows what we go thru more than we survivors do.
Spotted her briefly in the supermarket for the 1st time the other day after 19 months. She quickly got on her mobile (cell phone) thinking I was going to harm her / take revenge / cause a scene? I simply walked past & completely ignored her. I'm a male empath btw, during the relationship I gave quite literally everything & it still wasn't enough 😞 Thank you for the channel & videos Lee, very informative & helpful 🙂
Same. 7 years, 3 business incomes and a ring. She left me alone to go to cancer scans. Cancers cured now, I'm rich af. And she is so mad she decided to ruin my friendships nkw lol. What a loser
The narc I knew died the day he ghosted me. I knew he would return because he had to get his things. I packed them the next day after he disappeared. When he showed up two weeks later I gave him his things and said nothing, not even goodbye as he walked out the door. What a relief it was to know he would not be returning.
4:51 Diddly doop. 😆😅🤣😂 Cracked me up! My ex NC narc is also my neighbor. Every time I see him now, Lee's jingle will be playing in my head. I hope I don’t just burst out laughing 😂😂 Edit: Thank you for giving me permission. Sounds odd but it's true. Also, love when you explained why he may ignore me. Now I don’t have to try and figure out shit!
I ran into my ex-narc 2 months ago at his aunt's wake/funeral. It had been 2 year's since we last saw each other and I have completely healed from him. 🙌🏾💯 He did approach me and was excited to finally see me. 🙄😐 So, he says to me, "Hey, I need to talk to you," while I was standing there talking to other people. I just looked at him. I didn't say, "Okay, I'll catch up with you when I'm done talking." If unbothered was a person that day, I was it!😂😂😂 When I saw that he was distracted talking to someone at the casket, that was my queue to exit. I wasn't planning on staying for the funeral and I've told him numerous times that he and I have nothing to talk to him about. We have no kids or business together. When I walked out the door of the church, I told his brother that I was leaving before my ex-narc starts talking to me. He started laughing because he already knows and has told me that I deserved better than his brother. When I got out on the parking lot, I saw the side door open, but they person went back inside. I believe this was him running out the door trying to catch me, but I had bent down to hug his great nieces when they ran up to me. I wish my ex-narc would ignore me! 🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️🤣 I wouldn't even lose sleep! But, unfortunately, my ex-narc is an annoying tick that you can never get rid of! 🙄
Saw mine at a show with some other friends of mine (her flying monkeys but I got a good rep and character so it never really worked). Told my boy who was with me, and we enjoyed the show. Afterward I walked up to my friends to say hi to all of them while ignoring her (she ain't say shit), then went home and smoked a blunt lol
I saw my ex twice. I walked in and sat down and ignored him, but he came and hugged and kissed me on the cheek both times. I just tuned around and continued to talk to my friends.
You let him kiss you on your cheek and hug you. Everything you do than, will mean nothing to him. You “said “to him: it’s okey I’m letting you go over the border… even if you where talking to your friends.
The narcissist in my life did the biggest smear campaign on me up at the ski lodge. He messed with me so much that it effected my skiing ability and that really upset me as I was advancing really nice. I’m skiing somewhere else next year so that’s it👍
💪You're speaking the truth. It took me almost 6 years, but finally summoned the strength to end the torture. After a year and a half of healing I'm back on my feet and enjoying each day to the max. Love and blessings to you and your family.
I have a narcissistic ex-friend at work… see her every workday. Such a mess. I relearned my whole presence there to “scan” any area i enter if she’s there, and if so look anywhere but at her. As if she’s air. Currently in the process of applying for another (and better) job…
It's funny that you mentioned the shame. A girl ex-narc co-worker was at the bus stop, and she saw me walking pass her, she hid her head under her baseball cap. it was so hilarious, and I kept on walking.
I saw mine the day before my birthday . He was walking out a pub with a large lady the pub is literally on the road where I live and he knows that . I was across the street coming from a shop - I looked up and I couldn’t believe my eyes at first he looked like he wanted to run away then he was looking to the ground then we had to cross the road and we passed each other and stoped for a few seconds to let traffic pass he was hiding his face looking dark his hair undone with glasses covered his eye he looked totally ashamed. I didn’t give him 1 piece of attention. This man invited himself to my graduation to provoke a reaction this man spread a horrifying smear campaign he owes me money abused me including sexually I was filled with rage 😡 I hope the shame he felt injured his soul he has a new born baby with new supply maybe he will disappear and focus on destroying her .
@@recoveringsoul755 I don’t care and don’t know and certainly hope that’s not my replacement 🤣🤭honestly I feel so much pity bc him and his family are evil and will destroy her
@@isobelle.London yeah. I struggled with wanting to warn all the new ones, but realized someone else has to replace me or I'd never be Free. I almost feel guilty but. She goes to every court hearing and now knows he's abusive. So she's been warned. Reading my psych evaluation that says I'm a victim of DV is pretty hard for her to claim ignorance
@@recoveringsoul755 don’t worry once upon a time we where new supply they don’t magically change she will unfortunately find out the way we had too . Free yourself heal and live and watch ur back that can make them enraged trust me it’s true the best revenge is healing and moving on .
At first I had a whole panic attack, froze then escaped & pretended not to see him even tho he was sitting in the car parked right in front of me. Now, I totally act like he doesn’t exist. I don’t even wave hello lol😂
If he’s with a woman I’m going to hold up a sign that says “Your pH is off because of him girl. RUNNNNNN” Just kidding. I would go the opposite direction, no eye contact. I don’t acknowledge demons
@@narelleme7990 PH balance. Sometimes it gets thrown off if the person you are with sleeps with other people. I was with a cheater for 4 years and had no idea until the end
Ignore act like I don't see him. Absolutely no reason to even acknowledge him. Though last time he had the audacity to come up beside me and speak to me. In wich case I had to gray rock 🪨 him. Plain and simple
Mine has finally seemed to stop stalking/texting me after a year of harrassment. If I were to run into him in public I'd probably freeze up, handle it like a champ and then freak out later. Watching your play back for this.
Omg this is exactly what happened to me today! I haven’t seen mine since I dumped him 5 months ago then I walk into a park and he’s sitting there. He looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights. I looked at him and smiled but said nothing! He immediately grabbed his phone like he was texting someone. He knows he did me dirty! I walked away but it still felt like a knife went through my heart I was upset I still felt that way😢. Thanks Lee your videos helped me a lot perfect timing 🙏👍
@@OneWhoKnowz I’m not sure? The first time I figured it’s a public park, but I was supposed to at a bbq there the following evening and my friends came and said he was sitting alone In the park, so I didn’t go to the bbq. I have been hanging out there for years it’s near my house, but I don’t need to be running into him so need to find a place he won’t be at😢
Ive noticed narcs dont upgrade so you will always look better than the new supply 😂. They will more than likely take it out on them when they get home OR think about you whilst clapping their cheeks
Thanks for the clarification on many issues I know I need to love myself more and first. I’ll be purchasing the journal, may be the only that will save me or at least help me on my healing journey ❤❤
I wish you had put this video out a couple of weeks ago. He spoke to me in church and I spoke back but kept walking. I spoke because we were in church, now I know better.
@cen808105 It's great that you kept walking and you can ignore him next time, which you obviously know now, even though it seems to go against Christian behaviour. I'm sure that God, or whoever you believe in, would prefer that you don't encourage the person for self-protection, no matter where you are though! It reminds me of the last highly narcissistic ex, who was a Christian, yet his behaviour was the total opposite. In fact, my behaviour is more inclined that way and I'm not one. Luckily, he lives in another state and he owes me a lot of money, which might be working in my favour, if it's keeping him right away from me. 😊
Thank you so much for this video, Lee. All these months I was still not sure 100% whether he was a narcissist but when you explained what a narcissist would do, it was exactly things he had done.
Lee thank you so much for everything you share. My narcissist really broke my heart. He made me feel like he really loved me but kept cheating, lying and demeaning me in sneaky ways. We were together 4 months and talked for 9 months. I wish he would change but I know I can’t do that for him and I know the sweet side of him isn’t real. Going on 5 weeks no contact. Staying strong and taking your advice.
Yes same here, was married for three years, found out he cheated from the beginning and throughout, doing underhanded things, laughing at my trust and naivety about our relationship, once I realized how malignant this entity is towards me and my babies, I bounced when the opportunity came up. It will be almost a month no contact and forever it will stay no contact. Had to cut off all the narcissists surrounding me along with the flying monkeys. Sending you lots of healing energy your way. We all deserve true genuine and loyal love. But it first must come from ourselves. We need to show up for ourselves always despite others' harmful behaviors towards us.
Stay no contact, friend. I’m getting discarded AGAIN after 3 years. I put a deposit down on my own place yesterday, finally. But it hurts so much. I am a shell of who I used to be. My mental health has never been worse. I wish so badly I would have never talked to him again after he discarded me the first time. Please, don’t waste your life on a person who will never, ever care about you.
@Amanda-yv3on Congratulations on getting your place. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Wishing you so much healing, peace, prosperity, and protection on your new journey to self. 💐🥰🎉🎊🥳
Thank you. Any support means so much right now. It’s been so painful getting to this point, and if he hadn’t discarded me in this particular way again, I’m ashamed to say I’d probably still be thinking there was hope. I have a good therapist and I’m leaning heavily on my friends.
This is so true! It happened with a few narcs in my life after I walked away from them. Whenever they saw me in public, they would immediately look away and pretend to not know who I am. When one of them still owed me money, they would ghost me for months but eventually paid me everything, thank God.
Narcissist ppl I avoid them like the plague. I did not trust your message at 1st. But over time, I realized you were up front. And is being helpful. So, I find you are likeable, and sometimes, funny. I hope you are healing and becoming your true authentic self. Self discovery is no picnic. But liking yourself is beautiful.
I've learned to hone my skills in any possible situation where I might encounter the ex narc. I've worked in customer service for YEARS, and have had to deal with some extremely rude people. What I've found to be most effective - flat tone of voice, emotionless stare, straight to the point response, stand your ground, and then walk away. People hate not being able to get you to sink to their level of immaturity!!! 😉💪
I snobbed him and turned my head away. He was with the new supply. He only wanted to say hi to get supply from me and supply from making her jealous..no empathy. I gave him neither. Later I heard that he felt butt hurt by it and couldnt believe I did that 😂 Mind you, he cheated on me, dumped me and switched me out for her.
Hi Lee! Your videos have honestly helped me tremendously to heal by understanding 1. That I'm not crazy lol, so validation was a huge help. 2. I see I'm not in this alone, so through my battles I have become stronger and that has slowly created my independence... I wanted to say Thank you 💕.... I'm still working on it but I'm getting there. I've been in this for 26 years, my youngest just graduated school and is getting ready to start pre- vet courses. Please give us a heads up if you decide to autograph any of your books I would love to purchase one! 😇 Thanks again!!
I saw my ex-narc last summer. I pulled into a space at a supermarket in a bordering state, the area where we both grew up and where her daughter now lives and I travel to work in. I parked and turned off the ignition then saw the make, model and color pickup truck she drove when I last saw her four years earlier. It was parked on the next row of vehicles over. Then I saw her walking to the back of the truck, walking with her very masculine swagger, something I found very unattractive about her (didn't do when she was younger and not a self-professed "redneck"). She was grabbing bags of bottles to recycle; hardcore alcoholic now. I started up the car, pulled out of the space and left the area, coming back later after she finished her business. The awesome thing I learned from this close encounter is that I didn't feel any anger or hate, no heartbreak or sadness, just indifference. I didn't find her attractive anymore (she's technically still hot at 50, physically more attractive than many woman her age). I picked right up on the swagger and the resting bitch face, the sort of "relaxed scowl" she has. I felt nothing except a desire to not deal with her even on the most casual level, and even that was a very detached feeling of not wanting to bother. I've since had another similar encounter and I'm amused to find just how much I don't really care anymore . . . even enough to enter into my "Healing Road" journal, which has become more of a journal about my music and a document about life in general, something born of PTSD and now more biographical more than anything. I only rarely write about certain things on various anniversaries, and not from the same angle I used to because my life has changed so much and I've accomplished so many different things. This fall it'll be five years since "no contact." Although there was one brief contact and one "near miss," it all feels very different now and life is so much better. It took 40 years to get where I'm at now. I learned: closure = acceptance. Onward and upward.
I see one and you can see his anger still and he stole from me. Another hides, because he stole from me also. I find it amusing because they are pretty much dead to me.
After divorce. He came to me he was crying. He was telling he won't be able to see me. He told he can't live without me.. Suddenly he came to me and he hugged me. I was shocked..I ignored him
Gm Hammock, Happy Father's Day to you🎉! Hammock, this is definitely the video that I had to see! Had post questions about an day ago about an situation that has happened to me before & I know it will happen again due to the nature of the various events that the narc have to attend when I attend. Thank you! I thought I was wrong for keeping my sanity by ignoring or/& walking away. GOD bless you. Hagd😊
Also Hammock gotten your self love journal last month...must confess I didn't look into it fully until just last Thursday 😬but I am going to start the exercises in there to help build me up. Again thanks 😊
Thank you Lee because you gave good advice. I use it too. It worked perfectly. Two weeks after I broke up with my ex he showed up at a place he knew I use to go every Friday with my friends. He came in and I looked at him (not in a bad way) but just an acknowledgment ok I see you and know your here and immediately turned to my friends and never looked at him again. I didn’t know where he was or what he was doing but I also made sure the local waitress and bartender knew to sit me and my friends far back and to not sit him nowhere near us. Luckily, it was a long waiting time for him to sit and he got so pissed off that he took off after hour minutes of waiting like a bat out of hell I later heard. He also got in his truck in the parking lot so pissed off that he left screeching tires and all. One patron said to the bartender Whrs wrong with that guy he was pissed as hell. I hadn’t blocked him because it was recent and had decided to keep him unblocked so I could read his texts and ensure his mind wasn’t thinking or saying anything in a violent manner or any red flags in case I had to call Police, make a report or get a restraining order. I kept him unblocked for a month and even though he texts novels my way or tried calling me and left messages with devaluing words and being very mean there was nothing suggesting he would become a stalkier person violent. So after a month I blocked him for good. I haven’t ran into him again but I was prepared and thanks to you it worked perfectly. If I see him again it will be the same thing for me. He texted me very angry that he didn’t understand why I had to ignore him and why couldn’t we just be friends. He was and is not my friend but I didn’t and never answered any of his texts (novels) or phone calls. It was tempting not to text back and set him starlight but he was just looking for away to get me to communicate with him and I knew that. Anything to draw me back to talk or argue or whatever. The drama crap. Thanks again. Appreciate it.
I ran into my narc in public 2 years after I stopped talking to him. He said that if I find you with another man I will beat you because we never broke up. I told him that if he did that then I was going to teach him a lesson he would never forget. After he left I had to ask those that I was with whether he was telling the truth that I ever went out with him because I just could not believe that I ever went out with that person. I really felt nothing. I am now going through a divorce from the person I eventually married. Haven’t physically seen my emotionally and psychologically abusive husband for almost a year now. He decided to attend a parent teacher conference online. He never attends parents teachers’s conferences so I was surprised that this time he did. I attended in person he attended online. I spent the meeting looking directly at the teacher and never once looked his direction. I just ignored the computer as if it did not exist. I asked the teacher a question and he answered only that he did not answer what I had asked. I did not acknowledge him but I just looked directly at the teacher and said that’s not what I asked and repeated the question. I have told him if he needs to talk about our children he should send an email or a text message. I have nothing to talk to him about except the kids and the divorce. I try to be positive and friendly in my communication with him although all I get is harassment and threats.
Mine does the same. Very scared cause I just left him after he punched me in the nose today. I had enough. I going through so much. I don't know how us ppl do this.
I Started Ignoring him while we Lived together😂. Then When I got well -in 2021 I kicked him to the Streets. BEST DECISION I EVER MADE.3 Monthz ago I opened the door & There he was Smiling .He rushed in got Naked And I threw his clothes outside “GET OUT!!” He looked Confused But stepped out😂😂😂
Thankfully this will never happen because we live in two different states. But, if I ever did see him, I would do what he always did to me, act like he's invisible. 👻🤷🏻♀️
You seem to always tlk to me. You always describe my life. My recent ex tried to avoid me in the gas station. I saw him. He knew I was the one that walked thru the door. He walked as if he didn't see me and was past me, but at the last second stoped took a step back and said hey gave me a hug said he still had me number and would txt me. 2 days later I got a txt from his cousin asking if he could give him my number. Lmao 🤣 he could have kept walking and not speak. It would not have bothered me. And he lied right there to my face. Said he still had my number. It's been over 2 yrs since I saw him last. But anyway j told him not to txt me that the only reason he spoke was bc he thought it was polite. But I told him next time walk past me as if we never knew each other bc thats what I can and will do from now on. I havent heard from him again. Your answer to my questions are ALWAYS on time... thank you my friend ❤️ 🎉
Love your Intro and a smile. Like a Radio DJ.😂 so appreciative of the confirming advice about being cordial always felt like being cordial is considered to be brief, period. Hi, maybe nod but always in motion. 😂 Thanks for confirming. Be well.
We were married 24yrs.. he cheated and I left he married the woman.. i went no contact.. fast forward 3 yrs our grandson’s birthday party was the first time I seen them together and seen her, they sat right behind me.. kissing, hugging, taking selfies in Chucky Cheese… I never let them see me sweat.. 6 mths later our other grandson birthday party he didn’t want to go because my family would be there and my boyfriend, (my family lives in a different state and couldn’t make the other party, my boyfriend was working )so he didn’t want to feel uncomfortable and give them dirty looks… but it was ok for them to make it uncomfortable for me and our children that was there and had to be around that for the first time…
I'm very proud of you, you inspire me to help others in my problematic situations and manorisms... This is what it's all about....putting it on the table, so we can help eachother out.. . Hey, thank you for reminding me, cause you didn't have too do anything, so you get a huge virtual hug from me and a kiss on the check sir!!!! Hahahahahahahaha Amen Abba!!! You prove that even you peirce through all typed of hearts and offer healing and conviction....you are worthy Father God!!!! Thank you🎉🎉🎉
I saw her today at work as she was walking to the park, & like Lee said at 7:27 she put her hand on her face to pretend like she didn't see me looking up away in the process. I kept walking stoicly and ignored her. Stay strong fellas
The best part of this video is where you almost said to call OSHA hahahahahahaha. I love you dude....a narc is truly a chemical hazard! Hahahaha the best. Imma buy you a chocolate pop tart. You're the best!
I recently plucked up the courage to block after a traumatic end to the relationship and continuing to be used for 2 years. It has bothered me what I do if I see him. Thank you for this advice Lee 😊
@Piscesmermaid Good on you for taking the huge step and blocking the ex. I wish you all the very best for your now brighter future without him as well! It's normal to feel distressed, if you do see him somewhere, yet it's a good idea to learn how to hide it, which Lee Hammock mentioned and I'm still working on it myself. I want to add that I love your username and my precious daughter, who is in her 40s now, is a Pisces too. 🐟
There's no need to be scared of these people. Ignore and keep moving with life, stay busy, learn, heal. If you have to carry protection like oc spray or take classes of mixed martial arts like Tae Kwon do, boxing, etc go for it it's a tremendous confidence booster.
There are two ex-narcissists co-workers I cross paths with, and I never say anything to them, and I just keep on moving. And if I am in the store shopping and I see them I just do my thing and keep shopping.
When I lived in the same state as my narc ex-just hours away-, I decided that if I ever saw him again, I’d greet him with a big smile (happy I was no longer with him); he didn’t discard (he was one of those who would have stayed for ever if I continued to keep accepting the abuse). Ended up with another narc who lived in the same town who discarded me after disability for a new shiny non-disabled bauble. No skin off of my teeth to be happy in her presence (if I couldn’t avoid her) and treat her like the decent human being I used to think she was capable of being. I learned long ago when working with people who knew I got their narcissistic number and took an instant disliking to me that not being affected by the dark looks given helped me feel more confident rather than giving them the satisfaction of thinking they affected me. (In the end, they didn’t affect me.) So sick of people like that thinking they can manipulate you/me with their approval / disapproval. I never ran into him, but I did run into her at a funeral and a party and was friendly (and she was trepidatious because I’d caught her cheating). It was obvious that people were wondering how I would deal with her.
It's hard to deal with when you work at the same place. You're always trying not to run into them 🙄 but the harder you try the more you run into them. Whole situation is so exhausting 😩.
Mine thrives on being top dog and making others uncomfortable. When I left I was able to expose him & he lost a few things because of it. I then changed my job, number, & car all in the same day because of him. That was a couple years ago. Saw him not too long ago. I was visiting family when he pulled up kitty corner at someone else's home. He noticed me cooking on the grill. When he got back on his motorcycle he drove by slow, smiled & waved, looked like he was gonna pull over. But I flipped him off with his buddy ridding right behind him. His face dropped & he sped off. He scares me but I'm not gonna give him the joy & satisfaction of seeing it from me. He'd love it.
Idk why but I'm very anxious about running into him one day. I try to prepare myself to avoid getting upset. My desire is to be friendly and go forward with my head held high.. that's it, that's all
I ignored him like he ignored me while I lived in his home.
🙌🏾🙏🏽
I did to but that's not me so I just have small conversation I will have my own soon praying for you
Ouch! I felt that 😂😂😂❤❤❤
Exactly
❤
Ignore them & keep it moving. The person you knew never existed. That person is a stranger to you.
...Exactly!
That's a good way to look at it. I got to remember that if I see them.
This literally what i do. I don’t even look his way. I see him at the gym almost everyday and it hurts but it feels good that I don’t give in to get his attention bc that’s all he wants
@@TiffanyParson-mw3yz I hope he changed gyms and loses all contact with you… because real people’ do real things and if I was him I wouldn’t even want to see you anymore let alone be in the same gym that’s just ridiculous
I saw my ex friend working at a grocery store as a cashier. I felt indifferent. When I went to check out, I went to someone else. I walked by her as I left. She said nothing to me. I said nothing to her. It was the best conversation I ever had with her.
🤣🤣🤣 I know the feeling 🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂
bullshit
Good for you. That must have felt amazing.
@@Erica-cf1xb Thanks. Absolutely, it was amazing.
He forgot I existed when he was out cheating so if I ever see him out in public, he's getting the same energy.
🙌🏾🙌🏾
Period🤛🏾
So true!
Absolutely
Funny how that is the beat revenge...none. Trust he will meet his match. They always think they can go around hurting others, nope. Just pray for them. God will take good care of the people who were not rgw nicest to you.
I did a 180. I turned my back and walked away. And I thought to myself, "oh, so that is how it feels to turn my back on someone "
Pfft. Lol. I was in a grocery store, and saw him heading toward the front. I ducked so fast, then high-tailed it to the restroom for several minutes. After that, I stopped going to that location for a couple of years. avoid. Avoid. AVOID!
💯💯
@Moonlit. Good for you for taking care of yourself by avoiding the narcissist. Peace is mind is a good thing.
🎯🎯🎯
I’d HAPPILY walk in the other direction. Now he’s just somebody that I used to know😐😐😐
🙌🏾🙌🏾
Shit. I don’t say anything to that MF. Walk past like he ain’t even there. No sir. AND when I finally did see him. He said something to me. I was like I’m sorry do I know you from somewhere. Girl. You should have see his sick ass. Sicker than sick when I hit him with I’m sorry Do I know you ? Told him he must have confused me with someone else. I said my name was Sharon. And I walked away. EPIC I SAY.
@teesahurt2074: now THAT deserves a standing o!!!💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳 I’m proud of you!!!
#sheshealing
#shesmovingforward
🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂🏃🏽♂ this is what I do LOL , If I see him? I cross the street, run into the store, and slide between a building. Never do I want to see, talk to, or even smell his cologne ever again. Even if a man is wearing the same cologne that he wears, I move away from him. I AM DONE..................... 😯
😅😅
@@MentalHealness Thats right King Lee
Listen 👂 I overstand
I ran into mine at Costco a few months ago after going no contact nearly 3 years ago. He made it a point to make sure I saw him. I turned around & there he was! I cheerfully said…hey how are ya? He angrily said..I’m good. How are you? Me-Doing well thanks! As I walked away. I’m sure he expected a WTF or Oh F$&k but I greeted him as I would an old friend. No anger, resentment…my message…YOU can’t ruin my day anymore! ✌️I THINK he wanted me to reach out to him afterwards to be a source of supply again OR so he could reject me. Either way, he didn’t get a response.
Sweet👍
Never go backwards. 👍🏽
But he still got a response. You should have ignored!
@@irielion3748 I was face to face with him. Believe me I ignored and ditched him throughout the store until he made it impossible. Had I not said anything he’d think “Ha! She’s still pissed!” In his mind that’s still control over me. He may have got a slight response but it sure as hell wasn’t the one he wanted!
@@4WallsDesigns just be happy!! Even if you’re having a horrible day…be happy! Lol! 3 years out and my life has gotten exponentially better!!!
This just happened to me Saturday while out running in a park. I’ve been no contact since mid-February. I heard a bike beside me and looked over and saw him! He said, “Good morning!” I thought of Lee saying, “If they trigger you, they can control you.” I looked straight ahead and said nothing. I even moved to the side walk. He laughed and rode on. Thanks, Lee!
🙌🏾🙌🏾💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
YESSSSSSS, you were the stronger person, his giggling is why he is by himself, and he is a joke. Clowns are always laughing at anything. So glad you IGNORED HIM.
Good for you!! That’s strength!
@@Byebye10111Lucky you!!!
Sounds like he was the mature one. Ignoring someone is childish.
I just walked past her just like I walk past an stranger 😊
Yes, I did the same. Wiped the smirk right off her face. I never looked back.
He’s just another tree in the park. See no evil, hear no evil, speak to no evil 😂
...but I LIKE trees! 😂 #goodone 👍🏾
I turned my head to the side. Almost turned my neck round like an owl 😂
...☺️👊
Right like WHOOOOOO TF IS THIS 😅😅
I see him very often. I just look through him like he does not exist at all. He does not try to say hello anymore. I think he has explained this to himself as I am the disturbed and toxic one. What ever, not going to join his harem.
Running into my ex is my biggest fear. I’m pretty sure I will not handle it well.
prepare yourself now and dont beat yourself up.
Carry Some MASE JUST FOR HIM!
@@GreeneChakralol or RAID spray 😂
A head nod and keep it pushing.
practice before. Look in the mirror, keep your face neutral and say "I'm in a hurry to be somewhere. Bye." Walk away. Seriously, practice until it's completely natural.
Yes, it's not a sign of weakness to keep it moving when you see an abusive ex. They like attention of any kind.They WANT engagement. This a good way to kinda get back at them too lol
I feel the best way is to act like you don't see them AT ALL. They hate to be invisible. Again, they want attention...ANY attention fr. Don't even make a face...stay neutral. Don't look at them AT ALL and dont react AT ALL🙌🏿🦋
Yup. They want supply …. good or bad. Pay them N🚫 attention!
You are WINNING when you behave the way you just described here. Give them NOTHING. STONE FACE …
It feels Damm good
I saw him with his new person & he awkwardly introduced us to each other and then ran away from me. It was painful because I’m sure he said I was “a crazy ex.” If only she knew.
I got to part 2- lol. He was probably ashamed.
I felt that.. if only she knew.. his mama just tried to make me sound crazy I had to blocked her !
@@Authenticnell they'll eventually know. Not sure about the mom though, sometimes they're the biggest enablers!
Isn't it funny how every ex girlfriend is crazy only common denominator is them😂
You’re beautiful. His lost!
50 yrs. 6 yrs. free from him. I am afraid of him...hate him...but I won't allow him to see that...he would only enjoy it.
Today was the first time I’ve seen him since the discard and it shook me to my core and brought back every ounce of hurt feelings and pain and rage from that hurt. He didn’t see me. I saw him. I was supposed to be meeting my brother and friends in a specific store in the mall. I walked the entire length of the mall only to find that he was entering that very store. I called my brother and they got OUT of there. My brother saw him too but he didn’t see my brother. We all left the mall IMMEDIATELY and had a fun night elsewhere. Can’t help but feel I was being watched over and protected from these close encounters and can’t help but wonder WHAT would have happened if either me OR my brother were to have been seen by him or interacted with him.
I like this B-I-F-F, it's how I dealt with my bullies in jr. high. Nobody wanting to harm you likes seeing you smile sweet and politely rush off like you're late to a meeting. My mantra for toxic people; "I can't be bothered".
My ex would probably ignore me, not out of shame, but to act “bougie” and show that he has moved on in attempt to try to hurt my feelings. But I don’t care, but he will probably think that I do
That's what I thought mine was doing @heynowyouknow915 . Not sure how we can tell the difference? Anybody know the answer?
No matter what, it's a super uncomfortable dynamic. Whether he's ashamed or not, my narc ex is capable of making it seem as if he is absolutely happy and fine, as if I never existed in his life. Meanwhile, just seeing his car in a parking lot is enough to send me right into fight or flight. Clammy hands, heart racing, the works. Even though I am healing, the trauma of how he treated me still manifests in my body, making me feel sick and in need of escaping.
It’s as if you’re writing about my life like the Truman Show. Eerie.
@@jamiew83831 Wishing you strength and harmony!
I painfully relate 😢 annoying . After 7 years She moved sneakily out of our house n right across the street from my job while I was out of town , then I found out it was cuz she has another serious secret girlfriend. Killed this heart ❤
Ugh, too relatable. Thankfully, it gets a teensy-weensy bit easier to handle with every experience you're forced to endure. Steps so small you'd swear you weren't taking them, but you are. You really are. Soon enough your clammy hands will become clapping hands applauding your decision to put an end to the piss poor treatment you never asked for, or deserved. Get it, girl - you got this.
I went threw the flight or fight thing as well when I seen the narc.
I’m not gonna say my ex Narc because the MF don’t belong to me. I will say stay strong. No contact. This too shall past.
Ran into her and her son. Her son gave me a hug, I hugged him back. Didnt even look at her.
Yep my Nex discarded me and then avoided me when he saw me. It broke my heart. That's when I went down the rabbit hole and have been learning ever since
@Bye oh for sure! I was putting up boundaries left n right and sticking to them. He didn't like it. Now he avoids me cuz I believe he knows I know and I make him feel shame.
@Bye yep they expose themselves. Infact my Nex is an alcoholic, so I believe it's just a matter of time before my no contact will really push him to the edge of raging out on me. Blaming me for everything. But I'm taking measures to ensure that hopefully he doesn't. I wish you the best on ur healing journey as well. No one knows what we go thru more than we survivors do.
The problem was always them - never you.
Me too..and we work together.. so now we just ignore each other everyday
@@galncogneato oof! That's hard!!!!
Spotted her briefly in the supermarket for the 1st time the other day after 19 months. She quickly got on her mobile (cell phone) thinking I was going to harm her / take revenge / cause a scene? I simply walked past & completely ignored her.
I'm a male empath btw, during the relationship I gave quite literally everything & it still wasn't enough 😞
Thank you for the channel & videos Lee, very informative & helpful 🙂
Same. 7 years, 3 business incomes and a ring. She left me alone to go to cancer scans. Cancers cured now, I'm rich af. And she is so mad she decided to ruin my friendships nkw lol. What a loser
The narc I knew died the day he ghosted me. I knew he would return because he had to get his things. I packed them the next day after he disappeared. When he showed up two weeks later I gave him his things and said nothing, not even goodbye as he walked out the door. What a relief it was to know he would not be returning.
I’d make sure that I had my phone out and the camera on to record any evil shit that we all know they’re capable of.
I used to voice record when he started an argument or really just spoke.
4:51 Diddly doop. 😆😅🤣😂 Cracked me up!
My ex NC narc is also my neighbor. Every time I see him now, Lee's jingle will be playing in my head. I hope I don’t just burst out laughing 😂😂
Edit: Thank you for giving me permission. Sounds odd but it's true. Also, love when you explained why he may ignore me. Now I don’t have to try and figure out shit!
you got it. protect your peace
RUNNNNNNNNN! don’t make eye contact!!! Go the other way!!!!
🏃🏼♂️🏃🏼♂️🏃🏼♂️🏃🏼♂️
I ran into my ex-narc 2 months ago at his aunt's wake/funeral. It had been 2 year's since we last saw each other and I have completely healed from him. 🙌🏾💯 He did approach me and was excited to finally see me. 🙄😐 So, he says to me, "Hey, I need to talk to you," while I was standing there talking to other people. I just looked at him. I didn't say, "Okay, I'll catch up with you when I'm done talking." If unbothered was a person that day, I was it!😂😂😂 When I saw that he was distracted talking to someone at the casket, that was my queue to exit. I wasn't planning on staying for the funeral and I've told him numerous times that he and I have nothing to talk to him about. We have no kids or business together. When I walked out the door of the church, I told his brother that I was leaving before my ex-narc starts talking to me. He started laughing because he already knows and has told me that I deserved better than his brother. When I got out on the parking lot, I saw the side door open, but they person went back inside. I believe this was him running out the door trying to catch me, but I had bent down to hug his great nieces when they ran up to me. I wish my ex-narc would ignore me! 🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️🤣 I wouldn't even lose sleep! But, unfortunately, my ex-narc is an annoying tick that you can never get rid of! 🙄
Narcs are more like roaches. They're hard to get rid off.
... They all are!
Saw mine at a show with some other friends of mine (her flying monkeys but I got a good rep and character so it never really worked). Told my boy who was with me, and we enjoyed the show. Afterward I walked up to my friends to say hi to all of them while ignoring her (she ain't say shit), then went home and smoked a blunt lol
🙏🏽
😂😂😂😂 yesss
The best story I’ve read on here 😉💕
Great !
Still trying to get this craziness outta my house🤦♀️
stay strong
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾💜💜💜sending you love and praying God delivers you like he did me AMEN
I saw my ex twice. I walked in and sat down and ignored him, but he came and hugged and kissed me on the cheek both times. I just tuned around and continued to talk to my friends.
No, please reclaim your body and put a stop to this. He is insidiously letting you and everybody around know that he still owns you.
You let him kiss you on your cheek and hug you. Everything you do than, will mean nothing to him. You “said “to him: it’s okey I’m letting you go over the border… even if you where talking to your friends.
After all the bad he did to me and almost broke me, he is invisible in my eyes. Someone I never want to hear from again👋🏽💪🏼👊🏼
The narcissist in my life did the biggest smear campaign on me up at the ski lodge. He messed with me so much that it effected my skiing ability and that really upset me as I was advancing really nice. I’m skiing somewhere else next year so that’s it👍
💪You're speaking the truth. It took me almost 6 years, but finally summoned the strength to end the torture. After a year and a half of healing I'm back on my feet and enjoying each day to the max. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Picturing the 3 point turn in the chip aisle 😂😂😂 your videos have me dying sometimes
I have a narcissistic ex-friend at work… see her every workday. Such a mess. I relearned my whole presence there to “scan” any area i enter if she’s there, and if so look anywhere but at her. As if she’s air. Currently in the process of applying for another (and better) job…
It's funny that you mentioned the shame. A girl ex-narc co-worker was at the bus stop, and she saw me walking pass her, she hid her head under her baseball cap. it was so hilarious, and I kept on walking.
That’s funny 😂😂
We ignore each other 🎉
😩
I saw mine the day before my birthday . He was walking out a pub with a large lady the pub is literally on the road where I live and he knows that .
I was across the street coming from a shop - I looked up and I couldn’t believe my eyes at first he looked like he wanted to run away then he was looking to the ground then we had to cross the road and we passed each other and stoped for a few seconds to let traffic pass he was hiding his face looking dark his hair undone with glasses covered his eye he looked totally ashamed.
I didn’t give him 1 piece of attention.
This man invited himself to my graduation to provoke a reaction this man spread a horrifying smear campaign he owes me money abused me including sexually I was filled with rage 😡 I hope the shame he felt injured his soul he has a new born baby with new supply maybe he will disappear and focus on destroying her .
I was replaced with someone twice my size too. He's desperate
@@recoveringsoul755 I don’t care and don’t know and certainly hope that’s not my replacement 🤣🤭honestly I feel so much pity bc him and his family are evil and will destroy her
oh my goodness.!!
@@isobelle.London yeah. I struggled with wanting to warn all the new ones, but realized someone else has to replace me or I'd never be Free. I almost feel guilty but. She goes to every court hearing and now knows he's abusive. So she's been warned. Reading my psych evaluation that says I'm a victim of DV is pretty hard for her to claim ignorance
@@recoveringsoul755 don’t worry once upon a time we where new supply they don’t magically change she will unfortunately find out the way we had too . Free yourself heal and live and watch ur back that can make them enraged trust me it’s true the best revenge is healing and moving on .
At first I had a whole panic attack, froze then escaped & pretended not to see him even tho he was sitting in the car parked right in front of me. Now, I totally act like he doesn’t exist. I don’t even wave hello lol😂
If he’s with a woman I’m going to hold up a sign that says “Your pH is off because of him girl. RUNNNNNN”
Just kidding. I would go the opposite direction, no eye contact. I don’t acknowledge demons
Whats pH?
I know that’s right. Your body knows
@@narelleme7990 PH balance. Sometimes it gets thrown off if the person you are with sleeps with other people. I was with a cheater for 4 years and had no idea until the end
How this bit about the PH made me HOLLER! Because it’s true! 😂
I know what that pH means thought its something else 🤣🤣🤣
RUN 🏃♂️
Ignore act like I don't see him. Absolutely no reason to even acknowledge him. Though last time he had the audacity to come up beside me and speak to me. In wich case I had to gray rock 🪨 him. Plain and simple
What does gray rock mean?
@@cen808105 make the conversation/interaction boring like a gray rock.
@@imjustapril thank you! 😊
🙌🏾
Mine has finally seemed to stop stalking/texting me after a year of harrassment. If I were to run into him in public I'd probably freeze up, handle it like a champ and then freak out later. Watching your play back for this.
Omg this is exactly what happened to me today! I haven’t seen mine since I dumped him 5 months ago then I walk into a park and he’s sitting there. He looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights. I looked at him and smiled but said nothing! He immediately grabbed his phone like he was texting someone. He knows he did me dirty! I walked away but it still felt like a knife went through my heart I was upset I still felt that way😢. Thanks Lee your videos helped me a lot perfect timing 🙏👍
Was he stalking u?
@@OneWhoKnowz I’m not sure? The first time I figured it’s a public park, but I was supposed to at a bbq there the following evening and my friends came and said he was sitting alone In the park, so I didn’t go to the bbq. I have been hanging out there for years it’s near my house, but I don’t need to be running into him so need to find a place he won’t be at😢
Invisible to me like a yesterday who ain't worth words 💅🏾
Ive noticed narcs dont upgrade so you will always look better than the new supply 😂. They will more than likely take it out on them when they get home OR think about you whilst clapping their cheeks
😂😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That is true, but I really have sympathy for the new supplies because they are being taken advantage of by a parasite
@@nixie66 fuck them they have to learn like we did.
"Same rules apply"
Yes they do an ex of mine called out my name while with the new supply so disrespectful
Omg i just experienced this situation. Thank you for doing this video
🙌🏾🙌🏾
Thanks for the clarification on many issues
I know I need to love myself more and first. I’ll be purchasing the journal, may be the only that will save me or at least help me on my healing journey ❤❤
I wish you had put this video out a couple of weeks ago. He spoke to me in church and I spoke back but kept walking. I spoke because we were in church, now I know better.
@cen808105 It's great that you kept walking and you can ignore him next time, which you obviously know now, even though it seems to go against Christian behaviour.
I'm sure that God, or whoever you believe in, would prefer that you don't encourage the person for self-protection, no matter where you are though!
It reminds me of the last highly narcissistic ex, who was a Christian, yet his behaviour was the total opposite. In fact, my behaviour is more inclined that way and I'm not one.
Luckily, he lives in another state and he owes me a lot of money, which might be working in my favour, if it's keeping him right away from me. 😊
Thank you so much for this video, Lee. All these months I was still not sure 100% whether he was a narcissist but when you explained what a narcissist would do, it was exactly things he had done.
Lee thank you so much for everything you share. My narcissist really broke my heart. He made me feel like he really loved me but kept cheating, lying and demeaning me in sneaky ways. We were together 4 months and talked for 9 months. I wish he would change but I know I can’t do that for him and I know the sweet side of him isn’t real. Going on 5 weeks no contact. Staying strong and taking your advice.
Yes same here, was married for three years, found out he cheated from the beginning and throughout, doing underhanded things, laughing at my trust and naivety about our relationship, once I realized how malignant this entity is towards me and my babies, I bounced when the opportunity came up. It will be almost a month no contact and forever it will stay no contact. Had to cut off all the narcissists surrounding me along with the flying monkeys. Sending you lots of healing energy your way. We all deserve true genuine and loyal love. But it first must come from ourselves. We need to show up for ourselves always despite others' harmful behaviors towards us.
@@Sunlumiinous yes yes yes❤
Stay no contact, friend. I’m getting discarded AGAIN after 3 years. I put a deposit down on my own place yesterday, finally. But it hurts so much. I am a shell of who I used to be. My mental health has never been worse. I wish so badly I would have never talked to him again after he discarded me the first time. Please, don’t waste your life on a person who will never, ever care about you.
@Amanda-yv3on Congratulations on getting your place. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Wishing you so much healing, peace, prosperity, and protection on your new journey to self. 💐🥰🎉🎊🥳
Thank you. Any support means so much right now. It’s been so painful getting to this point, and if he hadn’t discarded me in this particular way again, I’m ashamed to say I’d probably still be thinking there was hope. I have a good therapist and I’m leaning heavily on my friends.
This is so true! It happened with a few narcs in my life after I walked away from them. Whenever they saw me in public, they would immediately look away and pretend to not know who I am. When one of them still owed me money, they would ghost me for months but eventually paid me everything, thank God.
Yeah , I could see them causing a scene in public place . Thanks , for helping us .
He actually treated me like that in public when we were involved so know I can treat the same way 👍
I do think they can get desperate and want to harm you as well… so keep that in mind when you randomly see them, very unpredictable
Narcissist ppl I avoid them like the plague. I did not trust your message at 1st. But over time, I realized you were up front. And is being helpful. So, I find you are likeable, and sometimes, funny. I hope you are healing and becoming your true authentic self. Self discovery is no picnic. But liking yourself is beautiful.
Great Advice Lee! God Bless You
I've learned to hone my skills in any possible situation where I might encounter the ex narc. I've worked in customer service for YEARS, and have had to deal with some extremely rude people. What I've found to be most effective - flat tone of voice, emotionless stare, straight to the point response, stand your ground, and then walk away. People hate not being able to get you to sink to their level of immaturity!!! 😉💪
Narcs hate logical people , people who live and make decisions according to reality
I snobbed him and turned my head away. He was with the new supply. He only wanted to say hi to get supply from me and supply from making her jealous..no empathy.
I gave him neither.
Later I heard that he felt butt hurt by it and couldnt believe I did that 😂
Mind you, he cheated on me, dumped me and switched me out for her.
Hi Lee! Your videos have honestly helped me tremendously to heal by understanding 1. That I'm not crazy lol, so validation was a huge help. 2. I see I'm not in this alone, so through my battles I have become stronger and that has slowly created my independence... I wanted to say Thank you 💕.... I'm still working on it but I'm getting there. I've been in this for 26 years, my youngest just graduated school and is getting ready to start pre- vet courses.
Please give us a heads up if you decide to autograph any of your books I would love to purchase one! 😇 Thanks again!!
Ugh - my ex would say, "You can still be cordial. You don't have to be mean just because you don't like me." So aggravating. Bye.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I needed this
Thank you! Awesome advice.🎉
Yes my Brother you are my favourite self aware narc. LOL.😆 May God continue to bless your work; your work is amazing, thank you.
@elleniandersongrey8367 He's drummed it into his follower's heads! 😆
I saw my ex-narc last summer. I pulled into a space at a supermarket in a bordering state, the area where we both grew up and where her daughter now lives and I travel to work in. I parked and turned off the ignition then saw the make, model and color pickup truck she drove when I last saw her four years earlier. It was parked on the next row of vehicles over. Then I saw her walking to the back of the truck, walking with her very masculine swagger, something I found very unattractive about her (didn't do when she was younger and not a self-professed "redneck"). She was grabbing bags of bottles to recycle; hardcore alcoholic now.
I started up the car, pulled out of the space and left the area, coming back later after she finished her business. The awesome thing I learned from this close encounter is that I didn't feel any anger or hate, no heartbreak or sadness, just indifference. I didn't find her attractive anymore (she's technically still hot at 50, physically more attractive than many woman her age). I picked right up on the swagger and the resting bitch face, the sort of "relaxed scowl" she has. I felt nothing except a desire to not deal with her even on the most casual level, and even that was a very detached feeling of not wanting to bother.
I've since had another similar encounter and I'm amused to find just how much I don't really care anymore . . . even enough to enter into my "Healing Road" journal, which has become more of a journal about my music and a document about life in general, something born of PTSD and now more biographical more than anything. I only rarely write about certain things on various anniversaries, and not from the same angle I used to because my life has changed so much and I've accomplished so many different things. This fall it'll be five years since "no contact." Although there was one brief contact and one "near miss," it all feels very different now and life is so much better. It took 40 years to get where I'm at now. I learned: closure = acceptance. Onward and upward.
I see one and you can see his anger still and he stole from me. Another hides, because he stole from me also. I find it amusing because they are pretty much dead to me.
I don’t understand how a narcissist can feel shame when they do what they do
After divorce. He came to me he was crying. He was telling he won't be able to see me. He told he can't live without me.. Suddenly he came to me and he hugged me. I was shocked..I ignored him
Mine did the same and one month later happily with a new supply :)
Gm Hammock, Happy Father's Day to you🎉!
Hammock, this is definitely the video that I had to see! Had post questions about an day ago about an situation that has happened to me before & I know it will happen again due to the nature of the various events that the narc have to attend when I attend. Thank you! I thought I was wrong for keeping my sanity by ignoring or/& walking away. GOD bless you. Hagd😊
Also Hammock gotten your self love journal last month...must confess I didn't look into it fully until just last Thursday 😬but I am going to start the exercises in there to help build me up. Again thanks 😊
stay strong out here and protect yourself
Thank you Lee because you gave good advice. I use it too. It worked perfectly. Two weeks after I broke up with my ex he showed up at a place he knew I use to go every Friday with my friends. He came in and I looked at him (not in a bad way) but just an acknowledgment ok I see you and know your here and immediately turned to my friends and never looked at him again. I didn’t know where he was or what he was doing but I also made sure the local waitress and bartender knew to sit me and my friends far back and to not sit him nowhere near us. Luckily, it was a long waiting time for him to sit and he got so pissed off that he took off after hour minutes of waiting like a bat out of hell I later heard. He also got in his truck in the parking lot so pissed off that he left screeching tires and all. One patron said to the bartender Whrs wrong with that guy he was pissed as hell. I hadn’t blocked him because it was recent and had decided to keep him unblocked so I could read his texts and ensure his mind wasn’t thinking or saying anything in a violent manner or any red flags in case I had to call
Police, make a report or get a restraining order. I kept him unblocked for a month and even though he texts novels my way or tried calling me and left messages with devaluing words and being very mean there was nothing suggesting he would become a stalkier person violent. So after a month I blocked him for good. I haven’t ran into him again but I was prepared and thanks to you it worked perfectly. If I see him again it will be the same thing for me. He texted me very angry that he didn’t understand why I had to ignore him and why couldn’t we just be friends. He was and is not my friend but I didn’t and never answered any of his texts (novels) or phone calls. It was tempting not to text back and set him starlight but he was just looking for away to get me to communicate with him and I knew that. Anything to draw me back to talk or argue or whatever. The drama crap. Thanks again. Appreciate it.
I needed this. I wanted to know how to be. My thanks to you 😊
That was super helpful! Thank you Lee. Now I know what to do if I see or have a run in with the ex narcissist/ abuser
you’re welcome
You're metaphors are amazing.
I ran into my narc in public 2 years after I stopped talking to him. He said that if I find you with another man I will beat you because we never broke up. I told him that if he did that then I was going to teach him a lesson he would never forget. After he left I had to ask those that I was with whether he was telling the truth that I ever went out with him because I just could not believe that I ever went out with that person. I really felt nothing.
I am now going through a divorce from the person I eventually married. Haven’t physically seen my emotionally and psychologically abusive husband for almost a year now. He decided to attend a parent teacher conference online. He never attends parents teachers’s conferences so I was surprised that this time he did. I attended in person he attended online. I spent the meeting looking directly at the teacher and never once looked his direction. I just ignored the computer as if it did not exist. I asked the teacher a question and he answered only that he did not answer what I had asked. I did not acknowledge him but I just looked directly at the teacher and said that’s not what I asked and repeated the question. I have told him if he needs to talk about our children he should send an email or a text message. I have nothing to talk to him about except the kids and the divorce. I try to be positive and friendly in my communication with him although all I get is harassment and threats.
Mine does the same. Very scared cause I just left him after he punched me in the nose today. I had enough. I going through so much. I don't know how us ppl do this.
@@ashcash8539 oh my so sorry you got punched. Please stay away from that psycho. Do not let him near you 🙏🏻
I Started Ignoring him while we Lived together😂. Then When I got well -in 2021 I kicked him to the Streets. BEST DECISION I EVER MADE.3 Monthz ago I opened the door & There he was Smiling .He rushed in got Naked And I threw his clothes outside “GET OUT!!” He looked Confused But stepped out😂😂😂
"My little journal!"😄🤣Love mine!🤩
Thankfully this will never happen because we live in two different states. But, if I ever did see him, I would do what he always did to me, act like he's invisible. 👻🤷🏻♀️
You seem to always tlk to me. You always describe my life.
My recent ex tried to avoid me in the gas station. I saw him. He knew I was the one that walked thru the door. He walked as if he didn't see me and was past me, but at the last second stoped took a step back and said hey gave me a hug said he still had me number and would txt me.
2 days later I got a txt from his cousin asking if he could give him my number.
Lmao 🤣 he could have kept walking and not speak. It would not have bothered me.
And he lied right there to my face. Said he still had my number. It's been over 2 yrs since I saw him last. But anyway j told him not to txt me that the only reason he spoke was bc he thought it was polite. But I told him next time walk past me as if we never knew each other bc thats what I can and will do from now on. I havent heard from him again.
Your answer to my questions are ALWAYS on time... thank you my friend ❤️ 🎉
Love your Intro and a smile. Like a Radio DJ.😂 so appreciative of the confirming advice about being cordial always felt like being cordial is considered to be brief, period. Hi, maybe nod but always in motion. 😂
Thanks for confirming.
Be well.
We were married 24yrs.. he cheated and I left he married the woman.. i went no contact.. fast forward 3 yrs our grandson’s birthday party was the first time I seen them together and seen her, they sat right behind me.. kissing, hugging, taking selfies in Chucky Cheese… I never let them see me sweat.. 6 mths later our other grandson birthday party he didn’t want to go because my family would be there and my boyfriend, (my family lives in a different state and couldn’t make the other party, my boyfriend was working )so he didn’t want to feel uncomfortable and give them dirty looks… but it was ok for them to make it uncomfortable for me and our children that was there and had to be around that for the first time…
selfies in Chucky Cheese 😂 acting like one of kids 🤣 straight up played himself 🤣😜
@@snareproof most definitely 🤣🤣🤣I forgot too include.. they were dressed like they just stepped out the GQ magazine 🤦🏻♀️🤣🤣🤣
I'm very proud of you, you inspire me to help others in my problematic situations and manorisms...
This is what it's all about....putting it on the table, so we can help eachother out.. .
Hey, thank you for reminding me, cause you didn't have too do anything, so you get a huge virtual hug from me and a kiss on the check sir!!!!
Hahahahahahahaha Amen Abba!!!
You prove that even you peirce through all typed of hearts and offer healing and conviction....you are worthy Father God!!!!
Thank you🎉🎉🎉
I never had to say a word directly to him😁 I let the Law do the talking for me😏😁💯
I saw her today at work as she was walking to the park, & like Lee said at 7:27 she put her hand on her face to pretend like she didn't see me looking up away in the process. I kept walking stoicly and ignored her. Stay strong fellas
The best part of this video is where you almost said to call OSHA hahahahahahaha. I love you dude....a narc is truly a chemical hazard! Hahahaha the best. Imma buy you a chocolate pop tart. You're the best!
I recently plucked up the courage to block after a traumatic end to the relationship and continuing to be used for 2 years. It has bothered me what I do if I see him. Thank you for this advice Lee 😊
@Piscesmermaid Good on you for taking the huge step and blocking the ex. I wish you all the very best for your now brighter future without him as well!
It's normal to feel distressed, if you do see him somewhere, yet it's a good idea to learn how to hide it, which Lee Hammock mentioned and I'm still working on it myself.
I want to add that I love your username and my precious daughter, who is in her 40s now, is a Pisces too. 🐟
This just happened to me....hope I handled it right
💪🏽
@@CJ.Calabritto thank you!💜
I'm literally scared of seeing him especially if I'm alone and he's with the new supply
There's no need to be scared of these people. Ignore and keep moving with life, stay busy, learn, heal. If you have to carry protection like oc spray or take classes of mixed martial arts like Tae Kwon do, boxing, etc go for it it's a tremendous confidence booster.
Thanks, this is great info, i was wondering about this👍
Glad it was helpful!
There are two ex-narcissists co-workers I cross paths with, and I never say anything to them, and I just keep on moving. And if I am in the store shopping and I see them I just do my thing and keep shopping.
You are really good on this topic. 🎉
When I lived in the same state as my narc ex-just hours away-, I decided that if I ever saw him again, I’d greet him with a big smile (happy I was no longer with him); he didn’t discard (he was one of those who would have stayed for ever if I continued to keep accepting the abuse). Ended up with another narc who lived in the same town who discarded me after disability for a new shiny non-disabled bauble. No skin off of my teeth to be happy in her presence (if I couldn’t avoid her) and treat her like the decent human being I used to think she was capable of being. I learned long ago when working with people who knew I got their narcissistic number and took an instant disliking to me that not being affected by the dark looks given helped me feel more confident rather than giving them the satisfaction of thinking they affected me. (In the end, they didn’t affect me.) So sick of people like that thinking they can manipulate you/me with their approval / disapproval.
I never ran into him, but I did run into her at a funeral and a party and was friendly (and she was trepidatious because I’d caught her cheating). It was obvious that people were wondering how I would deal with her.
It's hard to deal with when you work at the same place. You're always trying not to run into them 🙄 but the harder you try the more you run into them. Whole situation is so exhausting 😩.
Unbearable. Can you not change your job? I know it’s not that easy but I couldn’t deal with that so triggering
Mine thrives on being top dog and making others uncomfortable. When I left I was able to expose him & he lost a few things because of it. I then changed my job, number, & car all in the same day because of him. That was a couple years ago. Saw him not too long ago. I was visiting family when he pulled up kitty corner at someone else's home. He noticed me cooking on the grill. When he got back on his motorcycle he drove by slow, smiled & waved, looked like he was gonna pull over. But I flipped him off with his buddy ridding right behind him. His face dropped & he sped off. He scares me but I'm not gonna give him the joy & satisfaction of seeing it from me. He'd love it.
Idk why but I'm very anxious about running into him one day. I try to prepare myself to avoid getting upset. My desire is to be friendly and go forward with my head held high.. that's it, that's all
Look, right past them, don't acknowledge u see them even if u do,... THAT'S A DEATH BLOW.. TO THEIR JELLY FOR A HEART, AND THEIR STRAW FOR A BRAIN..
One method of N🚫 Contact is inaccessibility to you …. which entails completely avoiding the Narc and always being strategic about it.
When i walk past my ex i dont look at him but make sure i have big happy smile on my face.