I went on a writing retreat... here's what I learnt
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 30. 05. 2023
- A little different from usual, but hopefully there is something useful here x
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đ What are you studying? I am set to start my masters in English Literature at Oxford University this autumn. Last year, I finished my English Literature degree at Exeter and am currently on a gap year.
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The key to being a good writer is to be a bad one. Unfortunately we were brainwashed to believe the nonsense of 'quality not quantity', but the truth is quality is achieved through quantity. You'll learn and improve much more by writing rubbish than you ever can writing something that's already amazing. A fun exercise is to just allow yourself to be bad, put 100% of your focus on speed, and 0% on quality. This is how you achieve the state of flow when it just pours out and you end up doing your best. That's what flow really means, it comes out quickly. It's surprising if you think about it how often this works out, how our best things were usually put down pretty fast. I mean everyone's different, but I've noticed it's pretty common.
This is such good advice! Thank you for sharing this!!
I came across this research(it was mentioned in the book Thinking, fast and slow)... the same thing was mentioned in the context of photographers. A class was divided into 2 groups and one group was asked to focus on quality, just one good picture was enough to get that grade and the other half was asked to focus on quantity. The students were asked to focus on quality read more and researched more and practiced lesser. The students asked to focus on quantity took a lot of photographs, but as they liked photographing, they learnt in the process and the students who were asked to produce quantity had better photographs in the end!
Thanks for this! I used to love writing as a child. For years now, I've been so terrified of writing something bad that I just don't write anymore. I decided that I'm going to fill a notebook with total crap, just having fun writing without judging myself at all. Perfection is really a sickness.
Wow that you so much it was a very good advice!! â€â€it made feel good inside and to not be hard on yourself as a beginner writer!!!
I just had this realization a while ago, when I started painting more regularly and I noticed how much easier it got by time. In all areas we are always told to try and practice yet, when it comes to writing it seems to be different and everyone (including ourselves) expect it to be good. I thought, if I have a scetchbook full of crap and try&error, why should it be different when it comes to writing?
I can't really afford to book a writing retreat during my studies so I made my own by going into the garden, where I just have my little table, the sounds of the birds and no Wifi to distract me :) I do like the idea of talking to other people during these retreats, that's something you rarely get otherwise!
To be honest I think itâs better done at home.
You develop self-control and self-discipline.
Itâs not like you donât have access to all the distractions such as the Internet rather you intentionally focussing on getting rid of them. Turning on screen time limit putting your phone inside power down your phone whatever the case may be. It is not something thatâs done because circumstance but rather itâs a conscious effort.
I also believe this is more beneficial. You donât leave the writing retreat and go back into old habits even if you had a week without the Internet. Rather you in green is habit into your life in the setting of your home your garden and they become something more intentional. You should go live every time you can because you want to. Itâs not a special treat you get when you pay for a retreat or go on vacation but rather is something you can do every day. Something that can actually be beneficial.
Also I am legally blind
beautiful what you did Siocain
Someone else may have said this already, but I wanted to comment on your point about leading with character. I think this applies to so much more than just writing books. It's the reason we all love your videos and come back to them over and over. You're sometimes apologetic about the content of your videos (too short, too boring, too whatever) but none of that really matters, because we're all rooting for the leading lady and are interested in her story, no matter how mundane it sometimes seems. đ I hope you can remember that next time you feel insecure about a video. It's you we're here for; not just exciting or enlightening content! â€
Zoe, I can't tell you how much this comment means - it feels like I weirdly just really needed to read this right this second - and I've actually printed your comment to keep safe. Thank you for taking the time to be kind x
Well said!
I've always been so curious about what writing retreats were actually like! Lovely to hear your thoughts
As an introvert of sixty-two years, I love your description. Yes, I socialise, just rarely.
Your dopamine detox idea is quite popular at the moment. I ordered Dr. Anna Lembke's (she led the studies on this subject) new book 'Dopamine Nation' after hearing her on a podcast. Coming off social media for periods is imperative for good mental health. As an old person, I find it quite easy, but I know all of the youngsters I train find it almost impossible and actually get stressed when out of contact with the web and phone masts.
Thank you for another informative, and charming video.
I love watching you grow over the years. How you describe that being productive is not always the most important and that deadlines can sometimes be pushed back or wait. I hope this doesn't come of wrong but I see it as character growth đ You seem to be a lot more relaxed while still dedicated of course and I think that's great!
Hi Ruby - Oh my word! So many of the things youâve said on this video resonate with me, especially your thoughts regarding achievements. When we are young and see other young people succeed, but we are far from it, for whatever reason, we sometimes question our own worth, etc. We shouldnât! In fact, no matter how old we are, we should always believe itâs never too late to achieve anything in this life! Thank you for being such an inspiration. Love, V x
You are just so lovely in your outlook and attitudes about life and writing. And how sweet to prepare fresh scones for your parents. đ
Ruby, you are an amazing human being and you always motivate me. You look very happy and calm after this retreat.
Thank you so much ruby for every single video you make, I feel joy and excitement every time I see the notification and cannot wait for the next one â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
i'd love a video dedicated to your experience with writing, like what you write, your writing process, journaling, book writing etc â€ïž
A truly delightful video. It reminded me of when I took some time off social media during the first covid lockdown and lived life slower for a while, noticing the smaller things in life and holding things that were more important to me a little bit closer. Your point on kindred spirits also resonated with me - first year uni student and Iâve found it difficult to find people with deeply aligned interests. But you reminded me that I will find people that value similar things in life, and that maybe I already have found some.
I loooove the videos where you just sit down and share your thoughtsâ€â€ enjoyed it a lot
That cottage is stunning, Ruby! As a Canadian, a writing retreat in the English countryside is an unreal dream. So glad you could have such a peaceful time!
I find this so interesting because Canada is already so beautiful, I canât imagine thinking the UK is somewhere youâd want to visit đ But I suppose the grass is always greener lol
@Mina-nd4ik Canada is indeed beautiful! But there's something about the UK that is so literary and romantic... haha the grass is always greener
As a fellow Canadian, I share your dream of a UK retreat. The first time I visited England, I had an overwhelming sense of 'coming home'. That's probably because both of my grandfathers immigrated to Canada from England. I found myself wondering why on earth they would do that. England is beautiful. So much history! A writer's retreat is my dream too!
Ruby, your insight on space is extremely relatable. I always find myself quietly but deeply affected by the geographical sense of my surrounding, and it never really occurred to me that it's pretty significant in determining my thoughts/mood! Lovely lessons shared btw. It is always pleasant to hear your thoughts.
thank you - great video again! would love to see one about how you journal xx
Can hardly wait to read the new book by our soulful, erudite and beautiful authoress!
Dear Ruby, thank you so much for sharing your experience in so natural and beautiful form. Your videos always make me feel and inspired for my creative and educational projectsđ€
Thank you so much for this Ruby!! - At a crossroads in my life and needed some beautifully put encouraging words
i love your vlogs! This video was great, well done and helpful. Thanks for sharing. Love your videos.
ruby ruby i went to the exact same place on a poetry retreat last summer!!!! genuinely the best week of my life
Absolutely amazing Ruby!
thank you so much for what you said about kindred spirits... you are so eloquent and thoughtful and this video was just what i needed to hear so thank you and i am so glad that you've found some kindred spirits of your own
I deleted all of my social media a month and half ago (deactivated my reading ig account) and I just feel so present every single day. Like itâs insane. No anxiety or any crazy thoughts like I used to have.
That's how life is supposed to be. Social media can make people insane.
I finally found the right word for me, ambivert, a person who has right balance of both introvert n extrovert in them! I love socialising but love my own company also, and I love each side of me that goes with that. Totally understand you with that
these were some beautiful takeaways and little pieces of advice, thank u for sharing
Ahh U posted I always love when u posttt!
This was a very interesting and helpful video. Thank you!
This was an incredibly valuable video. â€
With reducing small decisions, I really recommend having a recurring meal plan that you can repeat every 1 or 2 weeks. Of course modify it as you wish to mix it up sometimes, but having the basic ideas down helps me a lot! For example, Iâd have oatmeal/porridge written down for multiple breakfasts but that could be flavored many different ways depending on what Iâm in the mood for, but it at least gives you the base idea to go off of! :)
So many wonderful reminders in this video
thank you so much for this video!
lovely video Ruby! The retreat sounds lovely! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and feelings with what you experienced. Thank you so much for that. I look forward to your videos. A vlog sounds lovely. Summer vlog, Morning summer vlog, Summer Reading Vlog, Summer Evening vlog, What I eat in a day or week in the summer sounds lovely too. Summer book recommendations or your summer tbr and tea recommendations. Can't wait to see your garden update! Lovely as always! Hello from PEI :)
The whole switching off business is a hard ask in today's world, but it is a good thing to try, and gives you the perspective of what life was like before we let technology into it. Rural Devon is one of the pleasantest places to go; inspiring, tranquil and largely unspoiled by modernity, so it is no wonder you loved it!
Hey Ruby
What a wonderful video.
Thank you
Conversations with people is an essential to me for my writing. Itâs opens more ideas. A facial expression, And phrase one uses, A simple word etc Always be willing to step out a bit or step back if socializing is a problem for getting things done. â€
This was such a godo video, so many interesting insights!!
Ooh I would love you to explore indecisiveness and making decisions cause this is also something I struggle with. Maybe you could do a video about implementing techniques (if youâre able to find some) and see if it helps! Anyway, loved this video, definitely gave me a lot to think about âșïž
this was beyond insightful thank you for sharing
You are a very wise soul!
Seems like you had a really lovely re-TREAT! :))
I love the idea of writing to yourself when you go away!
Decisions - I can relate to this. Advice - I think often we really know the answer if we just listen to our gut instinct, or be still with the question. Most of the time we know what we want/ should do, we just have to tune in to that answer.
That straw hat in the background is such a vibe!
you study really hard ruby. and your a great person â€
You're so happy!
Ruby you are so so cool!! I loved this video
There is nothing yummier than an English scone and blackberry fruit makes them all the more irresistible! The extreme stresses people feel is often created by the instantaneous access to information we think so necessary but exponentially aggravates personal peace and tranquility. Thanks for lot's of good thoughts and ideas how to relax and enjoy life more.
We hope you're doing well. May God bless you.
Writing a letter is an interesting idea. I also get a lot of insights and perspective when I go away from home and I keep a diary, however, letters could be better as you can keep those whereas thoughts and insights in a journal can get lost in time even though I started marking mine.
I might do some sort of combination of the two.
I do dopamine detoxes often and they help a lot. Would love to see you do a social media/dopamine detox and vlog it or do another video like this about what youâve learnt
I really like this form of video â€
I hate making decisions as well! For me, these habits help:
1- having a capsule wardrobe (only owning the pieces I truly like and feel comfortable in, it's almost like a uniform and I love it - at first I had the fear of being boring, but actually it helped defining my style and because of it people know better what I like: f.e. when my niece draws me, she knows how I usually clothe and how I am the most me, if that makes sense)
2- having one of things like perfume. I used to have different bottles, but life is just so much easier when you have one. Just buy another when it's finished!
3- having a standard drink choice for parties and such. When I feel like drinking something else, I allow myself to choose something else, off course, but if I don't know what I want, i refer to my standard choice!
4- if the situation is suitable, I tell people that I don't like making the decision. For example when people ask which way and you told them you don't mind, they will often say: no, really, what do yĂłu want? I simply would say: Honestly, I want for you to choose, because I really don't like making decisions. It makes a great conversation topic too! Allthough it can be bothersome for people if you never ever say what you want and delegate your difficult choice to them ;)
Hope this helps! Loved the video!
Read the book the four agreements. It is a really great book in general but also touches upon a lot of the ideas mentioned in this video. Such as slow living and not caring what other people think but as well theyâre amazing topic. Once youâre done reading it here I am ready to discuss
Could you do a video on how to read a novel to discover how the author is crafting the story yet still feel the joy of being immersed in itâs world.
Im an introvert but i like spending with friends now and again. So understand where you're coming from. đ
Thank you so much for your lovely videos đ„°đ„°đ„°đ„°đ„°đ„°
Beautiful location! I'm not a writer, but I'd love something like this where I could just READ, in peace, without distraction!
I love your vlogs... thank you for such wonderful videos. I would like to know how can we keep ourself motivated to study for exams???
exam anxiety makes me feel unmotivated
I haven't really tried doing things in different spaces, mostly 'cause I haven't had the opportunity to travel much, yet, but I can see how different places can make you feel like a different person. Sometimes I will walk into a space and feel majestic or feel like I've forgotten whatever has been worrying me before.
Sometimes when we compare ourselves to others, we don't realize how much we've already accomplished. I do the same thing where you eliminate little decisions and have thiings preplanned for you, partially, because I like sameness, but also because it helps me focus on what I really want to do. Then, when I stop being as busy, I'll go out of my way to do the things that I restricted myself from doing while I was intent on my work.
I miss your vlog style videos of your day. Can we get another one of those? â€
I think that one of the best ways to reduce the amount of choices we have to make during the day, is to actually have less to choose from.
For example, if you have 10 highlighters, you will have to make a choice every time you need to highlight something. But if you only have one, you will just grab it and use it.
It doesn't seem like much, but it has really helped me a lot! đ
I donât have solid writing skills but oh my goodness do I need a writing retreat! What a great idea! Maybe one day in the future when I have the money and freedom. A social housing association flat where I rot everyday is far from where I want to be but believe me Iâm trying!
I find the best way for decision fatigue is they have a daily uniform when it comes to your clothes. As well as set up a routine so you know exactly what to do and when.
When you cook always make leftover so you donât have to decide on your busy days. Just have a go to that you can grab quickly and you donât have to think when it comes to meals. Think a uniform for everything in your life.
Some of the things you said are definitely food for thought. It seemed to be a good experience. That cottage in the middle of nowhere looked amazing. Is it a place you can go to whenever you want booking or renting or is it a place just linked to the activity you made? thanks Ruby for sharing.
How did you travel to rural Devon without a car? Interested to hear more slow travel info
Such a beautiful retreat location.... I also want to go to such a place and spend a few days doing absolutely nothing...
You are extraordinary đ
Wish I could do a writing retreat. Love that cottage so much! :)
Isnât it stunning!
I will be your subscriber forever â€
I am homeschooled your videos are so comforting good video
I would love to go on a writing retreat but i was never sure how to go about it đ x
Hi Ruby, what does your process in formulating an idea for your stories look like? Right now beginning feels like the hardest part x
Hello Ruby, could you make a video on how you deal with perfectionism? And what are your thoughts on it? (in terms of academics and filming videos)
Some other ideas that I have are:
1. How do you deal with the negative and positive aspects of Instagram? I wanted to stop using it but I've heard that it helps with networking, so I'm confused.
2. A video on how to practically implement Parkinson's Law
A nice idea. A will also try to do some things slowly so I can enjoy them more. :-)
Hey Ruby! I have looked a lot into decision making fatigue and how this impacts our minds, routines and choices. Apparently a lot of "successful" people like presidents, prime ministers, CEO's etc. try to eliminate really simple things to free up their minds to make bigger decisions. For example, deciding what to wear, what to eat and creating a plan the night before work, study or meetings. This way, our brain power isn't being used on the smaller tasks and allows more ability to focus on bigger tasks and activities when they come around. I have tried it personally and feels like it makes a big difference and I feel less overwhelmed as a person that is already very indecisive, especially when things don't go to plan!
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my CZcams channel 9 months ago about self development. Now I have 1,572 subs and > 1,000 hours of watch time. I know itâs not comparable with others but Iâm still proud I started because Iâve been learning so many lessons that I could havenât learned without getting started in the 1st place.
13:30 SO TRUE!!
I like your kindred spirit idea
Am I the only one who finds it weird that Ruby is an adult? Now don't get me wrong, but I just tried to imagine how I would feel like watching this video if I just newly discovered her. I'd think that she's AN adult woman. But since I've been watching her grow on this channel since she was maybe 15 or 16, she just feels like a peer. It's so strange and yet amazing
I get what you are saying
Not all adults are the same, some have childlike qualities and retain them for a long time or even forever. Paradoxically those people are often also well ahead of others their own age in their emotional and intellectual development, which is what sets them apart from the herd. I feel like Ruby would relate perfectly to someone who is 15 or 16, and equally relate well to people much older than her.
Ali Abdaal posted a great video of his Trident system, which can help reduce decision fatigue. Also, having a list of favourite outfits (taking the weather into consideration and scheduling each for specific days) might help save time and energy. In general, one of the quickest ways to make decisions is to toss a coin, roll dice, or make the choice you feel would be in your best interest. You might also consider doing a quick scribble of pros and cons, depending on what sort of decision it is. You donât always want to leave yourself at the mercy of other people or potentially disappointing or compromising circumstances.
Great video! I was hoping youâd make one on your retreat. It inspires me to write more. đâïžđ
Thank you so much for this advice! And Iâll have to watch Aliâs video :) I love the idea of just flipping a coin sometimes!
@@RubyGranger8One more recommendation: Dr. Benjamin Hardy (PhD) posts videos and has written books on optimising productivity including focussing on oneâs future self now, dividing time between deep work and deep rest, and 10x-ing results by eliminating the 80% for the 20%. Iâm currently reading Be Your Future Self Now and find it quite helpful in expanding my context so far. đ
Thanks boss
Have a productive day đčđ§ââïžđșđđâđ đ
Ugh exactly I hate making decisions. I think no matter what I choose, there will be at least one person to tell me I made a horrible choiceđ
I loved all the things u said btwâ€
Rubyinski, you will write your novel, rest assured. It may simmer FOR YEARS on the back burner, or it may be what you already have. It may be a starting over. The important thing -- and this is really true, not just a cliche -- is that you like what you've written. That you LOVE what you've written. That you want to BE your favorite character who you think is JUST SO COOL. "I want to be HER!" (Or HIM!) Do you feel a rush when you read that one passage that touches all the emotions and sends CHILLS down your spine? Do you reread CHAPTER 27 and think "I am a F***ing-A WRITER!"? Have NO FEAR, Ruby. No matter how contentious, explicit, or provocative the subject matter -- OWN IT. Forget about modesty, put yourself on the line, because even though the emotional buttons may be YOUR emotional buttons, some emotions are UNIVERSAL. And the big emotion is LOVE in all its forms. LOVE drives any story, keeps the reader engaged, touches the heart. And when the reader finishes she will scan the cover and think, "Ah yes, Ruby Granger wrote this. Fine fine job."
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Iâm not used to learnt lol đâ€đ
American so learned đ
Thank you for saying that.
"Using social media more intentionally" - great mantra, Ruby, but I'd apply that thinking to the entire internet, not social media alone. Ditching my smartphone for a dumb phone was absolutely life-changing for me: as you say, life seems simpler, and time spent online is undoubtedly more meaningful and productive for being intentional rather than habitual.
In fact, I've also noticed that I've become a lot more patient since only going online intentionally. When people live their lives online by default, a by-product is that they become accustomed to instant gratification - whether it's the dopamine rushes you talked about or the expectation that you can click 'Buy' and your purchase will arrive within 24 hours; consequently, in real life, people are now much more impatient when they don't get what they were expecting **immediately**. But, as you point out, things can wait and it's important to recognise that . đ
This is such a good point - and Iâve never thought of it like this before so thank you. There is potential danger in how convenient everything is⊠I might have to trial your way of using the internet sometime :) x
I always love ur videos and I feel that you're old beyond ur years. I'm 29 though and I wanna know how old you are?? â€â€
You are wise beyond your ye
The English countryside is a good place to write because it gives you more scope of imagination to think about what you are going to write.
absolutely, i truly believe the english countryside is one of the most magical places for writing!
It's so beautiful!
Enjoyable video
I have a best friend, a few situational friends and⊠Iâm just sad I suck at relationships I guess (youâve no idea how many Iâve been in, Iâm around your age, Ruby). I hate making choices too, I always leave it to others, my best friend hates that, always wants me to decide things, I just donât like it, paralysis of choice I guess
What do you do for work Ruby? Cant remember what you said about work. You did say in a video but i cant remember.
How to read hard fiction books?
I really like the detailed explanation, very clear and bright. The 23-year-old woman pours out her heart through writing. This English literature graduate tells his story of how she started writing from scratch.
Becoming a writer is certainly not easy, it takes perseverance and courage to face all the challenges that exist, practicing self-taught. It's okay because it's normal.
Even though she is still young, the young woman's talent as a writer has begun to be honed. In fact, she is now continuing his study assignments to the master level. What a struggle.
It is a must, when later she will become a famous literary writer. Or it could be, she will become a lecturer at his alma mater, hopefully that dream will come true one day.
Where is that gorgeous luggage bag fromđđđ
Did you go to a specific place or company? If so can you put a link in a pinned comment or something?
đ€
First one to comment đđ†lots of love from India Ruby sister
Hello my friend
I wanna ask you where are you from