To be fair, the dildo scene is hilarious, and that actor absolutely nailed the delivery given that it was just a few lines. I initially thought the actor was the larger gay fella from Modern Family, but when they showed him again I immediately recognized him as the dildo guy too.
Like a serial killer who has never been caught. They can't remember their grandchildren's graduation but they remember where they buried their victims decades ago.
Yeah movies love to make medieval clothing dark and drab, but almost everyone wore bright, really gaudy colours. It would probably look quite silly to modern eyes
@@TMNewtBoy I think modern people have the impression that everything back then was really drab because all the artifacts from those times have aged and faded over the years
The English considers them girly for washing once a week, and in the Chronicles of the Arab Ibn Fadlan he "questioned" their hygiene. Apparently they all washed from the same water.
These guys didn't even catch on to the fact that Amleth is an anagram of Hamlet. If you ever want a case study of Dunning Kruger just watch this video.
To be fair, Star Trek has NEVER cared about their prime directive. Even in TOS, whenever they find a new civilization, the first thing they start doing is f-king with it.
I think beer is basically a prerequisite to advanced civilization. Why did the Europeans colonize North America? Beer and mead expedited the brain evolution
They really hung up on cleanliness! People use to bathe and clean themselves all throughout history, had massive public bathhouse and laws mandating showering at least once a week. During so, vikings were famously clean, English even write how often they bathe and wash their hair and how good they smell. Nobody likes to stink not now, not then
Yeah I was getting annoyed when they kept talking about how dirty "they should have looked". Humans didn't just live in dirt because they lived thousands of years ago, humans have been very clean for a very long time.
I regularly cringe when these Fraud Hacks start pontificating on a film's historical verisimilitude. It's obvious they're not interested in studying history, which is quite alright, but they keep fellating their own feet in these instances. Still love me some Fraud Hacks, even with some face palm deliveries.
My dad watched Northman with his other boomer friend and both came back saying "it sucks! It wasn't like Vikings at all!" and I think I understood then why good movies are rarely made
Normies think vikings are cocky dude-bros who laugh heartily while eating turkey legs, drinking ale, and hilariously flirt with busty sassy serving maidens, all while having modern American morals (individuality, freedom, equality).
The idea that historically most teeth were rotten is actually a pretty big misconception. People still thought to clean their teeth long before toothpaste was around, they couldn't do it as effectively but their diets caused way less tooth decay than ours do anyway.
yeah toothbrushes really weren't as necessary for the thousands of years we weren't shoving 9000 pounds of processed sugar and acidic sodas down our fat gullets every day
I learned only recently that anthropologists can identify agricultural societies by the presence of cavities in teeth. Eating grain is what causes tooth decay, not just refined sugar. Vikings certainly washed, yes, but they probably would have had rotten teeth as well, although perhaps not as bad as WWI soldiers.
@@cariboubearmalachy1174 Thing is most things made with grain would also have a fair amount of grit and sand, unavoidable since grains were ground with stones into flour. So chewing on that would mess up your teeth pretty hard.
About the Northman, and how the actors look: people throughout history (generally) didn't like being dirty if they could help it. They weren't like the peasants from Monty Python, just wallowing in mud all day. And to top it off, the Norse (at least from descriptions of vikings from period sources) were described as well-groomed.
In fact, medieval people were much cleaner than the folks of the Early Modern period, because the Puritans and Catholics post-Protestant Reformation both got all weird about washing and exposing the body in general. People in 1200 had public baths they could go to, but people in 1700 were probably going on several months of filth!
And since they had no sugar, and were only on a meat and veg diet, people had surprisingly good teeth, especially considering they usually died in their 30's or 40's.
@@frollothewhite people actually generally lived later than that if they survived childhood, into their 50s and 60s. The low average life expectancy in medieval Europe was largely a result of widespread infant mortality.
I'm glad Jay took a moment to mention Willem Dafoe's performance in The Northman. I still believe he was born specifically so someone can play roles like these, 'cause he was great.
I thought that when I was new to the channel but I've seen lots of people here say its all scripted and rehearsed. If that's true then they're great actors because the nerd crew videos seem like chaos
I agreed with you at first, but actually this time because of the effect I'm pretty sure the Jay we saw wasn't the Jay that was sitting there when they filmed...
@@jettnorr I realized that they must do this starting with the WW84 episode. There’s no way Jay could have sat there without cracking during that whole noisy room bit right at the end of the intro.
The Batman was good, but I already know what they'd think about it. I was really hoping they'd talk about Everything, Everywhere All at Once since it was much more interesting and they both liked Swiss Army Man.
I remember seeing Siskel & Ebert on the Tonight Show when the original Jackass came out. They mentioned how all the wild stunts didn’t effect them, but what really unnerved them was when the crew started giving themselves paper cuts between the webbing of their fingers.
The copious amounts of reviews with misspelling is hilarious. Plus those reviewers inadvertently exposing the limited few normie movies they've seen by comparing everything to Avatar, or some Disney movie-by-committee assembly line trash, is perfect. Need more.
I shut a trailer off immediately if it starts with a single, mournful piano note and then a voice over saying "When I was a child, my mother told me..."
We will never get to see an elderly yet distinguished looking Nicole Kidman. It's sad. I think she would look great, but instead she looks scary and nothing like her self. Tragic loss of feminine beauty because of vanity and self consciousness. We all have poo in our butts though. Oh well.
I'm surprised they didn't review Everything Everywhere All at Once. It's a mid budget blockbuster movie that's not Disney like The Northman but it didn't totally flop. It's such a phenomenal movie that is very weird and out of the box but I think is still somewhat accessible to the average film goer. It really gives me hope for the future of movies.
Agreed. The way "The Matrix" improved on films like "Dark City" and set a new standard for myth-heavy Chosen One films, "Everything Everywhere All At Once" improves on "The Matrix" and it's thematic offspring. Sets a new standard for sure.
Was looking for this comment So weird that they didnt give this one a go, but maybe on the next one I mean, they havent talked about Men either, and that movie is right up Jay's weird alley
It's A24's highest grossing movie yet and *behind the scenes its special effects were made by a small team of 7 people. Emotionally moving through most of the film, the ending could have had just a bit more of something to pull the arc through, beautiful beautiful get a re:view on this one sometime during this decade!*
@@ericfelds6291 What, why? They're not here to promote movies that fly under the radar, they're here to critique and give their thoughts on movies. This is a movie I would love to hear their opinions on.
Hearing them talk about the elderly Jackass guys reminds me of Gilbert Gottfried talking about when he was a kid and he would see The Three Stooges doing public appearances as old men and still hitting each other.
The actors in The Northman _not_ being covered in mud and filth is actually super historically accurate. Contrary to their depiction in pop culture, Scandinavians of the Early Medieval Period valued personal hygiene quite highly, bathed regularly and utilized an array of specialized grooming tools.
Did they do this while screaming at each other, or while grunting? Or raping and pillaging? Or drinking ale out of elk horns? Or riding dragons? Or between those things?
My main issue with their review of Northman is this: the fact that they're generally clean, their clothes aren't tattered, and that their teeth are nice is not proof that the film is less historically accurate; but that it's more accurate. Ancient people generally had good teeth because of their diets, they didn't need to brush. They did bathe and have makeup, to some extent. Every woman knew how to and did make clothing. If you had a tear in your shirt it would be patched up expertly later that night. The myth that the past was always gross all the time because they didn't have modern technology was largely invented by film that didn't have a deep understanding of how the ancient and medieval world worked.
Thank you, was just about to say this exactly. Very tired of the very blanket idea people have about everything and everyone in the past being plastered with filth like they got up and rolled in mud puddles every morning.
Hell, the English derided Vikings because they bathed and preened themselves far more than men of that time. They were also pissed that Viking men were successfully wooing their women because of that.
@@michaeldavis8250 if you look it up, there are papers on it from natgeo and the smithsonian. But just think about it. Almost every skull you've seen in a museum has had normal teeth. Their soil was more nutrient dense, they didn't eat processed foods, and they ate a more straight forward diet of meat and vegetables that they made and likely caught/harvested themselves. Plus almost every religion has some form of dietary restrictions, whether permanent or temporary fasts, that prevented them from having diets that had excess amounts of more unhealthy foods, as well as alcohol
I think the level of grime in the Northman was pretty realistic. People washed themselves, they weren't all constantly covered in shit but sometimes they were. Also, people's teeth weren't always terrible. They've found tons of people whose teeth were pretty ok, and yes people have been brushing their teeth since at least ancient Egypt.
All types of viking and northern slavs washed themselves very regularly, at least once a week. What we call today "swedish sauna" was used in those regions for about 1500 years. Vikings, varangians were actually well known at the time for cleanliness and even vanity, especially about their hair. Certain groups of male Vikings even wore make up.
You're right. This is a major misconception about that era and region. As it is, the clothing color palette is subdued to the point that it's edging on anachronistic. The Norse cultures practiced a variety of fiber dyeing techniques.
Well done everyone commenting about the cleanliness in the Northman, now in the next HITB Jay's gonna joke about how 80% of the comments were correcting them
@@TheMinskyTerrorist I don't think I've ever heard them claim to be anything like experts, mostly they claim to be idiot nobodies. I also can't think of them ever getting mad about comments correcting them, they just mock the people who comment the exact same correction 50,000 times rather than just liking a comment that says what they were gonna say and moving on.
@@martyjehovah So they really expect everyone to read through every single one of hundreds of comments to find the single one that perfectly matches what they want to say and then hope that they see it and care about the like button? That's silly. It's also silly that they then post all the comments on the screen and treat it like people are physically yelling at them or attacking them. The whole format is about them trying to show expertise on movies generally. There's also a lot of details that they miss because they're not paying attention and then they blame the movies for it.
Fun Fact: Medieval era people were not nearly as dirty as they're portrayed in movies. People in general stank more because there wasn't deodorant, but bathing was done regularly. They also had teeth in very good condition because there wasn't sugar in everything. Teeth don't need to be brushed in a natural environment. Modern jungle tribes usually have perfect teeth
"Perfect teeth" of course being relative because they would be much more crooked and possibly brown from smoking various things. The dirty they would be would unlikely be rot, though. Yes.
@@cornbredx Really nearly everyone through history had perfect teeth. Most every meal would consist of meat, and the chewing that goes into that works wonders for spacing and strength. Look up Weston A. Price.
Yep, if you were living on a farm getting lots of fresh air and manual labor eating mostly root vegetables, fish and meat you’d actually look pretty good and have decent oral health.
I blame pop culture for making people think people were fillfthy back then, grooming standards have been a thing since ancient times. Maybe in the cities things were fillfthy, cities are still filfthy now. Everywhere else had a place for you to bathe and do laundry.
Honestly, after seeing it twice, my favorite cast member in the Northman is Claes Bang. I thought everyone did great, but every time Fjolnir was on screen, I couldn't take my eyes off him. He had a level of quiet intensity that overshadowed everyone else in his scene, while never being too over-the-top.
As someone who does early norse reenactment this was hands down one of the most historically correct movie I've ever seen for costuming. Despite what a lot of people think these people were pretty darn clean and not covered in filth all the time.
I always think of that account from a middle eastern traveler who encountered some vikings in Italy (iirc) and he mentioned how much cleaner they were than other europeans.
Yeah and also the movie included scenes of the slaves doing laundry and cleaning the house. Even without modern technology you aren't going to life amidst filth if you have people to clean it for you and even if your workforce is mostly slaves you still deal with them on a daily basis and wouldn't want them to stink either.
Exactly. People throughout history generally didn't like being dirty if they could help it. And the Norse were described as being particularly well-groomed (at least in accounts of vikings by other folk of the time.)
Pitted or worn teeth were somewhat common depending on the era and diet, in egypt the inclusion of grit from sand or coarse grains in the bread often led to those pits and wear. But in later civilizations as grains were further domesticated and milling techniques refined, that became less of a present issue. In norse cultures as with contemporary european cultures teeth would generally be healthy; the only thing you might see are more crooked teeth and yellowed teeth than what is normal today, as corrective dentistry wasn't very common and the natural color of enamel is somewhat yellowed. But people today seem to have the idea that medieval people looked and smelled like metheads, partially due to old biases we adopted from the Renaissance.
@Ke Lo. I assumed that's what he meant by sugar. Grains are sugar at the end of the day. Vikings eating mostly meat and fish would have better teeth than far older Egyptians that ate lots of grains
I had a coworker from rural Liberia and his teeth were perfect with no dental care. Meanwhile my teeth are terrible with dental care, because as a kid I thought soda was an adequate replacement for water.
Only Jay Bauman could come out of The Northman, look at everyone around him, and say, 'What? I thought that was incredibly accessible and straight-forward."
I feel like the only thing that wasn't straight forward was the skeleton fight because if it wasn't mystical then how would the sword have wound up there to begin with, in this remote island where Amleth wasn't even raised?
@@tomwells8093 it’s literally based on the legend of Amleth, which is what Hamlet is based off of. So of course it’s gonna seem “cliché” when it’s the OG “revenge on the evil Uncle” story
My wife saw Takashi Miike's "Audition" in the theater without knowing what it was, she just went to the arthouse theater and asked what was new and they said they just got this Japanese film and she was like oh, ok, that sounds fun and went in sight unseen. I am so jealous of seeing it like that, not knowing going in what it was because it really does start off like a romcom.
Wow, there's an arthouse theater near you? I couldn't even watch Everything, Everyone all at once in my two local theaters because it only released in Thai language dub. The theaters usually only hosts Superhero movies so I thought I was lucky.
The Vikings were pretty clean people, I just learned from the hundred million other comments on this CZcams video making sure we know how clean the Vikings were and how much they showered literally every hour
Weirdly, I think John Cena would do really well in a thriller role where he's a guy who seems nice, mundane and normal, but has a crazy side like he's a kidnapper. Maybe when he's a little older. He's got that intensity to him. Mike's onto something here.
@@alexsilva28 he probably wouldn't need to act or say that much in such a role, similar to what Arnie Schwarzenegger or Silver Stallone did early in their careers
It would be even better if he had all these weird kidnapper-killer vibes, but actually was just a normal dude and it was Anna Kendrick who in some kind of plot twist would show herself as a serial killer
Why is nobody talking about the fact that they use the same segue for every film? Like, not even a different take. They just edit the exact same shot in between each segment. Highly underrated bit.
Northman was a masterpiece. I love how all the shamanism and destiny stuff was real in the movie's world. I love that scene were Anya Taylor-joy calls the wind. I love that the sword wont unsheath in the Daylight and that it kinda saved him. Great stuff, probably going to rewatch it now :)
The “Ultrasound” guy that Jay can’t remember has actually an almost identical look as Jacques Renault character in Twin Peaks, I was convinced it was the same actor. Not coincidentally this actor, Bob Stephenson, appeared in Twin Peaks The Return. Walter Olkewicz (Jacques Renault) died in 2021.
I assume that sticking point comes from the dark ages specifically. Life as a European peasant was truly horrific. But in general, it was a lot harder to keep clean without things like toothpaste or soap that didn't burn your skin off.
Yeah, and the one thing we know about the Norse is that they were considered freaks cause they bathed regularly (once a week), and had daily grooming rituals like brushing their hair, cleaning their teeth etc. Also, they wore wool clothes that were dyed in bright colurs, so no gray drabness. Ah, those damn misconceptions.
The dark ages is a real time. Also, not everyone, everywhere, were clean all the time, but as I said in another comment it's all relative in what "dirty" means and what accurately dirty would be. A farmer, for example, would bathe (sure) but would also be dirty all the time even still because a bath would not be regular and their work, which they would be doing all the time with no mechanical vehicles beyond animals, would be dirtier than it is now. So, no "dirty" wouldn't be what we think of as "dirty" but it would be relatively dirty depending upon the person, place, and maybe even relative distance to water among other factors. Speaking in absolutes about history is futile since there is no way to know the truth about it 100%. We can only perceive what we can read about or study in other ways. We have no ways to know 100%. In which case it doesn't actually matter and becomes a moot point they made.
@@halowaffle25 it's called the middle ages. And just like any other time period there times of tremendous prosperity in Europe and times of true horror in Europe. But that's just like any other. In 1000 years people may look back at the 20th centry as a "dark age" despite the majority of people living more prosperous than people of any other time era.
I have to say your old review of titanic talking about “averageness” makes a lot of sense to why people don’t know how to go into movies like the Northman. I thought it was great! I loved the accuracy of Norse mythology, it’s history, and following from a book from 1000 ce. despite changing the ending of the Ahmlets legacy, I honestly think the ending made it do justice to the book, in the ending of the book, ahmlet lives and become king only to become a boring flawed ruler only to die in a battle in Denmark. The way they show the flaws of the Vikings and actually seeing how vicious they were especially with berserkers way of living. Vikings made sure they were clean they cleaned their teeth and hair with home made brushes and picks, the rituals were on point. Skarsgard was beautiful as usual and you can feel how personal it was for him to play this role, Ana Taylor joy was amazing the way she portrayed herself as Olga being the encouragement of ahmlet to see different sides of his destiny. Ok im ranting too much. I guess im trying to say im glad y’all didn’t hate it. For someone like me who loves history and films, especially when it comes to historical accuracy and being adventurous with creativity it’s sometimes hard to put both together, and it’s sad it didn’t get the praise it deserved. But I’m happy it entertained me and I hope they find a way to make stuff like this again
Both the “What’s in the box” and “When somebody asks you if your a god” movie quotes are used in How I Met Your Mother. Both are said by Robin and the “What’s in the Box?” Line is met with eye rolls from all the other characters.
I think Jay is way underappreciating just how little patience the average movie goer has for actual weirdness, and The Northman has weirdness in spades compared to something much more down the middle like a Gladiator or Braveheart or what have you. Could totally see a loooooot of people going in looking for a badass Viking movie (which it is, in my opinion, just also weird) and hating it.
It could’ve used more weirdness imo. I’m kind of glad it didn’t do well if this is what we have to get out of Eggers when studios are really involved. I MUCH prefer The Witch and The Lighthouse.
Yeah this was kind of evident with the audience reception of Doctor Strange 2. I saw a lot of people complaining that it strayed too far from the Marvel formula and they didn't Sam Raimi's filmmaking
In defense of the plot of the Northman it is based on folklore that hamlet is based on as well per an article: “It’s a very old saga,” Skarsgård explains when we bring up the root origins of his film’s tale. “Shakespeare based his Hamlet on Saxo Grammaticus’ Prince Amleth from the 12th century. But Saxo Grammaticus most likely based Prince Amleth of Jutland, which we based our movie on, on an even older Icelandic saga from the ninth or 10th century.”
@@Awesomesufff more interesting than hamlet? Damn man... good luck. People have been retelling that since the dawn of civilization, even Disney did a version of it.
@@karenlusted298 yes, yes of course, Assassin’s Creed Valhalla, God of War. Pretty cool to see a live action version! If you haven’t played Hellblade, I highly recommend it :)
@@scparker6893 all hope is not lost although with the news of HBO Max it’s still quite disappointing but Comic Books that don’t revolve around superhero’s are amazing and there is some wonderful ones being adapted like Paper Girls and Sandman.(although the latter’ s books are definitely better) it gives me hope. Something is killing the children (which is being adapted by The guy who did haunting of hill house, Hush, Midnight Mass, Doctor Sleep is being adapted and that is gunna be amazing as the author is wonderful) Monstress, Ice Cream Man, Black Science, Saga, wealth of wonderful stories.
Yeah... "high tier" stuff with the Northman... you mean with the main character walking into a hole to get cheat codes every few scenes from the supernatural? what an "earned" revenge story he had. He just step by step got cheat codes to his win. 6/10 it was fine. Lighthouse was much better.
@@yesthenyes6727 The Lighthouse is one of my favorite movies so agree on that point. As a Norwegian I really appreciate how the story is told like a viking saga from the point of view of vikings, where the supernatural and the influence of gods is perceived as real. The so-called "cheat codes" are not bad writing, but intentionally done to adhere to a certain type of storytelling/worldview. I can understand how not everyone will like it, but it is very much intentional.
FYI Mike and Jay, the Norse were actually quite into hygiene and bathed frequently. They also had pretty good teeth - they used sticks to scrape their teeth clean and had very low sugar diets, so not much tooth decay.
46:10 Uhm, it's like, literally Shakespeare's Hamlet but derived from the origin story recorded in mediaeval Iceland. 51:30 Well now Mike, experts on the historical period said that it's the most accurate depiction of Norse society (clothing, housing, weapons, gear) in a big screen film so far; with notable fantastic exceptions such as the Berserkers, Norns and Valkyries because they are mythical characters and legends in the first place. The frustration of many seem to come from the false expectation to see "A Viking Movie" but what they got was a film about revenge set in (or drawn from) the historical era of Norse doing Viking raids.
I can't believe they didn't bring up the movie Audition when they were talking about Fresh and movies that start out about one thing and then take a turn for the insane and savage. I went into Audition knowing nothing about the movie and nothing about Takashi Miike. I was the perfect audience and it blew me away.
I really liked the Northman was absolutely nothing Hollywood about it. The whole weapon introduction scene was just fantastic. That's how you introduce a magical weapon.
@@Creabsley I have only seen a couple of battle scenes, and while I agree with you, I don’t think it was because the movie was “Hollywood”, but because of the limited budget and the fact that if you are going to do a fight scene, you have two options: get a Hollywood “John Wick” type stunt coordinator or a Hong Kong “John Woo” one. These authentic movies are one-off, and the audience expects “Hollywood authenticity” (as demonstrated by Mike in this review), so if you want to be historically accurate, you have to assemble a team from European historical reconstruction community and train actors for months. If you are familiar with games, Kingdom Come: Deliverance devs had the same problem of wanting to do authentic weapon duels with ripostes and parries with average gamers expecting Skyrim/Morrowind left mouse button mashing combat.
Regarding the characters in "The Northman" being "too clean" - the vikings had a reputation amongst their contemporaries for being very clean and well-groomed, so that's actually historically accurate. 😁
People like to exaggerate how terrible the past was to make themselves feel better about the horrible state of our modern world. People in the past worked a lot less, partied a lot more, had more sex, almost never had to interact with strangers, had an almost absolute view on faith to keep them content, and were generally ignorant of all the many things that cause excessive anxiety in modern people (germs, philosophy, ideology, climate change, etc) Other than infant mortality and the occasional bouts of violence I would say the past was not to bad for the vast majority of humans.
Still doesnt explain away the looks of the mother character - cosmetics and all - living in a village of 20 people in the middle of nowhere in the 9th century ad
@@nameredacted7622 You do realize that most people only made it to 20 right that's not myth. And no people back then in the dark ages use to belive that taling baths and being clean was bad for you. They though being dirty helped keep germs away. And them not understanding microbes led to black death typhoid and dysentery being rampant. Black death killed literally millions of people. And reappeared several times on a big Scale. Also tooth brushes where not invented until some time in the late 1700 or early 1800s. Tree bark was common
To quote John of Wallingford (Chronica Joannis Wallingford): > "The Danes, thanks to their habit to comb their hair every day, to bathe every Saturday, to change their garments often, and set off their persons by many such frivolous devices. In this manner, they laid siege to the virtue of the married women, and persuaded the daughters even of the nobles to be their concubines.” Damn Vikings, seducing our women with their cleanliness.
Re: the conversation about bait & switch trailers for horror movies, I've always thought that's the perfect way to do a Predator video game that no one will ever do. Market it as a completely generic military shooter, Call of Duty style, then an hour into the game the Predator starts hunting you and killing all your team mates. Surprise Predator game. It would be the best, but they'd never do it
I recall Bloodborne doing that wonderfully. They marketed it all-in on the werewolf angle and then suddenly you’re playing it and partway through bam, lovecraftian nightmare
Kinda surprised neither of them noticed The Northman is literally just Hamlet. Like even just by way of Lion King. It's literally an adaptation of the legend that Hamlet is based on
The idea that medieval peoples were all dirty and wearing rags is more of a Hollywood invention than historical fact. People in the Middle Ages were actually quite clean and hygienic, even the peasants, and they enjoyed wearing colorful and clean clothes. So, in this regard the Northman was quite accurate.
Also the clean teeth. Folk didn’t exclusively have rotting, dirty teeth. The diet was very different back then and everything wasn’t packed with sugar. That’s not to say dental health in the past was as good as it is today, but it wasn’t as bad as some folk think either.
Just look at people living in rural areas in the third world today. They might be exposed to a lot of pathogens, but they are not usually visibly dirty looking. It's mostly urban street beggers who are dirty looking. Overall, it's pretty easy to not visibly look dirty, since even without modern plumbing, you could wash your body and clothes in a river/lake. Soap has also been known about forever, and the Celts had a form of soap. The Romans used oil which worked fine for them. I'm sure the Norse had something.
@@gsawcomic They didn’t have pearly whites, many had crooked or chipped teeth due to grainy, sandy diets, but they weren’t rotting or full of cavities.
The Norse people of the viking era loved grooming themselves and combs are a commonly found artifact. So the clean hair displayed by the main characters is probably historically accurate.
I can't agree with Mike nitpicking the fact Nicole Kidman being too pretty for the role. The whole movie is like a fairy tale almost, and the main character had built up his mother as this innocent goddess in his mind. You need someone pretty for that, and it only makes the midpoint turn all the more shocking. By the way, Nicole Kidman sells the fuck out of that scene.
It's not that she's too pretty, it's that she's clearly had lots of plastic surgery done and doesn't look like a real human. The movie prides itself on historical accuracy but they didn't have plastic surgery back then!
A slasher movie about a gym teacher going insane and killing all the other teachers with weapons and one-liners about the subject they teach actually sounds pretty fun, if handled with the appropriate camp and wackiness. Even the idea of setting up obvious one-liners or visual gags only for the gym teacher to be too dumb to notice or capitalize on them sounds like it could be really funny. It would subvert my expectations, making it instantly satisfying!
Rain Johnson could call it “Guns Out” and have Daniel Craig appear in it so people think it’s the sequel to “Knives Out”, subverting their expectations!
I recently started watching BBC's Ghosts, based in a recommendation from Mike Stoklasa in one of their videos I have been recently binging. Many thanks sir, the show is brilliant and I am enjoying it immensely. Your channel is wonderful, please keep up the great work, I am looking forward to grabbing Space Cop off of Amazon in the near future.
It's an unfortunate side-effect of Hollywood being mostly abandoned by the types of people that would enjoy it. I've been to the theater three times in the last 11 years or so. Of those three times, I did not go opening night or even opening week; I waited for trusted sources to talk about a given film. Haven't had any faith in western entertainment and wide releases since some time after Return of the King and before the Hobbit hit theaters.
I was 100% certain the “creepy dad” from ultrasound was Jerry Gergich from parks and recreation… was actually shocked to realize it was two different actors
True, but there was quite a bit of selection bias going on; and the positive comments weren't without grammar mistakes and typos, either. But yeah, agreed.
@@moviegumshoes yes. The best parts had space cop in the scene, which are most of them. When space cop isn't in the scene then it isn't great and you are waiting for space cop to show up.
I don't get why everybody always assumes the vikings would be covered in filth. There are writings from that time period of British men complaining that the north people are wooing their women because of how clean they keep themselves, how much they care about their appearance, how they clean their fingernails and comb their hair constantly.
Same reason why people think ninjas were assassins roaming the shadows and martial arts experts. They were spies that would eavesdrop and wear disguises.
King Knight got dumped onto Tubi less than a year after its premiere. Actually, all of Richard Bates' movies are on Tubi. I'm not sure what that means, but at least they're all collocated.
Jokes on us. They didn't mean "The Batman", they actually were talking about "Morbius", the bat man.
A certified morbhead if I’ve ever seen one.
How big of a Patreon/Go-Fund-Me will this take?
Just what we need mor b-s
Jokes on you for sure. They're both equally bad movies.
@@cornbredx nah, morbius is goated, i clapped when he name dropped venom
Jay can't remember the two films he saw less than 12 months ago...and yet he can recognize an extra he saw in one scene of a film after 22 years.
To be fair, the dildo scene is hilarious, and that actor absolutely nailed the delivery given that it was just a few lines. I initially thought the actor was the larger gay fella from Modern Family, but when they showed him again I immediately recognized him as the dildo guy too.
Like a serial killer who has never been caught. They can't remember their grandchildren's graduation but they remember where they buried their victims decades ago.
@@MrHEC381991 wait... How do you know what a serial killer who has never been caught remembers?
Our memories work in funny ways. I can barely remember what I had for dinner a week ago but I can remember some meals from my childhood vividly.
"And you weren't under an emotional stress, were you?"
As a Norwegian history nerd. The vikings actually were quite clean. Every saturday was bathing day, and the clothes were typically quite colourful.
Yeah movies love to make medieval clothing dark and drab, but almost everyone wore bright, really gaudy colours. It would probably look quite silly to modern eyes
@@TMNewtBoy I think modern people have the impression that everything back then was really drab because all the artifacts from those times have aged and faded over the years
This.
Hilariously, pretty much everything that Mike thought was inaccurate was actually quite spot on
The English considers them girly for washing once a week, and in the Chronicles of the Arab Ibn Fadlan he "questioned" their hygiene. Apparently they all washed from the same water.
These guys didn't even catch on to the fact that Amleth is an anagram of Hamlet. If you ever want a case study of Dunning Kruger just watch this video.
I like how Mike's time space beer delivery company cares more about the prime directive than new Star Trek.
To be fair, Star Trek has NEVER cared about their prime directive. Even in TOS, whenever they find a new civilization, the first thing they start doing is f-king with it.
@@FoxCastleChild Mr. Anderson, you really need to re-read what you wrote.
Nevertheless, your first sentence is 100% correct.
I think beer is basically a prerequisite to advanced civilization. Why did the Europeans colonize North America? Beer and mead expedited the brain evolution
Public vs private sector. Public sector is always going to be worse.
They really hung up on cleanliness! People use to bathe and clean themselves all throughout history, had massive public bathhouse and laws mandating showering at least once a week.
During so, vikings were famously clean, English even write how often they bathe and wash their hair and how good they smell.
Nobody likes to stink not now, not then
Yeah I was getting annoyed when they kept talking about how dirty "they should have looked". Humans didn't just live in dirt because they lived thousands of years ago, humans have been very clean for a very long time.
Good point. Even fucking insects clean themselves. It's an important instinct that keeps animals healthy.
I regularly cringe when these Fraud Hacks start pontificating on a film's historical verisimilitude. It's obvious they're not interested in studying history, which is quite alright, but they keep fellating their own feet in these instances. Still love me some Fraud Hacks, even with some face palm deliveries.
@@NefariousKoel
Haha is that sarcasm?
@@abstractdaddy1384 - Mixed madness?
I love Jay felt worried about how old the Jackass guys are for getting hurt, but continuously torments poor old Mr. Plinkett.
He cares about the Jackass guys.
But Jay's not married to the Jackass guys.
If you think about it, they do the same thing to Rich Evans, except psychologically. Amazing entertainment these guys
Plinkett in Jackass 6 confirmed.
Mr. Plinkett is immortal
My dad watched Northman with his other boomer friend and both came back saying "it sucks! It wasn't like Vikings at all!" and I think I understood then why good movies are rarely made
Those damn boomers at it again
Because they didn't act like the stereotyped and overdone as well as inaccurate Viking portrayals.
Normies think vikings are cocky dude-bros who laugh heartily while eating turkey legs, drinking ale, and hilariously flirt with busty sassy serving maidens, all while having modern American morals (individuality, freedom, equality).
boomers are the cause of all the worlds current problems
@@TheShredworthy Both Northman and Vikings have over the top viking portrayals. Vikings at least has characters you can root for.
Love how Mike admits to not knowing much about history and spends the next half hour proving it 😂
Yeah, Mike seems to think everything was covered in shit in the Middle Ages
Monty Python & The Holy Grail is (painfully) one of the more accurate depictions of the Middle Ages on film.
@@logosrule Now that's depressing
@@adamfrisk956 it was a pretty fucking miserable time to be alive
The idea that historically most teeth were rotten is actually a pretty big misconception. People still thought to clean their teeth long before toothpaste was around, they couldn't do it as effectively but their diets caused way less tooth decay than ours do anyway.
They didn't have toothbrushes, but they did clean their teeth with sticks, as people have done all over the world.
yeah toothbrushes really weren't as necessary for the thousands of years we weren't shoving 9000 pounds of processed sugar and acidic sodas down our fat gullets every day
I learned only recently that anthropologists can identify agricultural societies by the presence of cavities in teeth. Eating grain is what causes tooth decay, not just refined sugar. Vikings certainly washed, yes, but they probably would have had rotten teeth as well, although perhaps not as bad as WWI soldiers.
@@cariboubearmalachy1174 The mechanisms are different.
Eating grain is like sandblasting your teeth, while sugar is like spraying them with acid
@@cariboubearmalachy1174 Thing is most things made with grain would also have a fair amount of grit and sand, unavoidable since grains were ground with stones into flour. So chewing on that would mess up your teeth pretty hard.
About the Northman, and how the actors look: people throughout history (generally) didn't like being dirty if they could help it. They weren't like the peasants from Monty Python, just wallowing in mud all day. And to top it off, the Norse (at least from descriptions of vikings from period sources) were described as well-groomed.
the old English got mad at the men of the Danelaw for being too damn pretty.
In fact, medieval people were much cleaner than the folks of the Early Modern period, because the Puritans and Catholics post-Protestant Reformation both got all weird about washing and exposing the body in general. People in 1200 had public baths they could go to, but people in 1700 were probably going on several months of filth!
The original metros
And since they had no sugar, and were only on a meat and veg diet, people had surprisingly good teeth, especially considering they usually died in their 30's or 40's.
@@frollothewhite people actually generally lived later than that if they survived childhood, into their 50s and 60s. The low average life expectancy in medieval Europe was largely a result of widespread infant mortality.
I'm glad Jay took a moment to mention Willem Dafoe's performance in The Northman. I still believe he was born specifically so someone can play roles like these, 'cause he was great.
Extremely powerful Weird Little Guy energy
I didn't even recognize him before I watched this.
Jay getting so upset when Mike called Se7en "the what's in the box movie." was hilarious.
It shares that moniker with UHF. The two are distinguishable by what is, in fact, in the respective boxes.
I get the impression that Jay never knows what Mike's about to do at the beginning of these HITB episodes lately
They probably had something planned but mike forgot again and has to pretend he doesn’t have dementia
I thought that when I was new to the channel but I've seen lots of people here say its all scripted and rehearsed. If that's true then they're great actors because the nerd crew videos seem like chaos
I agreed with you at first, but actually this time because of the effect I'm pretty sure the Jay we saw wasn't the Jay that was sitting there when they filmed...
@@jettnorr I realized that they must do this starting with the WW84 episode. There’s no way Jay could have sat there without cracking during that whole noisy room bit right at the end of the intro.
I’m here for it
Years of watching these two and I can almost immediately tell who is on edit duty, almost like knowing which Beatle is on lead guitar.
The end fight of The Northman is pretty much what Mike suggested for the end fight in Revenge of the Sith.
Loved the Northman but it felt like a combination between Mrs Doubtfire and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. 1/4 of a star rating
No its clearly a combination of Mama Mia and A Serbian Film
I loved the scene where Amleth stole his uncle's boat to go on a coming of age adventure with his Viking buddies
I'd say it's more of a Sesame Street meets The Matrix, tbqh
To me it was more like a mix between Freddy Got Fingered and National Treasure: Book of Secrets.
I just thought it was a weird choice to end the movie with 30 minutes of uninterrupted footage of 9/11.
Really excited to hear their thoughts on "The Batman" in this video after they got over 100,000 likes on that comment!
I love the joke, but in reality they probably filmed this on the same day, just cut it into 2 videos.
Strange new worlds
The Batman was good, but I already know what they'd think about it. I was really hoping they'd talk about Everything, Everywhere All at Once since it was much more interesting and they both liked Swiss Army Man.
I’ve been refreshing and watching this comment get more and more likes. Almost 300. Very satisfying to watch
@@justinstoll4955 ...which it is very soon, hence I'm looking forward to that Batman review.
Fun fact: Dildo guy was also in Twin Peaks the Return. This proves Mike’s Star Trek obsession is far, far worse than Jay’s Twin Peaks obsession.
I thought it was the cable guy from Seinfeld who also happened to be in the twin peaks stuff
Ys odd for Jay to miss that. He said that bar scene in Fire Walk With Me was his favorite
And more insidious.
I remember seeing Siskel & Ebert on the Tonight Show when the original Jackass came out. They mentioned how all the wild stunts didn’t effect them, but what really unnerved them was when the crew started giving themselves paper cuts between the webbing of their fingers.
I’ll be honest, that part is one I can’t watch or even listen to.
"Fresh is a movie about a guy who eats woman."
Completely not shocked Jay saw it the second it came out XD
Dear lord how many movies about eating women will Jay watch?
I read your comment before I heard Mike say that and I was actually a bit disappointed that he said the guy eats women instead of woman.
It's a cannibal movie, Jay was probably lined up outside the theater at midnight for the premiere.
I feel like Jay is more into women eating women.
I could watch a whole series of Mike reading movie reviews
I want Jay there too, as an audience surrogate to express bewilderment and complete incomprehension.
He does take good notes
Someone someday will make a compilation on the internet with just Mike reading movie reviews and its gonna be two hours long.
I am getting happy flashbacks of the Wacky Kids Jokes episodes
The copious amounts of reviews with misspelling is hilarious. Plus those reviewers inadvertently exposing the limited few normie movies they've seen by comparing everything to Avatar, or some Disney movie-by-committee assembly line trash, is perfect. Need more.
I shut a trailer off immediately if it starts with a single, mournful piano note and then a voice over saying "When I was a child, my mother told me..."
"In a world - where people mumble about stuff.."
…the world is gonna roll me.
"....I would become a Morbius"
The soundtrack for The Northman needs more attention. What a powerful use of native instruments to complement the scenes
I'm just thankful Jay praised "the witch" years ago, and I was able to see all of Eggers films.
Yo that’s a really cool pixel art Mario, pfp.
It was not until this video that I ever considered that Jay would have a dad.
🤣🤣🤣
It took you this long??? he's like 13 years old!
Nicole Kidman's plastic surgery is one of the scariest villains in recent history
It's so fucking distracting. It took me out of the movie every time she was on screen.
We will never get to see an elderly yet distinguished looking Nicole Kidman. It's sad. I think she would look great, but instead she looks scary and nothing like her self. Tragic loss of feminine beauty because of vanity and self consciousness.
We all have poo in our butts though. Oh well.
Slumdog Millionaire was a full bait and switch. "Feel good movie of the year", they said. It was traumatising. I could have screamed at the end
I watched that film when I was 10, I still am horrified by the eye scooping
Forest Gump is the same. A complete tragedy. Feel good my arse.
I'm surprised they didn't review Everything Everywhere All at Once. It's a mid budget blockbuster movie that's not Disney like The Northman but it didn't totally flop. It's such a phenomenal movie that is very weird and out of the box but I think is still somewhat accessible to the average film goer. It really gives me hope for the future of movies.
Agreed. The way "The Matrix" improved on films like "Dark City" and set a new standard for myth-heavy Chosen One films, "Everything Everywhere All At Once" improves on "The Matrix" and it's thematic offspring. Sets a new standard for sure.
Was looking for this comment
So weird that they didnt give this one a go, but maybe on the next one
I mean, they havent talked about Men either, and that movie is right up Jay's weird alley
It felt like an older kung fu movie, but modernized and westernized.
It's A24's highest grossing movie yet and *behind the scenes its special effects were made by a small team of 7 people. Emotionally moving through most of the film, the ending could have had just a bit more of something to pull the arc through, beautiful beautiful get a re:view on this one sometime during this decade!*
@@ericfelds6291 What, why? They're not here to promote movies that fly under the radar, they're here to critique and give their thoughts on movies. This is a movie I would love to hear their opinions on.
Hearing them talk about the elderly Jackass guys reminds me of Gilbert Gottfried talking about when he was a kid and he would see The Three Stooges doing public appearances as old men and still hitting each other.
"Nobody brushed their teeth in 850 AD."
They didn't each much sugar, either.
They also ate loads of fibre.
But they totally brushed their teeth…
The actors in The Northman _not_ being covered in mud and filth is actually super historically accurate. Contrary to their depiction in pop culture, Scandinavians of the Early Medieval Period valued personal hygiene quite highly, bathed regularly and utilized an array of specialized grooming tools.
Did they do this while screaming at each other, or while grunting? Or raping and pillaging? Or drinking ale out of elk horns? Or riding dragons? Or between those things?
@@TheDarkHour684 In between.
Add “Mr. Muscles” to the list of RLM movie pitches right after “The Inside” (Old lady in the walls) and “The Wall” (Humpty Dumpty)
My main issue with their review of Northman is this: the fact that they're generally clean, their clothes aren't tattered, and that their teeth are nice is not proof that the film is less historically accurate; but that it's more accurate. Ancient people generally had good teeth because of their diets, they didn't need to brush. They did bathe and have makeup, to some extent. Every woman knew how to and did make clothing. If you had a tear in your shirt it would be patched up expertly later that night.
The myth that the past was always gross all the time because they didn't have modern technology was largely invented by film that didn't have a deep understanding of how the ancient and medieval world worked.
You got a source on their teeth being good? And on their healthy diets?
Thank you, was just about to say this exactly. Very tired of the very blanket idea people have about everything and everyone in the past being plastered with filth like they got up and rolled in mud puddles every morning.
this needs to be top comment
Hell, the English derided Vikings because they bathed and preened themselves far more than men of that time. They were also pissed that Viking men were successfully wooing their women because of that.
@@michaeldavis8250 if you look it up, there are papers on it from natgeo and the smithsonian. But just think about it. Almost every skull you've seen in a museum has had normal teeth. Their soil was more nutrient dense, they didn't eat processed foods, and they ate a more straight forward diet of meat and vegetables that they made and likely caught/harvested themselves. Plus almost every religion has some form of dietary restrictions, whether permanent or temporary fasts, that prevented them from having diets that had excess amounts of more unhealthy foods, as well as alcohol
I think the level of grime in the Northman was pretty realistic. People washed themselves, they weren't all constantly covered in shit but sometimes they were. Also, people's teeth weren't always terrible. They've found tons of people whose teeth were pretty ok, and yes people have been brushing their teeth since at least ancient Egypt.
And the evil of sugar wasn't around in such a big way.
All types of viking and northern slavs washed themselves very regularly, at least once a week. What we call today "swedish sauna" was used in those regions for about 1500 years. Vikings, varangians were actually well known at the time for cleanliness and even vanity, especially about their hair. Certain groups of male Vikings even wore make up.
The Brits really had us thinking everyone was dirty and smelly like them
You're right. This is a major misconception about that era and region. As it is, the clothing color palette is subdued to the point that it's edging on anachronistic. The Norse cultures practiced a variety of fiber dyeing techniques.
people dont realise in gladiator when things flashed on the screen they were being told a story and this was just pretentious drivel
The Northman was awesome. It was literally the only movie that I wanted to see in theaters since I saw 1917 in theaters two years earlier.
Wow the first movie you wanted to see in theaters in over 100 years, that IS impressive
Well done everyone commenting about the cleanliness in the Northman, now in the next HITB Jay's gonna joke about how 80% of the comments were correcting them
Yeah they say stupid things and pretend to be experts all the time and get caremad when people call them on it
I love "Well actually..." comments lol
At least they aren’t like YMS who just threatens to quit every time their words are questioned.
@@TheMinskyTerrorist I don't think I've ever heard them claim to be anything like experts, mostly they claim to be idiot nobodies. I also can't think of them ever getting mad about comments correcting them, they just mock the people who comment the exact same correction 50,000 times rather than just liking a comment that says what they were gonna say and moving on.
@@martyjehovah So they really expect everyone to read through every single one of hundreds of comments to find the single one that perfectly matches what they want to say and then hope that they see it and care about the like button? That's silly. It's also silly that they then post all the comments on the screen and treat it like people are physically yelling at them or attacking them.
The whole format is about them trying to show expertise on movies generally. There's also a lot of details that they miss because they're not paying attention and then they blame the movies for it.
Fun Fact: Medieval era people were not nearly as dirty as they're portrayed in movies. People in general stank more because there wasn't deodorant, but bathing was done regularly. They also had teeth in very good condition because there wasn't sugar in everything. Teeth don't need to be brushed in a natural environment. Modern jungle tribes usually have perfect teeth
they did brush their teeth with frizzled sticks and salt and they used toothpicks also
"Perfect teeth" of course being relative because they would be much more crooked and possibly brown from smoking various things.
The dirty they would be would unlikely be rot, though. Yes.
The Vikings were expensively clean. They bathed once a week, cleaned their hands and faces on a daily basis, and were really into personal grooming.
@@thebigbluenerd better than me
@@cornbredx Really nearly everyone through history had perfect teeth. Most every meal would consist of meat, and the chewing that goes into that works wonders for spacing and strength. Look up Weston A. Price.
I sure hope RLM reviews the hidden gem known as “The Batman”
Also, damn, another 1 hour HITB? We’re eating good tonight.
I hope they are as split on it as joker. That always makes for a good video.
I hope they review Morbius: It’s Morbin Time one of the movies that ever
I'm actually still a little full from the last HITB but I'll try to see if I can scarf this down
They won't. But you don't need them to tell you how bad it is. You can tell by attempting to watch it.
@@Scott_Silver Morbius is the most movie voted by readers digest!
Apparently people living over 1000 years ago were cleaner and more well groomed than all the grotesque modern Internet nerds, unclean beasts.
Yep, if you were living on a farm getting lots of fresh air and manual labor eating mostly root vegetables, fish and meat you’d actually look pretty good and have decent oral health.
I blame pop culture for making people think people were fillfthy back then, grooming standards have been a thing since ancient times. Maybe in the cities things were fillfthy, cities are still filfthy now. Everywhere else had a place for you to bathe and do laundry.
Honestly, after seeing it twice, my favorite cast member in the Northman is Claes Bang. I thought everyone did great, but every time Fjolnir was on screen, I couldn't take my eyes off him. He had a level of quiet intensity that overshadowed everyone else in his scene, while never being too over-the-top.
As someone who does early norse reenactment this was hands down one of the most historically correct movie I've ever seen for costuming.
Despite what a lot of people think these people were pretty darn clean and not covered in filth all the time.
I’ve heard British wenches went with them willingly because the Vikings actually bathed.
I was looking for this comment! Norsemen weren't THAT dirty. It's an exaggeration, but only an exaggeration, to say they brought bathing to the Brits.
I always think of that account from a middle eastern traveler who encountered some vikings in Italy (iirc) and he mentioned how much cleaner they were than other europeans.
Yeah and also the movie included scenes of the slaves doing laundry and cleaning the house. Even without modern technology you aren't going to life amidst filth if you have people to clean it for you and even if your workforce is mostly slaves you still deal with them on a daily basis and wouldn't want them to stink either.
Exactly. People throughout history generally didn't like being dirty if they could help it. And the Norse were described as being particularly well-groomed (at least in accounts of vikings by other folk of the time.)
Finally got to see The Northman. Great cinematography. It's a story that has been told many times, but it was definitely a fun experience.
Should have put a 'Spoilers' notice during that prophecy scene though.
nice teeth in the viking era would be historically accurate. People didn't really have rotten teeth before sugar became common in the food.
Pitted or worn teeth were somewhat common depending on the era and diet, in egypt the inclusion of grit from sand or coarse grains in the bread often led to those pits and wear. But in later civilizations as grains were further domesticated and milling techniques refined, that became less of a present issue. In norse cultures as with contemporary european cultures teeth would generally be healthy; the only thing you might see are more crooked teeth and yellowed teeth than what is normal today, as corrective dentistry wasn't very common and the natural color of enamel is somewhat yellowed. But people today seem to have the idea that medieval people looked and smelled like metheads, partially due to old biases we adopted from the Renaissance.
Thats not true dental from egyptian mummies show similiar dental issues to today. The speculation is grain based diets, not grainulated sugar.
@Ke Lo. I assumed that's what he meant by sugar. Grains are sugar at the end of the day. Vikings eating mostly meat and fish would have better teeth than far older Egyptians that ate lots of grains
I had a coworker from rural Liberia and his teeth were perfect with no dental care. Meanwhile my teeth are terrible with dental care, because as a kid I thought soda was an adequate replacement for water.
Bacteria thrive off of sugar and protein. High meat diets and eating fruits would also decay teeth.
Only Jay Bauman could come out of The Northman, look at everyone around him, and say, 'What? I thought that was incredibly accessible and straight-forward."
Perhaps when compared to Eggers other movies, it could be said to be accessible.
No, don't come with me. Stay here I don't want them to know you're with me. Next scene, release her and I'll give you the heart back.....
I feel like the only thing that wasn't straight forward was the skeleton fight because if it wasn't mystical then how would the sword have wound up there to begin with, in this remote island where Amleth wasn't even raised?
@@tomwells8093 it’s literally based on the legend of Amleth, which is what Hamlet is based off of. So of course it’s gonna seem “cliché” when it’s the OG “revenge on the evil Uncle” story
@@WittyOriginalUsername Thank you someone else that gets it.
My wife saw Takashi Miike's "Audition" in the theater without knowing what it was, she just went to the arthouse theater and asked what was new and they said they just got this Japanese film and she was like oh, ok, that sounds fun and went in sight unseen. I am so jealous of seeing it like that, not knowing going in what it was because it really does start off like a romcom.
Oh yes, that movie really works better that way.
I hope she’s okay.
Wow, there's an arthouse theater near you? I couldn't even watch Everything, Everyone all at once in my two local theaters because it only released in Thai language dub. The theaters usually only hosts Superhero movies so I thought I was lucky.
@@sawkevinnoel7954 this was back in the day, the theater was the Dobie Theater at the Dobie mall in Austin - to give you an idea of how long ago haha
Unforgettable tongue-less, limbless body in a potato sack can be eye opening for sure!
The Vikings were pretty clean people, I just learned from the hundred million other comments on this CZcams video making sure we know how clean the Vikings were and how much they showered literally every hour
I didn’t realise there were thousands of experts on Viking hygiene
Acksually Vikings bathed more than modern Man, and invented the perm.
🤦
I am 100% guilty of asking what's in the box and you know what? I think it's hilarious every single time.
part of the problem
We’re basic and we know it! 😂
Weirdly, I think John Cena would do really well in a thriller role where he's a guy who seems nice, mundane and normal, but has a crazy side like he's a kidnapper. Maybe when he's a little older. He's got that intensity to him. Mike's onto something here.
Peacemaker in the suicide squad was kind of leaning in that direction and he was great at it.
He is secretly an enforcer at a communist Chinese re-education camp
Yeah but I'd be goofy cuz it's John Cena. He'd need to act the hell out of that role to really sell it
@@alexsilva28 he probably wouldn't need to act or say that much in such a role, similar to what Arnie Schwarzenegger or Silver Stallone did early in their careers
It would be even better if he had all these weird kidnapper-killer vibes, but actually was just a normal dude and it was Anna Kendrick who in some kind of plot twist would show herself as a serial killer
I can't wait for the 2040 episode where Mike is just himself on the other end and sends his own copy back in time.
"Should I do the line about the Packers winning? That one didn't age well."
I like to think Rich Evans is in a green suit throwing things at Mike.
I fucking hated All My Friends Hate Me.
Thanks, Mike!
Was hoping they'd cover Everything Everywhere All At Once
EDIT: This comes across as too complain-y. Still glad to get RLM content lol
Glad I'm not the only one
Well they can't cover everything, they'd be here for hours!
Probably do that in a separate video
Was hoping they were gunna mention raised by wolves despite this being the movie part 2.
@@realjesterbell good point! It seems like it would be up their alley, being a whacky A24 film
Why is nobody talking about the fact that they use the same segue for every film? Like, not even a different take. They just edit the exact same shot in between each segment. Highly underrated bit.
OH
speaking of pandemics
@@pickleman40 movin' on
Subtle. Lol really thought he was just saying it again. Nice catch.
Northman was a masterpiece. I love how all the shamanism and destiny stuff was real in the movie's world. I love that scene were Anya Taylor-joy calls the wind. I love that the sword wont unsheath in the Daylight and that it kinda saved him. Great stuff, probably going to rewatch it now :)
The “Ultrasound” guy that Jay can’t remember has actually an almost identical look as Jacques Renault character in Twin Peaks, I was convinced it was the same actor.
Not coincidentally this actor, Bob Stephenson, appeared in Twin Peaks The Return. Walter Olkewicz (Jacques Renault) died in 2021.
I genuinely thought that’s who it was.
it's the guy in the David Byrne "Lazy" music video !
@@ViegasSilva that’s an awesome catch! I love that video!
I like to think that they didn’t tell William Da’Foe they were filming a movie and that’s just how he really is when people are at his house.
Willem
your comment is funny as hell and I could envision this being the case.
Genuine lol.
It's odd how we are just sort of trained to assume that everyone in the past loved being dirty all the time and would never clean themselves up.
I assume that sticking point comes from the dark ages specifically. Life as a European peasant was truly horrific.
But in general, it was a lot harder to keep clean without things like toothpaste or soap that didn't burn your skin off.
@@halowaffle25 The fact that you just said “dark ages” unironically is part of the training OP brought up
Yeah, and the one thing we know about the Norse is that they were considered freaks cause they bathed regularly (once a week), and had daily grooming rituals like brushing their hair, cleaning their teeth etc. Also, they wore wool clothes that were dyed in bright colurs, so no gray drabness. Ah, those damn misconceptions.
The dark ages is a real time. Also, not everyone, everywhere, were clean all the time, but as I said in another comment it's all relative in what "dirty" means and what accurately dirty would be.
A farmer, for example, would bathe (sure) but would also be dirty all the time even still because a bath would not be regular and their work, which they would be doing all the time with no mechanical vehicles beyond animals, would be dirtier than it is now.
So, no "dirty" wouldn't be what we think of as "dirty" but it would be relatively dirty depending upon the person, place, and maybe even relative distance to water among other factors.
Speaking in absolutes about history is futile since there is no way to know the truth about it 100%. We can only perceive what we can read about or study in other ways. We have no ways to know 100%. In which case it doesn't actually matter and becomes a moot point they made.
@@halowaffle25 it's called the middle ages. And just like any other time period there times of tremendous prosperity in Europe and times of true horror in Europe. But that's just like any other. In 1000 years people may look back at the 20th centry as a "dark age" despite the majority of people living more prosperous than people of any other time era.
I have to say your old review of titanic talking about “averageness” makes a lot of sense to why people don’t know how to go into movies like the Northman. I thought it was great! I loved the accuracy of Norse mythology, it’s history, and following from a book from 1000 ce. despite changing the ending of the Ahmlets legacy, I honestly think the ending made it do justice to the book, in the ending of the book, ahmlet lives and become king only to become a boring flawed ruler only to die in a battle in Denmark. The way they show the flaws of the Vikings and actually seeing how vicious they were especially with berserkers way of living. Vikings made sure they were clean they cleaned their teeth and hair with home made brushes and picks, the rituals were on point. Skarsgard was beautiful as usual and you can feel how personal it was for him to play this role, Ana Taylor joy was amazing the way she portrayed herself as Olga being the encouragement of ahmlet to see different sides of his destiny. Ok im ranting too much. I guess im trying to say im glad y’all didn’t hate it. For someone like me who loves history and films, especially when it comes to historical accuracy and being adventurous with creativity it’s sometimes hard to put both together, and it’s sad it didn’t get the praise it deserved. But I’m happy it entertained me and I hope they find a way to make stuff like this again
Both the “What’s in the box” and “When somebody asks you if your a god” movie quotes are used in How I Met Your Mother. Both are said by Robin and the “What’s in the Box?” Line is met with eye rolls from all the other characters.
I think Jay is way underappreciating just how little patience the average movie goer has for actual weirdness, and The Northman has weirdness in spades compared to something much more down the middle like a Gladiator or Braveheart or what have you. Could totally see a loooooot of people going in looking for a badass Viking movie (which it is, in my opinion, just also weird) and hating it.
LCD always wins :)
It could’ve used more weirdness imo. I’m kind of glad it didn’t do well if this is what we have to get out of Eggers when studios are really involved. I MUCH prefer The Witch and The Lighthouse.
@@VagaBohn same
Yeah this was kind of evident with the audience reception of Doctor Strange 2. I saw a lot of people complaining that it strayed too far from the Marvel formula and they didn't Sam Raimi's filmmaking
I guarantee you if you looked through all the reviews you’d find a low one saying it was a total rip off of Lion King
In defense of the plot of the Northman it is based on folklore that hamlet is based on as well per an article: “It’s a very old saga,” Skarsgård explains when we bring up the root origins of his film’s tale. “Shakespeare based his Hamlet on Saxo Grammaticus’ Prince Amleth from the 12th century. But Saxo Grammaticus most likely based Prince Amleth of Jutland, which we based our movie on, on an even older Icelandic saga from the ninth or 10th century.”
Maybe he should have chosen a more interesting story to adapt
@@Awesomesufff lol cope
@@Awesomesufff more interesting than hamlet? Damn man... good luck. People have been retelling that since the dawn of civilization, even Disney did a version of it.
Northman is the love child of Skyrim and Hellblade - and I’m completely ok with that 🤘
I kept getting Valheim vibes.
@@karenlusted298 yes, yes of course, Assassin’s Creed Valhalla, God of War. Pretty cool to see a live action version! If you haven’t played Hellblade, I highly recommend it :)
I have to agree with Jay honestly. I don’t think Gladiator or Braveheart or really any simplistic historical film would get much traction today.
@@scparker6893 all hope is not lost although with the news of HBO Max it’s still quite disappointing but Comic Books that don’t revolve around superhero’s are amazing and there is some wonderful ones being adapted like Paper Girls and Sandman.(although the latter’ s books are definitely better) it gives me hope. Something is killing the children (which is being adapted by The guy who did haunting of hill house, Hush, Midnight Mass, Doctor Sleep is being adapted and that is gunna be amazing as the author is wonderful) Monstress, Ice Cream Man, Black Science, Saga, wealth of wonderful stories.
I bet they could make a real rad Boudica movie nowadays
Watched the Northman, Everything Everywhere and Midnight Mass in the same week. That was too much high tier stuff for such a short amount of time.
That was one heckuva good week!!!!
Yeah... "high tier" stuff with the Northman... you mean with the main character walking into a hole to get cheat codes every few scenes from the supernatural? what an "earned" revenge story he had. He just step by step got cheat codes to his win. 6/10 it was fine. Lighthouse was much better.
Yeah with so little good things you need to space that shit out
@@yesthenyes6727 The Lighthouse is one of my favorite movies so agree on that point. As a Norwegian I really appreciate how the story is told like a viking saga from the point of view of vikings, where the supernatural and the influence of gods is perceived as real. The so-called "cheat codes" are not bad writing, but intentionally done to adhere to a certain type of storytelling/worldview. I can understand how not everyone will like it, but it is very much intentional.
Hey yeah, they skipped over Everything Everywhere, maybe I don't wanna know what they would say about it
FYI Mike and Jay, the Norse were actually quite into hygiene and bathed frequently. They also had pretty good teeth - they used sticks to scrape their teeth clean and had very low sugar diets, so not much tooth decay.
I lost my father to tooth decay
@@BartvG88 I lost my whole family because of it.
My entire village died from tooth decay.
Sounds like fake news to me 🤔
Did they all talk in English with stupid fake accents too?
46:10 Uhm, it's like, literally Shakespeare's Hamlet but derived from the origin story recorded in mediaeval Iceland.
51:30 Well now Mike, experts on the historical period said that it's the most accurate depiction of Norse society (clothing, housing, weapons, gear) in a big screen film so far; with notable fantastic exceptions such as the Berserkers, Norns and Valkyries because they are mythical characters and legends in the first place.
The frustration of many seem to come from the false expectation to see "A Viking Movie" but what they got was a film about revenge set in (or drawn from) the historical era of Norse doing Viking raids.
I can't believe they didn't bring up the movie Audition when they were talking about Fresh and movies that start out about one thing and then take a turn for the insane and savage. I went into Audition knowing nothing about the movie and nothing about Takashi Miike. I was the perfect audience and it blew me away.
I really liked the Northman was absolutely nothing Hollywood about it. The whole weapon introduction scene was just fantastic. That's how you introduce a magical weapon.
It was Hollywood as fuck. The fight scenes were so bad
@@Creabsley I have only seen a couple of battle scenes, and while I agree with you, I don’t think it was because the movie was “Hollywood”, but because of the limited budget and the fact that if you are going to do a fight scene, you have two options: get a Hollywood “John Wick” type stunt coordinator or a Hong Kong “John Woo” one. These authentic movies are one-off, and the audience expects “Hollywood authenticity” (as demonstrated by Mike in this review), so if you want to be historically accurate, you have to assemble a team from European historical reconstruction community and train actors for months.
If you are familiar with games, Kingdom Come: Deliverance devs had the same problem of wanting to do authentic weapon duels with ripostes and parries with average gamers expecting Skyrim/Morrowind left mouse button mashing combat.
Regarding the characters in "The Northman" being "too clean" - the vikings had a reputation amongst their contemporaries for being very clean and well-groomed, so that's actually historically accurate. 😁
People like to exaggerate how terrible the past was to make themselves feel better about the horrible state of our modern world.
People in the past worked a lot less, partied a lot more, had more sex, almost never had to interact with strangers, had an almost absolute view on faith to keep them content, and were generally ignorant of all the many things that cause excessive anxiety in modern people (germs, philosophy, ideology, climate change, etc)
Other than infant mortality and the occasional bouts of violence I would say the past was not to bad for the vast majority of humans.
Let your freaking smiley in your pocket
Still doesnt explain away the looks of the mother character - cosmetics and all - living in a village of 20 people in the middle of nowhere in the 9th century ad
@@nameredacted7622 You do realize that most people only made it to 20 right that's not myth. And no people back then in the dark ages use to belive that taling baths and being clean was bad for you. They though being dirty helped keep germs away. And them not understanding microbes led to black death typhoid and dysentery being rampant. Black death killed literally millions of people. And reappeared several times on a big Scale. Also tooth brushes where not invented until some time in the late 1700 or early 1800s. Tree bark was common
To quote John of Wallingford (Chronica Joannis Wallingford):
> "The Danes, thanks to their habit to comb their hair every day, to bathe every Saturday, to change their garments often, and set off their persons by many such frivolous devices. In this manner, they laid siege to the virtue of the married women, and persuaded the daughters even of the nobles to be their concubines.”
Damn Vikings, seducing our women with their cleanliness.
Re: the conversation about bait & switch trailers for horror movies, I've always thought that's the perfect way to do a Predator video game that no one will ever do. Market it as a completely generic military shooter, Call of Duty style, then an hour into the game the Predator starts hunting you and killing all your team mates. Surprise Predator game. It would be the best, but they'd never do it
And your multiplayer game turns into a single player game.
Crysis kinda did that but unfortunately the aliens in that game weren't as cool.
That was about what HALO 1 did.
I recall Bloodborne doing that wonderfully. They marketed it all-in on the werewolf angle and then suddenly you’re playing it and partway through bam, lovecraftian nightmare
Spec Ops: The Line is kinda like this, except the predator is war crimes
An Anna Kendrick film where it starts off like a rom com and turns into a horror? You're describing The Voices with Ryan Reynolds.
Kinda surprised neither of them noticed The Northman is literally just Hamlet. Like even just by way of Lion King. It's literally an adaptation of the legend that Hamlet is based on
The idea that medieval peoples were all dirty and wearing rags is more of a Hollywood invention than historical fact. People in the Middle Ages were actually quite clean and hygienic, even the peasants, and they enjoyed wearing colorful and clean clothes. So, in this regard the Northman was quite accurate.
Also the clean teeth. Folk didn’t exclusively have rotting, dirty teeth. The diet was very different back then and everything wasn’t packed with sugar. That’s not to say dental health in the past was as good as it is today, but it wasn’t as bad as some folk think either.
Vikings were actually more hygienic than most Europeans
Just look at people living in rural areas in the third world today. They might be exposed to a lot of pathogens, but they are not usually visibly dirty looking. It's mostly urban street beggers who are dirty looking. Overall, it's pretty easy to not visibly look dirty, since even without modern plumbing, you could wash your body and clothes in a river/lake. Soap has also been known about forever, and the Celts had a form of soap. The Romans used oil which worked fine for them. I'm sure the Norse had something.
@@gsawcomic They didn’t have pearly whites, many had crooked or chipped teeth due to grainy, sandy diets, but they weren’t rotting or full of cavities.
The Norse people of the viking era loved grooming themselves and combs are a commonly found artifact. So the clean hair displayed by the main characters is probably historically accurate.
Jay's dad turning off From Dusk til Dawn because of vampires is hilarious. Apple fell far from the tree on that bit
I can't agree with Mike nitpicking the fact Nicole Kidman being too pretty for the role. The whole movie is like a fairy tale almost, and the main character had built up his mother as this innocent goddess in his mind. You need someone pretty for that, and it only makes the midpoint turn all the more shocking. By the way, Nicole Kidman sells the fuck out of that scene.
It's not that she's too pretty, it's that she's clearly had lots of plastic surgery done and doesn't look like a real human. The movie prides itself on historical accuracy but they didn't have plastic surgery back then!
Jay's hatred of THE BATMAN is truly hilarious.
A slasher movie about a gym teacher going insane and killing all the other teachers with weapons and one-liners about the subject they teach actually sounds pretty fun, if handled with the appropriate camp and wackiness. Even the idea of setting up obvious one-liners or visual gags only for the gym teacher to be too dumb to notice or capitalize on them sounds like it could be really funny. It would subvert my expectations, making it instantly satisfying!
Obviously directed by Rian Johnson, to reinforce the quality of your expectations being subverted.
I'd watch it
Rain Johnson could call it “Guns Out” and have Daniel Craig appear in it so people think it’s the sequel to “Knives Out”, subverting their expectations!
John Cena would actually be a good choice for this.
Of course you’d have the one teacher of the opposite sex who wasn’t mean to the gym teacher with her being one he spares at the end
I agree Rich! I too did morb out in theatres when watching Morbius
I recently started watching BBC's Ghosts, based in a recommendation from Mike Stoklasa in one of their videos I have been recently binging. Many thanks sir, the show is brilliant and I am enjoying it immensely. Your channel is wonderful, please keep up the great work, I am looking forward to grabbing Space Cop off of Amazon in the near future.
The channel is pretty good, space cop not so much
I'm sad I live in a reality where a movie like The Northman can just bomb, it was glorious to behold in the theater.
It's an unfortunate side-effect of Hollywood being mostly abandoned by the types of people that would enjoy it. I've been to the theater three times in the last 11 years or so. Of those three times, I did not go opening night or even opening week; I waited for trusted sources to talk about a given film. Haven't had any faith in western entertainment and wide releases since some time after Return of the King and before the Hobbit hit theaters.
That Picard insert was hilarious. False advertising, indeed.
Haha, the YT ad immediately after it was for Star Trek Picard.
Mike going off on his movie idea rants warms my heart so much.
I was 100% certain the “creepy dad” from ultrasound was Jerry Gergich from parks and recreation… was actually shocked to realize it was two different actors
I'd honestly watch 20 minutes of Mike reading user reviews to Jay...
For years I've been worrying about Mike's spotty memory, maybe I should have been concerned for Jay all this time.
as Jay slowly absorbed the rest of the crew's hair, slowly he absorbs Mikes bad memory
@@Scribbled_Death Haha! Makes perfect sense, that must be what's going on.
when someone asks you, what's in the box?! you answer, a god.
Anyone watch the Northman and feel like the whole movie was like a Verhoevenesque satire?
I would like to recommend a Finnish horror film called Hatching. It is about a young girl who finds a monster egg and decides to take care of it.
Hey Ray if someone asks you “what’s in the box?” You say “yes!”
How did Jay talk about Ultrasound and the actors and story when he hasn't seen it? Impressive, Jay. Most impressive.
Time is a circle where we realized it was rewinding that truly had made us kind.
Half a star: Just a couple of hack-frauds talking to each other, like Rocky Racoons. A cross of Mr. Plinkett and the Nerd Crew.
more like a cross between Hairspray and Robocop
I've always wondered why Rich Evans always wears a hat. Is he hiding a little critter under there, like in that movie, Raccacoonie?
@@Ol_Keefus I thought it was more like a cross between Tenet and The Birdcage.
Heh
@@Ol_Keefus I'd stream that for a dollar!
"I like pranks" claims Mike, a man responsible for the destruction of that saucy Candid Camera video on the first Wheel of the Worst
Those weren't pranks. They weren't clever. The weren't funny. They were bottom-rung excuses for gawking at naked models.
Those weren't pranks, those were crimes waiting to happen.
Those were the work of the devil!
100% agree with Jay on The Northman. It is totally a mix between "Grease" and "Avatar". Well said, Jay.
The clear positive correlation bx the linguistic aptitude of a reviewer and the number of stars they gave, the Northman, was staggering 📈😅
True, but there was quite a bit of selection bias going on; and the positive comments weren't without grammar mistakes and typos, either. But yeah, agreed.
I really hope the Space Cop 2 trailer starts off with a drone opening.
Haha!! That’d be hilarious! Have you seen the movie? Was it good?
@@moviegumshoes yes. The best parts had space cop in the scene, which are most of them. When space cop isn't in the scene then it isn't great and you are waiting for space cop to show up.
@@moviegumshoes I just realized that the movie had not one, but two people out of time.
I don't get why everybody always assumes the vikings would be covered in filth. There are writings from that time period of British men complaining that the north people are wooing their women because of how clean they keep themselves, how much they care about their appearance, how they clean their fingernails and comb their hair constantly.
Same reason why people think ninjas were assassins roaming the shadows and martial arts experts.
They were spies that would eavesdrop and wear disguises.
Those...pretty boys! With their combed hair, and washed hands, and smelling like...like...Norseness!
For Good Reason. There's a reason for their hygiene.
King Knight got dumped onto Tubi less than a year after its premiere. Actually, all of Richard Bates' movies are on Tubi.
I'm not sure what that means, but at least they're all collocated.
I love how all of the low reviews of the Northman read like someone who has the writing skills of a person from the middle ages.
How do you mean, you got the impression that those reviewers had been trained for years by scholarly monks?
Thank god…The Batman review is finally here!