My Sister Was Left Out Of The Will And Is Guilting Me For Money!
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Where there's a will there's a relative.
The entitlement has arrived!
đ€Łđ good one ,really had me laughing out loud
And a lawyer lol
Lol
Nailed it!!!
âWhen you have to buy a relationship, isnât that called prostitution.â I was not prepared for that đ đ
My question would be: which sister was prostituted ??đ
talk to me or you dont get a will, yea thats acceptably what the parent did, the parent ruined the relation of the siblings. the sister even wanted reconcile before the money ramsey got that wrong. Yea and after the death they had a opportune moment to reconcile due to that situation, but the will cutting ruined that. Hearing shes not in the will made her not want to talk to the caller. It is indeed not about the money, she said so you agree with mother, that clearly shows it wasnt about the money.. ramsey never takes the perspective from both sides always favoring the caller
I had this happen when my mom was sick and then died. My brothers were a nightmare through the whole thing. After she died my brothers were all "we love you, just want to know how it's going, etc." The minute I finished with the probate and money distribution I haven't heard a word from them. It's been 10 years!
Oh Rosemary(I have always loved this nameâ€)âŠI am SO SO VERY VERY deeply sorry for the pain your brothersâ actions caused you. May you find comfort in the knowledge that you were there for your Mom, & then did the right thing by your brothers. You are NOT responsible for their actions..past, present or future. I know what it feels like to be ignored by family members. I still send holiday cards, etc to keep some type of loving hand extended. Anyhow, I pray that God blesses you a zillion times over anything you can dream or imagine. đđđ
Wow! Iâm not surprised!
That sounds like my late husbandâs family.
Consider yourself lucky
â€
Wow!
I was left out of my Dads will but never contested it because it was never have been about the money for me. Iâm saddened by losing my family much more than any inheritance. My Dad would always hold it over our heads to agree with him on all levels or we would be cut out of his will. My mom would never have done this as we were super close but she died first and I was never close to my Dad. Iâm a good person with no regrets. Iâm a hard worker and earn my own money and are loyal to my own children, the family I created. I send my former family love wherever they are. It doesnât pay to hold resentment so I live each day to the fullest and Iâm grateful for each day.
Some parents just want to use money as a wedge to pit their children against each other so that one feels more loved than the others.
Iâm truly truly sorry for your pain. May God multiply His best blessings to you â€
You are a beautiful woman! You understand what matters and you're still loving through it all even tho it hurts! Kuddos!
You just described the flip side to the "cut out of the will" action. The caller in this episode described a sibling who, by her actions, became estranged from her parents and was subsequently cut out of the will. In your case, the parent uses the threat of loss of inheritance to demand compliance / obedience from their heirs. I'm glad you have made peace with your situation.
@@lkj0822g If I remember correctly, the caller tells Dave that the sister tried to return and the mother refused her.
âMoney isnât the problem. Money reveals the problem.â True!
Itâs crazy how family who has zero concern about an elderly relative think theyâre entitled to money after the relative is gone. đ€·ââïž
This is what the mother wanted to do with HER money. One of our daughters has severed her relationship with us, conveniently not long after we put her through college. I am about to take the same action.
I'm sorry. Give it time. Hopefully, she will mature and come to understand your sacrifices for her.
that's unfortunate, hope it all works out
And I have done the same with my daughter....for similar reasons. She had just earned her master's which we helped pay for. Oh well....hope it was worth it because she is losing a substantial inheritance.
I highly doubt the woman worked lol. It was obviously the dads money who had a relationship with his daughter....
AS YOU SHOULD
People talk too much. There is no way her sister should know about your inheritance $$$ other than if YOU told her. Don't discuss your finances with broke people.
Some things are obvious.
As the next of kin to her deceased mother, the sister would be in a position to dig around and find out what happened to her mother's estate. She may have even seen the will.
Wouldn't she know once the will was read and the estate went through probate?
I'm not sure you know what a will is.
â@@linuxsurfer2002it isn't like the movies. You will be contacted if you're in the will, by someone representing the estate, be it the executor or a lawyer, and then wait for the legal process and get a check or whatever was left in the mail. Families don't gather around for a reading by a lawyer unless that is part of the will that it be done that way, and that it is usually mandated to be done by a lawyer representing the estate
I made it possible for my sister to receive 480K usd, helped her move across the country, and took care of her dogs, all for her to stab me in the back. I realized that the relationship you had with a sibling in childhood isn't the same when you become adults
That's terrible! So sorry to hear that. You sound like a wonderful person. God bless!
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hopefully your sis will think about having an attitude change. I feel sorry for her as it sounds like some bitterness and false pride may be effecting her reasoning. Be strong, be at peace, and just forgive her. Keep a humble heart over helping her by providing for her needs. Have no exceptations from others. You did what was right - keep doing what is right, and that is to give and to do for others. This is our joy - regardless of their thanks or lack of it.
Exactly. People fails to realize that.
This is so true, my siblings who I grew up with , well they all just like me or want to talk to me when they need money or something from me.
It hurts but Iâve stopped trying to fix relationships that clearly are broken.
AND I found out the same thing. My sister would come spend weeks in the summer with me all the while manipulating our mother and her inheritance. AND she is a "CHRISTIAN". LOL
When I confronted my dad about his sinful behaviors, I knew he was going to cut me off and I know I won't get a penny of inheritance. But I'm ok with that. When I stood up to my dad and spoke the truth to him, I knew that there would be costs. I don't need a penny if his money, and I sure wont pester any of my siblings for it after he is gone.
She left her out for a reason, honor that.
As with all of these calls, we don't get the full picture... is this a younger sister who was never in the Will to begin with or was she written out at some point and was that point before or after the mom's dementia.
Joe that is NOT ok. All siblings should always receive an equal share of everything. Anything else is not right.
@@costco_pizza I absolutely agree. Itâs playing favorites even in the afterlife which causes the survivors continue pain
You are not entitled to money you didnât earn. If your parents leave you out, move on. It wasnât your money anyway.
â@@peaceful525So manipulative narcs ruin families from the grave is condoned? Wrong, Dave labled the wronged left out sister a prostitute? The flying monkey daughter who now owns the money could have righted a wrong done to them both from narc mom, and eased her own guilt to boot, People are sick puppies for sure. Any mom that only rewards the bootlicker kids is mentally unstable for sure. Expecting to choose your kids spouses is way boundry crossing sick.
My sister will be left out of the will too. My mom was a widow and always made sure me and my sister had clothes, food, home, and love. However my sister choose out of nowhere to be irresponsible and go on spending sprees till she was heavily in debt and my mom paid for everything and got her out of debt. Next thing you know my mom gives her signature for my sisters new car after she crashed her old used car that my mom paid for of course. Now sheâs living rent free with us and refuses to help with the bills because she canât maintain a stable job. She has been irresponsible since 18 and sheâs almost 30 now. My mom fell ill recently and my sister refused to take care of her because in her words itâs not her responsibility. So my mom had enough and talked to me and told me I would be the sole beneficiary of the inheritance because Iâve always been there for her regardless. Iâm always there for my mom because I appreciate the sacrifices she made to ensure I was healthy and happy. The good news is that my sister will be moving soon with her soon to be husband so may God be with that man lol.
Sounds like your sister might have some unresolved mental health issues.
please ask your mother to put that in writing in a new will! She has said it to you but if it is not in writing, that does not matter. Your sister will be back for more!
Sounds like she already received her half anyways.
Once she leaves the family home DO NOT let her back in,she can paddle her own canoe.
Set yourself up financially where wills don't matter
I'm so glad that while me and my siblings are all very different, we love our parents and each other with all that we have in us. This woman's story just breaks my heart.
Then you are blessed indeed.
Same here. More than that, after our dad divorced from my mom, she has nothing to give us. And we don't care.
6:00 đŻ If she gives her money, then the sister will raise another problem. The sister is gone.
I learned this too late.
Never, ever, put yourself in the middle in family disagreements. You will end up being called a villain by everyone.
Unlike the lady in the real estate business with her ex the other day, this is a call where the other side of the story would be very telling.
Theres a side to every story. My parents gave my sister almost 100 grand and even asked me to give her some of my money. They never helped me in any way and pretty much wrote me off after they divorced. Bith were convinced my sister would become "famous" so fueled her lifestyle in NYC. Eventually I had to cut my family to protect myself. Gosh, I learned so much from that experience. I may get written out of any will though and obviously its something I have to swallow. However, after some thought I realized I won't have to take care of them in their old age - plus, I have my own money now. Family and money can be a dangerous thing. I figured it would be better to distance myself simply to protect my own new family. Everyone wants a slice of the pie but very few are willing to help with the ingredients!
It must've been hard going through that, your parents even forcing you to spend your money on their favorite.
@@sizweshongwe331 Thank you for that, it did a number on my mental health but I learned a lot. I don't talk to either of my parents now sadly because it's in my best interests.
Itâs sad how the âmoney is the root of all evilâ concept can sometimes apply in family will situations. It truly shows how unclose family members are when money is involved. It would be much better not to have wills or any money or property left to family after death but rather to go to a specified charity. This way no disputes among family members and parents wouldnât hold any control over their children with threats to cut them out of the will if they do not do as they say.
â@@kathleenphillips7145Love of money is the root of all evil. đ
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I'm not sure Dave is right on this one. We don't know the whole story. It sounds like the mom was a manipulator who wanted to control her daughter's lives. The caller said the mom was strong willed and didn't like who the sister married. She also said the sister did try to repair the relationship with the mom, but the mom wasn't budging. Maybe the sister just wouldn't cave to pressure and left because she wanted to be an adult who made her own decisions. If she was a bad daughter who lied, stole and was disrespectful that's another story.
I thought the same thing! Dave didn't have enough information to conclude this! A narcissistic parent will often abuse one child and spoil the other one! On the other hand, if the sister is an addict, you shouldn't give her money. Regardless, we needed more info!
This! Dave def jumped the gun
DR is open about being insanely controlling via his money/inheritance to his beneficiaries, and almost equally controlling of his employees lives. He didn't overlook anything, he fully endorses it. It's his right, but I don't blame anyone who cuts off toxic crap like that. You wouldn't catch me working for him.
The caller didnât state the mother didnât like who the sister married. The caller said there was an issue that involved the sisterâs significant other. We donât know if that means drugs, crime, race, orientation, disrespect, fraud, aboose, etc.
doesnt matter. moms $, moms decision. case closed.
Resentment and envy all come out when it comes to siblings or people in general they show their true colors money is a big trigger. Stay away from hateful people value your peace and take care of yours .
This is why Islam has clear inheritance laws. The deceased doesnât get to decide who inherits what. God does. The parents get a certain percentage, the spouse gets a certain percentage, male children get a certain percentage, female children get a certain percentage. If there are no children then the siblings get a certain percentage
@@overdose8329 Tell me, what does the male child receive and the female children.
@@andielliott7721 each male child receives double the female child. Spouse(s) receive 1/8 of the inheritance. Each parent inherits 1/6.
However if the female children do not have husbands their brothers are financially obligated to take care of them. Also, if the woman is married she doesnât need to contribute to household expenses at all
As executor of a will, follow the will. Any animosity that comes from following the will is between the deceased and the living. If the living create an issue, cut ties and walk away. Yes! It sucks, but then so do some relatives!! Sorry for the caller, but she didn't create these issues.
Who knows that she didn't help create the issues??
AndâŠ..As the sole recipient of the moneyâŠshe can do WHATEVER she wants with itâŠINCLUDING giving half to her sisterâŠwhich would be sowing seeds of love instead of continuing the fight of the deceased mom. I think the question to answer isâŠwhat is valued MORE? The moneyâŠor (possibility of) a relationship with her sister.
@@wellwoman5686 Thanks for the perspective.
@@wellwoman5686 true, unless the sister is a very bad narcissist, and then maybe she just keeps asking for more money.
@@kbanghart the caller never intimated that her sister was always asking for money, or was a narcissist. She DID however state that her mother was willful and refused to consider making amends. Their father is dead and gone, and I have to wonder if he would be okay with all the resources going to a single daughter. Just because they had disagreements doesnât necessarily mean she should be disinherited.
Does it ever help when someone tries to make peace between two family members? Seems like it always make things worse.
What a painful thing to go through. Bless.
Guilt is like a bag of bricks. All you have to do is put it down.
Yes!!!
Dave was quick to make assumptions on this one⊠he didnât ask the most important question though. Does the caller want to give money to her sister?? Forget the will, the money is now the callers and she can do with it what she wants. Itâs her right to keep it or give it away.
People leave the circle, always come back when money is involved.
That mother wanted to punish her daughter and still have some control even when she was gone. That sounds toxic
Exactly. I would have requested not to be in the obituary, nor would I have attended the services. Then when people asked why not, I would spill the beans over the true nature of the relationship.
Or she just does not want to leave it to a daughter who did not talk to her
Or she knows her daughter would just spend it all partying and on drugs
Exactly caller even explain that mom cut the daughter off. My guess is mom was manipulative so the daughter became manipulative
We don't have enough information to make a judgement. Any judgement we make is from our own traumas since we don't know what happened here.
Kids are not entitled to any inheritance. Stay off the guilt train.
I think they are unless they did something egregious
Makes me thankful I get along with all my siblings! That said, my older sis didn't get along with my dad for the longest time (bc my dad doesn't understand boundaries). And he always threatened to cut her out of the will, but that didn't matter to her.
Thankfully things have worked out & they reconciled.
Similar situation, we each got an even share but sister still mad. She filed for her 3rd bankruptcy as the money was being dispersed, guess she wanted me to hold her share so she got bankruptcy relief and the inheritance. I realized that there never was much of a relationship and the best thing I could do was let the sister call to reconcile or not. She hasn't but I feel at peace.
This is why I told me father not to ever talk to me about what he is leaving his family. I told him itâs your money, I just want him to be around as long as possible
My dad bought my drug addict sister a house because she told him my mother had shortchanged her in her will. Totally untrue. He asked me if I was okay with him doing it, and I told him it was his money to spend as he pleased. Eventually, he left everything to me, because my sister rewarded him for every good deed with abuse, slander, threats, false police reports, and more demands.
She will never receive a penny from me, and I do not accept any type of communication from her. All that I have goes to my wife.
It says a lot about someone who thinks theyâre entitled to someone elseâs money. Wow.
I could understand if they cared for their elderly parent for years and were still cut out. But no not in a case where the relationship isnât there, no way
Mothers arenât always the good, nurturing mom either. I can see my mother being a âmommy dearest â to me too. Donât always take the sister and momâs side!
Highly likely mom was a narcissist and caller is the golden child đ
It depends on the circumstances, like if the daughter was a drug addict, the money would harm her. But if I had a sibling that was kept off the will for no real reason other than they didn't see eye to eye I'd split the inheritance money.
Family isnât always blood line but family can be built through your life because sometimes we donât like the people who we share the same blood
Follow the will. It was your parent(s) money and they chose how they wanted that money distributed. Follow the will, end of story. If you want to leave something for a sibling, include it in your will.
A parent with dementia could be manipulated into changing the will.
Or give it to her now.Her choice. Saying I would give it to her but mom wanted me to have it is just a way to rationalize that she wants to keep the money which is her legal right. She financially benefited from a rift between her sister and mom.Plain and simple.Just own it instead of trying to get moral justification for keeping it.
@@Austenfan177 from a tax standpoint you can't just do whatever you want, because the gifts your beneficiary gives to others are not inheritance and they are taxed differently.
@@Austenfan177 I've got a coworker whose friend had told him he could have his luxury car when he died but he never put it in the Will. When it was offered to him and he realized how much the gift taxes would be he politely refused it.
So if a parent cut a kid out of the will simply for being gay or atheist, but otherwise is a good person, is that still okay?
I canât imagine the mindset behind thinking anyone owes me $ for sharing DNA or a last name. No one owes you anything in this world, including their $.
There are not enough facts here. My mom died last February and left everything to my sister. My dad died when I was 16 and my mom favored my sister all our lives. Mom and I were never close because she was not a kind or loving person. I started therapy 20 years ago so I could get help and move on. 15 years ago I reconnected with my mother because she was my mom and deserved to be treated with dignity. It was difficult for me because she was still cold and unpredictable. Yesterday I asked my sister to be fair and she flat out said no, not even open to talking about it.
YeahâŠnot sure why Dave was so quick to jump to conclusions here.
Dave always sides with the older parent knowing nothing of the situation. @@lucasharnish5537
I'm betting the phrase "asking you to be fair" wasn't the best choice of words on your part. It pretty much implies that you feel she isn't being fair, and you are asking her to not honor your Mom's wishes.
@@bethford6884
Well the mothers wishes is petty, and pointless.
Crazy how đ° can ruin family's. My mother and aunt no longer have a relationship because of it. Sad
Dave tends to jump to conclusions and insert his opinions before hearing the whole story... .. there is more to this and especially when the dementia was mentioned.. there is definitely more to this story
So sad for your mom & her sisterâŠand for you. Perhaps one day they will reconcile. In the call, the momâs spitefulness is the root of this problem. What she did in her will is vindictive. Her message in death wasâŠâI STILL donât accept you, and I certainly donât love you more than my money.â IMO. It is NEVER honorable for the living to carry on the dead personâs fight.
The Judd's come to mind
Was already ruined
@@wellwoman5686 this is a great response thankyou.
Why do you do the analysis if there are reliable Cross Staking platforms such as Cross Staking?
Nice!
As a parent, these arenât easy decisions. My husband is adamant we donât leave money to the children who are irresponsible and only leave it to those who it will help and will honor the gift. I am not so sure what I want to do. It is frustrating to know you saved to leave something to your children and within months it will all be gone with nothing to show for it. It is our money, no one is entitled to it. It doesnât equate to love. We have these conversations now but the irresponsible children still donât plan for the future or a rainy day. We stopped helping but now my MIL does and then she canât pay her bills and we help her so essentially we still help
Don't leave money to the irresponsible. And stop helping the MIL if she is wasting it helping the children
Idk if I agree with this. The way she said complications with partner might mean that her sister is lesbian and her mom cut her out for that. Not a big fan the way Dave hopped 0n the moms side without knowing anything.
You could just put in your will that the money is to be destroyed or buried with you.
@@Gaingar could be any number of such things, because some parents think they need to control who their child loves and spends their life with.
This is the reason that Trusts can be set up - check it out:-)
I have four children and helped them financially all of them at different levels each time I told them they very well could be spending their inheritance and they should pay it back. Well I am retired now and going to rewrite my will and from the looks of things my grandchildren are the ones in my will I skipped my children because of unpaid debts.
My sister was always asking for money from my mother and she got it. My mother now is in a nursing home with dementia. She doesnât have enough money to pay her bills and I and my motherâs brother and sister are making up the shortfall. My sister doesnât even call her. There will be no inheritance because she has nothing.
omg! stop telling my story! ;) we have exactly same scenario here.
Misery loves company and your sister is playing on your broken heart. Don't allow her to guilt trip you into anything. She got into debt so let her bail herself out. Being an enabler will NEVER fix anything- it only makes the person gets worse.
Thatâs a nice letter Dave. She should actually send it, which will clarify any misunderstandings between them.
It is the mother's money - she can do with it what she wants. There is no obligation to give anything to any child or sibling - the daughter who got the money was the mother's choice for whatever reason. Move on.
Idk if I agree with this. The way she said complications with partner might mean that her sister is lesbian and her mom cut her out for that. Not a big fan the way Dave hopped 0n the moms side without knowing anything.
Any parent can do anythimg with what they own - that's a fact, but love, compassion, and mercy must play the largest part in all decissions when it comes to our children.
Obligation is of the mind, and not of the heart. This is why so many children are suffering in our country. Too many a parent does out of cold obligation - the children feel this their entire live. Healthier and happier children that feel true love, compassion, and concern their entire life are living a more abundant, healthier, and productive lifestyle.
Leaving a child out of a will is cruel and heartless, and is probably enigmatic of how they have treated that dear child throughout all or periods of their life.
@@natnielsen8472 Amen. and Amen.
A court of law would agree with you, but life isn't all about the letter of the law. If there's anything unusual about how the mother chose to dispose of her assets, then questions should be asked, because family members should care about one another and should care to have some knowledge about affairs within the family. A scenario where everyone had "studied the law" beforehand and accepted the provisions of mom's will in a completely mechanical fashion with no questions asked, would be a huge travesty.
@@natnielsen8472 my mom has made it clear to me I will be left nothing. Itâs a reflection of the many years how I was treated by her. Iâm the black sheep and not the favorite. I think itâs a way to continue to make a wedge in the afterlife between my brother and I. I love my brother a lot and Iâd rather have our relationship than any money
She would never guilt me into giving her money.
No one is entitled to someone elseâs money. If your parent chooses not to leave you an inheritance, tough s--
The exception is for disabled offspring who are being supported by the government. You're not allowed to disinherit them (though if you can find a way of avoiding probate, you may get away with it anyway).
On the other hand, people are entitled to an upbringing that gets them off to a good start in life. Not everyone gets that, and sometimes it gets messy.
So if a parent cut a kid out of the will simply for being gay or atheist, but otherwise is a good person, is that still okay?
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist yes. As I said. You are not entitled to anyoneâs money, even your parentsâ money. And the law backs my statement up.
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwistyes, of course. It may make the parent a sh*tty person but at the end of the day, itâs still their money. Did the kid spend hours upon hours working hard to earn that money? No. The reason doesnât matter. Itâs their money, not the kidâs. They can spend it how they wishâŠyes, even in death. This constant sense of entitlement blows me away.
Please think long and hard about doing something like this in a will. Having your dying wishes cause anger and resentment in your wake seems like an awful thing to leave behind.
And it does that.
I have a mom who is going full steam ahead because she is a narcissistic who is the cause of all the toxicity. She w@nts to continue that in the afterlife
I love my siblings and will share if they are left out. I just couldn't live with myself. I'm too close to my siblings.
And that is exactly what I would do too....
My mom told me Iâm not getting anything. But if I was I would share with my brother. I would rather have our relationship than money
families are rough.
I have a sis who is crazy
The whole family ignores her
I try to keep talking to her
But itâs sad
Mine is lazy. She was enabled all of her life.
This reads like a poem
If you share (I am not encouraging it!), then you do it carefully. You don't give money. You give something else so they don't be irresponsible or use it as sustenance or legal grounds to fight you.
There is a chance the mother was extremely toxic.
The sister is toxic
no difference. Her $, her decision.
@@lucasgaeta3403 Of course it's her decision. No one disputes that. But she is literally calling to ask WHAT the best decision would be. And the specifics of the family situation make a big difference in that!
â@@isay207the apple doesn't fall far from the tree
Dave never pick up on the parent being toxic. My mum cut my brother out (not sure if she has me too), and has a personality disorder (diagnosed). She uses money to split the family and control me and my brother. I have always told my brother that if she leaves inheritance to only me, I will share it in full with him as I WILL NOT have her split us up as a legacy. I will not play her games. Huge Boomer advice from Dave about inheritance yet again.
Her sister doesnât want a relationship. She just wants money.
My dad cut me out of his will because he was an alcoholic and toxic and he left my sister a drug addict the money.
She ODâd the next day. Now my brother-in-law has a new girlfriend, a new sports car, and a remodeled house.
You're not always right Dave. Now I get to clean up the mess with no inheritance.
Easy to resolve. Share and share alike. Do the right thing. Some people leave this world and do not leave a legacy of love. Love your sister and create a legacy of love yourself. It's too late to do the blame game.
Don't get tricked out of your money, however you got it.
I hope i am left out of any wills don't want the BS... Made my own way in my life and don't need the BS from my brother.
Who was named the executor? This is why a lawyer will be mine. My Father was my Aunt's executor. Her deceased husband left a life estate ( she got the Income from the investments for life) Upon her death, his nieces and nephews received it per the will. They made it difficult for my Father to transfer their money to them. He had no control over the amounts. Much sqabbling over nothing.
Sounds like mom was trying to control the daughterâs life since she didnât like the daughterâs significant other. The daughter wouldnât kowtow to mom so mom hurt her the only way she could-writing her OUT of the Will. Mom sounds vindictive. If it was me, Iâd share the inheritance with my sister.
Yea you can't like everybody. I don't like some of the guys my sister has dated but it's her life. She can do what she wants.
That does sound like what happened, maybe the sister is a lesbian and the mom wouldn't tolerate that. If she were to give her sister a gift that would be taxed differently than the inheritance.
Or mom may know that the significant other will take or swindle the money from her daughter and would rather not allow room for that to happen by simply not giving it to her
@@AVG336 If the mom felt that way, she could have left it all to the other daughter with instructions to pay out a certain amount each month or year to her sister.
Look Holly we don't know her sister. We're just guessing from what the lady said that doesn't sound like her sister is anyone Worthy or capable of repairing relationship with. Then again we don't know only this woman really knows what her sister is about we're just taking a shot in the dark. If your sister isn't really an upright honest responsible person she's doing wrong by forking over money for her to go on for own sociopathic way. The woman's getting some good advice and there's nothing wrong with your thinking if you're dealing with somebody who's responsible and normal
The will should reads as follows: if you are left out of the will, you are not entitled to know anything concerning who was in the will. Period.
So if a parent cut a kid out of the will simply for being gay or atheist, but otherwise is a good person, is that still okay?
i would have said, "call jerry springer. stop wasting my time!"
guess dave's nicer than me.
Yes in the end it can be called "her will" but what if there is manipulation leading up to the writing of the will? Im not saying in this case, but it must happen.
If you give your sister money shes gone. I'm sorry. She's not there now. She just wants money. I'm sooo sorry
I agree, she's finding out what her Mom already knew, I wish her good luck. đ
Taking this at face value, the caller owes her sister nothing. If she chooses to help her sister, great. If not, oh well. đ€·đŸââïž
Rather disgusting how Dave can call the sister "dysfunctional" without knowing anything about the family
My fear is inheritance splitting my family, I choose to believe that my sisters would never forsake our bonds for money and materialistic "things" but I have read and watched so mamy stories of people who thought their siblings wouldn't betray them just for them to become monsters when it came to inheritance.
I always think a will should be split evenly as possible between siblings to not leave behind a legacy of family troubles as thatâs all it causes, but if someone has not even attempted to be in good relationships with the family then I donât know how anyone would feel entitled to it.
I think donating the money to charity that the disinherited sister didn't get, would have been a better choice than giving all the money to the one sister.
"boundaries".... find some..
Did all this disfunction/relational issues exist prior to the mother developing Alzheimerâs dementia?
Sounds like it did. The mother wrote her off years ago.
Parents don't "owe" their kids any inheritance whatsoever. Why would a parent leave behind something to a kid that they dont have a good relationship with who would likely be ungrateful anyway? If people build their own wealth and make wise decisions in life they won't be so pressed and dependent on others leaving them behind money when they die
So if a parent cut a kid out of the will simply for being gay or atheist, but otherwise is a good person, is that still okay?
Is the sister's partner a woman or a different race/religion? The caller said her mother had a problem with the sister's partner "lifestyle" so there's a lot info missing. I don't trust the caller playing peacemaker. đ€đ€·đŸââïž
I don't trust her either
Some parents believe they get to decide who their children will marry.
Financial accounts and insurance policies have stated beneficiaries and are not part of the estate probate process. Some estate planners might include these amounts in the overall planning process in an attempt to "equal things out" (for example, one sibling gets the family farm, the other sibling might receive a larger share of the money).
The time to talk about inheritance is before the death of the person. Unfortunately, very often, the first time anyone thinks about this stuff is during the ensuing days after a loved one has passed. Not the best time to be making these types of decisions.
My mom refuses to detail these out. She gets mad at me when I ask her how am I supposed to know who gets what if thereâs no will. Sheâs made it clear to me I get nothing
I might be going against the grain here and the caller sounds sincere, but the terms âsignificant otherâand the mother being âstrong willed â need further explanation.
Not really. Mom made a decision about HER money. Sister can share but certainly isnât obligated to do so.
It came off kinda racist tbh
You never know Dave?? My mama is a head case with my sister and oldest daughter. They blackballed me many times! I cut them off years ago! It could be the caller⊠just sayinâŠ.
I donât agree here⊠So many assumptions and I blame bad kids on bad parents.
Her mom cutting off her kid for 25 years is pathetic
I am surprised (and pleased) he said this. I thought he was going to compromise, as I am sure I remember him doing with a similar call. The sister is out of order asking for money that her mother didnât want her to have. She should have thought of that when her mother was alive.
These three in the call must of been the favorites in the eyes of their parents
Geez, I'm just trying to get my dad to do a will and estate planning. I'm not looking forward to the time consuming, costly probate. đą
Wow, I know we can't hear more than one side of the story, but Dave is so judgemental. The mother "not getting along with the sister's SO" is telling. And her "legacy" now is to permanently sever her children's sibling relationship.
agree with you Michael.. Dave jumps to conclusions with just a snippet of the story... Dave kinda has a nasty side and seems proud of it... he's kinda arrogant and proud of that too.. but Dave makes millions so it's easy for him to lord it over people, and it's obvious
@@impish22 I agree
Nahhh Dave is right here.
Once she gets money she'll be gone
I wonder why she was left out. đ€
Probably because sheâs abusive sounds like sheâs manipulative.
Because she treated her Mom poorly.
Because the mom was a narcissist.
She was probably a horrible daughter!
No one knows why she was truely left out - so no one can judge the situation and it's dead wrong to pass judgement on the sister that is not there to tell what her relationship was like with her mom.
If I was in this situation, I would give half the inheritance to my sibling. Not because I have to, but because I want to them I care. It sounds like she has years of resentment for being left out.
I don't agree with Dr Ramsey here. I don't know what the situation is. But if the mom was a narcissist and this caller was an enabler, I can understand why there is resentment. The mom is gone! To me, it would be more important to show my sibling that I care about them. If it doesn't heal anything than it's on them. But I would want them to know that I care. I was in a situation like this before, and I was willing to give up my part for aunts that were upset for being left out of my grandparents will! It didn't heal the relationship, but at least I showed them that I care.
If her sister is an addict or something, that would be different.
Exactly âŒïž
So you'd go against your deceased mother's wishes, and then once gave half the money you wouldn't hear from your sister again because she would have no use for you any longer.
@@MistaTofMaine First of all, once she is dead, it would be my money. But take into consideration, if my mother were a narcissist, and my sibling got the bulk of the abuse, etc. There are circumstances that could make it the morally right thing to do.
@@MistaTofMaine wrong. Once the money is in my hands itâs mine and I can do with it what I want. If I want to give to my sibling thatâs on me.
âTrusting you is my decision, proving me wrong is yours.â
The one thing I take issue with on this one is how would their dad feel if he knew one of his daughters was excluded. Also, Alzheimer's can strain relationships and it starts long before an official diagnosis. I would think that if the mom were of sound mind she would never have excluded her daughter, even if they weren't always close.
My mom is a narcissist. We had a rough childhood with her ups and downs. She is now slipping. We couldnât figure out for years what was wrong, but now since our grandma died of Alzheimerâs we see mom following the same pattern. My sister is controlling and manipulative, Iâm pretty sure Dave could have jumped to conclusions about the caller as well. Money and wills bring out the wolves!
She stole her sisters money with her trash mom..Ramsey supporting it
I think it's such a wild concept to argue over a dead person's money.
Ramsey pronounces in a few seconds on a family matter with all its nuances that took years to play out. Without the input of the other party no less.
"Why would your mom leave something to someone who would not speak to her".
You don't need "nuance" to come to that conclusion.
@@ld4974 the woman said that her sister tried to speak to the mother but the mother was too strong willed to cave
There are many reasons a parent might have a falling out over a child's choice of spouse. Examples include marrying a same-sex partner, marrying a different race, marrying a Christian, marrying someone from a different location and moving there with them, marrying someone from a financially less prestigious family, general personality clash over nothing egregious, etc. I even have a friend whose mother told her she would stop talking to her if she got married, because the mother was just an abusive and controlling person, and despite years of attempts by my friend, they have not spoken since. From these people's perspectives, it is their defiant child's bad decisions that caused the rift. If my parent cut my sister out of the will for any reason like these, I would absolutely cut her a check for half of it the day it was all settled. I do not understand the argument about "respecting the deceased's wishes" as if that's universally the right thing to do. Legally of course, the money has to go initially to who it was willed to. But once they have that money, it is up to the living to decide how to use it. If the deceased's wishes were to create fractions in relationships after they were gone to punish and control people (which yes, some people ARE actually messed up like that), those are not wishes I would honor once I had the money in my possession and had the choice what to do with it. It is more honoring to actually ACT honorably. The lifelong relationship that remains active in the one between the siblings, and the deceased is no longer in a place to see or care what happens going forward. Now if the reason someone was left out of a will was more like, "is or is married to someone who will gamble or buy drugs with all the money," or "stole money from the mother," then I get it, but from the sound of this call, it's not one of those things. There was a lot of information left out of this call, and while it absolutely is the caller's decision and her money, the right thing to do isn't always to demand your rights.
Look assets are no one's but the owners! They don't owe anybody! They can do what they want with what they own. This situation sounds a lot like my brother, relational blackmail, threats and relational withdrawal. Money is not the problem....it is revealing the problem... Yup, that is exactly my conclusion.
I would like to hear the other side of the story
This is validating had a similar problem
How do you two men know Mom didn't play favorites and cause problems between the girls? The caller can do whatever she wants, but Mom probably was no peach.
"Children respect your parents. Parents do not anger your children." The sister being gossiped about by you guys, behind her back, is angry. Mom was no peach.
Got cut out of my grandfatherâs will. Iâm sure I was supposed to feel bad. Whatever. I stand by my choice.
Honestly, I don't think it matters who the cause of the relationship breakdown was, I wouldn't be expecting an inheritance from someone I have no relationship with.
I agree but I also think that should come into play when making judgments about her and Dave calling her a head case or saying she wants prostitution. Maybe her mom sucked or was abusive and she dealt with it for many years and now wants part of the money. Obviously, legally this doesnât give her the right but that doesnât make her morally wrong.
If she inherits the money, it is up to her what she chooses to do with inheritance, but she can't make the sister get an inheritance. She can give the sister a gift, which would possibly incur gift tax depending on the amount. But Dave nailed it--this is a relationship issue, not a money issue.
One day I'm gonna have to share this house i basicly purchase my self for my parents,i have 3 brothers because i put my parents name in the property documents wanted to be a nice son,only 1 of my brothers deserve a part,another one have never provide a single dollar for anything..!
Don't disrespect your parents. It is right there in the 10 commandments.
@David Chavez it is a law given directly from God to Moses.
Is there anything about not making assumptions in your Bible? If your parents say, "you can't love that person" would it be disrespecting them if you did? If your parents said "our daughter's job is to be at home raising he babies" and you decide not have children and instead have a career, would that be disrespecting your parents?
@@brianparrett114 yes and yes. This is because it is God's Law. I am ex-atheist. I do not need your anecdotes, the reason why the West us falling to pieces are people like yourself. Without morality or God, there is nothing worth saving in what ever world you want to make
@@brianparrett114 The Ten Commandments are not assumptions, they are commandments.
Some parents are very bad people. I didnât realize this until I got older.
Hi George. Haven't seen a clip with you in awhile. Mom's choice. Its the caller's money now. She is free to give some to her sister if she wants.
Why is George not allowed to take a vacation?
There would be different tax implications since that would be a gift instead of an inheritance, which would be a good topic for Dave to discuss instead of the judgmental "you're sister is crazy" assumption he made.
@@brianparrett114 you make a great point. What an awful place to beâŠstuck between the IRS & a vindictive will.
My sister is the toxic kind that blames everyone else for her problems. I donât let her get away with lies so she calls me abusive. Sheâs been estranged for years at this point, and it took a lot for me to let it go, especially wen my daughter was born
Well, that answers my question to. May leave my money to the local school district libraries.
Why would the sister want the money if she didn't love her mother because of whatever?
Who says that the other sister didn't love her mom?
I would help out, because it's now my money, and it's the right thing to do.