As a man...for the love of God, please give us some sort of clear sign. Just saying "hello" to us isn't going to be enough, not by a long shot. Standing near us when you don't have to, doing little favors for us, making eye contact, playing with your hair, taking interest in something we like, and laughing at our dumb jokes all help us realize that you're into us!
@@_xBrokenxDreamsx_ I wish I had more courage as a man when I was younger. I HATE being rejected. It makes me full of shame and that I'm not worthy. But now I realize that we all have to take risks and be wiling to get hurt. And that doesn't mean we are not worthy or that we should feel shameful. But that it's ok.
@@_xBrokenxDreamsx_ As a man I like who likes me, and I attract a decent amount of women and it generally works well. Save your useless comment for someone else
Being able to vocalise your motherly urge of wanting to have a family,without fear of being humiliated,deserves a standing ovation 👏 Loving your feminine 'swag' 😄👌
100% We have to trust in the desires God has placed onto our hearts and not be afraid to share them - God will make them manifest in some way, even if it isn't according to our timeline or plans (sigh!) And ha, thank you! I wonder what the feminine version of 'swag' is? Feminine genius? Feminine energy? Either way, I'll take it!
I think that if you are a girl you need to be more obvious than you think you need to be. Dropping the hankie needs to be uncomfortably forward. If it can be mistaken for being friendly, it will be mistaken for being friendly. You need to say something like, "Wow, you are incredibly attractive! I would love it if you would ask me on a date!" Speaking for myself, I always assume that an action is just someone being nice to me. This is the level of obvious that the hint would need to be for me to pick up on it.
Ha, Haydon! I'm getting this feedback a lot which I'm finding hilarious because I think we women think we're being sooooo unsubtle with our "hints" but someone said to be last time, they need a quite literal flashing green light to know the woman is interested. You've given me food for thought!
women are very open and obvious with the guys they like. just look up any male pop star concert online - 100k women all bought an expensive ticket and traveled a long distance because they have a fantasy of being with the one guy on stage. there are women who have uprooted their entire lives and moved across the world to be in the same area as the guy they had a crush on when they were teenagers; they'll literally do anything for the guy they like, unfortunately they only like the one guy on stage and the other 99 thousand guys in the area aren't even allowed in the stadium. if they don't like you you'll end up like airport guy and they'll give you an inane reason as to why they can't date you. women always talk about how they want the guy to make the first move and offer a date but in reality they're just imagining the guy they like doing that and rejecting everyone else. women are hypergamous, which means they aren't looking for an equal partner they're looking for a good deal/to date up. pretty much the plot of every romance story is the unassuming, 'average' girl somehow charming the higher value 'out-of-her-league' guy into liking her. when women use terms like 'swag' or 'confidence' they really just mean physical attractiveness or the perception that he's higher status than her. there's nothing wrong with being shallow but people, especially women, don't like to admit that publicly. swag by definition is all performance and no substance. in the real world swag literally refers to low-iq antisocial men who manipulate people with presentation and treat women and children poorly. millions of women still like justin bieber and chris brown because they have 'swag' despite it being common knowledge that these guys are emotionally and physically abusive towards women. if you want to have a healthy relationship you prioritize other qualities such as conscientiousness, openness, agreeableness and low neuroticism (a responsible, emotionally stable person who communicates effectively and considers your thoughts and feelings). unfortunately, like men, women are just dumb animals and their monkey brains win out most of the time. the halo effect is real and humans will assign undeserved positive qualities to objectively bad people simply because they perceive them to be attractive or popular. just watch any 50s movie where the goody two-shoes catholic school girl sneaks out of her parents' house to be with marlon brando on a motorbike; women have been mistaking psychopathic irreverence for legitimate competence since the beginning of time. i'm not blaming anyone (except society) btw just trying to explain the dynamic. if parents never set boundaries for their kids and let them eat whatever they want they'll gorge themselves on ice cream and candy until they have a stomach ache and ruin their health. if society never puts any pressure on men and women to grow up and do the right thing guys will waste their lives playing video games and women won't stop chasing the bad boy pop stars around.
@@delphinediscusses The problem in today's society, especially in the US is that massive swaths of women come off "extra friendly" for attention, to see if the guy will bite, and once he does, she satisfies her need for attention and moves on, enjoying the fact "she still has it", or whatever. The other problem is a problem women have created in that they complain about men taking their friendliness as a sign to approach them, yet on the other hand complain that men never approach them because they can't "read the signs", creating a catch 22 for men where they are "screwed either way". But the biggest problem of all is the hookup instagram culture the west has created where all of the women can flock to the internet to get massive piles of attention at any given moment by tons and tons of guys. This attention leads to a false sense of superiority where it feeds the egos of women to the point they begin acting unbearably unfeminine and unattractive to the men that would take them seriously.
I think there's not a lot of matchmaking, because people don't know single Christian men or women to suggest to the other! But I know you said it's a tangent at the end there, but I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on attraction! I find that really difficult to determine myself, unless I get to know someone and have a strong emotional connection with them (I think this is called demiromantic/demisexual). So, I fall into this weird place of where I find out a Christian guy might be single and maybe make effort to try to get to know him better, but I also don't want to lead him on, since I don't know if I actually will be attracted to him.
Thanks so much for the comment - this has gotten me thinking. 'Attraction' is such a fascinating thing, I'm seeing more and more women who fell madly in love with their husbands over time, but I still think this is dependant on a lot of things, of course. I'll dig into this!
Exactly that. We used to have genuine communities where we would look out for one another, I so hope this is coming back - not just into fashion - but for good!
hmmm....telling a stranger you are single is pretty difficult. You are always worried that you come across as desperate. But hats off if someone can do it! Thanks for sharing! You've got a "swag" young lady!
To strangers, yes... but to friends, colleagues, family members, I think it's good to vocalise these things. Not in a desperate way but in a "yes, I'd love to meet someone someday" type way, as sometimes when you've been in a prolonged season of singleness people can [wrongly] assume that that's your preference and not think much more of it. And could be missing opportunities to make suggestions or introductions. (And, aw, thank you!)
@@delphinediscussescan I tell this guy who is also like my boss at work that I like him. It could be he is younger than me I don't know, I'm in my mid 30s. Should I express or just let it be
@bodhitsal7638 You are a woman I assume? If so I will say that telling a man you like his is a turn off. Would be better to mention your interest to a colleague you trust who can tell/hint to him that you are interested. Bonus points if your desire is to be a trad wife. Modesty and traditional Christian values are the most attractive qualities us men look for.
@@solarjudgement4575 Yes I'm a woman. No relation ever worked out for me whether it was a man who approached me first. But I will take your advice. I don't trust collegue.. I don't know how to drop a hint
@@solarjudgement4575 I don't think tell a collgue is a good idea. I don't trust my collgue, they're just my collegue not a good friend. But he is a good man.. If I express my feeling, will that make me immodest? In my mid 30s, I'm not looking out just to hook up. If he likes me back, yes offcourse I want to be his wife
RIGHT!? I love playing matchmaker - in the same way I like taking candid and cute photos of others, secretly also hoping people will play matchmaker with me (and take candid photos of me, lol..!) but yes, all God's plan and timing - we just need to move when He tells us to move. He is the BEST author, we just need to figure out how to be the best narrators we can be of the story He's planned for us
Hi Keshia! I love this question. Have you seen my video specifically on this with tips from real men? czcams.com/video/I6oOzsutYgw/video.html I would say, of course, you need to always act professionally since you see this man at work, but are you able to strike up conversation with him, find a common interest that's outside of work? You could then mention something relevant (for e.g. Say you're speaking about watching Wimbledon, you can say you love playing tennis and often go in ABC park, and ask, if he plays tennis. And then you might need to be a little more explicit, like "well if you ever need someone to play tennis with, you know where to find me!" It's an open-handed invite without being a direct invite so it's letting him know he could ask you if he was interested. What do you think? Open to men chiming in here too!
The Dude picked up on your energy in the airport. It was a glitch in the Matrix eh? Go back to the airport. It was probably a soul mate from a previous life. Values change from time to time and place to place.
As a man...for the love of God, please give us some sort of clear sign. Just saying "hello" to us isn't going to be enough, not by a long shot. Standing near us when you don't have to, doing little favors for us, making eye contact, playing with your hair, taking interest in something we like, and laughing at our dumb jokes all help us realize that you're into us!
as a man pursue the women you're interested in and stop whining.
@@_xBrokenxDreamsx_ I wish I had more courage as a man when I was younger. I HATE being rejected. It makes me full of shame and that I'm not worthy. But now I realize that we all have to take risks and be wiling to get hurt. And that doesn't mean we are not worthy or that we should feel shameful. But that it's ok.
@@_xBrokenxDreamsx_ As a man I like who likes me, and I attract a decent amount of women and it generally works well. Save your useless comment for someone else
Being able to vocalise your motherly urge of wanting to have a family,without fear of being humiliated,deserves a standing ovation 👏
Loving your feminine 'swag' 😄👌
100% We have to trust in the desires God has placed onto our hearts and not be afraid to share them - God will make them manifest in some way, even if it isn't according to our timeline or plans (sigh!)
And ha, thank you! I wonder what the feminine version of 'swag' is? Feminine genius? Feminine energy? Either way, I'll take it!
This would only draw criticism from lib/lefties. Not from normal sane people.
I think that if you are a girl you need to be more obvious than you think you need to be. Dropping the hankie needs to be uncomfortably forward. If it can be mistaken for being friendly, it will be mistaken for being friendly. You need to say something like, "Wow, you are incredibly attractive! I would love it if you would ask me on a date!" Speaking for myself, I always assume that an action is just someone being nice to me. This is the level of obvious that the hint would need to be for me to pick up on it.
Ha, Haydon! I'm getting this feedback a lot which I'm finding hilarious because I think we women think we're being sooooo unsubtle with our "hints" but someone said to be last time, they need a quite literal flashing green light to know the woman is interested. You've given me food for thought!
women are very open and obvious with the guys they like. just look up any male pop star concert online - 100k women all bought an expensive ticket and traveled a long distance because they have a fantasy of being with the one guy on stage. there are women who have uprooted their entire lives and moved across the world to be in the same area as the guy they had a crush on when they were teenagers; they'll literally do anything for the guy they like, unfortunately they only like the one guy on stage and the other 99 thousand guys in the area aren't even allowed in the stadium.
if they don't like you you'll end up like airport guy and they'll give you an inane reason as to why they can't date you. women always talk about how they want the guy to make the first move and offer a date but in reality they're just imagining the guy they like doing that and rejecting everyone else.
women are hypergamous, which means they aren't looking for an equal partner they're looking for a good deal/to date up. pretty much the plot of every romance story is the unassuming, 'average' girl somehow charming the higher value 'out-of-her-league' guy into liking her.
when women use terms like 'swag' or 'confidence' they really just mean physical attractiveness or the perception that he's higher status than her. there's nothing wrong with being shallow but people, especially women, don't like to admit that publicly.
swag by definition is all performance and no substance. in the real world swag literally refers to low-iq antisocial men who manipulate people with presentation and treat women and children poorly. millions of women still like justin bieber and chris brown because they have 'swag' despite it being common knowledge that these guys are emotionally and physically abusive towards women. if you want to have a healthy relationship you prioritize other qualities such as conscientiousness, openness, agreeableness and low neuroticism (a responsible, emotionally stable person who communicates effectively and considers your thoughts and feelings).
unfortunately, like men, women are just dumb animals and their monkey brains win out most of the time. the halo effect is real and humans will assign undeserved positive qualities to objectively bad people simply because they perceive them to be attractive or popular. just watch any 50s movie where the goody two-shoes catholic school girl sneaks out of her parents' house to be with marlon brando on a motorbike; women have been mistaking psychopathic irreverence for legitimate competence since the beginning of time.
i'm not blaming anyone (except society) btw just trying to explain the dynamic. if parents never set boundaries for their kids and let them eat whatever they want they'll gorge themselves on ice cream and candy until they have a stomach ache and ruin their health. if society never puts any pressure on men and women to grow up and do the right thing guys will waste their lives playing video games and women won't stop chasing the bad boy pop stars around.
@@delphinediscusses The problem in today's society, especially in the US is that massive swaths of women come off "extra friendly" for attention, to see if the guy will bite, and once he does, she satisfies her need for attention and moves on, enjoying the fact "she still has it", or whatever.
The other problem is a problem women have created in that they complain about men taking their friendliness as a sign to approach them, yet on the other hand complain that men never approach them because they can't "read the signs", creating a catch 22 for men where they are "screwed either way".
But the biggest problem of all is the hookup instagram culture the west has created where all of the women can flock to the internet to get massive piles of attention at any given moment by tons and tons of guys. This attention leads to a false sense of superiority where it feeds the egos of women to the point they begin acting unbearably unfeminine and unattractive to the men that would take them seriously.
I think there's not a lot of matchmaking, because people don't know single Christian men or women to suggest to the other!
But I know you said it's a tangent at the end there, but I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on attraction! I find that really difficult to determine myself, unless I get to know someone and have a strong emotional connection with them (I think this is called demiromantic/demisexual). So, I fall into this weird place of where I find out a Christian guy might be single and maybe make effort to try to get to know him better, but I also don't want to lead him on, since I don't know if I actually will be attracted to him.
Thanks so much for the comment - this has gotten me thinking. 'Attraction' is such a fascinating thing, I'm seeing more and more women who fell madly in love with their husbands over time, but I still think this is dependant on a lot of things, of course. I'll dig into this!
@delphinediscusses Thank you! I'd love to see more discussion on this from a Christian perspective!
The matchmaking thing was how people used to find each other before the "bar scene" got mistaken for effective.
Exactly that. We used to have genuine communities where we would look out for one another, I so hope this is coming back - not just into fashion - but for good!
hmmm....telling a stranger you are single is pretty difficult. You are always worried that you come across as desperate. But hats off if someone can do it! Thanks for sharing! You've got a "swag" young lady!
To strangers, yes... but to friends, colleagues, family members, I think it's good to vocalise these things. Not in a desperate way but in a "yes, I'd love to meet someone someday" type way, as sometimes when you've been in a prolonged season of singleness people can [wrongly] assume that that's your preference and not think much more of it. And could be missing opportunities to make suggestions or introductions.
(And, aw, thank you!)
@@delphinediscussescan I tell this guy who is also like my boss at work that I like him. It could be he is younger than me I don't know, I'm in my mid 30s. Should I express or just let it be
@bodhitsal7638
You are a woman I assume?
If so I will say that telling a man you like his is a turn off. Would be better to mention your interest to a colleague you trust who can tell/hint to him that you are interested. Bonus points if your desire is to be a trad wife. Modesty and traditional Christian values are the most attractive qualities us men look for.
@@solarjudgement4575 Yes I'm a woman. No relation ever worked out for me whether it was a man who approached me first. But I will take your advice. I don't trust collegue.. I don't know how to drop a hint
@@solarjudgement4575 I don't think tell a collgue is a good idea. I don't trust my collgue, they're just my collegue not a good friend. But he is a good man..
If I express my feeling, will that make me immodest? In my mid 30s, I'm not looking out just to hook up. If he likes me back, yes offcourse I want to be his wife
love these
RIGHT!? I love playing matchmaker - in the same way I like taking candid and cute photos of others, secretly also hoping people will play matchmaker with me (and take candid photos of me, lol..!) but yes, all God's plan and timing - we just need to move when He tells us to move. He is the BEST author, we just need to figure out how to be the best narrators we can be of the story He's planned for us
I work in retail and there's a cute guy customer
Any advice on how to drop the hanky? I dont want to make him feel uncomfortable
Hi Keshia! I love this question. Have you seen my video specifically on this with tips from real men? czcams.com/video/I6oOzsutYgw/video.html I would say, of course, you need to always act professionally since you see this man at work, but are you able to strike up conversation with him, find a common interest that's outside of work? You could then mention something relevant (for e.g. Say you're speaking about watching Wimbledon, you can say you love playing tennis and often go in ABC park, and ask, if he plays tennis. And then you might need to be a little more explicit, like "well if you ever need someone to play tennis with, you know where to find me!" It's an open-handed invite without being a direct invite so it's letting him know he could ask you if he was interested. What do you think? Open to men chiming in here too!
@@delphinediscusses wow that's a great idea thank you😊
The Dude picked up on your energy in the airport. It was a glitch in the Matrix eh? Go back to the airport. It was probably a soul mate from a previous life. Values change from time to time and place to place.